@amberfuchs398 mine didn't even have the respect to tell me not to contact him anymore. He got his new supply to do it. I think that's called triangulation. He wanted us to fight over him. Didn't happen because I realize he wasn't worth it after all
My ex made wait her for almost one year cós she went live another city with her family in the pandemy. Long story short, she made me invest and wait most she Could and broke UP with me
When I first started looking into this, I felt the vampiric and demonic analogies were a little hyperbolic. But in fact they are very accurate. They truly are evil. They are souless. What a tragedy
@@ct00001they are demonic.the one I just booted out of my life was demonic.it was ugly.sad thing is she was the love of my life since high school,the re- kindle was a bad experience.yes it was a 46 year absent & I know I changed but she was off the wall.love her like no other,from a distance tho.
Be careful dealing with these people. They are very smart at hiding their malicious intentions. Never entertain thoughts of going back. They'll only hurt you more.
Look into Sam Vaknin's work. You didn't fall in love with them. You fell in love with an idealized image of yourself. The narcissist is nobody. There's no one there to fall in love with. It's truly all smoke and mirrors. It's such an epic mind game
@@motowngirl5891 this is the core of the truth. They never loved/cared/respected us in the past. Not in the here and now. And never will in the future. The only way out of their grip is to realize this truth. And not go into s fantasy/nostalgia trip. A nostalgia created by the lovebombing, mirroring of the narcissist. It was all manipulations to control the mind and emotions of the victim
I’m just over two years out of a narcissistic marriage. I still wake up sometimes with horror. It’s very hard to wrap your head around the fact that everything was fake. They just become the person you want and extract as much as they can.
You'll carry the scars forever but they fade and become something you don't need to tend, as life edges you away from them little by little their relevance ebbs away, smile a knowing smile that you survived and got away and re-find yourself, you'll wake up one day and you'll realise that they play no part in your daily life again, just be aware of another trying to enter your life, learn how to formulate what you've learnt about them ( the hard way ) and understand how they tick, they're actually a very basic form of life that doesn't take long to understand, take care 🙂
I walked away from a narcissist friend, moved to another state, and didn’t look back. Our ‘friends’ in common said she lost her mind and ultimately I think she lost those friends as well. I don’t know, because I refuse to ask and have even distanced myself from those people as well.
lol mine said before she left my apartment after I asked why she's going: "Because you didn't apologize properly". And that was after I apologized twice in manner I thought was honest. But I didn't want to find out what a "proper apology" might be in her eyes. I can only imagine it after she told me that her former ex-boyfriend criend infront of her to not break up with him.
They destroy their victims in the same way a lion stalks and kills an antelope. They know exactly what they're doing, and they truly feel nothing about it. It's just what they do. It's important to understand they were once a victim too. They really have no choice. Really and truly, the only move is to avoid them completely.
I’m officially one year NC from the Narc I know. Last year he gave me the silent treatment after I held him accountable for being an asshat. He’d done that before, going silent to punish and confuse me and it worked the first time because I didn’t know what he was. So when he did it again, I’m sure he felt super confident I would try to figure out how to make it right and chase him back into a conversation. As soon as he left, I left too. I blocked him on everything I could think of, I torched every bridge. It feels good to be on the other side now. Cheers to all who have walked away and stayed away. They never deserved you. ❤
I was single for the last 15 years and very happy with my life, never felt lonely...and 8 months ago fall in live with narcissist (I didn't know until I "met" fantastic Sam Vaknin🤭🤭). I was devastated totally when Mr. Perfect discarded me but I am much better now, more healthy and sleep like a baby... Even I still have problems to get him out from my head and I feel loneliness like never before 🙈 but I will work on myself day by day and hope forget that fantasy in my mind that wasn't real 💪
You can leave if you're not happy! Get TF out! Go back to your house! Bye Felicia. ✌️Then the chase begins and they start obsessing over you! Crazy making 😵💫 Also know your not the only one they're juggling in their Psycho Circus.
The Narcissist May Feel A Loss Of Control or Validation When The Person They Have Discarded Goes No Contact. This Can Trigger Their Need For Attention.
As soon as I blocked him and blocked access, I started feeling better so much faster. At two months, I feel pretty good. If I had started no contact sooner and blocked access sooner, I probably could have made this go faster by a month.
I struggled for almost 2 months after leaving my ex narc of 3.5 yrs. When the toxins started clearing my body is when I started healing. I saw what the person really was. Sucking me of my energy. Now after only 2 months I’m in a fighter mode. I love myself and don’t care about the ex. Yes, some days I ruminate but I know it’ll pass and that I’m in a much better place. What drives me the most if I stay in no contact and silent. The ex narc will feel it the most. I will never let someone have control over my life again. Pain is healing. Fight through the tough days but make sure you are getting to the place mentally to defeat the narc and win!
i’ve forgiven him in the past. i’ve looked over his faults and wrongdoings in the past. but i’m done, i met him when i was very young and i know what i want in life now. he just wants to keep me around whenever he feels he wants and that is disgusting. the way he discarded me he knew would break my heart and hurt me horribly. well guess what. changing my phone number and moving, i’m done, he always tries to come back, never again.
I broke up with my narcissist ex girlfriend 20 years ago and went No Contact 10 years ago, which included abandoning social media as well. A month & a half ago I returned to social media, and 3 days after she was already baiting me with indirect quotes that she'd post that attacked my character and insinuated that I had done things to her that she had actually done to me. She also tried the victim card and also the "I have mental illness so my behavior and treatment is excused/justified. I haven't broken No Contact and don't intend to, because I am simply over it and I refuse to accommodate her need for validation.
I don’t do social media and that is why. The ex girlfriend created dozens of fake internet profiles with Instant Messenger. I kept getting dozen of “invites” to chat with her. I did not take the bait. The harassment from her has been on-going for 16 years. Her Smear Campaign went after my family members, friends, and a co-worker. Malignant narcissists will make it their life mission to destroy everything in your life. Your call to stay in social media. Any info a narcissist can obtain on you, will be used against you.
Great talk. The narc. wants the upper hand but will flip to victim in a second. Its pointless for a real person with empathy to be in this type of situationship there is no depth or trust. Its a sad sitch.
It's very strange when it's a parent. I thought my Dad and I were close but when I set boundaries after my brother moved in with him, he completely changed. The last time I stopped by to visit I even noticed he had removed all of the pictures of me in the house. It's like he's trying to erase me. They are so extreme. They don't know how to compromise or empathize. I can't describe how weird it is to see this side of him after 40 years. I feel like I have no choice but to stay away from them because it's scary. It's not safe to be around people who don't live in reality.
I caught ex narc with new supply and they both denied messing around. He said she was his "aunt" (in her face) she was his coworker though. I left him a week later Sept 2nd, blocked him on everything. They are now together. Hoover by proxy was a week after I left, he was riding my dad's house 5 weeks later, I ignored him 😂😂 2 weeks after that he calls from unknown number "desperate" need to meet with me because "he had something he knew I wanted so bad"(an old workers compensation check he had since the week I left). I knew his game, (new supply caused this hoover, triangulation trick). He was smiling from ear to ear when I pulled up, he gave me the check and was trying to tell me something new supply said about me😂😂😂I totally ignored him and got in my 🚗 💨💨💨✌🏾✌🏾 he was saying "hold up, hold up, let me talk to you.🤣🤣🤣 Boy bye, no conversation period😂😂 I know new supply had a bad day that day after she was the reason for the hoover😢😢😢 The smear campaign, the gang stalking, granddaughter playing on my phone has been horrible.
She called a couple of days ago asking for the turtle back, and I told her no, and she began to tell me . I couldn't take care of it, and I told her I was not doing this. " She hung up and then txt me later, saying," Wasn't trying to upset you . I didn't even txt her back . This is someone who said she cared for me but was willing to put me down 😂
I hope so! I dumped the narcissist in over three months ago and he finally tried to hoover me by text a few days ago. I didn't respond. This fool thought I was going to chase him and be available to him on his terms. I shocked him with my indifference and ignoring him!!! 😂
I live a few blocks from my narc friend, I even saw him spending the block since I went no contact. It’s a point where I said, I’m tired and I’m not playing his games no more. I moved on by healing. I ❤myself to much to go down that kind of hell.
You're so right... My friend asked me if I still had feelings after a month went by.... I said yes I feel my shoulder and back neck and jaw ... My feelings I hope go away very soon and after that ... That guy will still be an asshole. I told my friend ❤
The reason this happens is because in their mind the victim belongs to them forever. When they discard us it’s never permanent. They can do a hoover 10 years later. In the mind of the narcissist the victim is like a video game they where tired/bored playing. They put it on the shelf ( the discard), and find a new game ( the shiny new object fallacy/addiction of the narcissist). But in the future they might want to play the old game again. And if they find out the game is missing. The rage/anger is on. In their mine the victim has no sentience/personality. It’s only them who has a soul. All others are just objects or actors playing in the movie about them. So the concept of the discard beeing permanent is wrong. The discard is more like they put the victim on « hold». So they can harvest supply by the victims feelings of pain from no closure, and waiting for the divine narcissist to turn their attention to the victim. Their superiority complex , lack of empathy ( can’t sett them selves in the victims shoes), sadism ( enjoyment of the pain of the victim). Is the core of their patology
@@Freethkr the hardest part to simply observe their actions. And see that they are like a robot. Always following the exact same patern. They may look different, have different names, from different cultures, age, sex, status and so on. But all they are about is 1: control 2: harvest attention at all cost 3: sadism ( the enjoyment of others suffering) 4: self obsession It’s realy mindboogling. Only about 1-3% in the population have « narcissistic personality dissorders) , but the leading experts in the world ( DR Raminy, H.G Tudor) thinks that the number of « highly toxic» individuals are about 1/6 ( 15-18%). And in some environments where there are alot of power and attention to harvest like the media, politics, finance it could be even higher!!. Stay safe!
@@shirlspark_stardust the narc expect the codependent empath to never learn boundary’s. Or about red flags. Even after 40 years. And sorry to say in most cases they are right 😭😭😭 ( the victim stay a codependent)
I can't believe you named EVERYTHING what is just going on with my life in video 7 days old.... she is cheating with my friend, smearing me behind back, infiltrated my friends, work... using old dog to subtly blackmail my family just everything possible to ruin me after I gave her EVERYTHING including really lots and losts of money all time in many past years and most importantly my whole hearth....
Yeah well and that's what you get when you let someone disrespect you time and time again. We all learn alot from Narky. No boundries NO self love and No self respect. No confidence No self esteem and certainly No strength or smarts. You got conned used and abused and took it. Why would you do that?? Your lacking simple basic human traits. Narky just goes on your beaten to a pulp not much left to be had. Been there you need to work on those traits man...
@@RandallGlatt I had strong moral center toward good things that is probably why she discared me. I never let her to talk me into doing malitious things myself. BTW she killed the dog and when i wanted grave for him she let him be cremated...
So sorry you're in the thick of it. All I can say is keep learning about narcissism. Watch videos like these on a regular basis after a while you will go back and see where you missed the red flags. You'll start noticing how similar your narc is to everyone else's. The same tools and tricks to get you hooked and keep you there. But, you will also learn things about yourself about what made you the perfect victim for a narc. It's hard to accept but it's the only way you can truly overcome and understand why it happened. Bc you can't really do anything about the narc but you can work on yourself. You can grow and learn from this experience and make yourself narc proof!! Stay strong and stay safe.
Oh Dear ~ Dont Drive your Car in Reverse ~ Dont Let Your Soul or Spirit or 💜 Drive in Reverse Either!! My Opinion is "If im waiting for him to come back" there's Something wrong with Me 😔 Yes I have thought " What could he do " !?!? To make Me want to go back!? 🤔 Well All the Things he Didn't want to do!! Put the Drugs Down #1 ,Get Therapy #2 And last but Not least #3 Grow Up.These things Will take Alot of Time & Effort ~ Im Sticking with the 6 month No contact Either way 🎉I mean really* I Always called Him "B" Bee's are busy taking from one 🌹 to another 🌹 and if you Disrupt their process ~ You get Stung ~ Look at this ~ i have Always known ~ Yet i didnt realize what a NARCISSIST Really was, Until Now 🕊️ Please Don't wait to hear from them ~ its Your Choice of course ~ But the Sting & bites are" Not Worthy " Thanks again to anyone reading this ~ You are Worth So Much More & this is coming from a "Bee" Keeper , I Thought the Honey 🍯 was the Sweetest thing that I'd get Stung over & over , Decades Worth & Here I am ~ 7 weeks Today No Contact* The process of Calming the 🐝 to even get the Honey is Alot of work ~ the smoke out 💨 the head to foot Safety Gear , Leave that to the Professionals!! Im not a Bee keeper 🐝
I’m hoping that applies to my situation, even though he caused a reverse discard after he chose his emotional affair partner over me and our children. We’re now divorced after being separated for 2 years, it’s still upsetting considering I spent 22 years with that heartless man. He is withholding something from me, I guess that makes him feel powerful in a sick way…they are absolutely disgusting. Thank you for all your content Joe, it has helped me to understand all the emotional abuse I unfortunately enabled for far too long.
So the best strategy is to let them think they have destroyed you so they won't contact you again but actually go on and thrive without them 😂 Its true what they say then. The worst thing you can do is to totally feel indifferent towards them, it absolutely kills them
Hi Joe, Great content. I little off of the subject but one thing I noticed after being destroyed by 2 narcissists in my life, one when younger and one when older is their clumsiness. They both moved awkwardly like dolls and although they were both very clumsy and spastic, they claimed to be very athletic. It is like they cannot stand being in their own skin or bodies and seem very detached from their bodies and move very mechanically. I used to think to myself about both the females that they seem like dolls the way they move. I have seen this in 2 females and one male narcissist that I spent a lot of time around.
so what happens when you go no contact and delete social media so they can’t keep tabs on me? i was discarded for someone else but they hide it like i’m dumb and wouldn’t know. i been silent, i don’t react, no contact, don’t socialize with any flying monkeys. completely disappear. why do a narcissist purposely try to see you in public but then look uncomfortable with new supply then never show back up. what was that about? it’s been over a year and I’ve never hoovered
I went no contact bout 5 days she claim she drove 3 hours stalk harass me kept drivin around my house stake out around my house and when i left start chasing after me with car ran me off road dang near got me in accident chasing me smh and after final discard a year later she showed up at my job lookin for me this was a different job from when i was with her i was workin with a family member only thing i can think of he told her where i worked since he was one of her flyin monkeys smh
I found out the hard way of my little sister being one I knew she had mental illness but not far for what she did to me to use me as a stepping stone and putting our Dad in the middle of it all take my roommate too it’s just crazy
I'm trying to divorce mine, he sent me three conditions by which he is controlling, 1st one is "forgive and forget" no forgive me or anything. He mentions forget if he unknowningly hurt me. He wants to make sure he can secure the assests for himself. He also manipulated my whole family against me.
Narcopath ran off 10yrs ago, he remarried, haven't heard or seen him since, never once tried to contact him although I was ridden with cptsd, my kids keep in touch with him, I think he's on the hunt again for fresh blood.
“ harem garage means that they’ve got a lot of people to run to for a hook-up; so say for instance that he has a girlfriend and he cheats, he has other women, on the side, that he’s playing as well. Sometimes the others know this and they don’t care. So it’s like a harem but called a garage probably from an old saying, he just wants a place to park his car. A place to flop and/or use a woman for anything: sex, money, home cooked meals, a place to flop, etc…
Their normal routine is disrupted, so usual supply may be unavailable, they love to ruin or unsettle people during happy or family times, you may have been left isolated and alone so at this point it can rub salt in the wound... Probably a couple of other deranged reasons as well.
@@killjoyredux8361 Yeah, its a routine for my narc ex to hoover when it's Christmas and New Year, plus my birthday is close to those dates too.. But, I just want to know if it happens to other narc relationship survivors too?
@@reyrey981 yes it does...it's a recognized pattern. Not all, but happens with enough people to be a documented part of the 'process'. I got one last holidays but not yet this year as I think she knows that I know what she is
I just got hoovered one week before Christmas after I discarded him and went no contact over three months ago. I thought I was one of those mentally strong women he wouldn't dare hoover, but I was wrong. He did! Maybe out of boredom, no supply late at night, had an argument or break up with current supply...who knows? With these entitled idiots who think we're privileged fools to put up with their BS!!!!
@@killjoyredux8361for sure this is the reason .they become all sappy and emotional and then as soon as things are back to it's regular schedule,you're off the schedule!!!
Hey joe i have a question for you. Before our relationship started i didnt know anything about narcissist people. So i had a girlfriend and we dated like almost 2 months. In the end she discarded me and asked me to be friends with her i said no to her she became angry and started to compare me with her exes bla bla. Anyways then i went NC immediately. After discard i learned she was a narcissist. Does this make me the one who got away ?
I don't think your dealing with Narky. I think she really wanted to be friends because of too many weenie boy moves. Let's discuss the One That Got Away. How could you be the one that got away if she just wants to be friends. The one that got away has self love, self respect, is confident and strong. These traits equates to grade A supply if in fact tried tested and proved in front of her eyes. Remember Narky wants those traits from you. The one that challenges her doesn't react. Puts up boundry when disrespected. Now having seen all these traits now compliment her she'll freak out the supply is so good. It's how she feels cuz you in real life posses these. That's rare grade A diamond 💎. Now your very valuable rare and hard to get at. She now sees you as a challenge your unpredictable also. The one who got away plays hard 2 get and also may reject her love bombs a few times. Your not dealing with Nark here she would have tried to destroy you when discarding. The more destroyed you are the bigger the boost or high. She wants those above-mentioned traits their more valuable than money. She thinks If I could aquire those traits everything would work out for her and she'd be OK. She wants to be normal but with good quality traits. Despite what your friends or whatever say she is narcissist they don't really know or even understand it. It's just a word thrown around. She probably is tired of getting rejected cuz she only wants that very things friendship. Too many weak weenie boy moves which destroys her attraction to guys. And now is rejected as a friend. Why can you not be friends are you butt hurt or something? I would go and apologize to her and be just that friends. Once a woman has lost respect for a guy it's a rap. Just take what you learned and work on those principles self love, self respect, confidence, strength, smarts. She'll respect you immediately some for making that step towards friends I can guarantee 💯. And once you become friends she'll tell you where you messed up in her losing attraction. Now your friends and plus you've learned something. That's NOT Nark dude. She's upset because NO one can accept her as her. Guys get mad and frustrated not getting in her pants...
@@RandallGlatt i understand why you think this way. Then let me explain why did i think that she was a narcissist. After 3 weeks later when we were having a good conversation she started to devalue me she insulted my body she started to yell, scream all the bad things you can think of and there was no reason for her to say those words or behave the way she did. İ told her that's not a normal way to treat your boy friend. But she didnt want to listen me and she threatened me leave then i said i am going to leave if you continue to behave like this. she scared and she apologized beg me to stay with her. this shitty relationship continued until the discard. So tell me my friend is she a narcissist or not ?
Last time I talked to her this is what happened. She was at work I said I wanna come see u and walk u home or have dinner. She said not tonight. Towards the end of the night she is double texting me to figure it out what I was doing… I said I’m home, she is like I’m going to have a drink, I said with who she don’t tell me… I said sure I wanted to see u but u chose who u share ur time with… 2 hours later she asked for an Uber to go home so I send her the Uber she calls me to ask where is the Uber then she said hold up and put me on mute… just because I asked why she put me on mute she threatened me to leave and blocked me because I’m over doing it… she she stop texting me so I panic and go to see her… when I get there I explained what bothered me… the fact that she knew I wanted to see her and she still chose to be with Someone else so she snaps at me and say it’s because “ I don’t care I don’t care” I just said this is the last time u see me so she started following me as I walk away trying to get me an Uber… I said no so I walked her home and I left. Next day I texted her no reply…. So I just stopped texting her she hasn’t blocked me…. But I decided to not contact her anymore…. It’s so hard to not text her but I know she won’t reach out… I’m trying to not contact her.
Don't contact her. When ever you find yourself caving in go watch a video or two about NPD like this one. Going back only prolongs your suffering. Whatever you saw or were shown that made you love them is an illusion! They, the person you fell in love with doesn't really exist. When you truly realize this you will go through a grieving process as if they actually died. Then you will tell yourself are you really grieving for an imaginary person? And snap out of it!!! Stay strong and stay safe!!
I feel like he has some very psychic sense if I’m up to something like he’s tracking me even over the internet but I have got a secret phone number new number but I still sense him watching
My ex was able to keep tabs on me because we had young kids. But I divorced him when I found out about the rebound relationship. I was sure that I would never want him back.
Hey Joe, Just checking in and letting you know that lots of us are still listening to you and to let you know we appreciate and respect your insight and contribution towards these psychological issues. I think its a modern western issue. If you look at the stats on relationships they are dire amd in the pan. Women think they are men now but they are not. Men do not understand this lol.
Why do they devalue someone that they wanted n were benefiting from you other than his way of individuating from his own extremely narcissistic mother that still lives with three grown sons who are all sick while she plays non stop victim that she’s looking after all her adult sons collecting a cheque from them all
what if you find out that he is bisexual and hid that from you and that is why he got rid of me......I loved him for 12 years.......and he never card and was a sadist.
I did what the title of the video says.with my 'mother ' and my ex. You wont believe what they do, together as a team, to me. Day in day out im in psychologische thriller. Im sorry, my englisch is not that good.
currently discarded by rejection, she specifically asked me to not contact her anymore, it's been almost 2 months. No block on Whatsapp, but it's really hard not to chase her. I know that after two weeks she already had a new one. it's been 6 years and 4 major breakups and I am hoping for a hoover, going crazy for it :( Always asking myself if this was the final discard :/ Thing is I have a daughter from another woman she could never accept that and asked me to see her less, currently I have her 100% of the time, I am fearing that this might be the reason for the final discard :(((
@@derrick.crawford1005 Thanks for the reply, yes it's really hard, more so because in the past there always was a comeback and before she asked me to not contact her she was talking about marriage and kids and then always suggested I was wasting her time and manipulating her, just because I said I currently don't have money for a an engagement ring but in December I would have...
From personal experience, I can tell you that no matter what you do to try to please the narc it will NEVER be good enough! Do NOT under any circumstances alter your relationship with your daughter for the narc! NO ONE is worth risking the bond that you share with your child! Sounds like she (the narc) was demanding that you make a choice - either her or your child!! Even if you had given in to her demands, there will always be some other requirement that you must meet if you want to try to keep the narc "relationSHIT" alive! It's NEVER enough! You will NEVER win no matter what you do! Always remember that the narc has an "agenda" for everything they say/do! It's ALL about THEM & what they can take from you! They will do whatever it takes to benefit THEM - it's NEVER about YOU! They are TAKERS - never GIVERS! Do yourself a favor & RUN! They are poison & will destroy you IF you allow it! Sorry this is so long but if I can help save someone else from the horrible trauma & heartache I experienced, then so be it! Hope this has helped you in some way! 😊
It is100% unreasonable, unloving, unkind and narcissistic to make you reduce your relationship with your daughter to prioritise her. Do you think your daughter wouldn’t pick up on this? Do you think this is normal behaviour? Would you do this to her if the boot was on the other foot? Start running from this toxic abuser and don’t look back.
She wants to isolate you from everything that brings you Joy, if you are happy she is not , so please put you child first , and enjoy you little human. ☘️
Hey guys I had 2 boys with my wife let me tell u about my story Dec 11th we split up and got kicked out Dec 15 she starts new relationship And rubs it in my face all the time for days In the end i said i have a new partner Even thou i dont But because i said that She wont now let me see the kids But her new man can have it all
I worked with mine and she was "split" with her husband. We had about three months of fun and then she discarded. In the beginning I told her I wanted nothing to do with her but a casual time. She basically begged a relationship and after what they do I agreed because I started falling for her and she knew I wanted kids so she would bring her daughter around constantly. After the discard she said she still wanted to be friends but she was getting back with her husband. This is after she love bombed the hell out of me. Future faked. And wanted me to do a certain thing that would put a child in her. The whole time talking nonstop trash about him. I told her there wasn't a chance we could be friends because it'd be wrong for her to be with him and us still be talking. She didn't like this. So over the course of the next few days flung herself all over another guy at work. Constantly flirting with him in front of me and laughing.. walking by on the phone talking to another guy at 3am so I'd hear. And staring at me and lingering by where I'd be. So I gave her a choice, leave me be or I was going to contact the husband. She went into a narcissistic rage and we cut ties. But it didn't help. Over the next two months she got worse with the stalking, flirting, and phone calls to someone else. I couldn't eat, or sleep. Couldn't stand going to work because of how much it hurt. After a set of days where she went overboard and the final draw being her standing behind a female coworker of mine and I while we were talking only for her to run off when we turned around I had to do something. So I went to HR and told them I was going to talk with her husband and that they needed to be ready for an issue if it took place and a sit down with her. After I had a conversation with him (he said he was happy I told him because it wasn't the first time and he was tired of the lies and manipulation and he was ready to leave) I received messages saying I was dead to her and a barrage of insults about deep things I'd talked to her about that of course she'd pride into about my past. I never responded. Work for the next couple weeks didn't change. She kept staring... and after I was transferred to a different department she'd walk through seeing where I was. To this day if I walk by in the morning she'll still try to flirt with other guys to get my reaction while I walk past but I've learned the grey rock method. It's been nearly a month without her walking through my department looking or staring. I don't know if she's done with me.. I hope she has finally stopped. But I don't know and I'm curious if she'll start up again at some point. But it's true, they are nuts, insecure, hateful, vengeful children in adult bodies. They go crazy and are willing to make you want to una live yourself to bring themselves satisfaction.. they love pleasure from your pain. They are bat crap crazy and the reality of themselves is the complete opposite of the person you fell in love with. Stay safe people. Took me a mental breakdown to the point I could feel my nerve endings shock wave through my body and brain nearly give up on itself. If you're just starting with this journey stay strong. It gets easier.
Some of what you described my narcs ex did to him. So she must have turned him. I thought someone who went through trauma wouldn't inflict it on others and tried to provide a stable environment but nah he preferred turning into a vampire
@@firebird3639 one thing you need to understand. People can take on narcissistic "fleas" after being with one. It can cause people to take on their characteristics.. but, good people do not become narcissists. Good people, empaths, whatever you want to call them do not hurt people this way. They don't become these people. Your ex was likely a narcissist and always has been one. They like to play the victim and project what they've done onto their ex's. It's a way to get you to feel for them from the beginning and believe they have always been done wrong and they were just innocent hurt people and they "learned" these things so you can fix them. It's complete bs and manipulation to get you to think there's a better person in there you can "fix". Don't buy into that crap. That person they pretend used to be there does not exist. It's a way to keep this image of them in your head of a decent person trapped in a demented warped mind. DO NOT FALL FOR THIS. Mine did this too. I promise you, they all do. Mines 5 ex's were all terrible selfish narcissistic people. And I was the guy who had never treated her better and shown her what perfection is. Yeah.. right.. it's all fake manipulative projection. Do yourself a favor and remember how he hurt you and focus on that man. Cause that's the only real person you met.
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The audacity to get upset when you leave them alone like they wanted 😂 They need serious help
Yes! They want us to chase them. They're surprised we respect their boundary bc they always push boundaries.
@amberfuchs398 mine didn't even have the respect to tell me not to contact him anymore. He got his new supply to do it. I think that's called triangulation. He wanted us to fight over him. Didn't happen because I realize he wasn't worth it after all
@@hindwidad2723 I'm glad you saw through the manipulation. Stay strong!
AMEN!👍💯 The way that they think is so very annoying! It aggravates me to no end!🙄
They will place themselves in your view just to see you come back...I act as if she's invisible even when she says Hi lol lol I love It 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Wanting a Narc back is wanting to be with a Demon 😈 .
My ex made wait her for almost one year cós she went live another city with her family in the pandemy. Long story short, she made me invest and wait most she Could and broke UP with me
@alexandreoliveira5712 SMH....rise n press forward and become the best. You are a star 🌟 and do not let anyone steal it
Precisely...DEMONS and their 'game' is unraveling in front of us all!!! Well done btw...stay NC at all costs!!!
When I first started looking into this, I felt the vampiric and demonic analogies were a little hyperbolic. But in fact they are very accurate. They truly are evil. They are souless. What a tragedy
@@ct00001they are demonic.the one I just booted out of my life was demonic.it was ugly.sad thing is she was the love of my life since high school,the re- kindle was a bad experience.yes it was a 46 year absent & I know I changed but she was off the wall.love her like no other,from a distance tho.
Be careful dealing with these people. They are very smart at hiding their malicious intentions. Never entertain thoughts of going back. They'll only hurt you more.
Very true!!!
He is saying what I said you have to do that!! It's just funny very dangerous
I love maintaining no contact with the narc. It means I have my peace back and it’s beautiful.😂😂😂😂🤧
N🚫 Contact is a superpower.
I had to also. I wanted to keep in touch but she would start the manipulation every time.could not believe it.
@@dennyfie: Stay away! When someone shows you who they are believe them!!! Your peace of mind is paramount right now!🙏🏾
😅😅😅
It turns into an olympic event of push and pull. I miss the person I met, even if they don't actually exist.
That is so well expressed !
Same like me 🙄
It’s true. Me too. We loved a lie. 💔
Look into Sam Vaknin's work. You didn't fall in love with them. You fell in love with an idealized image of yourself. The narcissist is nobody. There's no one there to fall in love with. It's truly all smoke and mirrors. It's such an epic mind game
Hahahaha yeah!! Thankfully I’m able to laugh about it now. I recovered to become my best self so I should thank her 😊
It’s very scary when you realize they never even liked you in the first place, they are dangerous monsters
@@motowngirl5891 this is the core of the truth. They never loved/cared/respected us in the past. Not in the here and now. And never will in the future.
The only way out of their grip is to realize this truth. And not go into s fantasy/nostalgia trip. A nostalgia created by the lovebombing, mirroring of the narcissist.
It was all manipulations to control the mind and emotions of the victim
The first hoover you THINK they want you back...they just want control.
They: Leave!.
Me: leaves.
They: Now come back...I said come BACK!
Me: Nnnnope.
They: ..... Listen here you little shit!
Like litteraly.😂
That's how to call Narkys bluff
This!
No contact has saved me from spending the rest of my days in misery. They are nothing but destructive and incapable of love & empathy.
I’m just over two years out of a narcissistic marriage. I still wake up sometimes with horror. It’s very hard to wrap your head around the fact that everything was fake. They just become the person you want and extract as much as they can.
It’s not really fake it’s just they are crazy lol they still are obsessed with you that’s why they can’t leave you alone
It’s difficult, along with questioning how evil people can be.
@@SlimSigtrig the NRC needs you to fall in love with them, because they are incapable of loving, it is absolutely 💯 % fake.
You'll carry the scars forever but they fade and become something you don't need to tend, as life edges you away from them little by little their relevance ebbs away, smile a knowing smile that you survived and got away and re-find yourself, you'll wake up one day and you'll realise that they play no part in your daily life again, just be aware of another trying to enter your life, learn how to formulate what you've learnt about them ( the hard way ) and understand how they tick, they're actually a very basic form of life that doesn't take long to understand, take care 🙂
Narcissist karma is never being able to love.
Although we hurt we can love.
They kill the golden egg-laying goose, and then they blame the goose.
Today is 121 days of NO CONTACT that I initiated. He put me through H***. He was a wolf in sheep's clothing.
16 years :D
Attempts to scout how I was doing started like after 5 years and happen from time to time
Exactly
I hope you are doing very well
I walked away from a narcissist friend, moved to another state, and didn’t look back. Our ‘friends’ in common said she lost her mind and ultimately I think she lost those friends as well. I don’t know, because I refuse to ask and have even distanced myself from those people as well.
Watch out for the flying monkeys. Those narcs manipulate them as well. You played it well. Steer clear and you'll be the better for it.
Nice work!
Leveled up 👾
Good move 👍. Get out, stay out!. And never take the hoover bait !
Severe ones are psychopaths
Malignant narcissists are Hell bent to destroy everything important in your life including your children. They enjoy watching people suffer.
she blamed me for not contacting her after she discarded me lol like wtf lol
lol mine said before she left my apartment after I asked why she's going: "Because you didn't apologize properly". And that was after I apologized twice in manner I thought was honest. But I didn't want to find out what a "proper apology" might be in her eyes. I can only imagine it after she told me that her former ex-boyfriend criend infront of her to not break up with him.
@@noturbo sickos in the head 😂
You are exposing them for who they truly are.
We're going REVERSE Nark here. No pinning after them cuz we're confused. Just walk away say NOTHING.
silence is golden
They destroy their victims in the same way a lion stalks and kills an antelope. They know exactly what they're doing, and they truly feel nothing about it. It's just what they do. It's important to understand they were once a victim too. They really have no choice. Really and truly, the only move is to avoid them completely.
Narcs are special in the head.
@@keithsharratt3402 😂special kinda crazy
Yes they expect you to chase with their crazy asses 😂
I’m officially one year NC from the Narc I know. Last year he gave me the silent treatment after I held him accountable for being an asshat. He’d done that before, going silent to punish and confuse me and it worked the first time because I didn’t know what he was. So when he did it again, I’m sure he felt super confident I would try to figure out how to make it right and chase him back into a conversation. As soon as he left, I left too. I blocked him on everything I could think of, I torched every bridge. It feels good to be on the other side now. Cheers to all who have walked away and stayed away. They never deserved you. ❤
So proud of you & im thankful you shared. I'm 3 months zero contact, 7 months post his brutal discard. I'm still going through the divorce
Same my situation
N🚫 Contact is a superpower!
And that's how you call Narky's bluff ladies and gentlemen. Reverse Nark now he's confused and wondering
I can’t get over it. Been 6 months
I was single for the last 15 years and very happy with my life, never felt lonely...and 8 months ago fall in live with narcissist (I didn't know until I "met" fantastic Sam Vaknin🤭🤭). I was devastated totally when Mr. Perfect discarded me but I am much better now, more healthy and sleep like a baby... Even I still have problems to get him out from my head and I feel loneliness like never before 🙈 but I will work on myself day by day and hope forget that fantasy in my mind that wasn't real 💪
You can leave if you're not happy! Get TF out! Go back to your house! Bye Felicia. ✌️Then the chase begins and they start obsessing over you! Crazy making 😵💫 Also know your not the only one they're juggling in their Psycho Circus.
They'll abandon their children they don't care
Unless their child is gifted and can see behind their many different masks.
Then it's the child that does the abandoning.
They can teach their children to hate u. Isolate u even more
@@teresadvorak6145so true, she shows them the games she plays and brain washes them that it’s fun and it’s really a game.
They sure will. They don't give a shit about anyone that most people value.
Don't feed the bear!
The Narcissist May Feel A Loss Of Control or Validation When The
Person They Have Discarded Goes No Contact. This Can Trigger Their Need For Attention.
Absolutely! They discard either emotionally and or physically, then are surprised when we don’t chase. What a mess they live inside of.
😂😂😂😂
@@JUMPforyourLIFE
So Incredibly True
@@JUMPforyourLIFE
Yup. Surprised and wanna know why.
@@BrendaBaBoom Supply and demand - economics model. Haha 😆
As soon as I blocked him and blocked access, I started feeling better so much faster. At two months, I feel pretty good. If I had started no contact sooner and blocked access sooner, I probably could have made this go faster by a month.
I struggled for almost 2 months after leaving my ex narc of 3.5 yrs. When the toxins started clearing my body is when I started healing. I saw what the person really was. Sucking me of my energy. Now after only 2 months I’m in a fighter mode. I love myself and don’t care about the ex. Yes, some days I ruminate but I know it’ll pass and that I’m in a much better place. What drives me the most if I stay in no contact and silent. The ex narc will feel it the most. I will never let someone have control over my life again. Pain is healing. Fight through the tough days but make sure you are getting to the place mentally to defeat the narc and win!
i’ve forgiven him in the past. i’ve looked over his faults and wrongdoings in the past. but i’m done, i met him when i was very young and i know what i want in life now. he just wants to keep me around whenever he feels he wants and that is disgusting. the way he discarded me he knew would break my heart and hurt me horribly. well guess what. changing my phone number and moving, i’m done, he always tries to come back, never again.
I broke up with my narcissist ex girlfriend 20 years ago and went No Contact 10 years ago, which included abandoning social media as well. A month & a half ago I returned to social media, and 3 days after she was already baiting me with indirect quotes that she'd post that attacked my character and insinuated that I had done things to her that she had actually done to me. She also tried the victim card and also the "I have mental illness so my behavior and treatment is excused/justified. I haven't broken No Contact and don't intend to, because I am simply over it and I refuse to accommodate her need for validation.
I don’t do social media and that is why. The ex girlfriend created dozens of fake internet profiles with Instant Messenger. I kept getting dozen of “invites” to chat with her. I did not take the bait. The harassment from her has been on-going for 16 years. Her Smear Campaign went after my family members, friends, and a co-worker. Malignant narcissists will make it their life mission to destroy everything in your life. Your call to stay in social media. Any info a narcissist can obtain on you, will be used against you.
Usually they come back within 90days
Yeah to destroy you completely. They normally want to leave someone profoundly destroyed
Great talk. The narc. wants the upper hand but will flip to victim in a second. Its pointless for a real person with empathy to be in this type of situationship there is no depth or trust. Its a sad sitch.
Good morning ! 🌞 a cup of Joe with Joe ☕☕ is my favorite thing in the morning ! Valuable message ! Thank you Joe ! 🤗❤
Thank You so much! Have a great Friday!! ❤❤
It's very strange when it's a parent. I thought my Dad and I were close but when I set boundaries after my brother moved in with him, he completely changed. The last time I stopped by to visit I even noticed he had removed all of the pictures of me in the house. It's like he's trying to erase me. They are so extreme. They don't know how to compromise or empathize. I can't describe how weird it is to see this side of him after 40 years. I feel like I have no choice but to stay away from them because it's scary. It's not safe to be around people who don't live in reality.
Thank you Joe. You care about me 100x more than he ever did for 10 long years. ❤
Great content ... may your dedication be blessed and grow your channel.....
Namaste~
I appreciate that, thank. :)
All the best to you, and your channel as well!!
I don't like you so let's breakup and be friends. 🤣
I caught ex narc with new supply and they both denied messing around. He said she was his "aunt" (in her face) she was his coworker though. I left him a week later Sept 2nd, blocked him on everything. They are now together. Hoover by proxy was a week after I left, he was riding my dad's house 5 weeks later, I ignored him 😂😂 2 weeks after that he calls from unknown number "desperate" need to meet with me because "he had something he knew I wanted so bad"(an old workers compensation check he had since the week I left). I knew his game, (new supply caused this hoover, triangulation trick). He was smiling from ear to ear when I pulled up, he gave me the check and was trying to tell me something new supply said about me😂😂😂I totally ignored him and got in my 🚗 💨💨💨✌🏾✌🏾 he was saying "hold up, hold up, let me talk to you.🤣🤣🤣 Boy bye, no conversation period😂😂 I know new supply had a bad day that day after she was the reason for the hoover😢😢😢 The smear campaign, the gang stalking, granddaughter playing on my phone has been horrible.
She called a couple of days ago asking for the turtle back, and I told her no, and she began to tell me . I couldn't take care of it, and I told her I was not doing this. " She hung up and then txt me later, saying," Wasn't trying to upset you . I didn't even txt her back . This is someone who said she cared for me but was willing to put me down 😂
You aren't one of the bigger creators on the topic but you are very insightful and calming to listen to.
Good morning does this apply to those of us that got rid of the devils advocate such is my case I discarded that dusty weirdo first 😊🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I hope so! I dumped the narcissist in over three months ago and he finally tried to hoover me by text a few days ago. I didn't respond. This fool thought I was going to chase him and be available to him on his terms. I shocked him with my indifference and ignoring him!!! 😂
Dusty weirdo 🤣
I live a few blocks from my narc friend, I even saw him spending the block since I went no contact. It’s a point where I said, I’m tired and I’m not playing his games no more. I moved on by healing. I ❤myself to much to go down that kind of hell.
You're so right... My friend asked me if I still had feelings after a month went by.... I said yes I feel my shoulder and back neck and jaw ... My feelings I hope go away very soon and after that ... That guy will still be an asshole. I told my friend ❤
I’m busy with my own oxygen mask for once
I've got her blocked on socials as well as her number. She'd have to really put in effort to hoover me :)
Thank you so much for your great messages. They help me process a lot. ❤
The reason this happens is because in their mind the victim belongs to them forever.
When they discard us it’s never permanent. They can do a hoover 10 years later.
In the mind of the narcissist the victim is like a video game they where tired/bored playing. They put it on the shelf ( the discard), and find a new game ( the shiny new object fallacy/addiction of the narcissist). But in the future they might want to play the old game again.
And if they find out the game is missing. The rage/anger is on.
In their mine the victim has no sentience/personality. It’s only them who has a soul. All others are just objects or actors playing in the movie about them.
So the concept of the discard beeing permanent is wrong. The discard is more like they put the victim on « hold».
So they can harvest supply by the victims feelings of pain from no closure, and waiting for the divine narcissist to turn their attention to the victim.
Their superiority complex , lack of empathy ( can’t sett them selves in the victims shoes), sadism ( enjoyment of the pain of the victim). Is the core of their patology
All true, and unfortunately, it's just that sad, but just that simple
@@Freethkr the hardest part to simply observe their actions. And see that they are like a robot. Always following the exact same patern. They may look different, have different names, from different cultures, age, sex, status and so on. But all they are about is
1: control
2: harvest attention at all cost
3: sadism ( the enjoyment of others suffering)
4: self obsession
It’s realy mindboogling. Only about 1-3% in the population have « narcissistic personality dissorders) , but the leading experts in the world ( DR Raminy, H.G Tudor) thinks that the number of « highly toxic» individuals are about 1/6 ( 15-18%). And in some environments where there are alot of power and attention to harvest like the media, politics, finance it could be even higher!!.
Stay safe!
@@Ikaros23 heard a lady say after 40 years narc popped at her front door really sick and demented
I hate him.
@@shirlspark_stardust the narc expect the codependent empath to never learn boundary’s. Or about red flags. Even after 40 years. And sorry to say in most cases they are right 😭😭😭 ( the victim stay a codependent)
I can't believe you named EVERYTHING what is just going on with my life in video 7 days old.... she is cheating with my friend, smearing me behind back, infiltrated my friends, work... using old dog to subtly blackmail my family just everything possible to ruin me after I gave her EVERYTHING including really lots and losts of money all time in many past years and most importantly my whole hearth....
Yeah well and that's what you get when you let someone disrespect you time and time again. We all learn alot from Narky. No boundries NO self love and No self respect. No confidence No self esteem and certainly No strength or smarts. You got conned used and abused and took it. Why would you do that?? Your lacking simple basic human traits. Narky just goes on your beaten to a pulp not much left to be had. Been there you need to work on those traits man...
@@RandallGlatt I had strong moral center toward good things that is probably why she discared me. I never let her to talk me into doing malitious things myself.
BTW she killed the dog and when i wanted grave for him she let him be cremated...
So sorry you're in the thick of it. All I can say is keep learning about narcissism. Watch videos like these on a regular basis after a while you will go back and see where you missed the red flags. You'll start noticing how similar your narc is to everyone else's. The same tools and tricks to get you hooked and keep you there. But, you will also learn things about yourself about what made you the perfect victim for a narc. It's hard to accept but it's the only way you can truly overcome and understand why it happened. Bc you can't really do anything about the narc but you can work on yourself. You can grow and learn from this experience and make yourself narc proof!! Stay strong and stay safe.
Oh Dear ~ Dont Drive your Car in Reverse ~ Dont Let Your Soul or Spirit or 💜 Drive in Reverse Either!! My Opinion is "If im waiting for him to come back" there's Something wrong with Me 😔 Yes I have thought " What could he do " !?!? To make Me want to go back!? 🤔 Well All the Things he Didn't want to do!! Put the Drugs Down #1 ,Get Therapy #2 And last but Not least #3 Grow Up.These things Will take Alot of Time & Effort ~ Im Sticking with the 6 month No contact Either way 🎉I mean really* I Always called Him "B" Bee's are busy taking from one 🌹 to another 🌹 and if you Disrupt their process ~ You get Stung ~ Look at this ~ i have Always known ~ Yet i didnt realize what a NARCISSIST Really was, Until Now 🕊️ Please Don't wait to hear from them ~ its Your Choice of course ~ But the Sting & bites are" Not Worthy " Thanks again to anyone reading this ~ You are Worth So Much More & this is coming from a "Bee" Keeper , I Thought the Honey 🍯 was the Sweetest thing that I'd get Stung over & over , Decades Worth & Here I am ~ 7 weeks Today No Contact* The process of Calming the 🐝 to even get the Honey is Alot of work ~ the smoke out 💨 the head to foot Safety Gear , Leave that to the Professionals!! Im not a Bee keeper 🐝
it's to them siphon the healed energy.
I think whatever time it takes to convey the message/topic is good so it stays organic and natural.
I’m hoping that applies to my situation, even though he caused a reverse discard after he chose his emotional affair partner over me and our children.
We’re now divorced after being separated for 2 years, it’s still upsetting considering I spent 22 years with that heartless man.
He is withholding something from me, I guess that makes him feel powerful in a sick way…they are absolutely disgusting.
Thank you for all your content Joe, it has helped me to understand all the emotional abuse I unfortunately enabled for far too long.
So the best strategy is to let them think they have destroyed you so they won't contact you again but actually go on and thrive without them 😂
Its true what they say then. The worst thing you can do is to totally feel indifferent towards them, it absolutely kills them
In the whole narcissistic cult becoming crazy is said as the Highest Good, - they do all they can actively for that... Thank You!!:))!!👍💫🎁🌟🌷
Hi Joe, Great content. I little off of the subject but one thing I noticed after being destroyed by 2 narcissists in my life, one when younger and one when older is their clumsiness. They both moved awkwardly like dolls and although they were both very clumsy and spastic, they claimed to be very athletic. It is like they cannot stand being in their own skin or bodies and seem very detached from their bodies and move very mechanically. I used to think to myself about both the females that they seem like dolls the way they move. I have seen this in 2 females and one male narcissist that I spent a lot of time around.
Good. Whatever can they expect?
Absolutely gang stalking neighbors absolutely evil people no self worth jealous oh my they wanna be you 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂❤❤❤❤❤sold my home 🏡 life too short
so what happens when you go no contact and delete social media so they can’t keep tabs on me? i was discarded for someone else but they hide it like i’m dumb and wouldn’t know. i been silent, i don’t react, no contact, don’t socialize with any flying monkeys. completely disappear. why do a narcissist purposely try to see you in public but then look uncomfortable with new supply then never show back up. what was that about? it’s been over a year and I’ve never hoovered
Decide not to “decode” the behavior of the Narc …. they are a WASTE of time.
@@BrendaBaBoom isn’t what this video is for?
@@1111spiritualone
Well you asked ‘why’ and ‘what’ after watching said video and I offered you a recommendation.
This is what I want to know too. I made a new social page and I don’t approve request I feel like I have to hide
He was maybe testing the waters to read your body language on if your attracted to him still...
I went no contact bout 5 days she claim she drove 3 hours stalk harass me kept drivin around my house stake out around my house and when i left start chasing after me with car ran me off road dang near got me in accident chasing me smh and after final discard a year later she showed up at my job lookin for me this was a different job from when i was with her i was workin with a family member only thing i can think of he told her where i worked since he was one of her flyin monkeys smh
they dont go crazy they just go to the next victim
I found out the hard way of my little sister being one I knew she had mental illness but not far for what she did to me to use me as a stepping stone and putting our Dad in the middle of it all take my roommate too it’s just crazy
I'm trying to divorce mine, he sent me three conditions by which he is controlling, 1st one is "forgive and forget" no forgive me or anything. He mentions forget if he unknowningly hurt me. He wants to make sure he can secure the assests for himself. He also manipulated my whole family against me.
Narcopath ran off 10yrs ago, he remarried, haven't heard or seen him since, never once tried to contact him although I was ridden with cptsd, my kids keep in touch with him, I think he's on the hunt again for fresh blood.
Thankyou Joe….another valuable video 🙏🏻❤️ have a lovely Christmas x
Thank you. Have a lovely Christmas too!! ❤
Im glad I'm discarded I got nothing in common with y'all folks
Thankyou for this.
Can you discuss post-discard behavior in non-romantic but narcissistic relationships?
Thanks for the video have a great new year
This so called HAREM garage is Very disturbing. I never heard that before..😅😅 where is this. In their phones??))
“ harem garage means that they’ve got a lot of people to run to for a hook-up; so say for instance that he has a girlfriend and he cheats, he has other women, on the side, that he’s playing as well. Sometimes the others know this and they don’t care. So it’s like a harem but called a garage probably from an old saying, he just wants a place to park his car. A place to flop and/or use a woman for anything: sex, money, home cooked meals, a place to flop, etc…
A harem of ex broken souls collected in their garage/prison
@@crawfish-fossil 😂oh man that made me laugh out loud
Why those narcs always hoover during christmas/ holidays Joe??
Their normal routine is disrupted, so usual supply may be unavailable, they love to ruin or unsettle people during happy or family times, you may have been left isolated and alone so at this point it can rub salt in the wound... Probably a couple of other deranged reasons as well.
@@killjoyredux8361 Yeah, its a routine for my narc ex to hoover when it's Christmas and New Year, plus my birthday is close to those dates too.. But, I just want to know if it happens to other narc relationship survivors too?
@@reyrey981 yes it does...it's a recognized pattern. Not all, but happens with enough people to be a documented part of the 'process'. I got one last holidays but not yet this year as I think she knows that I know what she is
I just got hoovered one week before Christmas after I discarded him and went no contact over three months ago. I thought I was one of those mentally strong women he wouldn't dare hoover, but I was wrong. He did! Maybe out of boredom, no supply late at night, had an argument or break up with current supply...who knows? With these entitled idiots who think we're privileged fools to put up with their BS!!!!
@@killjoyredux8361for sure this is the reason .they become all sappy and emotional and then as soon as things are back to it's regular schedule,you're off the schedule!!!
Funny my ex keeps asking if I got my new phone but never asks about me lol
Thank you
🙏💯🎯🎱🙏👌🙏🤠Thank you Joe.
Hey joe i have a question for you. Before our relationship started i didnt know anything about narcissist people. So i had a girlfriend and we dated like almost 2 months. In the end she discarded me and asked me to be friends with her i said no to her she became angry and started to compare me with her exes bla bla. Anyways then i went NC immediately. After discard i learned she was a narcissist. Does this make me the one who got away ?
Yes
I don't think your dealing with Narky. I think she really wanted to be friends because of too many weenie boy moves. Let's discuss the One That Got Away. How could you be the one that got away if she just wants to be friends. The one that got away has self love, self respect, is confident and strong. These traits equates to grade A supply if in fact tried tested and proved in front of her eyes. Remember Narky wants those traits from you. The one that challenges her doesn't react. Puts up boundry when disrespected. Now having seen all these traits now compliment her she'll freak out the supply is so good. It's how she feels cuz you in real life posses these. That's rare grade A diamond 💎. Now your very valuable rare and hard to get at. She now sees you as a challenge your unpredictable also. The one who got away plays hard 2 get and also may reject her love bombs a few times. Your not dealing with Nark here she would have tried to destroy you when discarding. The more destroyed you are the bigger the boost or high. She wants those above-mentioned traits their more valuable than money. She thinks If I could aquire those traits everything would work out for her and she'd be OK. She wants to be normal but with good quality traits. Despite what your friends or whatever say she is narcissist they don't really know or even understand it. It's just a word thrown around. She probably is tired of getting rejected cuz she only wants that very things friendship. Too many weak weenie boy moves which destroys her attraction to guys. And now is rejected as a friend. Why can you not be friends are you butt hurt or something? I would go and apologize to her and be just that friends. Once a woman has lost respect for a guy it's a rap. Just take what you learned and work on those principles self love, self respect, confidence, strength, smarts. She'll respect you immediately some for making that step towards friends I can guarantee 💯. And once you become friends she'll tell you where you messed up in her losing attraction. Now your friends and plus you've learned something. That's NOT Nark dude. She's upset because NO one can accept her as her. Guys get mad and frustrated not getting in her pants...
@@RandallGlatt i understand why you think this way. Then let me explain why did i think that she was a narcissist. After 3 weeks later when we were having a good conversation she started to devalue me she insulted my body she started to yell, scream all the bad things you can think of and there was no reason for her to say those words or behave the way she did. İ told her that's not a normal way to treat your boy friend. But she didnt want to listen me and she threatened me leave then i said i am going to leave if you continue to behave like this. she scared and she apologized beg me to stay with her. this shitty relationship continued until the discard. So tell me my friend is she a narcissist or not ?
Omg HEIROM I never understood y he asked if I had a heirom meanwhile he does
Merry Christmas can you talk about same topic more in details please
Yes, like, are they aware that they are attracted to your empathy but then dislike you for it? Thanks!
Thanks for sharing👍
Awesome message.💚
Great insight ❤️
Another one or their revolving tactics that I'm not interested in ✌🏽
Last time I talked to her this is what happened.
She was at work I said I wanna come see u and walk u home or have dinner. She said not tonight. Towards the end of the night she is double texting me to figure it out what I was doing… I said I’m home, she is like I’m going to have a drink, I said with who she don’t tell me… I said sure I wanted to see u but u chose who u share ur time with… 2 hours later she asked for an Uber to go home so I send her the Uber she calls me to ask where is the Uber then she said hold up and put me on mute… just because I asked why she put me on mute she threatened me to leave and blocked me because I’m over doing it… she she stop texting me so I panic and go to see her… when I get there I explained what bothered me… the fact that she knew I wanted to see her and she still chose to be with Someone else so she snaps at me and say it’s because “ I don’t care I don’t care” I just said this is the last time u see me so she started following me as I walk away trying to get me an Uber… I said no so I walked her home and I left. Next day I texted her no reply…. So I just stopped texting her she hasn’t blocked me…. But I decided to not contact her anymore…. It’s so hard to not text her but I know she won’t reach out… I’m trying to not contact her.
Don't contact her. When ever you find yourself caving in go watch a video or two about NPD like this one. Going back only prolongs your suffering. Whatever you saw or were shown that made you love them is an illusion! They, the person you fell in love with doesn't really exist. When you truly realize this you will go through a grieving process as if they actually died. Then you will tell yourself are you really grieving for an imaginary person? And snap out of it!!! Stay strong and stay safe!!
I feel like he has some very psychic sense if I’m up to something like he’s tracking me even over the internet but I have got a secret phone number new number but I still sense him watching
I feel the same way! Like he's even gonna be able to read this comment. It's their real energy that's coming through.
My ex was able to keep tabs on me because we had young kids. But I divorced him when I found out about the rebound relationship. I was sure that I would never want him back.
Hey Joe,
Just checking in and letting you know that lots of us are still listening to you and to let you know we appreciate and respect your insight and contribution towards these psychological issues. I think its a modern western issue. If you look at the stats on relationships they are dire amd in the pan. Women think they are men now but they are not. Men do not understand this lol.
Why do they devalue someone that they wanted n were benefiting from you other than his way of individuating from his own extremely narcissistic mother that still lives with three grown sons who are all sick while she plays non stop victim that she’s looking after all her adult sons collecting a cheque from them all
Jealousy.
what if you find out that he is bisexual and hid that from you and that is why he got rid of me......I loved him for 12 years.......and he never card and was a sadist.
Count yourself lucky that he didn't give you an STD. Run for the hills
That's disgusting. Why would you even still be worried about him? 🤮
Well her making up a statement about me putting her info on my
Mortgage( which doesn’t makes sense ) like why would she do that
👏🏼
I did what the title of the video says.with my 'mother ' and my ex. You wont believe what they do, together as a team, to me. Day in day out im in psychologische thriller.
Im sorry, my englisch is not that good.
Maybe if you people would stop reopening the wounds maybe people could heal
currently discarded by rejection, she specifically asked me to not contact her anymore, it's been almost 2 months. No block on Whatsapp, but it's really hard not to chase her. I know that after two weeks she already had a new one. it's been 6 years and 4 major breakups and I am hoping for a hoover, going crazy for it :(
Always asking myself if this was the final discard :/
Thing is I have a daughter from another woman she could never accept that and asked me to see her less, currently I have her 100% of the time, I am fearing that this might be the reason for the final discard :(((
I’m sorry to hear this. I struggle with a similar situation. Stay strong good luck
@@derrick.crawford1005 Thanks for the reply, yes it's really hard, more so because in the past there always was a comeback and before she asked me to not contact her she was talking about marriage and kids and then always suggested I was wasting her time and manipulating her, just because I said I currently don't have money for a an engagement ring but in December I would have...
From personal experience, I can tell you that no matter what you do to try to please the narc it will NEVER be good enough! Do NOT under any circumstances alter your relationship with your daughter for the narc! NO ONE is worth risking the bond that you share with your child! Sounds like she (the narc) was demanding that you make a choice - either her or your child!! Even if you had given in to her demands, there will always be some other requirement that you must meet if you want to try to keep the narc "relationSHIT" alive! It's NEVER enough! You will NEVER win no matter what you do! Always remember that the narc has an "agenda" for everything they say/do! It's ALL about THEM & what they can take from you! They will do whatever it takes to benefit THEM - it's NEVER about YOU! They are TAKERS - never GIVERS! Do yourself a favor & RUN! They are poison & will destroy you IF you allow it! Sorry this is so long but if I can help save someone else from the horrible trauma & heartache I experienced, then so be it! Hope this has helped you in some way! 😊
It is100% unreasonable, unloving, unkind and narcissistic to make you reduce your relationship with your daughter to prioritise her.
Do you think your daughter wouldn’t pick up on this? Do you think this is normal behaviour? Would you do this to her if the boot was on the other foot?
Start running from this toxic abuser and don’t look back.
She wants to isolate you from everything that brings you Joy, if you are happy she is not , so please put you child first , and enjoy you little human. ☘️
Hey guys
I had 2 boys with my wife let me tell u about my story
Dec 11th we split up and got kicked out
Dec 15 she starts new relationship
And rubs it in my face all the time for days
In the end i said i have a new partner
Even thou i dont
But because i said that
She wont now let me see the kids
But her new man can have it all
You owe it to your sons to get them out of that situation. She will let her new boyfriends abuse them.
I worked with mine and she was "split" with her husband. We had about three months of fun and then she discarded. In the beginning I told her I wanted nothing to do with her but a casual time. She basically begged a relationship and after what they do I agreed because I started falling for her and she knew I wanted kids so she would bring her daughter around constantly. After the discard she said she still wanted to be friends but she was getting back with her husband. This is after she love bombed the hell out of me. Future faked. And wanted me to do a certain thing that would put a child in her. The whole time talking nonstop trash about him.
I told her there wasn't a chance we could be friends because it'd be wrong for her to be with him and us still be talking. She didn't like this. So over the course of the next few days flung herself all over another guy at work. Constantly flirting with him in front of me and laughing.. walking by on the phone talking to another guy at 3am so I'd hear. And staring at me and lingering by where I'd be. So I gave her a choice, leave me be or I was going to contact the husband. She went into a narcissistic rage and we cut ties. But it didn't help. Over the next two months she got worse with the stalking, flirting, and phone calls to someone else. I couldn't eat, or sleep. Couldn't stand going to work because of how much it hurt.
After a set of days where she went overboard and the final draw being her standing behind a female coworker of mine and I while we were talking only for her to run off when we turned around I had to do something. So I went to HR and told them I was going to talk with her husband and that they needed to be ready for an issue if it took place and a sit down with her. After I had a conversation with him (he said he was happy I told him because it wasn't the first time and he was tired of the lies and manipulation and he was ready to leave) I received messages saying I was dead to her and a barrage of insults about deep things I'd talked to her about that of course she'd pride into about my past. I never responded. Work for the next couple weeks didn't change. She kept staring... and after I was transferred to a different department she'd walk through seeing where I was.
To this day if I walk by in the morning she'll still try to flirt with other guys to get my reaction while I walk past but I've learned the grey rock method.
It's been nearly a month without her walking through my department looking or staring. I don't know if she's done with me.. I hope she has finally stopped. But I don't know and I'm curious if she'll start up again at some point.
But it's true, they are nuts, insecure, hateful, vengeful children in adult bodies. They go crazy and are willing to make you want to una live yourself to bring themselves satisfaction.. they love pleasure from your pain.
They are bat crap crazy and the reality of themselves is the complete opposite of the person you fell in love with. Stay safe people. Took me a mental breakdown to the point I could feel my nerve endings shock wave through my body and brain nearly give up on itself.
If you're just starting with this journey stay strong. It gets easier.
Some of what you described my narcs ex did to him. So she must have turned him. I thought someone who went through trauma wouldn't inflict it on others and tried to provide a stable environment but nah he preferred turning into a vampire
@@firebird3639 one thing you need to understand. People can take on narcissistic "fleas" after being with one. It can cause people to take on their characteristics.. but, good people do not become narcissists. Good people, empaths, whatever you want to call them do not hurt people this way. They don't become these people.
Your ex was likely a narcissist and always has been one. They like to play the victim and project what they've done onto their ex's. It's a way to get you to feel for them from the beginning and believe they have always been done wrong and they were just innocent hurt people and they "learned" these things so you can fix them. It's complete bs and manipulation to get you to think there's a better person in there you can "fix". Don't buy into that crap. That person they pretend used to be there does not exist. It's a way to keep this image of them in your head of a decent person trapped in a demented warped mind. DO NOT FALL FOR THIS. Mine did this too. I promise you, they all do. Mines 5 ex's were all terrible selfish narcissistic people. And I was the guy who had never treated her better and shown her what perfection is.
Yeah.. right.. it's all fake manipulative projection. Do yourself a favor and remember how he hurt you and focus on that man. Cause that's the only real person you met.
Can i act hurt just to keep them away ? Cuz if they see me well, they'll come back, and i don't want that.