PART TWO: Twitter trying to say MORE things at the same time

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  • Опубликовано: 3 фев 2025

Комментарии • 3,6 тыс.

  • @ConnorPugs
    @ConnorPugs 2 года назад +13626

    If someone yelled at me that they’d “wipe my ass” I actually think I’d be more intimidated

    • @thefunkiestswag
      @thefunkiestswag 2 года назад +155

      Hi connor pugs do u have a pet pug :]

    • @anynonymous1585
      @anynonymous1585 2 года назад

      "I'll kill yourself!"

    • @knucklepilled
      @knucklepilled 2 года назад +321

      tbh, same
      why wouldnt i be intimidated

    • @alifelessrock48
      @alifelessrock48 2 года назад +299

      Seriously? I'd appreciate it. Reminds me of when I was a toddler with no motor function.

    • @AlienVecna
      @AlienVecna 2 года назад +48

      I like pugs.

  • @kriswithak2986
    @kriswithak2986 2 года назад +2881

    I once hit someone with my swinging lunchbox and i tried to say 'sorry' and 'oops' at the same time and then ended up shouting at some random student, 'SOUP'

  • @Ronnie-qi8ij
    @Ronnie-qi8ij 2 года назад +839

    Was trying to tell a girl named Rebecca that she left behind her water bottle. I WANTED to say,” Rebecca, your water bottle!” but I couldn’t form the words and was panicking because she was walking away and I yelled, “Rebotabottle!” and everyone looked so confused 💀

    • @ItsLucy_GD
      @ItsLucy_GD 2 года назад +159

      Rebotabottle sounds like the name for a Pokemon

    • @DuoEditzYT
      @DuoEditzYT Год назад +10

      Yeah

    • @ddeonusgirl
      @ddeonusgirl Год назад +18

      IM DYING-💀

    • @marga8732
      @marga8732 Год назад +50

      Note to self: do NOT, under ANY circumstances, read through the comments section of this video while eating! 🤣God, I almost _choked!_

    • @michaelhorton8489
      @michaelhorton8489 Год назад +6

      @@ItsLucy_GDIT DOESSSSSSSSS

  • @JovanLemon
    @JovanLemon 2 года назад +2539

    Imagine you're interviewing someone and they say "Pleasure to beat you"
    Now it depends on your personality but that's either an instant hire or an instant denial

    • @heather2503
      @heather2503 2 года назад +263

      Depends on the job

    • @JovanLemon
      @JovanLemon 2 года назад +32

      @@heather2503 yeah

    • @exotic1405
      @exotic1405 2 года назад +97

      @@heather2503 now that, is a certified hee hee haw haw moment

    • @robinrehlinghaus1944
      @robinrehlinghaus1944 2 года назад +17

      @@exotic1405 Herh-hurh!

    • @StuffandThings_
      @StuffandThings_ 2 года назад +120

      Well, it can also be taken as a challenge. They're not here to mess around. There here to fight the final boss.

  • @RattMetal
    @RattMetal 2 года назад +10672

    Imagining a teacher just yelling “GOOD GOD!” At a student unprovoked is so hilarious

    • @The_True_Mx_Pink
      @The_True_Mx_Pink 2 года назад +363

      I can't think of a reply to make this funnier so pretend I did.

    • @kaw57_
      @kaw57_ 2 года назад +302

      @@The_True_Mx_Pink then just,,,, dont reply??

    • @The_True_Mx_Pink
      @The_True_Mx_Pink 2 года назад +454

      @@kaw57_ No.

    • @Spongyboi897
      @Spongyboi897 2 года назад +238

      *"can i get squeezed"*

    • @fellowscales458
      @fellowscales458 2 года назад +105

      @@Spongyboi897 imagine you say this to your crush and she takes you upstairs
      That'd be like a dream,infact it can only be a dream

  • @thegrouchization
    @thegrouchization Год назад +241

    Here's one that's actually permanently altered my vocabulary: When I was leaving from a visit to my mum, she meant to say either "Goodbye" or "Love you", but it came out as "Good love!". Ever since then, that's been our go-to phrase for bidding each other farewell.

  • @doriandaykin2747
    @doriandaykin2747 2 года назад +4139

    I know this isn't the game but I'll never forget the time a waitress asked "any allergens?" And I said "no thanks"

    • @flingyourself
      @flingyourself 2 года назад +248

      I wish I could say that

    • @lucinda_null
      @lucinda_null 2 года назад +91

      I did something really similar a couple years ago

    • @meridaskywalker7816
      @meridaskywalker7816 2 года назад +327

      I used to be that one kid who's always late for school, and once when entering the school library, instead of 'Good morning" I habitually said "Sorry, I'm late".

    • @BobbyThompsonJunior
      @BobbyThompsonJunior 2 года назад +110

      Technically it still makes sense because you're saying no but thanks for asking

    • @bluepixelsxo
      @bluepixelsxo 2 года назад +13

      Lmfao

  • @curllum
    @curllum 2 года назад +4003

    Most of these just end up being more intimidating than what was intended, like, if I was walking past someone and said excuse me and they replied “no” I would be intimidated immediately

  • @cheeplethebulldog1420
    @cheeplethebulldog1420 Год назад +73

    I got my words mixed up once and said at my graduation ceremony out of pure excitement. I thought of saying “this is the greatest day of my life” but then someone bumped into me, so “excuse me” passed into my mind.
    The result? “This is the greatest excuse of me.”

  • @sereapple
    @sereapple 2 года назад +4024

    The "I'm Paul" one honestly gave me the best chuckle I've had in a while. These videos get better and better by the batch.

    • @linainverse9369
      @linainverse9369 2 года назад +40

      Reminds me of the DNA Productions logo

    • @Spongyboi897
      @Spongyboi897 2 года назад +2

      @@linainverse9369 Same

    • @linainverse9369
      @linainverse9369 2 года назад

      @@Spongyboi897 silly monkey, isn't he?

    • @graphitebendy
      @graphitebendy 2 года назад +39

      Better call Paul.

    • @TheDKGamerz0208
      @TheDKGamerz0208 2 года назад +16

      I cried laughing so much at that, that my parents came running, because they thought I was dying.

  • @thatratremi
    @thatratremi 2 года назад +2230

    Once at my waitering job I tried to say “Bon appetit” and “Here you go” while giving a family their food. Ended up saying “Hepatitis.”

    • @kazzeristic
      @kazzeristic Год назад +87

      BRO IM DEAD

    • @genericname2747
      @genericname2747 Год назад +103

      Yum yum hepatitis

    • @justlessie
      @justlessie Год назад +53

      I'm literally crying right now 😹

    • @TAKTlmao
      @TAKTlmao Год назад

      Ahahahdbrj ktkp8zru,dIrXt9CogxGx) hpChoCy9X9 cy9Cy9"}¤😂😂😂😂😂

    • @K4113B4113
      @K4113B4113 Год назад +31

      tears in my eyes🤣

  • @eternitybreezee
    @eternitybreezee 2 года назад +1637

    Once I tried to say ‘all good’ and ‘okay’ to my mother at the same time, ended up saying ‘all gay’. She smiled and thanked me for describing our family.

  • @holopearl1829
    @holopearl1829 2 года назад +3294

    Back when I was a girl scout, I had been doing hours long cookie sales. This was when I'd read to my parents before bed bc I love reading. I came out of my room to ask if they were ready for storytime, and I deadpan asked my parents if they wanted to buy some girl scout cookies
    Edit: My mom bought us some thin mints to split earlier that day

    • @naeratillnaturen
      @naeratillnaturen 2 года назад +390

      ...did they want to buy some girl scout cookies though?

    • @holopearl1829
      @holopearl1829 2 года назад +340

      @@naeratillnaturen my mom got a box of thin mints for us to split

    • @cheeseburgermonkey7104
      @cheeseburgermonkey7104 2 года назад +131

      @@holopearl1829 h o w a b o u t 2 m i l l i o n ?

    • @IsabellaNelson586
      @IsabellaNelson586 2 года назад +1

      @@cheeseburgermonkey7104 *screams

    • @holopearl1829
      @holopearl1829 2 года назад +81

      @@cheeseburgermonkey7104 no, one million

  • @TheWookWife
    @TheWookWife 2 года назад +831

    One time I was trying to say both "My mother gave birth to me" and "When I was Born" at the same time, and it ended up as "When I gave birth to my mother"

  • @nethertaxi3719
    @nethertaxi3719 2 года назад +805

    one time i tried saying "i want to go home" and "man i'm tired" but ended up screaming "I WANT A MAN" at my friend while passing them in the school hallway... i had to wait two hours before i could explain myself 💀

    • @mushroomy9899
      @mushroomy9899 Год назад +123

      I did something similar, I once p, completely out of context in the hallway said: “men are _really_ great at that” luckily we are both gay.

    • @48toko
      @48toko Год назад +23

      SKULL EMOJI

    • @goofy-ahh101.
      @goofy-ahh101. Год назад +6

      I’m you’re 201st. Like!

    • @olivercharles2930
      @olivercharles2930 Год назад

      Too late, you're a homosexual now.

    • @marga8732
      @marga8732 Год назад +8

      You and me both!

  • @KatieT97
    @KatieT97 2 года назад +518

    Today at work I tried telling a customer “sorry we’re out of spicy” and “do you want any sauces” but I said “sorry want some saucy?”

    • @-TheOnlyTalentedScreech-
      @-TheOnlyTalentedScreech- Год назад +39

      “YEAH BOY WANNA GET REAL SAUCY IN HERE? 😏😏”
      IM CRYING 😂😂

    • @stars_acc
      @stars_acc Год назад +34

      "sorry, we're out of *spicy* today"

    • @TheOne_6
      @TheOne_6 Год назад +3

      no thanks i don't want any saucy

    • @Damy-t4v
      @Damy-t4v 2 месяца назад +1

      can i have some saucy uwu

  • @lucinda_null
    @lucinda_null 2 года назад +750

    Today I was talking to friends about religion and tried to say “I used to be Catholic but now I’m non-denominational” and accidentally said “I used to be Catholic but now I’m Catholic”

    • @oddcrafter1270
      @oddcrafter1270 2 года назад +221

      "They won't let me leave!"

    • @punbug4721
      @punbug4721 2 года назад +132

      That sounds like being Catholic, but with extra steps.

    • @Iliadic
      @Iliadic 2 года назад +61

      It's hotel california

    • @genericname2747
      @genericname2747 2 года назад +77

      "I used to be catholic. I still am"

    • @PhoenixT70
      @PhoenixT70 Год назад +57

      - People in Europe after a major war, circa 1100 CE.

  • @Orangethemartian
    @Orangethemartian Год назад +71

    Tried saying “No worries” and “Sorry”, came out as “Noory scurries”. I have no idea what I had said until they questioned me. 😂😂

  • @seradunlap775
    @seradunlap775 2 года назад +779

    While exchanging my spoon for a fork at dinner, my mother asked why. I tried to say "I eat my eggs with a spoon" and "getting a fork" and ended up telling her, with a smile on my face, "I eat my forks"

    • @chirone_
      @chirone_ Год назад +63

      but what do the forks taste like?

    • @TAKTlmao
      @TAKTlmao Год назад +70

      ​@@chirone_ metal

    • @jackiele8311
      @jackiele8311 Год назад +19

      @TAKTImao mmmm I sure do love metal

    • @chirone_
      @chirone_ Год назад +15

      @@TAKTlmao mmmmmm tasty

    • @mr.lampshade
      @mr.lampshade Год назад +24

      I just said that out loud in an innocent voice. I can't fucking breathe anymore

  • @GeisemoOUTATIME
    @GeisemoOUTATIME 2 года назад +2474

    imagine driving with a friend and suddenly he just screams ''QUACK'' 💀

    • @sams_enfp
      @sams_enfp 2 года назад +106

      careful, there is a scammer here
      also SK-HULL EMOJIIIIIIIIIII

    • @filename2195
      @filename2195 2 года назад +45

      Soap

    • @Void_da_proxy
      @Void_da_proxy 2 года назад +19

      That cracked me up so hard ngl

    • @froge3609
      @froge3609 2 года назад +20

      @@filename2195 *s o a p*

    • @Darkran_240P
      @Darkran_240P 2 года назад +13

      @@filename2195 *S o a p .*

  • @vintagegirl31
    @vintagegirl31 Год назад +254

    Still remember the time when I was trying to explain something to my daughter and her friend but I kept stuttering and stumbling over my words. I tried to say "My tongue isn't working" and "I'm tripping over my words" at the same time and what actually came out was "My tongue is twerking." I've never seen two teens drop the the ground in a fit of laughter so fast.

  • @j.ul1ett
    @j.ul1ett 2 года назад +541

    one time i tried to say 'im a speedy boy' and 'im fast’ at the same time, it came out as 'im a feast' 💀

    • @TPNsBiggestFan
      @TPNsBiggestFan 2 года назад +66

      “im a speedy boy” is just a better version of “im fast”

    • @j.ul1ett
      @j.ul1ett 2 года назад +10

      @@TPNsBiggestFan ikr its like my favourite phrase

    • @maieen2665
      @maieen2665 2 года назад +92

      “I’m a feast” -> It’s like a step up from “I’m a snacc”.

    • @thequagestclodsire
      @thequagestclodsire 2 года назад +30

      SKULL EMOJI

    • @LarryTheTugaGamer1511
      @LarryTheTugaGamer1511 2 года назад +4

      @@thequagestclodsire 💀💀💀

  • @topicvideosguy
    @topicvideosguy 2 года назад +1166

    I was waiting tables at one of my old jobs and tried saying "enjoy your food" and "enjoy your meal" at the same time. I ended up saying "Enjoy your mood. Enjoy your... feel... uhhh... enjoyyourfood" before walking away embarrassed.

    • @8888BALL
      @8888BALL 2 года назад +165

      enjoy your feel... *winks and struts away*

    • @podokonnik1796
      @podokonnik1796 2 года назад +36

      it kinda sounds like a song lyric if you think about it

    • @AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes
      @AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes 2 года назад +16

      I thought it was gonna be “Enjoy your feel!” Lol

    • @usernametaken017
      @usernametaken017 2 года назад +25

      The fact that both words are synonymous makes this even better

    • @suffering9481
      @suffering9481 2 года назад +8

      Imagine if they were really depressed, and you told them to enjoy their mood lmao

  • @theDMassistant
    @theDMassistant Год назад +155

    During a game of D&D, one player was describing his character. He wanted to say "they were raised by snakes" and "they were raised by pythons" at the same time and just said "they were raised by bikes".

  • @WolfBitesAndSleepyGraves
    @WolfBitesAndSleepyGraves 2 года назад +279

    On my first day of work I tried to say "I'm sorry" and "hey no problem, Amy" it came out as "I'm a problem, Amy..."

    • @jonathangoodwin5609
      @jonathangoodwin5609 2 года назад +42

      What did Amy say to that?

    • @WolfBitesAndSleepyGraves
      @WolfBitesAndSleepyGraves 2 года назад +64

      @@jonathangoodwin5609 she just kinda gave me a confused look and walked away. I explained it later and we laughed about it.

    • @coollittlebinch4689
      @coollittlebinch4689 2 года назад +45

      At least u said it after you got hired, unlike that poor dude...
      "PLEASEURE TO BEAT U"

    • @ChiasmMarksTheSpot
      @ChiasmMarksTheSpot 2 года назад +5

      This is a great one

    • @Amexy-mr6lw
      @Amexy-mr6lw Год назад +1

      Relatable lmaao

  • @Art__E
    @Art__E 2 года назад +1677

    One time I was buying some snacks from a dollar store that I went to frequently.
    They always asked me about some program and if I wanted to donate so I expected them to ask about it again.
    Here’s what happened.
    Cashier: “alright your good to go, have a nice day!😊”
    Me: “Oh… No thank you”
    *Proceeds to walk out of store*

    • @Rauvi
      @Rauvi 2 года назад +337

      “Have a good day!”
      “No.”

    • @seedless5745
      @seedless5745 2 года назад +10

      @@Rauvi 😂

    • @deadturret4049
      @deadturret4049 2 года назад +170

      Takes "dont threaten me with a good time" to a new level

    • @grmpf
      @grmpf 2 года назад +180

      My mum did something similar once. At the store where we would usually do our grocery shopping, at the end, the cashier would always hold up the receipt and ask, "Do you want the receipt?", and my mum would almost always answer, "Don't need that, thank you!"
      This one time, it was a different cashier or some new store policy had changed the script or whatever, but now, it suddenly went like this:
      Cashier (holding up receipt): Have a nice day!
      My mum (cheerful tone): Don't need that, thank you!

    • @Art__E
      @Art__E 2 года назад +41

      @@grmpf curse memory habits

  • @ethanschannel
    @ethanschannel Год назад +75

    One time while eating dinner with my family, my mother wanted to ask me whether or not I want to eat with a chopstick. However, the words became jumbled and instead came out as *"Eat the chopstick."*

    • @TheOne_6
      @TheOne_6 Год назад +5

      (nom nom nom)

    • @AmyWall-mt4og
      @AmyWall-mt4og 7 месяцев назад +3

      Me: imagines how Matt would say it
      My brain: is that a threat?

  • @dotdotdot...176
    @dotdotdot...176 2 года назад +2567

    *"it's a B A N O O N"* took me out💀
    Just imagining some random yelling that in a public space and everyone else having zero context is just fricking hilarious. I like to think they said it exactly how Matt said it too, makes it even funnier somehow 💀

    • @arichartley8211
      @arichartley8211 2 года назад +125

      B A N O O N is probably one of the top funniest out-of-context words in history

    • @overdinky420
      @overdinky420 2 года назад +46

      This is why i crack up on all of these videos imagining people saying all these out of context things

    • @worldwartrisha3404
      @worldwartrisha3404 2 года назад +20

      that comment actually came from my friend lol

    • @Closemusic16
      @Closemusic16 2 года назад +31

      @@worldwartrisha3404 were you the one with the banoon

    • @poison.healer
      @poison.healer 2 года назад +23

      @@worldwartrisha3404 were you the owner of the sacred B A N O O N

  • @jaimecarter3988
    @jaimecarter3988 2 года назад +664

    this morning at work I was trying to explain to a girl where to find a certain book. between “the P section is very large” and “there’s a lot of books in the P section” I said,,, “there’s a lot of pee” while staring at her intensely

  • @heartofthewild680
    @heartofthewild680 Год назад +47

    I once tried to say “happy birthday” and “have a good night” at the same time, and what came out of my mouth was “happy good bird.” (It’s been two years and I still get teased for it)

  • @MarbleSodaPop
    @MarbleSodaPop 2 года назад +633

    I once tried to say "scoot over" and move over an inch" at the same time and accidentally said "move over a skinch" and now my family regularly uses skinch as a word meaning a little bit

    • @masoncrowley2777
      @masoncrowley2777 2 года назад +14

      I like that

    • @usernametaken017
      @usernametaken017 2 года назад +34

      Sounds like your average american measurement

    • @beautifulprincessoftheworld
      @beautifulprincessoftheworld 2 года назад +18

      honestly it sounds like a good describing word

    • @usernametaken017
      @usernametaken017 2 года назад +4

      @ChocolateIcecreamHater they did

    • @noth9617
      @noth9617 2 года назад +1

      It’s literally a word that means just that. 😂It makes sense because it is a real word. How many people who know English have you told this story to and they’ve just stared at you like “are you taking the piss?” But have just politely smiled and nodded?😅

  • @vanadeu
    @vanadeu 2 года назад +1180

    Earlier today someone apologized for taking a while to take a seat, I attempted to say "it's alright" and "no worries" at the same time. I said "it's all worries."

    • @thecarrot2456
      @thecarrot2456 2 года назад +44

      Nah you are now thr emo kid 💀

    • @mia.mor1023
      @mia.mor1023 2 года назад +39

      I DID THE SAME THING! I tried to say "All good" and "No worries" at the same time and just said "All worries!!" lmfao

    • @Window4503
      @Window4503 2 года назад +25

      Hey, if everything’s a worry, then nothing is!

    • @Archangel_sNest
      @Archangel_sNest 2 года назад +29

      Anxiety be like:

    • @broblerone413
      @broblerone413 2 года назад +1

      mood

  • @Aleksaasha
    @Aleksaasha 2 года назад +31

    I was at the store once and the cashier who also happens to be a friend of mine asked me how I was doing and I tried to say "I'm doing good today." and "I'm good, you?" at the same time and loudly said with upmost confidance "I'm doing YOU today." in front of several other custormers and her co-workers.

  • @ladyloldemort
    @ladyloldemort 2 года назад +254

    ah this brings back the memory of when a coworker tried to say "can you hold" and "can i put you on hold" at the same time and ended up asking the customer CAN I HOLD YOU

    • @hodgeelmwood8677
      @hodgeelmwood8677 Год назад +40

      I had a co-worker who once answered the phone with the dept name and then said "Can you help me?" instead of "Can I help you?"

    • @PirateLeota
      @PirateLeota Год назад +9

      @@hodgeelmwood8677 🤣🤣🤣

  • @maieen2665
    @maieen2665 2 года назад +1459

    The dreaded “Are You F*cking Sorry” phenomenon.
    Once I was trying on bras with my mom, and instead of saying “negativity,” I said “negatitity”. We laughed for a good five minutes.

    • @Ilikegeesee
      @Ilikegeesee 2 года назад +70

      This comment made me laugh for a good 5 minutes

    • @marevoid5720
      @marevoid5720 2 года назад +102

      in my head, i often think of words that end in 'ity' and replace them with titty
      for example communitity

    • @fleabaggins
      @fleabaggins 2 года назад +62

      I don’t know why but I expected it to say something along the lines of ‘mega-titty’

    • @lukasmarks6504
      @lukasmarks6504 2 года назад +27

      @@marevoid5720 Another fun thing is pronouncing -les endings of a word like in "Hercules". You'll never think of testicles the same again :D

    • @CoingamerFL
      @CoingamerFL 2 года назад +9

      negatititititititititititititity

  • @exquisitetoast3859
    @exquisitetoast3859 2 года назад +82

    So one time I accidentally bumped into someone named Avery, they said I'm sorry, to which I attempted to respond "I'm sorry" and "my fault entirely" and somehow said "soon Avery" and continued walking

  • @IKHEMexclamationmark
    @IKHEMexclamationmark 2 года назад +642

    I was once teaching my cousin how to play Minecraft, I made a little arena full of Vindicators for her. I was going to say "Careful, they'll swing their axe at you." I instead said "Careful, they'll swing their ass at you."

    • @zapx1239
      @zapx1239 2 года назад +105

      Well what if they do, how do i defend?

    • @StuffandThings_
      @StuffandThings_ 2 года назад +142

      @@zapx1239 Report them for sexually explicit content and get them banned from the game, of course

    • @AccSwtch50
      @AccSwtch50 2 года назад +22

      @@StuffandThings_ What if they use NCR (No chat reports)?

    • @StuffandThings_
      @StuffandThings_ 2 года назад

      @@AccSwtch50 Then its time to bring out the big guns and slap dat ass with your weapon of choice

    • @ashhunter9958
      @ashhunter9958 2 года назад +1

      @@AccSwtch50 idk just gtfo. (frick since im almost 13)

  • @awwwphooey
    @awwwphooey 2 года назад +704

    like last week this guy threw his locker door into me and after realizing his mistake, muttered “oh, my bad”.
    me, debating on whether saying “you’re good” or “you’re okay” i stared this poor man dead in the eye and proclaimed: “you’re gay.”

    • @AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes
      @AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes Год назад +171

      “Oh! My bad”
      “You’re gay”
      “What?”

    • @eliasmazhukin2009
      @eliasmazhukin2009 Год назад +88

      The gay ones are the funniest 😭😭😭

    • @myarmsrgone
      @myarmsrgone Год назад +160

      Being gay isn't your choice. It's mine, you're gay now

    • @naan000
      @naan000 Год назад +38

      "I know what you are"

    • @mr.lampshade
      @mr.lampshade Год назад

      ​@@myarmsrgoneSJSUGWRW5GSBWH2UW9ISDHBEGQHAHAJJAAHHAHAGAHSHS6SHSISJSJYSSHHSNAHSJSHAGAHHAGABSHGZAHGSHSHA O CANT BREtHEEEEEEE

  • @anishadaley6662
    @anishadaley6662 2 года назад +33

    Oh, another story - my friend and I were walking to our next class when two boys passed us. We heard one very enthusiastically yell, “I’m going to slurp up Adam’s arm in physics!!”
    We both took a couple seconds to process that before I asked… “did you hear that??” It still makes us laugh whenever we bring it up lol

    • @ItsLucy_GD
      @ItsLucy_GD 2 года назад +3

      Poor dude probably wanted to end his own existence after realizing what he said

    • @FewVidsJustComments
      @FewVidsJustComments Год назад +3

      What did he mean to say?

  • @buh8896
    @buh8896 2 года назад +270

    imagine your just a student learning to read with your teacher and you get a word right, your teacher hesitates for a second and just yells with excitement "GOOD GOD!"

  • @skookiecat_29
    @skookiecat_29 2 года назад +744

    I once accidentally punched my sister in the face cause she scared me, ended up yelling “are you sorry!?” I felt really weird for a split second until she yelled back “NO!” Then we both just laughed it off

    • @jennymarie0228
      @jennymarie0228 2 года назад +81

      Lemme guess: you tried to say "are you okay?" And "I'm sorry" at the same time

    • @CallumWilliams-bv3qi
      @CallumWilliams-bv3qi 2 года назад +22

      no, she asked her sister if she was sorry for scaring her

    • @LarryTheTugaGamer1511
      @LarryTheTugaGamer1511 Год назад +18

      Wholesome moment

    • @CallumWilliams-bv3qi
      @CallumWilliams-bv3qi Год назад +11

      @@LarryTheTugaGamer1511 very wholesome indeed!

    • @dampseeker
      @dampseeker Год назад +27

      maybe the real sorry is the sisters we punched along the way

  • @BluepurplecatGacha
    @BluepurplecatGacha Год назад +223

    One time, my mum tried to say “sweet pea” and “sweetness” at the same time. She ended up calling me “sweet penis” 😂

    • @fionamclary7631
      @fionamclary7631 Год назад +37

      Reminds me of the time when I was around 12-13 that my mom wished me "good night, poopy!" I think she was trying to say "peep," one of my family nicknames, but it somehow got horribly mangled.

    • @finleysgaming4076
      @finleysgaming4076 Год назад

      Sweet penis 💀💀

    • @jacoballwright3254
      @jacoballwright3254 Год назад +18

      That’s a good one. LMAO

    • @Blxe_Angel
      @Blxe_Angel Год назад

      LMFAO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @bogwife7942
      @bogwife7942 7 месяцев назад +9

      reminds me of the time i greeted my kitty by saying "hi, miss!" and my mom misheard me and thought i called her "penis" in a cutesy voice 😭😭😭

  • @Astrellex
    @Astrellex 2 года назад +123

    i often try to say “it doesn’t matter” and “i don’t care” at the same time and didn’t realize why my friends looked upset at me when i told them “i don’t matter” instead

  • @Cometstarlight
    @Cometstarlight 2 года назад +480

    Yikes, I remember this happening after I told a friend of mine in college that I was graduating that semester. He said, "Everyone's graduating and leaving me!" in a joking tone. I tried to say, "You won't be alone," and laugh, but instead what came out was, "Haha, you're gonna be alone!" He wouldn't let me live it down.

  • @sketchymoray
    @sketchymoray Год назад +52

    I once told my mom "my stiff is as back as a board" and we both had a "wait, what??" moment

    • @kfdaftsaeroblox
      @kfdaftsaeroblox Год назад +5

      😂'My back is as stiff as a board'

    • @AmyWall-mt4og
      @AmyWall-mt4og 7 месяцев назад +4

      Me, having my life, be thinking: "what's wrong there? It's a normal sentence"
      Before rereading it and realizing what it actually said.

  • @fleabaggins
    @fleabaggins 2 года назад +969

    I remember I was leaving a funeral and I remember one of my relatives, who was in tears by the way, said “I love you.” I tried to say, “I love you too.” It came out as “Yoo-Hoo!”
    I yelled ‘yoo-hoo’ at my crying grandmother, at my uncle’s funeral, and the only part of the after math I can remember was the entire church turning to look at me.
    I don’t think I’ll ever quite live that down, I swear to god, when I die and my life flashes before my eyes, if I grimace, you’ll know why.

    • @zdmacstudios
      @zdmacstudios 2 года назад +40

      💀

    • @maximodubs4189
      @maximodubs4189 2 года назад +22

      Yuhu

    • @St0rmcloudy
      @St0rmcloudy 2 года назад +23

      Yoo-hoo!

    • @beautifulprincessoftheworld
      @beautifulprincessoftheworld 2 года назад +129

      dont worry- at my great aunts funeral there was a singing portion and it was so bad that I made a little snicker after trying to keep it in, and it echoed. It was so embarrassing

    • @fleabaggins
      @fleabaggins 2 года назад +49

      @@beautifulprincessoftheworld oh my god you poor thing, that’s even worse

  • @beek.4860
    @beek.4860 2 года назад +522

    Whilst reading the Bill of Rights out loud in American History class, a friend of mine accidentally turned the 8th Amendment from a statement prohibiting excessive bail into a ban on "Excessive Balls."

    • @punbug4721
      @punbug4721 2 года назад +80

      A ban which has been broken many times, I'm sure.

    • @lucinda_null
      @lucinda_null 2 года назад +60

      SKHULLEMOGEE

    • @earthlingwithnoideas
      @earthlingwithnoideas 2 года назад +33

      excessive balls sounds like a kanye east lyric

    • @thedarklrd6714
      @thedarklrd6714 2 года назад +3

      Josuke from part 8, they're coming for ya

    • @seams4186
      @seams4186 2 года назад +2

      They're coming for me

  • @sevgiulker3203
    @sevgiulker3203 Год назад +52

    I was once giving my underclassmen how they did not need to make a relationship to be cool and ended up saying "fuck julio and romette"

    • @thelearningmethod
      @thelearningmethod Год назад +15

      Julio and Romette: the play that needs to exist 😂😂😂

    • @TheOne_6
      @TheOne_6 Год назад +1

      did cuki shoot tghen in the heart? to make loive/.

  • @PajamaCat4
    @PajamaCat4 2 года назад +156

    saying "are you okay" and "are you done" at the same time and saying "are you donkeh" like Shrek

  • @tristandaries1129
    @tristandaries1129 2 года назад +487

    Once, after I grew my hair out, my sister wanted to say “So how’s the long hair life going?”, but ended up somehow getting all the words correct, but the order wrong, and she tried like 5 times to say it correctly without breaking, so it came out as “How go hair long the life going the long hair going treat the long hair” etc for about a minute

    • @maxkiger9692
      @maxkiger9692 Год назад +68

      Big 'why do they call it oven' energy

    • @AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes
      @AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes Год назад +25

      Please tell me you responded “irl r/ihadastroke

    • @FewVidsJustComments
      @FewVidsJustComments Год назад +13

      Something like this has undoubtedly happened to me, I just can’t quite remember what with

    • @katnotkit
      @katnotkit Год назад +19

      same energy as the "give me eat orange me eat orange" monkey video

    • @catiguess1807
      @catiguess1807 Год назад +6

      YOURE IN A VIDEO

  • @nutmegdoesstuff1339
    @nutmegdoesstuff1339 2 года назад +22

    "Excuse me-"
    "No."
    (Refuses to elaborate and leaves)

  • @notanemovampire
    @notanemovampire 2 года назад +561

    A less extreme one, when I was 11, at volleyball they gave me a form for my parents to fill out. Me being polite I wanted to say “Thanks” and “Thank you” at the same time. I looked this woman dead in the eye, and proceeded to say “THANK” and walked off.

    • @notanemovampire
      @notanemovampire 2 года назад +8

      @CoolerCoolCool Coo pls- i could never

    • @aimoikonen
      @aimoikonen 2 года назад +10

      Reminds me of that one episode of The Office where Kevin abbreviates his sentences :D

    • @ali_m_
      @ali_m_ 2 года назад +15

      I sometimes just say thank purposefuly

    • @notanemovampire
      @notanemovampire 2 года назад +2

      @@aimoikonen lmaoo

    • @ali_m_
      @ali_m_ 2 года назад +1

      @Gray Just sounds funnier in my opinion

  • @totowolff8937
    @totowolff8937 2 года назад +357

    My best was during a job interview as a teen so I was pretty nervous and I tried to say I enjoy being “physically around” customers and it came out as “physically intimate” with customers. In a coffee shop. Somehow I got that job

  • @betafurret1503
    @betafurret1503 Год назад +39

    One time my show choir director was trying to say “you sit” and “you watch the show” at the same time and ended up saying to a room full of immature high school students: “you shit”

    • @WhiskeyJones-xy4cp
      @WhiskeyJones-xy4cp 5 месяцев назад

      I had an additional nurse come with my regular IV nurse as she was shadowing. The shadowing nurse’s impression of Sean Connery saying something about sitting turned into…well, shitting. I think she left Sean Connery at home after that

  • @aspookyghost7319
    @aspookyghost7319 2 года назад +386

    Can we please make “look at the wheat” a normal thing for people to say when they have good cards in a card game

  • @PrismaPup7
    @PrismaPup7 2 года назад +180

    Not quite the same thing, but a couple days ago I was walking in the cold with some friends and thought up this clever line in my head - "I wish there was a hat for my face." Unfortunately, being a sleep-deprived college student, I instead confidently declared, "I wish there was a face for my head." =_=

    • @LokkiRaccon_yt
      @LokkiRaccon_yt Год назад +7

      I do this kind of thing ALL THE TIME 😂

    • @elequira5467
      @elequira5467 Год назад +15

      oh man, one time my mom was teasing me and said “you have evil goblin teeth” so i, sleep deprived, tried to respond with “i don’t have goblin teeth” but what came out was “i have no teeth.” followed by staring directly at her for like 5 seconds questioning my life decisions before bursting into laughter

    • @z1lli0npawz
      @z1lli0npawz 11 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@elequira5467 to prove you have teeth right?

  • @Gore-Out-Starz
    @Gore-Out-Starz Год назад +43

    Not to long ago my mom asked me if her outfit for a fancy dinner looked ok and I tried to say “ it looks great” and “ it looks ok” looked her dead in the eye and said “ it looks gay” 💀

  • @dotdotdot...176
    @dotdotdot...176 2 года назад +174

    I once tried to say "no problem" and "no worries" to someone thanking me for giving them directions. Ended up saying "no prairie" and confidently walked away before realising what had come out of my mouth.

    • @calibricalypso
      @calibricalypso Год назад +8

      I don't know why this was the comment that broke me, but I genuinely laughed when I read it

    • @dotdotdot...176
      @dotdotdot...176 Год назад +8

      @@calibricalypso :) glad i made you laugh, seeing this reply made me smile on a really bad day

    • @calibricalypso
      @calibricalypso Год назад +7

      @@dotdotdot...176 Happy to hear that I helped! I don't know what made your day bad, but I'm always glad to be a glimmer of sun on a cloudy day. I hope tomorrow is better for you

  • @tacohead8543
    @tacohead8543 2 года назад +908

    Matt creates a sequel to a classic. This is gonna absolutely amazing!
    I'm still in denial about Yahoo Answers shutting down. Tomorrow I'm gonna go on Quora and pretend it's Yahoo answers.

    • @mfaizsyahmi
      @mfaizsyahmi 2 года назад +52

      Somebody should make a browser extension that makes Quora look like Yahoo Answers.

    • @pilferedserenity1570
      @pilferedserenity1570 2 года назад +31

      Don't mislead yourself, you won't get "Shat and fell back in it" there

    • @zo6679
      @zo6679 2 года назад +22

      yeah, there's some weirdoes on there, but you have to go looking under rocks and crevices like you're looking for rare snails, where in yahoo answers, they'd just be scuttling out in the open

    • @aclarke7486
      @aclarke7486 2 года назад +10

      I’d say the people who were on Yahoo Answers have moved to Quora, since I’ve seen some idiocy there. This very channel has a seven minute video on Quora questions about Shrek, in fact.

    • @lefthandedspanner
      @lefthandedspanner 2 года назад +2

      if you want to go really oldschool (as in, Usenet-old school), ask the question "how wuz hat putato plaed? did bil kulin tos uh putato at thu kuntestintz? tat wuld b a funi" and see what kind of reaction you get

  • @Fynchfire
    @Fynchfire Год назад +28

    Going with the theme of this video, my sister once wanted to say Pepper (the name of one of my pet rats) likes to be lazy but, she was thinking of something being boiled so she said "Pepper likes to be boiled" and I was like "EXcUSe Me?"

  • @jaykebird2go
    @jaykebird2go 2 года назад +150

    Back in my retail working days, I had two separate occasions were I was trying to say "You're right, I'm wrong", but it turned into "I'm right, you're wrong... no, I mean I'm right, you're wrong. No, wait! No, I mean... uh... I'm not right, you're not wrong!"

    • @plebisMaximus
      @plebisMaximus 2 года назад +39

      That's the alpha move. Just stick by your guns even when you're objectively wrong.

  • @lucyicanel
    @lucyicanel 2 года назад +142

    I was at a d&d session and we got like nothing done so there was a joke where whenever someone did something, they got to be in the doing things club. I did something and tried to say, "Can I join the people in the doing things club?" and ended up really excitedly yelling, "Can I be in the doing people club?"

    • @oddcrafter1270
      @oddcrafter1270 Год назад +26

      "How's your charisma?"

    • @Kinokoumori
      @Kinokoumori Год назад +14

      The Bard: "Fuck it, why not?"

    • @lucyicanel
      @lucyicanel Год назад +14

      @@Kinokoumori Our bard is in fact also in the doing people club as earlier that same session he was lying on an npc's bed, shirtless, in the french girls pose for over an hour waiting for the npc come in and then fucked the npc while the rest of us were fighting for our lives

    • @Kinokoumori
      @Kinokoumori Год назад

      @@lucyicanel Yep, sounds like our short King, Kairo. Damn Gnome bastard has at least half a dozen illegitimate hybrid children by now wondering where their father is...

    • @secretmeister
      @secretmeister Год назад +7

      @@lucyicanel reminds me of the time I told my entire characters backstory to one of the other characters while lounging in a couch, while up a flight of stairs two other party members were fighting an infinite stream of (I forgor the word, somewhere between ghoul and goblins) there to prevent them from going in a door that had no significance

  • @PrismaticVelocity
    @PrismaticVelocity 2 года назад +22

    I haven’t genuinely laughed at a video in literal years. But this series is something else because my dyslexic brain dose this crappy to me all the time. Please continue the series and I love it so dearly

  • @rowynsabree1726
    @rowynsabree1726 2 года назад +1694

    one time i was telling a person about when i got my ears pierced at a tattoo shop with a needle when i was like 8 and i tried to say “ i bawled my eyes out” and “i cried” and i almost said “i cried my balls out” 😭😭

  • @Arvacondria
    @Arvacondria 2 года назад +211

    once when i was younger i went to one of those places where you pick out a ceramic thing and paint it. the one i chose was a dragon that was meant to sit at the edge of your shelf. called a 'shelf sitter'
    accidentally told my parents i wanted the 'self shitter' instead. they didnt say anything about it. but it still haunts me

    • @calibricalypso
      @calibricalypso 2 года назад

      @purplakes Guess that means you're the "self shitter" they accidentally told their parents they wanted

    • @KL-hr2kj
      @KL-hr2kj 2 года назад +7

      My parents never would've let me live that down. My mom still tells the story of how I repeated "oh crap" the entire way home after she said it when she realized she had forgotten her sunglasses

    • @AmyWall-mt4og
      @AmyWall-mt4og 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@KL-hr2kj So, what, did your family just hear "oh crap" every 3 seconds?

  • @JennRighter
    @JennRighter 2 года назад +38

    One time when I was walking through my crowded work cafeteria I meant to say “it smells like burnt popcorn in here” but instead I said, loudly, “it smells like burnt cop porn in here!” I swear everyone got quiet. It was like the word porn just echoed.

    • @JennRighter
      @JennRighter 6 месяцев назад +6

      Of note, I was a supervisor there for 11 years lol. And I was walking with another supervisor and he whispered “just keep walking”.

  • @Delta-V-Heavy
    @Delta-V-Heavy 2 года назад +77

    I felt so bad for the NASA commentator for the Artemis 1 launch coverage. He stumbled over his words at the worst possible moment (solid rocket booster ignition and liftoff) and yelled something like "BOOSTERS IGNINJASH!"
    Not that I blame him; it was a very emotional moment for all involved. I probably would've gotten tongue tied too.

    • @Kid_Cat64
      @Kid_Cat64 Год назад +6

      Igninjash sounds like a Pokemon.

    • @lucasgreer1736
      @lucasgreer1736 Год назад +2

      @@Kid_Cat64 i mean ninjask exists

  • @Iluvpie6
    @Iluvpie6 2 года назад +167

    It’s so unsettling to me that everyone seems to remember incidents where THEY are the ones to trip over words, but can never remember when OTHER people do it. It seems like such a universal experience, but I too can only remember when I’ve been the one to misspeak. I can’t recall a single incident where I’ve heard someone else do something like this.

    • @Thinginator
      @Thinginator 2 года назад +39

      Just remember, if you only ever remember embarrassing things you’ve said but not embarrassing things other people said, everyone else feels the same way. Because you’re the only person who’s ever done anything memorably embarrassing ever, and everyone else thinks about those embarrassing things you did constantly.

    • @cyberlemon9840
      @cyberlemon9840 2 года назад +3

      I remember every single time my sister misspeaks like if they were the answers to an exam, but I don't remember any time I have even though they are probably just as numerous. I've just accepted that I speakn't sometimes.

    • @aliciam6145
      @aliciam6145 2 года назад +4

      but then you always remember when other people make typos. or at least I do

    • @Monochrome2004
      @Monochrome2004 2 года назад +6

      i remember a time a friend mispoke 'polar' as 'plar' and another time he mispoke 'porcelain' as 'porcy' which actually became my friend group's shortened version for porcelain so we would just go around using the term porcy instead of porcelain and confusing literally everybody who heard us

    • @creepypastalover5001
      @creepypastalover5001 2 года назад +4

      My mom once made chicken nuggets for dinner and called them “Children Nuggets” Needless to say, the room full of 18 and under kids were laughing hysterically 😂😂😂 (It still pops up from time to time when we have nuggets!(mainly cuz of me lol))

  • @country.germany
    @country.germany 2 года назад +18

    Once i tried to say "I'm sorry" and " You'll be okay" at the same time when my friend was sad. I blurted out " *ARE YOU SORRY?* " they backed away slowly and then ran home

  • @huldanoren951
    @huldanoren951 2 года назад +342

    I have waited for this sequel. This is gonna be good
    Edit: Recently this Halloween, my mom tried to say "Bus eller Godis", Swedish for trick or treat, and instead ended up saying "Gos eller Budis". Gos meaning cuddle.

  • @RACINGUS95
    @RACINGUS95 2 года назад +461

    One time I opened the oven, and all the heat inside flew out into my face. I tried to say “I just got blasted in the face by warmness” and “I just got blasted in the face by heat” at the same time, and ended up yelling in front of my family “ah! I just got blasted in the face by wheat!”

    • @sabotower1792
      @sabotower1792 2 года назад +83

      LOOK AT THE WHEEAATT

    • @hot_soup4319
      @hot_soup4319 2 года назад +32

      Itd make sense if you were baking bread at the time

    • @higherpower2164
      @higherpower2164 2 года назад +5

      @sabotower was this u in the vid if so I haven't laughed that hard at somthing in a while thank u 🤣

    • @sabotower1792
      @sabotower1792 2 года назад +9

      @@higherpower2164 yah it was me, glad you enjoyed my brainfart

    • @PonandCon9025
      @PonandCon9025 2 года назад +13

      Wheat is becoming more and more powerful

  • @vanhii
    @vanhii Год назад +17

    I remember asking my friend if the pen she was using was a gel pen and she wanted to say no it's a ball pen but she ended up saying "no it's a bell pon"😂

  • @Alcor-wf8gc
    @Alcor-wf8gc 2 года назад +104

    One time I was talking to my partner and somehow we got on the subject of the movie Anastasia, he ended up saying something about how he liked the movie and I tried to say "that's nice" and "great" whilst making a mental note to watch that movie with him at some point. It came out as "That's a rice grate."

    • @kfcccccxc
      @kfcccccxc 2 года назад +10

      I thought it was a pasta grate 🤷‍♀

  • @BonesX-ing
    @BonesX-ing 2 года назад +185

    The "gargle shits" followed by blowing air at some poor dad's face actually made me pee a little

  • @jacoballwright3254
    @jacoballwright3254 Год назад +15

    Tried to once tell the time to someone, by saying ‘it’s half seven’ and ‘it’s seven thirty’ and came up with ‘IT’S HEAVEN, SIR’. Not my finest moment…

    • @TheOne_6
      @TheOne_6 Год назад +2

      what a time to be alive!

    • @AmyWall-mt4og
      @AmyWall-mt4og 7 месяцев назад +2

      Me laughing so much that I thought you typed "not my final moment"

  • @Roperational_YT
    @Roperational_YT 2 года назад +197

    One time my friend said that their mom was in the hospital, I tried to say “Oh I’m sorry” and “Is she okay?”
    and just said “Oh, I’m okay.”

  • @sappychan
    @sappychan 2 года назад +318

    I love these so much, they make me laugh so much (and not feel so bad about my own brain doing this all the time).
    One time, my dog was trying to get my leftovers from me after I'd gone out to eat. So I was going to tell him to "get" or "shoo," so naturally I, a child at the time, told my dog to "SHIT!"
    Another time, I was counting something, and the phone rang. When I answered the phone, instead of saying something normal like "hello" I said, "One."

    • @katierasburn9571
      @katierasburn9571 2 года назад +27

      oh my god i do this all the time toooo. My mouth just works faster than my brain and before know it i've just blurted out some nonsensical gibberish - or worse something that does make sense but wasn't what i wanted to say at all! At least when its gibberish i can't accidentally offend anyone 🙈

    • @jester_killjoy
      @jester_killjoy 2 года назад +76

      that is oddly terrifying wtf imagine calling someone and all you hear when they pick up is "one"

    • @imaneclair4836
      @imaneclair4836 2 года назад +48

      i feel u on the counting thing, one time i was counting smth but also talking to my friend and i said “yeah i agree…seven”

    • @sidelingknave5
      @sidelingknave5 2 года назад +20

      That's when you should've started counting the seconds the call went on, just roll with it and terrify the person on the other end.

    • @gaysarahk
      @gaysarahk 2 года назад +6

      This whole video reminds me of the time a cute girl I knew waved at me while I was holding something, so I needed to do a "partial" wave back. I tried using my first two fingers and my last three at the same time, and ended up flipping her off. 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

  • @mrmrwayne9850
    @mrmrwayne9850 2 года назад +50

    One time I was handing a book to a classmate and I tried to say “Here you go” and “Excuse me” and ending up telling my friend “Hersheys?” 💀

  • @bluemoon4891
    @bluemoon4891 2 года назад +754

    when I was a bit younger, I remember that I tried to tell my sisters something about me waking up fast that morning. I tried to say the word “eyeballs” in the sentence but ended up saying “i bonked my balls open” my sisters and I almost died from laughing.

  • @Ash_Carnelian
    @Ash_Carnelian 2 года назад +218

    I once had my brain shut down while trying to ask my grandpa to pick up some kettlecorn popcorn from the store. I ended up asking "Can you get some kettlepop cop porn?" And now I hate everything 💀

    • @TheAndi073
      @TheAndi073 Год назад +18

      Did you get what you asked for though? ^^

    • @Ash_Carnelian
      @Ash_Carnelian Год назад +33

      @@TheAndi073 Yes. But it tasted like regret.

    • @TheAndi073
      @TheAndi073 Год назад +14

      @@Ash_Carnelian Ah, the best flavour

    • @michaelhorton8489
      @michaelhorton8489 Год назад +10

      Grandpa: Kettlepop What?

    • @NickKSings
      @NickKSings 10 месяцев назад

      Kettlepop cop ⬛️🟧​@@michaelhorton8489

  • @oren1305
    @oren1305 Год назад +6

    It's become slightly infamous at my work, where I was closing down the shop due to a storm, and the last customer was leaving and I tried to call out, "Stay safe!" But my squirrel brain yelled out, "Stay shlafe!!!!", and the man chuckled all the way out.... 🙌

  • @goldenraven7721
    @goldenraven7721 2 года назад +79

    Once, playing a game with my friend, I tried to tell her, "I've got your back!" and "I saved your ass!" simultaneously and instead shouted "I got your ass!"

    • @ItsLucy_GD
      @ItsLucy_GD 2 года назад +9

      Still makes sense tho

  • @X.x.SwagMaster420.x.X
    @X.x.SwagMaster420.x.X 2 года назад +147

    I tried to say "Hey, what's up?" and "Hey, what's going on?" at the same time and ended up saying "Hey what's going up". The weird part is that I was talking to a soap dispenser that's shaped like a snail.

    • @emperorhaya5351
      @emperorhaya5351 2 года назад +23

      r/brandnewsentence

    • @justpuka1754
      @justpuka1754 2 года назад +8

      Happened to me too and then i giggled to myself he hard part is When someone hear you laugh and you have to explain i always say "Oh i remembered joke" ... Once someone asked me what joke and i said idk and then we laughed....

    • @ce7624
      @ce7624 Год назад +2

      Gas prices, for one. 🤣

    • @haveagoodmourning
      @haveagoodmourning Год назад +1

      I've been wanting one of those soap dispensers. Do they work alright?

    • @blakekeating6495
      @blakekeating6495 Год назад

      story of my life

  • @topazwolf08
    @topazwolf08 Год назад +20

    Today I hit my pinky on something and I tried to say “ow my pinky” and “ow my finger” at the same time and I ended up saying “ow my finky”. It immediately sent me into a laughing fit

  • @soupycat1011
    @soupycat1011 2 года назад +111

    I still think about the time I served a customer (who had four really small screaming kids) and I was thinking about something else whilst I served her. I was supposed to say “have a good day” but I was thinking about my idea and somehow, as she was dragging her screaming kids out of the shop I said in a cheerful tone “have a good idea!”. I have never wanted to die more

  • @Baer99Z
    @Baer99Z 2 года назад +186

    Once as a kid I was making tiny boats (to put on puddles) out of egg cartons with a friend, and when my Dad asked why there were egg cartons on the back porch I tried to say "we were making boats outside" but my brain just skipped a beat and then flatlined and I said "we were making out...side boats" and then I just stared at my Dad and we went our separate ways.

  • @lucesca
    @lucesca Год назад +7

    Once I tried to say “Can I wash my hands in your bathroom?” to a coffee shop worker but it came out as, “Can I wash your hands in my bathroom?”
    I was with a friend and they haven’t let me live it down

  • @LichenJuice
    @LichenJuice 2 года назад +113

    one time my sister wouldn't stop talking at dinner and it started getting on my nerves, so i tried to say "shut your mouth" and "eat your food" at the same time and what came out was "eat your mouth"

    • @chirone_
      @chirone_ Год назад +23

      the other way around still would've been "shut your food" 🤣

    • @AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes
      @AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes Год назад +8

      @@chirone_ now I don’t know what’s funnier

  • @TMK411
    @TMK411 2 года назад +272

    Here’s an idea, walking in on people out of context or saying something out of context as someone walks on, I’ll start: one time in high school me and a class mate were discussing a story idea (my school did this thing where you wrote stories in the morning based on a single image, wasn’t mandatory we just decided to do it that day) and i thought of a line so I ended up saying “hey those shoes look suspiciously like water buffalo” as another classmate of mine walked in…

    • @random_user828
      @random_user828 2 года назад +99

      One time in 5th grade or something we were looking at visual poems, reading them out loud, as a class. One of them only consisted of "ebb" (German "Ebbe") and "flow". Some other kids peeked inside searching for a room; and without any context faced a whole class of students monotonously chanting "Ebbe Ebbe Ebbe Ebbe" while staring straight into their eyes.

    • @TMK411
      @TMK411 2 года назад +34

      @@random_user828 that is genuinely hilarious

    • @ecirpeniale
      @ecirpeniale 2 года назад +55

      a couple months ago my chorus class played a game where one person would hide an object somewhere in the room while another person waited outside. when the other person came in, they would walk around the room looking for the object and we would all sing higher when they were closer to it, sort of like a singing version of hot and cold. one day we when we were playing this game the person who was looking for the object was really close to it but was looking everywhere except where it actually was. while this was going on, some girl came in to eat lunch and walked in on us screaming at the top of our lungs.

    • @StuffandThings_
      @StuffandThings_ 2 года назад +23

      @@random_user828 At that point you just gotta go with the flow and join in

    • @Racc00nKing
      @Racc00nKing 2 года назад +29

      One time I was describing a story I was writing to a friend was going to say ‘cannibalistic comedy’ and as I was saying cannibalistic I walked by my dean.. He was so confused lmao

  • @THE_SHERLOCK_HOLMES
    @THE_SHERLOCK_HOLMES Год назад +10

    I once tried to say " I hope you pass" and "I hope you have this" and ended up saying "I hope you ace pass." To my friend who had an exam first lesson.

  • @bekyjewell
    @bekyjewell 2 года назад +257

    My aunt was at a formal event where the discussion had turned to someone passing away. The room went silent, and she went to break it with either "What a pity" or "What a shame..." Landed on "WHAT A SHITTY."

    • @liengandriod55
      @liengandriod55 Год назад +17

      So it got even more quiet, right?

    • @michaelhorton8489
      @michaelhorton8489 Год назад +8

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @MDreamerIsBi
      @MDreamerIsBi Год назад +8

      It still works, doesn't it?

  • @leirawhitehart1236
    @leirawhitehart1236 2 года назад +307

    Mom: "What do you want cat?"
    (The cat was meowing)
    Me: "I think she's afraid I might eat her."
    Mom: "What?"
    Me: "What?"
    I meant to say, "I think she wants me to feed her", but I think whatever I was watching on TV at the time jumbled up my brain, and I ended up saying something _way more_ disturbing than I ever meant it to be. ^^;

    • @ChiasmMarksTheSpot
      @ChiasmMarksTheSpot 2 года назад +21

      I'm dead. This was fabulous.

    • @jade.g07
      @jade.g07 2 года назад +14

      Noo cat you gotta run this person's gonna eat you 😭😭

    • @boorango122
      @boorango122 2 года назад +4

      I cannot breathe! Lmao!

    • @AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes
      @AnEffingPinkCatThatBreathes Год назад

      Jesus Christ this might be one of the best comments I’ve read here

    • @eirdonne_
      @eirdonne_ 3 месяца назад +1

      theyre eating the dogs
      theyre eating the cats
      prophetic

  • @PrincessJediLantern
    @PrincessJediLantern Год назад +34

    When my mom was in college, studying to be a journalist, one of her peers tried to say “fasten your seatbelt” and “buckle up” at the same time, and it came out as “fuckle up”.

  • @katierasburn9571
    @katierasburn9571 2 года назад +69

    god these make me laugh harder than anything because i can really imagine my own daft self saying something like this, as i regularly tell patients to take their shocks and sues off. And there was a one time i told a patient "just shut up there :)" instead of "just shut the door there" and i have never apologised more profusely ohmygoddddd

  • @anishadaley6662
    @anishadaley6662 2 года назад +10

    My mom and I were in the drive through for Chick-Fil-A, and she rolled down the window and deadpan asked the order taker “do you sell.. chicken sandwiches here?”
    The worker was trying sooo hard to keep a straight face lol

    • @Brass319
      @Brass319 6 месяцев назад +1

      if I were the worker I would just say "no but if you order a chicken patty we'll throw it on a bun for absolutely free"

  • @RoseFloofer
    @RoseFloofer 2 года назад +357

    My mom is very dyslexic and has said numerous funny things. Once when trying to tell me to grab corn pops at the grocery store she told me to get some "Porn cops" which was very embarrassing to hear next to the old folks next to us at walmart.

    • @RealestPerson.
      @RealestPerson. 2 года назад

      Did you end up getting the porn cops?

    • @starlittardis2049
      @starlittardis2049 2 года назад +77

      As a kid, I meant to ask for a 'lemon curd tart' (a kind of sweet pastry) and instead asked for a 'lemon turd cart'.

    • @muttthingy9908
      @muttthingy9908 2 года назад +13

      @@starlittardis2049 this actually made me cry 😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂

    • @-..l
      @-..l 2 года назад +1

      @@starlittardis2049 So, did you get the lemon turd cart that you asked for?

    • @BeanKally
      @BeanKally 2 года назад +12

      @@starlittardis2049 my friend was trying to show me a drawing she made, she tried to say “horse” and “pony” at the same time
      Guess what came out of her mouth

  • @atsunome
    @atsunome 2 года назад +32

    My father was trying to say “I’ll be done shortly” and “I’ll be done soon” at the same time, ended up saying “I’ll be done, shoe.”

  • @potatopatatotomatotamato
    @potatopatatotomatotamato 11 месяцев назад +7

    In one of my theater performances someone tried to say “shivers” and “jitters” at the same time and accidentally said “it gave me the shitters” WITH AN AUDIENCE OF PARENTS AND CHILDREN 😭

  • @sarah44_equ
    @sarah44_equ 2 года назад +134

    Yesterday I was at the mall and accidentally took someone's bag instead of mine and they were like "oh it happens it's ok" and I tried to both laugh and say "yeah sorry" at the same time and it came out with a wheezing "yhooos"

    • @DonovanLaGrange
      @DonovanLaGrange Год назад +15

      why do I feel like yhooos should and probably will become a part of my everyday vocabulary

    • @ChaosCorrupt3d
      @ChaosCorrupt3d Год назад +9

      I’m gonna wheeze at this for the next few hours hold up-

    • @TheOne_6
      @TheOne_6 Год назад +1

      yhhhhhoos (how to pronounce)

    • @z1lli0npawz
      @z1lli0npawz 11 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@TheOne_6YEH-hhehhhOOOOs

  • @delta6797
    @delta6797 2 года назад +140

    I was reading the directions of an assignment out loud, tried to say “time” but my eyes were on “city” which was on the next line down…ended up saying “Titty” with my mother sitting across the table from me. The cherry on top was her scandalized face

    • @murdocpissingcompilation
      @murdocpissingcompilation 2 года назад +4

      was it like you had done something morally vile, or as though you had failed a test?

    • @delta6797
      @delta6797 2 года назад +13

      @@murdocpissingcompilation morally vile at first but then she cracked up at my frantic apologizing

    • @murdocpissingcompilation
      @murdocpissingcompilation 2 года назад +5

      @@delta6797 godly. thank you for your contribution to society

    • @delta6797
      @delta6797 2 года назад +3

      @@murdocpissingcompilation youre welcome :)