Acting for awareness isn't the worst idea, but there's gotta be some kind of transparency that it's acting to demonstrate what one of those situations may look like. If the tiktok creator had been like "this video is scripted to demonstrate some red flags on dates you may notice" and encouraged people to be careful with people who demonstrate the behaviors, I could probably get behind it. However, currently, I really think this was a horrible way of handling the topic.
As someone on autism spectrum who studies patterns real hard to be safe in social situations I agree soooo much that showcasing things like this is very helpful. But it should be signed as staged!
The creator made a follow up tiktok upset that people were worried for her and asking for an update. She was mad that people suggested that she should explicitly state that it was a skit. Edit: she deleted the update video, probably because she was going back and forth with a lot of people
@@TearLilyd she said it was scripted but that she’s not obligated to state in the caption that’s it’s scripted. And I believe she was upset and defensive with people being worried because it goes back to her not stating it was scripted.
She should have CLEARLY stated that it was scripted. Like right at the beginning 🙄 and because she DIDN'T do that, this vid feels like a ploy for clout or going viral
Yeah I saw this video on Facebook and I had no idea if it was real. Since Facebook is almost all older people, nobody on there even questioned its authenticity. Skits like these should be disclosed as scripted or not.
@@basharalbutseggs8056 LOL fair enough. I should have mentioned it was on the It’s Gone Viral page and at the end of the video where the girl talks about the video for a few seconds, she was acting as if it was real. That’s why I was confused about its authenticity lmao.
Remember back in like 2015/2016 when there was that video of a drunk girl being harassed by random guys on the street? People thought it was genuine, and it was spread as genuine. Then it turned out the girl was an actress, and it was a skit to "raise awareness". Except they lied that it was real, and the guys had horrible things spoken about them because it didn't say anywhere that they were acting. The creator tried to use the excuse of raising awareness and didn't seem to understand why people were upset. If I recall correctly, the actress was also unaware they were passing it off as real and was upset about it.
@@hellokitty-jy5vc why dont people use their brains anymore? What's the point of being able to think if you dont use that skill to the fullest of your ability of thought? Life is beautiful because existance serves no point, it's a blank canvas and we are free to give our life meaning with the things we do
I had almost the same thing happen to me over 5 years ago. First date after my divorce. Dude was controlling to that level for the first time meeting. I started getting a bad feeling when he mentioned having to go to court. It was ‘nothing to worry about’. I went to the bathroom and just googled his name. He was out on bail for r**e charges. I paid for my stuff and left. He proceeded to blow my phone up to the point I had to turn my phone off. Blocking didn’t help. I had to threaten to threaten to get the law involved.
@@Theoldenmage I am! After that debacle, any potential suitors got a full look up. I have also come to realize the dating pool around me has pee in it. A lot of it.. between multiple dui’s, drug charges, domestic, kidnapping, and multiple r charges, I am perfectly fine to stay single. Deleted all forms of social media other than RUclips and have been building my life. My marriage was 7 years of mental and physical abuse. Therapy taught me what to look out for and I have been using that knowledge to steer clear of sooo many “men”.
I think stating explicitly that it's scripted makes it even more valuable as an education/awareness resource. If she gives off the impression that she's filming the date in secret, it gives men just another reason to shit on women as in "This guy did nothing wrong and the sneaky b-word started filming him during a date!"
This is why deductive reasoning and context clues are a thing , either she wasn't smart enough to stage a good video or she just wanted clout, you wouldn't see me trying to fix a plane because I don't know how but there's a word for people that think they are good at everything when in reality they're only good at making themselves look good , people that do acts of kindness from the heart will never record it themselves but have faith that because of the gender second was assigned at birth that they're automatically perfect , btw first step to solving a problem is admitting there is one in the first place 🙄
If I saw a guy beating on a girl I would hope everyone would think it's bad but you're telling me that you personally believe women don't care about bad things being done to men ?
She should but she’s not a sneaky b if she did do that. Some people are awful and you wouldn’t be able to prove what you’ve been through if you didn’t. You’re a sneaky b if you film and if you don’t didn’t happen. Like. Whatever. But if she had been honest with the viewers things would make more sense.
@@LunaLovegood-ee7ut I didn't actually say that she was a sneaky b-word. I just said it would give people excuses to claim that she was. Which was proven immediately by the other person who responded... People are just looking for excuses to shit on women.
During the first clip I KNEW it was fake. All of the things the guy said were buzz words/ phrases commonly used on twitter as talking points or examples of real situations, but this person used like ALL OF THE BUZZ WORDS at once, in the same interaction. I know guys like this/ similar exist but this is definitely not a real interaction
real situation, fake video. totally agree with you about removing the credibility -- be transparent or discredit real cases of these weird, toxic dates. I've had my fair share of red flag dates, and I don't think it's bad to share awareness of those signs for people who may be less experienced, but faking a date without that transparency behind it is a bit cynical to me
I mean the video you showed about the guy “i bought dinner soooooo” happens so much. I even worried for my safety at one point because a guy went crazy on me. It makes me so sad and scared
None of it sounds real. The guy, the girl and lines they are both saying sound so fake and badly acted I don't know why people would think this is real. Bad situations happen, this isn't one of them clearly. I hate TikTok, and still so glad I never downloaded it✌️✨
God, I downloaded it once and uninstalled it soon after. You can easily notice that the algorithm is designed so you end up brain dead and random content hungry. Real dystopian stuff
Good for you! I had it downloaded for a year or two and it utterly controlled my life. I did learn a lot which I am grateful for but it would get difficult for me to spend less than a few hours on it a day 😬 I finally got rid of it a few months ago and feel like a weight has been lifted
Really feels like they got the lines from stories they got off reddit or pinterest. Like they just took the stereotype of a Niceguyᵗᵐ and went from there
I’ve been in this situation before- and disturbingly enough both of those videos resonated with me about a single date where a guy attempted both things. I’m not going to bring this up for pity, I’m bringing this up because the skit this girl is doing is making what I went through sound like entertainment. In cases like this, sometimes people will pretend to be on the phone with a person as they walk home or are trying to get away because it makes the guy feel like there is, for lack of better words, a witness that can tattle on them if they go missing. I thought that maybe that’s why she was recording, and so I was so quick to empathize. I thought, “Wow that’s exactly what happened to me back then, I’m so glad she got home okay.” It was only until I found out these recordings were part of some series that I realized what was up. Getting cornered by a man trying to pressure you into letting you into their dorm isn’t entertainment. Having a man who drove you to a restaurant and being your only source of transportation home (if he decides to even let you go home) isn’t fun drama. Having a man mutter something that sounds like it might be the last thing you hear before you disappear or are harmed isn’t a cool way to end a scene. Anyone thinking this is awareness has no idea how terrifying this truly is. There were people who were even asking for a part 2 or for her to give the full story like it’s some juicy drama. Then in a response video, she had the gall to get mad at people for being concerned about her. This isn’t awareness. This is capitalizing on either people’s empathy or the toxic mindset people have where they think that every bad thing is “drama” and they are entitled to being part of it. tl;dr is fuck her and whoever asked for more.
I had a bad date with a guy I knew was probably fatal attraction kind of type of man. I just went along with it for self preservation and fake went to the bathroom before I booked it. Yeah. Some would say it is rude but I had a feeling that the man could harm me so I didn’t take chances.
I agree with you, and I hate when people justify this kind of lies by saying "as long as it helps making people talk about this problem...", because yeah, they're gonna talk about it for sure... about that particular instance which turned out to be staged, and how they think all other cases are staged, too.
I've been on multiple dates like that. That use to be the majority of my dates. But it's slightly different every time. Sometimes normalized sl*t shaming, sometimes pressuring fir intimacy when I'm not ready using "I paid for dinner" as an excuse or using gifts or "I was nice to you" or "but you did it with so and so, why not me?" 2 times I was r*ped on a date, sometimes things go well at first but then he crosses a s*xual boundary that I didn't consent to etc. I've had a few experiences that were almost identical, but they were years apart. This doesn't seem real and I don't agree with faking it because all of my teen and adult life people gave claimed that I'm lying and exaggerating, so faking it for clout is a dangerous game that makes us all look bad.
As someone who works with victims It usually takes about three months from what I’ve seen my own experience that I’m stating this for someone to start acting this way in a relationship manner or in ways that are controlling. Of course there’s outliers and of course happens of first date and everything but if you were dating someone I always say keep your eyes peeled for at least three months, sometimes even more if they’re really really good at hiding it. Not that it’s ever on us to catch it it their own behaviors but after a few months the mask comes down
I think skits are detrimental unless explicitly specified that its a skit. Id imagine that a lot less people are watching them and taking a lesson out of it as opposed to people who take it as evidence that shit like this doesn't happen. Most people are just looking to gather evidence on their side rather than really think about what's going on. Edit, had further thoughts: When its explicitly stated to be a skit I think people have the question of why a person would make this skit or what is it trying to tell me, maybe people tend to try to take a message out of media more than real events, at least I can acknowledge that I do.
My boyfriend and I were just watching this the other day! I can’t believe there’s an identical video to this from November, that definitely makes me suspicious that it isn’t real…
I had a male friend who spoke like that..the tone, inflection, voice and even the controlling Ill decide what you'll eat thing. He would order for me when we went out but back then I didnt recognize that it was controlling. To be honest Ive never known a man who wasnt controlling.
He sounds like a psychopath tbh (if youve ever watched crime docs). Or maybe a narcissist. Thankfully all the guys I know are nothing like this. You have to find the right people to surround yourself with. This guy sounds like he worships Andrew Tate next to God lmao
I know how you feel, I can count maybe 1 - 2 straight men i've met in my entire life who've never said or done anything misogynistic around me. Generally the only men I know who don't do anything are lgbt.
I saw the og tiktok on my feed several days ago. After watching it, i thought it was obviously fake, assuming she was trying to get views with scripted conflicts. I also thought people were going to think it was real because it easily reinforced opinions against creepy men into a bite-sized bit. For a second I was also like "what a shitty guy" but quickly realized it was faked.
I’ve been on dates with guys like this, and I can guarantee that he wanted to pay because he assumes that entitles him to sex. Never let a guy pay on the first date, he’ll demand you “owe” him for it.
Sorry but on that note I'm not going to stop letting dudes pay for my food. If he demands sex that doesn't mean he's getting sex. At least I got free food out of it and saw their true colours immediately. If I already know I'm not going to see him again I'm just gonna tell him that, respectfully, I appreciate it but I'm paying for my own because I don't want another date
Her passiveness and playing along was really cringe like you're in a public place, go ahead and make a scene, you are not in danger. So ridiculous that it seems faked. she is being such a pushoverrrrrrrr. if she wants to raise awareness she can go ahead and say "this is how you handle a situation like this" and she can continue to stand up for herself, and show others how to respectfully and politely but with dignity leave the date when he doesn't listen.
It only TRULY brings awareness if it's stated that the video is meant to do so, I think. Like if in the beginning of the video, she said "this video's to spread awareness and get conversations started about blah blah" and openly said if it was scripted or not
Whew, when I started watching my FIRST thought was why is she recording at such a, well perfect time to expose someone. I was hoping others would pick up on this. Yes this happens to people but usually if you were to begin recording it would be during the middle or early beginning of the situation, not before it happened. If it was to open up conversations about the issue, great. Yet based on what you said she has not claimed it to be fake or scripted. (Also if she is a known influencer or tik tok famous her next dates would probably have looked her up, found this video and known to not act in this way.)
It wasn't a date, but I did experience this kind of controlling behavior myself when I was in high school. I went out for dinner with a friend and her dad, whom I knew was abusive because she told me, but she was in a position where she had to spend weekends with him, and she'd asked me to come along that day to keep her company while her dad was at work and then join them for dinner and shopping afterwards. We went to the restaurant and sat down, and it was a restaurant I'd been to before and I knew what I liked. When I picked up the menu and decided on what I wanted, my friend's dad asked if I liked eggplant. I said I didn't hate it but wasn't a huge fan, or something like that. He insisted we get the eggplant spaghetti dish. I was hesitant and wanted to order what I was comfortable with but he continued to insist that that was what he would get for us. I was afraid of creating a conflict so I acquiesced. It was very uncomfortable from then on. After dinner we went to Nordstrom or Macys or something like that to look around, and I was just enjoying kind of window shopping. My friend's father was going to buy her something and said he would buy me something too, which immediately made me so uncomfortable that I had to call my mom and ask her if that was socially acceptable. She said no, absolutely not, do not let him do that, and it took quite a bit of insisting on *my* end to get him to agree not to purchase anything for me. I'm not his daughter, I didn't need anything, and I didn't want anything from him. I know it kind of sounds like he was just trying to be nice and not leave me out, but in the moment it felt very... inappropriate. It wasn't any special occasion and there just really wasn't any reason that I should let him buy me something. I dunno. Understand that I knew some of what he was like behind closed doors because my friend had told me, and add that fear factor. So yeah. People like this definitely exist, and it's scary. We have to be careful. I hope the content wasn't faked, because that would be super shitty.
I feel like I've been on the other end of being the friend you mentioned. My ex adoptive mother was very pushy and would turn around and get very angry and nasty with me if I didn't like what she picked out because she would say I had no sense of fashion or I'd just say okay since that's how'd she act and then if I didn't wear it because I did not want it in the first place but was scared to say anything like that she would then lose her sh*t and throw all my clothes on the ground and say I was ungrateful and such. She has done what you mentioned to my friend before when we went shopping and didn't get me anything but got her all kinds of clothes to make it seem like she was very nice and charitable. I think she had mood issues and definitely something psych. I do also understand the feeling of being with people where like my aunt got another cousin a bunch of swim suits and did not offer to get me anything and I didn't ask and didn't have the money to get anything so was just kind of there and it felt very left out so I don't know. I think there is a middle ground where if it were me with kids (mine and someone elses) I would get something but nothing crazy like a shopping spree.
What was he offering to buy? I wouldn’t call that inappropriate depending on what he was offering, other than that, weird. I’m sorry you were out in that situation
@@Sunflwr the thing with abusive people is that the moment they buy you something or lend you money, they never let it go. I had an ex friend like that. I only borrowed $40 one time and she wouldn't stop bringing it up. I offered to pay her back but she insisted that it was fine, it was a gift. She didn't want her money back out of the goodness of her heart; she just wanted to have something over my head. So when I moved out of our apartment, I left the $40 on her desk so she could NEVER bring it up again if we ever saw each other again.
That’s weird. In my family you don’t leave anyone out. My mom used to take my friends shopping with me all the time when I grew up and today my daughter wanted shoes but hey friend is over so I asked him if he wanted shoes too🤷🏾♀️
@@capt.n.sir.charles6251 talking like a true man who's never been scared for his life when with a man interested in you and you're not...and from your reply, looks like you'd be on the same track as that first guy...let's hope you don't lose your temper on any woman near you EVER...have a nice day, incel
@@dustyyshellz1320 she did admit it. She said it’s her responsibility to make content, and that it was based on an experience from many years ago. She had to say this cuz she was upset people wanted “updates” on whether she was okay or not 😅
I'm not sure if it's a skit, because I've been on dates that went exactly like this. But, from the comments I think a lot of people think the guy in the video is the creator theslappablejerk
This type of videos are currently rampant in gym settings, they are all over exaggerated and not real and claim to be also "for awareness", at first were women but few men have been doing it too by literally provoking reactions while filming in the locker rooms. Now it is the whole dating. Honestly they are making anybody who gets harassed or could be - less believable. These kind of videos that fake or act such situations need to be called out each time so they stop.
While I'm unsure if it's fake or not, I have recorded interactions on my phone the moment things start to get weird or uncomfortable with people. I feel safer knowing that if things get bad, I have proof it happened.
To me it felt like a re-enactment of how stuff can escalate in a bad relationship. From my experience in a toxic relationship, they only showed that side of themselves months later after I’d been sucked in by their initial nice guy act and they gradually got worse so it took me a while to realise. I don’t think they’d be that obvious on the first date, but if this video made one person realise that they’re partner is controlling, then it doesn’t matter that this particular video isn’t 100% true. It’s unfortunately true for someone.
You aren’t understanding the problem. But it then turns it into a scape goat to invalidate and lie on victims of these interactions. So now anyone who tries to actually record it, or speak out on it - they will use this as a reference point as to why that person is ‘lying for clout’
omg that video... - I would be out of that date in the moment he said that he tends to know what women wants... "then why you are on date and not with spouse allready?" eww
I think she just wants tik tok views and attention. This stuff happens but like you said re creating it without saying it’s a skit borders on making false allegation and that behavior is dangerous.
If this was a real date that I was on and a guy started talking about calories, I would let him order whatever then not eat a single bite because, "I'm watching my figure, remember?" WASTE HIS MONEY AND TIME!
The first tik tok gives me a big ick. I would have walked away. No stranger is choosing my food. Second just pay your bill and walk. In all makes the guy look like a creep imo. The concept of filming secret videos ois weird and detrimental
I’m married but watching with my bestie who is dating again after 5 years with a LTP - she has had 11 dates so far and 4 were similar to this, and 2 were very sexually aggressive. 2 did ‘negging’ and 2 were fine but no spark, 1 she’s seeing again, none showed signs of this before the date- both of us agree (based in U.K. dating culture) a decade ago men would NEVER have acted like this so regularly. It’s amazing how in such a short space of time a very unhealthy outlook has been drilled into the heads of so many of them. It’s quite frightening. We are in our 30s and fairly savvy, but for young women it must not be worth the trouble half the time. With regards to the videos - I agree - if scripted, it does illustrate the reality but then it casts aspersions on the real experiences, and we all know people who have had at least 1 minimum.
What's even scarier is when the guy (or whatever) has a bubbly personality and they do this. Makes it seems like everything is all good until everything goes south. It's not always this monotone murdery vibe.
It's detrimental for so many reasons, the first thing that comes to mind is that if something horrendous happens to you ppl will start being like "Well why didn't you film it" more importantly it takes away other peoples credibility by the fact that they are faking these interactions and perpetuating this idea that it doesn't actually happen In Real life ! And yeah it's the same guy voice is exactly the same I initially thought it was the same date until you said they where months apart! It's the same guy his vocal tone matches. I have a really good ear for tonality etc. There is no doubt in my mind it's the same guy it's all staged for views. Disgusting!
omg I had an ex who did this to me on the regular.... butt in and try and order for me. Drove me insane. We only lasted 6 months for a lot of reasons but gotta admit that was definitely one of the most annoying reasons!! this video reminds me so much of that experience... made my eye twitch just hearing that guy speaking😬
Holy shit holy shit holy shit this dude is a big NO THANK YOU. ABSOLUTELY NOT. NOPE. THE "You will not embarrass me" part was IT for me. I was already not enjoying the ride but I would've been OFF. I WOULDVE JUMPED SHIP IDK IF IT'S INTO THE WATERS. IM OUT.
People need to carful what they post on TikTok soon there’s going to be a law one day that you can’t record in public. People record everything and sometimes it’s not necessary. It’s really obnoxious at times. No one will believe people anymore just because of one person!!!!
While this is a serious topic and really does need to have awareness, people really need to disclaim that it is acting. It's fine to have skits about situations like this, but the audience should be aware of this.
Yikes! Talk about controlling! I can't imagine going out with someone who felt it was their right to choose what I ate and drank after I made it clear what I preferred. A guy like this is really creepy.. Whether it's real or scripted, I have no doubt that there are men like that out there and there is value in discussing it.
Not saying this means that it's real, but one thing id like to point out: How do we know the ordering was the moment it went awry? He could very well have said something prior that sent alarm bells ringing and that's why she began recording their exchange
Exactly, especially since when they left the restaurant she said something like yeah that's right, or oh yeah I remember you like to open doors. So agreed that stuff came up before it got to the point of ordering.
Ladies! Stop being so effing polite! Men like this clearly don’t care about going out of their way to make you feel comfortable. Why are we going out of our way to protect their feelings?! People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you, so if you are giggling and being coy while they are being disrespectful, they are going to think they aren’t doing anything wrong. You are doing several people a disservice. Yourself, that man, and the next woman that rejects him because he couldn’t figure out where he went wrong. When he said “I’m going to order for you”. You can politely say “actually, i would prefer you didn’t. I’m an adult, and highly capable of making my own decisions, however, if you have a suggestion based on your experience here, I may be open to your opinion.” He’s either going to re-evaluate his approach, appreciate your confidence, and change his behavior to gain YOUR respect … OR he’s going to get embarrassed and annoyed when he realizes your the kind of woman that isn’t afraid of confrontation and self respect. So he may be a gem that is self teachable …. Or garbage that takes itself out.
I mean I somewhat agree but the reason women tend to be polite to weird perverts is to avoid aggression. Men have literally murdered women for rejecting them.
@@aurora8749 i absolutely agree, but that’s why you meet in a public place like a restaurant. You kinda know if you want to see someone alone after the first date. I should have added not to ever have someone pick you up on a first date unless it’s someone you already know well. I also think women do this because we are raised to be demure people pleasers, and responsible for the comfort of others. When men are self assured and set boundaries they are “assertive “. When women do it we are bitches. It’s a whole social construct. It’s so uncomfortable for us to make someone else uncomfortable, and doing so takes a lot of practice. I’m not shaming women at all, this was me 20 years ago. I was pretending that the huge red flags weren’t there just to avoid awkwardness.
@@aurora8749 exactly this......that is why we spare their feelings because some have egos so fragile they become violent if you dare to have an independent thought.
@@harmdizzle1979 in my area a man beat and then raped a young woman because she was up front with him and people didnt help. some even said she was at fault for not complying. she's dead now. so i guess . no. youre still in the wrong.
@@varbzrepresentative57 are you saying she met up with this man in a restaurant full of people and they just let him assault and kill her, and then they blamed her? For not being nice enough??!! Either you made this story up to be argumentative OR there’s a lot missing. It’s far more dangerous to play along, than to nip it in the bud early on. By the time you start pushing back it’s too late, he already has you insecure and vulnerable, and possibly in separated from your comfort zone. Offenders like easy targets. Displaying self assuredness may actually end a bad date before it begins.
The guy in the video is her husband. She now claims it was a "reenactment" but failed to put that in the description and only said it after someone who knows her posted a video.
As someone who is not a steak person, I’d just tell the waitress what I actually wanted once she got there and just talk over whatever he was about to order me. How does he know she even eats/likes beef? What if he orders her something with ingredients she’s allergic too? They don’t really know each other, so it’s not a stretch to say. Actually, you know what, if he didn’t stop, I would just get up and leave. Lol
Yes, that's what most people would do. This interaction depicted is way over the top, and not nuanced enough. Real life interactions are not like scripts made entirely of stereotypical phrases.
While this is clearly staged, in real life these sort of interactions can get really sour. Guys like that can get aggressive or even violent, or even begin to stalk the other person. While some will more or less accept being shut down, some will just blow up and get ugly.
My main concern is that so many people seem to be unsure or conflicted about the guy in the first vid till quite late in. This guy is immediately sending up red flags that i wouldn't give the benefit of the doubt, real or staged. If it is real then i do worry for the girl as she seems to give into him easily and continued the date despite all of this. Please know that if anyone does this to u, no matter who they are or how well u know them, this is not appropriate behavior and u need to be cautious and if possible avoid them. Especially as a first date, if they're coming right off the bat with this behavior then they're testing u to see how easy u are to manipulate and abuse.
Saw this on Tik Tok and was like okay... that was awkward. I love your medival game character making robotic responses analogy. This is exactly what its like. The speaking does not sound natural. If you want to raise awareness with a skit, fine but make that known instead of doing shit like this for views.
Just about the date video itself: If a guy was acting towards me like that, I wouldn't have gone to the toilet to tiktok about it but I'd have talked up the waitress to cancel our orders and ask her either buy me some time to escape or call the cops right away.... And before anyone comes with that shit: In my country, most policepeople don't shoot outside the range for their whole career and in situations like this, assuming the guy wouldn't wanna let me go even, they would just talk him down until I'm done and once I'm out of sight go "relax buddy, no point in trying to reason with women like this". In Germany, no cop shoots a man just to protect a woman. How do you think we manage to be so feminist on paper? It's just on paper and women who try to speak up about it get framed as nazis and shunned by society. We also have legal prostitution, as in brothels that openly operate, selling access to enslaved and brainwashed women who don't dare even saying no anymore and calls the ensuing rape a valid decision on her part because he pays money that noone bothers to check if she actually gets it or maybe, it's considered just normal that prostitutes have to pay 90% of their income to their landlords? Like, it's really completely obvious, everybody knows and nobody cares because the men want sex and the women believe that with prostitution, men rather rape the prostitutes than the free women - which of course is also entirely wrong. Just gotta mention this over and over again because it annoys me so much to see our country constantly presented as something that we are in reality just being brainwashed to pretend exists. Forgot the actual topic too, trauma is a bitch. Maybe i should watch less stuff like this?
Umm can I walk you to your room? The answer is NO. Plain and simple. If he tries to argue it, take your behind back into the restaurant ask them to call and walk you out to your ride. Was nobody taught the girl code? Teach your daughters and sons boundries. Having your voice is powerful. She started filming when she did because maybe that’s when her alarm bells started going off
I first saw this video and absolutely thought it was real, and felt worried for the person’s well-being. After I checked the follow-ups, though, I began to wonder if it was scripted. This video would have been fine if it had been framed as “Red Flags To Watch Out For on a First Date” or something, but framing it as a real life scenario she went through took away all credibility. It feels manipulative to her audience and anyone who happens to have this video pop up on their FYP.
I thought recording the date was cringe - until he opened his mouth. Then I started feeling that it was for her safety. And for record to verify “was this human for real?”
I think it actually is more important for all the men who legitly think this is good behavior to see this behavior being ridiculed and when people start claiming that nobody in real life could be such an asshole and a guy sees that video, finding nothing weird about the way the male protagonists act, he might actually wake up to how his behavior doesn't achieve what he intends to achieve. On the other hand, we don't need to spread awareness about this happening because everyone knows the stories, most men don't believe those stories because they simply don't want to and most women simply have either been themselves in a situation like this or witnessed one - and so did the guys who claim that noone would ever do this. So, there isn't much to change in terms of awareness here. The only awareness that is worth spreading is that most of society doesn't agree with this sort of behavior anymore. Because believe it or not but not all men who rape women actually want to do that. Some are just really stupid and have been told lots of stupid shit they believe and they don't even understand what they are doing to the women. Sexuality in general had become a massive clusterfuck because everybody asks third parties about what their significant other wants and trusts that over what their so literally tells them. Anything that starts a communication on these subjects, as silly as that conversation may turn out - it's a start
"They simply don't want to" exactly, those kind of men KNOW this stuff is happening, they just say they don't believe it because they're too cowardly to say what they really mean, that they actually think it's ok and acceptable.
I disagree on the rape though, there are far too many cases of men being told no or to stop or being pushed away etc and they just keep trying. I'm literally a lesbian and have had men try to force themselves on me MULTIPLE times while knowing that i'm not even attracted to men. Most women I know have been followed/stalked, harassed online, assaulted, etc and so many of us will tell men to leave us alone and they still do it. Sometimes i'll feel a little bad if i'm trying to not engage with a random dude in public for example if they try talking to me, but at this point I don't like taking the risk of responding to a man greeting me and them taking that as interest and thinking it's ok to start following me or saying sexually explicit things to me.
Btw it is very clearly not the same guy and ive had countless horrible experiences with men and absolutely believe this could happen twice in one year to the same woman.
I think that people came out and said the man in the video was her husband. Also she had a video saying she doesn't have to tell people that it was fake
I had a date just like this but bc I was in my early 20s, I didn't have the courage to stand up for myself so politely ended date after dinner and left. I had no clue the date was scripted til I read comments.
I've just started this and the tik tok started, I literally gagged!! It's kinda scary I thought it was real, wtf. I'm from Glasgow so it'd of been a straight kick in the baws. We have a great thing here where you go to the bar and there's a code that they know to call you a taxi and lead you out the back. I honestly dunno how I feel about this at all, it really is a serious subject
I agree with the comments that say she should have explicitly stated it was a skit type of thing. But holy hell, it's sad that passes for acting. She did pretty good but that dude was stiff as hell and (in my experience at least) guys like that mix in their bullshit with other shit so it's not as obvious. Portraying it as being this easy to spot is just as harmful imo
Oh man, when i was a very young adult i dated an older man that did this. I dated him for two years!! He's still a good friend now that im in my 30's but he still dates barely 20 year olds. Just skeeves me out now that im older. I was groomed so hard growing up to be a good "submissive wife". I always dated older men and even my husband is much older than me. Even that makes me feel some kind of way if i think about it too much.
I agreeing detrimental if fake she could have said she's reenacting if it is otherwise if it's real she's very brave for sharing and opening herself up for contreversy
I have to say that I have no idea how anyone would think these vids were actually real. They're so obviously fake and acted. I get that stuff like this happens irl, but nahh... these vids don't even look or sound remotely real. But I did get a laugh out of them though. Also, is this truly what people mean when they are talking about ''nice guys''?! I always assumed it actually meant ''women disliking nice men'', but nothing about those dudes sounded ''nice''.
Scary abusers don't start that way on date 1. It's gonna be months in minimum. Scary first dates happen. My worst first date was a guy like this but these guys don't usually get far enough to be the Scary abusers.
I noticed it fake 100 percent as soon as he said the thing about the calories. If he really cared about the calories why would he order her the ribeye and mash
Up front, I was super uncomfortable and about to be up in arms about how inappropriate that man behaved. My husband has never ordered for me unless I've asked him to, not even in a romantic scenario, and we've been together for 13 years (married 12). Now, as a skit for awareness, ok, but that should've been super clear and outlined with red flag teachable moments.
Hm this is uncomfortable… if someone wants to raise awareness of controlling behaviour and all the red flags for abusive behaviour, as long as they’re being clear about their intentions great, awareness is needed, however the way this has been done with everyone second guessing what context it’s been created in, no, it does make a mockery of the issues at the forefront. As a survivor of Dv it’s not a joke and having victims come forward is hard enough with the risk of not being believed, I wasn’t believed and now I’m in a wheelchair with two separate spinal cord injuries so for me anyone making this stuff for clicks isn’t ok unless they’re explicitly telling us this is to raise awareness and hopefully save people from becoming victims… thanks for covering this it’s really important stuff 💕
I WAS GOING TO TAG YOU IN THIS I collected a ton of evidence and it's clear it's fake, she has tons of videos like this attempting to gain clout acting for awareness is fine , but the people being worried for her draws the line. there are REAL victims out there and people are wasting energy on someone who's just an actress
Acting for awareness isn't the worst idea, but there's gotta be some kind of transparency that it's acting to demonstrate what one of those situations may look like. If the tiktok creator had been like "this video is scripted to demonstrate some red flags on dates you may notice" and encouraged people to be careful with people who demonstrate the behaviors, I could probably get behind it. However, currently, I really think this was a horrible way of handling the topic.
This 👏
Bumping this up for engagement~
I agree!
As someone on autism spectrum who studies patterns real hard to be safe in social situations I agree soooo much that showcasing things like this is very helpful. But it should be signed as staged!
Had to be satire couldn't believe it. She would have left sooner if real surely
The creator made a follow up tiktok upset that people were worried for her and asking for an update. She was mad that people suggested that she should explicitly state that it was a skit.
Edit: she deleted the update video, probably because she was going back and forth with a lot of people
But she didn't say one way or the other if it was or wasn't real? Or being mad at people thinking it was fake meant it was real?
@@TearLilyd she said it was scripted but that she’s not obligated to state in the caption that’s it’s scripted. And I believe she was upset and defensive with people being worried because it goes back to her not stating it was scripted.
@@_rebecca.woooooow, big yikes. Doubling down was the worst choice she could’ve made here
@@LostSoulchild89 people who lie
She should have CLEARLY stated that it was scripted. Like right at the beginning 🙄 and because she DIDN'T do that, this vid feels like a ploy for clout or going viral
She can viral-ate muh balls
Op:"The sky feels like it looks blue "🙄
Yeah I saw this video on Facebook and I had no idea if it was real. Since Facebook is almost all older people, nobody on there even questioned its authenticity. Skits like these should be disclosed as scripted or not.
Ok I expected to agree with the comments but you guys are slow this is so blatantly scripted. He’s copying Patrick batemans voice
@@basharalbutseggs8056 LOL fair enough. I should have mentioned it was on the It’s Gone Viral page and at the end of the video where the girl talks about the video for a few seconds, she was acting as if it was real. That’s why I was confused about its authenticity lmao.
Remember back in like 2015/2016 when there was that video of a drunk girl being harassed by random guys on the street? People thought it was genuine, and it was spread as genuine. Then it turned out the girl was an actress, and it was a skit to "raise awareness". Except they lied that it was real, and the guys had horrible things spoken about them because it didn't say anywhere that they were acting. The creator tried to use the excuse of raising awareness and didn't seem to understand why people were upset. If I recall correctly, the actress was also unaware they were passing it off as real and was upset about it.
Yes, this obviously staged video made me think immediately of that one.
She also made another video years later talking about how the RUclips video ruined her life
@@hellokitty-jy5vc why dont people use their brains anymore? What's the point of being able to think if you dont use that skill to the fullest of your ability of thought?
Life is beautiful because existance serves no point, it's a blank canvas and we are free to give our life meaning with the things we do
I had almost the same thing happen to me over 5 years ago. First date after my divorce. Dude was controlling to that level for the first time meeting. I started getting a bad feeling when he mentioned having to go to court. It was ‘nothing to worry about’. I went to the bathroom and just googled his name. He was out on bail for r**e charges. I paid for my stuff and left. He proceeded to blow my phone up to the point I had to turn my phone off. Blocking didn’t help. I had to threaten to threaten to get the law involved.
ᴛʜᴀɴᴋs ғᴏʀ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ ʜɪᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛᴇʟᴇɢʀᴀᴍ ☝️☝️🆙 ʏᴏᴜ’ᴠᴇ ᴀ sᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄᴋᴀɢᴇ ☝️☝️☝️💐💐☝️☝️,,,,,….,
Oh holy yikes! 😳 I'm glad you managed to get out ok
oh my god, im so glad you left, you avoided a really bad situation
Talk about missing that bullet, I hope you're doing fine nowadays
@@Theoldenmage I am! After that debacle, any potential suitors got a full look up. I have also come to realize the dating pool around me has pee in it. A lot of it.. between multiple dui’s, drug charges, domestic, kidnapping, and multiple r charges, I am perfectly fine to stay single. Deleted all forms of social media other than RUclips and have been building my life. My marriage was 7 years of mental and physical abuse. Therapy taught me what to look out for and I have been using that knowledge to steer clear of sooo many “men”.
I think stating explicitly that it's scripted makes it even more valuable as an education/awareness resource. If she gives off the impression that she's filming the date in secret, it gives men just another reason to shit on women as in "This guy did nothing wrong and the sneaky b-word started filming him during a date!"
This is why deductive reasoning and context clues are a thing , either she wasn't smart enough to stage a good video or she just wanted clout, you wouldn't see me trying to fix a plane because I don't know how but there's a word for people that think they are good at everything when in reality they're only good at making themselves look good , people that do acts of kindness from the heart will never record it themselves but have faith that because of the gender second was assigned at birth that they're automatically perfect , btw first step to solving a problem is admitting there is one in the first place 🙄
If I saw a guy beating on a girl I would hope everyone would think it's bad but you're telling me that you personally believe women don't care about bad things being done to men ?
@@josepenuelas4440 I said no such thing.
She should but she’s not a sneaky b if she did do that. Some people are awful and you wouldn’t be able to prove what you’ve been through if you didn’t. You’re a sneaky b if you film and if you don’t didn’t happen. Like. Whatever. But if she had been honest with the viewers things would make more sense.
@@LunaLovegood-ee7ut I didn't actually say that she was a sneaky b-word. I just said it would give people excuses to claim that she was. Which was proven immediately by the other person who responded... People are just looking for excuses to shit on women.
During the first clip I KNEW it was fake. All of the things the guy said were buzz words/ phrases commonly used on twitter as talking points or examples of real situations, but this person used like ALL OF THE BUZZ WORDS at once, in the same interaction. I know guys like this/ similar exist but this is definitely not a real interaction
Tbh I have encountered men like this who will use the buzzwords at once - not on a date, but in other situations
real situation, fake video. totally agree with you about removing the credibility -- be transparent or discredit real cases of these weird, toxic dates. I've had my fair share of red flag dates, and I don't think it's bad to share awareness of those signs for people who may be less experienced, but faking a date without that transparency behind it is a bit cynical to me
When I first say this Tik Tok, I thought it was fake because the dude sounded like the Tik Tok creator who makes skits about the insecure boyfriend 😂
Lol sounds exactly like him. I can even See his face saying these things
When the update tik tok started I was thinking it sounded heavily fake and I’m not surprised I’m right haha
Yeah his voice sounds so robotic, like he's just playing a stereotype part, and not actually feeling that way.
Yup, I thought it was TheSlappableJerk too
THAT’S IT!!! I was thinking it sounded like someone but just could not figure out who, I was so frustrated, thank you 😂
I mean the video you showed about the guy “i bought dinner soooooo” happens so much. I even worried for my safety at one point because a guy went crazy on me. It makes me so sad and scared
That's so gross. They think of women as sex objects or hookers. "I spent $20 on dinner so now you owe me sex." Wtf is wrong with those kinds of dudes?
@@aurora8749 Those guys are not worth our time. Raise the bar, women.
@@nibblesxsips I agree 100% pick good men.
Like just give me the money atp and skip the shifty company and crap food. I'll just get some groceries
@@nibblesxsips thankfully Ive not had that experience personally
None of it sounds real. The guy, the girl and lines they are both saying sound so fake and badly acted I don't know why people would think this is real. Bad situations happen, this isn't one of them clearly. I hate TikTok, and still so glad I never downloaded it✌️✨
also never downloaded tiktok 🥳 and yeah definitely scripted. there are absolutely real situations like this but the dialogue was very clearly fake.
Before there was context I could also tell it was scripted for the reasons you said. The dialogue is not natural and neither is the delivery
God, I downloaded it once and uninstalled it soon after. You can easily notice that the algorithm is designed so you end up brain dead and random content hungry. Real dystopian stuff
Good for you! I had it downloaded for a year or two and it utterly controlled my life. I did learn a lot which I am grateful for but it would get difficult for me to spend less than a few hours on it a day 😬 I finally got rid of it a few months ago and feel like a weight has been lifted
Really feels like they got the lines from stories they got off reddit or pinterest. Like they just took the stereotype of a Niceguyᵗᵐ and went from there
I’ve been in this situation before- and disturbingly enough both of those videos resonated with me about a single date where a guy attempted both things. I’m not going to bring this up for pity, I’m bringing this up because the skit this girl is doing is making what I went through sound like entertainment. In cases like this, sometimes people will pretend to be on the phone with a person as they walk home or are trying to get away because it makes the guy feel like there is, for lack of better words, a witness that can tattle on them if they go missing. I thought that maybe that’s why she was recording, and so I was so quick to empathize. I thought, “Wow that’s exactly what happened to me back then, I’m so glad she got home okay.” It was only until I found out these recordings were part of some series that I realized what was up.
Getting cornered by a man trying to pressure you into letting you into their dorm isn’t entertainment. Having a man who drove you to a restaurant and being your only source of transportation home (if he decides to even let you go home) isn’t fun drama. Having a man mutter something that sounds like it might be the last thing you hear before you disappear or are harmed isn’t a cool way to end a scene.
Anyone thinking this is awareness has no idea how terrifying this truly is. There were people who were even asking for a part 2 or for her to give the full story like it’s some juicy drama. Then in a response video, she had the gall to get mad at people for being concerned about her.
This isn’t awareness. This is capitalizing on either people’s empathy or the toxic mindset people have where they think that every bad thing is “drama” and they are entitled to being part of it.
tl;dr is fuck her and whoever asked for more.
so much agree
💯 well said
I had a bad date with a guy I knew was probably fatal attraction kind of type of man. I just went along with it for self preservation and fake went to the bathroom before I booked it. Yeah. Some would say it is rude but I had a feeling that the man could harm me so I didn’t take chances.
Better to be rude than in deep 💩
Good on you for getting out of that situation, I'm glad you were able to make it out safely.
I agree with you, and I hate when people justify this kind of lies by saying "as long as it helps making people talk about this problem...", because yeah, they're gonna talk about it for sure... about that particular instance which turned out to be staged, and how they think all other cases are staged, too.
I've been on multiple dates like that. That use to be the majority of my dates. But it's slightly different every time. Sometimes normalized sl*t shaming, sometimes pressuring fir intimacy when I'm not ready using "I paid for dinner" as an excuse or using gifts or "I was nice to you" or "but you did it with so and so, why not me?" 2 times I was r*ped on a date, sometimes things go well at first but then he crosses a s*xual boundary that I didn't consent to etc. I've had a few experiences that were almost identical, but they were years apart. This doesn't seem real and I don't agree with faking it because all of my teen and adult life people gave claimed that I'm lying and exaggerating, so faking it for clout is a dangerous game that makes us all look bad.
As someone who works with victims It usually takes about three months from what I’ve seen my own experience that I’m stating this for someone to start acting this way in a relationship manner or in ways that are controlling. Of course there’s outliers and of course happens of first date and everything but if you were dating someone I always say keep your eyes peeled for at least three months, sometimes even more if they’re really really good at hiding it. Not that it’s ever on us to catch it it their own behaviors but after a few months the mask comes down
I would’ve left. That dude has manosphere, red pilled red flags all over the damn place.
No he's just a creep, us manosphere guys would rather you pay for yourselves, saves us from being taken advantage of.
I think skits are detrimental unless explicitly specified that its a skit. Id imagine that a lot less people are watching them and taking a lesson out of it as opposed to people who take it as evidence that shit like this doesn't happen. Most people are just looking to gather evidence on their side rather than really think about what's going on.
Edit, had further thoughts: When its explicitly stated to be a skit I think people have the question of why a person would make this skit or what is it trying to tell me, maybe people tend to try to take a message out of media more than real events, at least I can acknowledge that I do.
Dude one video in and I'm already like "Girl LEAVE."
My boyfriend and I were just watching this the other day! I can’t believe there’s an identical video to this from November, that definitely makes me suspicious that it isn’t real…
I had a male friend who spoke like that..the tone, inflection, voice and even the controlling Ill decide what you'll eat thing. He would order for me when we went out but back then I didnt recognize that it was controlling. To be honest Ive never known a man who wasnt controlling.
He sounds like a psychopath tbh (if youve ever watched crime docs). Or maybe a narcissist. Thankfully all the guys I know are nothing like this. You have to find the right people to surround yourself with. This guy sounds like he worships Andrew Tate next to God lmao
That's very sad. I hope you find happiness and surround yourself with good people.
I know how you feel, I can count maybe 1 - 2 straight men i've met in my entire life who've never said or done anything misogynistic around me. Generally the only men I know who don't do anything are lgbt.
I saw the og tiktok on my feed several days ago. After watching it, i thought it was obviously fake, assuming she was trying to get views with scripted conflicts. I also thought people were going to think it was real because it easily reinforced opinions against creepy men into a bite-sized bit. For a second I was also like "what a shitty guy" but quickly realized it was faked.
There are guys like this out there, trust.
I’ve been on dates with guys like this, and I can guarantee that he wanted to pay because he assumes that entitles him to sex. Never let a guy pay on the first date, he’ll demand you “owe” him for it.
I like your stupid emoji in your username
Only men that aren't worth our time. A real man won't think you owe him.
You should work on finding better quality men instead of bashing them all and giving poor dating advice.
YUS always split the bill, that's what we guys been saying for all this time. It's a win-win.
Sorry but on that note I'm not going to stop letting dudes pay for my food. If he demands sex that doesn't mean he's getting sex. At least I got free food out of it and saw their true colours immediately. If I already know I'm not going to see him again I'm just gonna tell him that, respectfully, I appreciate it but I'm paying for my own because I don't want another date
Her passiveness and playing along was really cringe like you're in a public place, go ahead and make a scene, you are not in danger. So ridiculous that it seems faked. she is being such a pushoverrrrrrrr. if she wants to raise awareness she can go ahead and say "this is how you handle a situation like this" and she can continue to stand up for herself, and show others how to respectfully and politely but with dignity leave the date when he doesn't listen.
It only TRULY brings awareness if it's stated that the video is meant to do so, I think. Like if in the beginning of the video, she said "this video's to spread awareness and get conversations started about blah blah" and openly said if it was scripted or not
Whew, when I started watching my FIRST thought was why is she recording at such a, well perfect time to expose someone. I was hoping others would pick up on this. Yes this happens to people but usually if you were to begin recording it would be during the middle or early beginning of the situation, not before it happened. If it was to open up conversations about the issue, great. Yet based on what you said she has not claimed it to be fake or scripted. (Also if she is a known influencer or tik tok famous her next dates would probably have looked her up, found this video and known to not act in this way.)
It wasn't a date, but I did experience this kind of controlling behavior myself when I was in high school. I went out for dinner with a friend and her dad, whom I knew was abusive because she told me, but she was in a position where she had to spend weekends with him, and she'd asked me to come along that day to keep her company while her dad was at work and then join them for dinner and shopping afterwards. We went to the restaurant and sat down, and it was a restaurant I'd been to before and I knew what I liked. When I picked up the menu and decided on what I wanted, my friend's dad asked if I liked eggplant. I said I didn't hate it but wasn't a huge fan, or something like that. He insisted we get the eggplant spaghetti dish. I was hesitant and wanted to order what I was comfortable with but he continued to insist that that was what he would get for us. I was afraid of creating a conflict so I acquiesced. It was very uncomfortable from then on. After dinner we went to Nordstrom or Macys or something like that to look around, and I was just enjoying kind of window shopping. My friend's father was going to buy her something and said he would buy me something too, which immediately made me so uncomfortable that I had to call my mom and ask her if that was socially acceptable. She said no, absolutely not, do not let him do that, and it took quite a bit of insisting on *my* end to get him to agree not to purchase anything for me. I'm not his daughter, I didn't need anything, and I didn't want anything from him. I know it kind of sounds like he was just trying to be nice and not leave me out, but in the moment it felt very... inappropriate. It wasn't any special occasion and there just really wasn't any reason that I should let him buy me something. I dunno. Understand that I knew some of what he was like behind closed doors because my friend had told me, and add that fear factor.
So yeah. People like this definitely exist, and it's scary. We have to be careful. I hope the content wasn't faked, because that would be super shitty.
I feel like I've been on the other end of being the friend you mentioned. My ex adoptive mother was very pushy and would turn around and get very angry and nasty with me if I didn't like what she picked out because she would say I had no sense of fashion or I'd just say okay since that's how'd she act and then if I didn't wear it because I did not want it in the first place but was scared to say anything like that she would then lose her sh*t and throw all my clothes on the ground and say I was ungrateful and such. She has done what you mentioned to my friend before when we went shopping and didn't get me anything but got her all kinds of clothes to make it seem like she was very nice and charitable. I think she had mood issues and definitely something psych.
I do also understand the feeling of being with people where like my aunt got another cousin a bunch of swim suits and did not offer to get me anything and I didn't ask and didn't have the money to get anything so was just kind of there and it felt very left out so I don't know. I think there is a middle ground where if it were me with kids (mine and someone elses) I would get something but nothing crazy like a shopping spree.
What was he offering to buy? I wouldn’t call that inappropriate depending on what he was offering, other than that, weird. I’m sorry you were out in that situation
+
@@Sunflwr the thing with abusive people is that the moment they buy you something or lend you money, they never let it go. I had an ex friend like that. I only borrowed $40 one time and she wouldn't stop bringing it up. I offered to pay her back but she insisted that it was fine, it was a gift. She didn't want her money back out of the goodness of her heart; she just wanted to have something over my head. So when I moved out of our apartment, I left the $40 on her desk so she could NEVER bring it up again if we ever saw each other again.
That’s weird. In my family you don’t leave anyone out. My mom used to take my friends shopping with me all the time when I grew up and today my daughter wanted shoes but hey friend is over so I asked him if he wanted shoes too🤷🏾♀️
the first guy creeped me out so bad it triggered me ... and i don't even date, ever ...
"the first guy creeped me out so bad it triggered me ... and i don't even date, ever ..."
I dont think you have had that problem judging by your face.
@@capt.n.sir.charles6251 talking like a true man who's never been scared for his life when with a man interested in you and you're not...and from your reply, looks like you'd be on the same track as that first guy...let's hope you don't lose your temper on any woman near you EVER...have a nice day, incel
I think she just went on a date with Patrick Bateman. . .
🤣
I hope his business card was ivory embossed with Times New Roman font
Impressive. Very nice ... Let’s see Paul Allen’s Date
I originally thought this was gonna be shaming a guy who wasn't a great fit or kinda awkward but after seeing the video I'm entirely on her side.
Right? Having someone do that to me would be infuriating. I wouldn't treat my friends like that. That's annoying 🙄
Ya’ll caught she admitted this was a skit right?
Girl it's not real did you finish the video?
@@edensicking6172 she didn’t admit it but it’s seeming to look like it for sure
@@dustyyshellz1320 she did admit it. She said it’s her responsibility to make content, and that it was based on an experience from many years ago. She had to say this cuz she was upset people wanted “updates” on whether she was okay or not 😅
I'm not sure if it's a skit, because I've been on dates that went exactly like this. But, from the comments I think a lot of people think the guy in the video is the creator theslappablejerk
Lol slappablejerk is the greatest
This type of videos are currently rampant in gym settings, they are all over exaggerated and not real and claim to be also "for awareness", at first were women but few men have been doing it too by literally provoking reactions while filming in the locker rooms. Now it is the whole dating. Honestly they are making anybody who gets harassed or could be - less believable. These kind of videos that fake or act such situations need to be called out each time so they stop.
While I'm unsure if it's fake or not, I have recorded interactions on my phone the moment things start to get weird or uncomfortable with people. I feel safer knowing that if things get bad, I have proof it happened.
To me it felt like a re-enactment of how stuff can escalate in a bad relationship. From my experience in a toxic relationship, they only showed that side of themselves months later after I’d been sucked in by their initial nice guy act and they gradually got worse so it took me a while to realise. I don’t think they’d be that obvious on the first date, but if this video made one person realise that they’re partner is controlling, then it doesn’t matter that this particular video isn’t 100% true. It’s unfortunately true for someone.
ᴛʜᴀɴᴋs ғᴏʀ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ ʜɪᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛᴇʟᴇɢʀᴀᴍ ☝️☝️🆙 ʏᴏᴜ’ᴠᴇ ᴀ sᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄᴋᴀɢᴇ ☝️☝️☝️💐💐☝️☝️,,,,,….,
You aren’t understanding the problem. But it then turns it into a scape goat to invalidate and lie on victims of these interactions. So now anyone who tries to actually record it, or speak out on it - they will use this as a reference point as to why that person is ‘lying for clout’
omg that video... - I would be out of that date in the moment he said that he tends to know what women wants... "then why you are on date and not with spouse allready?" eww
well I don't know, since I was a victim of couple of narcissists and very toxic people...I don't care if it's fake. It could help someone.
People telling me for a long time now "If you are emotional you loose your right." It makes me feel even more shitty. And I refuse to speak. Period.
I think she just wants tik tok views and attention. This stuff happens but like you said re creating it without saying it’s a skit borders on making false allegation and that behavior is dangerous.
If this was a real date that I was on and a guy started talking about calories, I would let him order whatever then not eat a single bite because, "I'm watching my figure, remember?" WASTE HIS MONEY AND TIME!
The first tik tok gives me a big ick. I would have walked away. No stranger is choosing my food. Second just pay your bill and walk. In all makes the guy look like a creep imo. The concept of filming secret videos ois weird and detrimental
I’m married but watching with my bestie who is dating again after 5 years with a LTP - she has had 11 dates so far and 4 were similar to this, and 2 were very sexually aggressive. 2 did ‘negging’ and 2 were fine but no spark, 1 she’s seeing again, none showed signs of this before the date- both of us agree (based in U.K. dating culture) a decade ago men would NEVER have acted like this so regularly. It’s amazing how in such a short space of time a very unhealthy outlook has been drilled into the heads of so many of them. It’s quite frightening. We are in our 30s and fairly savvy, but for young women it must not be worth the trouble half the time.
With regards to the videos - I agree - if scripted, it does illustrate the reality but then it casts aspersions on the real experiences, and we all know people who have had at least 1 minimum.
What's even scarier is when the guy (or whatever) has a bubbly personality and they do this. Makes it seems like everything is all good until everything goes south. It's not always this monotone murdery vibe.
Omg this one made me so mad. Can't wait for your take
It's detrimental for so many reasons, the first thing that comes to mind is that if something horrendous happens to you ppl will start being like "Well why didn't you film it" more importantly it takes away other peoples credibility by the fact that they are faking these interactions and perpetuating this idea that it doesn't actually happen In Real life ! And yeah it's the same guy voice is exactly the same I initially thought it was the same date until you said they where months apart! It's the same guy his vocal tone matches. I have a really good ear for tonality etc. There is no doubt in my mind it's the same guy it's all staged for views. Disgusting!
💯
omg I had an ex who did this to me on the regular.... butt in and try and order for me. Drove me insane. We only lasted 6 months for a lot of reasons but gotta admit that was definitely one of the most annoying reasons!! this video reminds me so much of that experience... made my eye twitch just hearing that guy speaking😬
and it may be scripted and fake but this legitimately happened to me! watch out for dudes like this ladies.
Holy shit holy shit holy shit this dude is a big NO THANK YOU. ABSOLUTELY NOT. NOPE. THE "You will not embarrass me" part was IT for me. I was already not enjoying the ride but I would've been OFF. I WOULDVE JUMPED SHIP IDK IF IT'S INTO THE WATERS. IM OUT.
That interaction pissed me off to the core
Ribeye with mash potatoes but watch your calories lol
The calorie comment with the wine was WTF...
Lol you mean my entire early 20s could have gone viral, lmao
when you upload my day gets better !
Listening to him gave me a panic attack almost instantly
People need to carful what they post on TikTok soon there’s going to be a law one day that you can’t record in public. People record everything and sometimes it’s not necessary. It’s really obnoxious at times. No one will believe people anymore just because of one person!!!!
While this is a serious topic and really does need to have awareness, people really need to disclaim that it is acting. It's fine to have skits about situations like this, but the audience should be aware of this.
Yikes! Talk about controlling! I can't imagine going out with someone who felt it was their right to choose what I ate and drank after I made it clear what I preferred. A guy like this is really creepy.. Whether it's real or scripted, I have no doubt that there are men like that out there and there is value in discussing it.
Not saying this means that it's real, but one thing id like to point out: How do we know the ordering was the moment it went awry? He could very well have said something prior that sent alarm bells ringing and that's why she began recording their exchange
Exactly, especially since when they left the restaurant she said something like yeah that's right, or oh yeah I remember you like to open doors. So agreed that stuff came up before it got to the point of ordering.
I thought the same thing. But regardless of that, the interaction in this case is clearly fake and badly acted by both parties.
Ladies! Stop being so effing polite! Men like this clearly don’t care about going out of their way to make you feel comfortable. Why are we going out of our way to protect their feelings?! People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you, so if you are giggling and being coy while they are being disrespectful, they are going to think they aren’t doing anything wrong. You are doing several people a disservice. Yourself, that man, and the next woman that rejects him because he couldn’t figure out where he went wrong.
When he said “I’m going to order for you”. You can politely say “actually, i would prefer you didn’t. I’m an adult, and highly capable of making my own decisions, however, if you have a suggestion based on your experience here, I may be open to your opinion.”
He’s either going to re-evaluate his approach, appreciate your confidence, and change his behavior to gain YOUR respect … OR he’s going to get embarrassed and annoyed when he realizes your the kind of woman that isn’t afraid of confrontation and self respect.
So he may be a gem that is self teachable …. Or garbage that takes itself out.
I mean I somewhat agree but the reason women tend to be polite to weird perverts is to avoid aggression. Men have literally murdered women for rejecting them.
@@aurora8749 i absolutely agree, but that’s why you meet in a public place like a restaurant. You kinda know if you want to see someone alone after the first date. I should have added not to ever have someone pick you up on a first date unless it’s someone you already know well.
I also think women do this because we are raised to be demure people pleasers, and responsible for the comfort of others. When men are self assured and set boundaries they are “assertive “. When women do it we are bitches. It’s a whole social construct. It’s so uncomfortable for us to make someone else uncomfortable, and doing so takes a lot of practice. I’m not shaming women at all, this was me 20 years ago. I was pretending that the huge red flags weren’t there just to avoid awkwardness.
@@aurora8749 exactly this......that is why we spare their feelings because some have egos so fragile they become violent if you dare to have an independent thought.
@@harmdizzle1979 in my area a man beat and then raped a young woman because she was up front with him and people didnt help. some even said she was at fault for not complying. she's dead now. so i guess . no. youre still in the wrong.
@@varbzrepresentative57 are you saying she met up with this man in a restaurant full of people and they just let him assault and kill her, and then they blamed her? For not being nice enough??!! Either you made this story up to be argumentative OR there’s a lot missing.
It’s far more dangerous to play along, than to nip it in the bud early on. By the time you start pushing back it’s too late, he already has you insecure and vulnerable, and possibly in separated from your comfort zone. Offenders like easy targets. Displaying self assuredness may actually end a bad date before it begins.
The guy in the video is her husband.
She now claims it was a "reenactment" but failed to put that in the description and only said it after someone who knows her posted a video.
As someone who is not a steak person, I’d just tell the waitress what I actually wanted once she got there and just talk over whatever he was about to order me. How does he know she even eats/likes beef? What if he orders her something with ingredients she’s allergic too? They don’t really know each other, so it’s not a stretch to say.
Actually, you know what, if he didn’t stop, I would just get up and leave. Lol
Yes, that's what most people would do. This interaction depicted is way over the top, and not nuanced enough. Real life interactions are not like scripts made entirely of stereotypical phrases.
While this is clearly staged, in real life these sort of interactions can get really sour. Guys like that can get aggressive or even violent, or even begin to stalk the other person. While some will more or less accept being shut down, some will just blow up and get ugly.
my rule of thumb if its on social media (youtube, facebook, tiktok, twitter etc...) at the very least its embellished or just entirely scripted.
Even though it’s a skit guys like this absolutely exist and are one of the most infuriating misfortunes to encounter in life.
I like the 80s/90s intros everyone is adopting
My main concern is that so many people seem to be unsure or conflicted about the guy in the first vid till quite late in. This guy is immediately sending up red flags that i wouldn't give the benefit of the doubt, real or staged. If it is real then i do worry for the girl as she seems to give into him easily and continued the date despite all of this. Please know that if anyone does this to u, no matter who they are or how well u know them, this is not appropriate behavior and u need to be cautious and if possible avoid them. Especially as a first date, if they're coming right off the bat with this behavior then they're testing u to see how easy u are to manipulate and abuse.
Saw this on Tik Tok and was like okay... that was awkward.
I love your medival game character making robotic responses analogy. This is exactly what its like. The speaking does not sound natural. If you want to raise awareness with a skit, fine but make that known instead of doing shit like this for views.
Hello just wanted to say you are really great at makeup 💞
Just about the date video itself: If a guy was acting towards me like that, I wouldn't have gone to the toilet to tiktok about it but I'd have talked up the waitress to cancel our orders and ask her either buy me some time to escape or call the cops right away.... And before anyone comes with that shit: In my country, most policepeople don't shoot outside the range for their whole career and in situations like this, assuming the guy wouldn't wanna let me go even, they would just talk him down until I'm done and once I'm out of sight go "relax buddy, no point in trying to reason with women like this". In Germany, no cop shoots a man just to protect a woman. How do you think we manage to be so feminist on paper? It's just on paper and women who try to speak up about it get framed as nazis and shunned by society. We also have legal prostitution, as in brothels that openly operate, selling access to enslaved and brainwashed women who don't dare even saying no anymore and calls the ensuing rape a valid decision on her part because he pays money that noone bothers to check if she actually gets it or maybe, it's considered just normal that prostitutes have to pay 90% of their income to their landlords? Like, it's really completely obvious, everybody knows and nobody cares because the men want sex and the women believe that with prostitution, men rather rape the prostitutes than the free women - which of course is also entirely wrong. Just gotta mention this over and over again because it annoys me so much to see our country constantly presented as something that we are in reality just being brainwashed to pretend exists. Forgot the actual topic too, trauma is a bitch. Maybe i should watch less stuff like this?
That was scary tbh >__>
Umm can I walk you to your room? The answer is NO. Plain and simple. If he tries to argue it, take your behind back into the restaurant ask them to call and walk you out to your ride. Was nobody taught the girl code? Teach your daughters and sons boundries. Having your voice is powerful. She started filming when she did because maybe that’s when her alarm bells started going off
I first saw this video and absolutely thought it was real, and felt worried for the person’s well-being. After I checked the follow-ups, though, I began to wonder if it was scripted. This video would have been fine if it had been framed as “Red Flags To Watch Out For on a First Date” or something, but framing it as a real life scenario she went through took away all credibility. It feels manipulative to her audience and anyone who happens to have this video pop up on their FYP.
The way I felt when she was gonna just run makes me think Oscar? But also, did we forget the story of the boy who cried wolf?
I thought recording the date was cringe - until he opened his mouth.
Then I started feeling that it was for her safety. And for record to verify “was this human for real?”
Never did I think I’d see a cosmonaut tweet spark something like this 😂
He sounds like my mother
Some men literally script, pick up artist bs
... I've had encounters like this
100% agree with you! ❤
I think it actually is more important for all the men who legitly think this is good behavior to see this behavior being ridiculed and when people start claiming that nobody in real life could be such an asshole and a guy sees that video, finding nothing weird about the way the male protagonists act, he might actually wake up to how his behavior doesn't achieve what he intends to achieve.
On the other hand, we don't need to spread awareness about this happening because everyone knows the stories, most men don't believe those stories because they simply don't want to and most women simply have either been themselves in a situation like this or witnessed one - and so did the guys who claim that noone would ever do this. So, there isn't much to change in terms of awareness here.
The only awareness that is worth spreading is that most of society doesn't agree with this sort of behavior anymore. Because believe it or not but not all men who rape women actually want to do that. Some are just really stupid and have been told lots of stupid shit they believe and they don't even understand what they are doing to the women. Sexuality in general had become a massive clusterfuck because everybody asks third parties about what their significant other wants and trusts that over what their so literally tells them. Anything that starts a communication on these subjects, as silly as that conversation may turn out - it's a start
"They simply don't want to" exactly, those kind of men KNOW this stuff is happening, they just say they don't believe it because they're too cowardly to say what they really mean, that they actually think it's ok and acceptable.
I disagree on the rape though, there are far too many cases of men being told no or to stop or being pushed away etc and they just keep trying. I'm literally a lesbian and have had men try to force themselves on me MULTIPLE times while knowing that i'm not even attracted to men. Most women I know have been followed/stalked, harassed online, assaulted, etc and so many of us will tell men to leave us alone and they still do it.
Sometimes i'll feel a little bad if i'm trying to not engage with a random dude in public for example if they try talking to me, but at this point I don't like taking the risk of responding to a man greeting me and them taking that as interest and thinking it's ok to start following me or saying sexually explicit things to me.
Btw it is very clearly not the same guy and ive had countless horrible experiences with men and absolutely believe this could happen twice in one year to the same woman.
It's clearly an act from the start.
I’m remember seeing this on TikTok!
I think that people came out and said the man in the video was her husband. Also she had a video saying she doesn't have to tell people that it was fake
That first man came straight outta RUclips. But that guy does well lol. Carry on, ladies
I had a date just like this but bc I was in my early 20s, I didn't have the courage to stand up for myself so politely ended date after dinner and left. I had no clue the date was scripted til I read comments.
She looked so disgusted. She wanted to leave but didn’t want to be rude
I've just started this and the tik tok started, I literally gagged!! It's kinda scary I thought it was real, wtf. I'm from Glasgow so it'd of been a straight kick in the baws. We have a great thing here where you go to the bar and there's a code that they know to call you a taxi and lead you out the back. I honestly dunno how I feel about this at all, it really is a serious subject
Maybe this was one of those ARG (Alternate reality games) situation. I don't know but this was clearly fake.
oh boy… tiktok, this oughta be good
I think it could be titled differently to be productive “for awareness”, but as it is- clout goblins bein clout goblins.
I agree with the comments that say she should have explicitly stated it was a skit type of thing. But holy hell, it's sad that passes for acting. She did pretty good but that dude was stiff as hell and (in my experience at least) guys like that mix in their bullshit with other shit so it's not as obvious. Portraying it as being this easy to spot is just as harmful imo
Oh man, when i was a very young adult i dated an older man that did this. I dated him for two years!! He's still a good friend now that im in my 30's but he still dates barely 20 year olds. Just skeeves me out now that im older. I was groomed so hard growing up to be a good "submissive wife". I always dated older men and even my husband is much older than me. Even that makes me feel some kind of way if i think about it too much.
Dude it both videos sounds like Patrick Bateman straight up!
I agreeing detrimental if fake she could have said she's reenacting if it is otherwise if it's real she's very brave for sharing and opening herself up for contreversy
I have to say that I have no idea how anyone would think these vids were actually real. They're so obviously fake and acted. I get that stuff like this happens irl, but nahh... these vids don't even look or sound remotely real. But I did get a laugh out of them though.
Also, is this truly what people mean when they are talking about ''nice guys''?! I always assumed it actually meant ''women disliking nice men'', but nothing about those dudes sounded ''nice''.
ᴛʜᴀɴᴋs ғᴏʀ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ ʜɪᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛᴇʟᴇɢʀᴀᴍ ☝️☝️🆙 ʏᴏᴜ’ᴠᴇ ᴀ sᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄᴋᴀɢᴇ ☝️☝️☝️💐💐☝️☝️,,,,,….,
Scary abusers don't start that way on date 1. It's gonna be months in minimum. Scary first dates happen. My worst first date was a guy like this but these guys don't usually get far enough to be the Scary abusers.
I noticed it fake 100 percent as soon as he said the thing about the calories. If he really cared about the calories why would he order her the ribeye and mash
ᴛʜᴀɴᴋs ғᴏʀ ғᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ ʜɪᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛᴇʟᴇɢʀᴀᴍ ☝️☝️🆙 ʏᴏᴜ’ᴠᴇ ᴀ sᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄᴋᴀɢᴇ ☝️☝️☝️💐💐☝️☝️,,,,,….,
How do you know there wasn’t a red flag that caused her to start filming? I wish I filmed my dates that made me feel unsafe
Up front, I was super uncomfortable and about to be up in arms about how inappropriate that man behaved. My husband has never ordered for me unless I've asked him to, not even in a romantic scenario, and we've been together for 13 years (married 12). Now, as a skit for awareness, ok, but that should've been super clear and outlined with red flag teachable moments.
Hm this is uncomfortable… if someone wants to raise awareness of controlling behaviour and all the red flags for abusive behaviour, as long as they’re being clear about their intentions great, awareness is needed, however the way this has been done with everyone second guessing what context it’s been created in, no, it does make a mockery of the issues at the forefront. As a survivor of Dv it’s not a joke and having victims come forward is hard enough with the risk of not being believed, I wasn’t believed and now I’m in a wheelchair with two separate spinal cord injuries so for me anyone making this stuff for clicks isn’t ok unless they’re explicitly telling us this is to raise awareness and hopefully save people from becoming victims… thanks for covering this it’s really important stuff 💕
These situations do happen I had a guy who acted the same and I was Not having it and bounced out. Yikes
I WAS GOING TO TAG YOU IN THIS
I collected a ton of evidence and it's clear it's fake, she has tons of videos like this attempting to gain clout
acting for awareness is fine , but the people being worried for her draws the line. there are REAL victims out there and people are wasting energy on someone who's just an actress