I’m Saying This To Black Women…So You Don’t Have To
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- I no longer make content for Black women. Let me explain.
My Website:
www.nnekaonyil...
JOIN My Black & Invisible Membership:
/ @nnekaonyilofor
My Book:
My Own Gaze: Memoir of an Invisible Black Woman
www.amazon.com...
If you like this video and want to donate to my channel, please do:
cash.app/$Nnek...
As A 32 Year Old Black Woman That’s Open To Bettering Myself This Is The Type Of Content That I Want To See. I Love What You Are Doing & Will Continue To Tune In 🙏🏼💕
What you need is to find your man, not more content to keep you away from him. A woman will not teach you how to identify or understand your man.
@@kuramobay2445 Ok
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Don't say that women of colour say black women because of you say women of colour you are talking about Asian, Indian, mexican, and Puerto Rican. These are women of colour you might what to start saying African women and not African-American
It's true idk why blk folk use those terms
...bcuz they Want, WhatAbout-ism..to skirt Accountability
I applaud you, because eventhough you center on holding women accountable you lead from the center & not on 1 side of WWIII/ the other
The Ideal Wife is someone that you would want your Successful Son to Marry. Someone that is there to support him and help Him Grow.
The Ideal Mother is someone that is there to support the Family with their Development to become productive citizens.
To be a good Wife and Mother you must listen and provide needs not wants.
Non-negotiable:
Respectful= prioritize him over everyone.
Cooperative=ask questions and provide information.
Companion=Be a joy to spend time with.
Hire if need be:
Mistress=Satisfy your man's sexual needs
Executive Assistant=Manage the House
Nanny=give birth to and help develop his children
Nice to have
Pretty face= symmetrical
Nice body=proportional.
Natural=minimal body modifications
Subconsciously Men are attracted to women that look like a healthy mate.
Women have Long Hair, Long Nails, Clear Skin, Symmetrical features, Proportional body to attract Men.
You're really good and I appreciate your strength and wisdom. Stay blessed and continue to open minds.
Integrity is the best path.
Nneka, I'm going to contact you regarding RUclips coaching. Have a great day!
I am 47 year old black men, I wasnt raised by a black woman, My father raised me.
An im glad he did, because both my older brothers were raised by our mother, an Both became criminals and thugs.
I had to learn about black women when i was 15 years old, because i didnt understand why i kept getting friendzone.
I learn being a playa, or womanizer is what got me the results i wanted, being the nice guy sistas took my kindness for weakness.
I stop dressing how i like dressing and started dressing in a way to attract as many women as possible
i changed my core beliefs about women to more negative ones, an i changed i how interacted and behaved around them,
I learn how to talk ie run game on sistas, form an older girl who taught me the game. I was 16 years old she was grown, an liked me because i was super smart
i was in highschool but always very smart, on honor roll, even kept a 3.8 through college. How ever being smart or intelligent was a trait that only older women respected in hindsight, An most older chicks didnt attract men with intellect. Because most of those guys begin to date outside of their race, which i had ample opportunity to, because becky and others always chased me and approached me.
i wasnt raised by mother, so i learn to go college and graduate highschool unlike my older brothers.
But i had no game until about 16. I had to learn how women think, what they wanted.
Just being smart, With a car at 16 and 100 dollars in pocket every week, an tommy hilfiger and guess jeans outfits, an nice cologne with a six pack and good hairstyle wasnt enough.
I lacked a few things like
Swagga
Edge
Being a little thuggish
having other women
Being a cheater
Women complain about the men they want. Women always complain about the same men, But i see men who arent those things every day.
Women dont want those men and see them as lame or boring.
Women feel a connection and chemistry with us men who are cheaters and who tell a woman NO to things she wants.
We dont spend our money on women, we gonna see more than one woman,
Were as the good guy will give you everything you asked for, and give his all, and be faithful and give you all his attention and time.
Us Ray Rays are going to neglect you a little but lay it down in the bedroom. This is what i learn growing up.
Lol, you downgraded yourself for the affection of others. How is that a win?
I would have rather stayed single with cats.
@@briannadickson2884 my libido is Too high.
I'm single. Not married.
I have a rotation of several women I knock the boots with.
I tell one of my girlfriends all the time if I didn't have such a high sex drive I wouldn't even be with women..I would focus on hobbies.
I'm 47 years old. I have constant need for sxxx.
So I keep a rotation of women since I was teen to never go through a drought again.
Worst time of my life was going six months with no wet wet.
Fapping doesn't satisfy me.
I don't think we as men should have children or wives just a hareem of women we can enjoy
Well said. Young ladies, listen up.❤
@@briannadickson2884 I have always be smart and avid reader since I was kid..I always loved learning stuff.
For 99% of women you will have to downgrade your intellect or they will feel your being condescending.
In 4 decades I never met a sistas who knows the bible like I do. Or any other subject I study.
An anything a sista knows about give me 6 months to study up on it I will greatly surpass her lifelong knowledge in that subject..
You have to downgrade yourself to co-exist or you will be disappointed
Thanks!
Thank you so much Glenn! 🙏🏾
Cyntheia G didn't hold BM accountable, Hell she didn't hold herself accountable.
People are going to say you're grifting
the purpose of youtube is to make money, speaking on things your customers want..
rappers need to learn this, many conscious rappers dont know how to pick good beats or even rhyme cadence ryhtms that the people love.
Thank you Geno!
@@nnekaonyilofor your welcome.
People don't realize the reason for YT content creation is to make money
U Are in the LANE UR SUPPOSED TO BE IN
Nneka follow Dr Boyce Watkins if you don't already.
lol no …..that mans a financial fraud! There’s no way you could trust him with anything else!
Watkins is fulla of shit....
@@LipstickLady the lies you tell
Why? Bcuz he a weak minded man and pander to women??
Probably the worst advice on the inanets today SMFH
Because us black men have been hearing how we ain’t 💩 for decades.
There is a Woman on the app formerly known as “Twitter” named Paris who does content discussions on both Black Women and Black Men. She holds both parties accountable and always makes accurate and honest points.
It crazy watching the difference in criticism that she receives from a lot of Women when she’s discussing them and their faults. Women will be all for it when the topics are about Black Men. But as soon as the discussion is centered around them… they lose it and get EXTREMELY nasty towards her in the comments.
Men usually take the critiques about them, hear it, and keep it pushing. But the Women… not so much. They take it as a personal attack and start deflecting and name calling. It’s always “love and respect all Black Women” until one says something they don’t like. They hate being critiqued (even if it’s proven facts) but are oftentimes the first to do it to everybody else.
You describe it to a T!
A woman can't teach a man about life and reality.
“A silent and loving woman is a gift of the Lord"
- Ecclesiasticus 26:14🙏🏾✝📖
Amen 🙏
The best way to keep your garden Eden is to keep Eve out.
@@Nightrain349 "A wicked woman is given as a portion to a wicked man. But a Godly woman is given to him that feareth the Lord."
- Ecclesiasticus 26:23 🙏🏾✝📖
Amen
Just being supportive of your man knowing the right thing/way to say is important, it doesn't take alot to make us happy, mature men that is and it takes no money to do this,the simplest thing will doit
The issue in society is you spending a whole 15 min,, explaining why women who need to do better, should do better,,🎉
Really, to also assist women on their path to happiness, one must address the mainstream programming which over-promises a life free of all discomfort to women. No man will ever be able to eliminate all fears, anxieties or depressions. One can't even promise people there is someone out there for everyone when under-promising and over-delivering worked far better pre-social media.
You don't have to hold us black men accountable because society does that just fine and maybe too much. While women get away with.. well lets not go there, I digress .great content and you got a new subscriber here 😊
I respect the vulnerability you demonstrate in these videos.
Good breakdown. Other ethnicities of women get it. Only black women have this lack of understanding. What consistently handicaps them generation after generation is the one issue i wish that Nneka, Iyanla, and other female content creators would address.
What do you think it is that "consistently handicaps" BW generation after generation?
@@juliatripp2010 I'm a man. I can only guess. It takes women to identify what influences their thoughts and patterns of behavior. Help me to understand. What are those things?
They “get it” what? What is “it”? Everybody is buying makeup and wigs or pieces. That industry certainly doesn’t run by the will of BW. They’re injecting their faces with toxins just to have Blk lips and full cheeks. Speaking of cheeks, they’re traveling all over the world for transfers and implants so that they can look like Saartjie B. Please explain what you mean by they “get it.”
@@lakeearly2516In your own case: self loathing. 🤷🏽♀️
i have dated other ethnicities, In the past yes, They got it, but the generation Z is even kiel more or less with sistas. Even Brad and Doug are complaining about Becky,
Now there are some differences sistas have that us brothas dont like, but some similiarites to sistas becky now has too.
ie the term Modern Women.
First of all, instead of 'no makeup alert,' you may need to say, 'natural beauty alert,' girl. ❤ Its so refreshing to see cuz all that makeup is hard to see thru and natural light is your friend!.
What I also love about your channel besides you calming voice, honesty and vulnerability, is your intention to figure out how to shift the focus from how bad we feel BM are, to how we as BW impact society, our community and our families. I do believe, that despite being the principal role models in raising BM, we also were raised by fatherless women or in other cases, destructive or absent father,s i.e., BM. I see a lot too that we as BW, need to heal from.
But I also counter with, what BM 'know' anout BW, as having been raised by BW, may be damaging to us. They saw us struggle, often without the loving companionship of a strong BM and saw our weaknesses and exploited that. I think also, we BW see the weaknesses of BM instead of the strengths for the very same reason.
Kudos to you to wade into this realm but we must heal ourselves first. There is so much to this and I suspect we have lost a generation while figuring this out.
Our men must also heal and grow. The 'accomplishments' of BW has created a wedge between us, but that was a choice born of necessity. Maybe the parallel for men is counseling. For both really we gotta scale up. Ive invested in counseling due to deep trauma for over thirty years and I think its made a huge difference but most men dont do this, so I see all around me, the brokenness of many men.
In fact, right now, my sister and I are taking care of at least two such men. And my ex is being taken care of by sisters, nieces, etc. Men often dont do this for us. Ive aged out, signed out of the battle, but I applaud your efforts to wade into this and help heal our community ❤
i wasnt raised by mother, I was raised by FATHER i learn to be a playa and womanizer from women.
Because they like us thuggish, swagga and edge.
Being smart, handsome, with a six pack and a car at 16 is not enough.
Infact guys who had none of those things had alot of chicks.
I’ve been getting counseling since the age of 13. The trauma I’ve experienced is basically normal in the black community. What most people don’t understand is that in my childhood, I had the luxury of growing up in a 2 parent household until the age of 6. I’m named after my father. I actually understood what a normal loving family looked like and I’ll be honest, most black people just can’t fathom it. When my mom and dad divorced, and we moved to the hood, I couldn’t relate to anyone. I had to adapt. So I have introspection into both sides and I’ll be honest. I don’t see it getting better. I clawed my way out that mess and took my son with me. My daughters mom has alienated me from them due to her mindset of resenting men and being independent . As I told you last time we conversed, most black men just don’t have the emotional capacity to deal with this. It’s an every day battle. I commend you for your strength and honesty. It gives me just a glimmer of hope that maybe we can get it right. I won’t hold my breathe though. And I’m only 30
Edit: I took care of my mom until age 20. She was very jaded and spiteful and I had to get away from her. She died in an hospital bed by herself 3 days after her birthday in 2017. If we can’t get along as a family or a unit as black men & women, all we can hope for is our kids to take care of us. So I sort of understand why my BM wants my daughters to herself. It’s a coping mechanism. I just pray everyday that my daughters don’t grow up to resent me and me and my son can maintain the level of love and comradery that we have.
@@richmondwotters very powerful testimony. Wow this is great and insightful. I pray women learn from this.
I’d also like to agree with your notion of BM exploiting the weaknesses of BW. In our defense it’s not on purpose sister I promise. All the hood teaches you is to take. It took me a while to understand how this works. Alot of our women will subconsciously coddle and baby us and wonder why don’t grow as men. It also breeds resentment. This is actually where not having a loving mother helped me in a weird way. Understand a lot of us as BM don’t have the blueprint to even live day to day. I was just lucky enough to have a dad to teach me things.
@@richmondwotters ❤️ Indeed!
I wish more black women watched your channel but the problem is... you are asking for accountability and not just blk women but as people in America we lack that heavily.
Other mothers in different ethnicities actuality love their children in particular their daughters. Theres not this weird jealous energy between mother and daughters. Lets be honest, black mothers sabotage their daughters lives. The lack of love and guudance spills over into how we treat men. If we never so much as got a hug or a smile from our mothers-how do you expect us to love our men. KS started to unpack this before he passed. The outpouring of stories that night from black daughters had me in tears-i didnt know i was the norm.
We start with our childhood...the beginning
Date interracially black women problem solved ,😊😊
Keep up the good work Nneka but we don't rock with Steve Harvey.
Your spirit comes from God. As a black woman , a woman the truth of the matter is you need salvation. Your not just out there. The bible reveals to humanity that we are in a spiritual warfare. So you truly have no choice but to understand why christ shed blood on the cross. If you don't see that..im sure if your impressed in your spirit to truly know your purpose. Call on the father God. First "you" must repent of your sins against God the creator. Then he will answer your question. No man can save you.
How does the opposite sex grow from watching videos focused on holding the opposite sex accountable?
You seem to understand psychology
THE ADVENTIST HOME&CHILD GUIDANCE ARE GREAT BOOKS TO READ,THE NAME OF THE AUTHOR IS ELLEN G.WHITE
Love you're content
WAITING TO HEAR WHAT YOU UNDERSTAND About BM
Love you please keep up the work thats is so needed.
Thank you!
MEN:
Responsibilities of a MAN: Husband First, Father Second
To be a good Husband you must give your Wife the Attention and Appreciation for her efforts.
To be a good Father you must Police, Teach, Love, Listen and provide needs not wants.
Black Men are Responsible for the Cultural and Generational Development of the Community
BUILD/REPAIR/MAINTAIN = Build yourself mentally and physically and Build your family
DEFEND/PROTECT=Remove BS from your life.
HUNT/PROVIDE RESOURCES=Go out and get the bag
FARM/INVEST=Take that bag and multiply it
A Man has become a Catch by building keep himself up Mentally and Physically.
You’re right ; black men should hold each other accountable while black women should apply the same morale in accordance with confronting one another on each others bs. You say some real s**t. I rock wit cha the long way.
I appreciate you!
Your doing Gods work my dear....please be strong.
Thank you for your mindset, humility and service to us as a people.
Keep growing.
You're a blessing!
Shalom ✌🏿
POOKIES AND RAY RAY'S TO BE SPECIFIC 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯
im a ray ray, learn to be one by age 16. got tired of being friendzoned or looked over as a nice guy,
been a thug ever since.
@@genovasquez8361 THIS IS THE WAY 🔥🔥🔥💯
You didn’t explain “the invisible woman”. You explained you reason for rebranding. You said that you agree with her. You didn’t explain why you agree. You didn’t even talk about your topic for this video. If seems like the video should have been called “why I’m rebranding”. If you’re hoping for our sisters to listen then why say “let me say this to black women so you don’t have to”. That’s why some of your comments say you grifting or clickbait
She is appealing to her mostly male audience which she has honestly said, she doesnt attract women, mostly because of her aesthetic,
But brothers love her.
Thank you for the super chat! I talked about BW being out of order (saying that I need to address men/deflecting,etc). I let Iyanla speak for me on this point. The main take away is: I no longer make content for BW. I do make content about BW. No clickbait. That is a major difference to me. I will go into more detail soon. 🙏🏾
@@nnekaonyilofor will be looking for it 🙏🏿
She has good intentions, but lacks structure in delivering her points. She seems to be “all over the place” with her thoughts. Bullet points and graphics on screen would be a great help to stay on topic. Best wishes.❤
@@Villagegrandma3174 this is just an introduction to later series.
This is addressing the new direction she is going in and addressing comments she is receiving from naysayers and opposition.
God bless you. I am not religious, but I’ll say a prayer and cross my fingers for your success. I do not believe that the masses of black women want to be held accountable. A large number don’t want to follow, but want to co-captain, and end up going it alone. Only to then complain of no protection and no covering. I wish we as people, lived for the next generations we produce and put their needs before our own.
What blows my mind with creators like Cynthia G is that they know that group of BM Is not the majority. Yet A lot BW have experienced them .. rather then challenging women to reevaluate why they find value in those type of BM . Those creators just deflect and put blame somewhere else
No make up and you still look good sis. I just started watching your channel and as a black man I appreciate your content. Keep up the much needed work.
@@WarrenlaidlerExp Thank you so much for your support! 🙏🏾
I really like and admire you. You are very interesting
Both adults, male and female, must live up to the expectations of accountability. Some adult human beings love to remain in the arrested development teenaged stage of minimum accountability and tons of fun. If there is no heeding to societal demands and needs to usher in accountability, we tend to take the road of unaccountability over accountability. Are there any adults ready to shoulder the need for accountability?
All is lost and it's a lost cause.
#LegalizeSexWork
I'm excited to see your new content.
I APPRECIATE YOUR CONTENT!🥳
Really ??? What’s the weather it don’t look that cold at all
It was like 48 degrees, but sunny!
Silver Spring!!!! Hey my neighborhood!
Wow. What a small world!
I am a #TrueWashingtonian. I pass that spot everyday. @@nnekaonyilofor
😂
FACTS
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💪🏾🙏🏾👍🏾 Great video and initiative on helping our people grow. I look forward to your content.
#lizzo 😅😅😅
Shot out to the DMV!
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Thanks!
Thank you! 🙏🏾
Holding a man responsible is like holding a thief responsible when you're the one going to the dark alley... it might factually make sense and the thief might be in the wrong but at the end of the day it changes nothing and you're still robbed. It's important to see the world how it is and not how it should be... you want to be happy and safe as a woman? Protect yourself because you, not a man, are in the vulnerable position. A man might know he's doing wrong but if there's no push back then he'll do it because he can, becasue there's very little he risks by doing so. The best way of holding a man responsible is not to preach to him on yt because most don't care about it the same way women do... the best way is to, as a woman, create boundaries for yourself and avoid men who don't respect you and are not worthy of your trust. Same as the best way of dealing dealing with the thief is to avoid him in the first place and not to get robbed and call the police.
society holds men accountable through
- child support
- alimony
- unemployment
Men are held accountable we dont have safety nets, bail outs, governement entitlements, nor grants, scholarships or SBA free money.
if men did we would have more black men in college. more black men with businesses.
A lot of times holding a woman accountable is akin to holding a child accountable. You can preach and break it down to a T and most the time it’ll fall of deaf ears because “you’re being mean”. But see as a man the solution can’t be just stay away from them because like you said they will be left vulnerable. But if she doesn’t want guidance and leadership what else is a man to do but watch her bump her head?
@@genovasquez8361I know plenty of men on disability and that's a form of welfare. Plus men can get food stamps and college grants just like woman can.
@@genovasquez8361 but men on which these things work don't need to be preached to. I'm giving an advice on how to avoid being someones 5th baby momma. And notice that I'm still preaching to women, not to men.
@@The-Oneness11 not as much as women can.
Plus there are grants and SBA loans just got being a black woman.
There is nothing for just being a black man.
This Bible Study helped me prepare for marriage,please Google KEYS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE AMAZING FACTS.