This Advice about my Marriage changed everything. | Biblical Womanhood, Traditional Wife & Marriage
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- Опубликовано: 28 май 2023
- Full Video - • (S2E1) THE CONTROLLING...
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ABOUT THIS CHANNEL | I am a wife to an exceptional man, a mother to beloved daughters, a diligent homemaker, and a businesswoman. But before all these roles I am a woman who belongs to The Lord. A daughter to the God of The Bible through the work of my savior Jesus Christ. On this channel, you will enjoy content designed to cultivate a rich experience of biblical womanhood. You will be encouraged to place your true hope and faith in the Lord. You will also hear hard discussions about accountability and personal responsibility for your life and what it produces. We embrace real character and integrity as much as we do physical beauty and femininity. We are called to be women of our Father's Kingdom and to honor Him with our speech, actions, and our modest yet feminine dress. I would love to have you along for the ride as we embrace a manner of life that brings honor to the name of our Father and get to the work of accomplishing our mission.
#HOUSEWIFE #Proverbs31 #ChristianWomen
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Marriage is a partnership. Not a fight for control , both persons should respect each other. Men don't know everything.
Those dresses are absolutely beautiful!! ❤ Thank you for sharing
I'm married to a real man but he hates my modesty. He wants tight fitting, trophy. Not th way.
Yes Lawd🙏🏾💪🏾👏🏾👏🏾💯
This man is real after seeing all the comments and asking for help. I see that my prayers are coming true Thank you Dr OLUWASEUN🤗
He’s on Facebook page…
When she said older I’m thinking 60s sis said 40 and 39 😂😂😂
she got to be 18😂😂 cause baby who...😂
@@carmellazfairley3691 Frfr 🤣
Saw that too, must be 21 and her husband 22 what is she even doing in marriage
😂
😂😂😂😂
A man listening to a women doesn't make him a pushover. It depends on what the lady told him. A wise man will listen to a women's wise counsel too.
If you listen to what she said closely, she said a real man won’t let himself be ruled by a woman. She didn’t say listen to his wife. That’s where woman get confused. But to often woman use emotional sexual even mental blackmail to get their way . Has happened to every husband at least a hundred times.
That's right
I see many femake narcs with scared floppy men walking behindthere wife like a sack of potatoes
That's just code for " you have to do what I say because I said so!" . Women will scream husbands don't listen to them because they don't obey their wives 24/7
A real man WON’T let himself be ruled over by a woman BUT he will allow himself to be ruled over by G*d almighty. Which both Man and Woman should be allowing to be ruled over bc when they are both under G*ds protection and counsel.
A real man knows how to lead with LOVE not just because he is a man.
Amen ❤
This!! I am being lead only because he is a man and not by love and that’s hurtful
@kamiliachadliwho told u that?
no a real man lead with love and with the fact that he is a man
he does it with both.
Love i encompasses everything
A real man and a real woman know how to work together respectfully and not overstep or abuse boundaries. Takes maturity, love and self control.
Yes, while I agree with the sentiment this video is trying to convey its important to recognize that it takes two to tango
Exactly , pride is the devil for some men and women.
EXACTLY
YOU DIDN'T PUT GOD I THE MIDDLE!!!
@@christinechetty7498 it didn't sound like that
I have been married for 20 years. Trust me, it takes a partnership, love, commitment, and NOT A POWER STRUGGLE to make a marriage work.
Exactly. You have to be a team. Will you have struggles? Yes, every one does, but power struggles get you nowhere but anger and resentment. It’s you two against the world. You have to be a team and it should be fairly balanced. Trust, love, commitment partnership. You’re 100% right.
SAME...AGREED. I had some lessons of my own to learn during my marriage.
You said what I was thinking. You are partners neither one should be ruler.
that's where you have a Good Man who loves his wife,A Good woman who is submissive to her husband and they are loyal to each other.
@@mtcheung2637 the man is the leader,and the woman follows. that creates peace and order.
My wife doesn't rule me but she does know my faults so her advice is the most important to me and honest.
Whew! Glad I found a sane voice in this comments section...I was beginning to worry😂. I've been married to my husband for 12 years, together for 14 and I tell him his faults ALL THE TIME. He does the same. We work together to make each other BETTER.
The woman is the man’s greatest counsel and a real man will respect her as such but she also has to know her place in letting him lead and be that man.
If a woman can be supportive to her husband, he can be supportive to his wife.
👏🏾👏🏾
starts with the head
@@kamiliachadli It's the other way around actually.
@@CaptainSazzmanThank you for saying it. Real men, leave alone chads, are extremely rare nowadays.
Not necessarily. If anyone is married to a spoiled and selfish person, she/he will also resist every suggestion not matter how supportive you are. People enter marriage with the attitude - "no one will change me" - but it's even worse that they themselves are not aware that any relationship requires us to change, to become more responsible, tolerant, better. If someone thinks je/she is perfect or doesn't want to contribute, they will resist. This doesn't mean that it is a "real man" or a "real woman".
I'm 60 years old and have been married for 41 years. My advise for a married couple is... Never accept marriage advice from a stranger on the Internet.
Well this is good advice lmao
This lady gave good advice for a marriage. Pretty obvious what's good and what's bad advice. You're wrong.
@@pecker1217 - So how long have you been married? And no I don't expect "good" anything from someone with the avatar of "pecker" on the internet.
Well said Nialcc lol
😂😂😂 yes
A real man does not compromise his values. At the same time he is not overly proud to change to become a better human being.
Your spouse is like a mirror. When you look into the mirror you will see any imperfections and you have an opportunity to groom yourself appropriately. Don't break the mirror if you don't like what you see.
@@remessingerthat is... very profound. I like this statement.
100% - I had to learn what this woman was saying. My husband and I had so many problems in the beginning, come to realize I was a larger portion of it and had to change myself and the way I handled things and wouldn’t you know it…. He started changing too and we have both conformed to each other more and have genuinely become “one” with each other. We are stronger than ever and honestly happier than I could ever have imagined.
@@alexandrapowell2564
Blessings to you and your family
And what does a "REAL" woman do?
Happily married for almost 19 years... Trust me:
Do what works for YOU & YOUR household‼️
The problem in marriage is expecting from the partner instead of expecting from yourself. Play your part and allow the other person to play their part.
So true!!!
That part
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Yes !!!!!!!!!
Play what part ain't no part to play this is not a game or something play a role in this aint role play get it right
True… a real man will also listen and consider his wife’s concerns. To excuse a man brushing off his wife isn’t good… but if he’s considering her in his decisions and working through life with her, while still holding his own, then he is a strong man indeed.
A biblical man seeks to understand his wife and please her. But there's a balance. As a woman I understand how stubborn I am and sometimes I want everything my way. If I respect that my man has the final decision things often work out better than if I'd pushed. His final decision comes after he listens and understands mine. But he still might not agree and if I push that's when the fighting happens. I respect that he doesn't submit to me just because it'll make me happy. If he does I end up unhappy half the time anyways!! 😂
@@MewluMoon Chapter,Verse please
Depends on what specifically you mean by brushing off. A man always considers her in his decisions. But her ideas are often rejected because she isnt aligned with reason. And doesnt see the full picture. Women have to lear to accept a no.
@@MewluMoon In case you didn't understand what I wrote: She(the wife) often isn't in alignment with reason(meaning doesn't think logically thus acts on her emotions). A wife Really thinking that she is right, doesn't give her the right to override her husband's final decision. The wife is to submit and support her husband even if she doesn't feel like it.
Yes. I heard about marriage, it is an institution of God. A publicly declared oath and bond between a man and a woman. A union with a hierarchy. The man is the head of the woman and God is the head of the man. A line of command and authority is as follows: the man follows God and the woman follows the man. The man is the head of the woman as Jesus is the head of the church. The church doesn't argue with Jesus but submits to his authority.
The man was created first and the woman was created for the man.
And my comment asking for the chapter and verse referred specifically to what you said: " The Bible says to work out your differences not that His VIEW and voice matters more" or something among these lines.
The Bible clearly states that wifes are to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord. Sara, Abraham's wife even called him Lord.
The Bible teaches patriarchy. Which doesn't mean hating women or devaluing them but to treat them like the weaker vessel, loving, protecting and providing for them by leading. This is a great responsibility for men till death, and women nagging their husbands makes it even harder. You saying and thinking like you are is wrong (they sometimes push this agenda in making a woman feel like she has no voice except his). All a husband wants is to do his duty. A husband doesn't want to make you feel like you don't have a voice at all(you just think that because your request was not granted). The man must see the bigger picture and is 10 steps in front of you when he plans something and when you want to modify the plan it's not always in the family's best interest to do as you suggested.
@@MewluMoon Yes that passage of Colossians speaks about how to behave and be to each others as christians. The context is church, not family. There are other texts in the Bible that are specifically about the family and the roles of men women and children in the family.
My husband is stubborn as hell, but he takes my opinions into account and he will admit when he's wrong, even if it takes him a minute. He's a wonderful partner.
My husband is stubborn AND a yeller! He can't reasonably discuss anything that makes him uncomfortable. Count your blessings.
@@leslieh761 Run girl. RUN!
I love this!! This is exactly how it should be!!
Blah blah blah neither. A Great Grown woman!!😂 PERIOT.
no he's just a little manchild who doesn't value you, your opinions and your humanity 😂
I’ve been with my husband almost 21 amazing years, we are soul mates, perfect for each other. We are committed, understanding, loving and the biggest thing is compromise it’s definitely not a struggle! X
Respect each other! It's not about whose the alpha it's about growing together as one and inspiring each other as an individual. Real couple don't argue about whose right or wrong it's about being open with different perspectives & applying which one would be beneficial in terms of using one's method. So many variables are in-touch in relationship. Find that balance to create the harmonious relationship. Connect through spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Learn each others morals & values. Anyways, have a great day!✌️
A real man also listens to his woman and acknowledges her needs
*before you reply*
- I never said wives should not submit to their husbands. I said "also," not "but."
- This comment may sound obvious, but many people don't acknowledge this part and live unhappy marraiges.
- Yes, I am actually married. If you're not, do not pretend you have authority in this matter.
- This idea is biblical, see Ephesians 5:25 (NIV) “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." And many more verses on marraige.
- I've been called a feminist. I am not a modern day feminist, but Jesus was one of the first to treat women as equal to men. Definitely different, but equal in value.
true.....sometimes women do have meaning insights.....and we listen and consider......and sometimes women are on b.s. and get ignored. it's up to the man to decide.
A real man leads his woman and makes the tough decisions.
@@pecker1217 That might work in your relationship, but in many relationships couples make decisions together and rely on eachother for support.
@jonthomson9262 I think some men forget that they are in a relationship *together* and a decision isn't serving the relationship if it doesn't serve *both* parties. It completely depends on the context of the situation though. If my husband told me to drop everything and move across the country without talking to me first, we would have an issue. But if he wanted to take up a new hobby, I would not really have a say in that. At the same time, I also expect him to support me if I wanted to take up anew hobby of my own. Those are on the extreme ends and very simplified, but what I'm saying is that *it goes both ways.*
That part!
There's a thin line between a real man, and a narcissist. It's important to know the difference.😏
Yes a GENUINE GENTLEMAN IS A RARE TREASURE IN THESE TIMES
The diff is the non narcissist will not do to you what they see is insulting to be done to them. My impression the man on the other side of her example is not the non narcissist type and that “older lady” is feeding this woman a bag of 💩
@@nadiaoak5123 she uplifting her husband while I bet he got a girlfriend on the side telling him what to do and when to do it.
Woosaah if this isn’t true!?!
❤❤
I'm married for 20 years and I can tell you division of roles is important so we can held each other Accountable. My wive pay for bond and buy groceries and school fees and I manage the household, making sure we live in clean safe environment and support her in her career so she can focus. We happy till today.
Different strokes for different folks. As long as it works for y'all - it's beautiful.
Yeah, and a woman is not a doormat for a man to wipe his feet on. A man is a decision maker, not arguing that, but he must make decisions beneficial for BOTH him and his wife. Not considering the wife’s wishes and concerns is a sin.
And often the women doesnt know what is in fact bennefitial and is commanded to submit to her husband. Even when you think you are right and he is wrong.
@@Rafael-gn7cr I think those are the women that YOU surround yourself with. Plenty of women are filled with wisdom and do in fact know what's beneficial for themselves.
@@kenya4341 You think wrong. I know wise women too but in general almost all even in the church are heavily influenced by feminism and you guys don't even realize until someone points it out. But the response is not ok I will read the Bible and submit to it's teaching but something like this: NOO that's not what the Bible says. When it literally says it all throughout.
@@Rafael-gn7cr Yes the Bible commands the wife to submit to the husband. It however doesn't say that women do not know what is beneficial to them. Men are not perfect and it's within a woman's right to speak up if she perceives a decision has been made without her best interests at heart.
@@Rafael-gn7cr you don’t need to think so low of us. Most of us ain’t stupid.
A real man isn’t abusive. Emotionally mentally or physically. A real man knows Christ. Knows love.
Amen!💯🎯💕
And will listen to his Godly wife
Wait… who said anything about abuse? Try sticking with the topic.
@@michaelmmcpherson3633 lol. Don’t prove the point now. I say that cause that also needs to be said in a message as this. Women and children are already vulnerable naturally. So let’s be clear.
@@elizabethdemeree8410 You don’t get to determine what she NEEDS to say. She alone determines that. You remind me of so many Christians who call themselves running around trying to fix folks instead of leading by example.
You are spot on with this point! My daddy told me along time ago “ If you cannot respect a man, then leave him alone “ I can’t leave my husband alone after 9 years of marriage 😇♥️
A real woman doesn't just take constant criticism and disapproval and lack of acceptance either and this will cause rebellion, I know this was my story and I took it for years and years, decades and my daughter was also a target for this type of abuse from a narcissistic personality.
A real man may not be ruled by a woman, but a real woman will not allow herself to be dominated by a man's inconsistencies, non transparency and unwillingness to keep to principle. A real women will assert her boundaries with the expectation that her boundaries will be respected.
Hallelujah
It's interesting how you used MAY NOT in the case of a man and WILL NOT in the case of the woman. Hm
she WILL NOT! I love this
Is it okay if a real man is ruled by another real man? Im jsut wondering 😂
@@allylondon9579 No one rules anyone. You do have to respect authority but only God rules every individual.
As a husband of 38 years and a father to a daughter, I'll add something:
There may be a lot of things in your lives together that real man doesn't care to "be the boss of" and will gladly allow you to make the decisions about them. Just because he's complacent with your decisions on many things doesn't mean he's a pushover. Make note of the things he does take a stand on.
Exactly. We'll put.
Perfectly said. 💯
Now that’s a real man comment. Noted! ❤🙏
This was well said, thank you.
That's refreshing, it's a subtle way of approving your decision and highlighting your strength.
AMEN , PROTECT THIS WOMAN
With a heart full of joy i thank you Dr oluwaseun for restoring my relationship again with the chants, you're the only sincere one l've seen❤😊
He’s on Facebook
A real man will invite constructive criticism and ask what you need. That's what a caring person in a relationship does.
A real woman knows how to shut the fu k up and listen! Stop saying what a real man is when A: you’re not a man and B: you ain’t got a man! 😂😂😂😂
There's nothing constructive from negativity... positive encouragement is the way because that man will criticize you too and won't support you
@@Tippy2forU i turned a negative to positive and that went right over your head how can you have a conversation centered from criticism which comes from a negative vibration buts it's good to know you know what a real man does and is...
How long have you ladies been married or with a longtime partner
@@bronzebomber814 over 10 years, that is why I agree with what she said.......not the OP.
Nobody should be "ruling" anyone in a marriage/relationship.
It's a partnership
Exactly. Her statement works both ways.
@@acnacn1861 Not according to the Bible.
@@ambermyers2724 No it doesn't. Y'all are worldly so this message doesn't even apply to you.
@@nostalgicbliss5547
Nobody cares about that fairytale book.
There is an old school term for this. Its "know your role". Sounds like you received some Godly advise from a woman of wisdom. I'm sure your marriage will prosper.
A real man knows what constructive criticism is. A real woman will challenge her man to be better and do better. All of that can be done with love and respect from both parts.
Would a real man challenge his woman to be better and do better? Cause I’m telling you right now that wouldn’t fly it would open up there gates of hell. And if a man is doing everything he should be doing as a man the last thing he wants to hear is how he could be doing better that’s ridiculous.
Constructive criticism can come from a male friend or brother or father figure, not from his wife.
@@NahMan619 it would if she was emotionally intelligent. if she easily flies off the handle it means you aren’t emotionally intelligent enough to notice the flags or stay away from the flags. Therapy really help, I’m in therapy and it’s amazing.
@@roxywyndham I agree but at the same time it’s sounds like you’re pointing the blame towards someone for not “noticing red flags” instead of holding the person with the red flags accountable. So if a women gets beat by her man is it her fault for not noticing the red flags? I don’t like that argument
@@susang5445 why NOT? What are we? Some lower species whose opinion isn’t as valid as from another male? How is his supposed brother supposed to know what problems he may have in his marriage?
It's called respect and it goes both ways!
Correct
Men respecting their wives is not the problem. Entitled women who want to wear the pants at all times is the problem. 50% divorce rate makes it clear that aggressive feminism is relationship poison
submission does nt and that is what we are talking here not respect
No. Listen to her again.
@@privacyviolated583 now you understand what she was saying unlike all these (it's about communication) people
Past few days I have reflected on a potential partner and the implications. I realized that a man who really knows who he is and walks in his authority can be intimidating. I never thought this man was a pushover .. but I also didn’t really know how … how intense he was . And not in a legalistic way .. but in a passionate way. I can be very playful or just play stupid to dodge serious matters or responsibility but you know when you meet someone you can’t toy with and will hold you accountable and expect a lot from you . Probably because 1. They know their worth 2. They want to see you come higher in your walk with God , identity , and purpose .
GOD IS GOOD! You lady, were given advice from wisdom!
Women really sign themselves up to be 2nd class citizens in their own home. How about the both of you communicate and respect eachother so no one would feel pushed over? An adult isn't going to "rebel" they are going to properly communicate how they feel and proceed to doing what makes them happy.
He’s a toddler. They’ve exchanged the phrase ‘toddler’ with ‘real man’ & it has been done to coddle his feelings.
Nobody is a second class citizen in a relationship that is based on genuine love. Every home needs a leader. You can’t have two captains in a ship otherwise the ship wrecks. You decide if you want to be the leader then ask for your man’s support. Alternatively you allow your man be the leader that God made him to be anyway and give him your support. It’s entirely up to you.
This like why are we referring to grown men like teenagers?? You should not be "rebeling" like a child as an adult. These women walk on the thinnest of egg shells around these "trad" men. Oh well.. their choice.
@@puffball4484 I don't agree with the second class citizen things but he's a toddler for real.
Thanks for calling it out
A man listens, considers, and decides.
When he's single.
@@makinka0cp no when he’s married.
This.
So do women 😂
That part
When she described the “older lady”
as “just past 40” 😳😂😂😂
She is so pretty. I wish her all the best in her marriage. Love her locs.
I recommend you guys to dr iseghehi. He is the best you can find on RUclips when it comes to love spell that works...
Lol Ive been married 40 years & a REAL MAN is secure enough to treat his wife like a Queen. We are a best friends. Its all about respect appreciation & acceptance.
What you're saying and what she's saying aren't mutually exclusive. Someone can be loving and have boundaries. I'm sure your loving husband isn't a push over or those 40 years have been happier for you than they have been for him. I have seen many many many "happy" homes where the peace is kept because the husband has completely been dominated by his wife, ever heard of happy wife happy life? Anyway, I'm just saying, what you're saying and what she's saying are both important. A marriage where the man is not loving or a marriage where the man has no backbone are both usually pretty unhappy.
@@myyoutubeaccount12111 Yeah I understand your point. I know different generations here, ages. I never nag or henpeck my husband never needed to, we had a very rough time first 20 years we had totally different upbringing etc... we became friends and always treasured that. We come from a generation that would rather fix things than just get a new one. I realize everyone's different. Was just speaking about our situation.
@@misslin1717 so happy for you both. ❤️❤️
Then treat him like a king.
The more I look at marriage videos the more confused I get. I have decided to take care of my mental health and choose my peace because we are all adults and can take care of our own needs.
I’ve been married to a narcissist for over a decade and am now with a real man. I’ve learned real man is a gentleman and there is no need for either partner to try to dominate the other. A real man focuses on love, understanding and making sure his marriage/ family is not in strife. A real woman does the same.
💯💯💯💯
Can you provide a clinical diagnosis for the guy with narcissism? Or is it just your buzz word for lack of accountability
@@Ashley-ct4nf
Excatly
Narcissist, abuse , toxic😂
I mean , I'm very glad it's working out for her❤ it's not an equal partnership , it'll never be . Stroke a man's ego equally to his dik.
I can't thank you enough DR OLUWASEUN for the spell you casted for me🥺❤️ I will forever be grateful😇
He’s on Facebook page…
That's true but some of them don't hold up😊 on their promises to help a woman when she needs him and let that woman carry the full bag 💯
A real woman is also not a pushover or a door mat,
but she NEEDS to learn to SUBMIT...i an 26 years in & marriage can be a truly beautiful thing if BOTH parties follow God's word. my husband loves me as Christ LOVES the church & so it is very easy to submit to such a man!!
Ain't that the truth....We must communicate and agree to disagree... It is ok😊
Preach now sister 😂
Big facts .🎉
@@arleenenunes5833 husband and wife submit to each other.
A real man will serve and receive guidance
One ear and out the other.
Real Men are to lead, real women are to respect and follow a man's leadership
@@solomonjones908no they're right
@@solomonjones908lead by example though.... not boss the woman around. And if you are setting a loving example a woman will have no problem having respect and being submissive.
@@solomonjones908only if they know how to
Well, my husband and I had a conversation regarding his lack of motivation and not keeping his word regarding following up on job opportunities within his own workplace (especially since we have a baby on the way). We talked for a long time. It got deep. Childhood stuff came up. Ever since then hes been working everyday on his certification and is now prepared to take his exams. And now im going back to school, God willing. Couples, dont be afraid to gently, lovingly but firmly call each other out, then support each other in doing better and getting out of ruts and unhealthy patterns. May God keep you all!
Everybody talks about needing a submissive woman, or a sensitive man. But a good marriage is built on people who work together. A good partner respects, supports, and will give you a reality check. You are both working for the same goals. It’s teamwork.
Sounds good but doesn't work that way
Exactly, but you have too many podcast hustlers stirring up drama and clicks for profit. People need to wake up and see that it's literally a hustle. They're called grifters.
A real man should lead, and the woman should follow, it has been like this for thousands of years, why change?
@@MrGengad Well said! What needs to be taught from a young age is discipline. Males should be disciplined in being hard workers, strong, consistent, warriors, problem solvers, hunter-gatherers providing provisions and safety for their tribes (communities), females and children. Females should be taught discipline in keeping their egos and mouths in check, being respectful and caring for the males and children by providing a warm and healthy home environment. Men should maximize their masculine nature, tempered with love and respect and females should maximize their feminine nature tempered with love and respect. We need to emphasize the wonderous and amazing differences and not the similarities. We are NOT the same!
@@metalroofing6708 Media told them so many lies to women, you can be (independent) and you don't need a man. Really? Then worship your career and die alone with no family around you. Real man is what you described above. I need peace in my territory, talk back and argument should be at work and not at home. There is reason why many men are traveling abroad to get married.
We need more context. If he's doing bad behaviour and you're confronting him about it and he gets sour, that's not a " real man" that's someone who doesn't care about how his actions affect you. Be careful dear.
Yeah what she describes sounds like more like a childish man...
bad behavior according to your opinion.
@@jonthomson9262 good and bad are objective truths provided by God and so is our internal compass which allows us to measure what is good and bad. So , no, not my opinion.
❤❤❤❤❤love ur thoughts
This is a good video I can say I didn’t do this when we were down financially but now I absolutely understand because even as he is working because exhausted from all shift I have to be something he can hold on to.
A real man is not controlling, he’s gentle and empathetic and equal in listening and talking.
Any successful relationship consists of two people who respect each other.
❤❤❤❤
Any person becomes human when he respects his fellow humans whether male or female. That’s not the argument, you don’t want to be submissive wife say that proudly and never go to church. You are not Christian and live the way you are
RESPECT is VITAL ❤️✝️😇
I’m Christain and agree with you 100%
GOD setup the natural order of the family. Respect was already there because you accepted the marriage proposal. History disagrees with your statement Abraham is the head and Sarah is his helpmate. Respect between Abraham and Sarah did not have to be discussed when he went out into the desert. My parents have respect for each other however , my Dad led the household and my mom was the helpmate.
Speaking as the daughter of a stubborn man, my mom has put up with so much of his pride and eccentric ego... he's never made positive choices or valued her input. Her patience only wore thin the more he refised to value her. So respect HAS ro go both ways.
This is my mother too. I saw it first hand growing up and knew I don’t want to marry a man like my father.
Thats truly said, many ppl are witnessing horrible examples of marriage. I pray ppl man or woman wait on the Lord for their other half 🙏🏾
That is such a difficult situation. It is sad to I think there are some men beyond help like that, but it’s equally true that women don’t always know how to talk to a husband about stuff. How to explain things biblically without beating him over the head with a Bible. How to teach him things in a way that he wants to receive it. And in more extreme situation’s, how to say “I love you but I’m not putting up with that because (and then have a really good reason for it).“ The Bible talks about women who nag their husbands, drip drip drip, as a negative thing. But it’s amazing how relationships can improve when the wife is continually dripping good and positive things into her husband’s ears. Most husbands are not going to sit down and read a book on relationship skills. But if you start to point things out to them in a convivial or entertaining way, they learn from that. They love it when you notice the things that are good about them and tell them about it. When you do that, they’re more likely to want to please you. If there is a behavior you never want to see from your husband and it’s displayed by someone you both know, you can talk about it with him in the third person, like “did you notice when Jon talk like that to his kid? I couldn’t believe it! What do you think he hoped to get out of that wave talking to him? His kid looks so hurt, and then . Some people just don’t realize the effect of their words.“ and voilà, if you choose the right situation that doesn’t hit too close to home, a little educational moment can happen. He will instinctively not want to be that kind of a dad. But I think you have to start with things that are not a big trigger if you’ve got a really stubborn man on your hands. I think for some people, stubbornness is a shield of protection covering up a hurt. For others it might simply be a natural trait of their personality. There’s always a positive side to every negative personality trait. For stubbornness it might be persistence. Taking the time to admire the persistence and gradually introducing the idea that every trait has a bad flipside like stubbornness without hearing things out can be next. Using a sense of humor when you catch them being stubborn about something kind of stupid and giving in with a loving sense of humor about it is another good strategy. Being open and loving as much as possible, and deciding not to be hurt by stuff, deciding to be at peace inside of yourself even when others are having issues… That is powerful. There are tons of stories of how couples with a completely different personality types can both get into trouble with each other and Find their way out of conflict with patience and humor and acceptance.
@@bitrudder3792 it's not just stubbornness, it's pride in his stubbornness. He gave up on classes because he didn't like his teachers. He gave up on work because he didn't want a boss. He gave up on church because everyone else but he and a few scholars had the wrong view of the end times. He's very insecure about his failures in life but still sees himself as the sick kid who was exceptionally bright. So masks his inferiority complex with a superiority complex. And then complains he has to do all the house work and then yells at my mom for doing the dishes the wrong way. He has openly admitted he doesn't love her.
@@ohifonlyx33 - so painful and so sad. Life is full of challenges like that and I sometimes wonder why I am able to get through to some people like that and see growth and maturity happened. And it makes me wonder about other people who grew up in the same family are still in the same negative place because they didn’t marry people who could love them and communicate effectively with them to help them get to a better place. On the other hand, some people are so broken that I think it takes an intervention from God to break through.
I can only imagine how painful it would be to hear my dad tell my mom that he didn’t love her. I’m pretty old now, no, and my first reaction would be to say “OK, thanks for being honest. But seriously, are you going to make everybody’s life miserable because you can’t keep a promise? Because no matter what you’ve been through, he made a promise to love and cherish and care for mom till death do you part. I don’t see you doing your part of the job. If mom isn’t doing her part of the job, y’all should talk about it and fix it. Love is a choice, dad. You have to choose to do it because no one feels like they love other people all of the time. And if you want to know what it looks like, read first Corinthians chapter 13. And do it.“ That’s me Bible something a little bit. Depending on the person I might or might not say that in that way. But that’s the fact of the matter, isn’t it? People choose to be hurt and people choose to be happy, but sometimes they need a lot of help to get there to the happy part. And sometimes they Break relationships and repeat a problem until they figure it out and make a change. But it is beautiful when they change happens. It’s even more beautiful when they can make the change without breaking up their first family. Set boundaries are needed. The foundation of the relationship needs to be truth. A man’s refusal to look at the pain that led to his current behavior, and the pain he is causing others, is usually what breaks up the family. But keeping it together reinforces patterns. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve seen beautiful smart young Women very manipulative bad boys because they’re more comfortable with someone like their dad.
I’m only 20 and live in a Mission that✝️ helps me get closer to the father and I already gain a lot of future references and advice and inspiration from you who’s a older women In faith. So blessed thank you for saying those things and thank you father . 💓
I wish every woman could hear these words. You speak the truth.
"I will follow you, but not off a cliff....."
That's a statement from a real woman!💯
Correct! That part!
I like that!
EXACTLY! I've been married to a real man for 38 years and he knows I was given to him (by God) for a reason. The best advice about being married came from my thrice married rollingstone side piece having dad as we were preparing to walk dow the aisle. One sentence..."Let your husband be the man that he is." I felt that. I understood that. He knew that I could be a bit much sometimes and he called me out on it right before he handed me over to him. ❤
If he leads you "off a cliff" you pick the wrong man. Choose right the right man and you won't have to worry.
A real man won’t lead you off a cliff
30 yrs ago a colleague said the secret to his long marriage was that they gave themselves to each other and each always put the other first.
A woman who doesn’t punish simping is an intelligent woman, which is probably less than 1% of the female population. The average man has to improvise 😂
@@-Clarence-
An intelligent woman would know that a simp is of no real value
How does that work in reality? There are chores and bills and kids and school and sports and doctors appointments and dental appointments and eye doctor appointments. You needed more details in order have any insight in to that relationship.
@@roblane5699 really? Free money, unlimited love and a comfortable lifestyle is of no value to her? Plenty of guys will take a girl who simps for him any day. If you want a difficult woman you do you
@Clarence That word is for people with no true morals. You can't grow with a man without being able to call him out and work out the problems together. Anyone who accepts worship from a simp has huge insecurity issues.
I'm 62. I'm an older lady. 40 is still young. But back to the issue. Men and women need to be concentrating on how to build up finances so that they can retire earlier than age 65-70. Enough money to buy and pay off a home by age 55. Enough money to put you children through college without depending on student loans, scholarships, etc. Young people concentrate too much on emotions and who's controlling whom. All that mess doesn't matter really. What matters is putting your minds together for financial stability. Life goes by quickly. We really don't have time for a bunch of emotional foolishness. PS I am a former stockbroker/financial advisor with Morgan Stanley.
Sounds like this older woman has a ton of wisdom and I would never forget her words 👏
To me, a real man is abt respect, boundaries, disciplined and responsible. I hope to find one in the future.
Girl, take your time in your quest. Please
Use discernment and wisdom. Too much Andrew Tate disciples out there
What's abt?
You find one easily in USA
If you wait like the comments say you'll be single in your 40's
@@Ziggyhere57 hahaha
Husbands must understand that wives are not maids or objects of their subjection. Equal respect brings" perfect" marriage.
Exactly. Humans are s l o w s l o w, smh.
AMEN!!!!!
Exactly. As long as we have these archaic mindsets out there, nothing is going to get better. I have NO DESIRE to rule anyone but I also have no desire to be ruled either. Why does he have to rule? No one wants to be subjugated nor dominated. A real man sees his wife as his partner. She's that "four eyes are better than two", "two minds are better than one". We are humans with hopes, dreams, aspirations and desires just like he has. Together, we can have an awesome household and we can ALWAYS negotiate. Because of the woman I am, if we wouldn't hit a stalemate because I'd defer to his desire over mine because I know he's also considering the best for our family. I'm not going to sit there in silence while he spends our mortgage payments on the latest Playstation. A real man has no desire to "rule over a woman" either.
@@q.t.gamingfamily PREACH!!!!! Have you ever dealt with women in those type churches? Bitter. Suspicious. Low-key angry all the time. Don't like women who are not dominated by their husband. Why all these? Because they are grown women who have to submit to being treated like a child and ruled over like they are a hostage or slave or maid. Period! Bam!
@@fayc1804 I was ONE OF THEM! I was so miserable and revered all at the same time. My ex and I have 12 children and the church was so proud of this large intact black family! In the mean time, all that crap was happening at home. You know what pastor said? I must've SAID SOMETHING to deserve the treatment I was getting! Fuq that church. I left the church and my husband both. I'm much happier too. My hair grew to the middle of my back, I went from 302# to 158#, my house and car are paid off, I graduated college THREE TIMES! Girl, can I say I'm SHOWING OUT! And those two? Dead, both of them. Their demons did that; not me. 🤷🏿♀️
Nobody shouldn't be ruling over each other
You said it all . Nothing more to add . Can’t love enough for this . ❤️
It is interesting how she is justifying her husband's childish behavior (rebellion), by calling him a real man. How about a "real man" is someone who is mature enough to see his partner as a partner and not an inferior being.
Hahaha...that's not a real man 😂
You are twisting her words to suit yourself
I think you took a real leap with this comment. At no point did this woman mention being treated as inferior. What her comments do suggest is that she was trying to treat him as such and he wasn't having it. I swear many people can listen to the same thing and only a few will hear what's really going on.
😂😂😂😂 that part. Sounds like a child. But ok. Lol
Man is built by god to be the head of the household. Now folks that don’t believe in god. And live life by the worlds standards can do what ever they want. And see all of the rotten fruits of their behaviors. But any women that believes in god and calls herself a Christian is suppose to be submitting to her husband. Allowing him to lead her and make final decisions over the family and the household. And any women that actually lives this way with her husband knows how rewarding it is for both of you. And how much more peaceful and happy it makes your relationship. There is a reason that the divorce rate is over 50% in our nation right now. And it was no where near that number when our grandparents where young. And it is because back then, people knew their god given roles in marriage. And when you follow gods guidelines, everything actually works how it is suppose to. Let your husband lead. Men require respect. It’s built into them. Women require respect also, but we function more off of the love of our spouse. That’s why god told women to respect and submit to their husbands. And he told husbands to love their wife’s as Christ loves the church.
This is how I got to submit to a “real man“ little did I know I was being love bombed by a narcissist and when he got me a point of allowing feminine energy to completely consume me, devaluation started and closely followed by silent treatment/discard.
Are you guys christian?
Yall were married?
Then he's not a real man
@@theropesofrenovation9352 that’s why it’s in quotes, Captain Obvious
Well he wasn’t a real man sweetie
FINALLY!!!!!!!! A REAL OLD BLACK WOMAN CHECK A immature younger BLACK GIRL.
My friend says. His wife's the boss. But he's in charge! Lovely couple. Got it all together.
Common sense understands that people will not tolerate disrespect or being disparaged. My parents never had power struggles or decision issues. They truly lived extraordinarily harmoniously so I didn’t grow up having any thought about power struggles or designated roles until I eventually dated a couple of guys who were jealous and began trying to subtly cut me down here and there thinking they could dominate me. I never witnessed domineering traits in my home. Both my parents were so easy going. If I found myself involved with a guy who thought he could instill a sense of self doubt in me through criticism I would just stop taking their calls and they never knew what happened. I won’t engage with or endure game players who are insecure and have no self esteem or confidence. Love, respect and regard should by reciprocal because they’re imperative to a healthy stable marriage. This is NOT a gender issue. All people, especially spouses, require esteem and respect from their partners. It’s not even necessary to point out the obvious.
THIS!!🎯🎯🎯. Your parents masculine and feminine energy sound balanced within themselves, therefore they were able to flow together harmoniously.
This is the ultimate goal.
So many people think the man is supposed to dominate with masculine energy, while suppressing a female so she can be feminine and submit😅, not understanding both energies are within themselves and they are completely responsible for balancing within themselves and not dominating another.
I completely love your explanation. People are so far from this understanding that it's ridiculous, but you are right.
Your parents seem to have a reciprocal loving happy relationship.
Too many people won't do the inner work to balance their own energies, so they look for control over someone else to fill the void.
Your comment was the best
@@thealchemist333 All respect to to sexual energy and complementarity, but I just think she bumped up in a lot of people with some seriouse unsolved issues and are mentally and emotionally totaly messed up... To bad she ghosted them without setting thing streight verbally: those guys missed a great lesson!
@@daniby9894 masculine and feminine energy is not about sexuality. It comes from one of the governing mental laws called the law of gender, and it has to do with the mind not the body. So yeah, if someone is "mentally messed up" there is an imbalance
Conmen sense yet insightful because so many people come from broken homes. They don’t know what unconditional love looks like between husband & wife. Thank you for sharing.
If we could put this on a t-shirt. Nobody got time to feed the ego of a broken person while they attempt to kill your self esteem and devalue you. 👏🏾
A real man is a leader by default. No woman will rule over him but they will work together as a true team.
FALSE
I guess most males aren’t real
U couldn’t nor any Man U know COULDNT have led Harriet Tubman
The world is N trouble bcuz MALES don’t have women cheQing their work
Correct. Women are too emotional to be good leaders, the man brings balance to the relationship.
Well said💯💯💯💯💯
@@Clambaked070preach
Exactly bro. I don't need a woman to be submissive or masculine. I need a woman to be cooperative and work along with me but know when to accept my lead.
Notice how everyone in the comments can list out what a “real man” should do for his woman, i bet 90% of those people don’t know the first thing about what a woman should do for his man,i bet most of ya’ll don’t even believe she should cook for her “real man”
I recommend you guys to dr iseghehi. He is the best you can find on RUclips when it comes to love spell that works...
The difference is, this young woman was willing to listen to an older woman who also was willing to tell another woman the truth. This isn't easy to come across. Glad to see it can happen
Am so sick and tired of people explaining what a “real man” is and indirectly telling women to shut the hell up and do whatever their man says.
Lmao that was a polite way to say “stay in a women’s place” “I don’t have to listen to you” 😂 yea I’ll pass on that ‘real man’
And that “real man” will pass on you. Think about all the things you want in a man, now ask yourself if he wants to deal with someone that constantly has an issue or is never satisfied with anything. Do you want a man to lead or follow your lead? Cause I’m telling you right now being “equal” in a relationship is fancy terms for a man that keeps his mouth shut as to not upset his woman and some men will do that because they have limited options but ones with actually value would gladly move along. Woman expect men to have all these qualities like being a provider and a protector but woman don’t want to give what men look for in woman. It’s a case of you get what you give. It works both ways if you’re a man and can’t provide and protect your family nobody is gonna want to be with a man that can’t do those things and if you’re a woman that can’t provide and always have an issue, nobody wants to care for someone that can never be satisfied and always has to argue
@@NahMan619so you have a problem with men keeping their mouths shut and doing whatever their wives say but not the other way around? You can acknowledge that that’s not healthy in a way but don’t care when a woman is being subjected to that treatment. I don’t want to parent or be parented in my relationship. A man not wanting to be constructively criticized is a man that wishes to get away with toxic behavior and treat his wife awfully. Everyday I wake up and have to read things like this and it makes me disgusted by men little by little.
@@Waituntilyoulikemeagain Little by little, don't you mean a lot by a lot! Paranoid much?🤣
@@QuadriviumNumbers yes, I sure do 🥰
As a real man this is spot on
Love it. I'm sharing this with my wife...
When my parents ask me why I refuse to get married, I'm gonna send them this video.
😂😂😂😂😂
Facts 😂😂😂
Too many betas, or not enough betas. Find and embrace Jesus and you will see the value in a traditional marriage and the righteous path will be clear.
Why? Everybody marriage is different, and if you consult God about your marriage you will be okay.....
@@carlashelton7682 She's only joking.
Is the implication that a husband getting advice from his wife makes him less than a real man or a pushover?
I thank God that I have a husband who values my opinion and suggestions and takes them into thorough consideration when making decisions for our family.
He's very real and masculine and doesn't pretend to know-it-all to feel secure in himself.
Where's the contradiction?
Well said!
I wonder how many of you would do in reading comprehension tests.
If he refuses to be a pushover, doesn't it mean that someone is actually trying to push him over?
Now tell me, is listening to advice _being a pushover?_
@@el7284 the irony in your comment
I don't think that's what she meant at all
That is beautiful advice! Perfect advice to drive modern gals up the wall of anger!
Paul is addressing born-again christain couples within the church. I'll share what God utilizes Paul to convey to the christain husband and wife here... 😮Colossians 3:19...
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
1Peter 3:3:7...
Likewise. husbands, love with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Ephesians 5:33...
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ephesians 5:21...
Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Paul addresses another dynamic concerning married couples in 1 Corinthians 7:12-24, for further exploration. Here he is not speaking about a christain who knowingly marries an unbeliever. This is called being unequally yoked...2 Corinthians 6:14.
John 3:16❤
Such counterintuitive advice... Here's to many years of unhappiness and Narcissistic abuse, if you take this advice 🥂
A “real” man cares about his partner and wants them to be happy and feel equal and respected in the relationship. He does not have to rule over her like she is a possession or a slave to him.
She shouldn't rule over him either.
Your dad is responsible to make you happy. A man has to love his wife and love isn't romance everyday, . Men are responsible for their children's happiness
No one said that 🤣
@@ptking5095 what rubbish. It’s a partnership or else it’s a business transaction.
Are you married?
She said older, to say older than her, because 40 damn sure isn't old, BUT a REAL WOMAN will also not allow herself to be ruled by a man. It's a balance of the feminine and the masculine FIRST within ones self, then in union with your companion. Noone in a marriage should be ruling anyone else but themselves.
Amen
The feminine is submissive, the masculine is a leader. So what you’re saying makes zero sense
This woman in this video is a Christian and chooses to live her life through biblical principles. What you're saying cannot apply to her if she is truly a Godly woman.
Joice that's absolutely correct 💯 she saved your relationship and your marriage by listening to her advice that was absolutely a blessing to listen to her...
Thank God she has the courage to speak the truth as it is a rarity today. Thanks for sharing!
Marriage is a partnership, not one person "ruling"
over the other, and respect goes both ways, you have to give respect to your husband/wife to get respect. Both husband and wife serve each other like Christ served his disciples and is serving us today.
🎯
Ma'am, a marriage is not a partnership. A wife is a servant.
EXACTLY!!!
@@victorybee3006 massive?
Amen and Amen
The comment section did not disappoint. Good job everyone. Communication is key 🔐 💕
Yeah I was honestly relieved
u ever thank the white man for giving u the freedom u enjoy today???
This is not communication ❤️🙏🏽❤️❤️❤️this is the pure lack of respect for his wife 🙏🏽❤️ by not coming together as husband and wife ❤️🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️❤️ she is a wife not a slave ok ❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@carolynsnipe6453 there's a reason women don't lead because they take one thing and make it extreme. Who's the slave? Why is she a slave, the word of God says a woman aka wife submits to her man's aka husband lead. Women say they want an equal partnership but won't go 50/50 on anything bills, trips, dates how is that a partnership? They understand because they listen to understand while all these other women and men have no idea what's going. People actually doing opposite of what think they're doing.
@@carolynsnipe6453 Utter drivel. You missed the point of the video entirely. Slave 😂😂
Thank goodness you was open to the advice.
This proves most women never grew up smh
I love rewatching this after months of first seeing this, thank you sis!
35 years married....
It required maturity, understanding, dedication, sympathy, empathy, trust and respect....with a whole lot of patience with forgiveness.....♥️😉😇
👑BOOM‼️✔️💯
I'm glad you lead with the word you maturity. That's about 60% of an adult relationship.
35 years as well. We have dealt with much. Agreed. ✌️
Marriage is a partnership with your counterpart, not a power struggle. Woman does her part, man does his and both come together in gratitude for not only each other but their lives together and everything that paints their picture of reality.
Marriage is a Union not a partnership
@@dave3987 the union is a result of the partnership. The union comes with the gratitude part.
And a real man who is married regardless of what issues are going on in the marriage will stay true to his marriage. A real man will sit down with his wife and discuss the said issues.
When she said older woman like 41...I ran to the damn mirror and said girl we look alike and I'm 42. I guess i should register for AARP😂😂
She was expressing that the woman was older than her, Not old old woman. Let's listen with out taking this out of context. And this young lady is young you can tell. Now if you look her age that is a blessing, God is Good!
Sis that had me distraught. 😮 I’m a older woman 😩
@@carlashelton7682 bottom line 40 is not old. And she does look about that age herself. Unless this story took place when she was younger
congratulations......your aging reasonably well,or she isn't aging that well. lol 😂. .....in any case,yes to people in their teens to early to mid 20s you would be considered older. you are technically a middle aged woman. lol 😂
The issue sounds like you are married to an 'insecure" man. A "real" man can handle the truth. In other words, it's not what you say, rather it's how YOU say it to him.
That's right you have to speak up sometimes.
You just said the same thing. Respect.
Spot on.
And she’s there discussing this with an older woman instead of keeping the issues between her and her husband and sorting things out together.
Seems she’s on the path to an unfulfilled unhappy marriage.
Booii this convo let's me see how stupid most women are, just dumb, nome of this sh*t relates to what's said in the video
The part you seem to be missing is "a real man is not going to allow himself to be a push over"
When Christ said, submit yourselves to your husband he did not mean in a physical way. It is all spiritual. The man is the head of the household, but that doesn't give him the right to be ignorant or shaming or abusing his head of the household power, it is to work together as a team so that. The common goal is unity.
What is troubling here is that this idea was a revelation to her.
and what do you do when your 'real man' makes major stupid decisions that affect the entire family?
I used to believe that shite once too. I've paid dearly for it.
Yeah because they definitely do. My mother married a" stupid man' who stole from thr cuffers of his company to build a private business. And said it was ok to be hungry- now he had lost his job and was bringing anything in. I asked her why she stayed with such a disrespectful person and had to manipulate him to constantly get her needs and ours met...?
Her answer was atartling and to say the least I had unknowingly lost respect for both of them.
But now as an adult. I follow a religion to honour ones parents. So I basically TRY TO FOLLOW THE SCRIPTURE.
I also noticed I had to consciously pray and connect every dot in their lives and remove it from mine.
They wonder why im not overtly excited about them.
They were truly bot model parents in terms of Xter. The narcissistic husband and his manipulative wife. Who could do nothing without his jealousy coming out.
God forgive me....
@@followGreatness You are an adult now, so please don't let their mistakes get in the way of your life.
Looking at your parents clearly often isn't easy, but if you can do that and take any lessons from it then you are ahead of most.
Yeah this advice feels wildly outdated & completely unhelpful. If he cannot deal with negative feedback he’s a narc. Immature. Wounded. Defensive. And that will be an endless power struggle; not a union of loving partners who communicate clearly, openly & directly.
The key word was REAL! Real men did all their stupid stuff when they were still boys!!
@@courtneyawalshexactly, this sounds like a weak and emotionally unstable man, not a "real" man.
“An older lady… just passed 40!” 🤣🤣🤣
Right!?!?
This girl is speaking the truth and modern day girls need to hear this 👍🏻👍🏻
My husband has made me regret the day I met him. He actively gaslights me on everything and is even abusive. Whenever I get ready to leave him he tries to make me feel guilty for “giving up” on the marriage. If he heard this video he would say that describes him. But I’m actuality he isn’t a real man. Real men don’t hit women.
U can't verbally express disapproval without someone interpreting as a put down. Sound like this his problem. At anytime you should be able to say the word NO.
This chick is the reason we as women need to hold each other accountable. She is promoting a dysfunctional relationship and giving reason for a victim to accept being abused. An ADULT... ANY ADULT... that doesn't see your concerns worth the time of day is to be deleted from your daily algorithms. ❤❤
Amen, stupid advice. That's a death marriage.
Exactly. The amount of women who keep justifying men's bad behavior and therefore keep other women in these situations is crazy. It's why I honestly am very reluctant to go to older women for advice. Too many are male identified.
Shooo a man this a man that...marriage problems,I'm starting to wonder who told us to meet total strangers and expect to live happily ever after with them ....I mean if you think about it we are all wired differently man nd woman...raised in different environments ,how likely is it that we will meet someone who thinks and acts like us,or the way we expect them to...
I don't know if I make sense I'm 38 and exhausted of trying to figure out other human beings wiring😂😂😂
A real man is a provider and wants to take care of your maintenance and wants to be your world when he sees you as His Queen❤