Great episode. Thank you for sharing! I totally agree identity needs to be the focus. This is exactly what I've been working more on and exploring of late 🙏
There should probably be a book entitled He Deserves Better as well. Some, maybe many, of these issues are sexless. The purity culture messed up a lot of men too. The message was almost, "Be perfect or don't even think about dating my daughter.". That is an extremely toxic message as well 🙏
42:39-52. That is putting the cart about 5,000 miles before the horse. We must talk about sin vs righteousness, holy vs unholy, good vs bad before we can even approach what is wise and respectful. We are corrupted, fallen and sinful. You can't have any relationship with your Savior until you realize that you need saving!
I usually am super on board with everything pure desire puts out but this author is VERY liberal and has a very clear bias (possibly from her own church hurt and feminist beliefs). I disagree with most everything she said. I bought and read the Great Sex Rescue but literally threw it in the trash 🗑️ I don't agree with the tone and ideas in many of the "Every Man's Battle" type books but this author is the exact same kind of thing on the other end of the spectrum. Her tone is very condemning towards men and boys. She starts out with calling a kid "creepy" and prefacing her daughter reaction with the kids previous sin. Sounds like she not applying the same logic she wants us to buy into that we should not be defined by our sexual sin. Very self-righteous and entitled attitude and tone. Also very condescending towards the men and women in the past who were giving the best information at the time in the 80's/90's. I hope she takes a step back from the work she's been doing and reassess her motives, biases and heart posture. I myself did not grow up in purity culture but with the way things are now, it seems like a healthy dose of shame/guilt is what's missing in my generation. I'm appalled at the minimization they discussed toward the end about arousal and "not liking" what you're seeing. What source is she using when God says if you even lust after someone, you've committed adultery? This is why is so important to guard our eye gates! Where is the accountability for the actions?? Also, she keeps saying to not make the conversations "gendered" yet, the majority of this time was spend talking about the "research" on how women have been impacted and not on the impact on relationships, friendships and marriages. I'm been telling so many people about how wonderful this ministry is between Conquerors and Betraying & Beyond, now I have concerns after this podcast... At the end of the day, you have to take all this info with a grain of salt and seek God's word for guidance on all of life's issues. His word is sufficient. If we want to use any additional tools for marriage, parenting, etc. we should prayerfully consider the resources we consume and always check them against God's word, not the temperature of the culture, our feelings/thoughts/ideas. “We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, and we are ready to punish all disobedience, whenever your obedience is complete. You are looking at things as they are outwardly. If anyone is confident in himself that he is Christ’s, let him consider this again within himself, that just as he is Christ’s, so also are we...For it is not he who commends himself that is approved, but he whom the Lord commends.” 2 Corinthians 10:5-7, 18 NASB1995
I'm so excited she is talking about the double standard with: - swimsuits (guys can show their stomachs, but girls can't-- speaking on stomachs purely, bc obv privates should be covered in *both* sexes), and -men are really visual, but women aren't. As a very "visual" woman, this always confused me. Plus, growing up and reading song of Solomon, I noticed the woman was just as visually excited and enticed by her husband, as he was of his wife. Yet people, and this includes other Christians, seem to promote this lie. -I love that she's touching on the lie that our bodies cause men to lose control. Instead of the truth that it's a heart problem in them, not you. Men need more accountability for their own hearts and actions, and I'm surprised and very hope filled to hear a Christian say this.
You get pushback on not labelling things as sin, because it is sin. We need the full truth. Inspiration is great. But shame and guilt are part of the good news - that Jesus brings freedom from them. They won’t understand what salvation is if we don’t understand sin and the damage it does to us. We definitely need to explain “why.” But inspiration alone isn’t enough in this world that is so sexualized. I understand you’re trying to move the needle in a certain direction, but there are churches today that never talk about sin at all that need to move the other direction. I agree that both genders need both messages, but dividing youth into separate groups is still a good idea in my opinion.
Great episode. Thank you for sharing! I totally agree identity needs to be the focus. This is exactly what I've been working more on and exploring of late 🙏
Thank you so much for this, this has caused so much suffering in my life.
There should probably be a book entitled He Deserves Better as well. Some, maybe many, of these issues are sexless. The purity culture messed up a lot of men too. The message was almost, "Be perfect or don't even think about dating my daughter.". That is an extremely toxic message as well 🙏
42:39-52.
That is putting the cart about 5,000 miles before the horse. We must talk about sin vs righteousness, holy vs unholy, good vs bad before we can even approach what is wise and respectful. We are corrupted, fallen and sinful. You can't have any relationship with your Savior until you realize that you need saving!
I usually am super on board with everything pure desire puts out but this author is VERY liberal and has a very clear bias (possibly from her own church hurt and feminist beliefs). I disagree with most everything she said. I bought and read the Great Sex Rescue but literally threw it in the trash 🗑️ I don't agree with the tone and ideas in many of the "Every Man's Battle" type books but this author is the exact same kind of thing on the other end of the spectrum.
Her tone is very condemning towards men and boys. She starts out with calling a kid "creepy" and prefacing her daughter reaction with the kids previous sin. Sounds like she not applying the same logic she wants us to buy into that we should not be defined by our sexual sin. Very self-righteous and entitled attitude and tone. Also very condescending towards the men and women in the past who were giving the best information at the time in the 80's/90's. I hope she takes a step back from the work she's been doing and reassess her motives, biases and heart posture.
I myself did not grow up in purity culture but with the way things are now, it seems like a healthy dose of shame/guilt is what's missing in my generation.
I'm appalled at the minimization they discussed toward the end about arousal and "not liking" what you're seeing. What source is she using when God says if you even lust after someone, you've committed adultery? This is why is so important to guard our eye gates! Where is the accountability for the actions?? Also, she keeps saying to not make the conversations "gendered" yet, the majority of this time was spend talking about the "research" on how women have been impacted and not on the impact on relationships, friendships and marriages.
I'm been telling so many people about how wonderful this ministry is between Conquerors and Betraying & Beyond, now I have concerns after this podcast...
At the end of the day, you have to take all this info with a grain of salt and seek God's word for guidance on all of life's issues. His word is sufficient. If we want to use any additional tools for marriage, parenting, etc. we should prayerfully consider the resources we consume and always check them against God's word, not the temperature of the culture, our feelings/thoughts/ideas.
“We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, and we are ready to punish all disobedience, whenever your obedience is complete. You are looking at things as they are outwardly. If anyone is confident in himself that he is Christ’s, let him consider this again within himself, that just as he is Christ’s, so also are we...For it is not he who commends himself that is approved, but he whom the Lord commends.”
2 Corinthians 10:5-7, 18 NASB1995
I'm so excited she is talking about the double standard with:
- swimsuits (guys can show their stomachs, but girls can't-- speaking on stomachs purely, bc obv privates should be covered in *both* sexes), and
-men are really visual, but women aren't. As a very "visual" woman, this always confused me. Plus, growing up and reading song of Solomon, I noticed the woman was just as visually excited and enticed by her husband, as he was of his wife. Yet people, and this includes other Christians, seem to promote this lie.
-I love that she's touching on the lie that our bodies cause men to lose control. Instead of the truth that it's a heart problem in them, not you. Men need more accountability for their own hearts and actions, and I'm surprised and very hope filled to hear a Christian say this.
You get pushback on not labelling things as sin, because it is sin. We need the full truth. Inspiration is great. But shame and guilt are part of the good news - that Jesus brings freedom from them. They won’t understand what salvation is if we don’t understand sin and the damage it does to us. We definitely need to explain “why.” But inspiration alone isn’t enough in this world that is so sexualized. I understand you’re trying to move the needle in a certain direction, but there are churches today that never talk about sin at all that need to move the other direction. I agree that both genders need both messages, but dividing youth into separate groups is still a good idea in my opinion.