I have end stage renal disease. I have chosen not to do dialysis. I appreciate you and your channel. I have learned what it will be like in the end and i have no fear. I believe i will need to begin hospice care at some point this year - 2024. I currently live alone and my sistets come in a couple times a week to help with household chores. I still do my own laundry but am not sure how much longer that will continue. Thank you for the education you provide, to the patient and the family. ❤
My heart goes out to you. I am in the same situation and pray I am strong enough to live by my decision to forego dialysis. My sister lives out of state and I am not her responsibility. I pray we both meet the challenge ahead with diginity and grace. God bless
I'm in Stage 3 renal disease it's been at that stage for some time. I always am concern about things changing. I have a great nephrologist & keep up with all my appointments. I too don't want dialysis if ever that happens. I live with a sister but, even so I feel I'm on my own. I'm not her responsibility. Have other family members but, they have their own lives & never bother calling etc. Pretty sad really!
I'm 25 years old and healthy but I've already accepted death and think it should not be so taboo. That being said I hope all you guys make the best of your remaining time. I don't pray but I'm sending love and thoughts to you guys. I know whatever comes next will be great for you. ❤❤❤❤
My husband had his body donated because of his very rare disease and his doctor at Un. Of Florida wanted it and one of our funeral homes had the facility for that and so arrangement was made with them and that made it easy as we were in a small town. But the funeral home said about 4or 5 doctors came and did everything there. And the donor paper I received nearly a year later said they help over 97 researchers. That really helps to let you know people are trying to do something and may find a way to people who get this.
This is what both my husband and myself have signed up for. Donating our bodies to science after donating eyes, heart etc happens. It just so happened that the cremation place that took care of my father and sister is the same place that cremates the bodies after they remove what they want for science which is awesome! Worse case is if they don’t want him or myself for science, our friend will directly cremate us. We will be buried in a National cemetery with a small ceremony. It should only cost under $2,000.00. My sister and father was $1500 and that was with additional death certificates. This is so perfect for us. Doesn’t work for everyone, but it is a way to go. I just never knew all this before my sister.
@@aimeekubik8803Please check what requirements for becoming a body donor are. My mother was in NJ with no problem but there were certain issues where one does not qualify. BTW I will also become a body donor. However, NJ was at no cist, except shipping of my mother's ashes. Here in Florida they actually have a fee if you want to be a body donor. Imagine!?!
My sister died in a hospice facility one month ago. The nurses there were wonderful, caring for all of us along with my sister. When she passed all we had to do was push the call button for them to come in and verified she was gone. They removed the ileostomy and catheter tubes, positioned her arms and adjusted her blanket. They gave their sincere condolences and left the room to call the mortuary. We had about an hour with her until the funeral home arrived.
My poor husband just passed on 2.15..2024.after long battle of cancer..we had hospice at home .they were wonderful ❤.. I am devastated he was only57..our hospice nurses r still messaging me. Checking on me and my kids ❤.I pray for everyone who has lost a loved one..
When my husband passed away in March 2011, my sons and I used the bereavement benefits from Hospice of the valley. We attended Newsong for grieving children for 4 yrs. I was so glad we had that benefit. I still miss him every day 😢 😪 😔
This is helpful, I wish I had heard these before I went thru this. I was trying to do everything, oddly enough, I thought was gone, then he breathes again, then nothing, I was so unsure what's going on. He didn't want a cup of coffee, that was from aman who drank a pot plus each morning. I was knowing it would happen, but didn't expect it that day. A nurse was there the night before and was shocked as well. When I thought to call hospice, they took over, came made calls etc I needed them then as much as I had in the beginning.
Hospice can be such a great resource while a loved one is sick and when they pass.Most people DO NOT know what to do ,unless they have gone thru it before.Even then, it can be hard to actually deal with -even when you think you are accepting of the passing of your loved one.My moms hospice nurse was such a God send.I will forever be grateful for the comfort she provided.She was always so kind and respectful of our grief .She literally was an angel.It would have been so much harder without her.
@hospicenursejulie I'm my mothers caregiver, she has late stage dementia. We are 850 miles away from all family and friends so I'm totally alone. Her hospice nurse is AMAZING. She put me in touch with a sitter to give me a break a couple days a week. 8 hours a week is better than nothing. Just watched this video and it's the first time I've heard of services after a passing. I'll speak to her nurse about that tomorrow. I'm in a dementia caregiver support group on fb and have seen several people suggest your videos. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU HELP!!! Thank you so much❤
I've been watching your videos for a week now. My mom passed away recently at 66 as she succumbed to her chronic illness (COPD). I live halfway across the county and she had been hospitalized for a total of 5 weeks. I stayed up to date and talked to my Dad regularly and spoke to her when she was in a good space. About a week before she died she called me scared and nervous to have a procedure unrelated to COPD, she ended up in ICU that night. She didn't end up having the procedure and from that day on her health drastically declined. Then she started seeing things, pets we had, neighbors who passed away and would also claim to see balloons and words she couldn't make out. She called me at 4:30am and somehow with my phone on silent I woke up and answered. She told me she was dead. I was sad, I cried, I told her it was ok to go. She sounded angry, she mentioned she didn't see her parents. We said I love you and hung up. She was in and out of ICU for about 5 days. She wasn't able to use her phone anymore so my Dad took it home. The doctor told us she was having hospital delirium. I now believe she was starting her end of life stage. I could go on but long story short I found out she was moving to a hospice house the next day so I bought a ticket and flew in and when I got to her room around 4:45pm she acknowledged me for a few hours. She never looked at me but she would grunt and moan when I would speak to her. I held her hand and occasionally I would feel her fingers move. The nurse brought me a cot as we planned to spend the night. My dad needed to leave to tend to the pets so I hung out and played some music. I thought she was sleeping because she stopped making sounds and her eyes were shut. When he returned we got some dinner and ate in the dining room. When we returned her face changed dramatically, her skin was more smooth her lips were white. She was breathing so I just sat and watched her closely. I saw her take her last breath and then called for the nurse and she indeed had passed. I couldn't believe I watched someone die, I watched the person who I came from, who I have the biggest bond with die. I no longer had any fear, it was peaceful, beautiful and I truly believe she was waiting for me. I've learned so much from your videos. They have helped me understand everything I experienced and witnessed with my Mom. Thank you! You are an angel on earth. ❤️
It is such a gift to be there. My sister and I were there fir our mothers last breath as well. Same, it was so beautiful and painful all in the same 😢❤
We were with my Dad. We played "bagpipe music" on the tablet (Campbell was last name), sat by the bed, and held his hands. The nurse said he'd put out a huge breath when he passed. When he did, I screamed and hugged him. It turns out, as usual, my Dad had "the last word," because he did 2 more smaller breaths after that big one--like, "Don't say what I'M going to do when I pass." He did Hospice in a hospital--and even though this was sad--he was here when each of us came into this world, and we got to be there when he left it. We stayed just where we were until the mortuary person arrived.
Julie, this is absolutely essential information. I'm a funeral director and I can't tell you how valuable this information is. There are so many decisions that the family needs to make, and if we, as deathcare professionals can help alleveiate and make these decisions easier for the family, we are following our calling, serving our families to the best of our abilities. This is never an easy or even emotionally rational situation to go through. Grief, and the process of the family experiencing it in all it's various iterations, is why we exists. Personally, the reason I decided to acquire a degree and serve in the funeral industry was to be there for all of us who will, inevitably, experience the inevitability of death. It is NOT an easy situation to maneuver. No matter what philosophical, physical, emotional, or spiritual state you are in, death will challenge them all. My personal philosophy, principles, spirituality, and purpose, is to help every family, and individual of the family, to find their path through this most arduous experience. Thank you so much for shedding a needed light on this often "taboo" topic.
I have dealt with hospice many times. They were always kind and caring. When my husband was on hospice at home. I believe the night he passed the worst hospice nurse came to our home. She didn't say anything! Except ask me what his health problem was!! She didn't check him, didn't remove his catheter!! I was in shock at how she acted,after taking 2 hrs to come!! My husband came home on Tuesday night and passed Friday night!! I knew he was ill but I never dreamed he would pass so quickly!! I hope no one faces what I dealt with!!
I’m so sorry you dealt with all that but know it’s a blessing for them not to suffer and have to slowly drag through being sick and fragile. It kills you watching them slowly die. I just lost my mamma on the 8th and it’s hard because she was slowly dying for a whole year. It was horrible.
Thank you Hospice Nurse Julie for another informative video. Having lost my wife six years ago to cancer I can attest to the fact that everything you covered is 100% spot on. God bless you and all hospice workers. You are indeed angels among us.
reminding me to get that advance directive done. saw your video about death in victorian times. my partner died unexpectedly at only 33. found him in a warm room 5 days later.. he was lying peacefully in bed with his headphones on. i was shocked to see him, eyes open, mouth open. there was green stuff pouring out of his mouth. he was purple and cold. 911 said do mouth to mouth. i knew it was too late. but i loved him so i lifted his stiff 6 ft tall purple body to pour the green stuff out. it was way too late. his roommate was extremely disturbed by the decomposition. but she really wanted to comb his hair and wash his body, just by instinct. we communicated about how messy birth can be which helped. we did a little and then decided not to disturb him because we did not know what was legal. the coroner actually called later, to ask how the green stuff got poured out. we both were in shock. they packed him up onto a rolling table face covered and asked if we wanted to say goodbye. his roommate couldnt and ran to another room. i walked beside him with my hand on his heart. kept my hand on his heart til i could no longer reach it. i remained at attention guarding his soul til their vehicle disappeared. still have the pillow he passed away on, and alot of his clothes. took a very long time for that smell to disappear. it took a lot of walking, talking, for us to process. i named a star after him in his favorite constellation. his roomate began a tradition on his birthday, to gather for the "inappropriate talent show" which became the party of the season for a lot of people. im grateful for the experience. watching videos about death in other cultures was how i survived the first year. i became fascinated with the different practices. he was given his phd posthumously by the university, where he was months away from a phd in chemistry. he was going to change the world. the papers he published before his death are being used now, to develop batteries that will stores solar power. they got govt grants based on his work. sorry for the long story. its my mission to never let him or his work be forgotten. thanks for all you do
I thank you for sharing this. I won’t forget your story and so I won’t forget him. I too need to get my directive done because I’m getting close. I learned several new things from what you wrote and I have saved your entry for myself. Thank you again and I wish you comfort and happy memories. 💐
For those who are diagnosed as terminally ill, but still have some mobility and still have their wits about them- a HUGE gift that you can give your family is to go ahead and make some or all of your funeral arrangements yourself. This can range from simply writing it all down, to actually going to a funeral home and pre-paying for everything. My aunt did this and it was a HUGE gift to her grieving family not to have to make these decisions. I went with her and helped her select a casket and meet with the funeral home sales person. This was done 2 years before she actually died, but she was on oxygen and terminally ill with several issues. She even told us which dress she wanted to be buried in. Unfortunately, she died right when covid started, so we were unable to have the BIG funeral she had hoped, but we were able to honor everything else she rested and had a lovely graveside service.
My husband is in denial about being terminal he absolutely refuses to talk about his death and what we after his death should do. As it stands right now it's all going to fall on me and that's not fair at all.
My mom was transferred from an extended care facility to a hospice care facility. The nurses received her, got her checked in took her vitals etc. The lead nurse left to go up to the front office to contact me( as I live out of state and was flying out in the morning) she left two nurses in the room with my mom. Before the nurse left the room, she said that my mom had been smiling and chatting it up with them. Only about forty five minutes had passed since she had been checked in. One of the nurses ran up front and let the nurse know that she was needed back in my mom’s room. Her breathing had become irregular and there were long spaces of time between breaths. Then the nurse said that she took one last deep breath and she was gone. I guess she decided that she didn’t want to be in hospice, she wanted to be with Jesus. I can’t say as I blame her. I just wish that I could have made it there to say goodbye to her.
My husband was on AdventHealth Altamonte Hospice for about a month. They didn’t turn off his defibrillator or include the magnet to disable it. The nurse had to Google how to disable it and then leave to go to pick it up at the office. He suffered several life saving electrical shocks over a four hour period. It was absolutely horrific to watch this happen.
My mom died on 2/7/24 while on Hospice at home. The nurse had just left 30 min. before she passed. I called the Hospice office and told them my mom passed and they sent another nurse right out. That nurse confirmed she passed and then started removing pain patches and catheter. She then started disposing of the medications that she soaked in cat litter. While she was doing her job it gave us family members time to say goodbye. She then made the call to the corner and funeral home. While we were waiting for the funeral home to come the nurse asked if she could say goodbye to my mom and we all thought that was a touching request. The nurse and family all cried together. Later when all the family members that were present at the time talked about how they felt that it was good to see the human side of the nurse. Hospice nurses grew to be like family mostly because there were only three nurses. After all, we live in a very small community.
My husband died on August 30th and a navy veteran. Hospice did nothing. He was taken to the VA and held because of the holiday. Of course the Dr that needed to sign the death certificate and examine him, was on vacation. I had to return all the medicine to the VA. Hardest thing I ever had to do, he was 49, I was 63. Bereavement classes, I felt were also useless. The book "One Minute After You Die" was the most helpful and I strongly recommend it. God bless you all 👑🙏💞✝️🐾🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯
sad.....my mom just passed and her hospice team all showed up possibly knowing i was alone.after the nurse declared her dead within minites it felt like her hospice chaplain showed up and directed me to call my sisters while she held my hand then the social worker showed up and another office worker. they called the place i chose for her cremation and they were here in less than a half hour! now i will say im in a big city and both establishments were within 25 minute drive......but still i feel so grateful they all came and guided me thru this so hard tome- nomatter how prepared i was and knew she was ready for her home in heaven. They used cat litter and a medication crusher to get rid of her medication and the follwing morning they came to pick up the hospital bed and other supplies! i was thrilled it was out so quickly- seeing it here without her was very sad for me. i want to say this because its important! when we found out my mom had cancer at 87 ( and she had still been waitressing at a country club a few days a week. she was alwas so healthy n young spirited -i believe from her love of waitressing getting out and gabbing( loved talking) getting to work and see beautiful parties, weddings, ect...( like a wedding crasher her whole life as she worked at several resturants and thats how she met ny dad 58 yrs ago. the oncologist said she had 2 types of aggressive cancers and had to have them atleast 3 to 4 yrs! and at the time 86 shes still waitressing! she was loosing weight right after her mother died in 2020 at 105 of old age and she cut her hours to 2 days a week but they always needed her more!! when she hit 85 she was seeming to slow down we all just figured she was finally catching up to her age.( cause the waitresding was like a daily workout physically n mentally) i noticed her getting more tired also.but, again easy to think her age.she had her physical last jan.and the dr she had 25 yrs checked everything and again said- your healty as a 70 yr old.!( as u know cancer dont always show in blood work and im sure he also felt the weight loss n tired was just her age!) so at that age n weight she had no chance to try chemo or radiation. they said that would be kill her faster.so she was put on hospice last july. the dr.office sent us a hospice company that i just loved the nurse but when i asked to meet the chaplain he called me and we made an aopt for following week.he never showed but called 3 hrs later!( when your sitting home just waiting for a visit- its very anticipated and was upsetting to get such a late call.but infigured he may have had to go to a death or someone who needed him more. then he didnt show the next day that he said he would be here, then the following day he camled close to dinner time and i didnt want to answer as i told him at that time nights were not s good time the 1st time we spoke! i got very upset that this chaplain seemed to not give a whoot about my mom who i wanted him to say a prayer and meet her whike she was still somewhat aware. i trued calling the social worker to complain 3x and she also never returned my call ..im not usially a pesty person but this is my mom who i felt was now ny child and deserved better! i told the nurse and she too left them both a message ....i told her to let the hospice company know i didnt want that chaplain cause he showed me this was not the type of chaplain i would want if my mom ever needed or wanted him! the following week i got no call back from social worker and then i googled the hospice co.to see 2 stars! biy i wished i had looked that up 1st but i thought i had to go with who the dr sent. so i called another one with a 5 star rating and explained what happened and how upset i was. i learned i could switch and they would be happy to come and meet with us and go thru their setvices. they also sent everyone of my moms new hospice workers the 1st week! so i knew everyone as its c9nfusing at 1st wh9 to call for what. this company was truly 5 star as i started by telling you! they even called several x the first few weeks after she passed to ck on me! SO KNOW - if your not happy with your hospice team- interview others because your loved ones deserve the best during their last months!
My dad just died last Saturday in a memory care unit while on hospice. We had come to visit him and could tell the end was approaching so we all stayed and chatted with him and each other. When a family member who was a nurse said that it was very, very close we called in the nurse at the facility who at the same time called hospice. The nurse at the facility eventually did call the time of death. After that the hospice nurse came in and called the coroner, funeral home, etc. I didn't know what to do with the supplies but luckily the memory care unit had a use for all of the leftover items and took care of the medication as well.
Nursing homes or other care facilities may be interested in supplies. I had trouble getting supplies due to Christmas. So I ended up buying some myself. When my husband died, I ended up with tons of unused briefs, wipes, wash cloths etc. A nearby facilitiy gratefully took them as they have some patients that dont have insurance that pays for them.
I think hospice would be great for some people but for those of us who have lived fiercely independent lives it would be hell for us to die by inches and requiring people, especially family to care for our every need until the end. Personally I would rather plan and be in charge of my own death and to choose the time of my passing, having all the arrangements taken care of ahead of time. That kind of choice and freedom would really be a beautiful thing and is something that should be honored.
So, if you have a terminal illness, and need care, what will you do? If, for example, you are in a car accident, and are suddenly disabled and need care......or aren't conscious, who have you chosen to carry out your wishes? Not everyone gets to choose how or when they die. I'm 70+ yrs old & consider every day a blessing; my adult children know I don't want CPR or Life Support if I am suddenly incapacitated. Writing my Advanced Directive & forwarding a copy to Primary Dr., attorney, kids, and my chosen Health Care Facility. Hopefully, you've got your paperwork done, too. 🌷🦋
@OceanSwimmer if you are terminal, you go to Vermont. It's too long to explain in a post. But in the short, Vermont will help you end on your terms. And you can go back to your state and do it when you are ready. I have an incurable heart condition, and as soon as my Dr says I have x amount of time left. Vermont, here I come. Not going out on hospice care
Mom died in Hospice care November 13 2023 - Hospice was wonderful during the last few days of her life, she wasn't in Hospice care for more than a few days. But Hospice was wonderful, talking me through the process, helping with pallative care, and making sure Mom's final days were pain free and as comfortable as possible. Can never say enough good things about Hospice and Memory Care givers. They're the true heroes.
My mom transitioned on home hospice last March. The hospice group provided us with invaluable support! I personally “wasted” all the meds - warm water and Dawn dish soap. We were a little stymied by how to donate all of the supplies. Called multiple retirement homes and senior centers only to be told they could not accept items. We had 2 bed alarms and some other things that we thought could be used as “spares” until patients were able to get their own. Thank you, Julie, for sharing about this! We were ultimately able to find a Mission who gratefully accepted all donations but definitely something we’d not anticipated.
Julie, I have commented before. When my son died we were alone. I did not call hospice right away. I wanted time alone with my son. He died at 2:43 AM. After an hour or so I called hospice. A very nice lady came and declared him dead at 4:00AM. The first thing we did is to dispose of all the pain meds and flushed them down the toilet. She then said she was going to take of his body, I did not go in the room. We waited for the funeral people to come. It was almost 7AM before they got there. It was cold out and the men said they would cover him with a nice warm quilt. I said goodbye to my son. The nurse that came weekly was not comforting to my son. He did not like her. I have heard so many stories of how kind and comforting the hospice nurses were, but this one was not. Again, thank you for all the invaluable information you have share with us.
I know. I was surprised when the nurse told me to flush them. I always thought that it contaminated the water system. But I followed her instructions. @@taylorbarnett1199
Thank you, Julie!! I'm an HPCNA and find myself educating families as many times the hospice nurses are so busy they forget to fully educate. You got in all the points and I'm going to share this with some of my families!! Compassionately well done!! BRAVO!!
Julie, may God bless you for your work! I found your videos three weeks before my husband passed. You helped me prepare for his death, but also you taught me how I could openly talk with him and ease his fears. I will always be grateful for your caring presentations. He passed peacefully on Valentine’s Day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
For medical goods, that you dont know what to do with, commodes, walkers, rollators, crutches, etc. America legion, VFW, nursing agency as emergency donation from the agency until client can get one.
My brother in law passed at my house. While he was still up and about we went to funeral home and he took care of all his wants. We had hospice that got him a bed and a bedside commode. When he passed we called hospice. They showed up as I was flushing his narcs and she watched me do it. This was way back 10-12 years ago. I was an LPN that quit my job to take care of him in my home. I washed hes face and hands and let it just be. His eyes didn't close like the movies portray or his mouth didn't close. Family came in and sat until the mortuary came to get him. Evidently it was a pretty busy night and it took them about 4 hours to come and get him. I was not very impressed with hospice. I went to pharmacy to get his meds. I will always be honored for having him ask to come to my home to pass. It was a very amazing, peaceful feeling to come over my house at that time. Thank you for your videos. I'm sure they help "civilians" understand what is going on. God bless you for doing what you do.
Hi Julie. I want to tell you how grateful I am to have found you. I have never been on instagram. I just enabled it last week and the first thing that I saw was you. I don’t think that it was a coincidence. I have volunteered for hospice for ten years and you have taught me so much. My name is Alexandra. I volunteer for empath in Palm Beach Florida
My mom passed last Wednesday and watching Nurse Julies Videos along with other online, and hospice resources help me be prepared when my mom passed. I wasn’t scared, I hold her hand until she took her last breath. It meant a lot to me and I think educating ourselves on this inevitable process is essential and shouldn’t be so controversial. ❤
I am so grateful to have discovered your channel today. I lost a dear close friend of 45 years last summer who was so well cared-for by hospice services in my area. I am so inspired by reading the stories of so many people who have gone through this. My dear friend is very much missed by me and by his son and his grandsons and his former wife. They all stood by him and we all said good-bye to him on the morning of his death earlier that day. His son was there at the moment of his death. Hospice was such a great service to witness in my friend's last weeks. That was a big contrast with that of my mother and father who had both died 42 and 58 years earlier respectively in a hospital room with no one around who had predicted nor had helped our family prepare for their deaths. Thank you for your channel and thank you and your commenters for spreading the value and potential benefit of hospice for so many of us soon facing that part of life for our family members and for ourselves.
My mom has Alzheimer's Dementia Such a horrible disease Myself and sister take care of her at home She is on hospice final stages I wanted to say thank you sooo much for all your videos Julie They have helped me and my sister to be more prepared with whats happening to her Thank you
Two things I want to mention besides all of the good points that Julie made: Getting rid of the DME (beds, etc.) can actually help you feel better because having them around serves as a constant reminder of your loss. My mother died in her bed and every time we saw that empty bed we would nearly always break down in tears. After it was taken away we felt better. The second point is how Julie mentioned hospice care going on. This is not always true. They may claim that there will be care for the family, but even after enquiring, we never got so much as a single visit, even though we were told we'd get counselling if we felt we needed it.
I agree with your comment about hospice. I was told that myself and family would receive so many services after my mom passed in Dec. This was absolutely not the case at all. They never called to check on me. I always have to initiate to contact them to receive bereavement support. I eventually find my own support group which isn’t what I expected but it’s something.
So very sorry you experienced such awful service from Hospice. That is uncommon and certainly not the standard of Hospice. You do have the right to choose a different Hospice as they are all different.
My came fast. But was told might be longer. They asked if I had family that wanted to come. I didn’t. They picked up all the equipment, bed machines the same day which helped. I am still living with the guilt I was not in the room he had a bad night finally fell asleep so I went to sit in another room. I was checking in on him. He was still breathing and nurse was changing and adjusting him so I gave her that time but then she came to me and told me he was gone. I keep thinking I should have been there. His eyes and mouth were closed and he looked peaceful. But in my heart I wish I had been there. I did not know about the bereavement services . Thank you I will call them.
@@LamikaBarton Yes, my husband died last month, and I was told the same thing by Hospice, I haven’t heard one call from the hospice nurses that cared from my husband. 11:52
My brother was supposed to have a few months but suddenly died, actually before he got on hospice. I found him, it was unnerving! No plans in place! It took 2 weeks to get everything ready. Thanks to you even this was easier!
I am a retired RN, the hospice nurses I met over the years were so kind & supportive to the patient & family. My aunt died at home at the age.of 92. She was ready to die & had a DNR. It was all I could do not to initiate CPR, as I was most used to that. I closed her eyes but was unable to close her mouth. She was pronounced here at home. She died on her own. If we had that law that would have enabled her to end her life, she would have done that. She was a retired nurse too and did not want to go to the mourge as she had transported many patients over the years She was cremated as that was her wish and I had family & friends to a repasse at our home. With her ashes in a urn. My son wanted to take her remains to his home, but when I told him our plans she was left with me. When I die I want to be with her, so my son will take care of that. She was 92, with respiratory and mobility issues.
Thank you, Mrs. Nurse, for nice death videos. When my grandfather died, we see his ghost come out. It wss silver blue, smiling face, then faded away. He went to the heaven with God,
We donated all the supplies to a local personal care home. They were happy to receive them and we were happy knowing they would be used by someone who needed them. Thank you for this video.
Thank you So much Julie to educate and help us prepare for the end of life!! As the youngest daughter, 2 older bothers and elderly parents, I’ve been taking notes and helping us prepare for the inevitable. It’s all in God’s hands-but all your videos have been so informative and have helped me start a conversation, initiate a plan to be prepared . Ultimate goal is to avoid chaos and ultimately bring more peace to all when the time comes. No rush- but your videos have helped to eliminate alot of my own personal fears and accept death as a natural progression of life. Thank you
My relative was in assisted living and had a hospital bed, walker and wheelchair. I asked the director if anyone there needed those. She asked around and found residents who DID need them and gladly accepted them. Another thought is to call around to other assisted living facilities. Just be sure the equipment is clean and has NO cracks, or obvious wear and tear. Someone always needs a cane, walker, or rollater.
Thank You Julie for preparing me with your knowledge of what to expect while my Mom is passing away. I am thankful for Hospice and all the support and care they are showing myself (since I’m alone) during this difficult time. I just wanted to Thank You for all you have taught me. ❤
Thank you for sharing this info!! ❤ Had I had some of this info before Mom passed, it would have helped. To anyone reading this who needs it, sending many hugs.
I have end of life insurance with all my wishes and a mortuary in place. At 77, I’m still healthy but who knows. Wanted it to be as easy as possible for my family when the time comes.
I very much appreciate all these videos. This is my first time seeing a family member (my mother-in-law) go through the process of dying, so I'm trying to prepare myself. Just as of today, things really don't look good. My husband and his sister have, unfortunately, been through this before, when their dad died of cancer when they were younger. So they know what to expect and are more sad because she's their mom, while I'm more afraid, though we are all feeling both emotions and then some. But none of us feel alone.
Thanks for these videos. I'm watching/waiting as my mother has entered the active dying phase of her end of life. This has helped me keep a straight face and to be informed/informative for my family.
When my mom went into a nursing home and we were emptying her house, we had several packages of hygiene pads. We took them to a food bank and they gladly took them even though some packages had been opened. We were happy they did not go to waste.
I am now looking at hospice at a different view...I live in Canada as a hospice carer and we handle the death process so differently because there is no worry about cost or care
Thank you for addressing this. I agree that pre planning with a mortuary is always a good idea. I remember having wakes at home. As a child that was definitely "interesting." Finally, the adults would tell us to go outside and play quietly.
I really appreciate these videos ! Would love to gather a group to have open conversations about death and dying. Letting go of the taboo of talking about such. Preparing for the inevitable, no matter how far away that may "seem." In fact, the "further out" it seems the better, so that we can speak candidly about what is ultimately unavoidable.
Thanks for all your lectures. I only found this wonderful person .my wife passed in January 2023 and could have taken better care of and made things easier. 😢
I accidentally stumbled on your channel and I was immediately captivated by your knowledge and professionalism. You do a great job talking about death which is - in our culture - a taboo, terra incognita. For me death of a close relative is something so overwhelming, bizzare and incomprehensible that in the situation of witnessing death I'm paralysed and scared. I wish I'd discover your channel sooner. When my grandmother died I never truly understood what was happening with her at her final days, I wish I'd be more present, attentive and have more knowledge about the ways people die with out being "detached". Thank you for your work.
Julie, thank you for all you do! Your videos have been a godsend. I became the POA for a terminal friend, and while I have experienced death of very close loved ones, it has been awhile. Additionally, I needed to re-familiarize myseelf with the dying process, such as "actively dying". Your videos took the trauma out of the situation, and I honestly don't think I fear death anymore- my own included (one day) And seeing as the fear of dying was my biggest phobia, I cannot THANK YOU ENOUGH!!!! You are an angel!!!!
Very helpful comments and thanks. When my wife passed in a nursing home nearby after having MS for 26 years, I was surprised how much needed to be done. The finances took many months to sort out even with a valid will and advance health directive etc. Organizing the funeral took a long time. I got there in the end but it all took many months to do everything. I still occasionally get a sprig of rosemary from a park for remembrance and throw it in the water near where we spread her ashes as she requested. Not often. Just occasionally. Life goes on.
Thankyou Nurse Julie. I'm from the UK & I know some things maybe different but you've pointed out things that I wouldn't know. My dad is on palliative care at home. I'm doing the main of it at home with him. I just call nurses or Drs if I'm worried about things. My dad is progressively getting worse & he is now at the stage of being made comfortable. It's nice to have someone explain things clearly for when loved ones take their last breath. Thank you. I'm more worried about seeing him change differently & hopefully not going to suffer. I saw my mum dying & she had a peaceful death. I see death as peaceful ❤
My dad passed yesterday. I was the family expert on how my dad’s death progressed because of what I learned on this channel. Julie provided factual information that helped us make decisions in the moment and gave us comfort. ❤
I am together with you. My mom died last night. These videos helped a lot. I wish you the same things I wish for myself right now, peace, healing and rest.
I"m a former home hospice nurse and also took care of my mom and sister when they were on home hospice. I really find your videos so informative and wish there had been something like this when I was working (I"m 75, retired now) One thing I would suggest, as least it helped me, was once the person from the funeral home arrived, I left the room (sometimes even went outside) when the deceased was placed in the body bag; and I didnt' like seeing that, nor the body being wheeled out. I was more interested in connecting with their Soul at that point.
My stepdad was on hospice for only three days. They estimated two weeks. When he passed at 4 AM, it was shocking and the hospice nurse was there within 15 mins. The mortuary came 20 mins later and he was whisked away. It was all too fast. My poor mother had no time with him. Because he was to be cremated, she never saw him again. In retrospect, we should have asked for time with him. Live and learn.
Wow, this is incredibly helpful! When my mother passed from pancreatic cancer, she had a lot of medical supplies left in her home. I donated all the items to my local humane league, and they were over the moon thrilled with the donation! Just call beforehand to make sure they'll accept them .
My sister is in memory care and I’m the responsible party for her. When she passes I plan to leave as much as the facility will take, including her clothing. Everything else will be donated. I’ve been putting off making her arrangements with the funeral home, but this is a good reminder. She has early onset dementia, and doesn’t appear close to death, but you never know. When the time comes hospice will be involved. Thanks for your videos.
I live in Toronto and my mother is in hospice right now and kidney failure she did not want to do dialysis she's 88 years old I prepared everything ahead of time the funeral home what she wanted everything is taken care of it's not something that you want to do but you have to do it unfortunately bless you all out there that are going through this my heart and prayers are with you and your whole family fiorella❤
I'm glad that you read it you're such a beautiful woman my mom died August 8th they treated her like royalty and all those nurses were wonderful my son and I thanked every nurse that was there and we made them all cry and I just want to thank you also for doing the job that you're doing because we need nurses like you what's a beautiful warm heart God bless you ❤️🇨🇦
Our mom’s hospice made us make her arrangements while she was alive. I’m glad they did. Saved us a lot of money, i even talked the guy at the funeral home down 1000$ on casket. It made it smooth when she passed.
Thank you so much for your videos. My father just passed, and knowing what to expect ahead of time made the process much less scary. I understood what was happening and was able to comfort my family. Most importantly, I got be present for those final hours without the anxiety of the unknown or worrying that he was suffering. Truly from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
My wife passed in a long term care facility. The staff and everyone was great. But when she passed i was stunned at how fast they wanted me to get her body out of the facility. I was still in shock and grief. They didn't give me time to even think or figure out what to do. I was overwhelmed.
My wife was not in Hospice but died on the way to the Hospital. The Doctor had 0 bedside manners. Very abrupt with me. The staff was very cold and uncaring. I was left alone. Couldn't even find anyone to talk to. I dont even remember the drive home by myself. It was awful. I hope no one goes through that.
Very informative, as always. I think it would also be helpful to know about post-mortem care for people who want to donate their bodies to science and/or organ donation, especially what can maximize the value their bodies can provide to others.
My mother died on hospice in July. They were EXCELLENT!!!! They helped so much because myself & brothers fell apart. We had a difficult time with even before....hard to see her deteriorating. They just took over...we were paralyzed W/grief. Thank-U, hospice.
I unfortunately had the hospice from hell experience. My husband was in a hospital hospice unit. Matt died on New Year's Day on Jan01,2020. We didn't receive any support. There was only one support group meeting then Covid happened and I never heard from the hospice again! Thankfully, I found support!
My husband's nurse and paster showed up at my house the first month weekly checking on me. For his End of Life celebration they both attended, gave speeches, and stayed until the end. We bbqed in the park. So, Shannon{ooze}, and Mr. Paul, all my love. I would not have made it without ya'll support. Robert would not have been as calm if not for you 2.
I remember when my ex-boyfriend's 92 year old father passed away at home. It just felt so weird when the people came to take him out of the house on the stretcher. It just gives you a true feeling of finality.
My father passed away on home hospice care, and the nurse who was there was absolutely amazing. Wish I had been in a place to let her know how much we appreciated her help and kindness at the time.
When my Dad passed the hospice nurse and I did flush the meds down the toilet, we has a septic tank . The reason being that we had had problems with family stealing meds . I was not shocked at how verbal they were about arguing over who was going to get his meds , was so bad we almost called the police . I hope there are not that many families like mine was . It was terrible .
I’m going through this right now with my 90 year old mother. She has lung cancer and has been on hospice since last August. I moved in to care for her. We have had the most kind, loving and compassionate nurses. This morning they told me they expect she will take her leave within the next couple of days. Hospice is an absolute godsend.
My husband passed away last year after just 6 days in a hospice facility. My stepdaughter and I left that evening and we said goodbye. We’ll see you tomorrow knowing it could happened at any time. We headed home. A half hour later I was called and told my husband passed away. I had prepaid for his cremation, so there was nothing that we had to do they came, and they picked him up and they took him. He was cremated, and his ashes went out to sea The hospice center and the workers there were remarkable, kind, and loving , and were so wonderful to my stepdaughter and I and to my husband
Extremely helpful advice about getting duplicate death certificates at the time of death. As Nurse Julie said, you can't imagine how many places require official/original death certificates. Getting extra copies via your funeral home at the time they are taking care of your deceased loved one is MUCH cheaper than ordering extras later. In the state I live in, ordering an extra 10-12 death certificates at the time of death costs the same as getting ONE original later on. So, buy a bunch of them and store them in a safe place. You literally never know when you're going to be asked for one.
Thank you for these informative videos. We just went through this with a family member's death, and it was hard to find out what to do and what questions to ask because nobody really wants to talk about death.
Excellent comments and advice. I ordered 10 birth certificates when mom died and used 7...ss, bank, insurance cos, savings institutions, burial place. You need them, believe me.
I too find the multiple death certificates to be great advice. My wife of 30 years is an immigrant, 52 years old (I'm 65 with familial leukemia, but not yet on hospice), and she will be uncertain about many things surrounding my passing.
My husband died Jan 2024. So far the banks took a photocopy. Everyone else so far had us take a copy and send the copy via email. No one has asked to keep an original.
@@janetcarlson4923 I think it depends on the bank, etc. My dad's pension wanted original, life insurance wanted original, the life insurance also had stock and they wanted original. The lawyer that is setting up the probate wants the original. We ordered 12 because we didn't want to re-order.
I am so grateful that I was able to stay with my Grandma for four days in hospice until she passed. The hospital facility was fantastic. I would recommend to others.
Your videos have helped me so much I lost my nan/mom/hero this morning and watching your videos have helped me with the stages of activity dying. Thank you so much for your knowledge I lay my nan out before she left us thank you for everything ❤
This is really great info. Im glad i saw this. Ill save it so i can jot this all down. Just an FYI: where I live, meds can be dropped off with my police department. We just drop them into a secured box.
Your video was so informative. Thank you for sharing. Everyone should watch your videos before they need hospice. I know it would have helped me so much & I would have been able to make a few better decisions at the time.
After my husband passed I found a charity that would take all his ostomy supplies. They distribute the supplies to areas of the world that need them. So much better than trashing them.
Great info, Julie!! Thank you. My mother died in hospital care many years ago. My wife of 29yrs died at home, suddenly, 7 yrs ago. Granted my wife's death was sudden, but here's a few of the many things I learned. Dying at home may be the patient's desire but consideration for the family is often overlooked- i.e.that will ALWAYS be the room, chair, bed etc that so&so died in, are you, surviving family, ok with that. Thay's not an issue with hospice. My wife's body laid on my floor for 4 hours after she died (EMS, coroner, funeral home). On the other hand, I left my mother's hospice room at my leisure after her death. Plan as much as possible in advance! - from grave site to clothing for burial. Finally, it was SO helpful that my wife and I share a secure password app. After she died, I was easily able to close her accounts and adjust ones we shared.
Slightly off subject but there is a very good article in today's paper about the Carter's and it is a telling piece about how much Hospice has helped both Jimmy and helped Mrs. Carter. It is a national article not local so may be available even online. There was just a death in my extended family. He died in an inpatient Hospice facility. I have heard only wonderful things about the care he received in his last weeks.
I have end stage renal disease. I have chosen not to do dialysis. I appreciate you and your channel. I have learned what it will be like in the end and i have no fear. I believe i will need to begin hospice care at some point this year - 2024. I currently live alone and my sistets come in a couple times a week to help with household chores. I still do my own laundry but am not sure how much longer that will continue. Thank you for the education you provide, to the patient and the family. ❤
My heart goes out to you. I am in the same situation and pray I am strong enough to live by my decision to forego dialysis. My sister lives out of state and I am not her responsibility. I pray we both meet the challenge ahead with diginity and grace. God bless
I'm in Stage 3 renal disease it's been at that stage for some time. I always am concern about things changing. I have a great nephrologist & keep up with all my appointments. I too don't want dialysis if ever that happens. I live with a sister but, even so I feel I'm on my own. I'm not her responsibility. Have other family members but, they have their own lives & never bother calling etc. Pretty sad really!
I'm 25 years old and healthy but I've already accepted death and think it should not be so taboo. That being said I hope all you guys make the best of your remaining time. I don't pray but I'm sending love and thoughts to you guys. I know whatever comes next will be great for you. ❤❤❤❤
May God bless you and comfort you.
Bless you
My husband had his body donated because of his very rare disease and his doctor at Un. Of Florida wanted it and one of our funeral homes had the facility for that and so arrangement was made with them and that made it easy as we were in a small town. But the funeral home said about 4or 5 doctors came and did everything there. And the donor paper I received nearly a year later said they help over 97 researchers. That really helps to let you know people are trying to do something and may find a way to people who get this.
This is what both my husband and myself have signed up for. Donating our bodies to science after donating eyes, heart etc happens. It just so happened that the cremation place that took care of my father and sister is the same place that cremates the bodies after they remove what they want for science which is awesome! Worse case is if they don’t want him or myself for science, our friend will directly cremate us. We will be buried in a National cemetery with a small ceremony. It should only cost under $2,000.00. My sister and father was $1500 and that was with additional death certificates. This is so perfect for us. Doesn’t work for everyone, but it is a way to go. I just never knew all this before my sister.
I will most definitely donate my body, if they want it.. I want to help people, even if I am gone.
@@aimeekubik8803Please check what requirements for becoming a body donor are. My mother was in NJ with no problem but there were certain issues where one does not qualify.
BTW I will also become a body donor. However, NJ was at no cist, except shipping of my mother's ashes. Here in Florida they actually have a fee if you want to be a body donor. Imagine!?!
Another option for supplies: animal shelters and rescues. They are always grateful for the donations!
Love this! Yes!
Yes we buy the bed pads to use for puppy pads at second hand stores.
I would have never thought of that! What a great idea!!! Thanks for posting that comment!!!
Thanks for reminding me of that. When mama passes, I'll definitely donate what I can to them❤
My sister died in a hospice facility one month ago. The nurses there were wonderful, caring for all of us along with my sister. When she passed all we had to do was push the call button for them to come in and verified she was gone. They removed the ileostomy and catheter tubes, positioned her arms and adjusted her blanket. They gave their sincere condolences and left the room to call the mortuary. We had about an hour with her until the funeral home arrived.
I am so sorry for your loss.
My poor husband just passed on 2.15..2024.after long battle of cancer..we had hospice at home .they were wonderful ❤.. I am devastated he was only57..our hospice nurses r still messaging me. Checking on me and my kids ❤.I pray for everyone who has lost a loved one..
@@tammyr3255I wish you whatever brings you peace and comfort at this difficult time.
So very sorry for your loss❤
Sorry for your loss🌹🌹,I lost both my parents two years ago as well, again sorry for your loss,
When my husband passed away in March 2011, my sons and I used the bereavement benefits from Hospice of the valley. We attended Newsong for grieving children for 4 yrs. I was so glad we had that benefit. I still miss him every day 😢 😪 😔
This is helpful, I wish I had heard these before I went thru this. I was trying to do everything, oddly enough, I thought was gone, then he breathes again, then nothing, I was so unsure what's going on. He didn't want a cup of coffee, that was from aman who drank a pot plus each morning. I was knowing it would happen, but didn't expect it that day. A nurse was there the night before and was shocked as well. When I thought to call hospice, they took over, came made calls etc I needed them then as much as I had in the beginning.
Hospice can be such a great resource while a loved one is sick and when they pass.Most people DO NOT know what to do ,unless they have gone thru it before.Even then, it can be hard to actually deal with -even when you think you are accepting of the passing of your loved one.My moms hospice nurse was such a God send.I will forever be grateful for the comfort she provided.She was always so kind and respectful of our grief .She literally was an angel.It would have been so much harder without her.
My condolences🌹🌹🌹🌹
Ohhh I'm so happy you used the benefit- thank you for sharing - sending love
@hospicenursejulie I'm my mothers caregiver, she has late stage dementia. We are 850 miles away from all family and friends so I'm totally alone. Her hospice nurse is AMAZING. She put me in touch with a sitter to give me a break a couple days a week. 8 hours a week is better than nothing. Just watched this video and it's the first time I've heard of services after a passing. I'll speak to her nurse about that tomorrow. I'm in a dementia caregiver support group on fb and have seen several people suggest your videos. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU HELP!!! Thank you so much❤
You are not alone, God is with you always❤
I've been watching your videos for a week now. My mom passed away recently at 66 as she succumbed to her chronic illness (COPD). I live halfway across the county and she had been hospitalized for a total of 5 weeks. I stayed up to date and talked to my Dad regularly and spoke to her when she was in a good space. About a week before she died she called me scared and nervous to have a procedure unrelated to COPD, she ended up in ICU that night. She didn't end up having the procedure and from that day on her health drastically declined. Then she started seeing things, pets we had, neighbors who passed away and would also claim to see balloons and words she couldn't make out. She called me at 4:30am and somehow with my phone on silent I woke up and answered. She told me she was dead. I was sad, I cried, I told her it was ok to go. She sounded angry, she mentioned she didn't see her parents. We said I love you and hung up. She was in and out of ICU for about 5 days. She wasn't able to use her phone anymore so my Dad took it home. The doctor told us she was having hospital delirium. I now believe she was starting her end of life stage. I could go on but long story short I found out she was moving to a hospice house the next day so I bought a ticket and flew in and when I got to her room around 4:45pm she acknowledged me for a few hours. She never looked at me but she would grunt and moan when I would speak to her. I held her hand and occasionally I would feel her fingers move. The nurse brought me a cot as we planned to spend the night. My dad needed to leave to tend to the pets so I hung out and played some music. I thought she was sleeping because she stopped making sounds and her eyes were shut. When he returned we got some dinner and ate in the dining room. When we returned her face changed dramatically, her skin was more smooth her lips were white. She was breathing so I just sat and watched her closely. I saw her take her last breath and then called for the nurse and she indeed had passed. I couldn't believe I watched someone die, I watched the person who I came from, who I have the biggest bond with die. I no longer had any fear, it was peaceful, beautiful and I truly believe she was waiting for me. I've learned so much from your videos. They have helped me understand everything I experienced and witnessed with my Mom. Thank you! You are an angel on earth. ❤️
It is such a gift to be there. My sister and I were there fir our mothers last breath as well. Same, it was so beautiful and painful all in the same 😢❤
We were with my Dad. We played "bagpipe music" on the tablet (Campbell was last name), sat by the bed, and held his hands. The nurse said he'd put out a huge breath when he passed. When he did, I screamed and hugged him. It turns out, as usual, my Dad had "the last word," because he did 2 more smaller breaths after that big one--like, "Don't say what I'M going to do when I pass." He did Hospice in a hospital--and even though this was sad--he was here when each of us came into this world, and we got to be there when he left it. We stayed just where we were until the mortuary person arrived.
Julie, this is absolutely essential information. I'm a funeral director and I can't tell you how valuable this information is. There are so many decisions that the family needs to make, and if we, as deathcare professionals can help alleveiate and make these decisions easier for the family, we are following our calling, serving our families to the best of our abilities. This is never an easy or even emotionally rational situation to go through. Grief, and the process of the family experiencing it in all it's various iterations, is why we exists. Personally, the reason I decided to acquire a degree and serve in the funeral industry was to be there for all of us who will, inevitably, experience the inevitability of death. It is NOT an easy situation to maneuver. No matter what philosophical, physical, emotional, or spiritual state you are in, death will challenge them all. My personal philosophy, principles, spirituality, and purpose, is to help every family, and individual of the family, to find their path through this most arduous experience. Thank you so much for shedding a needed light on this often "taboo" topic.
Thank you for your care of the deceased.
I have dealt with hospice many times. They were always kind and caring. When my husband was on hospice at home. I believe the night he passed the worst hospice nurse came to our home. She didn't say anything! Except ask me what his health problem was!! She didn't check him, didn't remove his catheter!! I was in shock at how she acted,after taking 2 hrs to come!! My husband came home on Tuesday night and passed Friday night!! I knew he was ill but I never dreamed he would pass so quickly!! I hope no one faces what I dealt with!!
@CarolPauleyRogers I’m so sorry you had that experience. It sounds awful. 😢
@SunnyValentine1999 No I didn't complain. I was going through so much. My oldest sister also passed away about 10 hrs later.
I’m so sorry you dealt with all that but know it’s a blessing for them not to suffer and have to slowly drag through being sick and fragile. It kills you watching them slowly die. I just lost my mamma on the 8th and it’s hard because she was slowly dying for a whole year. It was horrible.
I’’m sorry to hear you went through that. Shame on that nurse, she should have never been so awful.
@@tracybrown5609 Thank you. She might have had a hard day. Who knows!!
As always, super informative. I am on my own, with no immediate family, and your videos are helping me plan for the inevitable. I am grateful.
Same here. Grateful for these videos. Very helpful and encouraging.
Thank you for being here ❤️❤️❤️❤️
You are not alone, God is with you always❤
Same here. All alone
Thank you Hospice Nurse Julie for another informative video. Having lost my wife six years ago to cancer I can attest to the fact that everything you covered is 100% spot on. God bless you and all hospice workers. You are indeed angels among us.
Hospice was so helpful to me with my Mom! I couldn't have managed without them!
Thank you!
reminding me to get that advance directive done. saw your video about death in victorian times. my partner died unexpectedly at only 33. found him in a warm room 5 days later.. he was lying peacefully in bed with his headphones on. i was shocked to see him, eyes open, mouth open. there was green stuff pouring out of his mouth. he was purple and cold. 911 said do mouth to mouth. i knew it was too late. but i loved him so i lifted his stiff 6 ft tall purple body to pour the green stuff out. it was way too late. his roommate was extremely disturbed by the decomposition. but she really wanted to comb his hair and wash his body, just by instinct. we communicated about how messy birth can be which helped. we did a little and then decided not to disturb him because we did not know what was legal. the coroner actually called later, to ask how the green stuff got poured out.
we both were in shock. they packed him up onto a rolling table face covered and asked if we wanted to say goodbye. his roommate couldnt and ran to another room. i walked beside him with my hand on his heart. kept my hand on his heart til i could no longer reach it. i remained at attention guarding his soul til their vehicle disappeared. still have the pillow he passed away on, and alot of his clothes. took a very long time for that smell to disappear. it took a lot of walking, talking, for us to process. i named a star after him in his favorite constellation. his roomate began a tradition on his birthday, to gather for the "inappropriate talent show" which became the party of the season for a lot of people. im grateful for the experience. watching videos about death in other cultures was how i survived the first year. i became fascinated with the different practices. he was given his phd posthumously by the university, where he was months away from a phd in chemistry. he was going to change the world. the papers he published before his death are being used now, to develop batteries that will stores solar power. they got govt grants based on his work. sorry for the long story. its my mission to never let him or his work be forgotten. thanks for all you do
He is not forgotten. He will live on with his work and the lives he changed. Sorry for your loss and the trauma you went through
@@taylorbarnett1199 oh.. thank you thats so kind
I thank you for sharing this. I won’t forget your story and so I won’t forget him. I too need to get my directive done because I’m getting close. I learned several new things from what you wrote and I have saved your entry for myself. Thank you again and I wish you comfort and happy memories. 💐
im sorry for your loss. they live on in their work and our memories, but it hurts a long time. stay safe.
For those who are diagnosed as terminally ill, but still have some mobility and still have their wits about them- a HUGE gift that you can give your family is to go ahead and make some or all of your funeral arrangements yourself. This can range from simply writing it all down, to actually going to a funeral home and pre-paying for everything. My aunt did this and it was a HUGE gift to her grieving family not to have to make these decisions. I went with her and helped her select a casket and meet with the funeral home sales person. This was done 2 years before she actually died, but she was on oxygen and terminally ill with several issues. She even told us which dress she wanted to be buried in. Unfortunately, she died right when covid started, so we were unable to have the BIG funeral she had hoped, but we were able to honor everything else she rested and had a lovely graveside service.
My husband is in denial about being terminal he absolutely refuses to talk about his death and what we after his death should do. As it stands right now it's all going to fall on me and that's not fair at all.
My mom was transferred from an extended care facility to a hospice care facility. The nurses received her, got her checked in took her vitals etc. The lead nurse left to go up to the front office to contact me( as I live out of state and was flying out in the morning) she left two nurses in the room with my mom. Before the nurse left the room, she said that my mom had been smiling and chatting it up with them. Only about forty five minutes had passed since she had been checked in. One of the nurses ran up front and let the nurse know that she was needed back in my mom’s room. Her breathing had become irregular and there were long spaces of time between breaths. Then the nurse said that she took one last deep breath and she was gone. I guess she decided that she didn’t want to be in hospice, she wanted to be with Jesus. I can’t say as I blame her. I just wish that I could have made it there to say goodbye to her.
Have had my end of life plans done for years and my kids know all about it.
❤Oh, you are in the minority BUT you are very smart, very kind to eliminate this pain/ confusion for your family!
I say BRAVO to you👏👏👏
My husband was on AdventHealth Altamonte Hospice for about a month. They didn’t turn off his defibrillator or include the magnet to disable it. The nurse had to Google how to disable it and then leave to go to pick it up at the office. He suffered several life saving electrical shocks over a four hour period. It was absolutely horrific to watch this happen.
Oh. I'm so sorry. I have no words. Except to send you love and my hope that you might find some solace from someone ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
My mom died on 2/7/24 while on Hospice at home. The nurse had just left 30 min. before she passed. I called the Hospice office and told them my mom passed and they sent another nurse right out. That nurse confirmed she passed and then started removing pain patches and catheter. She then started disposing of the medications that she soaked in cat litter. While she was doing her job it gave us family members time to say goodbye. She then made the call to the corner and funeral home. While we were waiting for the funeral home to come the nurse asked if she could say goodbye to my mom and we all thought that was a touching request. The nurse and family all cried together. Later when all the family members that were present at the time talked about how they felt that it was good to see the human side of the nurse.
Hospice nurses grew to be like family mostly because there were only three nurses. After all, we live in a very small community.
My husband died on August 30th and a navy veteran. Hospice did nothing. He was taken to the VA and held because of the holiday. Of course the Dr that needed to sign the death certificate and examine him, was on vacation. I had to return all the medicine to the VA. Hardest thing I ever had to do, he was 49, I was 63. Bereavement classes, I felt were also useless. The book "One Minute After You Die" was the most helpful and I strongly recommend it. God bless you all 👑🙏💞✝️🐾🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯
I'm sorry you had that experience when the VA.
I had a excellent experience with the VA
sad.....my mom just passed and her hospice team all showed up possibly knowing i was alone.after the nurse declared her dead within minites it felt like her hospice chaplain showed up and directed me to call my sisters while she held my hand then the social worker showed up and another office worker. they called the place i chose for her cremation and they were here in less than a half hour! now i will say im in a big city and both establishments were within 25 minute drive......but still i feel so grateful they all came and guided me thru this so hard tome- nomatter how prepared i was and knew she was ready for her home in heaven.
They used cat litter and a medication crusher to get rid of her medication and the follwing morning they came to pick up the hospital bed and other supplies! i was thrilled it was out so quickly- seeing it here without her was very sad for me.
i want to say this because its important! when we found out my mom had cancer at 87 ( and she had still been waitressing at a country club a few days a week. she was alwas so healthy n young spirited -i believe from her love of waitressing getting out and gabbing( loved talking) getting to work and see beautiful parties, weddings, ect...( like a wedding crasher her whole life as she worked at several resturants and thats how she met ny dad 58 yrs ago. the oncologist said she had 2 types of aggressive cancers and had to have them atleast 3 to 4 yrs! and at the time 86 shes still waitressing! she was loosing weight right after her mother died in 2020 at 105 of old age and she cut her hours to 2 days a week but they always needed her more!! when she hit 85 she was seeming to slow down we all just figured she was finally catching up to her age.( cause the waitresding was like a daily workout physically n mentally) i noticed her getting more tired also.but, again easy to think her age.she had her physical last jan.and the dr she had 25 yrs checked everything and again said- your healty as a 70 yr old.!( as u know cancer dont always show in blood work and im sure he also felt the weight loss n tired was just her age!) so at that age n weight she had no chance to try chemo or radiation. they said that would be kill her faster.so she was put on hospice last july. the dr.office sent us a hospice company that i just loved the nurse but when i asked to meet the chaplain he called me and we made an aopt for following week.he never showed but called 3 hrs later!( when your sitting home just waiting for a visit- its very anticipated and was upsetting to get such a late call.but infigured he may have had to go to a death or someone who needed him more. then he didnt show the next day that he said he would be here, then the following day he camled close to dinner time and i didnt want to answer as i told him at that time nights were not s good time the 1st time we spoke! i got very upset that this chaplain seemed to not give a whoot about my mom who i wanted him to say a prayer and meet her whike she was still somewhat aware. i trued calling the social worker to complain 3x and she also never returned my call ..im not usially a pesty person but this is my mom who i felt was now ny child and deserved better! i told the nurse and she too left them both a message ....i told her to let the hospice company
know i didnt want that chaplain cause he showed me this was not the type of chaplain i would want if my mom ever needed or wanted him! the following week i got no call back from social worker and then i googled the hospice co.to see 2 stars! biy i wished i had looked that up 1st but i thought i had to go with who the dr sent. so i called another one with a 5 star rating and explained what happened and how upset i was. i learned i could switch and they would be happy to come and meet with us and go thru their setvices. they also sent everyone of my moms new hospice workers the 1st week! so i knew everyone as its c9nfusing at 1st wh9 to call for what. this company was truly 5 star as i started by telling you! they even called several x the first few weeks after she passed to ck on me! SO KNOW - if your not happy with your hospice team- interview others because your loved ones deserve the best during their last months!
I'm so sorry you had that experience 😖😖😖. Sending you so much love
@hospicenursejulie
Thank you Julie 🙏 I've learned a lot from you. God bless you for all you do to enlighten us and all the families 👑🙏💞✝️🐾🕯
I'm sorry
My dad just died last Saturday in a memory care unit while on hospice. We had come to visit him and could tell the end was approaching so we all stayed and chatted with him and each other. When a family member who was a nurse said that it was very, very close we called in the nurse at the facility who at the same time called hospice. The nurse at the facility eventually did call the time of death. After that the hospice nurse came in and called the coroner, funeral home, etc. I didn't know what to do with the supplies but luckily the memory care unit had a use for all of the leftover items and took care of the medication as well.
You're a very caring nurse. I went to a grief support group sponsored by hospice after my mother died. It was the BEST help I ever got.
I wish everyone could read this comment!! I'm so glad you utilized the benefit- thank you 🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️
@@hospicenursejulie thank you!
Griefshare, my dad and I, when we were solo together.
Nursing homes or other care facilities may be interested in supplies. I had trouble getting supplies due to Christmas. So I ended up buying some myself. When my husband died, I ended up with tons of unused briefs, wipes, wash cloths etc. A nearby facilitiy gratefully took them as they have some patients that dont have insurance that pays for them.
I think hospice would be great for some people but for those of us who have lived fiercely independent lives it would be hell for us to die by inches and requiring people, especially family to care for our every need until the end. Personally I would rather plan and be in charge of my own death and to choose the time of my passing, having all the arrangements taken care of ahead of time. That kind of choice and freedom would really be a beautiful thing and is something that should be honored.
Vermont will help with that, and you don't need To be a resident. That is what I am going that route❤
@@lovesallanimals9948 Thanks for that information.
It’s MAID. Medical Aid In Dying.
So, if you have a terminal illness, and need care, what will you do?
If, for example, you are in a car accident, and are suddenly disabled and need care......or aren't conscious, who have you chosen to carry out your wishes?
Not everyone gets to choose how or when they die.
I'm 70+ yrs old & consider every day a blessing; my adult children know I don't want CPR or Life Support if I am suddenly incapacitated.
Writing my Advanced Directive & forwarding a copy to Primary Dr., attorney, kids, and my chosen Health Care Facility.
Hopefully, you've got your paperwork done, too. 🌷🦋
@OceanSwimmer if you are terminal, you go to Vermont. It's too long to explain in a post. But in the short, Vermont will help you end on your terms. And you can go back to your state and do it when you are ready. I have an incurable heart condition, and as soon as my Dr says I have x amount of time left. Vermont, here I come. Not going out on hospice care
Probably the best information you've shared for everyone. Thanks.
Hospital chaplain here. Very helpful & practical advice. Well done. Thankyou.
Yay!!! Thank you for all your service!!
Hospice was very kind to Me.
I appreciate your channel
Thank your
Mom died in Hospice care November 13 2023 - Hospice was wonderful during the last few days of her life, she wasn't in Hospice care for more than a few days. But Hospice was wonderful, talking me through the process, helping with pallative care, and making sure Mom's final days were pain free and as comfortable as possible. Can never say enough good things about Hospice and Memory Care givers. They're the true heroes.
Sorry for your loss. I lost my twin brother in November 2023. It’s not easy. My brother was in hospice for less than a week and he was gone.
@CindyShapa59 sorry for your loss as well. You're never ready, no matter how much you think you are.
My mom transitioned on home hospice last March. The hospice group provided us with invaluable support! I personally “wasted” all the meds - warm water and Dawn dish soap. We were a little stymied by how to donate all of the supplies. Called multiple retirement homes and senior centers only to be told they could not accept items. We had 2 bed alarms and some other things that we thought could be used as “spares” until patients were able to get their own. Thank you, Julie, for sharing about this! We were ultimately able to find a Mission who gratefully accepted all donations but definitely something we’d not anticipated.
Julie, I have commented before. When my son died we were alone. I did not call hospice right away. I wanted time alone with my son. He died at 2:43 AM. After an hour or so I called hospice. A very nice lady came and declared him dead at 4:00AM. The first thing we did is to dispose of all the pain meds and flushed them down the toilet. She then said she was going to take of his body, I did not go in the room. We waited for the funeral people to come. It was almost 7AM before they got there. It was cold out and the men said they would cover him with a nice warm quilt. I said goodbye to my son. The nurse that came weekly was not comforting to my son. He did not like her. I have heard so many stories of how kind and comforting the hospice nurses were, but this one was not. Again, thank you for all the invaluable information you have share with us.
Ugh- Candace- I'm so sorry. That's so hard. Thank you for being here and THERE!
You’re not supposed to flush meds. You turn them in to a medicine collection bank
I know. I was surprised when the nurse told me to flush them. I always thought that it contaminated the water system. But I followed her instructions. @@taylorbarnett1199
@@taylorbarnett1199Or, cat litter is easier if available.
Another excellent and informative video. Thanks to the hospice team, and all who provide comfort in these times. Angels on earth, no doubt.
Thank you kindly
Thank you, Julie!! I'm an HPCNA and find myself educating families as many times the hospice nurses are so busy they forget to fully educate. You got in all the points and I'm going to share this with some of my families!! Compassionately well done!! BRAVO!!
Julie, may God bless you for your work! I found your videos three weeks before my husband passed. You helped me prepare for his death, but also you taught me how I could openly talk with him and ease his fears. I will always be grateful for your caring presentations. He passed peacefully on Valentine’s Day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
For medical goods, that you dont know what to do with, commodes, walkers, rollators, crutches, etc.
America legion, VFW, nursing agency as emergency donation from the agency until client can get one.
My brother in law passed at my house. While he was still up and about we went to funeral home and he took care of all his wants. We had hospice that got him a bed and a bedside commode. When he passed we called hospice. They showed up as I was flushing his narcs and she watched me do it. This was way back 10-12 years ago. I was an LPN that quit my job to take care of him in my home. I washed hes face and hands and let it just be. His eyes didn't close like the movies portray or his mouth didn't close. Family came in and sat until the mortuary came to get him. Evidently it was a pretty busy night and it took them about 4 hours to come and get him. I was not very impressed with hospice. I went to pharmacy to get his meds. I will always be honored for having him ask to come to my home to pass. It was a very amazing, peaceful feeling to come over my house at that time. Thank you for your videos. I'm sure they help "civilians" understand what is going on. God bless you for doing what you do.
Hi Julie. I want to tell you how grateful I am to have found you. I have never been on instagram. I just enabled it last week and the first thing that I saw was you. I don’t think that it was a coincidence. I have volunteered for hospice for ten years and you have taught me so much. My name is Alexandra. I volunteer for empath in Palm Beach Florida
My mom passed last Wednesday and watching Nurse Julies Videos along with other online, and hospice resources help me be prepared when my mom passed. I wasn’t scared, I hold her hand until she took her last breath. It meant a lot to me and I think educating ourselves on this inevitable process is essential and shouldn’t be so controversial. ❤
I am so grateful to have discovered your channel today. I lost a dear close friend of 45 years last summer who was so well cared-for by hospice services in my area. I am so inspired by reading the stories of so many people who have gone through this. My dear friend is very much missed by me and by his son and his grandsons and his former wife. They all stood by him and we all said good-bye to him on the morning of his death earlier that day. His son was there at the moment of his death. Hospice was such a great service to witness in my friend's last weeks. That was a big contrast with that of my mother and father who had both died 42 and 58 years earlier respectively in a hospital room with no one around who had predicted nor had helped our family prepare for their deaths. Thank you for your channel and thank you and your commenters for spreading the value and potential benefit of hospice for so many of us soon facing that part of life for our family members and for ourselves.
My mom has Alzheimer's Dementia
Such a horrible disease
Myself and sister take care of her at home
She is on hospice final stages
I wanted to say thank you sooo much for all your videos Julie
They have helped me and my sister to be more prepared with whats happening to her
Thank you
Two things I want to mention besides all of the good points that Julie made: Getting rid of the DME (beds, etc.) can actually help you feel better because having them around serves as a constant reminder of your loss. My mother died in her bed and every time we saw that empty bed we would nearly always break down in tears. After it was taken away we felt better. The second point is how Julie mentioned hospice care going on. This is not always true. They may claim that there will be care for the family, but even after enquiring, we never got so much as a single visit, even though we were told we'd get counselling if we felt we needed it.
I agree with your comment about hospice. I was told that myself and family would receive so many services after my mom passed in Dec. This was absolutely not the case at all. They never called to check on me. I always have to initiate to contact them to receive bereavement support. I eventually find my own support group which isn’t what I expected but it’s something.
So very sorry you experienced such awful service from Hospice. That is uncommon and certainly not the standard of Hospice. You do have the right to choose a different Hospice as they are all different.
My came fast. But was told might be longer. They asked if I had family that wanted to come. I didn’t. They picked up all the equipment, bed machines the same day which helped. I am still living with the guilt I was not in the room he had a bad night finally fell asleep so I went to sit in another room. I was checking in on him. He was still breathing and nurse was changing and adjusting him so I gave her that time but then she came to me and told me he was gone. I keep thinking I should have been there. His eyes and mouth were closed and he looked peaceful. But in my heart I wish I had been there. I did not know about the bereavement services . Thank you I will call them.
@@LamikaBarton
Yes, my husband died last month, and I was told the same thing by Hospice, I haven’t heard one call from the hospice nurses that cared from my husband. 11:52
Your videos are great comfort for family members on hospice
My brother was supposed to have a few months but suddenly died, actually before he got on hospice. I found him, it was unnerving! No plans in place! It took 2 weeks to get everything ready. Thanks to you even this was easier!
I am a retired RN, the hospice nurses I met over the years were so kind & supportive to the patient & family. My aunt died at home at the age.of 92. She was ready to die & had a DNR. It was all I could do not to initiate CPR, as I was most used to that. I closed her eyes but was unable to close her mouth. She was pronounced here at home. She died on her own. If we had that law that would have enabled her to end her life, she would have done that. She was a retired nurse too and did not want to go to the mourge as she had transported many patients over the years
She was cremated as that was her wish and I had family & friends to a repasse at our home. With her ashes in a urn. My son wanted to take her remains to his home, but when I told him our plans she was left with me. When I die I want to be with her, so my son will take care of that. She was 92, with respiratory and mobility issues.
Thank you, Mrs. Nurse, for nice death videos. When my grandfather died, we see his ghost come out. It wss silver blue, smiling face, then faded away. He went to the heaven with God,
We donated all the supplies to a local personal care home. They were happy to receive them and we were happy knowing they would be used by someone who needed them. Thank you for this video.
Thank you So much Julie to educate and help us prepare for the end of life!! As the youngest daughter, 2 older bothers and elderly parents, I’ve been taking notes and helping us prepare for the inevitable. It’s all in God’s hands-but all your videos have been so informative and have helped me start a conversation, initiate a plan to be prepared . Ultimate goal is to avoid chaos and ultimately bring more peace to all when the time comes. No rush- but your videos have helped to eliminate alot of my own personal fears and accept death as a natural progression of life. Thank you
My relative was in assisted living and had a hospital bed, walker and wheelchair. I asked the director if anyone there needed those. She asked around and found residents who DID need them and gladly accepted them. Another thought is to call around to other assisted living facilities. Just be sure the equipment is clean and has NO cracks, or obvious wear and tear. Someone always needs a cane, walker, or rollater.
Support groups are the best! Family and friends are great but no one understands like another person going through what you are!
Thank You Julie for preparing me with your knowledge of what to expect while my Mom is passing away. I am thankful for Hospice and all the support and care they are showing myself (since I’m alone) during this difficult time. I just wanted to Thank You for all you have taught me. ❤
Thank you for sharing this info!! ❤ Had I had some of this info before Mom passed, it would have helped.
To anyone reading this who needs it, sending many hugs.
You are an Angel
I have end of life insurance with all my wishes and a mortuary in place. At 77, I’m still healthy but who knows. Wanted it to be as easy as possible for my family when the time comes.
I very much appreciate all these videos. This is my first time seeing a family member (my mother-in-law) go through the process of dying, so I'm trying to prepare myself. Just as of today, things really don't look good. My husband and his sister have, unfortunately, been through this before, when their dad died of cancer when they were younger. So they know what to expect and are more sad because she's their mom, while I'm more afraid, though we are all feeling both emotions and then some. But none of us feel alone.
Thanks for these videos. I'm watching/waiting as my mother has entered the active dying phase of her end of life. This has helped me keep a straight face and to be informed/informative for my family.
When my mom went into a nursing home and we were emptying her house, we had several packages of hygiene pads. We took them to a food bank and they gladly took them even though some packages had been opened. We were happy they did not go to waste.
I am now looking at hospice at a different view...I live in Canada as a hospice carer and we handle the death process so differently because there is no worry about cost or care
Thank you for addressing this.
I agree that pre planning with a mortuary is always a good idea.
I remember having wakes at home. As a child that was definitely "interesting."
Finally, the adults would tell us to go outside and play quietly.
I really appreciate these videos !
Would love to gather a group to have open conversations about death and dying. Letting go of the taboo of talking about such. Preparing for the inevitable, no matter how far away that may "seem." In fact, the "further out" it seems the better, so that we can speak candidly about what is ultimately unavoidable.
Thanks for all your lectures. I only found this wonderful person .my wife passed in January 2023 and could have taken better care of and made things easier. 😢
so sorry @
I accidentally stumbled on your channel and I was immediately captivated by your knowledge and professionalism. You do a great job talking about death which is - in our culture - a taboo, terra incognita.
For me death of a close relative is something so overwhelming, bizzare and incomprehensible that in the situation of witnessing death I'm paralysed and scared.
I wish I'd discover your channel sooner. When my grandmother died I never truly understood what was happening with her at her final days, I wish I'd be more present, attentive and have more knowledge about the ways people die with out being "detached".
Thank you for your work.
Julie, thank you for all you do! Your videos have been a godsend. I became the POA for a terminal friend, and while I have experienced death of very close loved ones, it has been awhile. Additionally, I needed to re-familiarize myseelf with the dying process, such as "actively dying". Your videos took the trauma out of the situation, and I honestly don't think I fear death anymore- my own included (one day) And seeing as the fear of dying was my biggest phobia, I cannot THANK YOU ENOUGH!!!! You are an angel!!!!
Wow- thank you- comments like these mean so much to me. Thank you for caring for your friend 💕💕💕💕💕💕
Very helpful comments and thanks. When my wife passed in a nursing home nearby after having MS for 26 years, I was surprised how much needed to be done. The finances took many months to sort out even with a valid will and advance health directive etc. Organizing the funeral took a long time. I got there in the end but it all took many months to do everything. I still occasionally get a sprig of rosemary from a park for remembrance and throw it in the water near where we spread her ashes as she requested. Not often. Just occasionally. Life goes on.
Thankyou Nurse Julie. I'm from the UK & I know some things maybe different but you've pointed out things that I wouldn't know. My dad is on palliative care at home. I'm doing the main of it at home with him. I just call nurses or Drs if I'm worried about things. My dad is progressively getting worse & he is now at the stage of being made comfortable. It's nice to have someone explain things clearly for when loved ones take their last breath. Thank you. I'm more worried about seeing him change differently & hopefully not going to suffer. I saw my mum dying & she had a peaceful death. I see death as peaceful ❤
❤️❤️
My dad passed yesterday. I was the family expert on how my dad’s death progressed because of what I learned on this channel. Julie provided factual information that helped us make decisions in the moment and gave us comfort. ❤
I am together with you. My mom died last night. These videos helped a lot. I wish you the same things I wish for myself right now, peace, healing and rest.
I"m a former home hospice nurse and also took care of my mom and sister when they were on home hospice. I really find your videos so informative and wish there had been something like this when I was working (I"m 75, retired now) One thing I would suggest, as least it helped me, was once the person from the funeral home arrived, I left the room (sometimes even went outside) when the deceased was placed in the body bag; and I didnt' like seeing that, nor the body being wheeled out. I was more interested in connecting with their Soul at that point.
My stepdad was on hospice for only three days. They estimated two weeks. When he passed at 4 AM, it was shocking and the hospice nurse was there within 15 mins. The mortuary came 20 mins later and he was whisked away. It was all too fast. My poor mother had no time with him. Because he was to be cremated, she never saw him again. In retrospect, we should have asked for time with him. Live and learn.
Extremely helpful and well done Julie. This is a tremendous service to people.
Wow, this is incredibly helpful! When my mother passed from pancreatic cancer, she had a lot of medical supplies left in her home. I donated all the items to my local humane league, and they were over the moon thrilled with the donation! Just call beforehand to make sure they'll accept them .
For the extra supplies you can put them in a Ziploc bag and put them in your first aid kit. You can also put some of the bandages in your car.
My sister is in memory care and I’m the responsible party for her. When she passes I plan to leave as much as the facility will take, including her clothing. Everything else will be donated. I’ve been putting off making her arrangements with the funeral home, but this is a good reminder. She has early onset dementia, and doesn’t appear close to death, but you never know. When the time comes hospice will be involved. Thanks for your videos.
I live in Toronto and my mother is in hospice right now and kidney failure she did not want to do dialysis she's 88 years old I prepared everything ahead of time the funeral home what she wanted everything is taken care of it's not something that you want to do but you have to do it unfortunately bless you all out there that are going through this my heart and prayers are with you and your whole family fiorella❤
I'm glad that you read it you're such a beautiful woman my mom died August 8th they treated her like royalty and all those nurses were wonderful my son and I thanked every nurse that was there and we made them all cry and I just want to thank you also for doing the job that you're doing because we need nurses like you what's a beautiful warm heart God bless you ❤️🇨🇦
Our mom’s hospice made us make her arrangements while she was alive. I’m glad they did. Saved us a lot of money, i even talked the guy at the funeral home down 1000$ on casket. It made it smooth when she passed.
Thank you so much for your videos. My father just passed, and knowing what to expect ahead of time made the process much less scary. I understood what was happening and was able to comfort my family. Most importantly, I got be present for those final hours without the anxiety of the unknown or worrying that he was suffering. Truly from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
My wife passed in a long term care facility.
The staff and everyone was great.
But when she passed i was stunned at how fast they wanted me to get her body out of the facility.
I was still in shock and grief.
They didn't give me time to even think or figure out what to do.
I was overwhelmed.
Thank you Julie .
My wife was not in Hospice but died on the way to the Hospital. The Doctor had 0 bedside manners. Very abrupt with me. The staff was very cold and uncaring. I was left alone. Couldn't even find anyone to talk to. I dont even remember the drive home by myself. It was awful. I hope no one goes through that.
I’m truly sorry for your loss.
Very informative, as always. I think it would also be helpful to know about post-mortem care for people who want to donate their bodies to science and/or organ donation, especially what can maximize the value their bodies can provide to others.
My mother died on hospice in July. They were EXCELLENT!!!! They helped so much because myself & brothers fell apart. We had a difficult time with even before....hard to see her deteriorating. They just took over...we were paralyzed W/grief. Thank-U, hospice.
I unfortunately had the hospice from hell experience.
My husband was in a hospital hospice unit.
Matt died on New Year's Day on Jan01,2020.
We didn't receive any support.
There was only one support group meeting then Covid happened and I never heard from the hospice again!
Thankfully, I found support!
My husband's nurse and paster showed up at my house the first month weekly checking on me. For his End of Life celebration they both attended, gave speeches, and stayed until the end. We bbqed in the park. So, Shannon{ooze}, and Mr. Paul, all my love. I would not have made it without ya'll support. Robert would not have been as calm if not for you 2.
I remember when my ex-boyfriend's 92 year old father passed away at home. It just felt so weird when the people came to take him out of the house on the stretcher. It just gives you a true feeling of finality.
My father passed away on home hospice care, and the nurse who was there was absolutely amazing. Wish I had been in a place to let her know how much we appreciated her help and kindness at the time.
When my Dad passed the hospice nurse and I did flush the meds down the toilet, we has a septic tank . The reason being that we had had problems with family stealing meds . I was not shocked at how verbal they were about arguing over who was going to get his meds , was so bad we almost called the police . I hope there are not that many families like mine was . It was terrible .
I’m going through this right now with my 90 year old mother. She has lung cancer and has been on hospice since last August. I moved in to care for her. We have had the most kind, loving and compassionate nurses. This morning they told me they expect she will take her leave within the next couple of days. Hospice is an absolute godsend.
My husband passed away last year after just 6 days in a hospice facility. My stepdaughter and I left that evening and we said goodbye. We’ll see you tomorrow knowing it could happened at any time. We headed home. A half hour later I was called and told my husband passed away. I had prepaid for his cremation, so there was nothing that we had to do they came, and they picked him up and they took him. He was cremated, and his ashes went out to sea The hospice center and the workers there were remarkable, kind, and loving , and were so wonderful to my stepdaughter and I and to my husband
Your husband waited until you both left 😢 to pass away,I have goosebumps writing this 💐🙏
@@jackieridley8465 yes he most certainly did despair us watching that. He always put me first thank you so very much.
Hospice orders helped me get all that in place. They were great
Great information as always❤
Extremely helpful advice about getting duplicate death certificates at the time of death. As Nurse Julie said, you can't imagine how many places require official/original death certificates. Getting extra copies via your funeral home at the time they are taking care of your deceased loved one is MUCH cheaper than ordering extras later. In the state I live in, ordering an extra 10-12 death certificates at the time of death costs the same as getting ONE original later on. So, buy a bunch of them and store them in a safe place. You literally never know when you're going to be asked for one.
Thank you for these informative videos. We just went through this with a family member's death, and it was hard to find out what to do and what questions to ask because nobody really wants to talk about death.
Excellent comments and advice. I ordered 10 birth certificates when mom died and used 7...ss, bank, insurance cos, savings institutions, burial place. You need them, believe me.
Do you mean you ordered 10 death certificates ?
@@CryMeARiver63 of course that's what she means
I too find the multiple death certificates to be great advice. My wife of 30 years is an immigrant, 52 years old (I'm 65 with familial leukemia, but not yet on hospice), and she will be uncertain about many things surrounding my passing.
My husband died Jan 2024. So far the banks took a photocopy. Everyone else so far had us take a copy and send the copy via email. No one has asked to keep an original.
@@janetcarlson4923 I think it depends on the bank, etc. My dad's pension wanted original, life insurance wanted original, the life insurance also had stock and they wanted original. The lawyer that is setting up the probate wants the original. We ordered 12 because we didn't want to re-order.
I am so grateful that I was able to stay with my Grandma for four days in hospice until she passed. The hospital facility was fantastic. I would recommend to others.
Thank you so much for this video. This is something not talked about much.❤
Glad it was helpful!
Your videos have helped me so much I lost my nan/mom/hero this morning and watching your videos have helped me with the stages of activity dying. Thank you so much for your knowledge I lay my nan out before she left us thank you for everything ❤
This is really great info. Im glad i saw this. Ill save it so i can jot this all down.
Just an FYI: where I live, meds can be dropped off with my police department. We just drop them into a secured box.
Thank you! And good to know!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Your video was so informative. Thank you for sharing. Everyone should watch your videos before they need hospice. I know it would have helped me so much & I would have been able to make a few better decisions at the time.
After my husband passed I found a charity that would take all his ostomy supplies. They distribute the supplies to areas of the world that need them. So much better than trashing them.
Another excellent video Julie!,very informative! Thanks!
Great info, Julie!! Thank you. My mother died in hospital care many years ago. My wife of 29yrs died at home, suddenly, 7 yrs ago. Granted my wife's death was sudden, but here's a few of the many things I learned. Dying at home may be the patient's desire but consideration for the family is often overlooked- i.e.that will ALWAYS be the room, chair, bed etc that so&so died in, are you, surviving family, ok with that. Thay's not an issue with hospice. My wife's body laid on my floor for 4 hours after she died (EMS, coroner, funeral home). On the other hand, I left my mother's hospice room at my leisure after her death. Plan as much as possible in advance! - from grave site to clothing for burial. Finally, it was SO helpful that my wife and I share a secure password app. After she died, I was easily able to close her accounts and adjust ones we shared.
I’m a nurse in a nursing home and this information is so helpful to me!!
Senior centers are a good place to see if equipment and supplies could be of use to others.
You are so informational! Thank you❤
Slightly off subject but there is a very good article in today's paper about the Carter's and it is a telling piece about how much Hospice has helped both Jimmy and helped Mrs. Carter. It is a national article not local so may be available even online. There was just a death in my extended family. He died in an inpatient Hospice facility. I have heard only wonderful things about the care he received in his last weeks.