My parents got divorced when I was young, fighting in the house before the divorce as well. I was 9 at the time. I became very angry and hated my dad and mom. My mom got hopped up on pills and booze (which I didn't know at the time) my dad showed up once a week for a few hours to pick us up. So basically I was unsupervised. I ended up at parties with high school seniors at age 12, smoking cigs and drinking. I became an addict. I still battle with my addictions and depression from it. If I take anti depressants I'll just get addicted them too, so that doesn't work for my situation. Point being, all of this happened due to the divorce and my parents inability to put their children's well being ahead of their own personal quarrels. If you have kids and you get a divorce you're a piece of shit and self centered.
Speaking totally anecdotally, my dad left my mom when I was 2 and I met my step-dad at 3. I often don't get along with the guy, but the structural support he provided to our family was entirely necessary. Unless the guy is abusive, a single mother shouldn't rely on herself alone to raise children. Scarce is the woman capable of making that work.
Yeah I think its circumstantial specifically he mentioned David Cross who's parents divorced when he was 13, that would be a horrible age for a stranger to move into your house. My parents split up when I was a teen and when I was 15/16 my mothers then BF would be in the house it would have been much better if he had not been there.
Well I think it depends. A mother should never get married to a man who doesn't know how to handle her children. That's a disaster. He's marrying the family; not just her. Also, it's incredibly stupid of a woman to allow a man to sleep in her house if they're not yet married. He holds no sense of legitimate authority. Of course children wouldn't respect the guy. He doesn't have the balls to marry their mom.
The worst "stranger danger" is when a single mother gets a new boyfriend who moves into the house. These kids are at least TWENTY times more likely to be sexually abused. Not to mention, the moms compromise the safety of their children just for some free babysitting.
I was 23 when I got married and was happy to find a husband and focus on my marriage before having kids. Many of the women I knew from high school wanted to "have fun" and focus on their careers. Now I am 38 and have five kids and my best friend from high school is sad that her boyfriend doesn't ever want to have kids and she doesn't know what to do because now she suddenly wants to settle down. She had an opportunity when she was in her late twenties when her boyfriend proposed but she said she thought he saw her as "nothing more than a uterus" because he wanted to have children with her and they called off the engagement.
My mom left my dad when I was 10. She ended up becoming a heavy drinker. The constant back and forth between parents and feeling like I had to choose made me miss the fighting honestly. My dad did everything he could to try to give us a normal life but it still hurts so much and affects everything I do. Idk what to do to get past it. My mom deals with immense regret over it and has offered to pay for me to go to therapy but I really don't know if that's the right thing to do. If anyone reading this has emotionally moved on from their parents divorce I would really appreciate some advice here.
@@mattrozdoba5660 I've thought about it for a long time. I've had some big life changes recently so I might when things slow down a bit. Thanks for the reply
Literally, marriage has nothing to do with the state. You’re professing your eternal, unconditional love to another human in front of both of your entire family and friends… divorce should require a jury of everyone who attended the wedding. And they should all be able to testify against both of you.
I've been married 2 years and been with same women for over 20 years. I only married her after we decided to have a kid. The relationship didn't change from being together for 20 years vs our 2 years of marriage. What ever works for you
I think it's a good thing that they think marriage is good but they should talk to the boomers who they said normalized divorce and ask them why they divorced. I'm not hearing this perspective from them.
Right. It's about what the paper represents. Why don't people burn their Degree certificates, or their family pictures? It's all just paper after all. Money used to be backed by gold, which I think is a good metaphor for marriage papers.
Michael Paliden Then burn all your $100 bills. They are just paper, just like a marriage license. You can play on that all you want, but you're wrong no matter how you try to twist, flip, extend meaning to common words, or common phrases, or even get as stupid as the composition of a $100 bill. It's still just a piece of paper. Just like your deed, or title to your property. Burn it! It's just paper, after all. After we are demanded to carry our 'papers' with us, or face government wrath, you can debate that issue then. See how far it takes you. Look! Either marry her, or don't. It's not fair to pull the 'It's just a piece of paper' crap. That not having a piece of paper has great meaning, and shows level of commitment also.
Wigan Pierre I agree! We make a commitment when we sign any contract. Just see what happens if you want to just, use a house, but not buy it. No paper required, but you don't get the house either. Lol! The seller of the house, and the bank (if used) will require that 'meaningless' paper.
distinguish between marriage and marriage legality from the state office of commerce licensing. Clearly the licences doesn't make people hold to their commitment.
Im 20 and yeah I’m the kid who had divorce parents since I was baby so now I’m saying is it even worth even dating. Now I hate the whole feminist act but I just don’t see see why even go to the worth of getting married.
As someone whose parents divorced when they were 2, I can't thank these two enough for their perspective on this issue. They're not perfect, and I certainly don't agree with them on everything (especially Stefan), but I agree with them 100% on this issue. I especially liked Stefan's story of the French couple saying you date hundreds of people over the course of your life when you get married, because you're both constantly growing and changing, and that's something I'm going to try to take into my marriage.
Del Common it’s a public proclamation of the promise to stay together “for better or worse”. It makes it harder both through bureaucratic hoops of government and socially through friends and family but also the wider stigma of being divorced. It suggests you don’t think important decisions through and have commitment issues and it gives people cues on what kind of person you are. Taking away that stigmatisation is a sign of moral degradation. As we know, children who grow up with their mummy and daddy are statistically happier and turn out more well adjusted and less neurotic. Some people are happy with divorced parents and some unhappy with married parents but on average it’s not close. Divorce should mean something really statistically happened like violence or having a child with another person. De stigmatising divorce and under valuing marriage is not good for society and in 90% of cases the family. The family being the backbone of western civilisation has caused the collapse and Donald Trump being in the Whitehouse. It’s what built western civilisation and tearing it down to help a few cases is bad policy. We don’t know the long term consequences and so far, it ain’t looking good. Also, children with a non biological father are 30 times more likely to be abused in some form.
These guys are soo intelligent & they're praising modern marriage , not good , 1 divorce every 35 seconds , 90% of divorces are filed by women , 98% of alimony is paid by men , soo many flaws in marriage
Stefan Molyneux needs to return to YT. It’s just not the same without his wisdom. His racier stuff later got kooky to me but he was once a very profound libertarian.
The 'divorced'/broke up and now 'singing in the rain' type of happy' myth is close to being a ponzi scheme. I know/met dozens pf people during my adulthood who would, when in public, claim to 'have done the best thing - followup my way and find happiness' type of coffee table preaching while being themselves totally broken, often spending two days every month hiding in their bed, paralized by depression which they themselves blamed on their divorce. I do not say here they were 100% correct in this diagnose: just that their 'public' image was a fraud.
I was born in 74 and my parents got divorced before I was a year old. I remember in first grade our teacher ask the kids how many parents were divorced and in a class of 30 I was the only 1. by the time I was in 8th grade half the class parents were divorced. I was also 1 of the rare few who was raised by their father and not their mother. I always wanted to know what it was like to have married parents. my step parents on both sides were total jerks.
Gavin and Stefan: You can be friends with your ex but still NOT want to live with them! Sometimes relationships end.You move on. You can still love parts of an ex and enjoy each others company,but still NOT have to live together.
Keoki true...there are different dimensions the dude might be gay ...or they just simply click on a friendship level. Maybe they aren't really that attracted to each other. Etc. But I would find it awkward to date someone who still has a bottle of wine and chats with his ex...
I love these two and their POV.... its very true -the story Stefan said about when you're married to someone..and how we're constantly changing as we grow so its like dating different people - i know my husband dates a different chic every night with my "bi polar" ass 😂
Exactly! People grow and change overtime. There's always something new, but If you really feel bored then you can just role play or something xD That's better than starting over with a different person. That would be like dying half way through a game then having to start right at the beginning again. SCREW THAT
My ex and i get along like best friends, but she cheated for a year on me and our son's and shacked up with the dude..her new dude is a jackass ( he also cheated on his wife of 20 years and left his two teenage boys...her and i were together for 16 1/2 yrs and have two boys that she got custody of, she is a selfish human that fucked up all of our lives....I did not do anything wrong and we could have worked out her issues, but she and her new man try to play Family now with my sons....some people are scum with no real Family Values anymore...I lost everything and had to move into an 8 x 10 room...btw, she gained 40 pds and has a gunt now, I am still hot...lol.
Divorce is fine if you don't have kids. But if you're married with kids, and then you get a divorce, you're a piece of shit 99% of the time with the rare exception of horrible abuse. It's so sad how parents will so quickly choose to mentally damage their own children by getting a divorce.
Del Common it’s a public proclamation of the promise to stay together “for better or worse”. It makes it harder both through bureaucratic hoops of government and socially through friends and family but also the wider stigma of being divorced. It suggests you don’t think important decisions through and have commitment issues and it gives people cues on what kind of person you are. Taking away that stigmatisation is a sign of moral degradation. As we know, children who grow up with their mummy and daddy are statistically happier and turn out more well adjusted and less neurotic. Some people are happy with divorced parents and some unhappy with married parents but on average it’s not close. Divorce should mean something really statistically happened like violence or having a child with another person. De stigmatising divorce and under valuing marriage is not good for society and in 90% of cases the family. The family being the backbone of western civilisation has caused the collapse and Donald Trump being in the Whitehouse. It’s what built western civilisation and tearing it down to help a few cases is bad policy. We don’t know the long term consequences and so far, it ain’t looking good. Also, children with a non biological father are 30 times more likely to be abused in some form.
My parents divorced in the late70's, I wasn't living their life. I met my husband when we where 16 and we've been married for 33 years and raised 4 kids, and now have our first of many grandchildren has arrived. I have seen my husband change from a teenager to a grandpa. Life is a roller coaster ride, hand on tight (to each other). Now it's the next chapter, "life after kids move out ", time for us, travel, whatever we want to do. We still have like 50 years to have a good time.
That's so inspiring. Great for you! It's so easy to lose hope in the whole concept of marriage when you see so many fail, but marriages do work if you put in the work. :)
Howard J Cartmell dude, it's not that I'm denying what you said, it's that today marriage is an extremely harsh deal for men when you take into account to women who we have to choose from and the laws which give wives substantially more rights than husbands.
My parents got divorced when I was young, fighting in the house before the divorce as well. I was 9 at the time. I became very angry and hated my dad and mom. My mom got hopped up on pills and booze (which I didn't know at the time) my dad showed up once a week for a few hours to pick us up. So basically I was unsupervised. I ended up at parties with high school seniors at age 12, smoking cigs and drinking. I became an addict. I still battle with my addictions and depression from it. If I take anti depressants I'll just get addicted them too, so that doesn't work for my situation. Point being, all of this happened due to the divorce and my parents inability to put their children's well being ahead of their own personal quarrels. If you have kids and you get a divorce you're a piece of shit and self centered.
BASED. Thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts.
Hahahhaha Gavins british accent was spot on!
I disagree with replacing the father, parents being split up is bad enough but then having another man in your home is awful.
Speaking totally anecdotally, my dad left my mom when I was 2 and I met my step-dad at 3. I often don't get along with the guy, but the structural support he provided to our family was entirely necessary. Unless the guy is abusive, a single mother shouldn't rely on herself alone to raise children. Scarce is the woman capable of making that work.
Yeah I think its circumstantial specifically he mentioned David Cross who's parents divorced when he was 13, that would be a horrible age for a stranger to move into your house. My parents split up when I was a teen and when I was 15/16 my mothers then BF would be in the house it would have been much better if he had not been there.
Well I think it depends. A mother should never get married to a man who doesn't know how to handle her children. That's a disaster. He's marrying the family; not just her.
Also, it's incredibly stupid of a woman to allow a man to sleep in her house if they're not yet married. He holds no sense of legitimate authority. Of course children wouldn't respect the guy. He doesn't have the balls to marry their mom.
The worst "stranger danger" is when a single mother gets a new boyfriend who moves into the house. These kids are at least TWENTY times more likely to be sexually abused. Not to mention, the moms compromise the safety of their children just for some free babysitting.
I was 23 when I got married and was happy to find a husband and focus on my marriage before having kids. Many of the women I knew from high school wanted to "have fun" and focus on their careers. Now I am 38 and have five kids and my best friend from high school is sad that her boyfriend doesn't ever want to have kids and she doesn't know what to do because now she suddenly wants to settle down. She had an opportunity when she was in her late twenties when her boyfriend proposed but she said she thought he saw her as "nothing more than a uterus" because he wanted to have children with her and they called off the engagement.
My mom left my dad when I was 10. She ended up becoming a heavy drinker. The constant back and forth between parents and feeling like I had to choose made me miss the fighting honestly. My dad did everything he could to try to give us a normal life but it still hurts so much and affects everything I do. Idk what to do to get past it.
My mom deals with immense regret over it and has offered to pay for me to go to therapy but I really don't know if that's the right thing to do. If anyone reading this has emotionally moved on from their parents divorce I would really appreciate some advice here.
Take therapy
@@mattrozdoba5660 I've thought about it for a long time. I've had some big life changes recently so I might when things slow down a bit. Thanks for the reply
Melania Trump's Christmas decorations are a visual strengthening of family and religion.
Literally, marriage has nothing to do with the state. You’re professing your eternal, unconditional love to another human in front of both of your entire family and friends… divorce should require a jury of everyone who attended the wedding. And they should all be able to testify against both of you.
I've been married 2 years and been with same women for over 20 years. I only married her after we decided to have a kid. The relationship didn't change from being together for 20 years vs our 2 years of marriage. What ever works for you
Honestly a really good discussion
I think it's a good thing that they think marriage is good but they should talk to the boomers who they said normalized divorce and ask them why they divorced. I'm not hearing this perspective from them.
If a piece of paper means nothing then just set fire to a few hundred dollar bills, after all, it's just a piece of paper.
Right. It's about what the paper represents. Why don't people burn their Degree certificates, or their family pictures? It's all just paper after all. Money used to be backed by gold, which I think is a good metaphor for marriage papers.
US currency isn't made of paper
Michael Paliden
Then burn all your $100 bills. They are just paper, just like a marriage license.
You can play on that all you want, but you're wrong no matter how you try to twist, flip, extend meaning to common words, or common phrases, or even get as stupid as the composition of a $100 bill. It's still just a piece of paper. Just like your deed, or title to your property. Burn it! It's just paper, after all.
After we are demanded to carry our 'papers' with us, or face government wrath, you can debate that issue then. See how far it takes you.
Look! Either marry her, or don't. It's not fair to pull the 'It's just a piece of paper' crap. That not having a piece of paper has great meaning, and shows level of commitment also.
Wigan Pierre I agree! We make a commitment when we sign any contract. Just see what happens if you want to just, use a house, but not buy it. No paper required, but you don't get the house either. Lol!
The seller of the house, and the bank (if used) will require that 'meaningless' paper.
distinguish between marriage and marriage legality from the state office of commerce licensing.
Clearly the licences doesn't make people hold to their commitment.
Im 20 and yeah I’m the kid who had divorce parents since I was baby so now I’m saying is it even worth even dating. Now I hate the whole feminist act but I just don’t see see why even go to the worth of getting married.
I beg your pardon. I've a pet turtle and rock the free world, cookin with gas, eh?
As someone whose parents divorced when they were 2, I can't thank these two enough for their perspective on this issue. They're not perfect, and I certainly don't agree with them on everything (especially Stefan), but I agree with them 100% on this issue. I especially liked Stefan's story of the French couple saying you date hundreds of people over the course of your life when you get married, because you're both constantly growing and changing, and that's something I'm going to try to take into my marriage.
Del Common it’s a public proclamation of the promise to stay together “for better or worse”. It makes it harder both through bureaucratic hoops of government and socially through friends and family but also the wider stigma of being divorced.
It suggests you don’t think important decisions through and have commitment issues and it gives people cues on what kind of person you are. Taking away that stigmatisation is a sign of moral degradation. As we know, children who grow up with their mummy and daddy are statistically happier and turn out more well adjusted and less neurotic. Some people are happy with divorced parents and some unhappy with married parents but on average it’s not close. Divorce should mean something really statistically happened like violence or having a child with another person. De stigmatising divorce and under valuing marriage is not good for society and in 90% of cases the family. The family being the backbone of western civilisation has caused the collapse and Donald Trump being in the Whitehouse. It’s what built western civilisation and tearing it down to help a few cases is bad policy. We don’t know the long term consequences and so far, it ain’t looking good. Also, children with a non biological father are 30 times more likely to be abused in some form.
5:55 Gavin's face hahaha.
These guys are soo intelligent & they're praising modern marriage , not good , 1 divorce every 35 seconds , 90% of divorces are filed by women , 98% of alimony is paid by men , soo many flaws in marriage
I understand gavin how men have wimped out. Divorce law is no joke. Not a single mention here.
I know so many people that their wives took half their crap. Everything that he saying isn't Theory
Only you can make you happy.
that's the only reason i don't want to get married.
Pre nup? Never been married myself so don't know the logistics, that would be my route though.
Kids are smarter than you think. I had two wives die, and my kids didn't think marriage=death.
Stefan Molyneux needs to return to YT. It’s just not the same without his wisdom. His racier stuff later got kooky to me but he was once a very profound libertarian.
The 'divorced'/broke up and now 'singing in the rain' type of happy' myth is close to being a ponzi scheme. I know/met dozens pf people during my adulthood who would, when in public, claim to 'have done the best thing - followup my way and find happiness' type of coffee table preaching while being themselves totally broken, often spending two days every month hiding in their bed, paralized by depression which they themselves blamed on their divorce. I do not say here they were 100% correct in this diagnose: just that their 'public' image was a fraud.
I'm all set guys.
Hello Wigan ! My mother -in-law was born in Wigan in about 1927. She´s dead now. Just saying.
I was born in 74 and my parents got divorced before I was a year old. I remember in first grade our teacher ask the kids how many parents were divorced and in a class of 30 I was the only 1. by the time I was in 8th grade half the class parents were divorced. I was also 1 of the rare few who was raised by their father and not their mother. I always wanted to know what it was like to have married parents. my step parents on both sides were total jerks.
Gavin and Stefan: You can be friends with your ex but still NOT want to live with them! Sometimes relationships end.You move on. You can still love parts of an ex and enjoy each others company,but still NOT have to live together.
Keoki true...there are different dimensions the dude might be gay ...or they just simply click on a friendship level. Maybe they aren't really that attracted to each other. Etc. But I would find it awkward to date someone who still has a bottle of wine and chats with his ex...
Stef slightly triggered by Gav lol
Franklin Love ! Lol
I love these two and their POV.... its very true -the story Stefan said about when you're married to someone..and how we're constantly changing as we grow so its like dating different people - i know my husband dates a different chic every night with my "bi polar" ass 😂
Exactly! People grow and change overtime. There's always something new, but If you really feel bored then you can just role play or something xD That's better than starting over with a different person. That would be like dying half way through a game then having to start right at the beginning again. SCREW THAT
Family court system?
My ex and i get along like best friends, but she cheated for a year on me and our son's and shacked up with the dude..her new dude is a jackass ( he also cheated on his wife of 20 years and left his two teenage boys...her and i were together for 16 1/2 yrs and have two boys that she got custody of, she is a selfish human that fucked up all of our lives....I did not do anything wrong and we could have worked out her issues, but she and her new man try to play Family now with my sons....some people are scum with no real Family Values anymore...I lost everything and had to move into an 8 x 10 room...btw, she gained 40 pds and has a gunt now, I am still hot...lol.
Islam is worst but.... many wifes sounds good.
I WOULD get married if I met someone who I could spend more than two weeks with...who was also single and attracted to me too(ugly cunt that I am...)
enforced monogamy and the (de)sexual fascist hyper-patriarchy
My divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Did you have to give away half your net worth, or more than half?
Why would Stefan be for legal marriage when he's back anarchist?
WWII generation damaged baby boomers. The greatest generation came back shellshocked.
Divorce is fine if you don't have kids. But if you're married with kids, and then you get a divorce, you're a piece of shit 99% of the time with the rare exception of horrible abuse.
It's so sad how parents will so quickly choose to mentally damage their own children by getting a divorce.
I like Gavin on most of his stances, but he'll never convince me on marriage.
Del Common it’s a public proclamation of the promise to stay together “for better or worse”. It makes it harder both through bureaucratic hoops of government and socially through friends and family but also the wider stigma of being divorced.
It suggests you don’t think important decisions through and have commitment issues and it gives people cues on what kind of person you are. Taking away that stigmatisation is a sign of moral degradation. As we know, children who grow up with their mummy and daddy are statistically happier and turn out more well adjusted and less neurotic. Some people are happy with divorced parents and some unhappy with married parents but on average it’s not close. Divorce should mean something really statistically happened like violence or having a child with another person. De stigmatising divorce and under valuing marriage is not good for society and in 90% of cases the family. The family being the backbone of western civilisation has caused the collapse and Donald Trump being in the Whitehouse. It’s what built western civilisation and tearing it down to help a few cases is bad policy. We don’t know the long term consequences and so far, it ain’t looking good. Also, children with a non biological father are 30 times more likely to be abused in some form.
naw, ill do what I've always been doing since I was 21, which is dicking down married woman who desperate for guy who isn't their putz husband
My parents divorced in the late70's, I wasn't living their life. I met my husband when we where 16 and we've been married for 33 years and raised 4 kids, and now have our first of many grandchildren has arrived. I have seen my husband change from a teenager to a grandpa. Life is a roller coaster ride, hand on tight (to each other). Now it's the next chapter, "life after kids move out ", time for us, travel, whatever we want to do. We still have like 50 years to have a good time.
That's so inspiring. Great for you! It's so easy to lose hope in the whole concept of marriage when you see so many fail, but marriages do work if you put in the work. :)
Howard J Cartmell dude, it's not that I'm denying what you said, it's that today marriage is an extremely harsh deal for men when you take into account to women who we have to choose from and the laws which give wives substantially more rights than husbands.
wont this help with over population
Sex is 5 minutes? No wonder the negativity.
Thanks Jews!