It’s incredibly narcissistic because it is to tell someone how you must refer to them when speaking to others. To say “my pronouns are he/him” is to say “when you speak to others of me, you need to recognize the traits I identify myself as having.” e.g. I identify as man so you will refer to me as such. That’s ultimately no different than claiming someone must refer to you by any other adjectives you might identify as. It’s incredibly narcissistic to tell someone “I think of myself as incredibly intelligent, so when speaking to others you must tell them how intelligent I am.” To be so narcissistic to believe that you deserve a direct say in how others must perceive you is nothing short of insane.
This has always bothered me to because, if I'm talking to you, I'm not using she, he or them pronouns. I don't need to know your pronouns before I can talk to you or talk about you.
Man, you get it. It really is the alteration of language that gets me and the fact that they want to alter a lifetime of knowing the English language (and even gendered languaes like Spanish) just for them, not taking into account or considering what others might feel or have to say. Yet if you make so much as one slip up, something thats easy given how we default pronouns based on APPEARANCE, then suddenly you're the BBEG of society? Actual madness on an unprecedented level.
Thank you one again for saying what I am thinking clearly and concisely. Btw do you still need a better table saw? It's black friday, I'd love to help you out if you let me.
apologies in advance for the long comment, and tyia to anyone who reads it 👍 i'm a trans person who has had a lot of these same thoughts, especially regarding performative "pronouns in bio" or asking/being expected to provide one's pronouns as part of a basic, casual introduction. i sympathize with trans people who feel a greater-than-average desire for social validation, specifically validation of a gender identity that they've usually gotten a lot of flack for and may feel really defensive about. however... i'm ultimately not the arbiter of how people talk about me to others, and as i've matured and gained some self confidence i've lost basically all desire to assert "my pronouns" or to request/demand people speak in a certain way when i'm not even around to hear it. that said, i can't agree with the basic framing of this video even though i agree with most of its content. the idea that The Pronoun Thing is the main reason why so many people today don't support transgender people is one that i hear a lot in various forms, and it never rings true. if you're genuinely surrounded by people whose main gripe with trans people really is the pronoun kerfuffle and its attendant perceived narcissism, and who are otherwise perfectly willing to treat fellow humans with respect and dignity regardless of their gender expression, that's great - i definitely cant say the same. i meet a decent amount of people, online and irl, who claim to be "fine with however people want to live" but just "have some questions/problems/concerns" that make them wary of trans people as a group. i find that a lot of these people are either being disingenuous or fooling themselves. they're operating on a "feelings first" model, where their underlying disgust toward people who break gender norms or challenge the idea of gender as immutable (and whom they therefore deem ugly and/or delusional) leads them to create socially-acceptable justifications for why they just can't seem to get down with this whole transgender thing! it's not everybody, for sure, but i think it's easier to spot when you're a part of the group in question, or when you actually interact with a decent number of trans people on a regular basis. people can claim all they want to subscribe to a live-and-let-live philosophy, but a really disheartening proportion of those people, when confronted with a real life transgender person, will show their true colors in big or small ways. in short, i don't think it's true or helpful to discount the factors of 1) subconscious disgust with transgender people's bodies, lifestyle choices, and social positioning, and 2) knee-jerk defensive reactions to a perceived challenge to one's ideas about the nature of sex and/or gender.
It’s incredibly narcissistic because it is to tell someone how you must refer to them when speaking to others. To say “my pronouns are he/him” is to say “when you speak to others of me, you need to recognize the traits I identify myself as having.” e.g. I identify as man so you will refer to me as such.
That’s ultimately no different than claiming someone must refer to you by any other adjectives you might identify as. It’s incredibly narcissistic to tell someone “I think of myself as incredibly intelligent, so when speaking to others you must tell them how intelligent I am.”
To be so narcissistic to believe that you deserve a direct say in how others must perceive you is nothing short of insane.
This has always bothered me to because, if I'm talking to you, I'm not using she, he or them pronouns. I don't need to know your pronouns before I can talk to you or talk about you.
Man, you get it. It really is the alteration of language that gets me and the fact that they want to alter a lifetime of knowing the English language (and even gendered languaes like Spanish) just for them, not taking into account or considering what others might feel or have to say. Yet if you make so much as one slip up, something thats easy given how we default pronouns based on APPEARANCE, then suddenly you're the BBEG of society? Actual madness on an unprecedented level.
Thank you one again for saying what I am thinking clearly and concisely. Btw do you still need a better table saw? It's black friday, I'd love to help you out if you let me.
@@titusjames4912 I appreciate it and I’m fine. I don’t need a saw table. I haven’t even had time to work on anything like that recently
apologies in advance for the long comment, and tyia to anyone who reads it 👍
i'm a trans person who has had a lot of these same thoughts, especially regarding performative "pronouns in bio" or asking/being expected to provide one's pronouns as part of a basic, casual introduction. i sympathize with trans people who feel a greater-than-average desire for social validation, specifically validation of a gender identity that they've usually gotten a lot of flack for and may feel really defensive about. however... i'm ultimately not the arbiter of how people talk about me to others, and as i've matured and gained some self confidence i've lost basically all desire to assert "my pronouns" or to request/demand people speak in a certain way when i'm not even around to hear it.
that said, i can't agree with the basic framing of this video even though i agree with most of its content. the idea that The Pronoun Thing is the main reason why so many people today don't support transgender people is one that i hear a lot in various forms, and it never rings true. if you're genuinely surrounded by people whose main gripe with trans people really is the pronoun kerfuffle and its attendant perceived narcissism, and who are otherwise perfectly willing to treat fellow humans with respect and dignity regardless of their gender expression, that's great - i definitely cant say the same.
i meet a decent amount of people, online and irl, who claim to be "fine with however people want to live" but just "have some questions/problems/concerns" that make them wary of trans people as a group. i find that a lot of these people are either being disingenuous or fooling themselves. they're operating on a "feelings first" model, where their underlying disgust toward people who break gender norms or challenge the idea of gender as immutable (and whom they therefore deem ugly and/or delusional) leads them to create socially-acceptable justifications for why they just can't seem to get down with this whole transgender thing! it's not everybody, for sure, but i think it's easier to spot when you're a part of the group in question, or when you actually interact with a decent number of trans people on a regular basis. people can claim all they want to subscribe to a live-and-let-live philosophy, but a really disheartening proportion of those people, when confronted with a real life transgender person, will show their true colors in big or small ways.
in short, i don't think it's true or helpful to discount the factors of
1) subconscious disgust with transgender people's bodies, lifestyle choices, and social positioning, and
2) knee-jerk defensive reactions to a perceived challenge to one's ideas about the nature of sex and/or gender.