@@missmaryjanegreen let a 4 year old dictate what they want to do all day and then get back to me, lol. There are scores of psychological studies that back up the fact that children need structure, direction, and boundaries to develop into functional, healthy adults.
Thank you so much!! I needed this more than I would like to admit. 😬 My husband just walked in and said he had changed his mind about mowing our meadow today that I see through our home windows all day every day. Instead he was going to mow some obscure piece at the back of our 24 acre property. The old me ( like 15 minutes ago) would have jumped in and said all the reasons he should mow what we see not the obscure. This is going to be challenging. But I can see the future benefits for my own peace and wellbeing.
Oh my goodness, I'm laughing not at you but with you as I read this. You watched my video and the universe (or whatever you want to call it) dished you up an opportunity to put it into practice. You got this!
Yes, 100% this! I had a controlling mother and I had no idea how much it messed with my head. She died unexpectedly and I was basically a 47 year old child thrust into the world. It took about 10 years to deal with the depression and anxiety I had, not to mention the resentment. I’m finally discovering who I am and realising that this was all part of a much bigger life plan - you may or may not believe that, but I’m now grateful for the lessons.
YES to everything you just said! CLUE - EVERYTHING is part of a much bigger plan. When we can grasp that concept we can just relax about it all. So grateful you shared this!
are you serious? i have never seen your channel before and right after i just had a terrible controlling situation with someone, your channel is the first i see??? this is wild. this is one of the best messages i have ever heard in my adult life. I wish I could talk to you
I feel like you r in my head! I am that mom😢I needed to hear this! So hard wanting the best for your kids even though they are grown! When you said those words a light bulb went off! Ty! Could not have come at a better time! You asked what kind of videos we want somehow you just seem to know! My favorite are decluttering videos! Not into travel or cooking. Jamie your videos are powerful I didn’t even know I needed to hear! Keep them coming! I could listen to to you all day! Ty Soo much!
I'm so glad it was helpful! More decluttering videos coming, they will be sprinkled in amongst anything else I feel like sharing. I feel like I have 58 years of things I want to share so it is just pouring out in a random order. I appreciate you always being here and commenting regularly. Thank you!
Thank You so much for doing this video. As a Grandparent .I raised my grand daughter and she did great in school and very good with art . 12 grade became a night mare and no matter what I tried to do it was a hot mess finally I just gave up and (Let Her do what she had to do) It has been a long road . I felt guilt for a long time that she wasn't what I felt living a good life . Now I just listen and learning Let Her ... Thank you love and Blessings
Blessings to you! My wonderful Grandma helped me a lot through those years, I too was good at art .when I was going through those ''ugly'' years when I was wanting to turn away from family and be a free spirit, Grandma was actually quite easy going. I came through it by early 20's and eventually grew up well. I miss her (passed away) and her stability and acceptance she provided during those difficult growing uo years. I hope things go well. I have learnt since that it is healthy for teens and early adults to break away and become independent humans. It is not personal, just messy. I am sure she is going to be a lovely lady eventually.
I happened across you via RUclips recommended. I am so glad! We have so much in common omgoodness and I'm in North Carolina 😊 I have enjoyed listening to a like mine. ❤ Your awesome smart lady. You rock and you are the rock too.
Thank you for your honesty, I look forward to your videos, I can relate to everything you say, I’m close in age to you, dealing with more than I ever thought possible at this age. Watching you talk about relatable issues feels like I’m with a friend who is comfortable telling the truth, not making up excuses for what’s not right anymore ❤
That's the Al-Anon program which I did for 7 years. but you have to add something to "let them be" You're not RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR CHOICES !!!" You don't pick up after their choices .
This is such an important concept that can be so difficult to learn. Thank you for talking it out. I’m trying to live by it, but I mess up. I need to remember that if I mess up, I apologize and do better next time.
I promise you, you are way ahead of most people even if you are just trying to catch yourself. The more you do it the less you will fall into the trap. Life is a never ending lesson. We will never get it all right. Go easy on yourself. Thank you for sharing.
I agree with this within reason. For example, if someone else's actions could affect you or cause immediate danger then this theory wouldn't work. Or if someone is okay with your input and in need of some extra help I would not simply "let them." Otherwise I very much agree, let's not let someone else's free will affect us. They will experience what they need to experience. That's one less thing to worry about. 😊
It is hard when it comes from people we love and trust. Try not to regret but just instead ask yourself what you can learn from it. I personally do not beleive in regrets, it's like feeling guilty, a waste of energy. Thank you for sharing!
😬 Mostly agree, but . . . what about someone who starts cooking and DECIDES TO LIE DOWN WHILE COOKING AND FALLS ASLEEP? This happened while I was sleeping. I just happened to wake up and find the pot with smoke pouring out. The pot was so burned that the top fused to the bottom. I had to wake him up. I didn't hide my anger. Since I didn't die, he has since gotten a timer and stopped lying down while cooking. He was lucky we didn't have a fire because I woke up before it got to that. This is hard. I second-guess him all the time and I am exhausted. Ultimately, the answer will be to go my own way (not a romantic relationship) and hope he doesn't kill himself by accident.
My narcissistic mother was controlling and manipulative. Friend m an early age I became a chameleon. At 70 still catching myself falling into that pattern
Never too late, and just the fact that you catch yourself is HUGE! It is definitely difficult if you were raised with one or more narcissistic parents. Congrats to you!
My worthless father told me I couldn’t move out because I couldn’t make it without him telling me what to do, change my life ever better or worse but I did it 😅
Ok but if we let the kids do what they want they will eat doughnuts pizza sleep in play video games and never be ready for society. I’m talking under 18. Our job is to love them not spoil them
What would you do if your spouse says "I forgot" repeatedly or "I did not see it" when it right in front on them. 🤷🤷 I am very fearful all of the time and I am a control freak.
I am a recovering control freak, meaning, the knee jerk reaction still does pop up. I just would get on with your life. I don't know your husband or your situation so - hypothetically speaking - if that were me then I would stop asking him. In regards to that one aspect at least, he has shown you who he is, so let him be who he is and I would stop asking if it were me and then let it go. I wouldn't think about it or go over and over in my head why he won't do it. It is so much more freeing. Ask yourself why it bothers you so much and then do the internal work on yourself. You can't change anyone but yourself. That is what I would (and do) do. I hope that helps. Thank you for sharing.
Ok but if we let the kids do what they want they will eat doughnuts pizza sleep in play video games and never be ready for society. I’m talking under 18. Our job is to love them not spoil them . What about boundaries w husband? Let them go to the bar and drink and drive home? Let them commit adultery? Let the dog pee in the house? Let everyone dump all the chores on you? Let them spend all your money? Let them use you? You need to balance this with boundaries. Gods love is not unconditional. God does not forgive everyone unless they repent. The Bible says we are either children of Satan or children of God. That is why there is hell. You forgive when your brother repents. That is Jesus words.
When your child is an adult, yes. When you have a young child, it is your duty as a parent to guide and teach them.
I agree.
Red flags - you are the person she is talking to & you won’t accept it.
@@missmaryjanegreen let a 4 year old dictate what they want to do all day and then get back to me, lol. There are scores of psychological studies that back up the fact that children need structure, direction, and boundaries to develop into functional, healthy adults.
@@crazeekids9744 blah blah blah they are going no contact on you
@@crazeekids9744 going no contact after YOU have exploited them on RUclips.
Thank you so much!!
I needed this more than I would like to admit. 😬
My husband just walked in and said he had changed his mind about mowing our meadow today that I see through our home windows all day every day. Instead he was going to mow some obscure piece at the back of our 24 acre property. The old me ( like 15 minutes ago) would have jumped in and said all the reasons he should mow what we see not the obscure. This is going to be challenging. But I can see the future benefits for my own peace and wellbeing.
Oh my goodness, I'm laughing not at you but with you as I read this. You watched my video and the universe (or whatever you want to call it) dished you up an opportunity to put it into practice. You got this!
Mel Robbin’s has been talking about this. In fact, she has a new book coming out in January 2025, “Let Them Theory”. Can’t wait! Great video.
Yes, 100% this! I had a controlling mother and I had no idea how much it messed with my head. She died unexpectedly and I was basically a 47 year old child thrust into the world. It took about 10 years to deal with the depression and anxiety I had, not to mention the resentment. I’m finally discovering who I am and realising that this was all part of a much bigger life plan - you may or may not believe that, but I’m now grateful for the lessons.
YES to everything you just said! CLUE - EVERYTHING is part of a much bigger plan. When we can grasp that concept we can just relax about it all. So grateful you shared this!
are you serious? i have never seen your channel before and right after i just had a terrible controlling situation with someone, your channel is the first i see??? this is wild. this is one of the best messages i have ever heard in my adult life. I wish I could talk to you
First Time To Your Channel & I Really ENJOYED IT💝 Lots of Good Info, TY!!!
I feel like you r in my head! I am that mom😢I needed to hear this! So hard wanting the best for your kids even though they are grown! When you said those words a light bulb went off! Ty! Could not have come at a better time! You asked what kind of videos we want somehow you just seem to know! My favorite are decluttering videos! Not into travel or cooking. Jamie your videos are powerful I didn’t even know I needed to hear! Keep them coming! I could listen to to you all day! Ty Soo much!
I'm so glad it was helpful! More decluttering videos coming, they will be sprinkled in amongst anything else I feel like sharing. I feel like I have 58 years of things I want to share so it is just pouring out in a random order. I appreciate you always being here and commenting regularly. Thank you!
LOVE this video!!! One of the nurses I see at the Wound Center has a "Let Them" tattoo & she told me about it just a few weeks ago!!!
Thank You so much for doing this video. As a Grandparent .I raised my grand daughter and she did great in school and very good with art . 12 grade became a night mare and no matter what I tried to do it was a hot mess finally I just gave up and (Let Her do what she had to do) It has been a long road . I felt guilt for a long time that she wasn't what I felt living a good life . Now I just listen and learning Let Her ... Thank you love and Blessings
Blessings to you!
My wonderful Grandma helped me a lot through those years, I too was good at art .when I was going through those ''ugly'' years when I was wanting to turn away from family and be a free spirit, Grandma was actually quite easy going.
I came through it by early 20's and eventually grew up well.
I miss her (passed away) and her stability and acceptance she provided during those difficult growing uo years.
I hope things go well. I have learnt since that it is healthy for teens and early adults to break away and become independent humans. It is not personal, just messy.
I am sure she is going to be a lovely lady eventually.
I happened across you via RUclips recommended. I am so glad! We have so much in common omgoodness and I'm in North Carolina 😊 I have enjoyed listening to a like mine. ❤ Your awesome smart lady. You rock and you are the rock too.
Oh my heart! Many blessings Jamie xoxo
So very true. I had to learn this a few months ago. I like the two together. Let them and then let go.
Thanks! Me too! I feel like you can't really have one without the other.
Thank you for your honesty, I look forward to your videos, I can relate to everything you say, I’m close in age to you, dealing with more than I ever thought possible at this age. Watching you talk about relatable issues feels like I’m with a friend who is comfortable telling the truth, not making up excuses for what’s not right anymore ❤
That's the Al-Anon program which I did for 7 years. but you have to add something to "let them be" You're not RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR CHOICES !!!" You don't pick up after their choices .
Wow. Jamie. You're blowing my mind.
Move over Jordan Peterson, there is a women who has something to say too!
This made me take a deep sigh. Thank you.
This is such a powerful video.
Thank you! I really do appreciate the comments and thank you for being here.
Totally this xoxo
I love the art behind you!!
Thank you! It's one of my favs too in my house.
This is such an important concept that can be so difficult to learn. Thank you for talking it out. I’m trying to live by it, but I mess up. I need to remember that if I mess up, I apologize and do better next time.
I promise you, you are way ahead of most people even if you are just trying to catch yourself. The more you do it the less you will fall into the trap. Life is a never ending lesson. We will never get it all right. Go easy on yourself. Thank you for sharing.
I agree with this within reason. For example, if someone else's actions could affect you or cause immediate danger then this theory wouldn't work. Or if someone is okay with your input and in need of some extra help I would not simply "let them."
Otherwise I very much agree, let's not let someone else's free will affect us. They will experience what they need to experience. That's one less thing to worry about. 😊
Sometimes this applies but NOT across the board. This dangerous advice.
Thanks Jamie!
I have a staff at work - I use this frequently. Sounds crazy, right? But it works!! 😊
I know, it seems like if you do this everything will just fall apart, but that is our ego thinking we have all the answers. Thank you for sharing.
My mom and sister did this to me, and I have so many regrets as a result because I shouldn't have listened to them and done what I wanted.
It is hard when it comes from people we love and trust. Try not to regret but just instead ask yourself what you can learn from it. I personally do not beleive in regrets, it's like feeling guilty, a waste of energy. Thank you for sharing!
Best RUclips Video EVER!!
I have done this all my life without knowing what it was called, ❤
Boy, I wished I had been doing it all of my life but better late than never right?
Thank you for this!
😬 Mostly agree, but . . . what about someone who starts cooking and DECIDES TO LIE DOWN WHILE COOKING AND FALLS ASLEEP? This happened while I was sleeping. I just happened to wake up and find the pot with smoke pouring out. The pot was so burned that the top fused to the bottom. I had to wake him up. I didn't hide my anger.
Since I didn't die, he has since gotten a timer and stopped lying down while cooking. He was lucky we didn't have a fire because I woke up before it got to that. This is hard. I second-guess him all the time and I am exhausted. Ultimately, the answer will be to go my own way (not a romantic relationship) and hope he doesn't kill himself by accident.
Dementia defies all. Good luck not a fun spot to be in
Very helpful, thank you
My narcissistic mother was controlling and manipulative. Friend m an early age I became a chameleon. At 70 still catching myself falling into that pattern
Never too late, and just the fact that you catch yourself is HUGE! It is definitely difficult if you were raised with one or more narcissistic parents. Congrats to you!
Well...that really opened my eyes!!🙄
I hope in a good way!
Yes, very much!!😊
Jamie, stunning hair, so nice!
Love it.
TY
My worthless father told me I couldn’t move out because I couldn’t make it without him telling me what to do, change my life ever better or worse but I did it 😅
Ok but if we let the kids do what they want they will eat doughnuts pizza sleep in play video games and never be ready for society. I’m talking under 18.
Our job is to love them not spoil them
What would you do if your spouse says "I forgot" repeatedly or "I did not see it" when it right in front on them. 🤷🤷 I am very fearful all of the time and I am a control freak.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and presume she'd say : let them.
X control freak here 🙋🏼♀️
How’s that working for YOU??
I am usually in a pissy mood. LOL
"Let them" became my mantra yesterday.
I am a recovering control freak, meaning, the knee jerk reaction still does pop up. I just would get on with your life. I don't know your husband or your situation so - hypothetically speaking - if that were me then I would stop asking him. In regards to that one aspect at least, he has shown you who he is, so let him be who he is and I would stop asking if it were me and then let it go. I wouldn't think about it or go over and over in my head why he won't do it. It is so much more freeing. Ask yourself why it bothers you so much and then do the internal work on yourself. You can't change anyone but yourself. That is what I would (and do) do. I hope that helps. Thank you for sharing.
@@jamiemori58 Thank you 😀
Ok but if we let the kids do what they want they will eat doughnuts pizza sleep in play video games and never be ready for society. I’m talking under 18.
Our job is to love them not spoil them .
What about boundaries w husband?
Let them go to the bar and drink and drive home?
Let them commit adultery?
Let the dog pee in the house?
Let everyone dump all the chores on you?
Let them spend all your money?
Let them use you?
You need to balance this with boundaries.
Gods love is not unconditional. God does not forgive everyone unless they repent. The Bible says we are either children of Satan or children of God.
That is why there is hell.
You forgive when your brother repents.
That is Jesus words.