WHY We Self-Sabotage Ourselves, Procrastinate and DATE CRAZIES

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  • Опубликовано: 8 янв 2025

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  • @enfp
    @enfp  2 года назад

    And if you're having trouble looking for ways to form NEW relationships, check out my latest video on making friends/boyfriends/girlfriends out of strangers! ruclips.net/video/Mz3LQU3CUnQ/видео.html

  • @honeelordcomia7100
    @honeelordcomia7100 4 года назад +263

    Enfp living alone: I'm sad of being alone
    Enfp living with someone else: i want to be alone

    • @MommaRaver
      @MommaRaver 4 года назад +1

      Honee Lord Comia |. Lol. Riiight?

    • @honeelordcomia7100
      @honeelordcomia7100 4 года назад +3

      @@MommaRaver hahaha that's was only based on my experience when I moved in college 😁

    • @hannahrosal6627
      @hannahrosal6627 4 года назад +3

      😂😂😂😂😂 very very true

    • @babystarfir3
      @babystarfir3 4 года назад +4

      My dating life summarised ^^

    • @Uniquelosh
      @Uniquelosh 4 года назад +1

      LMAO! Super true!

  • @leannahamilton94
    @leannahamilton94 6 лет назад +234

    procrastinating by watching this video #enfp

    • @fredtwo8347
      @fredtwo8347 6 лет назад +15

      Replying to a comment because I can't focus on the Video. Hi Leanna! #enfp

    • @krissieg7862
      @krissieg7862 5 лет назад +11

      Lol just reading comments cause I can’t focus on the video and I think I can multi task enpf

    • @youtubedrifter5594
      @youtubedrifter5594 5 лет назад +1

      Hi I can multi task stop making excuses lol

    • @datscrazy4095
      @datscrazy4095 4 года назад

      @@youtubedrifter5594...

  • @giovannigarcia5895
    @giovannigarcia5895 4 года назад +105

    I’m an ENFP that invites friends over to force me to clean up the house lol

    • @Sarahcrawte
      @Sarahcrawte 4 года назад +4

      I used to to this too or I need to be on a phone call to clean or listen to a video

    • @samsworld1770
      @samsworld1770 3 года назад +1

      That's hilarious 😂😂😂

    • @Silvermoonscorpion
      @Silvermoonscorpion 3 года назад +1

      That is why I dread company. I'm a serious minimalist with a husband & kids.. no matter how little we have, there's always a mess.
      I've become a hermit, happily.

    • @sustertuti1208
      @sustertuti1208 3 года назад +2

      why, this is SO ACCURATE!!!

    • @hersheykisseys
      @hersheykisseys 3 года назад

      Those are gd for us

  • @catchingstars7
    @catchingstars7 4 года назад +71

    Captain's here!
    01:14 Tthere are six needs, of which 4 essential
    01:50 Need for certainty
    02:34 Need for variety
    04:27 Need for importance
    06:55 Need for love/connection
    09:33 People make the above overlap.
    Two fullfillment needs:
    14:50 Need for growth
    15:11 Need to give help back
    We have 2 primary needs that are dominant. Identify them via:
    18:29 Wat are bad habits aka which needs do you fulfill in a way that doesn't work for you? What are 3 good habits? How
    20:57 What can we do to meet our needs in a positive way?
    23:30 Consciously steer yours/others needs.
    25:30 Change a bad activity into a good one.

    • @dantellor1024
      @dantellor1024 4 года назад +4

      Thank you, I will use this as a reference so I can show bits and pieces of this video to my mom :)

    • @izi.z2384
      @izi.z2384 3 года назад +1

      Thank you, saved me time..

  • @kolbejerome4665
    @kolbejerome4665 5 лет назад +164

    23 seconds in and I'm already distracted by the comments #ENFPlife

    • @katielui131
      @katielui131 4 года назад +2

      14 seconds in

    • @katielui131
      @katielui131 4 года назад +2

      with double speed

    • @AdroElectro1337
      @AdroElectro1337 4 года назад

      I paused the video 9 seconds in to read the comments lol

    • @strawberryme801
      @strawberryme801 4 года назад

      1min XD with double speed.

    • @iamqas208
      @iamqas208 4 года назад +3

      2 seconds. Y'all be amateurs!

  • @DrMarilynTran
    @DrMarilynTran 7 лет назад +74

    Two primary needs: love and connection and growth. Bad habits: extended time on social media, past bad relationships that I stayed in for too long, drama. Good habits: reading (tons of self-help books), meditation, watching useful videos, dedication to time spent with friends and loved ones.

  • @crisameim
    @crisameim 6 лет назад +173

    Oh no... a long video. It’s only 3 minutes and I’m already distracted. I know fellow ENFPs can relate 😂
    Update: 7 minutes in video and I find myself focused. It’s a great topic!

    • @justgao
      @justgao 5 лет назад +4

      C M same! Took me 4 tries before I could come back to the video and work through it. Very glad I did though 😄

    • @dantellor1024
      @dantellor1024 4 года назад

      Yes, very worth it!

    • @williambossart1210
      @williambossart1210 3 года назад

      i sped the video up to1.5 and it was great

  • @joyful7650
    @joyful7650 7 лет назад +139

    Procrastinate✔ Date Crazies✔ Self-Sabotage✔
    Okay...on to the video.

  • @fatihmehmedfirat6346
    @fatihmehmedfirat6346 5 лет назад +41

    23:35 I really like the way he is with his language. Makes you see that everybody, including yourself is important and should feel comfortable. He really is putting a lot of effort in making it feel like you are in the same room, in front of each other and also putting a lot of effort in making our time spent on watching this not go to waste.
    Well Done brother. I appreciate your success and will to give back to the world. You are doing a hell of a job doing so.

    • @enfp
      @enfp  5 лет назад +1

      Thank you Fatih!

    • @MaliMaslacak526
      @MaliMaslacak526 Год назад

      What a wonderful comment you made here 😊 That says a lot about who you are as well. 🙂

    • @fatihmehmedfirat6346
      @fatihmehmedfirat6346 Год назад

      @@MaliMaslacak526 oh thank you! You must be a poet or a writer of sorts yourself

  • @ktwhimsy6946
    @ktwhimsy6946 5 лет назад +7

    My mind is in the process of being blown (in an awesome midnight-epiphany kind of way!).... for the last 5 years I’ve believed I am INFP (always type that way, but the E/I portion is usually super close, while the rest are not) and have been trying to make positive changes based on advice for INFP (well not only that) ... but after a full week of research/videos about ENFP struggles, this is me without a doubt! The very first thing I read that drew my attention was how ENFP often believe they are introverts ... and then I read about how ENFP react under stress... so many things are becoming clear 😱 I’ve been in a funk and bored with my work, even though I spent years working my ass off to build my own business, doing something I LOVE (creative jewelry design) - and as soon as it became super successful, and I had to make the same designs over & over, there was a shift and I’ve been trying to figure it all out! Getting an ADHD diagnosis at 35 was part of the puzzle and I do believe this is another piece!! 🙌🏻 ok going to watch video now, but I already relate so much to the first few minutes ...

  • @sophibee705
    @sophibee705 5 лет назад +14

    Just found your channel Dan. Firstly I’m always pleasantly surprised to find an ENFP focussed enough to generate content consistently. I gives me a lot of hope. I’ve been a a quest to learn about my wiring so I can harness it better.
    Top 2 needs
    1. Connection - I need to feel connected with the people I love. I need the certainty of these relationships. If I don’t I panic and life has no meaning. (I know, dramatic)
    2. Significance - which I think is linked to connection. I don’t need notoriety but I do need to feel seen, understood and valued. Again by the people I love. Feeling invisible, misunderstood, undervalued attacks my need for certainty in my relationships.
    Thank you for the insight. Will work on the negative and positive things I do and what needs they meet.

  • @susanmarie8526
    @susanmarie8526 6 лет назад +22

    Kept waiting for you to talk about procrastination! Wondering how that even fits in or why the word is in the title.
    About my primary needs: I was afraid to say that my two highest needs are connection and variety, because that could sound like I need variety in my connections but that's not true.
    I need variety in my work, studies hobbies, entertainment, etc. But I need both, stability and variety in my human connections. I love meeting and connecting with new people and learning what makes them who they are. But, I do need and appreciate stability and significance within my primary relationships.

  • @barbaraawalsh5022
    @barbaraawalsh5022 6 лет назад +29

    I am amazed that I have studied Psychology and Abnormal Psychology for many years, as well as in college. The instructor talked About Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, but never mentioned the 6 you bring up. This video is an eye-opener into the mind.
    I re-watched the video to be sure I did not miss anything in my notes. I realize there are a couple of things I can do to meet the need of "certainty" which is a little lacking.
    My oldest granddaughter is study Psychology for a career she is designing herself, and I told her to check this video. I am going to send her a copy of my notes. She is an advanced student in a University-High School so she studies different subjects than at a regular HS. When you were talking about Violence she will probably have some questions to ask her instructor in her Forensic Psychology class. I'm sure she will get something different out of this video than I did.

    • @googleuser9753
      @googleuser9753 6 лет назад

      Barbara A Walsh it’s Tony Robbin’s philosophy

  • @leachatee
    @leachatee 4 года назад +7

    I know this video is like 4 years old but i'm binge watching all of these ENFP ones right now lol. So I think my primary needs are significance and love/connection. Regarding fulfillment needs, its growth. I can be pretty self-centered at times. Bad habits regarding this: Too much time on Instagram/posting way too often und being destructive in arguments with the ones i love, even pushing them away. idk how that contributes to the love aspect tho. I get overly emotional, which can be good or bad. I procrastinate soooo much that it literally ruins everything so i should get that under control. Good habits: I'm very self aware and i do my best to better myself all the time. Looking back i did developed well. I'm very good at understanding and connecting with people and i enjoy creative activities.

  • @risarae5143
    @risarae5143 6 лет назад +18

    I pride myself on being pretty self aware so this video was fun! My job (as a CNA/caregiver) fulfills a ton of my major needs. I work with a home care agency so I get variety because I go to new clients and cities each day and I also love being on call because it's the uncertainty of who I will meet or if I get a day off! I also have a very high need for human connection, and guess what?? So do the client I go to! So I spend most of my shift chatting with elderly people about the most random and amazing things! And that hits on the need to learn! I'm always asking for advice from elderly people because they have more life experience than me! I have the need to feel important and some of my clients depend on me to simply get out of bed for the day, so my work is very important! Because my job is important, it fulfills the need to giveback/serve. Now, with all of this being said... My "bad habits" are over eating/emotional eating (which I don't think meets any of these needs but if I stretch you could say that it is a form of certainty? It's a coping mechanism to stress I guess), seeking attention (not even in a bad way but I like recognition for the good things that I do - hence why I'm writing this long ass post) and I'm a workaholic (as I am currently 22 hours into my 24 hour work day between 3 clients because I can't say no to helping out). I thrive on working. It gives me so many positive things! But at the expense of taking time for myself. ANYWAYS You asked for my top 2 needs, not my life story of needs, so my top 2 are probably social interaction and variety because I'm an ENFP :) Hopefully you read this even though this was posted over a year ago.

    • @frankknight1139
      @frankknight1139 6 лет назад +1

      I was a CNA for up to around a dozen elderly people at once... I have Severe ADD/High fuctioning autism, and Severe Anxiety. (btw-I'm an INFP-T) For virtaully the same reasons as you, I managed to make it for nearly a year... Basically the only real job I've ever held...after getting fired within a few days at others. The fact that I was there for the helpless at the near end of thier lives, conforted them, and myself, despite the endless brief changings. The wisdom emparted on me as well as the endless, "Thank you"'s I received made me Bust My Ass. That was over five years ago, and since then I've become homeless off and on, more and more withdrawn. If I could Somehow get back into the field, I would certainly take full advantage and fight on the front lines again. That being said, I can't see myself doing anything else, it Brought me a kind of joy and satisfaction, I so wish I could do again, I don't know what my point is exactly, I just Understand, and want to tell you: Keep Cheerishing what you do everyday!

  • @anulaine2628
    @anulaine2628 7 лет назад +27

    Wow! Thank you so much for this video. I've watched Tony Robbins speak about this, but you made much more sense. I realised, that everything bad happening to me by other people, has been because of their unhealthy way of meeting their needs. I don't have to take it personally anymore, I can let go. Same goes for me: my unhealthy ways of meeting my needs make me human. I want to do better, but I don't have to carry all this shame with me anymore. You have helped me find peace, thank you

    • @priscilladias2310
      @priscilladias2310 6 лет назад +2

      This is brilliant!

    • @Chloee922
      @Chloee922 5 лет назад +2

      ❤️❤️

    • @liclaclac6032
      @liclaclac6032 5 лет назад +1

      Anu Laine good luck for u sis, i already in the same situation and let it go is really the best way for me to be happy :D yayyyy

  • @shellypendlebury7717
    @shellypendlebury7717 3 года назад +1

    My first time listening to your video, Dan. Super interesting.
    My 2 main needs: Stability & connection. Stability allows me to fulfill my need for variety, change, spontaneity. Connection often leads to significance. I need to be seen as unique: possessing a different view of the world & moving thru life with a touch of quirk.

  • @melodybumgarner9035
    @melodybumgarner9035 5 лет назад +5

    ENFP. The idea of planning novelty... love it. I’ve never thought of it that way but I know it will help immensely! Thank you!

  • @helenhart4368
    @helenhart4368 5 лет назад +2

    I'm an INTJ who is just finally realizing how personality type makes sense. I found your channel after finding out that my son is an ENFP; he's awesome! Now that I've watched a few of your videos, I subscribed because I realize that your insights and advice are good for me too even though my personalty type is different.

    • @ktwhimsy6946
      @ktwhimsy6946 5 лет назад +1

      Sunshine Evel I know this comment is old but just wanted to say that I love INTJ’s!! I’m an ENFP but thought I was an introvert for most of my life, because 99% of the people I relate most with, and actually REALLY enjoying talking to, are introverts ... INTJ are by far the BEST people to have wild 3 hour conversations with ❤️ I might get a look when I start with the super feely emotional stuff, but I truly love those big beautiful INTJ brains! 😆 I feel like you guys usually have truly unique ideas & perspectives that no one else does!

  • @averykellington8472
    @averykellington8472 Год назад

    Fabulous info - I’m an ENFP motivated most by Variety and Connection/Love. Weird thing is, as the years go by, I realize that the first careers/job areas to which I felt drawn as a child and teen are absolutely what would have been the best fit for my personality and needs - before I was influenced by the higher education system, my parents (both driven by Security and Significance) and other societal pressures to take jobs that were more lucrative but ultimately turned out to be (surprise!) unsatisfying and monotonous. Thank you for shifting my perspective on needs and behaviors - incredibly helpful!

  • @xmontovanillix
    @xmontovanillix 5 лет назад +5

    connection and an equal amount of certainty and uncertainty. I like to think of it as "controlled chaos."
    Great video!

  • @marykim-garrity9358
    @marykim-garrity9358 6 лет назад +1

    1) significance
    2) connection tied with growth

  • @JaesonTannerNMG
    @JaesonTannerNMG 6 лет назад +3

    You are a wonderful extemporaneous speaker. The way you digress is charming. Reminds me of how I digress in public speaking. It’s a relief to see how it doesn’t disrupt the flow of the ideas. Also this is an unbelievably good video. I have a psychology junkie and this distillation of needs is extremely well thought out

    • @enfp
      @enfp  6 лет назад

      Thanks Jaeson, I really appreciate the kind words!

    • @JaesonTannerNMG
      @JaesonTannerNMG 6 лет назад +1

      @@enfp Buddy, hearing this phycological stuff (which I am obsessed with, btw) from a fellow ENFP has been utterly eye-opening for me. You have clarified years of struggle for me.

  • @catsie390
    @catsie390 5 лет назад +15

    This video is literally fascinating! Wow my brain feels so fed after this. From one enfp to another, thank you good sir! :D

    • @enfp
      @enfp  5 лет назад

      You're welcome Catsie!

  • @niceprincesslucky
    @niceprincesslucky 4 года назад +4

    23:31 we know you are an ENFP when you say “...if you want to... I’m not giving you orders” 😂

  • @murchie58
    @murchie58 4 года назад +1

    2 needs driving my life.Variety and to feel special.

  • @yolandacarrillo3681
    @yolandacarrillo3681 3 года назад +1

    This is really a great video. You are gifted. The two main needs I believe I need are to grow - thirst for knowledge, self-improvement, etc. - and helping whether it be a human, an animal, or the earth and environment. I believe the last one may have to do with my personality type, infj.

  • @lextexx
    @lextexx 4 года назад

    I know this video is about 30 minutes long, but it took me an HOUR to finish it cause I had to keep rewinding it. That being said, me finishing it at all is an accomplishment and shows how truly insightful this video is since I’m an ENFP. Helped me realize my bad habits and now I know healthy alternatives to meet my needs.

  • @PookieRodro
    @PookieRodro 4 года назад +1

    I love how he says not to judge your needs because most of us do that.
    I’m not gonna lie, This was a very enlightening discovery to me since for a while I thought I have narcissistic traits, but by not judging them I can find healthy ways to fulfill them.
    My Needs: significance and connection
    Thank you so much for the info!

    • @enfp
      @enfp  4 года назад

      You're welcome Rodrigo!

  • @aleksandra_erceg
    @aleksandra_erceg 4 года назад +1

    You are awesome!!!! I loved this! I've never thought about my needs as separate entities and the fact that they can create some kind of frustration if they haven't been met. Thank you so much! I feel like I know what to do with my smoking habit and all the other bad habits now :D ENFP love!

  • @barbarastorey4932
    @barbarastorey4932 6 лет назад +10

    I had a really hard time figuring out my needs and why I do things. Like I’m always late. Can’t figure that one out. I procrastinate. I think that is because I work better under stress but I’m not sure. I have a terrible time with over reacting, or being overly dramatic. I think it’s just because I’m so emotional and have bad anxiety but I’m not sure. I think something that would help me, should you do another video on this would be to give a whole lot more of examples from other people besides yourself. Thank you and keep up the good work!!

    • @TheTlqueen
      @TheTlqueen 6 лет назад +2

      Enfp ..always late. My whole life. Not just. Few min but hours. Ive lost relationships over it

    • @lintran2206
      @lintran2206 4 года назад

      I'm ENFP, I'm procrastinator as well, I like to wait until last minutes and do it. Just it's different when I go out to meet people, I always come earlier than them at least 5 to 30 minutes.

    • @marthamryglod291
      @marthamryglod291 4 года назад +2

      Enfp. Procrastinate, work best under tight deadlines, shoot myself in the foot. I've read that high emotional reaction is due to tying your self worth to others behavior and words. Gotta rely on self love, and other people will have less influence on your mood.

    • @sebastianfunk9564
      @sebastianfunk9564 4 года назад +1

      @@TheTlqueen if they didn’t wait for you they are not worth to be with you

  • @makaylafloyd8156
    @makaylafloyd8156 4 года назад

    I listed my bad habits and they all met my need for variety 😅 Well, I'm definitely an ENFP in quarantine!
    My main needs are variety and connection. My bad habits are constantly going to RUclips, shutting people out, and procrastinating (all variety). My good habits are Ty Chi daily (growth, importance), breaking up my sibs' arguments (importance, connection), and doing self improvement.

  • @danielaleao3953
    @danielaleao3953 7 лет назад +6

    Hi. I am brasilian and discovered me as ENFP shortly. Trying to Know more about this, I found your chanel. Despite of the language (yours english, mine portuguese) I think I understood you talking about religious workers (as Madre Tereza de Calculta) as a kind of "self promotion" when you said it´s a significance need. I´d like to share my point of view about this subject, as you asked in the video, just to increase the dialogue.
    Perheps you feel like that because you talk from a place where the neoliberalism (as a life style where the individual are stronger than the coletive aspects) is too disembodied that it´s hard to understand how to live in a diferent way, like supportive style.
    For people who lives in some places in the south hemisphere, this solidarity is the only way to survive.
    So, as you allowed me, I leave my opinion: I believe that the most important need to nurces and religious works is to help people, not to do self promotion.

  • @auburnsunlight
    @auburnsunlight 5 лет назад

    CORE NEEDS:
    1. Certainty (stability)
    2. Uncertainty (novelty&risk)
    3. Attention/Significance (sense of purpose and determination with a hint of individualism)
    4. Love&Connection (also quality time w/loved ones, hugs
    FULFILLMENT NEEDS
    1. Growth, development (physical/mental challenges & progress)
    2. Giving back
    Out of those: 2 primary needs, different for everyone

  • @mickeyroyal
    @mickeyroyal 6 лет назад +8

    Until now I used to feel there was something wrong with me for not feeling overly enthusiastic about eating at a restaurant where hamburgers were served upside down with fries on top LOL

  • @rebeccajones6345
    @rebeccajones6345 4 года назад

    I think my two most important needs are connection and insecurity/variety. This was very insightful! Thank you!

  • @achilleaben4761
    @achilleaben4761 6 лет назад +2

    The very first need that's obvious is need of growth. The second one I don't know if it is just me being an ENFP but it is need for variety.

  • @nicoledyer605
    @nicoledyer605 7 лет назад +4

    Top two needs: self healing through love and service to others by healing through love

    • @alexacaix99
      @alexacaix99 6 лет назад

      variety and human connection

  • @ThisisSuze
    @ThisisSuze 4 года назад +1

    Could you add the 6 needs in the description please so I can go back as a reminder? Thanks, watching lots of your videos, loving it!

  • @tiagarcia8285
    @tiagarcia8285 4 года назад

    Uncertainty and connection. Great videos. Thank you.

  • @purelyelizabeth4201
    @purelyelizabeth4201 6 лет назад +1

    I think it's interesting that you put the part where we have the need to feel significance. I believe people (not just ENFPs) need to feel like there's a reason they were put on this earth. That we will make a difference - an impact in the world.
    Fantastic content, thank you.
    -Your fellow ENFPian

  • @vincentpernicano3277
    @vincentpernicano3277 5 лет назад +2

    So you already said your main need is uncertainty and just guessing from this youtube channel you also cherish significance and you are simultaneously satisfying your need to grow (by covering various topics and learning) and your need to help others (i.e. myself), pretty smart, healthy, and efficient manner of maintaining those needs if you ask me. Thanks for the videos man I like your style!
    My needs in order, a little bit of a work in progress I'll admit...
    1.) The need for love and connection
    2.) The need for growth
    3.) The need for uncertainty (for me it also ties almost directly into growth)
    4.) The need for significance
    5.) The need for certainty
    6.) The need for giving back (realizing I should try and do this to a greater extent, even though it isn't what brings me lots of satisfaction)
    3 good things...
    Constantly trying to learn new things, actively trying to improve myself, challenge myself to do new and uncomfortable things
    3 bad things...
    Haven't done well with achieving long lasting relationships (like 3 or 4 months tops), get sidetracked really easily and lose focus hindering myself from following through with my ideas, I dont actively try to give back to other people enough.

    • @dantellor1024
      @dantellor1024 4 года назад

      If you can try to pair your #6 (giving back) with your #1 (love and connection), I'm sure it'll give you satisfaction!

  • @bombonk2
    @bombonk2 3 года назад

    It's definitely (probably..) the need for significance and the need for love and connection, the more I think about it the more it seems that way, and the imaginary scenarios I like to think of support that.

  • @SheemaSherry
    @SheemaSherry 5 лет назад +1

    Thank you very much for this! i'm an ENFP and I only paused 2 times because I remembered I needed to do something a few minutes and went back to watch again! this is so helpful and I really wished to take my book and pen and take notes but well I was folding the laundry as i watched this, so...no. i gotta finish what I was doing first and not get distracted 😅😅😅😅😅 speaking of the needs, I can think of doing the laundry (and other daily chores) as a way to meet the need for significance and love / connection 🤣 felt so good when my husband came home and was thankful that all the chores were done

  • @velles6095
    @velles6095 4 года назад

    Nothing but respect for doing this all in one take, you must've been really keen on pushing your boundaries on this one! Glad I stuck through it all, you summed up many thoughts I'd been having lately in an organized manner and helped me perceive my behavior in a better way. Thank you so so much! 3 years later and this vid still rocks. Timeless masterpiece

  • @michellearguello7083
    @michellearguello7083 5 лет назад +2

    My 2 primary love/connection and significance

    • @enfp
      @enfp  5 лет назад

      Awesome

  • @leahswanson5933
    @leahswanson5933 5 лет назад +1

    My 2 Needs are Feeling Unique & need for Love and Connection.

    • @enfp
      @enfp  5 лет назад

      Thanks Leah

  • @nafisa228
    @nafisa228 6 лет назад +3

    Well for me it's growth, variety and significance. I have these primary needs and I absolutely need them to be happy and satisfied and unfortunately these are not beng met!

  • @justinagates282
    @justinagates282 3 года назад +1

    Need for importance need for love & connection

  • @MrJRhacks
    @MrJRhacks 4 года назад +1

    My 2 primary needs are probably feeling unique or special and a need for variety. I really don´t want to be like everyone else and want to be seen as `normal´ and I have so many different interests that it seems like I pretty much like to do anything.

  • @Barbi54
    @Barbi54 3 года назад

    Variety, love, growth.

  • @DiloshDilosHDilosH
    @DiloshDilosHDilosH 6 лет назад +4

    I turn 50 late January this year and decided to take up singing, just for fun. I shaved off my hair on new years eve just because I was bored of my look and dreadlocks were too expensive to get. Turned out quite good I look like Sinead O’Conner when she had her hair shaved. Variety is my middle name, so much to do, so little time, which reminds me to get those projects done that I got bored of 20 years ago, LOL 😆

  • @Zeph_the_rapper
    @Zeph_the_rapper 4 года назад +1

    you described it perfectly. being an enfp is being a cowboy ninja!!!

  • @The.ControversialChristian
    @The.ControversialChristian 6 лет назад +1

    So my 2 prominent needs are variety and significance. As I look at my life I can say with no doubt that significance is not being met by any means and it’s getting very tough and leading to depression. I tend to make up these elaborate stories that make me seem super special just to get a little attention, I spend money on stupid things to treat myself bc I want people to think I’m something great, and the other habit is I don’t follow through with things I say I’ll do. I always want to help others and my heart is to help others achieve their greatness and be the best them they can be! I want to reach the youth and help with teen suicide and depression. But all of this points to significance.. I’m so lost right now man.

  • @steveyk
    @steveyk 6 лет назад +4

    Connections and helping others

  • @mezidvemastromy5546
    @mezidvemastromy5546 3 года назад

    Most important needs of my life? Freedom and stability, the two reasons I act a little bit goofy time by time.

  • @a.k_ramstar8859
    @a.k_ramstar8859 2 года назад

    wooow...this is a very interesting topic. understanding this basic elements can help to be more happier in life. thank you very much.

  • @claramercier7924
    @claramercier7924 4 года назад

    I think my major needs are connection, giving back and variety

  • @weareeternal81
    @weareeternal81 3 года назад

    INFP here, I think my life revolves pretty heavily around balance between Variety and Security

  • @caraellen936
    @caraellen936 7 лет назад +1

    Im definitely mostly driven by a need for variety and for emotional connection. I’m searching for a good field to study to meet that variety need without hurting myself through that, as well as keeping a chance for myself to have strong emotional bonds.

    • @stevefurniss3811
      @stevefurniss3811 6 лет назад

      Maybe you should think about something that has a teaching/training/coaching element to it? It worked for me. 👍

  • @bleverett1
    @bleverett1 7 лет назад +1

    I️ am an Enfj and your channel has helped me understand myself and my shortcomings

    • @enfp
      @enfp  7 лет назад

      +Barbara Leverett happy to hear this! Any requests for videos about enfjs?

  • @yushaa
    @yushaa 4 года назад

    I don't watch motivational or self help videos but this was amazing. Spot on and it gives me a lot to think about - why I find my habits and emotional crashes seem to be cyclical and I can't see a way out to get better. I'm gonna shift my perspective, like this video recommends and I have a great feeling it'll help me be so much more empowered. Thank you! I'm a new subscriber now!

    • @enfp
      @enfp  4 года назад

      Awesome! Great to have you here! :)

  • @Sarahcrawte
    @Sarahcrawte 4 года назад

    Human connection- attention, variety & significance

    • @Sarahcrawte
      @Sarahcrawte 4 года назад

      Human connection- I give larger tip because I used to be a server.
      I clean up in hotel because I used to be a housekeeper.
      I feel when I visit a gym almost as if I want people to know I used to be a trainer to connect with the staff.
      I like to ask people questions about why they do what they do but sometimes I find I talk over them and need to stop this.
      Attention- when I am in a relationship I want to physically be touching the person a lot when with them holding hand, hugs or looking into their eyes !
      Variety unshakably I travel to new places every couple of months. I also travel to places usually every couple of weeks or do new activities. Lately instead with covid I have been dying my hair a lot of different colors.
      Significance -
      I help people at work to validate myself sometimes or for recognition.
      I want to create videos to share experiences/ story tell ... really I want to be a nomad who travels to untraveled to locations and document (why? I thing because of curiosity, need for uncertainty, purpose , education and human connection,,, maybe!!!!)

  • @xuanius
    @xuanius 6 лет назад +3

    stability, variety and significance
    I like learning things (mental variety) and solving problems for the sake of it while living in physical comfort and luxury (stability), ideally while my work is making the world better (significance).
    My need for human connection is pretty minimal. Hanging out with a small core group every few months is sufficient.

  • @TheButterpecants
    @TheButterpecants 6 лет назад

    I just found these videos and I love them. My main pull is the need for variety and if I have to choose the second, I would say the need to feel significant. I notice as a teacher, I hate having the routine of going to class everyday. But, I would say it falls more of being depended on. Though we have fun when I finally get there, I hate that this is expected of me and that I can’t live life doing whatever I want. What’s worse is that I have many absences because I just don’t feel like going. But, I don’t have the slightest clue how to change it.

    • @enfp
      @enfp  6 лет назад

      When have you felt the most engaged and satisfied with life?

    • @jmesuz
      @jmesuz 6 лет назад +1

      @@enfp I'm reading this and thinking how much I relate as an ENFP as well, and my additional thought is that out of the 4 needs, I would rank my need for certainty absolute last, but it seems achieving certainty might solve many of my problems??? I.e. if I am on time and not procrastinating my life would go some much more smoothly, my relationships with and work/ bureaucracy would improve...just an observation and I guess a question as well...Why don't I feel compelled that that is a strong need when the lack of it causes me so many problems? ...LOL

    • @jmesuz
      @jmesuz 6 лет назад

      I meant relationships with SJs especially...LOL

  • @bartomiejbiaobrzewski5225
    @bartomiejbiaobrzewski5225 5 лет назад

    Awesome, the extensive nature of your approach to the topic makes it enormously useful.

  • @dangernoodle9961
    @dangernoodle9961 6 лет назад +1

    I think my two top primary needs would be personal connection and significance, though significance is tied with variety.

  • @smittysparrow1634
    @smittysparrow1634 4 года назад

    while watching this video i needed to translate a word for me. opened another tab. then i saw that i still had a twitch tab open and looked at it. was at the main page of twitch and saw a random girl streaming farming simulator (usually a game to boring for me) and she was helping someone in the chat with an issue. she was very kind. All in all i ended up following that streamer and forgot what i was doing. minute 6 in your video btw
    i guess i belong here.
    and great video so far :)

    • @enfp
      @enfp  4 года назад +1

      Haha at least we're being honest with each other :)

  • @Star-ie8br
    @Star-ie8br 3 года назад

    My top needs are
    Freedom- can also be described as comfortable environment
    And Significance. 🤔❤

  • @liamsolley9292
    @liamsolley9292 7 лет назад +4

    ENFP here, I'm definitely significance and human connection, the latter of which I've been really struggling with of late. I think I generally need a balance of certainty and variety, possibly skewed slightly toward the variety side. Either way wherever I am right now they're both met I feel. Anyways thanks for the great video, changed my perspective dramatically which I always appreciate 😁

  • @carlala3156
    @carlala3156 5 лет назад

    Yes I struggle w/smoking. I have never had (besides the ad, cool factor) other motivations, explained. Nice.
    I’ll pick up, where you left off, on large tip? A lady? would dine at my friend’s restaurant every Sunday leaving $100 bill for her three friends to...? After they left she, re-enter, explaining how she thought it was a $20, to THE SAME WAITRESS, who, always gave it back for the $20.
    Recently, diagnosed. INFP, here - 26 yrs ago, I took a Mime Class. For significance? I would talk. I could finish the course due to I sense a failure, and dangerous crime area and ring in the dark to attend in Houston, TX. Now, sometimes, I’ll hone in on location of head-splitting screaming toddler, at store unbeknownst to the parent(s). It works! Either out of fear or amazement. Yes, making the world a better place, however insignificant.
    You really should work on a more gruff, violent approach, invoking your Rex Harrison as in In The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. I’m glad you’re not a vegan. I think he smokes a pipe.

  • @sassyredpanda2801
    @sassyredpanda2801 6 лет назад

    I didn't have the patience for this video, not the video's fault, just my attention span, but I'm glad I watched it all the way through! It helped me soooo much! Things that have been vexing me, I feel like I now have some tools to deal with them. Thank you!

    • @enfp
      @enfp  6 лет назад

      Glad you toughed it out! One thing I'd suggest is to watch videos at 1.25 or 1.5x (you can adjust the speed within the RUclips video player). It's a must for training type videos like this one :)

  • @sakunthalalankageeganage7631
    @sakunthalalankageeganage7631 2 года назад

    Thanks Dan... your content is really good n helpful to validate stuff im trying to figure out myself.. Really appreciate your efforts. Saku from Sri Lanka

  • @cocoglasgow6785
    @cocoglasgow6785 3 года назад

    Growth & Novelty...my 2 most driving needs

  • @abstract-thoughts
    @abstract-thoughts 2 года назад

    From an INTJ, mine are 1. Need for certainty, 2. Need for growth.

  • @meldidyladeda
    @meldidyladeda 6 лет назад +1

    Clicked on one of your posts today and have been listening to you all morning. I find you very clear, informative and inspirational. I will stay tuned, I think you're awesome! thank you xo

    • @enfp
      @enfp  6 лет назад

      Thanks :)

  • @kristih9359
    @kristih9359 4 года назад

    Literally climbed a mountain and posted about it today... I think I know what my two primary needs are

  • @desireesedibe3733
    @desireesedibe3733 5 лет назад

    Omg I love what you said at the end! I feel so much better about myself, and you give good advice how to change! Thank a lot!

  • @kaiyyahimani
    @kaiyyahimani 6 лет назад +3

    New subbie, there's some really great advice in this vid. It is soo tempting when you have a negative behaviour to just assume that there is something broken in you, but I will definitely be making more effort to analyse the behaviours that are holding me back and see if I can modify them in a way that suits me. Thanks a lot! Keep going dude!

    • @enfp
      @enfp  6 лет назад

      Thank you and welcome! I'll be keeping going, actually, expect A LOT of videos in the coming month.

  • @kumarshashwat3876
    @kumarshashwat3876 7 лет назад +2

    Great Video! I understand you better than I do Tony Robbins.I guess I need variety and connection more than anything else but maybe that's because I am barely able to meet any of them.

    • @enfp
      @enfp  7 лет назад

      Interesting, so right now those feel like your deepest needs, because they're lacking. What do you think are your driving needs, the things that have shaped your life decisions?

  • @timandtheocean
    @timandtheocean 6 лет назад +1

    Another dude ENFP living in Prague as well. Shout out for the great video's. Thanks for your effort.

    • @enfp
      @enfp  6 лет назад +3

      I suppose it shouldn't be too surprising...It's a great place for us ENFPs!

    • @marinasparkles
      @marinasparkles 4 года назад +1

      @@enfp Another ENFP here in Prague, saying hi, too :D

  • @CRANTIME
    @CRANTIME 5 лет назад +4

    This video definitely opened my eyes to a different way of thinking.
    That being said, I still don't know why I procrastinate.
    Is it a need for stability because I like how I'm feeling in the moment of not doing anything? Cuz getting work done and making that money will make me way more stable in the long run. I still don't get it

  • @shambhavisinha2816
    @shambhavisinha2816 6 лет назад

    Variety and giving back to society and I NEED human interaction

    • @enfp
      @enfp  6 лет назад +1

      Awesome. Yup I think we all need that human interaction!

  • @Hamzak786
    @Hamzak786 3 года назад

    I feel like a lot of people talk about substance but dont dont actually have it. Also I feel that people get way to friendly with us and alot of the time on dates, just simply lose attraction..

  • @anettehardy19
    @anettehardy19 4 года назад

    I had to ask my mom and close friends for my primary needs since I can relate with all of them depending on the circumstances xD We all agreed I usually need variety but also stability both combined in one primary need, second need for me would be growth (even if my friends think it’s need for helping others, this makes me happy but it’s not a need for me) -ENFP :D

  • @amandabennett6734
    @amandabennett6734 7 лет назад +1

    Wow favorite utube video EVER!!!! N ive watched ALOT!!!! I LOVE it!!! Thank u very much foe this. Infp here, struggle with this kind of stuff alot n havent been able to see thus perspective untill now, THANK U!!! LOL this needs to be on ever news station - breaking news!!!!!!

    • @enfp
      @enfp  7 лет назад +2

      I agree, call CNN for me! Thanks Amanda!

  • @SuDattLam
    @SuDattLam 6 лет назад

    superb!! It's very eye-opening. I will definitely start to to analyse why i have those needs, why i did them and take note about others. Thank you very much for making this video!. Kudos to you.

    • @enfp
      @enfp  6 лет назад

      You're very welcome!

  • @kathleenrivard2881
    @kathleenrivard2881 4 года назад

    Just got into insta this year. Super fun and makes me feel connected.

  • @nataliewantscookies
    @nataliewantscookies 7 лет назад

    Top needs: significance and variety

  • @Djmafefe
    @Djmafefe 6 лет назад +1

    omg i love the paintings in your house!!!

  • @wendyschwarz9811
    @wendyschwarz9811 3 года назад

    I really enjoy your videos:) I definitely have a need for variety and connection.

    • @enfp
      @enfp  3 года назад

      Thanks Wendy :)

  • @victoriagoadsby70
    @victoriagoadsby70 6 лет назад +2

    Dude. I appreciate greatly! BIG love!

    • @enfp
      @enfp  6 лет назад

      I appreciate YOU! Keep watching :)

  • @icebluejungle
    @icebluejungle 6 лет назад +4

    Hi Dan, thank you for making this video easy to understand, it helps a lot in my self-awareness journey as an ENFP :)
    By the way, is "need for recognition" similar to "need for significance"?

  • @kathleenrivard2881
    @kathleenrivard2881 4 года назад

    Uncertainty is not fun and also the most fun.

  • @ingrid5944
    @ingrid5944 4 года назад

    Yes, this video helped me a lot and it was worth watching till he end!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Thank you so much for all of that! And oh, I'm and ENFP who just subscribed to your channel and dude, I kinda knew everything that you were about to say haha It's so awesome to see someone that talk and think so much like ourselves!!! I'm loving finding out I'm an ENFP after thinking I was an INFP 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
    My priorities are the necessity of growing and improving, real connection with people and having freedom to do what I want to and experience new things ❤️❤️❤️

    • @enfp
      @enfp  4 года назад +1

      Welcome and thank you!

  • @peterbutler7199
    @peterbutler7199 6 лет назад +1

    Significance and Connection

  • @lindyn4
    @lindyn4 6 лет назад

    My heightened need is significance. I think it's because I'm not as successful at work as I would I would like to be and I have a need to self actualize.

  • @maiwinn
    @maiwinn 3 года назад

    For anyone who wants to dive deeper, this concept of 6 human needs is from Tony Robbins. I’m surprised he wasn’t credited in the video.

  • @annetteglass2006
    @annetteglass2006 7 лет назад

    This is the best explanation I've heard of these issues. Presented with no false pretense and in plain language. Great work. Why don't you set up a Patreon (sp?) page?