I make a “do not list” to handle delayed gratification things. I also make a “what-if” list to handle extenuating circumstances. Waking up late, getting sick, etc
The bit about building an association between pleasure and unpleasant tasks is 💯 I used to hate doing chores, but now I use that time to listen to audiobooks and podcasts, and now every weekend I'm looking for mindless tasks to do so I can listen to a podcast or audiobook
The marshmallow experiment can just show that some children have experience of adults not keeping their promises. And / or have a chaotic unpredictable home life or maybe not enough food at home to go around. So for them it makes sense to take the marshmallow.
Probably nobody checked whether the children liked marshmallows the same. If a child does not really like marshmallows and only pretends to like them to please the researcher, of course the child will suceed in not eating it for longer or not at all.
As a professional poker player I can only agree with this: immediate results don't matter, good decisions do. You will see the benefits in the long run. Also keep in mind that that marshmallow looks different to everybody as we all have different weaknesses and cravings. Self-reflection and searching for the marshmallows in relation to your personal goals will definitely push you forward!
Seeing such videos is uplifting. I am an 'old-school' 22 yo who doesn't do social media and no drugs. 'I suck'. Such videos make me confident that I'm on the right track
@@ege8240wow dude. What’re you doing on a channel like this? While from a broad perspective right and wrong might be subjective, they still exist. And you’re definitely wrong about no reward for staying away from drugs. There is a clear reward there. So you’re essentially wrong and being an egotistical asshole about it. Also this channel is far from the negative effects found on “social media”. You’re clearly living a shitty life and want others to do so as well. We won’t though. Humphrey you’re doing the right thing for you bro and good on you. Do you do you don’t end up like this clown
@@ege8240 there is a social media and social media,you cant really put people that spend half of their days on twitter/instagram/tiktok with the people that watch one or two hours of content videos a day in the same basket,its literarlly not the same thing.Just go talk with a person that watches 2-3-4 hours of tiktok a day and with a person that watches 1-2 hours of youtube a day and even within a 15 minute talk you can see the difference between.
I've stopped indulging in instant gratification unless it comes from my work. I've been doing it for almost a month, and when I look back at the old habits I used to have, such as uncontrollably playing video games or spending my time with my instant-gratification-chasing friends, it makes me feel relieved and thankful for what I've done throughout the month. 2023 has been an amazing year for me, and this month alone made this year the best year of my life. With my strong mindset, 2024 will definitely be 12 times better. (12 months is better than 1)
Man.... Trust me, this video actually helped me a lot. I needed to know this. You came back just when I needed you! 🎉 Thank you so much for helping us all through your channel. 💙✨
I’ve delayed gratification to the point of depression. Deny myself basic human desires/amenities. Don’t reward myself at all. Where’s the science behind that
If you're not living a tolerable life, why deny yourself little pleasures? I'm not sure what you're specifically delaying, but if that is what's driving you to chronic stress or depression then you should probably find ways to indulge in self-care. You're not alive when you're not living, after-all
@@RodderickPrinceParker why dont you remind yourself that ur doing the very thing the top 1% do i think you should change your perspective also anpother factor could be athiesm as athiesm seems to be promoting nilhism , the belief that nothing matters , and plain nilhism
My vision of success is based on three words - progresively, constantliy, consequitively. This video is evidence that there is more than finding your rhytm. Thank you very much for the upload!
I began learning flute and music last year. I work almodt everyday at least 40 minutes playing scales and all. That's instant and delayed gratification. I am truly impressed by all the progress I made starting from zero and look forward to being even more impressed in a near future... 😊🎼🎶
So if I understand it right, I first need to look at a marshmallow for 15 minutes then eat two and I end up successful? Damn that's easy. Thanks for the info
Yes, the marshmallow experiment was flawed as it didn't correct for socioeconomic background. I even read that when corrected for it, it didn't show any results at all. I tested my impatient child when he was 4 and he passed with flying colours, which I never expected. It's because there was no shortage of sweets in life, from his perspective, and he could easily wait for the second one, because neither the first nor the second one matter. I grew up poor and we had little food and no sweets. If you had gave it to me, it would have been gone before you had a chance to explain how it works. Still, here I am, living a dream and raising my child how to be happy and relaxed in life, not successful.
That's why I included the second experiment as well. Background, environment, socio-economic status and past experiences, all can have an affect on the results. It has to be noted that delayed gratification is just a piece of the puzzle and not the whole picture. But it shouldn't be dismissed. Also, as you pointed out, success is different for each person 😁
@@BetterThanYesterday I agree on what Luka said. The correlation between delay gratification and success is still not clear yet. As an adult, people delay gratification is often have a bigger motivation other than instant gratification. Therefore, instead of emphasizing delay gratification and make people feel hesitating to what they love, I think we should advocate people to do things that could bring happiness to themselves. I think this is the key point.
I love this video! Im not arguing just discussing it further! 🙂 you could also get a result where a kid choose to eat 1 now becasuse the waiting time is boring and a sweet might cheer it up during a boring time more than later when the kid gets to do fun stuff again. Like 1 good thing now "while life is hard, just in the sweets situation, might give more value then, than two later on. Today you also might know that you can have another 3,5 or 7 sweets later that day whatever you choose now. Just thoughts! The main takeaway from the video, as I choose to see it, is that its good to be mindful, frugal, smart and also reliable so it has great value for me as a reminder of making good choises.
@@xiaozhewang7226I think the tests for delayed gratification should include people older like in their early 20s. If you put $10 on the table and said they could keep it or get another $10 if they wait, most would probably wait...unless they are either hard of hearing or just don't listen.
Really good video. Wow. I grew up with a single mother that made a lot of promises that she never came through on. She underestimated the damage that would cause. Thanks for making this one!
Maybe I'm wrong about what you said but Don't dwelve too much into your past and try to forgive her for her liabilities. Forgiveness sets you free and you can move on easier.
@@ST-kp4qu Eh, yea sure. She’s just not well. Some type of BPD. It’s kinda in their nature. She won’t get help. Many people have told her to get help. I apologize if I am so cavalier about this. It’s just that whenever anyone tells me to forgive, it makes me cringe. It just is what it is. I don’t need some lame pow-wow around a campfire to cry and forgive my mom. There was a time when I dealt with all that. I appreciate the concern though. My original comment was not intended to show any type of animosity towards my mother. Simply saying the damaged caused by her still messes my life up today. It’s great! Every day I find out new and wonderful ways that she screwed me and my siblings. lol It’s funny, if I bring anything up that is negative about her, she denies it. We grew up sleeping on the floor in crack dens, dude. She got that selective memory. She still calls herself the most unselfish person she knows. Most of her decisions were for herself in some way. It’s truly fascinating really. She did the best she could with the mental capacity given to her. That’s all I can say I suppose.
I understand. Some mental illness do alter consciousness and therefore pople like that do not realize the way they are, since they lack consciousness (in a way). When I say forgive her, it doesn't mean to forget. Forgive is a very simple word but it is extremely complicated. to integrate. Forgiving means to let go of the feelings that hold you and spiral you down. It took me many years to understand it. "Forgive them because they do not know" is extremely profound but true. (I'm not a religious person). Though, spirituality is a power you grant yourself over your soul and feelings and it is associated with a higher state of consciousness it makes you an observer of your own feelings. It takes time, to modify oneself. You being aware of everything she did to you and/or your siblings makes you conscious, but that state of mind must be followed by something deeper (I say must because otherwise it's holding you down).I always try acknowledge my feelings (and therefore the past associated) and ask myself : Ok what about it now and what about my future? What's next? What do I do from it and how? Apologies if my english isn't extremely precise. wish you the best.@@benbenben123ben
Thank you for making good videos, you're one of the only youtuber that's actually talking about useful things and not trying to play on people's weaknesses
This is so SPOT ON! Like many viewers mentioned that the marshmallow experiment has flaws, I agree that delayed gratification is very benficial for our wellness. In this modern world of temptations, ease, comforts, access to information(lots of it "misinformation"), and choices it's a constant battles to fight our impulses to avoid suffering. Giving in to thoses impulses has led us in to a society of many unfulfilled people. Through my "awareness" of this phenomena, I try and delay gratification as much as possible with my crude mantra of "earn my shit"! Whether it be "earn my carbs"(If I want pizza that night then I make sure that I have had quite a bit of movement that day), "earn my time on social media"(I will do some yard work or clean the bathroom). I am by no means perfect and do give in to impulses(Like my wife just made brownies and I can't resist them hot out of the oven! Damn her!), but I do try and follow that lifestyle of "Earn my shit" ! I am self made and created my wealth and contentedness!
Thank you for such a well produced video on a topic I needed to hear. It's just about 2024 and I'm in the process of laying out some New Year's resolutions. This video will definitely be an influence!
@BetterThanYesterday I read that recently scientists revised this experiment. Children who decided to wait did not value marshmellow much because they were from richer families. And if your parents are richer, you will likely achieve more in life.
You've only ruined your life by being "average" if you feel like you've ruined it. I'm extremely happy being "average". 99.9% would "ruin" my life again.
the marshmellow test is so wacked. The people that put their kids in science experiement are either wealthier scicence nerds themesleves or people that need the money. Kids who grew up in homes that needed money probably suffered from food scarcity, or knowing that things don't last if you don't take them now. It's a hard way to judge.
Now I want to ask a question that seems to me fundamental: why do I want to be in the "top 1%"? Since I was a child I have read biographies and I have found a pattern in people who are in the "top 1%": many have been unhappy and did not hide it because of ideas they expressed in life (Tesla, Newton, Einstein, Carothers, Ampère, etc.), while others have been unhappy but tried desperately to prove that they were happy, surely to try to justify to themselves all the cost they had to pay to reach the "top 1%" (here I could give examples of living people, but some might interpret this as slander). If we separate humanity into groups of 100 people and take a group where you are, if you want to be in the "top 1%", you will have to make more sacrifices than the remaining 99 people, which will not necessarily make you happy in the long run (especially if you think that money will make you happy).
Most have mistaken living a fulfilling life with being the 1% of most popular/rich people. It's fulfillment people desire, which doesn't need to be something outrages
It doesn't matter whether or not you are happy. Being successful will greatly improve other people's quality of life. If Einstein or Tesla took the lazy path, the world would be a lot worse, even if they personally would be happier. It's selfish. The same applies to you and me. Don't take the lazy path.
And it's in your interest to not bargain with unhealthy habits. For example, there's no healthy amount of cigarettes or cocaine. It's best to quit those entirely. Similar situation with pornography and many types of video games. Some video games are purely designed to get you addicted. There's no sense in trying to play in a healthy and controlled manner. Their pernicious design is so that they want to eliminate that possibility as much as possible and manipulate you. Many TV shows are the same these days.
The writer George Orwell made a related observation. He said when people have difficult lives they often make short term decisions to get them emotionally through the next 15 minutes that are often really bad for them long term when repeated regularly. Eg having an ice cream, a beer, a cigarette.. I think it was partly an observation mostly about how working class people dont tend to eat healthy less appetising food. I forget the name of the essay or book.
I have to admit I was really strong before. After having some drama in my life I gained over 30kg fat. Two weeks ago, I ate about 3 chocolate bars a day. Hope that watching your videos make me loose some weight and start all over again. Your method shall be tested. I must succeed!
I used to eat chocolate bars too. But I think indulgences are a coping mechanism. I had personal issues going on that needed looking into with a therapist. I think emotions impact us far more than we realize. Chocolate does have mood enhancing properties but is unsustainable because it can lead to exacerbated mood imbalances and dependency.
"you never know if you gonna get hit by the bus tomorrow" and because of this...do not go to the gym 30 days in a row without having a milkshake and burger.... nor should you indulge in milkshake and burger everyday.... should instead, alternate between work and indulgence as a reward...
So many valuable lessons from this video. Here is a short summary: Discipline supersedes motivation. Marshmallow test study demonstrates that a great predictor of success is one’s ability to control impulses, thereby aiming for delayed gratification in lieu of instant gratification. To induce discipline, you can apply conditions and limits as rewards for instantly gratifying activities. For example, you only allow yourself to watch TV for 1 hour AFTER you have finished the milestone on work project. One trick is to combine activities such that you get both delayed and instant gratification. An example is to restrict listening to music only when cleaning, or watching TV only while exercising. Jealously is the thief of joy. Further, don’t demotivate yourself by comparing with people who seem to be successful despite indulging in instant gratification. Success has a long gestation period and results may take years to show. If you do as the 99% of population, then you will be bound to mediocre results in the long run. To be in the top 1%, you need discipline (consistency) and innovation.
As a child I was always told „first work, then fun“ but when I‘ve done my work there was sometimes more work, because I have time now. If I delayed my work and did fun first, there was someone else who helped me at my work and I collected energy to do the work while having fun before. Now I have to train myself everyday to overcome this habit. 😅
The mashmellow test turned to have a wrong basics. The kids from poor family ( where the parents could not provide sweets to kids) turned out to be the ones that didn't resist the mashmellow. Which makes sense, that later in life, the same poor parents could not support kids school/career.
I think it should be said that the marshmallow study didn't account for socio-economic status. It's a lot easier to withhold gratification when a marshmallow is a nice little treat whereas to others it's sustenance; a scare resource for them.
Glad to see you back I really like your content and you've inspired me alot thank you. Please could you do a video breaking down the process you follow to make this awesome videos step by steps from idea, research, scripting etc. It will be really cool to have a video like that
it was a very informative video... but I know this channel for a long time now and came back to watch it today and noticed that the narrator's pronunciation got MUCH better. This is maybe a small think goes unnoticed but, its a HUGE improvement and makes the channel even more empowering to know, you DO get better day by day--- Thank you and keep it up! :)
I love you videos! One question about this one. Isn't there always a chance that you can do everything "right" and still never be rewarded? Basically delaying gratification until you die because nothing ever worked out.
No, cause if you don't get much but you still get something which better than instant gratification. And you build more patience and think more rationally as you run less after the pleasure but now you think what is more better for you
@@Makebuildmodify No what I mean is even they didn't got what they desired but they learnt something which will be useful in their life at some point the efforts will not go to waste
@@CBDMX033RonitT THIS. The person it shapes you into becoming is often not considered in this sort of discussion. The goal gives you the direction (so it's obviously important as well), but the journey matters a lot more because of the person it's shaping you to be. At least in my perspective!
the bosses/manager who is watching this right now: "i see, since im such a good boss i shall delay my worker's paycheck for another few months so that they will be successful like me in the future" 🗣
growing up with adhd and not being able to access medication most out of finance and fear that ill become reliant on it and what would happen in worse finance situation. (just not viable when your poor yo) you mention self negotiation and thats kinda interesting in that thats sort of how i view myself nowadays. its really helpful to view yourself as if you are two or multiple entities in your head than one. not like schizo or multiple personalities. more like conflicting interests and conflicting attentions. which is probably because of my adhd somewhat. but in any case doing this allows me to attempt to deconstruct myself, find my flaws, habits, etc. sometimes i find there are weird uses for some flaws and habits. like i find i learn and absorb more audio information when im drawing. so i always draw and listen to lectures. if i try to focus in class like fully only Focus on the teacher i would get sleepy and that drowsyness is not what i want. but its what some part of me inside is doing. yet that is also useful. if i really need to sleep? just watch a lecture and focus on the lecture. nowadays instead of self depricating since i kinda separate myself from myself somewhat. sometimes i call this self partitioning but theres probably similar more established concepts out there. its honestly the best thing that has helped me alot. one thing i did recently was i noticed how much i do tend to get invested even to fictional characters, and emotional investment is a weirdly powerful thing. so i made a character or icon of sorts that represents things i want for myself. and i would imagine myself chatting with this character as a way to sort of self reflect. sometimes i would make a promise to that character and imagine them being dissapointed when i couldn't fullfill it. but i also imagine joke around with that character, and sometimes i play a sort of "quick draw" game. this to maximize my investment in the character. the character is designed to make cheesy jokes, and i found myself laughing more and more at cheesy humor, etc. as weird as that sound its probably no different from say when a person talks to themself in 3rd person, when an athlete talks to themself in the mirror to hype themself up, or other such cases. in this situation tho i applied a bit of how i found i tend to get attached to characters. even drew them to maximize my investment in it. one final thing i learned after all is that. emotional investment is rather useful once you figure out how to get yourself invested in something. and how to identify things you are invested in without your awareness.
I would love it if you'd do a video on the 3-bite rule. There's a science behind it, but I can't find any videos that go into that. Your videos are very engaging and I've learned a lot from them, I also love to share them with my clients.
It's not my goal to get ahead of 99% of people. I just want to live a good life, be happy, and wish the same for everyone else-without anyone feeling the urge to get ahead of or be better than 99% of others.
The answer to the question "How 99% of People Ruin Their Life" is not explicitly stated in the video. However, the video discusses the importance of delaying gratification and making choices that lead to long-term success rather than short-term pleasure. By resisting cheap temptations and focusing on building a better future, one can avoid the pitfalls that lead to a life of mediocrity or failure.
The best trick I found to avoid doing nothing or falling into the temptation of doing too much leisure activities is to have an agenda and to strictly schedule my time. I use the virtual calendar on my phone so I get notifications which act like the parent you're talking about in the video. Scheduling makes you envision the day and you realize how much time you have or don't have for each activity. Grant Cardon says that the safest way to accomplish nothing is to have white space in your calendar and I think he is right.
Very interesting, the impact that environment plays is not always easy to correlate. I grew up in a world where on the one hand things were very constant and reliable - mom was always home, we always got dinner every night, birthdays and Christmas always happened. But on the other hand, no one was there for me emotionally-relationally, I was always very much alone in a large family (we all were), and could not rely on anyone else. If I wanted something, I had to figure out how to make it happen. This could easily lead to a tendency towards instant gratification, but quite the contrary, I learned quite on my own to chase after things myself. Impatience and an unwillingness to put in the constant, daily hard work has been the greatest impediment to achievement for me, which I have gotten a lot better at over the years, but somehow I did figure out how to work hard for a long period of time to achieve goals in my professional and financial life, and have excelled in those areas well beyond most others.
If I were the participant child, I'd wait for the researcher to come in, then say "You can have them for yourself", then leave the room😂😂. Now I'm SIGMA😮
👌👌👌 This is so importante! 🙂 to follow up the 1st study. And good to be frugal! (And also realistic in the way the world is now, like before you might had money to buy a house if you worked hard and saved, now thats not enought some times you have to work "smart" in some way to be able to save up for the house within your lifetime. Notsaying late-gratif is bad, frugality is SO good! You just have to think ab how to apply this in your life specifically I think.
Before I even watch this video, I find one thing kind of irritating about it, which I've also seen with other channels: the use of the word "you" in the title and/or thumbnail (in this case the thumbnail) While it may seem silly or over-sensitive to most, but it has this kind of clickbait effect that implies that the person watching this video has the issues mentioned... and that watching it is like an admission of having such and such properties/way of life/whatever, even though often times that's not the case - for instance, I'd just like to watch this video educationally, and some people may just want a reminder or confirmation of what they know, while others may disagree with the contents entirely. If you're confident in what you're saying and doing, there shouldn't be any need to imply some kind of flaw in your viewers to get them to click the video. And therefore, whether intentional or not (hopefully not), it can reduce credibility and integrity. It could be worse if it was titled "Why You Aren't Successful" or something (which is funny because success is subjective/dependent on the criteria you're looking at anyway), but I digress: this channel has had some great videos in the past, so I'm a little disappointed to see it use psychological tricks like this.
This ignores alot in how society works today. There are plenty of people who have no issues being patient and planning ahead. However, when never being given an opportunity, all of this comes to nothing. Two generations have been betrayed, their futures stolen, by the thoughtless selfishness of older people and a different 1% that was born into wealth. The word Meritocracy is no longer anything more than an empty excuse for a system that is no such thing.
You are correct about what you say, there is definitely no meritocracy anymore. You can create opportunities for yourself though by learning skills and being extremely frugal to build capital for the things you want. You can increase wages by shopping around for a better workplace which can mean both increased pay and better conditions.
@@redstarling5171 Only if you are incredibly savvy or lucky in this area. Or, more often, you have contacts offering the nepotism rout. Most never get the luxury to choose between jobs, despite stocking up on supposedly desired skills or education. "Too little work experience." "Not the extremely specific version of this education we wanted." "Thank you for applying, [insert name here], but we have moved on with other applicants." Then they complain that the recruitment failed because "Noone applied to the job", despite hundreds of people having done so. Sure, you may be able to get into the ultra-specific education they want, spending years studying for that one job. Only to, after the graduation, find out that the job market have shifted yet again, making your hard earned education undesired or even worthless.
It is not that easy - many people (myself included) suffer from the opposite problem - always sacrificing today for tomorrow, and when tomorrow finally comes, it is sacrificed for the day after, and life is never fully lived. But the main point stands imho - gratification should not be impulsive, but rather planned.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:29 🎓 *The Marshmallow Test by Walter Mischel is highlighted as a crucial psychological study, emphasizing the importance of delaying gratification for success in various life domains.* 01:57 📈 *Long-term tracking of children from the Marshmallow Test revealed that those who delayed gratification achieved higher success in education, health, and social skills.* 02:51 🔄 *The principle of thinking long-term over short-term is presented as a key to progress in life, with examples across financial savings, health, and education.* 04:18 🧠 *A study at Rochester University indicated that the ability to delay gratification is not purely inborn but can be influenced and developed through experiences.* 07:40 🛠️ *Strategies for improving the ability to delay gratification are discussed, including setting personal conditions and limits to balance enjoyment and discipline.* Made with HARPA AI
I make a “do not list” to handle delayed gratification things. I also make a “what-if” list to handle extenuating circumstances. Waking up late, getting sick, etc
That's a great idea man... Thanks
That's the way to do it 👍
The second list is a great idea, I didn't think of that.
@asadickens9353 can you tell more about it? one list of yours will really help me make mine and others too! (please do both lists)
Could you post your second list?
The bit about building an association between pleasure and unpleasant tasks is 💯 I used to hate doing chores, but now I use that time to listen to audiobooks and podcasts, and now every weekend I'm looking for mindless tasks to do so I can listen to a podcast or audiobook
That’s why I don’t drive a car. When I travel, I read books. But I realise that this isn’t possible in some countries.
The marshmallow experiment can just show that some children have experience of adults not keeping their promises. And / or have a chaotic unpredictable home life or maybe not enough food at home to go around. So for them it makes sense to take the marshmallow.
That makes a lot of sense
Probably nobody checked whether the children liked marshmallows the same.
If a child does not really like marshmallows and only pretends to like them to please the researcher, of course the child will suceed in not eating it for longer or not at all.
I often thought that as well as I am not a marshmallow fan
That could be the case, but in general the ability to delay gratification helps a lot in life.
Exactly…a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
As a professional poker player I can only agree with this: immediate results don't matter, good decisions do. You will see the benefits in the long run.
Also keep in mind that that marshmallow looks different to everybody as we all have different weaknesses and cravings. Self-reflection and searching for the marshmallows in relation to your personal goals will definitely push you forward!
If you don't want to wait, just skip to the gratifying part at 10:42 in the video.
wait a minute-
That ain't that gratifying tbh
LOL
🤞
Seeing such videos is uplifting. I am an 'old-school' 22 yo who doesn't do social media and no drugs. 'I suck'. Such videos make me confident that I'm on the right track
You are 1 among the millions like me😊😊
there is no 'right' track. if you think you will be rewarded for not doing drugs, keep dreaming.
also, we are on social media right now
@@ege8240wow dude. What’re you doing on a channel like this? While from a broad perspective right and wrong might be subjective, they still exist. And you’re definitely wrong about no reward for staying away from drugs. There is a clear reward there. So you’re essentially wrong and being an egotistical asshole about it.
Also this channel is far from the negative effects found on “social media”. You’re clearly living a shitty life and want others to do so as well.
We won’t though. Humphrey you’re doing the right thing for you bro and good on you. Do you do you don’t end up like this clown
@@ege8240 there is a social media and social media,you cant really put people that spend half of their days on twitter/instagram/tiktok with the people that watch one or two hours of content videos a day in the same basket,its literarlly not the same thing.Just go talk with a person that watches 2-3-4 hours of tiktok a day and with a person that watches 1-2 hours of youtube a day and even within a 15 minute talk you can see the difference between.
@@ege8240hear hear, I hate people who think youtube isn't social Media. That's exactly what it is.
I've stopped indulging in instant gratification unless it comes from my work. I've been doing it for almost a month, and when I look back at the old habits I used to have, such as uncontrollably playing video games or spending my time with my instant-gratification-chasing friends, it makes me feel relieved and thankful for what I've done throughout the month.
2023 has been an amazing year for me, and this month alone made this year the best year of my life. With my strong mindset, 2024 will definitely be 12 times better. (12 months is better than 1)
W bro , just dont slide into the thinking of "just one more X" speaking from expirience
Man.... Trust me, this video actually helped me a lot. I needed to know this. You came back just when I needed you! 🎉
Thank you so much for helping us all through your channel. 💙✨
The best channel in self-development is back and with an innovative thumbnail! I'm eager to watch it :D
I’ve delayed gratification to the point of depression. Deny myself basic human desires/amenities. Don’t reward myself at all. Where’s the science behind that
If you're not living a tolerable life, why deny yourself little pleasures?
I'm not sure what you're specifically delaying, but if that is what's driving you to chronic stress or depression then you should probably find ways to indulge in self-care.
You're not alive when you're not living, after-all
@@mmasters180 I’ll take you up on that my friend.
I wish I had your focus Bros suffering from success 💀
@@Nwunchuck27 lol more like lack thereof in this context my friend.
@@RodderickPrinceParker why dont you remind yourself that ur doing the very thing the top 1% do
i think you should change your perspective
also anpother factor could be athiesm as athiesm seems to be promoting nilhism , the belief that nothing matters , and plain nilhism
Hey you are not aware, how much we have missed you!! Glad to hear your voice again!
My vision of success is based on three words - progresively, constantliy, consequitively. This video is evidence that there is more than finding your rhytm. Thank you very much for the upload!
This gives a lot of perspective. Thanks for such a wonderful video.
I began learning flute and music last year. I work almodt everyday at least 40 minutes playing scales and all. That's instant and delayed gratification. I am truly impressed by all the progress I made starting from zero and look forward to being even more impressed in a near future... 😊🎼🎶
So if I understand it right, I first need to look at a marshmallow for 15 minutes then eat two and I end up successful?
Damn that's easy.
Thanks for the info
No way that's your conclusion 😭
He is in the 0.000001%
Are you 4yo?
Yes, the marshmallow experiment was flawed as it didn't correct for socioeconomic background. I even read that when corrected for it, it didn't show any results at all.
I tested my impatient child when he was 4 and he passed with flying colours, which I never expected. It's because there was no shortage of sweets in life, from his perspective, and he could easily wait for the second one, because neither the first nor the second one matter.
I grew up poor and we had little food and no sweets. If you had gave it to me, it would have been gone before you had a chance to explain how it works. Still, here I am, living a dream and raising my child how to be happy and relaxed in life, not successful.
That's why I included the second experiment as well. Background, environment, socio-economic status and past experiences, all can have an affect on the results. It has to be noted that delayed gratification is just a piece of the puzzle and not the whole picture. But it shouldn't be dismissed. Also, as you pointed out, success is different for each person 😁
@@BetterThanYesterday I agree on what Luka said. The correlation between delay gratification and success is still not clear yet. As an adult, people delay gratification is often have a bigger motivation other than instant gratification. Therefore, instead of emphasizing delay gratification and make people feel hesitating to what they love, I think we should advocate people to do things that could bring happiness to themselves. I think this is the key point.
I love this video! Im not arguing just discussing it further! 🙂 you could also get a result where a kid choose to eat 1 now becasuse the waiting time is boring and a sweet might cheer it up during a boring time more than later when the kid gets to do fun stuff again. Like 1 good thing now "while life is hard, just in the sweets situation, might give more value then, than two later on. Today you also might know that you can have another 3,5 or 7 sweets later that day whatever you choose now. Just thoughts! The main takeaway from the video, as I choose to see it, is that its good to be mindful, frugal, smart and also reliable so it has great value for me as a reminder of making good choises.
@@xiaozhewang7226I think the tests for delayed gratification should include people older like in their early 20s. If you put $10 on the table and said they could keep it or get another $10 if they wait, most would probably wait...unless they are either hard of hearing or just don't listen.
@@toddspangler6669 a better test for an adult would be 100 dollars now, or 1000 dollars in a year. that would make many adults waver.
Really good video. Wow. I grew up with a single mother that made a lot of promises that she never came through on.
She underestimated the damage that would cause.
Thanks for making this one!
Maybe I'm wrong about what you said but Don't dwelve too much into your past and try to forgive her for her liabilities. Forgiveness sets you free and you can move on easier.
@@ST-kp4qu
Eh, yea sure. She’s just not well. Some type of BPD. It’s kinda in their nature. She won’t get help. Many people have told her to get help.
I apologize if I am so cavalier about this. It’s just that whenever anyone tells me to forgive, it makes me cringe. It just is what it is. I don’t need some lame pow-wow around a campfire to cry and forgive my mom. There was a time when I dealt with all that. I appreciate the concern though.
My original comment was not intended to show any type of animosity towards my mother.
Simply saying the damaged caused by her still messes my life up today.
It’s great! Every day I find out new and wonderful ways that she screwed me and my siblings. lol
It’s funny, if I bring anything up that is negative about her, she denies it. We grew up sleeping on the floor in crack dens, dude.
She got that selective memory. She still calls herself the most unselfish person she knows. Most of her decisions were for herself in some way. It’s truly fascinating really. She did the best she could with the mental capacity given to her. That’s all I can say I suppose.
I understand. Some mental illness do alter consciousness and therefore pople like that do not realize the way they are, since they lack consciousness (in a way). When I say forgive her, it doesn't mean to forget. Forgive is a very simple word but it is extremely complicated. to integrate. Forgiving means to let go of the feelings that hold you and spiral you down. It took me many years to understand it. "Forgive them because they do not know" is extremely profound but true. (I'm not a religious person). Though, spirituality is a power you grant yourself over your soul and feelings and it is associated with a higher state of consciousness it makes you an observer of your own feelings. It takes time, to modify oneself. You being aware of everything she did to you and/or your siblings makes you conscious, but that state of mind must be followed by something deeper (I say must because otherwise it's holding you down).I always try acknowledge my feelings (and therefore the past associated) and ask myself : Ok what about it now and what about my future? What's next? What do I do from it and how?
Apologies if my english isn't extremely precise. wish you the best.@@benbenben123ben
Thank you for making good videos, you're one of the only youtuber that's actually talking about useful things and not trying to play on people's weaknesses
From the outside perspective, it definitively looks like most people have their stuff together.
When we need HIM the most he returns.
Him ?
Beter than yesterday.
When we need HIM the most, he returns.
@@flowocode ...
This hit hard.
Honestly, if I were given the marshmallow test, I would pass with flying colors, and then deny the second marshmallow.
I hate marshmallows.
This is so SPOT ON! Like many viewers mentioned that the marshmallow experiment has flaws, I agree that delayed gratification is very benficial for our wellness. In this modern world of temptations, ease, comforts, access to information(lots of it "misinformation"), and choices it's a constant battles to fight our impulses to avoid suffering. Giving in to thoses impulses has led us in to a society of many unfulfilled people. Through my "awareness" of this phenomena, I try and delay gratification as much as possible with my crude mantra of "earn my shit"! Whether it be "earn my carbs"(If I want pizza that night then I make sure that I have had quite a bit of movement that day), "earn my time on social media"(I will do some yard work or clean the bathroom). I am by no means perfect and do give in to impulses(Like my wife just made brownies and I can't resist them hot out of the oven! Damn her!), but I do try and follow that lifestyle of "Earn my shit" ! I am self made and created my wealth and contentedness!
Thank you for such a well produced video on a topic I needed to hear. It's just about 2024 and I'm in the process of laying out some New Year's resolutions. This video will definitely be an influence!
@BetterThanYesterday I read that recently scientists revised this experiment. Children who decided to wait did not value marshmellow much because they were from richer families. And if your parents are richer, you will likely achieve more in life.
You've only ruined your life by being "average" if you feel like you've ruined it. I'm extremely happy being "average". 99.9% would "ruin" my life again.
I waited for 2 marshmallows and made 10 cents from the student next to me..I'm allergic to it.
the marshmellow test is so wacked. The people that put their kids in science experiement are either wealthier scicence nerds themesleves or people that need the money. Kids who grew up in homes that needed money probably suffered from food scarcity, or knowing that things don't last if you don't take them now. It's a hard way to judge.
Not necessarily, participants could be recruited from various schools and nurseries
Now I want to ask a question that seems to me fundamental: why do I want to be in the "top 1%"? Since I was a child I have read biographies and I have found a pattern in people who are in the "top 1%": many have been unhappy and did not hide it because of ideas they expressed in life (Tesla, Newton, Einstein, Carothers, Ampère, etc.), while others have been unhappy but tried desperately to prove that they were happy, surely to try to justify to themselves all the cost they had to pay to reach the "top 1%" (here I could give examples of living people, but some might interpret this as slander). If we separate humanity into groups of 100 people and take a group where you are, if you want to be in the "top 1%", you will have to make more sacrifices than the remaining 99 people, which will not necessarily make you happy in the long run (especially if you think that money will make you happy).
Oui mais, il y a des personnes qui n'ont pas le choix
Ils doivent faire des sacrifices
Comme les gens qui sont nés dans la pauvreté,..
Most have mistaken living a fulfilling life with being the 1% of most popular/rich people. It's fulfillment people desire, which doesn't need to be something outrages
I'm fine being in the top 25 or 50%. You're right, and top 1% typically refers to earnings or sales.
Being in the to 10% or 25% is already very good if we are talking abt the whole world@@toddspangler6669
It doesn't matter whether or not you are happy. Being successful will greatly improve other people's quality of life. If Einstein or Tesla took the lazy path, the world would be a lot worse, even if they personally would be happier. It's selfish. The same applies to you and me. Don't take the lazy path.
I got bullied during my entire childhood for being different, which I was short, korean, nerdy etc.
This video enlightened me
And it's in your interest to not bargain with unhealthy habits. For example, there's no healthy amount of cigarettes or cocaine. It's best to quit those entirely. Similar situation with pornography and many types of video games. Some video games are purely designed to get you addicted. There's no sense in trying to play in a healthy and controlled manner. Their pernicious design is so that they want to eliminate that possibility as much as possible and manipulate you. Many TV shows are the same these days.
The writer George Orwell made a related observation. He said when people have difficult lives they often make short term decisions to get them emotionally through the next 15 minutes that are often really bad for them long term when repeated regularly. Eg having an ice cream, a beer, a cigarette..
I think it was partly an observation mostly about how working class people dont tend to eat healthy less appetising food. I forget the name of the essay or book.
6:51 rewatching to make it Stick more, thank you so much for the examples, this is just taking back the control of ones own life ❤
This channel always make my mind goes kaboom🎉new ideas emerge!!!
I have to admit I was really strong before. After having some drama in my life I gained over 30kg fat. Two weeks ago, I ate about 3 chocolate bars a day. Hope that watching your videos make me loose some weight and start all over again. Your method shall be tested. I must succeed!
I used to eat chocolate bars too. But I think indulgences are a coping mechanism. I had personal issues going on that needed looking into with a therapist. I think emotions impact us far more than we realize. Chocolate does have mood enhancing properties but is unsustainable because it can lead to exacerbated mood imbalances and dependency.
@@michaelsmith6094yeah chocolate is so evil! I usually go with alcohol or heroin
People want this to be true but that marshmallow experiment has long been disproved
Failure to plan, have vision, and have willpower and grit to pursue it. That's most people.
Bro was struggling to make a high five💀
Unfortuately, all of what is explained here is even more difficult for people with ADHD.
"you never know if you gonna get hit by the bus tomorrow"
and because of this...do not go to the gym 30 days in a row without having a milkshake and burger....
nor should you indulge in milkshake and burger everyday....
should instead, alternate between work and indulgence as a reward...
So many valuable lessons from this video. Here is a short summary:
Discipline supersedes motivation. Marshmallow test study demonstrates that a great predictor of success is one’s ability to control impulses, thereby aiming for delayed gratification in lieu of instant gratification. To induce discipline, you can apply conditions and limits as rewards for instantly gratifying activities. For example, you only allow yourself to watch TV for 1 hour AFTER you have finished the milestone on work project.
One trick is to combine activities such that you get both delayed and instant gratification. An example is to restrict listening to music only when cleaning, or watching TV only while exercising.
Jealously is the thief of joy. Further, don’t demotivate yourself by comparing with people who seem to be successful despite indulging in instant gratification. Success has a long gestation period and results may take years to show.
If you do as the 99% of population, then you will be bound to mediocre results in the long run. To be in the top 1%, you need discipline (consistency) and innovation.
Another fantastic video that genuinely helps people :) thanks!
As a child I was always told „first work, then fun“ but when I‘ve done my work there was sometimes more work, because I have time now. If I delayed my work and did fun first, there was someone else who helped me at my work and I collected energy to do the work while having fun before.
Now I have to train myself everyday to overcome this habit. 😅
I love your knowledgeable information in all of your videos. I think you are doing a fantastic job 💪😊
The mashmellow test turned to have a wrong basics. The kids from poor family ( where the parents could not provide sweets to kids) turned out to be the ones that didn't resist the mashmellow. Which makes sense, that later in life, the same poor parents could not support kids school/career.
I never noticed instant addiction works as a double-edged sword.
I think it should be said that the marshmallow study didn't account for socio-economic status. It's a lot easier to withhold gratification when a marshmallow is a nice little treat whereas to others it's sustenance; a scare resource for them.
@@Lavender_Jibanyan This doesn't account for the possibility of not getting the 2nd one at all, so they'll take what they can get now and not risk it.
they were probably chosen rather randomly making it irrelevant to the study
I'm convinced that willpower is an emotion.
Someone told me this quote in my health and wellness class, “Work hard early in life so you don’t have to work hard later in life.”
Thank you bro, needed this
Glad to see you back
I really like your content and you've inspired me alot thank you.
Please could you do a video breaking down the process you follow to make this awesome videos step by steps from idea, research, scripting etc.
It will be really cool to have a video like that
So by watching this video, I am building my future and destroying it at the same time 😲
Really enjoy all your videos. Really an inspiration for me and my channel, hope to make videos as good as your one day!
Thank you for all the videos on the topic of self-improvement that you make. We love and appreciate you.❤
Thanks for watching! ❤️
This video helps a lot , made me realise many things i was doing wrong , i hope you continue to make such content, THANK YOU 😅
Well done video as always on this channel. Well thought out and helpful. Thank you.
Everything in moderation including moderation.
it was a very informative video... but I know this channel for a long time now and came back to watch it today and noticed that the narrator's pronunciation got MUCH better. This is maybe a small think goes unnoticed but, its a HUGE improvement and makes the channel even more empowering to know, you DO get better day by day--- Thank you and keep it up! :)
Better than yesterday changed my life . Thank You man.
Best Channel I've ever found thank god. You talk all the things that and also explains them with combinations of things Nice work.
Thank you thank you very much for this video
I love you videos! One question about this one. Isn't there always a chance that you can do everything "right" and still never be rewarded? Basically delaying gratification until you die because nothing ever worked out.
No, cause if you don't get much but you still get something which better than instant gratification. And you build more patience and think more rationally as you run less after the pleasure but now you think what is more better for you
@@CBDMX033RonitTare you saying it's impossible for there to be a circumstance where someone tries and dies before they get their desired outcome?
@@Makebuildmodify No what I mean is even they didn't got what they desired but they learnt something which will be useful in their life at some point the efforts will not go to waste
I don't think you're understanding the dead part.@@CBDMX033RonitT
@@CBDMX033RonitT THIS. The person it shapes you into becoming is often not considered in this sort of discussion. The goal gives you the direction (so it's obviously important as well), but the journey matters a lot more because of the person it's shaping you to be.
At least in my perspective!
Nice to see you back, mate. Cheers!
The content on the channel is so good, I wish I knew about it sooner.
Don't we get too old while we always think about delayed gratification without enjoying the moment.🤔. It is not completely true, but still😅.
Nice to have you back❤
the bosses/manager who is watching this right now:
"i see, since im such a good boss i shall delay my worker's paycheck for another few months so that they will be successful like me in the future" 🗣
best youtube channel doesn't exi...
This works for a few days and your back getting rekt everyday
Not if you put in the effort and design your own personal system where delayed gratification is effortless
growing up with adhd and not being able to access medication most out of finance and fear that ill become reliant on it and what would happen in worse finance situation. (just not viable when your poor yo)
you mention self negotiation and thats kinda interesting in that thats sort of how i view myself nowadays.
its really helpful to view yourself as if you are two or multiple entities in your head than one.
not like schizo or multiple personalities.
more like conflicting interests and conflicting attentions. which is probably because of my adhd somewhat.
but in any case doing this allows me to attempt to deconstruct myself, find my flaws, habits, etc.
sometimes i find there are weird uses for some flaws and habits.
like i find i learn and absorb more audio information when im drawing. so i always draw and listen to lectures.
if i try to focus in class like fully only Focus on the teacher i would get sleepy and that drowsyness is not what i want. but its what some part of me inside is doing.
yet that is also useful. if i really need to sleep? just watch a lecture and focus on the lecture.
nowadays instead of self depricating since i kinda separate myself from myself somewhat.
sometimes i call this self partitioning but theres probably similar more established concepts out there.
its honestly the best thing that has helped me alot.
one thing i did recently was i noticed how much i do tend to get invested even to fictional characters, and emotional investment is a weirdly powerful thing.
so i made a character or icon of sorts that represents things i want for myself.
and i would imagine myself chatting with this character as a way to sort of self reflect.
sometimes i would make a promise to that character and imagine them being dissapointed when i couldn't fullfill it.
but i also imagine joke around with that character, and sometimes i play a sort of "quick draw" game. this to maximize my investment in the character.
the character is designed to make cheesy jokes, and i found myself laughing more and more at cheesy humor, etc.
as weird as that sound its probably no different from say when a person talks to themself in 3rd person, when an athlete talks to themself in the mirror to hype themself up, or other such cases.
in this situation tho i applied a bit of how i found i tend to get attached to characters. even drew them to maximize my investment in it.
one final thing i learned after all is that.
emotional investment is rather useful once you figure out how to get yourself invested in something.
and how to identify things you are invested in without your awareness.
Wonderful video
I would love it if you'd do a video on the 3-bite rule. There's a science behind it, but I can't find any videos that go into that. Your videos are very engaging and I've learned a lot from them, I also love to share them with my clients.
It's not my goal to get ahead of 99% of people.
I just want to live a good life, be happy, and wish the same for everyone else-without anyone feeling the urge to get ahead of or be better than 99% of others.
Delayed gratification won't benefit you much without a clear direction to go in life
Even tho it’s still the a trait of the 3%
The answer to the question "How 99% of People Ruin Their Life" is not explicitly stated in the video. However, the video discusses the importance of delaying gratification and making choices that lead to long-term success rather than short-term pleasure. By resisting cheap temptations and focusing on building a better future, one can avoid the pitfalls that lead to a life of mediocrity or failure.
Not me binge watching this channel. 😅
How 99% of people ruin their life: 99% of people don't even get a chance.
ok but if i was reading books I would have never seen this video.
"if you read books instead of scrolling through social media..."
Me, scrolling through social media.
We wish, you can do more videos
The best trick I found to avoid doing nothing or falling into the temptation of doing too much leisure activities is to have an agenda and to strictly schedule my time. I use the virtual calendar on my phone so I get notifications which act like the parent you're talking about in the video. Scheduling makes you envision the day and you realize how much time you have or don't have for each activity. Grant Cardon says that the safest way to accomplish nothing is to have white space in your calendar and I think he is right.
I was in on the whole thing but as soon as you mentioned only listening to music while cleaning I was done.
Very interesting, the impact that environment plays is not always easy to correlate. I grew up in a world where on the one hand things were very constant and reliable - mom was always home, we always got dinner every night, birthdays and Christmas always happened. But on the other hand, no one was there for me emotionally-relationally, I was always very much alone in a large family (we all were), and could not rely on anyone else. If I wanted something, I had to figure out how to make it happen. This could easily lead to a tendency towards instant gratification, but quite the contrary, I learned quite on my own to chase after things myself. Impatience and an unwillingness to put in the constant, daily hard work has been the greatest impediment to achievement for me, which I have gotten a lot better at over the years, but somehow I did figure out how to work hard for a long period of time to achieve goals in my professional and financial life, and have excelled in those areas well beyond most others.
If I were the participant child, I'd wait for the researcher to come in, then say "You can have them for yourself", then leave the room😂😂. Now I'm SIGMA😮
Happy to see a new video! Thank you sirr❤
👌👌👌 This is so importante! 🙂 to follow up the 1st study. And good to be frugal! (And also realistic in the way the world is now, like before you might had money to buy a house if you worked hard and saved, now thats not enought some times you have to work "smart" in some way to be able to save up for the house within your lifetime. Notsaying late-gratif is bad, frugality is SO good! You just have to think ab how to apply this in your life specifically I think.
Great vid, I stopped halfway through and started a business I've been putting off for months.
Before I even watch this video, I find one thing kind of irritating about it, which I've also seen with other channels: the use of the word "you" in the title and/or thumbnail (in this case the thumbnail)
While it may seem silly or over-sensitive to most, but it has this kind of clickbait effect that implies that the person watching this video has the issues mentioned... and that watching it is like an admission of having such and such properties/way of life/whatever, even though often times that's not the case - for instance, I'd just like to watch this video educationally, and some people may just want a reminder or confirmation of what they know, while others may disagree with the contents entirely.
If you're confident in what you're saying and doing, there shouldn't be any need to imply some kind of flaw in your viewers to get them to click the video. And therefore, whether intentional or not (hopefully not), it can reduce credibility and integrity.
It could be worse if it was titled "Why You Aren't Successful" or something (which is funny because success is subjective/dependent on the criteria you're looking at anyway), but I digress: this channel has had some great videos in the past, so I'm a little disappointed to see it use psychological tricks like this.
Great content as always
Blud just described how binding vows work in Jujutsu Kaisen.
In conclusion, dopamine is not the pursuit of happiness. It is the happiness of pursuit.
Plzz keep on making such helpful videos
Kudos to you❤
Will do!
@@BetterThanYesterday❤❤
Watching from India ❤❤ thank you so much for this video
This ignores alot in how society works today. There are plenty of people who have no issues being patient and planning ahead. However, when never being given an opportunity, all of this comes to nothing.
Two generations have been betrayed, their futures stolen, by the thoughtless selfishness of older people and a different 1% that was born into wealth.
The word Meritocracy is no longer anything more than an empty excuse for a system that is no such thing.
You are correct about what you say, there is definitely no meritocracy anymore. You can create opportunities for yourself though by learning skills and being extremely frugal to build capital for the things you want. You can increase wages by shopping around for a better workplace which can mean both increased pay and better conditions.
@@redstarling5171 Only if you are incredibly savvy or lucky in this area. Or, more often, you have contacts offering the nepotism rout. Most never get the luxury to choose between jobs, despite stocking up on supposedly desired skills or education.
"Too little work experience." "Not the extremely specific version of this education we wanted." "Thank you for applying, [insert name here], but we have moved on with other applicants."
Then they complain that the recruitment failed because "Noone applied to the job", despite hundreds of people having done so.
Sure, you may be able to get into the ultra-specific education they want, spending years studying for that one job. Only to, after the graduation, find out that the job market have shifted yet again, making your hard earned education undesired or even worthless.
Very interesting and thought-provoking video. Thanks 😀
So in summery: train yourself to trust yourself
My name is Joe, and well above average! LOL
It is not that easy - many people (myself included) suffer from the opposite problem - always sacrificing today for tomorrow, and when tomorrow finally comes, it is sacrificed for the day after, and life is never fully lived. But the main point stands imho - gratification should not be impulsive, but rather planned.
Find some joy every day.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:29 🎓 *The Marshmallow Test by Walter Mischel is highlighted as a crucial psychological study, emphasizing the importance of delaying gratification for success in various life domains.*
01:57 📈 *Long-term tracking of children from the Marshmallow Test revealed that those who delayed gratification achieved higher success in education, health, and social skills.*
02:51 🔄 *The principle of thinking long-term over short-term is presented as a key to progress in life, with examples across financial savings, health, and education.*
04:18 🧠 *A study at Rochester University indicated that the ability to delay gratification is not purely inborn but can be influenced and developed through experiences.*
07:40 🛠️ *Strategies for improving the ability to delay gratification are discussed, including setting personal conditions and limits to balance enjoyment and discipline.*
Made with HARPA AI
This is the Cane and Carrot Principle.
Thank you for sharing 😊
You are good mindset brother💪