USA vs ITALY: How Society Is Different
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- Опубликовано: 5 авг 2024
- The way communities form in Italy and in the US is different and it impacts the culture of the two countries. Italy is more static and traditional, but more balanced, the US are more dynamic and modern, but this model brings to unbalance and polarization.
𝘾𝙊𝙍𝙎𝙊 𝘿𝙄 𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙉𝙐𝙉𝘾𝙄𝘼 𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙇𝙀𝙎𝙀 𝙋𝙀𝙍 𝙄𝙏𝘼𝙇𝙄𝘼𝙉𝙄
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What about your country? Is it more similar to the US or to Italy in this aspect? 👇
No sé
Italy🤩
Somewhere in between... I think. My heart beats for the colors of Europe. It must be Italy, lucky me. :)
In Croatia, it is similar to Italy. All life revolves around family, narrower and wider. Just like you say, family is a base where you can always come back if everything in your life fails. If an individual insults his family or brings a stranger into a marriage who refuses to adapt to the family lifestyle, a problem arises. Often a family asks its member to remove that person from family life because it does not fit. All this is not conservatism at all, but a way of life. The basic family from which a person comes is much more tolerant towards his member than towards a stranger who comes from the side by marrying someone from the family. That stranger must fit into that family’s way of life and then be accepted. It can happen, for example, that a daughter brings a husband who is completely opposite to the mentality and way of life of the family from which she came. This is considered extremely rude and the family will object to it. Of course, they will be against that marriage, and if the daughter or son insists on it, there will be very big problems. Suicides often occur, especially in male children, because they remain in the gap between their basic family and the person they choose to marry. In our country, and I mean in the Mediterranean in general, where people are temperamental, it is very rare for an individual to go his own way and leave his basic family. Anyone who understands psychology and chess knows that the “draw” (p a t) position is much worse than the good or bad position. Of course there are always “black sheep” in the family, but the family supports them as long as they respect and participate in the way and style of life of the family. Recently, there have been more and more divorces in our country, not only because the "foreigner" who comes cannot fit in, but also because people sometimes do not pay too much attention to the psyche and personality of another person before marriage. If one looks superficially, only at the appearance and some security that the other person provides, it often causes family breakdown, divorce, or lifelong suffering in an impossible marriage. As for friendships, it is similar to family. A great deal of empathy and compassion is required of a true friend. People who associate with similar interests are often not friends but only acquaintances and find it difficult to gain the trust of another person. People in the Mediterranean are very open, much more open than Americans and people from northern Europe. This is why severe depression occurs when someone you consider a friend fails you after many years. The only thing worse is when you are let down by a close family member.
Wow
Hispanic and Latino Americans are very similar to Italians, especially for what concerns extended family relationships.
Sure, but in Latino America t is much easier to find new friends immediately, outside of old friendships and family.
American Catholics too.
These cultural differences stem from protestantism vs catholicism.
Hispanic AND Latino.. What's the difference ?
Omg I just found you on here, and I’m in love with everything you say!! My family is from Italy and I’m actually studying Italian in university! I was hoping to go to Italy to study this summer, but it is now canceled due to the pandemic. However, when I found you I got so happy because at least I can listen and learn from you!! Please can you make more videos on language and culture in Italia?? Thank you so much for sharing everything! Stay safe, e forza Italia!!❤️🇮🇹
Hi Cody, welcome to the channel! I will make more videos like this one :)
"Confronto" is good for all the reasons you explained, and yes that is not very common in the US, especially in Politics and Religion. I wish it was but as you say most people have a rigid opinion on some subjects. Discussion with different opinions could make a change, as your Cannel may do. Your Beauty gets people interested but your mind keeps them watching, and thinking. You have World knowledge with different types of people, not many people do. Thank you again
Ti ho scoperta da poco, video molto interessante! Ora vado a recuperare tutti gli altri del canale 😍
Benvenuta nel canale! :)
I'm an Italian girl, and I still live with my family. I can confirm the part about friends: I have friends I have known since I was 4, others I met during high school or university. They are few, but good, as they say here in Italy. Then there are the "acquaintances" (I don't know if that's the right term): people with whom I exchange opinions, with whom I occasionally have a coffee, but who do not change my life (despite being pleasant company). I also confirm that, in my small group of good friends, everyone can have common interests (for example, we are all a bit "nerds", but with different visions of life and politics - right, left, neutrals, Christian Democrats, pro Savoy , for us it has always been important to discuss. Being friends means accepting different points of view, and even if they do not accept each other, it is nice to share them and discuss them together)
I subscribed to the pronunciation course, yay! I really need it!
Grandeee!!!
English can be a very difficult language for foreigners to pronounce correctly. There are many different ways to pronounce the vowel 'a' and a learner will have to learn them all individually.
The words 'bough','dough' and 'tough' are all pronounced very differently.
However in English we only have one way of saying 'the' not 7 in Italian. Also we say 'you' whether we are talking to our mother, a complete stranger,or more than one person.
@@StephanieG1 The course is really good, I am almost at the end! There are a lot of mistakes that Italians do that I would have never imagined by myself.
In this historical moment, this video is a GREAT help for young people. We NEED to know different cultures and peoples, other societies and other food...we need to enrich our knowledge and share different points of view and ways of being, because now simply we CAN'T DO anything similar as well.
So THANK YOU Mary Jane! Keep up the great work on the channel!
Un caloroso saluto dal Veneto! :)
Ciao Marco! Mi manca il Veneto!!
@@WhatashameMaryJane Grandi regioni il Veneto e il Friuli 😉
Ti ho scoperto da poco tempo e mi piacciono i tuoi video, sia per i contenuti, ma anche per queste due principali ragioni :
1) Per un Italiano, il tuo Inglese è molto comprensibile ed educativo.
2) Il tuo look " buca lo schermo " e questo è un raro dono di natura.
How true... You are a jewel!
Hi Mary Jane. I just came across one of your videos late tonight and ended up watching 3 this evening/morning while working out. I haven't explored your page/videos a lot, so sorry if I'm commenting only on what I saw.......but I find everything I've seen extremely interesting. I'm American....3rd generation Italian-American...as they say here.
I like that you seem very respectful, but not fake at all...not a bullshitter, like most people here and now in the USA. I am an attorney...went to New York Law School, but I'm from and live in NJ...close to NYC. I also work in boxing...idk if you can ever somehow tie it in to your content, I doubt it, but if you ever want a free boxing-training session let me know and I will personally handle it in one of my gyms. Keep up the great work. D
Hi, thanks for leaving such a nice comment. I'm very glad you found my videos interesting, hope you will be willing to watch some more. Respect and honesty are some of the core principles of how I've been raised. I've been lucky enough in my life to have always had wonderful teachers and loving parents.
Ho scoperto il canale da poco e lo seguirò con attenzione perché in effetti con i tuoi video mi stai ispirando un paio di idee. Sono pugliese e vivo in Messico e mi piacerebbe creare una condivisione di esperienze. Complimenti per il tuo canale e per la capacità di metterti a parlare per minuti in una lingua non tua e di argomenti interessanti tra l'altro. E grazie per gli spunti.
Grazie a te Carlo!
Thanks! Please, continue to share thoughts on differences and analogy between our great Countries :)
Thanks for the encouragement! I've been wanting to make these comparison videos for so long!
@@WhatashameMaryJane Nive video Mary Jane. Great video by Mary Jane. You described well the importance of family and home in the life of an Italian or a Mediterranean in general. Still I have to notice that you are not a typical example of an Italian :) You are a very brave person who has decided to follow her dream. Even though you have your family, homeland, mountains in your head, you still had the strength to go to the USA and experience a different way of life. I have to admit how pretty brave and daring it is. I saw your sister get married and live in northern Italy as well. very likely she often visits her parents or they her. If we are going to give an example of the European way of life, then it is closer. Being free and independent, and at the same time being close to family (physically and emotionally). This is what distinguishes Mediterranean people from Americans or people from northern Europe. Of course, I believe that there are places in the USA where people follow a family lifestyle. In our country, it is very rare for someone to go to another part of the world and see their basic family a couple of times in their life. That’s exactly why I know how hard it was for you to go and live in the USA. At the same time, I understand how nice it is for you to discover something new in a new world every day. Congratulations Mary Jane, you are a brave and courageous person.
@@matrix_x_ Wow, thank you. Your words make me feel my life choices are recognized. Here in the US what I did is not seen as anything special. At the same time, in Italy - and here I have to disagree a bit with your comment - my life choices seem a bit crazy and it's certainly not normal to be so independent from your family/social environment. I wish in the future it will be easier for Italians to make more independent choices.
@@WhatashameMaryJane It’s a nice goal, but it’s hard to change the mentality of people that has been building for thousands of years. Yet you are right when you say that people in the south of Italy are even more attached to family and homeland than those in the north. It is similar in Croatia. Germans and Scandinavians are perceived by Europeans as larger individuals who can more easily endure separation from family and homeland. When I said congratulations on your courage and bravery, I meant more of you on the inside than on the environment. I know how hard it is when you think about your homeland and family every day, and still manage to stay on your chosen path tens of thousands of miles away.
Sono un italiano all'estero, ti' ho scoperto per caso!!sei molto solare e positiva, i tuoi video mi' scaldano il cuore:)!!brava e auguri,fiero di avere una connazionale come tè in giro per il mondo!!
Grazie Pier Vincenzo!!
I think you're very right about the differences between Italy and the USA, especially with respect to friendships. I've also noticed the same things about friendships you described in Italy, in northern Europe, as well.... in fact, the differences (e.g. having close friends mainly based on who you went to elementary and high school with, as opposed to forming friendships later on via common interests) is even MORE pronounced in countries of northern Europe - like the Netherlands, Germany, Scandinavian countries etc. than in either Italy or the USA. I find adults in the northern European countries (except maybe for the UK) to be very insular, very close to their old friend groups from school, and much harder to make friends with. This doesn't mean they aren't nice and polite to you, just that their old school groups are so tight that they always give top priority to them, and are always "booked solid" attending to these old friendships. On the other hand, southern Europeans are (generally) easier to make friends with and it's easier to coax them away from their old school networks.
Very well observed Joseph. As for my experience, I must say that I find the North of Italy much more similar to the Norther European countries than to the South of Italy. For us is just normal to not consider new acquaintances as new Friends, for as pleasant as they can be. We don't even think about it, it's really engraved in how we behave socially. Which in my opinion is a big pity. I wish we could become more open, while still maintaining that precious relationship that we have with our old friends.
@@WhatashameMaryJane Yes. As a materialist I'm always looking for an economic cause for things, and I attribute much of this to the fact that the countries of northern Europe (and northern Italy, to a degree) have people who are very economically secure, across generations. They are used to doing less moving around, and less economic "entrepreneurializing" of themselves to find economic security. They are very solidly embedded in their communities, have secure sources of income, either through good jobs, pensions, or some kind of subsidy from the state. Their lives are very stable, comparatively speaking. If they become unemployed there is a very good social safety net (at least in northern European countries) which supports them.
Continued... This leads to families that don't move around much, as you said they tend to stay in one place across generations. The US society is more chaotic, fast-moving, and people are used to relocating a lot to find good jobs. To some extent this is also true of southern and eastern Europe (and people from Asia and Africa), where people have traditionally moved away from home or to a new country. Look at how many Italians, Poles, Indians, Africans, etc. there are in the UK, for instance, or in NYC.
Yes and no. My experience with us Scandis, particularly us young people, is we move around so much that we often don't have much contact with many of our childhood friends, or in some cases even high school friends. But it is true that we do tend to make our friends through work and school, and yes, we definitely have tightly knit groups of friends! So it can be hard to make friends even for us Scandis, and loneliness is an issue here.
@@safe-keeper1042 Wait you say first that you don't have much contact with childhood friends, but then you claim that you do have a tight knit group of friends from school. There's something I'm misunderstanding here...
I’m not an American but I started living in Italy since 2020 Autumn.
*everyone in North complain North is Snob and Not Friendly
*everyone Dreaming South, but Complain no Jobs in South
*less people speak English than I expect (they might know French and German)
*Family is too Important... even they fight after 1 day
*Youth in Italy a bit UnEducated. Mostly Olders in Museums or Art Galleries
(not sure there will be a new Gucci a new Giocometti or a new Fellini soon here)
*people often ask me “Do you like Italy?” they dont like i think.
As an Italian I agree with you in everything; even if with regard to the last topic, politics and friends, in my opinion the political aspect does not count at all in the group of friends you hang out with, at least in my life experience; I have seen that political affiliation is the last thing we look at to choose friends and for sure I have never seen friends break or avoid friendships for different political ideas or because different parties are supported, friendships end for more contingent and personal reasons in case; moreover, in Italy in general there are no different meeting places for different political supporters: there are different places depending, if anything, on musical tastes, style of clothing and perhaps age
Bellissimo video!!
Grazie!
Oh god......great topics (one reason I love this channel so much)......where do I begin? I could go on for hours. Don't think the comment section can handle it. I'll try to keep it short. First just a statement....In my 67 years of life experience I see American.....indeed modern society in general.....as progressing ....but at the same time grow more dysfunctional......more connected yet more disconnected.
Now the Republican verse Democrat/people with different viewpoints thing. Most of my neighbors are Republican. I've voted both but mostly Democrat. I'm pretty passionate about history and what it can teach if we give it a chance. So I'm damn passionate about politics. Even sometimes bordering on militant at times. Have been in the past. I struggled often during this election whether or not to have anything to do with my Republican neighbors at all.....ever again. But here's the thing for me.......we have BBQ's together.....sit out at night drinking a couple by campfire's together......go to bars and get stupid and sideways......stumble home laughing at each other's idiocy together.......help each other with home maintenance/remodeling and construction( though sometimes it may look more like destruction🤣😏😛). We may not agree or even like all each other believes or how each other thinks. But I love them. Life is way too short. It's stupid to squabble over things so important and yet viewed in a certain light at the same time meaningless. We are all important.....but we are also very very small when it comes to things which..... while we have a voice and say about .....are so far out of our control and much larger than ourselves in the grand scheme of what is and what will be it's ridiculous. Much can seem black and white at times. But in reality there's a whole spectrum of aspect's and colors in between. All of which are worth at least a little consideration and contemplation.
No.....I for one will not sacrifice my humanity....as fallible as it too often is and treat my neighbors and fellow humans any less than I would like to be treated......with respect, understanding and compassion. If you....or any want or need my reasoning behind any of this........ I'm open to any further discourse/discussion. So much for keeping it short🤣🤣🤣.....sorry. Stay safe and healthy all.
I'm so happy to read this written by an American!!!!!
Allow me to quote my favorite part of your comment:
"Much can seem black and white at times. But in reality there's a whole spectrum of aspect's and colors in between. All of which are worth at least a little consideration and contemplation."
Words to keep constantly in our mind while living in society.
Hello I'm an Italian too, I think you are absolutely right but I've notice in the last 20 years things changed a little and friendship based on hobby and passion became more common than before. I think is tied a lot to the quantity of possible activity you can found around your city and the personal tendency about having hobbys other than your duty
Just take how many people practice group sports or hang hout in theater school or in "nerds activity place" (I'm one of them XD)
Hi guys, hi Mary Jane I'm Enrico, I live in Salerno, Italy (near the Amalfi Coast). I want to share my experience. I'm very agree whith you Mary about the italian friendships I attended the university and I attended some courses of dance because I like it. In the university's environment I met more people but only 3 are my friends now and we don't go out together usualy. Sometimes we have a nice conversations, nothing else. In the dance's environment I was unable to make friend, perhaps my fault... My friends are guys that I met when I was 11. I love them because we live in the same neighborhood, so we played the football and ride the bike together. I think I'm lucky because also in this time of covid I can meet they, for example . The downside? We are always among ourselves we are limited because we always talk about the same things. Sometimes I feel like packing and running away. That's why I follow you hahaha
Well, In a broad sense relationships we have with people and things in the west seems to be very casual and temporary, compared to how it is in the east or in Europe. For example divorce, if it's not working out it ends(rather than work at it), if a friendships is not working out it ends( rather than work at it), if a course in school is a bit too hard we drop it(rather than work at it), if the ink in a pen stops working we throw it out (rather than refill the ink and keep using it), if a purse has a tear we throw it out (rather than fix it), if an item in the house falls and cracks we throw it out (rather than try to fix it), we a such a throw away culture. Hopefully, we are not thrown out as a culture because of who we are. Love you video btw, very perceptive.
Wow, in a simple comment you were able to capture so much of the American culture. It goes in my collection of meaningful comments :)
My experience with Americans as a European was that it’s much easier to get in touch with Americans than in Germany. Americans are extremely friendly and interested especially when they notice an accent but that mostly remains superficial and than it’s difficult to form a deeper friendship
That's very much accurate. I may also add that Germany (and the Scandinavian countries) is really the extreme of this attitude (that I happen to enjoy particularly). Italy is right in the middle between the US and Germany. The more South the more similar to the superficial friendliness of the US, the more North the more similar to the only apparent aloofness of the Germans.
I live in NE US and do find the south and mid-west difficult to relate to, a bit "superficial" as you say. My European friends (Italian -from Milan and Dutch) are more similar in they are very direct and sometimes Americans don't know how to react to that so we back away :)
@@Nicole-mr8po I think it’s also because the common behavior of Americans is misunderstood by Europeans, for example,when you go to a restaurant in USA the waitress greets you with „ good evening, how are you, my name is..... and I’ll take care of you tonight „. That sounds very familiar and pleasant to every European and will be overrated by Europeans.If you go to a restaurant in Europe you will never hear anything like that, at most only a good evening.
@@johannesstewens6244Got it. While it is pleasant, over here we know they're trying to be nice b/c they work on tips. Some servers are actually annoying if they are over the top.
@@Nicole-mr8po Don’t get me wrong Nicole,I really like the American way a lot, but it could be misunderstood by Europeans like, I made a new friend in the restaurant 😳
Grazie per un altro fantastico video! Hai in programma di creare corsi per anglofoni che imparano l'italiano?
Perché no, vediamo! Di certo uno o due video qui su RUclips potrei farli.
@@WhatashameMaryJane Sarebbe grandioso! È interessante come la lingua modella il pensiero e le emozioni, mi piacerebbe molto conoscere i tuoi pensieri su come differiscono l'inglese e l'italiano e se ci sono circostanze in cui hai una preferenza o ti senti limitato rispetto all'altro.
I enjoyed your video very much. I would ask if your information about the family house comes from observing Americans from specific states. For example...families in the Midwest verses the southern states or the east coast. Also are your observations made with regard to inter cultural differences. The statistics you can find published unfortunately mainly focus on the perceived central population.
😊I love your videos, they're very helpful for improve my English. I'm going to organize my trip in USA (trip on the road with my family) , please could you realize the video about driving rules in USA (also practice rules for example how to refuel and so on..) thanks in advance and sorry for my English...😖
Great videos. I am dual citizen and these help me immensely.
This is one of my favorite videos you’ve done. Thanks.
I agree that your generalizations are mostly correct. I would add that I do think your perspective it slightly skewed because of living in NYC. Out in the suburbs you would be surprised by how much more similar life is to Italy.
Hi Peter, I appreciate your comment. I was trying to think hard about all those people I've encountered in other states and other cities, because I know that New York has a peculiar situation. I'm glad you still agree with my generalisations.
@@WhatashameMaryJane and since you were patient enough to put up with my first comment I will push the envelope and add a follow up. This one may be a little more painful but we are after the truth and sometimes that causes a little pain. I also think your perspective of Italy is skewed because you’re from the north. My mother’s cousins from a small town south of Cosenza, well their children emigrate north to find work and come back to the home town for special occasions.
@@peterlacerda3398 Yes I know, because of the worst economic conditions, people from the South of Italy emigrate very often, also to the North of Italy. I challenge you to ask them how much they miss their family and their land, I'm sure most of them will answer very much, although they adapt to the new situation. Southeners are the ones that are most attached to their family and land in fact.
@@WhatashameMaryJane well thank you for the challenge but I will chicken out like a little school boy and just ask my mom because my Google translate Italian has got me into trouble before. I know they are very attached to the land. We just saw pictures of their giant eggplant and zucchini a few months back. Do you northerners can your own tomato sauce?
@@peterlacerda3398 Of course, everyone done it if they have a garden.
My experience with the US goes back to the 1986-1995 period. Maybe things are now different. I stayed for three and a half years in Virginia, where I got my Ph.D., then moved to Vancouver for three years, then back to US in Maryland for another two years before returning to Italy. So, no New York, except for two short visits and a lot of airport time. Socializing was pretty much done among fellow students, most often foreigners and faculties of the university. That's another thing you might want to point out in your videos (oh, I haven't watched them all, so maybe you've already talked about this): the light-year difference between the american and the italian academic environments. In Italy there is much more distance (personal and social) between faculties and students, in the US you end up partying together. Obviously (for you and for me, maybe not for others) you don't expect that a professor, with whom you have been partying together the night before, will have his generosity enhanced on the exam the next day! One thing I haven't experienced while living there is the "political separation" you're talking about. Maybe because Virginia Tech is a very liberal place, maybe for other reasons, maybe things have changed over the years. I simply didn't observe it. Cheers Mary Jane !!
Mary Jane, you did a great breakdown. I fully agree that more Americans are pulling away from their families, but I find that one of the major drivers for some is the experience in college. Kids who leave for school across the country or just out of the family home really do not want to return to what seems like a less independent lifestyle. In Italy, would a young adult live in their own home in the same city as their parents?
Hi Chris, yes living with your parents as young adult is very common in Italy. I can speak only about my region here. The generation of my parents and later ones (born in the 50s till 70s) moved out from their parents at the end of their teenage. For younger generations life is more complicated. The 2008 crisis created a huge unemployment problem in the young adults, who are therefore not easily able to detach from their parents (who are usually rich of the pension rates that were determined pre-crisis). So many people in their 20s prefer to remain in the house they grew up in while they look for a stable source of income. This research can last 10+ years with how things are nowadays.
I am interesting to see a video from you about the different provinces or regions... i dont know really how they are called. But i suggest the mentality of the people from Friuli and from Puglia are bit different. Although generalizing is a bit sensitive issue. But i dont know any other country in Europe so diverse like Italy. From Lecce to Bolzano are even the languages not the same!!!
I just discovered your channel
canale interessante e divertente
e tu sei simpatica e bella
cosa si può volere di più?
Complimenti !!!
I'm of Italian descent and I'm thankful for my heritage and my Parents stayed together till they died. It seems people aren't willing to stick it out and work it out. My family was like your family although we are Americans but my Grandparents came from Italy and My Father's Parents came from Greece. My Mother and Father stayed in their house also util they passed and same with my Grandparents. I like it!!
Good video. Very interesting. If things are more static in Italy as you say, would you say that in general it is harder for people to progress if they are less financially well-off? A lot of job opportunities etc are based on having ‘connections’.
The saying that it is ‘who you know’ and not ‘what you know’ that matters most. Is that the case in Italy as well? Based on what you described of Italy I imagine that it is harder for a poorer person in Italy (in comparison to USA) to meet other people with ‘connections’ in order to progress and get a better job or opportunities?
In USA as you mention a lot of people form connections based on common interests. If in Italy there is less emphasis on meeting new friends via common interests then wouldn’t that mean it is harder for a person without the right connections to meet people who do? Maybe this is obvious to everyone but I’m thinking that there would be differences like this between each country.
Italy is famous for being very corrupted in the Western world. It is definitely a country where who you know too often counts more than your talent and abilities, which I don't see it being the case in the US. This has nothing to do with being rich or poor though. On the contrary, I find that in the US if you're born poor you'll most likely remain poor for the rest of your life, and possibly get worse. This is caused by the differences in education and general environment between rich and poor areas. In Italy I don't see all that difference. Especially, in Italy everybody goes to the same school (public school): the kid of a millionaire and the kid of the simple worker, so they come out from there with the same basic set of intellectual tools for reaching the same goals in society. This is my two cents.
I just read your last paragraph. I don't think I fully understand what you try to say there though.
@@WhatashameMaryJane Hi Mary Jane, thanks for answering my question.
My last paragraph is a question about how ‘easy’ it is for a person to be able to meet or surround themselves around another person of influence. This ofcourse depends on the person and their unique circumstance.
You made a very good point about equality where if everyone goes to the a similar school and the standards are high, they have a great opportunity to study courses that help them move into the type of jobs/career that they desire.
A poor person living in a lower socioeconomic location in USA is going to have a more difficult time to get out of that situation compared to someone who lives in a high socioeconomic location.
However as mentioned, there is more to getting an ideal job than just studying the correct course at university and achieving good grades. If you have family and friends who have other friends at the company where you want to work, they could ‘help’ get you into a higher status/higher paying job.
If you went through the university system with great grades but you don’t have family and friends that can get you into those higher paying/high status jobs, how can you get there? Most would say that you need to start where you are and work your way up by demonstrating skill and progressing on merit.
The other way is to meet a person of influence and be friends with them. So the question is: Is it easier in one country to meet a person of influence over another?
The answer in my opinion depends on the culture of the countries in question and how easy it is to meet these ‘high status’ people and their desire to form a relationship in the first place.
In places like USA, it could be easier to meet these types of people if you both share a common interest in sports or some hobby. Or maybe it is the same in Italy? (That’s the question I’m asking in the last paragraph).
My question links together the concept of ‘upward mobility’ with the social culture of a country or location.
That’s kind of the context for my last paragraph. This type of question is more difficult to convey because it can be interpreted in many different ways and scenarios can be further defined with greater specificity. In a way I think my question is unfair because it is too broad/general and not specific.
Thanks for answering my question and I appreciate that you provided a lot of explanation about corruption etc which I found interesting to learn about.
@@learningwisdom5161 I must stop here and admit that I don't have the necessary knowledge to answer to this question properly. As you know, I'm self employed and never been employed in a company in Italy. I also don't have direct nor indirect experience about this in the US.
What I can tell you is that in Italy it is common opinion that our society is very corrupted in this sense, that very influential people usually hire members of their family or friends, but I cannot tell you if this happens more or less than in the US. In these past months spent in the US I've learned that many things that Italians complain about in our country happen here too, it's just that the people don't mind them as much and therefore they don't talk about them. So this one might be one of them, or not, I really don't know.
"In places like USA, it could be easier to meet these types of people if you both share a common interest in sports or some hobby. Or maybe it is the same in Italy?" It is certainly the same in Italy. What I've observed a little is that in a situation like that an American is going to be way more proactive in picking up a hobby in order to get in contact with a person he's interested in, because of a job. In Italy most of the people think that's dishonest. So if a person gets hired because it's a family member that could also be ethically bad, but only on the side of the employer. If the employee got hired because he made an effort to please the employer, that's ethically dishonest on the side of the employee as well.
I would dare to hypothesize that "upward mobility" happens more often in the US because the mentality allows it. On the other side, there's way less distance between the bottom and the top of the social pyramid in Italy.
@@WhatashameMaryJane Many thanks for responding to my comment in such detail.
"What I can tell you is that in Italy it is common opinion that our society is very corrupted in this sense, that very influential people usually hire members of their family or friends, but I cannot tell you if this happens more or less than in the US. In these past months spent in the US I've learned that many things that Italians complain about in our country happen here too, it's just that the people don't mind them as much and therefore they don't talk about them. So this one might be one of them, or not, I really don't know."
I think this happens everywhere but people don't like to talk about it or admit that it occurs frequently. For me it was a little sad when I started to realise that 'merit' appears to be celebrated in the media and education systems but often isn’t the deciding factor when it comes to job promotions or opportunities in general.
I live in Australia and I think it is similar to USA and other countries with respect to having 'connections' etc. I don't think it's the case that most people 'don't mind' it but rather no one wants to admit that their opportunity/job promotion happened due to just 'knowing' the right person instead of acquiring it based on merit.
I guess in the mind of the culture, if you have connections that can help you then it's 'ok' but if you don't have connections then it's 'not fair'. I don't know how most people think about this either. I guess it depends on the person's specific life experiences.
"It is certainly the same in Italy. What I've observed a little is that in a situation like that an American is going to be way more proactive in picking up a hobby in order to get in contact with a person he's interested in, because of a job. In Italy most of the people think that's dishonest. So if a person gets hired because it's a family member that could also be ethically bad, but only on the side of the employer. If the employee got hired because he made an effort to please the employer, that's ethically dishonest on the side of the employee as well."
This is what I was looking for in a response; to see how each culture perceives this behaviour. That is really interesting that people in Italy would see that as being dishonest. I think in most places and even in USA that it's not a desirable thing to admit for most people but then again some people are very proud that they have the ability to form and maintain so many connections that can help them.
"I would dare to hypothesize that "upward mobility" happens more often in the US because the mentality allows it. On the other side, there's way less distance between the bottom and the top of the social pyramid in Italy."
This is a key point. The fact that there is less distance between the bottom and the top of the social pyramid would mean that there is probably a much more harmonious environment with less division between groups of people. Although sometimes I wonder if human beings just naturally compare themselves to each other irrespective of their environment.
I guess the point though is that if there is less distance between the top and the bottom of the social class in aggregate, does that mean that the ability to go from the bottom into the middle or the top of the social pyramid is easier.
Logically thinking I guess it would be easier in a practical sense because the person at the bottom is still closer to the top than in a country where the gap is much larger.
I’m going to guess that a sense of ‘community’ is much stronger in Italy as well than many other countries like USA or other places where there is a big difference between the rich and poor.
My thoughts are all over the place in this post. Your video got me thinking though which is cool.
Ti ho scoperto per caso. Non devo imparare né l'inglese né l'italiano ma mi piacciono molto i tuoi video. A parte di trovarti molto bella ti trovo anche molto simpatica! Saluti da Milano! 😘
Nice video, greetings
Hi Axel :)
@@WhatashameMaryJane Hi dear
Ciao, Mary Jane. Bravissima e bellissima!
Ciao Franco, grazie!
@@WhatashameMaryJane Not at all, EYES OF HEAVEN!!!
Complimenti per il tuo lavoro,ti seguivo da un po’ ma stasera sul video di Pietro Franzese ho capito un po’ po di te.
Magnetica e preparata
Brava 💛
Ciao da Milano 👋🏻
Ciao Antonio! Mi fa piacere che segui il canale di Pietro! Sono una grande sostenitrice della bicicletta :)
@@WhatashameMaryJane anche io amo la bicicletta,per te immagino sarebbe la marcia in più per il tuo attuale stile di vita.💛
@@antoniocorigliano68 Intendi la bicicletta per il viaggio? Io uso già la bici quotidianamente come mezzo di "communiting" in città (non mi viene in mente il termine italiano).
@@WhatashameMaryJane si intendo per il viaggio ma anche e comunque per nuovi contenuti sul canale💪🏻...ps incredibile il tuo accento(che non saprei definire se inglese o prettamente americano,non me ne intendo)ma sembri nata e vissuta in America.
Buoni giorni 💛
I think your perceptions of the US are pretty accurate. Family first, then old friends, then communities of common interest. Who lives in the houses around us is of much less interest. I also think that the internet and social media are amplifying this. My family and old friends are spread all over the country (even world). We could never travel enough to stay in touch. But with social media we can. The same with communities of interest. One caveat though. The US is very multi-cultural. So my experience is from that of a Northern European, especially Scandinavian, immigrant family. People who came to the US from other parts of the world likely have a very different perspective.
P.S. - Great content as always.
Very interesting. Thank you David.
Do you think it's more of a generational thing? Or a spiritual one? The differences? Or is it more of a cultural/regional thing?
I wish I knew.
:) love it.
I think in Italian politics is approached much more lightly than in the US. Maybe in a group of friends, politics would be a less discussed argument than love and football teams
Quanto mi piacciono questi canali
I love your observations of life in the U.S. You should write an article about it... Two comments: why do you think things are the way they are here in the U.S.? and also, do you think nyc is representative of the U.S. in general? Looking forward to your next videos... :)
Hi Charles.
- No, New York City is a way too big city for being representative of the whole country, where most cities are much smaller and there is an extended rural area. Plus a big percentage of NYC is made by recently immigrated families. But it still shows to someone who comes from outside certain trends that you can find in the whole country.
- The reason why the culture in the US is the way it is I really don't know. I can make hypothesis, for example family is not as important because people move more and the distances are bigger, which makes maintaining family relationships more difficult and especially doesn't give a sense of belonging to a specific place and a specific community that is location based. Or because in a land where the current people settled just a few centuries ago traditions are not as rooted and family is part of the traditional way of living in Italy. Also I can observe that the way small towns in rural areas are built, with houses scattered all over the land (vs all the houses and buildings built in the very center and the fields around it, as it is in Europe), highly discourages the life of a town based community.
You got it right in this video...
I live In a small village of 3500 inhabitants, and I have the same friends since I was 12 or 13, so I agree.
Then, when you start high school, you make friends with comrades or students of other classes
So yeah, I have different friends with different interests
This video really gives you an idea of Italy 50 years ago.
I don't know, talking about friendship in general I feel like that when you have an interest in common with someone it's hard to form a strong bond that goes beyond that interest because often what a real friendship needs is time spent together and shared experiences and as an adult and in big cities it's hard to have this time. BTW I'm Italian and I live in Italy, your channel is so interesting. In the other video when I heard you speaking Italian I was, I don't know, amazed, your voice sounded so different 😆
Exactly, common interests are NOT important for a stable strong bonding!!! It's something deeper.
Do Italians in general use social media (Facebook etc) differently to Americans? In USA and similar countries you see a lot of politics and memes etc in the content of posts. Do Italians post the same types of content and jokes or is it more family oriented sharing with a focus on local community content?
I think It's the same
@@nefas3904 Thanks for your comment. In that case I guess internet culture is mostly the same between all countries.
@@learningwisdom5161 Same opinion. Internet is similar to a country apart
I wouldn't be able to answer if not based on my personal experience, which we know on social media is not representative of everyone. In my Facebook I find quite a bit of political content (maybe 10-15%?), but it's never memes, it's rather shared articulated thoughts or articles, that are usually also very articulated and interesting. I don't know what kind of content is posted in the US so I don't have a term of comparison. In Italy in my experience it's definitely very personal: friends, family, local communities.
I think my family situation is a lot more like yours, than what you describe as the typical American upbringing.
Home is a place that you can be grounded, and a place that reminds of the history of your upbringing, and the lessons you have learnt along the way.
This is what has always been traditional in many of the older parts of the world, when people mostly didn't travel far, because there was no real need to find the things that were already provided for them.
Thus the order of the family unit was always central to that way of life, and the culture and history evolved side by side, in a balanced kind of way.
That's actually a very clever remark Andrew.
One problem with this approach is that travels started to be so affordable relatively very recently, in the past 70 years, whereas the US are way older than that. So I still cannot explain why them...
@@WhatashameMaryJane I was a little bit unsure what you meant, but what I was getting at, was that the cultural and historical patterns were set early in the older parts of the world, so are deeply embedded, in everything to do with the historical context.
The U.S. however, is a place that reinvents it's history, and only really celebrates the things that it feels collectively proud of.
I think this is why a lot of Americans are deeply patriotic, because they get an unrealistic portrayal of what real history is about.
Mary Jane-- coming from a US perspective, I think in general you are correct. My perspective differs from yours in that I live in a city in the Midwest and lean different than you politically. I have friends that lean left, but I would agree most political talk is with those I agree with.
However in the Midwest of US, I think families are more traditional and close families are still a vast majority of people. I think NYC, being so large and with people migrating their from all over the country (and world) they are more removed from their families than most places in the US.
I do agree, people in US make friends through out lives based on common interests. For example, I have my family that still am very close to ( even though I’ve moved to a different State), I still have childhood/college friends I still talk to and see on occasion, and I have friends I’ve made as an adult ( through common interests and work).
Hi Steve, I don't have many subscribers from the Midwest so your contribution is precious! Thank you for writing it so clearly also. Where in the Midwest are from?
Mary Jane-- I grew up in the Kansas City, Missouri area (home of the Super Bowl Champion KC Chiefs 🤪) and currently live in the Oklahoma City, OK area.
I enjoy your perspective and follow your travels. It’s interesting seeing your cultural perspective as an Italian living in the US.
@@steveimhoff5646 What reason made you move from Kansas City to Oklahoma?
Mary Jane-- moved from Kansas City to Oklahoma City due to an employment managerial promotion. Going back to KC this weekend to see family 😀
I don’t agree at all with the making friends part. I think it depends if you move to your home city or not. I am from the south of the country and as many of us I moved to another city (Milan) in order to get better opportunities. So it was part of my journey renew my friendship and get to know new people.
Anyway I want to thank you for your videos on RUclips… they are helping me with my English and you are giving me interesting perspectives on things in general ❤
Love feeling like I'm travelling with u 🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪💖
Da quale parte dell'Italia vieni?
Dal Friuli.
@@WhatashameMaryJane Effettivamente ho notato un po (molto poco)dall' accento che provenissi dal nord. Mi è sembrato a primo impatto che fosse veneto l'accento(io vivo in provincia di Bergamo)
Sei di una bellezza disarmante! e il ragionamento che hai fatto sul confrontarsi qui rispetto agli USA è molto intelligente. Cazzo ti sposooo
Your views of American family are probably skewed by being in New York City. You probably know a lot of people that came to NYC from a long distance, just like you! My parents also live in the same house we grew up in in Connecticut and I live nearby (I'm 34). In fact, they live in the same town where my maternal great-grandparents lived when they came from Italy around 1918. My grandmother and her sisters also lived there. Also like you, my parents marriage had a lot of turmoil, but separating or divorcing was never an option in their mind; that may also be because of their generation (born in 1948 and 1952). My father, however, was born in North Carolina and came to this area for educational and career reasons as a doctor. He has 5 siblings and they all moved to different parts of the country for graduate school and careers. Every family is different! However, perhaps because my mother is of Italian decent, we retain those aspects of Italian family that you have, even though my great grandparents were from an area near Napoli and in Sicilia.
What a nice story of your family!
It doesn't say what the rend is, nor it does the claim that "every family is different". :)
queste possibilità di relazioni in Italia come in USA ci sono anche se poche. poi c'è la questione della disponibilità economica di una persona. ci sono difficoltà in questo settore,non tutti i giovani trovano lavoro e/o possono permettersi di pagare subito l'affitto di un proprio appartamento e perciò molti non si muovono dal proprio paese (e casa) di origine a meno che non ci sia qualche svolta nella vita personale e/o familiare. perciò a volte non conoscono davvero il mondo esterno al proprio paese.
io sono del parere che è bello avere amici sia con interessi diversi e opinioni diverse sulla politica ecc sia amici con interessi in comune =)
I'm Canadian. I'm now living in my 37th or 38th residence of my 75 years. This not typical in my country.
😱 I'm confident that it's not typical in any country! It sounds almost like a nomadic life... How did you come to move so often, if you don't mind me asking?
Actually, I've only moved 3 times, since 1989. So it was 34 or 35 times by age 43. I'm not a gypsy. I've always lived in a house or apartment. My father trained to a be a paratrooper during WWII. He landed badly on a jump, hurt his back and worked for the army in Ottawa, at a desk for the balance of the war. He met my mother and I came along in 1946.
We lived with my grandmother (maternal), at first. Then my father felt a desire to become a minister and we traveled to three different cities in Ontario, (my first brother was born in 1949) before going to Tennessee, USA in 1951, where he further studied the ministry. But we came back to Canada in late 1951 to my grandparents (paternal) place in Montreal and he gave up on being a minister.
In early 1952, we moved back to the as born. Ottawa area, where we lived in three different places. My second brother was born. My fatheer started off in Ottawa, as a draftsman for the government. But I guess, with 3 boys to support, he wanted to do more. So he got a job as a salesman, in 1954, and for the next 12 years, he went from one unsuccessful sales opportunity to the next, and moving several times. I went to 6 different schools in grades 3 and 4. As a result, I never learned how to write properly.
We were in Toronto, for the first part of 1956. My dad bought a house he obviously couldn't afford. I finshed grade 4 and then in the summer he lost the house and was in debt and we moved back to Ottawa, where we lived until 1966. My sister was born in 1957. We lived in three different places in that period, beginning with a very low rent place for 6 years and then ending up in a better neighbourhood. The second move was to the house (townhouse) next door.
My school situation stabized though. Grades 5 and 6 in one school (that only had 6 grades), then an immtermediate school for grades 7 and 8 and I only went to one high school (graduated). My mother had begun working during this time to support the family.
In 1966,my father got a great job with the federal government and finally climbed out of the hole he dug. I was 20, but decided to move to Toronto (where his new job was) with the family and attempt university. But my writing problems were my downfall. I dropped out. We lived in two differnt houses in Toronto, the second quite an inprovement over the first, In 1968, my brother (3 years my junior) and I moved to Ottawa, and shared an apartment. I eventually got a job as afingerprint technician, with the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mouned Police), our national police force. I was a civilian member (no uniform).
My father got a job transfer to Ottawa, and my parents moved back here in 1969, My brother and I moved back in with them. I moved out to my own place in 1970 and lived in three different apartments until 1973, when I was transferred, by the RCMP, to Vancouver. I spent 10 months there and got homesick for Ottawa. They wouldn't transfer me back, so I quit. I moved back in with my parents and got a temporary job with the government. After winning a competion for a permament job in 1974, I remained in that position (it was re-written upwards twice) until my retirement in 2001.
My parents moved once, while I was still with them. Finally, I moved out in 1977 for good, or so I thought. I moved several times, on my own until 1987, when my parents separated and divorced (he went to Vancouver, pased away there in 2014). My other brother (6 years my junior) and I moved into my mother's house (my father sold his half of it to her for $1) until she sold it. Then the three of us rented a house together, until one day my brother (also a government worker) went to the nurse's office, at work, He married her in 1989 (he is now in Victoria, British Columbia).
So my mother and I bought a three bedroom garden home where we lived together until 2005. By far the longest time at one address, in my life. In a previous e-mail, I mentioned my passion for a cappella music. Well, in 2005, I decided I wanted to move closer to Toronto, where there is a lot more live a cappella, than in Ottawa.
We sold the house and split the proceeds. My mother (86 at the time) moved into a retirement home (a few blocks from my sister) and I moved to Hamilton, an hour west of Toronto, where prices are cheaper. My mother passed away in 2008.
I lived Hamilton for 10 years (two different addreses). In 2015, as I neared 70, I decided, that should I lose my health, I wanted to be near family. So I moved back to Ottawa and still here in the same apartment., living like a hermit to avoid covid. (I have pre-existing respiratory issues).
Maybe, we were nomads. But not always by choice. Quite often by circumstance. There has never been this big family home that everybody returns to. My grandparents on both sides didn't have this. Though, my mother's father (he died 2 years before my birth) might have gotten rich. My great grandfather owned a livery (for horses) stable, right in downtown Ottawa (a few blocks from Canada's parliament buildings). My grandfather turned it into a garage for cars and lost it during the depression, in the 1930s. I can only imagine what that land is worth today. My mother's brother, apparently, used to curse his father, every time he drove by the property.
Sorry it was so long.
All the best,
Jim
I might have to disagree with the "divorces" point, as an Italian guy who lives in a relatively small town (70k people), it is really easy to find divorced families, this is based on my experience obv
It looks like the divorce rate in Italy is 46.8% compared to 44.6% in America. Are couples getting divorced later in life maybe and not starting new families?
Compare it with the marriage rate.
@@WhatashameMaryJane Italy 3.2 marriages per 1,000 inhabitants and US 6.5 marriages per 1,000. 2018 rates. Twice as many marriages means more divorces even though we get divorced slightly less often. That makes sense.
Ciao Ci fai un video o una diretta da NY sotto la neve?
Nah me la sono goduta senza lavorare la bufera di ieri :) Lunedì è il mio giorno libero settimanale.
@@WhatashameMaryJane Per fortuna che c'è instagram :-)
Is it usual in the USA to go to a friend's home like if it was your own home as shown on TV series? I think of Veronica in Shameless where she goes to Fiona's home whenever she wants, and in many other movies and TV series I saw this kind of situations
I'd say that in the US there is not as much sense of privacy as there is in Italy, therefore houses in general are more open to acquaintances to go in.
@@WhatashameMaryJane really!? I would have said otherwise.
are you saying that in Usa people come to visit you frequently as happens in the south of Italy?
Interesting Mary Jane , The divorce rate here is 50%. In second marriages the divorce rate is almost 70%. This creates a family divide & is why so many of us here have casual friends. We avoid substantive relationships & seek escapism.
Hi David! 50%, really?? I haven't even looked at the statistics before making this video. That's crazy!! Or maybe in the American culture is considered normal? Is it perceived simply as a modern way of living or it's perceived as a problem?
@@WhatashameMaryJane Its accepted as completely normal to get divorced. I did & all my friends did. I had no kids in my 4 year marriage. Most of my friends did. Its sad that so many fall out of love after making a " lifetime " commitment.
Well, i'm not really surprised about that. If you grew up learning that your house, your friends, your city and, sometimes, your family are just passing things why should you feel different about the love of your life?! (of course i'm not talking specifically about you but about the general culture that i've seen in the Us, of course there are exceptions to that)
@@WhatashameMaryJane It's deceptive, it's mostly the same people having multiple divorces in their lifetime.
Sul divorzio mi sa che sei stata fortunata, non so se per il contesto in cui sei cresciuta o per altri motivi ma in Italia il tasso dei divorzi è del 48%, quindi è piuttosto comune.
About the divorce I think that you’ve been lucky, I don’t know if it’s because of the context that you used to live in or for other reasons but in Italy the divorce rate is 48%, so it’s pretty common.
Sono contento che il tuo corso sia andato subito sold out, e chi lo avrebbe detto che in America è difficile trovare democratici e repubblicani amici aahahahah ^^, se posso darti un consiglio, aggiungi dei tags ai tuoi video, sarà più facile ottimizzare la seo e far uscire i tuoi video tra i correllati di altri video! ^^
Ciao Paolo, grazie del consiglio. Ho riempito i miei video di tag per i primi due anni di attività su RUclips, poi mi sono stufata perché faccio tutto da sola e trovare i tag richiede tempo, e non mi sembra che i risultati giustificassero tutto quel tempo.
Ciao Mary Jane! Credo che la geografia abbia una certa importanza (oltre alla storia, ovviamente). In Italia la maggior parte del territorio è montuoso e collinare e questo ha favorito, da sempre, la nascita di città-stato e regni e repubbliche relativamente piccoli. (Obietterai: "E l'Impero romano, allora?" Potrei rispondere che l'Impero fu tale finchè ebbe il controllo del Mediterraneo (niente montagne e rotte relativamente sicure e conosciute). Roma cominciò ad essere potenza davvero "imperiale" solo dopo la prima guerra con Cartagine, quando dovette dotarsi di una flotta efficiente e potè conquistare Sicilia e Sardegna). In queste condizioni, se il tuo vicino non la pensa come te, lo sopporti oppure, se sei abbastanza forte, lo mandi in esilio (come accadde a Dante, per esempio). Se, poi, come giustamente dici tu nel video, hai la casa (in mattoni o pietra, non in legno) che appartiene alla tua famiglia da anni, magari da secoli e lì vicino ci sono le tombe dei tuoi cari, è difficile che levi le tende per attraversare montagne e fiumi per...finire dove? Insomma, credo che le "Grandi Pianure/Praterie" di quelli che diventeranno gli USA offrissero molti più spazi da conquistare e case di legno e capanne fossero più facili da abbandonare e ricostruire altrove. Tale maggiore possibilità di scelta permette più facilmente di scegliere i vicini. Credo che, questo, abbia favorito quella mentalità. D'altra parte, guarda sui "Social": gli immensi spazi che mettono a disposizione, le enormi distanze che copri con un semplice "mi piace", gli algoritmi che li regolano, non ci portano ad interagire sempre di più con chi riteniamo ci sia più affine e abbia i nostri stessi interessi e idee? C'è gente che ti banna per un clic "sbagliato"...
Grazie per il video!
Ciao Luciano! Mi ha fatto molto piacere leggere il tuo commento, ben articolato. Quindi suggerisci che il motivo sia "geografico" (tra virgolette per che si parla anche di Web)?
@@WhatashameMaryJane E' quel che credo. O, più precisamente, penso che l'assenza di quei vincoli storici così forti nella nostra Italia, in buona parte dettati proprio dalla geografia, abbia un peso determinante. Poi, come in ogni cosa, la risposta non può essere una soltanto.
@@lucianomonti7335 Mi piace molto la conclusione della tua riflessione :)
There are alot of differences in the USA, especially when we have so many races and ethnicities. But there seems to be alot of differences within some European countries as well especially both Germany and Italy. Diet, culture, accents etc are different from one area of Germany vs another as it is with Italy. Just seeing physical differences like height is noticeable as well. Sicilian men look 175 cm on average but men in Lombardia and Trentino look about 180 to 182 cm on average. In Germany I thought that these Germans in Bavaria and Baden-Wurttemburg looked like the shortest Europeans in Europe with about 173 cm on average for men at best but in lower Saxony it is probably about 182 cm for average and maybe 185 cm on average for men in Schleswig-Holstein making these Germans look like the tallest Europeans in Europe. I think on average with all Europeans most countries are in the 175 cm to 177 cm range for men so Italians can have this average to shorter than average stereotype when compared to many other Europeans but also have a tall stereotype when compared to a majority of other Europeans as well and Germany is the same way depending on which region of Germany. So if you are a 175 cm man you will feel very average in much of Italy and Germany but in other areas of Italy and Germany you will feel not just short but borderline Hobbit height like it feels in these Scandinavian countries and in the Netherlands.
Mmmmmmh....
Italian here (sorry about my rude nickname) - I'd say my relationship with my family is quite alike a typical American's, but given the circumstances it doesn't feel "normal" (and it's quite painful). My parents got divorced and both of them made some sort of a family of their own, but I don't feel legitimised to perceive either of them as mine. It's a weird limbo, here, when your specific situation doesn't fit the "norm"
When you have kids the people you hang out with the most are your kids’ friends’ parents 😄
I would like to add another interesting fact, I think that italians hardly relate to a different culture, I’m Italian and is what I see in my point of view. I’ve never been in the USA but I don’t think there is the same problem, even if racial clashes still happen. Tell me if I’m wrong✌️
Ciao Roberto, I'm not sure I understood your remark. "Italians hardly relate to a different culture" meaning that they don't make. theeffort to get to know different cultures?
@@WhatashameMaryJane is not a matter of effort, is a matter of “closed mind”. I don’t know if I said right.
Quite often foreign cultures aren’t well-received in Italy sometimes even the foreigners, it’s like the famous motto “ l’Italia agli italiani “. I’m not saying that all of them think like that, but is quite common thought.
I hope you got my message. However I’m really grateful to you for making me improve my english.
@@robertogianni9851 This is what I imagined you were saying, I just wanted a confirmation that I wasn't misunderstanding you.
That's a very interesting remark you made, indeed. Food for thoughts.
In Italy we have 3 or 4 friends from our childhood, people with whom we like to have meals (89% of the population) , people whom we like to debate (99% of population), 1% remaining are children below speaking age
Da quel che so, in Italia rispetto all'America è più facile vedere due persone che convivono senza essere sposati.
Sai è una spesa non indifferente quella del matrimonio(parlo di qua in italia) e lo stesso vale per il divorzio, quindi si tende a formare anche una famiglia senza essere di fatto sposati, del resto non è uno status che bisogna assumere obbligatoriamente per vivere insieme.
Per questo magari ci sono più divorzi in America.
Yes in the US these is a sort of obsession with marriage, it's considered as the only socially validating option for being an adult over 30. Therefore I see people getting married very easily and very quickly, something that would be unthinkable in Italy.
I'm Italian-American. Italian-American families here have carried over many of the same traditions and behaviors from the old country. The culture of Italian families are very patriarchal and based upon respect, order, closeness, etc. Most American families used to be like this, but it has largely broken down since year 2000, and has gotten progressively worse.
Schools and families have thrown out God and any semblance of these patriarchal family dynamics that keep things stable and keep order in a family. America is now based upon a satanic (me, me, me first) entitled culture, where very few people exercise even the most basic of human respect to other people. Of course, this leads to societal breakdown.
The government has also rigged laws against men, so that i's very easy for a girl to leave and also get awarded cash and prizes for doing so. I'm not saying divorce option should not exist, but it shouldn't be so easy, and without any sort of fault. In my opinion, this is deliberate, because "they" don't want people to have nice normal families here.
I'm also not trying to rag on American women, but they leave a LOT to be desired, generally. They really don't seem to care all that much about men, anymore, aside from utility and monetary value. They also behave and act like uncouth men, and many shamelessly sleep around with not just many men, but also girls too. It's all become disgusting for a guy like me that is mostly traditional.
Our country is very politically and culturally divided, and this definitely breaks apart families. Many children here have been brainwashed by marxist educators to view their own parents as "evil," "privileged," or "oppressors." Many of the liberal women here refuse to date a guy if he is more traditional, with more traditional values. It's pretty sickening what's going on.
I also don't mean to make this about absolute politics, like left versus right, but I mean just traditional values versus progressive values. In my eyes, there is no denying that progressiveness has ripped this country, and also families, right apart. People only care about themselves, and it's hard to trust anyone here. I think this is just what happens when too many different cultures are crammed in one area.
This country is on the fast-track to fragmentation/secession, in a best case scenario. In a worst case....major civil war.
(Translation) For my Italian brothers and sisters.......
Sono italo-americana. Le famiglie italiane qui hanno riportato molte delle stesse tradizioni e comportamenti del vecchio paese. La cultura delle famiglie italiane è molto patriarcale e basata sul rispetto, l'ordine, la vicinanza, ecc. La maggior parte delle famiglie americane era così, ma si è in gran parte disgregata dal 2000 ed è progressivamente peggiorata.
Le scuole e le famiglie hanno buttato fuori Dio e ogni parvenza di queste dinamiche familiari patriarcali che mantengono le cose stabili e mantengono l'ordine in una famiglia. L'America è ora basata su una cultura satanica (io, io, io prima), in cui pochissime persone esercitano anche il più basilare rispetto umano verso le altre persone. Naturalmente, questo porta al collasso della società.
Il governo ha anche truccato leggi contro gli uomini, in modo che sia molto facile per una ragazza andarsene e anche ricevere denaro e premi per farlo. Non sto dicendo che l'opzione di divorzio non dovrebbe esistere, ma non dovrebbe essere così facile e senza alcun tipo di colpa. Secondo me, questo è intenzionale, perché "loro" non vogliono che le persone abbiano famiglie normali e carine qui.
Inoltre, non sto cercando di infuriare con le donne americane, ma lasciano molto a desiderare, in generale. Non sembrano più preoccuparsi così tanto degli uomini, a parte l'utilità e il valore monetario. Si comportano anche e si comportano come uomini rozzo, e molti dormono spudoratamente non solo con molti uomini, ma anche con ragazze.È diventato tutto disgustoso per uno come me che è per lo più tradizionale.
Il nostro paese è molto diviso politicamente e culturalmente, e questo separa definitivamente le famiglie. Molti bambini qui sono stati sotto il lavaggio del cervello da educatori marxisti per vedere i propri genitori come "malvagi", "privilegiati" o "oppressori". Molte delle donne liberali qui rifiutano di uscire con un ragazzo se è più tradizionale, con valori più tradizionali. Quello che sta succedendo è piuttosto disgustoso.
Inoltre, non intendo parlare di politica assoluta, come sinistra contro destra, ma intendo solo valori tradizionali contro valori progressisti. Ai miei occhi, non si può negare che il progresso ha strappato questo paese, e anche le famiglie, a pezzi. Le persone si preoccupano solo di se stesse ed è difficile fidarsi di qualcuno qui. Penso che questo sia proprio ciò che accade quando troppe culture diverse sono stipate in un'area.
Questo paese è sulla corsia preferenziale verso la frammentazione / secessione, nella migliore delle ipotesi. Nel peggiore dei casi ... una grande guerra civile.
I don't really know what to answer to this analysis.
I will make only one remark: the fact that progressiveness in this country has brought so many negative consequences doesn't mean that being progressive in general is bad. In other parts of the world progressiveness has meant better life quality for the whole society.
Mach doch mal wieder ein Video, an dem ich was zum Kritisieren hab ;)
Ahahah ich werde mal versuchen ;)
@@WhatashameMaryJane hier habe ich noch was extrem spannendes zum Problem ‘Gleich und Gleich’ hängt immer zusammen ab, in den USA: ruclips.net/video/9ij5zI36QcA/видео.html (
In Europa wäre so etwas nicht möglich.
Lässt sich eine Wahl noch offensichtlicher manipulieren?
In America and in the English speaking world at large, it is generally considered a social faux pas to talk about politics. So people don't know where most of their friends stand politically, except for a few close ones.
I can see how this habit has its benefits, but, in a democracy, if you don't discuss politics with your friends, with whom are you going to do it?
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I don’t think “confrontation” is wrong. On the contrary
Based on the definition I found on the dictionary, it's not what I meant in that context
@@WhatashameMaryJane fair enough:)
Diversity is rough hear in US. People tend to exclude opinionated people who do not conform to their mode of group thinking. They avoid confrontation and settle into what is most comfortable to them. People do not like to challenge their belief systems or explore other truths.
❤️
Come hai fatto ad imparare così bene inglese
10:53 “… if you only hang out with people who have the same opinion as you on politics” Ha ha! Ah, American politics it’s a nightmare because of this. Everyone thinks the other side is the devil and is also dumb. Thank you for your analysis of culture.
Also, a note about relationships. Is it easy for a foreigner to penetrate those circles of friends that go way back to when everyone was a lot younger? Here in the states in suburban and rural Midwest, those circles of people are very tight and cliquish. You will always feel like an outsider. Unless you’re white and European it’s very hard to fit in. That’s why immigrants stay close to the big cities as well.
Also, do you have that older friendships are deeper and give people more of sense of meaning and purpose? When all you have is a bit of common interest like a hobby or something… that relationship cannot endure hardship and discomfort, such as being there when there’s grieving and so on. Just some thoughts.
Disagree about families mostly everyone around me still has their family home and are close with their families. Regarding politics - it wasn't always like this!! It is new for us too and that's why it's hard to manage. I think it's going to be this way in Europe too one day.
Hi Nicole, can you also tell me where you're from, which town in the US?
@@WhatashameMaryJane Central NJ, Princeton.
I am single from Egypt. I want to be a friend of one of the friends of the West. Can I find here?
Oh, e non dimentichiamoci i complimenti a caso e totalmente improvvisi dai perfetti sconosciuti. Tipo cammini sulla strada e d'improvviso ti fermano per dirti che adorano le tue scarpe. Se lo facessero qui in Italia sarebbe assai strano e fuori luogo.
Ho sentito raccontare da persone che conosco che andando in America (LA principalmente) le persone facevano loro laude a caso, anche magari dicendo che fossero bellissime persone. La mia faccia: 👁️👄👁️ La mia unica domanda: cosa?
When I lived in Sicily it was traumatic for me the impossibility of dynamically choosing new friends. Almost all people hang out with old friends and relatives, with great difficulty in finding new friends. This has led me to deeply detest the social aspects of this sunny land. I enjoyed your video very much and found a confirmation of my thoughts on these topics.
When did you get married?
3:27 I'm a Srilankan and divorce is not even an option. I mean it's rare like super rare to hear that word
Connect this with your "individualism" video. In the US, freedom, individualism, and equality are highly valued. Add in the women's movement and laws that allowed for divorce, plus a history of slavery and open immigration (Many Americans left family to come to the US "for better lives" - work, oppression, freedom of religion, fleeing dangerous situations) and that has led to a breakdown of the nuclear family. Yes, we are a big nation, so moving from one state to another, to go to school, or for a new/better job, is no big deal. There are people who stay put in the town they were born in and their family has resided for generations. Though it seems like the most talented and ambitious Americans are not afraid to risk moving to a new place for better opportunities. I do find it interesting that people who have "moved" to the US, leaving family behind, have trouble seeing the situation clearly.
Hi Joe, I didn't understand just your last sentence, about what you find interesting.
@@WhatashameMaryJane Many Americans come from people who left their families behind. People today who come to the US also often leave families behind. It's not an easy decision to make. When comparing societies/families, I think it is important to keep in mind, that some Americans come from "broken" families to start.
@@josephbordonaro That’s a very interesting observation.
Comunque il rossetto rosso anche se a me piace, non è Americano. 😂 😂
The average American changes residences every 4 years......Marriage sometimes can distance friends.( my wife doesn't like him OR his wife is not to crazy about me) and so on.......I disagree with your view of politics separating good friends on a one to one basis......As time goes on there is more opportunity to piss off your friends to where maybe they no longer want to bother with you..........And finally, I saw the video with Ariel and you touring your home town, you were great...
Mary Jane is not an Italian name, sounds Anglo-Saxon.
My friend lives great in Italy, i live like shit here
There is something about your Mic that made me change video ..Ill check that !
My main mic is in reparation and I'm still waiting for it to be sent back to me from the production company. This is my backup mic, I didn't think it sounded so bad though, you're the first to complain.
Non voglio rovinare il discorso... Ma il punto principale è che in Italia ce ne sbattiamo bellamente i cosiddetti dei nostri "vicini di casa". Poi si, la famiglia, la casa, il posto dove sei nato e cresciuto... Certamente. Siamo molto più legati al clan che agli interessi comuni... perché non ci interessano gli interessi degli altri.
I don't wanna ruin the magic, but the main reason is that Italians give a damn about what the neighborhood thinks or does.
Then yes, there are family, home, the place where you were born and raised.. sure.. but we are just more tied to our Clan then to our "common interests" because we simply don't care about somebody else's interests.
Have you studied English at university?
No, I haven't.
Divorce is rare in Italy?!
"Rare" or "frequent" is always relative. What I can claim is that divorce is not a standard event in Italian families. I cannot claim the same for American ones.
@@WhatashameMaryJane yes, I probably based my judgement too much on my experience
You look like Jacinda Ardern
Ciao Congratulazioni per il tuo matrimonioooooo... ci faresti vedere le foto...il vestito, la cerimonia ecc...
Fun fact :Spider Man is fighting Green Goblin while she is busy making RUclips uploads