your thumbnail's image HAS NOTHING to do with the TOPIC of your video. Either you are Gracious or you are not.. stop being passive aggressive. Remove Melania from you r thumbnails.. She is both Intelligent and Classy. You may not like Trump but stop throwing "shade" while claiming to be "elegant and classy"
German here, but living in the south of France. My favorite winemaker says otherwise. He is adamant I should hold my glass of white or rosé (so the wines which are cooled) by the stem. Not only at the tasting, but also at dinner. Otherwise my warm hands would alter the temperature of the wine he took a lot of care to maintain. The other rules are similar to what I learned in Germany with the exception of the forks and spoons being laid upside down. Interesting video, merci beaucoup!
Whenever I have to handle a glass with a stem, I’ll hold it by the stem-even if there’s only water inside the glass! Otherwise why should glass blowers even bother making those stems? 😂 if holding by the cup is about “not looking pretentious”, then people should drink their wine in regular, basic cups.
Well, if you're sitting at a table you won't hold your glass long enough to warm the wine as you put it down after just a sip of it and you hold it just with the tip of 3 fingers (not the whole hand 🙂). So you don't need to hold it by the stem. However, if you have to keep your glass in your hand (e.g. cocktail party) then obviously you hold cold wine glasses by the stem (White, rosé, champagne et autres mousseux).
German here, having lived in many countries. The rudest people in my home was a French noble couple, neighbours I had invited. They criticised everything I did as wrong and called it Spanish court rules. I was not contradicting them but my thoughts were that French were peasants until Italian manners were introduced!
@leamubiuI fully agree that if a stem is part of the glass design, it’s strange not to hold it by the stem. But maybe it’s a French versus German thing, as I am also German.
Growing up on Cape Cod, Massachusetts in USA my mom had us elegantly spooning Campbell's "tomaaato" soup with the reverse tilt as early as toddlers, lol...from our lowly shack (she was the last generation that grew up with money 🤣 - but for goodness sake let's not speak about money!)
@zopizopi5054 Yes, that's the way we are taught in England. I was told that, if we accidentally tipped the plate too far, it would spill in the table and not in our lap!
I am daughter of sommelier here. And I have been involved with wine world almost half of my life. As far as I know the screw tops are now used even on good quality wines as well.
@anastasiyasydorenko I really doubt that a few fingers in the time of seconds you hold a glass to have a sip would really warm up your wine which is served a little cold.
@ But you drink French wine in France, and the vast majority of wines still use cork. If French wineries switched to screw tops, the hosts and hostesses would use them. There's nothing particular about the cork that makes the wine better. It's just an esthetic and tactile experience. A nice experience in my opinion, but not strictly necessary to have a good glass of wine. I don't know any French people who would lie and say they have their own wine production.
I am from Britain and have lived in Italy for over 40 years plus I have spent much time in France. Table manners at the level you show are remarkably similar. What is also so important is educating children from an early age how to behave both at home and in a restaurant
So true. Plus no kids menus. Generally they are so unhealthy. Much better an adult dish but a smaller helping. My granddaughter is only 5 but for a year or so one of her favourite dishes is spaghetti alle vongole (clams).
Hello, I am London girl, living more than 55 years in Switzerland. The table manners we were taught were similar, except for some changes such as turning the forks and spoons over. I don't remember teabags in those days.andmother of adult grandchildren, I often get laughted at (jokingly) for expressing my preferences at the table i.e. manners. My mother being from Florence was not a Champagne drinker but my parents drank good Italian wine. In additional to all of this, the children were only allowed to speak when spoken to. There are many countries who have exquisite table manners..
@solangelauthier2381 Could it be that the nanny or the poor immigrant may have manners but their manners are different from yours? Since you are the employer, maybe you should train them in his/her first week of employment. Or, should I say, it is the employer's responsibility to teach the newcomer how things are done in your country. Remember, in some countries, they eat meals with their hands. I watched in awe how those people eat their food with grace. I bet you can't do it with grace the way they do it. So, please broaden your mind. France is not the only country in the world. There are hundreds more countries and billions more people out there.
Brilliant when you think of it. Melania defenders came to make sure of no offense and her haters came to bask. Truly united for a nano second. 😁 Clever Girl. 🗼
@melissabrown9257 This is my message to the content creator and you should read it for yourself as well " your thumbnail's image HAS NOTHING to do with the TOPIC of your video. Either you are Gracious or you are not.. stop being passive aggressive. Remove Melania from you r thumbnails.. She is both Intelligent and Classy. You may not like Trump but stop throwing "shade" while claiming to be "elegant and classy"
@blorac9869 not so clever.. you are reading too much into it.. The thumbnail image has nothing to do with the topic of her video - It is called CLICK BAIT
1. White wine: always hold the glass on the stem, you don't want to warm up the wine. 2. If you are having both, white and red wine, white should be drunken first as it is lighter in taste. It also depends on what you are eating to pair it correctly. Sparkling wine or champagne for the starter, dessert wine after the dinner, with the dessert. 3. You clean your mouth with the serviette always before you drink. 4. A soup plate you tint away from you so that you don't pour the content on you. Those table manners shown in the video are universal throughout Europe. You don't need to grow up in a castle to know them. An average middle class person knows them. Even during communist Czechoslovakia we were tough these manners latest in the classical dance classes which almost every middle school student attended. If not sooner by our parents. Otherwise a nice introductory video.
@AmericanThoughts1776 It depends. We really need to think about, that those are our cultural circle manners but different cultures, different manners and we are also awkward at other cultures dining manners. Important is to observe if one is unsure, to be polite and to take ones own failures with humour 😊
@solangelauthier2381 1. As of the white or red wine choice I wrote it also from the position of the host, how to offer and serve correctly. 2. Whether you call desert part of the dinner or not is not important, but you shouldn't serve desert wine before. Again position of the host. 3. Whether you offer cognac or something else depends on your connection with alcohol and what is typical for your country /region /family etc. 4. Soup plate - you're not supposed to pour the soup on you, still this rule exists. 5. Whipping your mouth before drinking - you always do, since it can still be slightly dirty from the food, regardless how hard you try. As of the last two points I'm sticking with the rules presented by a former chief of the diplomatic protocol and adviser of the Czech president Václav Havel, Mr. Ladislav Spacek. He's is on this matter a higher authority to me and I shall stay with his advice. On the other hand I have also heard that you shouldn't tilt your plate at all and simply leave rest of the soup on the plate at really official occasions.
@LuciDomino Thanks for mentioning this: "You clean your mouth with the serviette always before you drink." I almost cringed when she didn't use the serviette before drinking :D - but the video in general is great, and as you say... the manners quite universal if France, Italy, Germany, Austria... very similiar or even the same.
I am 13th generation American, so perhaps not a "typical modern American", but with a few very subtle variations, these are the table manners I was taught by my grandmother. Good manners never go out of style, but the most important "manners" are consideration for one's companions, and the willingness to gracefully put them at ease, even if that might entail bending the code a bit.
I didn’t quite understand what you meant by “ not a typical modern American”. If you are a 13th generation US citizen ( assuming not a Native American), then already your blood line has amalgamated many times over these at least 12 generations, through so many sets of great great……….grand parents!
@malihagarden7062probably a reference to a family of colonial lineage, possibly upper class even then if not now from wealth built over time. Many of the traditions were direct from England, France, etc. and, for some of those families, the idea of maintaining some of that tradition generation to generation is more observable than for the average Joe. Source: I lived in Boston for a long while and had close friends like this, some from the South too. Generally I just keep it short and call them WASPs. Idk what the equivalent is in the South…UVA alum? jk 😂 Rarely refer to this in London now but I suppose I’d just say “blue blood” as a catch all
I had grandparents from Austria and Holland. Table manners were of the utmost importance at their homes. I appreciate their teachings. It was something that has carried me through my life. I always notice someone with impeccable table manners. It is something that seems to be lost these days.
I really like this video. As someone from a European background, this is a great reminder of eating etiquette. I especially like the habit of having coffee/tea in the living room, after the desert. It is a welcome time to stand and stretch the legs, and an opportunity to change or continue the conversation.
In my European country, according to eating etiquette, you would finish the meal, at the table, with desert and tea or coffee, and perhaps an avec, with the desert. There could of course be coffee afterwards as well, but, the main cup goes with the desert. Let's not make the mistake that Americans make on the regular - which is to consider Europe one single culture. I am happy to be a European, I do feel such an identity, but I am also acutely aware of the great differences between European cultures. Let's celebrate them, instead of pretending we are all the same. We are *not*.
The French (or European) way is to hold the knife in the right hand when cutting food and using the left hand for the fork, WITHOUT SWITCHING the fork to the right hand after cutting in the way Americans do. The knife stays in the right hand until the course is finished. When having a meal that is one way to tell a European from an American as it is an ingrained habit.
I lived in France 14 yrs with my husband and an now a French national and that’s the only way I eat now - American food is basically the same across the board no matter what region you go to - oysters are awful in the US they cut them out and put them back in the shell, they are not firm and they have no taste - I remember eating fresh oysters by the sea in Normandie near the Mont Saint Michelle so beautiful
I was taught this too by my family, but I often hold them opposite because I'm left handed. 😅 Usually my fork is upside down (tines facing downward) in my right hand and the knife is held in the left for manoeuvring and pushing softer food onto the fork (no shoveling!). So if anything, I give away that I'm left handed and I didn't have to go through the correction my grandfather did for superstitious reasons.
@ Apparently you are an exception to the rule. I am European (now American), but my family always ate with knife in the right hand and fork in the left, and so did everyone else I knew. I now eat American style because it has become more comfortable for me.
This is a class thing. My grandfather was a peasant from Italy. When our extended family got together, we never had matching dinner plates and only a knife, fork for each. Spoons were saved for desert or coffee. We drank either homemade or dry red jug wine in stemless water glasses. Humble settings. We grew up in the suburbs of Buffalo and were the only family that we knew who drank wine, except for another Italian family down the street.
(German here) No, it is not imho. The table rules shown in the video are just the very basics, and they seem to be standard throughout Europe with very little variation. My parents were definitely not "upper class" or "new rich" or sophisticated in any way. One of my grandfathers had worked as an accountant, my other grandfather was a carpenter, and his wife (my grandma) had a background of farmers and railway workers. Everything shown in the video was already a habit for my sister and me before we even started elementary school. I'm in my mid-50s today, and it has helped me a lot in life to have internalized it so early on. This is my table manners every day, even when I'm eating alone at home. It's so nice not to have to think about it when you're invited to formal occasions-you can then just enjoy such events (the conversation and the food) in complete relaxation. I find it very interesting that some viewers with a US-American background seem to feel somewhat offended by the video.
@manuelbreuer7074 I'm from New Zealand with English grandmother and great grandmother - definitely not upper class either but they also knew the value of good table manners. This video is also quite similar to what I learned as a child. Less cutlery (not so many courses) but one difference is that I was taught to spoon soup from the far side of the bowl and away from me. My father said this is to avoid spillage on clothing; I still do this. Does this happen in Europe at all?
@ I think you're right about some Americans being offended by too many manners. Most of us are taught more or less what is presented here, but for some people, there's still a discomfort in what they perceive to be excessive ceremony and protocol. Some Americans think the only really important manners are things like not chewing with your mouth open, eating with your elbows on the table or reaching across the table to get something--things that directly affect others. Other things are left to personal choice--things like which glass or fork to use. I guess they're right in a way, but I'm a stickler for manners personally.
@ I wasn’t making a point about being offended by elite etiquette. I was just saying that it’s a class thing. In the famous book, “The millionaire next door” (Back when a million dollars was a lot of money), the average American millionaire ate on paper plates, bought used cars and bought clothes at thrift stores. I personally enjoy nice food and wine, but, you get the point. Elite etiquette in the US is largely an urban elite thing. You are correct that common people in the US pass on just a few basic behaviors. Elites in urban US punch down on “low culture” (MAGA type people, that used to be the working class DEms) but praise low black culture. So. The US is a mixed bag on this issue.
I am British, and was twice an exchange student in France as a teenager. I noticed that if someone left the table for any reason, they placed their napkin on the back or their chair, never on the table unless they wanted to signify that they were finished. :) Great information here, merci !
I was taught to put it on the seat of the chair if you get up during the meal. This seems the best thing to do because no one will have to look at it. The back of the seat seems strange to me. Why display the napkin you're using for everyone to see?
You should never hang your napkin in the back of a chair like a flag! Nobody wants to look at your used napkin as they continue to eat. If you need to leave the table, you should place your napkin on the seat of your chair to signify to wait staff that you will be returning and are not finished eating. Just loosely fold it so it looks neat, but do don't refold it to look as it's when you sat down. And don't wad it up in a ball. At the end of the meal, loosely fold the napkin and place it to the left of the plate.
Very interesting! Thank you! As a seasoned wine professional, former ***Michelin sommelier and MW candidate (writing under my husband's profile), I have to convey that I was surprised by the holding by the bowl rule. I train our staff (in the US, although I am European) to never hold wines by the bowl in order to not leave the fingerprints and not change the wine temperature, plus have more agility with the glass. These are also rules of the Court of Master Sommeliers. It is entirely possible that with a thick and textured/cut glass like those on the video, fingerprints or temperature change would be negligible. It is also possible, that what is considered a well mannered behavior in one culture is looked down upon as rude in another. I am willing to accept that this is the way French aristocracy drinks wine, but why then choose a video thumbnail of a woman in America holding it in a very culturally appropriate/correct way in that culture, is being crossed out, while a picture of a French woman has a checkmark? If you are correct about the French holding of the glass, then both of these are exactly appropriate in their cultures. Secondarily, between the wine professionals, neither a flute nor a coupe glass are considered very suitable glasses for serving Champagne. The coupe serving will result in a rapid loss of carbonation, and the flute emphasizes the carbonation at the cost of being able to smell the aromas. They are often filled too high also, which limits movement with the glass. Thirdly, it is more appropriate to cut the foil underneath the second lip with a knife of a corkscrew, rather than with the screw (because that's how you get a neat cut.). This is also done at a lower point because some drops of wine may end up dripping behind the foil and back to the glass with the next pour - cutting lower lowers that chance. Next, a coaster is a must in fine dining, but so is the serviette to wipe the lip of the wine bottle from any foil/cork/sediment remnants before pouring, and after pouring to prevent the drip from soiling the label.
So glad to know that I was raised with most of these etiquettes! I definitely learned a couple of new ones. Thank you for being so clear and concise with each part. 💜
I was taught NOT to hold out the pinky finger when holding a teacup, but rather it should be folded towards the palm, as it was considered a rude affectation to have it sticking up in the air.
I think it is dependent upon the country. In China a woman should always leave her pinky out (or so I was taught). But in the US, I was taught to curl it in.
@caroleberreur9585 It's a puzzle, for sure! And there's another woman commenting here who is quite deranged on the subject of anyone over age 12 leaving the dinner table for any reason. It's just weird.
@fburzaco It does not mean "edge". E.g. a brie is covered in rind, not only the edge. It means "bark or crust". "Rind" in French is "croûte". The OP is making a point about idiom.
@EdwardLindon J'adore comment tu peux le dire en français. Ayez un prix. Rind - noun: a thick, hard or tough natural outer covering. An outer covering is implicitly the edge. The edge of something is the demarcation where it stops, or the part of it that is furthest from the middle. - The outside limit of an object, area, or surface. So all rinds are logically the outermost edge.
It’s amazing how much we can communicate about ourselves through these little things. Even more so, I think we can communicate respect and appreciation for the company we are enjoying.
I love this. Can't even believe this is on RUclips for free. So many I things I've always wanted to know in one single place. Thanks for that. Manners are such an important thing and communicate so much. It is a shame that nowadays so much of people is not only unknown to so many, but even unappreciated by some.
Lovely video! My mother used to teach us these things, even though we were not wealthy at all. To her, it was about showing dignity and class and deep respect for the host/hostess for all their hard work. Another rule, was to NEVER show up empty-handed. Even if you don't bring a dish, you should bring wine, flowers or chocolate as a gift for the host/hostess. Thank you Mum, I miss you.
Do not agree with flowers. Pet peeve when guest arrive with flowers, must leave arriving guests grab the right vase, scissors, perhaps newspaper for cuttings. It is just awful. If I were to get caught like this again, I would ask the guest to go find the vase, scissors etc and do the arrangement. Always a good possibility the hostess has her own flowers in place for the party. Do Not bring flowers! Special chocolates, candies, good liqeur or brandy. Hostess has no doubt already selected wines for dinner.
@reelmermaid8844 it's a bit hard to follow this rule now because everyone is like gluten free, keto, no chocolate, don't drink, hate flowers, have an allergy and all this. I might consider thinking of a gift that's always universally lovely to receive and just have them on hand always for when I am invited. I've found the last few years I fret and try to think of everything that might offend the host and then end up bringing nothing which always feels wrong. Any ideas as a hostess who hates flowers?
My mom taught me too about not showing empty handed❤.. but about the flowers...always flowers on a vase. Ex: orchids. Ready for the hostess to put wherever they want. No work needed.
Table manners are less about which fork, which spoon, etc., and more about staying within your own space and not offending your dining companions with schlumpy posture, wayward elbows, or controversial conversation. I worked in fine dining for many years and was appalled at how many people just never learned basic table etiquette.
My father was a diplomat so we learned table manners very early. Thank you. I am an old school person & it breaks my heart to see how the young generation doesn’t even care anymore. What a pity. I didn’t know about the upside down spoon & fork. I have never seen it, although we have dined in many embassies. But, beautiful.
You had to put them upside down if and when your family crest was on the back of the cutlery, or also if your cutlery was coming from a famous orfèvre maker.
My Edwardian-era grandmother taught me similar rules of table etiquette. What seemed extraneous at the time turned out to be very useful later on in life.
@MademoiselleSpends Canadian here with British heritage but French husbands (one at a time haha)... I was taught to tip toward myself but have no idea where it came from! It was probably my very elegant and refined first French mother-in-law (from Paris but with French and Swiss parents).
In Central Europe, we're taught to tilt the plate outward too. I wouldn't say we completely follow the British etiquette, though. What surprised me was the placing of the cutlery in the middle of the meal: we are taught that the cutlery shouldn't touch the table, it should be rested (at the 8:20 position) ON the plate. What was shown in the video makes a very relaxed impression, not to say informal :-) Lovely how the "rules" vary throughout countries.
I believe the debate over corks vs screwcaps is evolving, with more and more wineries embracing screwcaps to reduce the occurrence of bad corks spoiling the wine.
@MademoiselleSpends I noticed the adorable pup too!!! Lovely addition to a beautifully elegant presentation!!! Warmest wishes from Northern California. New subscriber as of today!! ❤🤍💙
The best part of the video is when the sweet doggie enters. He doesn’t care that mommy is making a video. He wants to be close. 💕💕💕💕💕 so precious how he sleeps
Thank you for pointing out that filling classes is not proper; I worked for a caterer serving at weddings and so many guests would get angry at me for not filling glasses to the top, as though I were somehow ripping them off. We only had the wines that the host bought and paid for, not a bottomless number of barrels. I was shocked at how rude and grasping people could be.
woooow. I realize how many of these were normal table/social etiquette in my family..... and not in many other homes I experienced in my adult life. Hehe.
Melania's pic is the standard one. You don't keep your fingers around the goblet. You hold the stem. That's the purpose of the stem of the wine glass. Unless you want to warm up the contents of your glass with the temperature of your hand, or you're not confident that your grip is secure enough.
I'm surprized that most of the things my grandmother taught me in Venezuela are exactly the same as your grandmother taught you in France 😊. Except for the cutlery being presented downwards on the table and the pinkie finger sticking out with the small cup all the rest is the same! ❤ Grannies rock! ❤❤❤
I was in a super expensive restaurant in Paris that had no prices on the menu. My boss took me there for " job well done " during my orthopedic residency. Anyway, I was 23 yo and took the wrong fork out of the 5 forks lined up and the wrong knife too!! The waiter was horrified to see that and SHOWED IT QUITE RUDELY and I was so sad that I had taken the wrong knife and fork!! I wish your video was available then... THANK YOU. I can certainly pick the right scalpel tho. 🤣
Sweetie, the waiter was a jerk. There is no right or wrong way to use a unensil and only the shallow and uncouth think there is. Your waiter was a barbarian and you should have let them know. You are the one doing the eating, and as long as you don't put your feet on the table you can eat stake with a desert spoon if you wish. Anyone telling you there is a proper way to set a table, place a fork or napkin should stick to being a waiter and let the rest of us eat. There is nothing useful you can learn from etiquette videos apart from how to be vukgar
Our soup spoons are a different shape. They are rounded and we sip from the side. We take the spoon to the back before lifting to the mouth and we do the same if we have too much on our spoon plus it stops any drips. We tilt from the front when the bowl is nearly empty. We use our knives and forks in the same way. When finished we place cutlery either to the side or the centre with the prongs or tines upward. It is interesting how different cultures have different ways. I did learn quite a lot. I always have a special dinner for 14th July so will putting what I learnt into play. Loved your video.
I think serving tea with teabags is bad manners. It should be ready made with loose leaf tea in the pot and a tea strainer provided. But then I’m English not French. Thank you for an interesting video. Much the same as my country, a few differences though. And just to say, tea comes in a pot, milk in a jug.
Vous avez raison, le thé en sachet à ce niveau de ‘standing » est une énorme faute de goût (si je puis dire😅)servir du thé en dehors d’une théière avec des vraies feuilles de thé: je ne pourrais plus! Comme beaucoup de français de souche populaire, mes parents ne connaissaient pas le thé mais le café avec de la chicorée. Mais j’ai appris à connaître le thé ,et les règles d’infusions au minimum; (et surtout pas un thé parfumé )mais à savoir déguster les divers types et jardins.Loin d’une « cérémonie du thé »que je ne maîtriserais pas, à vouloir imiter maladroitement nos amis asiatiques.. Et bien entendu, je serais aussi mal à l’aise au cours d’un repas de ce niveau; d’ailleurs qui peut se permettre un service à plusieurs plats et plusieurs vins? Restons honnêtes, il s’agit aussi d ‘un savoir vivre d’un certain cercle . Et pour le reste, si ces règles sont communes à plusieurs pays occidentaux, c’est qu’ils sont issus d’une aristocratie qui se côtoyait en dehors des guerres😢. Gardons le savoir vivre, mais ne soyons pas rigides avec l’ »étiquette » et profitons du partage d’un repas en « bonne franquette » en mettant à l’aise tous les convives.❤
@jenanization The French are a bit awkward with tea. Much of the time when they are serving tea, it’s actually an herbal infusion. And tea bags are mostly what you’ll find.
Yes, I too found it curious that after such a delightful display of good manners at the table, a host or hotess would want to serve tea in a teabag! Teapot and tea leaves always - and that goes for herbal infusions too surely? Also, lifting the little finger when drinking from a cup is - to my British upbringing but I am half Italian too - really 'plouc' :)
Un grand plaisir de voir toutes ces leçons de ma mère expliquées dans ce vidéo. J ' ai continué ses traditions. . Elle est décédée récemment. Je suis soulagée d'apprendre que ces manières de table continuent d'être enseignées et pratiquées. Mille mercis!
Oui je suis d’accord et ces manières sont importantes. Je les ai transmises à mes enfants qui se sentent à l’aise partout où ils vont et croyez moi, les gens remarquent tout de suite la difference. Merci à vous pour cette video
Lots of good info here. I grew up knowing to put the tea bag on the tea bag dish. They are usually small and cute and keep the saucer from becoming messy. The wine holder or dish is also a must in order to protect table cloths 😄👍 I’m sharing this video with my teen daughter to show how I am not a nut, this is real and shows elegance. Thank you for making the video.
When my mom taught us she made it fun...who can walk around the living room balancing a book on their head the longest, identifying a fish knife, etc. The rule my brother & I HATED though, was "no fooling at the table". Mum's line was "how can you marry royalty if you don't go to my finishing school"? 😂
It is so enjoyable for me to hear you. I am Australian but my mum lived in France for years and she imparted many of these insights into French manners and the ideal of elegance. Thankyou!
Years ago we were at a celebratory dinner at a special restaurant. It was a very large group so it wasn’t surprising that my place setting was shy the soup spoon. I tried to discreetly get my waiter’s attention, but he never made eye contact. By the time my table mates had finished their soup and servers were serving the next course at the table next to us, I decided to be rude and use my dessert spoon to get at least a taste of what my husband said was an excellent dish. The waiter who had avoided me for half an hour swooped in grabbed my soup and proceeded to exclaim that I couldn’t have anything else to eat because I was a cretin. Another celebrant interceded with the Maitre’D, explaining the missing spoon. The apologetic gentleman served our table for the rest of the evening
@johnmcglynn4102 My husband specifically requested a salad fork rather than the giant pitch fork provided to which the French waiter had a hissy fit. This was at Disney Epcot, LOL!
@bettyir4302 That is horrible the waiter had no way of knowing nor should he care how you decide to eat something this especially as a person who has disability I know as I cannot always lift heavy cutlery.
A truly polite person with manners would never point out someone who isn’t followed the “rules” of social etiquette. Honestly, it’s all pomp and circumstance. People need to get over themselves and embrace that it’s much more important and respectful to be kind and not worry about how one “should” eat their food. Be grateful for the company and the food.
Well said! Maybe her grandmother forgot to teach her to respect her elders. Our first lady is not a drinker so it is understandable that she wouldn’t know how to hold a wine glass 🤷🏻♀️
Lovely to see you back, Ariane. And looking so happy! 😊 I live in Australia, and was raised by my grandmother who strongly believed in etiquette and good manners. Her motto was “manners cost nothing.” I believe the same and have passed this on to my 4 grown up sons. They also have impeccable table manners. It’s disappointing to see how laid back some people have become. Perhaps they don’t consider it is also a sign of respect to take a little more care
Interesting video, thank you. I am German and about 50 years old. In my family we are used to hold wine glasses by the stem, because we put the glasses gently together while toasting and want them to make a nice little sound. The other etiquette habits are quite the same. The choice of the wine depends on the course. Usually fish dishes go with white wine while red wine is served with pork, beef or game. My mother tought me always to clean the mouth with the napkin before drinking from a wine glass. It is interesting to see that dinner etiquette is in general quite similar throughout Europe.
Thank you so much for this video - it was incredibly helpful and comforting at the same time. For many of us who didn’t have a parent, mentor, or anyone to teach us table manners and etiquette growing up, you truly feel like the guidance we never had. In a way, you’re replacing that role for us, and I’m deeply grateful for that. Your English is beautiful, clear, and easy to understand, and the way you explain everything makes etiquette feel approachable, not intimidating. I especially loved that you actually ate and drank while explaining, instead of keeping everything purely theoretical like so many etiquette videos do. That made such a huge difference and helped everything click. Please make more videos like this, maybe with different dishes, meals, or dining situations. I would absolutely love to learn more from you. Thank you again - this truly means a lot 🤍
About serving champagne especially at sitdown dinner, I go by the suggestion of Maximilian Riedel, CEO of the Riedel wine glassware company: "The flute is best for toasting, whereas the Champagne Wine Glass allows the range of aromas of champagne to unfold in a way which is not possible with a narrow flute. It is a glass designed to elevate much more than simply the bubbles in champagne or sparkling wines. Rather than thin like a flute, it more closely resembles a white wine glass.The larger rim diameter of the Champagne Wine Glass enables a wide range of aromatics to be presented to the drinker in a way that is simply not achievable with a narrow glass. The bowl envelops the bouquet, allowing complex layers to intensify. A sparkling point in the bottom of the bowl helps to maintain effervescence without concentrating on it, delivering a softer feel in the mouth and enhancing the richness and depth of flavor." And since I don't currentyly have the specific Riedel champagne wine glasses in my cupboard, and since I hardly serve champagne when having friends for non-celebratory dinners chez moi, I use white wine glasses in serving bubbles when I have to.
Basically, the coup was replaced by the flute at some point and now we're living at a time when the flute is being replaced by the "tulip" form which in my opinion is GREAT! And at normal occasions, simple white wine glass is fine.
Wickers World did a long interview with a French Count whose wife’s family owned Mőet et Chandon and I was interested to see that during the course of their meal they drank champagne from glasses rather like those you describe.
@solangelauthier2381 I quoted Maximilian Riedel and he was talking about the RIEDEL Champagne Wine Glasses that come in 4 different choices: Vinum, Veloce, Veritas and Dom Perignon. And they indeed all look like white wine glasses with no similarity at all to the coupe, which, if you didn't know and if I may digress, was the glass for bubbles to look chic and elegant through the 1960's - when I wasn't old enough to enjoy them. Before jumping in to comment, you really should let your fingers work a bit to Google.
@solangelauthier2381 Know your antiques? Fine...cheers!...however delusional, self-aggrandizing you are! But the fact is, contrary to what you're claiming here that you "have inherited both (19th century) [coupe and flute]", there are history sources on champagne glassware that put the coupe's emergence as a favorite for bubbles in the 1800s and the flute only around the 1920s. in other words, the flute isn't as old as the coupe. As for "traditions" - French or otherwise - most of them tend to end up being personal affectations as time goes by or when newer lifestyle and cultural ideas come up.
Russian here. Some differences: 1. A lady may briefly rest her elbows on the table, but placing hands on the lap isn’t really acceptable 2. The wine glass is held by the stem, forks rest with tines facing up 3. Sticking out one’s pinkie is deemed inelegant and ridiculous As for tea. Buns and cream cakes are less about morning vs evening, and more about cozy tea time at grandma’s home vs a rendez-vous at a cafe. If guests are expected, tea is brewed in a teapot. But even if a tea bag is used, it must never, NEVER be squeezed with a spoon, like a hanged criminal!
@solangelauthier2381 Ihave never seen progs down in France,I live here since 30 years and have seen many many many grandes tables.The gal just red in the book of french étiquette
Same in Brazil, but my mom taught me to rest my fork the French way , tines facing down when finished, although Brazilians usually do it like the Russians... tines facing up. As for the rest, the very same rules apply.
Hermoso me recordó las instrucciones que me dio mi Padre educado por una institutriz francesa, y nos transmitió con mucho amor y me fueron muy útiles a toda mi vida❤muchísimas Graciassss
Thank you for showing us traditional French dinning manner. Different countries have different manners. It is always good to learn so that we don't embarrass ourselves. 😉
How about constantly touching your hair at the table? BTW- I worked a dozen years at a 5 star in Philadelphia and we placed the silverware “upside down” because it was marked “Christophle” and displaying the logo would be gauche, like wearing your clothing inside out, to show the label. The reason glasses are faceted is to hide fingerprints.If the glasses are clear and unadorned, don’t be a child, or a slave to manners, pick them up by stem. And if you’re wearing lipstick, PICK ONE AREA OF THE GLASS TO SIP FROM. BTW the chef I worked for received the Merit D’Agricole for representing, and promulgating French culture.
Regarding the forks, she explained it correctly. The family monogram must be visible. In France they place it in the back and the forks are placed in a prone position. In Germany, the monogram is in the front and forks are positioned supine…
Brigitte Macron holds her glass of white wine the wrong way. She is warming up the bowl of the glass with her hands. Melania is holding it the right way, by the stem. 😝
As a Canadian I find most of this as expected with 2 exceptions. Firstly, I would scoop my soup spoon away from myself and then drink from the side of the spoon. Second, I have been taught to dab my mouth before sipping from my glass to avoid leaving unsightly food smudges on the edge of the glass from my lips.
This is exactly how I was brought up by my parents in New Zealand. I’m 70 and now people are much more casual. Soup was different. At the end of the bowl you tip it away from you for the last mouthful. A slice of cheese from a round should always be cut to keep the nose pointed. Only take one chocolate!
And finally, everyone should remember: this is ✨fancy✨ dinner etiquette. This is NOT how the average French person/family dines. Even with my own French grandmother, who had the full silverware drawer and put “les petits plats dans les grands”, it was never this fancy or complicated. In my 35 years of French/Parisian life, I’ve never had to deal with so much cutlery and glasses, not even at weddings. It might be more usual for upper class peeps, but not for normal plebeians like myself. That is to say: this is nice to know, but don’t fret. As long as you don’t stick your fingers into the food, don’t talk with your mouth full, don’t spill stuff all over others, and DO sit appropriately, nobody will mind if you use the same damn glass for all different drinks (just don’t mix them together lol) 😊 Eventually good manners if about making everyone feel easy and comfortable, to be neither crass nor stuffy.
@DiegoHerranz-mw1jl : It's not always viewed as "bad education", it's very culture related. And sometime it's even considered rude to fully finish your plate as it might mean that you didn't had enough. My grand mother use to say that "the height of politeness is, when in Rome, do as the Romans do". And she would add "And if it means to eat with your fingers and slurping you soup, do it. And put your education in your pocket with your handkerchief on top of it." 😆
My parents raised us “practicing” these types of etiquette habits at our regular family meals at home. They often said it was because “Some day you will be invited to eat with your future in laws without knowing it!” I’m thankful that it was introduced to me in such a low stakes setting, because now it is ingrained as more normal manner of eating, and I can enjoy dining without the mental labor of juggling rules.
Don't struggle with the word! Just say "aerate." Oxygenate is more technical term about actively putting oxygen into something. Anyway, after the first glass, everyone fumbles their words! The metal tray is called a wine coaster in English. They are very handy, but if you don't have one, you can put a little napkin bib on the bottle. I hate drinking sparkling wine out of coupes. I much prefer flutes. I was taught to eat soup from the side of the spoon, not the end. The "milk pot" is called a "creamer." I think it's really nice that you pointed out that it's an overall impression that you're committed to having good manners, and not a precise protocol that you have to be overly concerned about not breaching. It's ok to forget something. It's ok if your country's etiquette is a little different. But following the rules broadly will send a message of goodwill to your hosts. Thanks for your video!
@eshaibraheem4218 Same in the US if it's the full size you'd have in your refrigerator. The small size for milk or cream for coffee that you'd serve guests is a creamer.
@nycp1969 No matter how small, it's a milk jug in England. We don't put cream in our tea, and I don't put cream in my coffee, but milk. You drink more coffee in the US than we do in the UK, though we are catching up, and perhaps Starbucks serves cream, along with its syrups, etc., but I've never been to one. (It is probably under boycott by now!) Sometimes I think our two nations are confused by cream and milk, the latter sometimes having cream at the top of the bottle. Now I'm aging myself, the days of milk bottles having long passed: cartons now.🌹
This is so perfect I was trying to figure out how to show my sons a third party example of how they should be at the table. I was taught many of these things but some new ones I really enjoyed and appreciate can’t wait to implement them! Thank you!
Can I just say how perfect your teaching style is!! I'm amazed and so much attracted to learning REAL french traditions. Please keep posting such videos because they are so refreshing from all those "know it all, but don't know a single thing" kinda stuff. Lots of love. ❣
Yes, if you can find a French person to whom what she is talking about is a familiar "tradition" Ive got a tower in Paris you might be interested in buying
@ No, its not. There simply is no way 'it is done' and anyone who thinks there is, or cares, should look at whats stuck up their ludicrous back sides rather than placed on a table, chair or on the moon
I love your curls. 🌸. In America I have been taught that when eating soup you spoon the soup away from yourself to avoid spilling soup on yourself and to sip the soup from the side of the spoon for the same reason. It’s lovely to see you back. 🩷
I learned to eat soup the same way, slide the spoon away from you especially when you are almost finished with the dish. I find it easier to see how much is left in the bowl & therefore, I have less dripping off my soup when I bring it up to my mouth.
Charmingly presented. A tip you may like for red wine: I neatly tie a quality paper napkin around the neck of the bottle of red wine so the drip catches in the napkin.🍷🍷 Then it doesn't spoil the tablecloth.
This was easy to follow, and it seems to have added to my table manners for a mant course meal. Never growing up with wine being served, it will help a great deal. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, this was divine, really helpful. It doesn't matter a/b opinion, if you're at a table of a Persian, THIS is how you behave. So generous, thank you, thank you for this video, perfection.❤
‘Like the ships that go to sea, I dip my spoon away from me’. Or something like that :-). A tea bag in a cup rather than a proper teapot?? Quelle horreur.
I think it would not surprise anyone to learn that good table manners carry through many western cultures. That good host and guest etiquette are very similar. Hospitality and gracious receiving are more relaxed in familiar settings, and that being respectful on both sides is always very much appreciated on both sides. Bon appetit and thank you for such a lovely demonstration of formal western table manners. As an aside, I have also heard about the origins of the Champagne coupe....quite titillating!
5:34 Use the stem if the wine is chilled. You don’t want the heat from your palm to warm the wine in the glass. But yes, for room temperature wines (reds), hold it by the bowl
You should change your picture on the video. The french woman was holding her glass by the bell...fine, but the American woman was holding it by the stem, because it was white wine and we do not like the warmth of our fingers to heat the wine.
It’s interesting we have a lot of French etiquette in Sweden but there are some marked differences 1) the crests are on the up side and thus that is how the cutlery is placed, 2) soup spoons are smaller and more eggshaped and you eat the soup at a slight angle so neither French nor Brittish style. 3) you indicate that you are NOT finished by placing the cutlery to the side in the French way and that you are by turning the cutlery the other way. 4) we do not raise the finger when drinking tea or coffee anymore as that was a fashion during a time to show that you did not have syphilies and after a while it became gauche, fell out of fashion. We never did agree on whether a man should go before or after a lady on the stairs in Sweden ie to go ahead and defend her but on the other hand present your back and backside to the lady Brittish influence or defend her back and thus risking looking up her skirts French.
⚜ Join the circle of high status women: www.youtube.com/@MademoiselleSpends/join
your thumbnail's image HAS NOTHING to do with the TOPIC of your video. Either you are Gracious or you are not.. stop being passive aggressive. Remove Melania from you r thumbnails.. She is both Intelligent and Classy. You may not like Trump but stop throwing "shade" while claiming to be "elegant and classy"
German here, but living in the south of France. My favorite winemaker says otherwise. He is adamant I should hold my glass of white or rosé (so the wines which are cooled) by the stem. Not only at the tasting, but also at dinner. Otherwise my warm hands would alter the temperature of the wine he took a lot of care to maintain. The other rules are similar to what I learned in Germany with the exception of the forks and spoons being laid upside down. Interesting video, merci beaucoup!
Hello, I am from the South of France too, but normally people hold their glass as explained in the video. Not by the stem.
Whenever I have to handle a glass with a stem, I’ll hold it by the stem-even if there’s only water inside the glass! Otherwise why should glass blowers even bother making those stems? 😂 if holding by the cup is about “not looking pretentious”, then people should drink their wine in regular, basic cups.
Well, if you're sitting at a table you won't hold your glass long enough to warm the wine as you put it down after just a sip of it and you hold it just with the tip of 3 fingers (not the whole hand 🙂). So you don't need to hold it by the stem.
However, if you have to keep your glass in your hand (e.g. cocktail party) then obviously you hold cold wine glasses by the stem (White, rosé, champagne et autres mousseux).
German here, having lived in many countries. The rudest people in my home was a French noble couple, neighbours I had invited. They criticised everything I did as wrong and called it Spanish court rules. I was not contradicting them but my thoughts were that French were peasants until Italian manners were introduced!
@leamubiuI fully agree that if a stem is part of the glass design, it’s strange not to hold it by the stem. But maybe it’s a French versus German thing, as I am also German.
in our finishing school in Switzerland, they taught us to have the rest of the soup by tilting the plate not towards us but the opposite !!!!
Growing up on Cape Cod, Massachusetts in USA my mom had us elegantly spooning Campbell's "tomaaato" soup with the reverse tilt as early as toddlers, lol...from our lowly shack (she was the last generation that grew up with money 🤣 - but for goodness sake let's not speak about money!)
@zopizopi5054 Yes, that's the way we are taught in England. I was told that, if we accidentally tipped the plate too far, it would spill in the table and not in our lap!
In Czech kindergarten we were taught to tilt the plate sideways. Because it is close to reach, but won't end in your lap.
Yes!
And when you scoop up the soup, you should spoon away from you as opposed to towards you, as she did.
I am daughter of sommelier here. And I have been involved with wine world almost half of my life.
As far as I know the screw tops are now used even on good quality wines as well.
Also you should ALWAYS hold your glass by the stem in order not to warm the wine with with your hands. Otherwise the wine will get warm too quickly
@anastasiyasydorenko I really doubt that a few fingers in the time of seconds you hold a glass to have a sip would really warm up your wine which is served a little cold.
☑️“this is how we did it” instead of “this is how it is done” would help better understand the video
@ But you drink French wine in France, and the vast majority of wines still use cork. If French wineries switched to screw tops, the hosts and hostesses would use them. There's nothing particular about the cork that makes the wine better. It's just an esthetic and tactile experience. A nice experience in my opinion, but not strictly necessary to have a good glass of wine. I don't know any French people who would lie and say they have their own wine production.
I have had beautiful white wines with the screw cap!! I was very snobby about it till I gave it a chance!! 😂
I am from Britain and have lived in Italy for over 40 years plus I have spent much time in France. Table manners at the level you show are remarkably similar. What is also so important is educating children from an early age how to behave both at home and in a restaurant
So true. Plus no kids menus. Generally they are so unhealthy. Much better an adult dish but a smaller helping. My granddaughter is only 5 but for a year or so one of her favourite dishes is spaghetti alle vongole (clams).
Absolutely! The number of adults I have known with horrible table and restaurant manners is appalling.
Hello, I am London girl, living more than 55 years in Switzerland. The table manners we were taught were similar, except for some changes such as turning the forks and spoons over. I don't remember teabags in those days.andmother of adult grandchildren, I often get laughted at (jokingly) for expressing my preferences at the table i.e. manners.
My mother being from Florence was not a Champagne drinker but my parents drank good Italian wine.
In additional to all of this, the children were only allowed to speak when spoken to.
There are many countries who have exquisite table manners..
@solangelauthier2381 Could it be that the nanny or the poor immigrant may have manners but their manners are different from yours? Since you are the employer, maybe you should train them in his/her first week of employment. Or, should I say, it is the employer's responsibility to teach the newcomer how things are done in your country.
Remember, in some countries, they eat meals with their hands. I watched in awe how those people eat their food with grace. I bet you can't do it with grace the way they do it. So, please broaden your mind. France is not the only country in the world. There are hundreds more countries and billions more people out there.
The best manners are BRITISH …. NOT FRENCH ….. 👎
The photos shows Brigitte just standing there. Melania raising her glass on a toast, as in "cheers". Two different situations.
Brilliant when you think of it. Melania defenders came to make sure of no offense and her haters came to bask. Truly united for a nano second. 😁 Clever Girl. 🗼
Terrible analogy and violating the content creator's own philosophy of what an "Elegant woman would and wouldn't do."
@melissabrown9257 This is my message to the content creator and you should read it for yourself as well " your thumbnail's image HAS NOTHING to do with the TOPIC of your video. Either you are Gracious or you are not.. stop being passive aggressive. Remove Melania from you r thumbnails.. She is both Intelligent and Classy. You may not like Trump but stop throwing "shade" while claiming to be "elegant and classy"
@blorac9869 not so clever.. you are reading too much into it.. The thumbnail image has nothing to do with the topic of her video - It is called CLICK BAIT
1. White wine: always hold the glass on the stem, you don't want to warm up the wine.
2. If you are having both, white and red wine, white should be drunken first as it is lighter in taste. It also depends on what you are eating to pair it correctly. Sparkling wine or champagne for the starter, dessert wine after the dinner, with the dessert.
3. You clean your mouth with the serviette always before you drink.
4. A soup plate you tint away from you so that you don't pour the content on you.
Those table manners shown in the video are universal throughout Europe. You don't need to grow up in a castle to know them. An average middle class person knows them. Even during communist Czechoslovakia we were tough these manners latest in the classical dance classes which almost every middle school student attended. If not sooner by our parents.
Otherwise a nice introductory video.
It's common centraleuropean A-U culture.Bravo!
Europeans are elite without being elite. That’s the real lesson here. ❤
@AmericanThoughts1776 It depends. We really need to think about, that those are our cultural circle manners but different cultures, different manners and we are also awkward at other cultures dining manners. Important is to observe if one is unsure, to be polite and to take ones own failures with humour 😊
@solangelauthier2381
1. As of the white or red wine choice I wrote it also from the position of the host, how to offer and serve correctly. 2. Whether you call desert part of the dinner or not is not important, but you shouldn't serve desert wine before. Again position of the host.
3. Whether you offer cognac or something else depends on your connection with alcohol and what is typical for your country /region /family etc.
4. Soup plate - you're not supposed to pour the soup on you, still this rule exists.
5. Whipping your mouth before drinking - you always do, since it can still be slightly dirty from the food, regardless how hard you try.
As of the last two points I'm sticking with the rules presented by a former chief of the diplomatic protocol and adviser of the Czech president Václav Havel, Mr. Ladislav Spacek. He's is on this matter a higher authority to me and I shall stay with his advice. On the other hand I have also heard that you shouldn't tilt your plate at all and simply leave rest of the soup on the plate at really official occasions.
@LuciDomino Thanks for mentioning this: "You clean your mouth with the serviette always before you drink." I almost cringed when she didn't use the serviette before drinking :D - but the video in general is great, and as you say... the manners quite universal if France, Italy, Germany, Austria... very similiar or even the same.
I am 13th generation American, so perhaps not a "typical modern American", but with a few very subtle variations, these are the table manners I was taught by my grandmother.
Good manners never go out of style, but the most important "manners" are consideration for one's companions, and the willingness to gracefully put them at ease, even if that might entail bending the code a bit.
Yes, absolutely, gracefully putting people at ease is really important
I didn’t quite understand what you meant by “ not a typical modern American”. If you are a 13th generation US citizen ( assuming not a Native American), then already your blood line has amalgamated many times over these at least 12 generations, through so many sets of great great……….grand parents!
@ Yeah, it's not clear what that has to do with anything.
@malihagarden7062probably a reference to a family of colonial lineage, possibly upper class even then if not now from wealth built over time. Many of the traditions were direct from England, France, etc. and, for some of those families, the idea of maintaining some of that tradition generation to generation is more observable than for the average Joe.
Source: I lived in Boston for a long while and had close friends like this, some from the South too. Generally I just keep it short and call them WASPs. Idk what the equivalent is in the South…UVA alum? jk 😂 Rarely refer to this in London now but I suppose I’d just say “blue blood” as a catch all
OMG! You sound like 'merican aristocracy, whatever the eff that is.
I was always told that you eat soup by pushing your spoon away from you and at the end you can tilt the plat still away from you😊
Exactly!
@barbarafoster7000 We were taught to remember it this way: “Like little ship at sea, I dip my soup away from me.” 😉
@elizabethjones9440 Also by spooning from the far side of the plate hot soup has a chance to cool slightly before being taken.
@alandodd858same distance each way. 😆
I had grandparents from Austria and Holland. Table manners were of the utmost importance at their homes. I appreciate their teachings. It was something that has carried me through my life. I always notice someone with impeccable table manners. It is something that seems to be lost these days.
Very true.
I really like this video. As someone from a European background, this is a great reminder of eating etiquette. I especially like the habit of having coffee/tea in the living room, after the desert. It is a welcome time to stand and stretch the legs, and an opportunity to change or continue the conversation.
The same for me
In my European country, according to eating etiquette, you would finish the meal, at the table, with desert and tea or coffee, and perhaps an avec, with the desert. There could of course be coffee afterwards as well, but, the main cup goes with the desert. Let's not make the mistake that Americans make on the regular - which is to consider Europe one single culture. I am happy to be a European, I do feel such an identity, but I am also acutely aware of the great differences between European cultures. Let's celebrate them, instead of pretending we are all the same. We are *not*.
The French (or European) way is to hold the knife in the right hand when cutting food and using the left hand for the fork, WITHOUT SWITCHING the fork to the right hand after cutting in the way Americans do. The knife stays in the right hand until the course is finished. When having a meal that is one way to tell a European from an American as it is an ingrained habit.
I lived in France 14 yrs with my husband and an now a French national and that’s the only way I eat now - American food is basically the same across the board no matter what region you go to - oysters are awful in the US they cut them out and put them back in the shell, they are not firm and they have no taste - I remember eating fresh oysters by the sea in Normandie near the Mont Saint Michelle so beautiful
Watch Audrey Hepburn in Charade. It’s the scene where she and Cary Grant are eating dinner on the Seine. Once you see it you can appreciate the style.
I was taught this too by my family, but I often hold them opposite because I'm left handed. 😅 Usually my fork is upside down (tines facing downward) in my right hand and the knife is held in the left for manoeuvring and pushing softer food onto the fork (no shoveling!). So if anything, I give away that I'm left handed and I didn't have to go through the correction my grandfather did for superstitious reasons.
I'm European and I switch the fork and knive all the time while eating. It's what's more comfortable for me.
@ Apparently you are an exception to the rule. I am European (now American), but my family always ate with knife in the right hand and fork in the left, and so did everyone else I knew. I now eat American style because it has become more comfortable for me.
This is a class thing. My grandfather was a peasant from Italy. When our extended family got together, we never had matching dinner plates and only a knife, fork for each. Spoons were saved for desert or coffee. We drank either homemade or dry red jug wine in stemless water glasses. Humble settings. We grew up in the suburbs of Buffalo and were the only family that we knew who drank wine, except for another Italian family down the street.
(German here) No, it is not imho. The table rules shown in the video are just the very basics, and they seem to be standard throughout Europe with very little variation. My parents were definitely not "upper class" or "new rich" or sophisticated in any way. One of my grandfathers had worked as an accountant, my other grandfather was a carpenter, and his wife (my grandma) had a background of farmers and railway workers. Everything shown in the video was already a habit for my sister and me before we even started elementary school. I'm in my mid-50s today, and it has helped me a lot in life to have internalized it so early on. This is my table manners every day, even when I'm eating alone at home. It's so nice not to have to think about it when you're invited to formal occasions-you can then just enjoy such events (the conversation and the food) in complete relaxation.
I find it very interesting that some viewers with a US-American background seem to feel somewhat offended by the video.
@manuelbreuer7074 I'm from New Zealand with English grandmother and great grandmother - definitely not upper class either but they also knew the value of good table manners. This video is also quite similar to what I learned as a child. Less cutlery (not so many courses) but one difference is that I was taught to spoon soup from the far side of the bowl and away from me. My father said this is to avoid spillage on clothing; I still do this. Does this happen in Europe at all?
@manuelbreuer7074 I really appreciate your comment. It is always nicer to be nice❤
@ I think you're right about some Americans being offended by too many manners. Most of us are taught more or less what is presented here, but for some people, there's still a discomfort in what they perceive to be excessive ceremony and protocol. Some Americans think the only really important manners are things like not chewing with your mouth open, eating with your elbows on the table or reaching across the table to get something--things that directly affect others. Other things are left to personal choice--things like which glass or fork to use. I guess they're right in a way, but I'm a stickler for manners personally.
@ I wasn’t making a point about being offended by elite etiquette. I was just saying that it’s a class thing. In the famous book, “The millionaire next door” (Back when a million dollars was a lot of money), the average American millionaire ate on paper plates, bought used cars and bought clothes at thrift stores. I personally enjoy nice food and wine, but, you get the point. Elite etiquette in the US is largely an urban elite thing. You are correct that common people in the US pass on just a few basic behaviors. Elites in urban US punch down on “low culture” (MAGA type people, that used to be the working class DEms) but praise low black culture. So. The US is a mixed bag on this issue.
I am British, and was twice an exchange student in France as a teenager. I noticed that if someone left the table for any reason, they placed their napkin on the back or their chair, never on the table unless they wanted to signify that they were finished. :) Great information here, merci !
I was taught to put it on the seat of the chair if you get up during the meal. This seems the best thing to do because no one will have to look at it. The back of the seat seems strange to me. Why display the napkin you're using for everyone to see?
@nycp1969 I meant placed hanging over the back of the chair, not on the seat. :)
@solangelauthier2381
Sometimes people need to leave the table. 🙄
You should never hang your napkin in the back of a chair like a flag! Nobody wants to look at your used napkin as they continue to eat.
If you need to leave the table, you should place your napkin on the seat of your chair to signify to wait staff that you will be returning and are not finished eating. Just loosely fold it so it looks neat, but do don't refold it to look as it's when you sat down. And don't wad it up in a ball.
At the end of the meal, loosely fold the napkin and place it to the left of the plate.
@
Nonsense! 🤣🤣🤣
Very interesting! Thank you!
As a seasoned wine professional, former ***Michelin sommelier and MW candidate (writing under my husband's profile), I have to convey that I was surprised by the holding by the bowl rule. I train our staff (in the US, although I am European) to never hold wines by the bowl in order to not leave the fingerprints and not change the wine temperature, plus have more agility with the glass. These are also rules of the Court of Master Sommeliers. It is entirely possible that with a thick and textured/cut glass like those on the video, fingerprints or temperature change would be negligible. It is also possible, that what is considered a well mannered behavior in one culture is looked down upon as rude in another. I am willing to accept that this is the way French aristocracy drinks wine, but why then choose a video thumbnail of a woman in America holding it in a very culturally appropriate/correct way in that culture, is being crossed out, while a picture of a French woman has a checkmark? If you are correct about the French holding of the glass, then both of these are exactly appropriate in their cultures.
Secondarily, between the wine professionals, neither a flute nor a coupe glass are considered very suitable glasses for serving Champagne. The coupe serving will result in a rapid loss of carbonation, and the flute emphasizes the carbonation at the cost of being able to smell the aromas. They are often filled too high also, which limits movement with the glass.
Thirdly, it is more appropriate to cut the foil underneath the second lip with a knife of a corkscrew, rather than with the screw (because that's how you get a neat cut.). This is also done at a lower point because some drops of wine may end up dripping behind the foil and back to the glass with the next pour - cutting lower lowers that chance.
Next, a coaster is a must in fine dining, but so is the serviette to wipe the lip of the wine bottle from any foil/cork/sediment remnants before pouring, and after pouring to prevent the drip from soiling the label.
@HalHinkle Secondarily?
It’s secondly, but most knew what you meant. I think your grasp of the English language is amazing!😊
@RueForget The person who provided this informative and valuable comment is from Europe. So a small error is understandable.
Oh man you mopped the floor with her! I love it!❤🥂😂
So glad to know that I was raised with most of these etiquettes! I definitely learned a couple of new ones. Thank you for being so clear and concise with each part. 💜
I was taught NOT to hold out the pinky finger when holding a teacup, but rather it should be folded towards the palm, as it was considered a rude affectation to have it sticking up in the air.
Because it IS an affectation to have it sticking up in the air.
I think it is dependent upon the country. In China a woman should always leave her pinky out (or so I was taught). But in the US, I was taught to curl it in.
Agree, and I am also French. I really don’t know where she’s been brought up. 😂
@caroleberreur9585
It's a puzzle, for sure! And there's another woman commenting here who is quite deranged on the subject of anyone over age 12 leaving the dinner table for any reason. It's just weird.
@lifelonglearner56 I don’t know where that pinky out thing came from. I never saw anyone do it.
The English word for the edge of cheese is “rind” not “crust”. “Crust” is for bread and pastry.
rind literally means "edge". Now, can you say it in french?
@fburzaco It does not mean "edge". E.g. a brie is covered in rind, not only the edge. It means "bark or crust". "Rind" in French is "croûte". The OP is making a point about idiom.
@EdwardLindon J'adore comment tu peux le dire en français. Ayez un prix.
Rind - noun: a thick, hard or tough natural outer covering.
An outer covering is implicitly the edge. The edge of something is the demarcation where it stops, or the part of it that is furthest from the middle. - The outside limit of an object, area, or surface. So all rinds are logically the outermost edge.
@EdwardLindonah. Maintenant je comprends!
As English is not her first language, I think I'd overlook that one.
It’s amazing how much we can communicate about ourselves through these little things. Even more so, I think we can communicate respect and appreciation for the company we are enjoying.
I love this. Can't even believe this is on RUclips for free. So many I things I've always wanted to know in one single place. Thanks for that. Manners are such an important thing and communicate so much. It is a shame that nowadays so much of people is not only unknown to so many, but even unappreciated by some.
Lovely video! My mother used to teach us these things, even though we were not wealthy at all. To her, it was about showing dignity and class and deep respect for the host/hostess for all their hard work. Another rule, was to NEVER show up empty-handed. Even if you don't bring a dish, you should bring wine, flowers or chocolate as a gift for the host/hostess. Thank you Mum, I miss you.
Do not agree with flowers. Pet peeve when guest arrive with flowers, must leave arriving guests grab the right vase, scissors, perhaps newspaper for cuttings. It is just awful.
If I were to get caught like this again, I would ask the guest to go find the vase, scissors etc
and do the arrangement. Always a good possibility the hostess has her own flowers in place for the party. Do Not bring flowers! Special chocolates, candies, good liqeur or brandy.
Hostess has no doubt already selected wines for dinner.
Thank you. It nice to know some formal etiquette. And to make an occasion out of a simple and humble ritual ie. Mealtime
@reelmermaid8844 it's a bit hard to follow this rule now because everyone is like gluten free, keto, no chocolate, don't drink, hate flowers, have an allergy and all this. I might consider thinking of a gift that's always universally lovely to receive and just have them on hand always for when I am invited. I've found the last few years I fret and try to think of everything that might offend the host and then end up bringing nothing which always feels wrong. Any ideas as a hostess who hates flowers?
My mom taught me too about not showing empty handed❤.. but about the flowers...always flowers on a vase. Ex: orchids. Ready for the hostess to put wherever they want. No work needed.
My Nan would be pleased that I already practise these rules even today. Merci Mlle.
Table manners are less about which fork, which spoon, etc., and more about staying within your own space and not offending your dining companions with schlumpy posture, wayward elbows, or controversial conversation. I worked in fine dining for many years and was appalled at how many people just never learned basic table etiquette.
THANK YOU. Amen!
I prefer a controversal (but polite) discussion at the table anytime over people who stare at their phone 🙂
@ Phones at the table are a NO, full stop. That shouldn't even need to be said.
Bravo!❤
@BReihleEtiquette would not deem phones at table acceptable 😉
"Shitty wine", so elegant 😂
My father was a diplomat so we learned table manners very early. Thank you.
I am an old school person & it breaks my heart to see how the young generation doesn’t even care anymore. What a pity.
I didn’t know about the upside down spoon & fork.
I have never seen it, although we have dined in many embassies. But, beautiful.
You had to put them upside down if and when your family crest was on the back of the cutlery, or also if your cutlery was coming from a famous orfèvre maker.
My Edwardian-era grandmother taught me similar rules of table etiquette. What seemed extraneous at the time turned out to be very useful later on in life.
the concept of your grandmother being alive during the edwardian era is so strange to me. wow
I believe when you’re eating a soup, you need to tilt the plate outward (from yourself), not inward.
It seems to be a difference in table manners between French and British heritage - you have the keys to behave in both settings 😊👌
@MademoiselleSpends Canadian here with British heritage but French husbands (one at a time haha)... I was taught to tip toward myself but have no idea where it came from! It was probably my very elegant and refined first French mother-in-law (from Paris but with French and Swiss parents).
In Central Europe, we're taught to tilt the plate outward too. I wouldn't say we completely follow the British etiquette, though. What surprised me was the placing of the cutlery in the middle of the meal: we are taught that the cutlery shouldn't touch the table, it should be rested (at the 8:20 position) ON the plate. What was shown in the video makes a very relaxed impression, not to say informal :-) Lovely how the "rules" vary throughout countries.
I was taught to never tilt the bowl. Just leave it. Some times it is just too good to waste though.😊
only in anglosaxon cultures
I believe the debate over corks vs screwcaps is evolving, with more and more wineries embracing screwcaps to reduce the occurrence of bad corks spoiling the wine.
i guess it is just cheaper ))
No, corks have contaminated wine. The quality has taken a turn. Do some research on this.
@stella-gx8ne hahah they tell you whatever is better and cheaper for the industry . Hundreds of year it was good and suddenly it became bad?
@ludmilaivanova1603 corked wine has always been a problem
All New Zealand wine has a screw lid and our wine is great!
How adorable is the little dog napping between the cushions!
I agree!
@MademoiselleSpends I noticed the adorable pup too!!! Lovely addition to a beautifully elegant presentation!!! Warmest wishes from Northern California. New subscriber as of today!! ❤🤍💙
The best part of the video is when the sweet doggie enters. He doesn’t care that mommy is making a video. He wants to be close. 💕💕💕💕💕 so precious how he sleeps
What a delicate, beautifully danced Ballet. You make everything look so easy!
So glad you enjoyed it! 😊
Thank you for pointing out that filling classes is not proper; I worked for a caterer serving at weddings and so many guests would get angry at me for not filling glasses to the top, as though I were somehow ripping them off. We only had the wines that the host bought and paid for, not a bottomless number of barrels. I was shocked at how rude and grasping people could be.
Rudeness is popular these days, and people don't seem to know better. Desastrous!
woooow. I realize how many of these were normal table/social etiquette in my family..... and not in many other homes I experienced in my adult life. Hehe.
Thanks for this reminder of dinner etiquette with French charm.
Melania's pic is the standard one. You don't keep your fingers around the goblet. You hold the stem. That's the purpose of the stem of the wine glass. Unless you want to warm up the contents of your glass with the temperature of your hand, or you're not confident that your grip is secure enough.
FM
I'm surprized that most of the things my grandmother taught me in Venezuela are exactly the same as your grandmother taught you in France 😊. Except for the cutlery being presented downwards on the table and the pinkie finger sticking out with the small cup all the rest is the same! ❤ Grannies rock! ❤❤❤
Le couvert vers la table en France (monogramme visible), l’inverse en Angleterre (monogramme de l’autre côté du couvert)
I was taught to tilt the soup bowl away from you to get the last of the soup.
I was in a super expensive restaurant in Paris that had no prices on the menu. My boss took me there for " job well done " during my orthopedic residency. Anyway, I was 23 yo and took the wrong fork out of the 5 forks lined up and the wrong knife too!! The waiter was horrified to see that and SHOWED IT QUITE RUDELY and I was so sad that I had taken the wrong knife and fork!! I wish your video was available then... THANK YOU. I can certainly pick the right scalpel tho. 🤣
@r.p.8906 Now that was not good manners or etiquette from the waiter.
Sweetie, the waiter was a jerk. There is no right or wrong way to use a unensil and only the shallow and uncouth think there is. Your waiter was a barbarian and you should have let them know. You are the one doing the eating, and as long as you don't put your feet on the table you can eat stake with a desert spoon if you wish. Anyone telling you there is a proper way to set a table, place a fork or napkin should stick to being a waiter and let the rest of us eat. There is nothing useful you can learn from etiquette videos apart from how to be vukgar
While it's a bit of a mistake to use the wrong ustensil, it is a huge mistake to correct someone on how to do it at the table.
Our soup spoons are a different shape. They are rounded and we sip from the side. We take the spoon to the back before lifting to the mouth and we do the same if we have too much on our spoon plus it stops any drips. We tilt from the front when the bowl is nearly empty. We use our knives and forks in the same way. When finished we place cutlery either to the side or the centre with the prongs or tines upward. It is interesting how different cultures have different ways. I did learn quite a lot. I always have a special dinner for 14th July so will putting what I learnt into play. Loved your video.
The waiter would have been more gracious had he just smiled sincerely and let you get on with enjoying your meal.
Great video. Good manners and table etiquette really come down to consideration of others and common sense.
This was a fun video! You table setting is beautiful...such lovely dishes! Thank you for sharing!
Glad you enjoyed it!
I think serving tea with teabags is bad manners. It should be ready made with loose leaf tea in the pot and a tea strainer provided. But then I’m English not French. Thank you for an interesting video. Much the same as my country, a few differences though. And just to say, tea comes in a pot, milk in a jug.
Vous avez raison, le thé en sachet à ce niveau de ‘standing » est une énorme faute de goût (si je puis dire😅)servir du thé en dehors d’une théière avec des vraies feuilles de thé: je ne pourrais plus! Comme beaucoup de français de souche populaire, mes parents ne connaissaient pas le thé mais le café avec de la chicorée. Mais j’ai appris à connaître le thé ,et les règles d’infusions au minimum; (et surtout pas un thé parfumé )mais à savoir déguster les divers types et jardins.Loin d’une « cérémonie du thé »que je ne maîtriserais pas, à vouloir imiter maladroitement nos amis asiatiques..
Et bien entendu, je serais aussi mal à l’aise au cours d’un repas de ce niveau; d’ailleurs qui peut se permettre un service à plusieurs plats et plusieurs vins? Restons honnêtes, il s’agit aussi d ‘un savoir vivre d’un certain cercle . Et pour le reste, si ces règles sont communes à plusieurs pays occidentaux, c’est qu’ils sont issus d’une aristocratie qui se côtoyait en dehors des guerres😢.
Gardons le savoir vivre, mais ne soyons pas rigides avec l’ »étiquette » et profitons du partage d’un repas en « bonne franquette » en mettant à l’aise tous les convives.❤
@jenanization The French are a bit awkward with tea. Much of the time when they are serving tea, it’s actually an herbal infusion. And tea bags are mostly what you’ll find.
Yes, I too found it curious that after such a delightful display of good manners at the table, a host or hotess would want to serve tea in a teabag! Teapot and tea leaves always - and that goes for herbal infusions too surely? Also, lifting the little finger when drinking from a cup is - to my British upbringing but I am half Italian too - really 'plouc' :)
Un grand plaisir de voir toutes ces leçons de ma mère expliquées dans ce vidéo. J ' ai continué ses traditions. . Elle est décédée récemment. Je suis soulagée d'apprendre que ces manières de table continuent d'être enseignées et pratiquées. Mille mercis!
Oui je suis d’accord et ces manières sont importantes. Je les ai transmises à mes enfants qui se sentent à l’aise partout où ils vont et croyez moi, les gens remarquent tout de suite la difference. Merci à vous pour cette video
@solangelauthier2381you are not wrong. This video was quite helpful and appreciated.
Elle fait assez des fautes....
Lots of good info here. I grew up knowing to put the tea bag on the tea bag dish. They are usually small and cute and keep the saucer from becoming messy. The wine holder or dish is also a must in order to protect table cloths 😄👍 I’m sharing this video with my teen daughter to show how I am not a nut, this is real and shows elegance. Thank you for making the video.
When my mom taught us she made it fun...who can walk around the living room balancing a book on their head the longest, identifying a fish knife, etc. The rule my brother & I HATED though, was "no fooling at the table". Mum's line was "how can you marry royalty if you don't go to my finishing school"? 😂
Thank you - brilliant intro, especially for people who want to enter into diplomacy! Love the doggy who decided to insert himself throughout!
It was really useful and exciting information. Thank you!
Thank you, I'm so glad you found it useful! ❤️
It is so enjoyable for me to hear you. I am Australian but my mum lived in France for years and she imparted many of these insights into French manners and the ideal of elegance. Thankyou!
Years ago we were at a celebratory dinner at a special restaurant. It was a very large group so it wasn’t surprising that my place setting was shy the soup spoon. I tried to discreetly get my waiter’s attention, but he never made eye contact. By the time my table mates had finished their soup and servers were serving the next course at the table next to us, I decided to be rude and use my dessert spoon to get at least a taste of what my husband said was an excellent dish. The waiter who had avoided me for half an hour swooped in grabbed my soup and proceeded to exclaim that I couldn’t have anything else to eat because I was a cretin. Another celebrant interceded with the Maitre’D, explaining the missing spoon. The apologetic gentleman served our table for the rest of the evening
Never polite to correct someone else's manners, esp in a public setting.
@johnmcglynn4102 My husband specifically requested a salad fork rather than the giant pitch fork provided to which the French waiter had a hissy fit. This was at Disney Epcot, LOL!
So glad someone stuck up for you and explained you were not a cretin! 😆
@deborahmichele The waiter was inattentive. Sadly, tipping culture makes them more attuned.
@bettyir4302 That is horrible the waiter had no way of knowing nor should he care how you decide to eat something this especially as a person who has disability I know as I cannot always lift heavy cutlery.
A truly polite person with manners would never point out someone who isn’t followed the “rules” of social etiquette. Honestly, it’s all pomp and circumstance. People need to get over themselves and embrace that it’s much more important and respectful to be kind and not worry about how one “should” eat their food. Be grateful for the company and the food.
Well said! Maybe her grandmother forgot to teach her to respect her elders. Our first lady is not a drinker so it is understandable that she wouldn’t know how to hold a wine glass 🤷🏻♀️
not.
Exactly
Thank you for the joyful and casual way you present your videos, I like how you make fun of yourself at times and demonstrate what it to do. 😊
The cheers and clicking glasses was new information for me. I don’t think I have ever not clicked glass for cheers unless unable to reach someone
Good manners are always based on considerations for others. Nice video! Well done and entertaining.
Lovely to see you back, Ariane. And looking so happy! 😊 I live in Australia, and was raised by my grandmother who strongly believed in etiquette and good manners. Her motto was “manners cost nothing.” I believe the same and have passed this on to my 4 grown up sons. They also have impeccable table manners. It’s disappointing to see how laid back some people have become. Perhaps they don’t consider it is also a sign of respect to take a little more care
Interesting video, thank you. I am German and about 50 years old. In my family we are used to hold wine glasses by the stem, because we put the glasses gently together while toasting and want them to make a nice little sound. The other etiquette habits are quite the same. The choice of the wine depends on the course. Usually fish dishes go with white wine while red wine is served with pork, beef or game. My mother tought me always to clean the mouth with the napkin before drinking from a wine glass. It is interesting to see that dinner etiquette is in general quite similar throughout Europe.
Thank you so much for this video - it was incredibly helpful and comforting at the same time.
For many of us who didn’t have a parent, mentor, or anyone to teach us table manners and etiquette growing up, you truly feel like the guidance we never had. In a way, you’re replacing that role for us, and I’m deeply grateful for that.
Your English is beautiful, clear, and easy to understand, and the way you explain everything makes etiquette feel approachable, not intimidating. I especially loved that you actually ate and drank while explaining, instead of keeping everything purely theoretical like so many etiquette videos do. That made such a huge difference and helped everything click.
Please make more videos like this, maybe with different dishes, meals, or dining situations. I would absolutely love to learn more from you.
Thank you again - this truly means a lot 🤍
Great video, thank you for sharing.
About serving champagne especially at sitdown dinner, I go by the suggestion of Maximilian Riedel, CEO of the Riedel wine glassware company: "The flute is best for toasting, whereas the Champagne Wine Glass allows the range of aromas of champagne to unfold in a way which is not possible with a narrow flute. It is a glass designed to elevate much more than simply the bubbles in champagne or sparkling wines. Rather than thin like a flute, it more closely resembles a white wine glass.The larger rim diameter of the Champagne Wine Glass enables a wide range of aromatics to be presented to the drinker in a way that is simply not achievable with a narrow glass. The bowl envelops the bouquet, allowing complex layers to intensify. A sparkling point in the bottom of the bowl helps to maintain effervescence without concentrating on it, delivering a softer feel in the mouth and enhancing the richness and depth of flavor."
And since I don't currentyly have the specific Riedel champagne wine glasses in my cupboard, and since I hardly serve champagne when having friends for non-celebratory dinners chez moi, I use white wine glasses in serving bubbles when I have to.
Basically, the coup was replaced by the flute at some point and now we're living at a time when the flute is being replaced by the "tulip" form which in my opinion is GREAT! And at normal occasions, simple white wine glass is fine.
Wickers World did a long interview with a French Count whose wife’s family owned Mőet et Chandon and I was interested to see that during the course of their meal they drank champagne from glasses rather like those you describe.
@solangelauthier2381 I quoted Maximilian Riedel and he was talking about the RIEDEL Champagne Wine Glasses that come in 4 different choices: Vinum, Veloce, Veritas and Dom Perignon. And they indeed all look like white wine glasses with no similarity at all to the coupe, which, if you didn't know and if I may digress, was the glass for bubbles to look chic and elegant through the 1960's - when I wasn't old enough to enjoy them.
Before jumping in to comment, you really should let your fingers work a bit to Google.
@solangelauthier2381 Know your antiques? Fine...cheers!...however delusional, self-aggrandizing you are! But the fact is, contrary to what you're claiming here that you "have inherited both (19th century) [coupe and flute]", there are history sources on champagne glassware that put the coupe's emergence as a favorite for bubbles in the 1800s and the flute only around the 1920s. in other words, the flute isn't as old as the coupe.
As for "traditions" - French or otherwise - most of them tend to end up being personal affectations as time goes by or when newer lifestyle and cultural ideas come up.
Russian here. Some differences:
1. A lady may briefly rest her elbows on the table, but placing hands on the lap isn’t really acceptable
2. The wine glass is held by the stem, forks rest with tines facing up
3. Sticking out one’s pinkie is deemed inelegant and ridiculous
As for tea. Buns and cream cakes are less about morning vs evening, and more about cozy tea time at grandma’s home vs a rendez-vous at a cafe. If guests are expected, tea is brewed in a teapot. But even if a tea bag is used, it must never, NEVER be squeezed with a spoon, like a hanged criminal!
Wow (Russian here)! Great points. Though I really enjoyed the episode, the pinkie sticking out surprised me too.
@solangelauthier2381 Ihave never seen progs down in France,I live here since 30 years and have seen many many many grandes tables.The gal just red in the book of french étiquette
Russian rules are just like Polish ones
Same in Brazil, but my mom taught me to rest my fork the French way , tines facing down when finished, although Brazilians usually do it like the Russians... tines facing up. As for the rest, the very same rules apply.
Tea should always be brewed in a teapot!!!!!
Hermoso me recordó las instrucciones que me dio mi Padre educado por una institutriz francesa, y nos transmitió con mucho amor y me fueron muy útiles a toda mi vida❤muchísimas Graciassss
Thank you for your post, Compliments for your English !
Thank you for showing us traditional French dinning manner. Different countries have different manners. It is always good to learn so that we don't embarrass ourselves. 😉
How about constantly touching your hair at the table?
BTW- I worked a dozen years at a 5 star in Philadelphia and we placed the silverware “upside down” because it was marked
“Christophle” and displaying the logo would be gauche, like wearing your clothing inside out, to show the label. The reason glasses are faceted is to hide fingerprints.If the glasses are clear and unadorned, don’t be a child, or a slave to manners, pick them up by stem. And if you’re wearing lipstick, PICK ONE AREA OF THE GLASS TO SIP FROM.
BTW the chef I worked for received the Merit D’Agricole
for representing, and promulgating French culture.
Regarding the forks, she explained it correctly. The family monogram must be visible. In France they place it in the back and the forks are placed in a prone position. In Germany, the monogram is in the front and forks are positioned supine…
@SFV4feel better now?
@williamwoody7607I sense some frustration! Take a deep breath
@SFV4LOL-you live for that last word huh? Get it in Tina, if it’s that important to you. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.
I love the way you tell a story, nice, lovely, very simple but full of information needed. Thanks for sharing.
Brigitte Macron holds her glass of white wine the wrong way. She is warming up the bowl of the glass with her hands. Melania is holding it the right way, by the stem. 😝
Exactly.
Yes, agreed.
Madame Macron has a very different glass than that other person, she is totally correct-
Thank you. Loved the subject.
Love your channel, your wonderful manners and comfortable presentation!
Other hosts say that you should never have your hands under the table. So what is correct?
Italians put their hands on the table. Age old….. no weapons. Like age old, not a mafia thing.
As a Canadian I find most of this as expected with 2 exceptions.
Firstly, I would scoop my soup spoon away from myself and then drink from the side of the spoon.
Second, I have been taught to dab my mouth before sipping from my glass to avoid leaving unsightly food smudges on the edge of the glass from my lips.
It is not only Canadian. We in Europe do it too.
@lynnm.wheaton1559Absolutely perfect French etiquette!
This is exactly how I was brought up by my parents in New Zealand. I’m 70 and now people are much more casual. Soup was different. At the end of the bowl you tip it away from you for the last mouthful.
A slice of cheese from a round should always be cut to keep the nose pointed. Only take one chocolate!
And finally, everyone should remember: this is ✨fancy✨ dinner etiquette. This is NOT how the average French person/family dines.
Even with my own French grandmother, who had the full silverware drawer and put “les petits plats dans les grands”, it was never this fancy or complicated. In my 35 years of French/Parisian life, I’ve never had to deal with so much cutlery and glasses, not even at weddings. It might be more usual for upper class peeps, but not for normal plebeians like myself.
That is to say: this is nice to know, but don’t fret. As long as you don’t stick your fingers into the food, don’t talk with your mouth full, don’t spill stuff all over others, and DO sit appropriately, nobody will mind if you use the same damn glass for all different drinks (just don’t mix them together lol) 😊 Eventually good manners if about making everyone feel easy and comfortable, to be neither crass nor stuffy.
Absolutely!
@MademoiselleSpends dejarse la comida a medias SI que es de mala educación
It’s actually important to know what the standard is so you know just how far you have deviated from it.
@DiegoHerranz-mw1jl : It's not always viewed as "bad education", it's very culture related. And sometime it's even considered rude to fully finish your plate as it might mean that you didn't had enough.
My grand mother use to say that "the height of politeness is, when in Rome, do as the Romans do". And she would add "And if it means to eat with your fingers and slurping you soup, do it. And put your education in your pocket with your handkerchief on top of it." 😆
My parents raised us “practicing” these types of etiquette habits at our regular family meals at home. They often said it was because “Some day you will be invited to eat with your future in laws without knowing it!” I’m thankful that it was introduced to me in such a low stakes setting, because now it is ingrained as more normal manner of eating, and I can enjoy dining without the mental labor of juggling rules.
Thank you, great video!)
The soup spoon looks more like an English dessertspoon.
Don't struggle with the word! Just say "aerate." Oxygenate is more technical term about actively putting oxygen into something. Anyway, after the first glass, everyone fumbles their words!
The metal tray is called a wine coaster in English. They are very handy, but if you don't have one, you can put a little napkin bib on the bottle.
I hate drinking sparkling wine out of coupes. I much prefer flutes.
I was taught to eat soup from the side of the spoon, not the end.
The "milk pot" is called a "creamer."
I think it's really nice that you pointed out that it's an overall impression that you're committed to having good manners, and not a precise protocol that you have to be overly concerned about not breaching. It's ok to forget something. It's ok if your country's etiquette is a little different. But following the rules broadly will send a message of goodwill to your hosts.
Thanks for your video!
Or even easier is for the wine to "breathe" 🙂
In England, a milk pot is called a milk jug.
@eshaibraheem4218 Same in the US if it's the full size you'd have in your refrigerator. The small size for milk or cream for coffee that you'd serve guests is a creamer.
@ Definitely works!
@nycp1969 No matter
how small, it's a milk jug in England. We don't put cream in our tea, and I don't put cream in my coffee, but milk. You drink more coffee in the US than we do in the UK, though we are catching up, and perhaps Starbucks serves cream, along with its syrups, etc., but I've never been to one. (It is probably under boycott by now!) Sometimes I think our two nations are confused by cream and milk, the latter sometimes having cream at the top of the bottle. Now I'm aging myself, the days of milk bottles having long passed: cartons now.🌹
This is so perfect I was trying to figure out how to show my sons a third party example of how they should be at the table. I was taught many of these things but some new ones I really enjoyed and appreciate can’t wait to implement them! Thank you!
Enjoyed this video! Interesting to hear about the French and their great manners at a meal. Thank you for your demonstration!!❤
This was so interesting! Thank you for sharing it
Can I just say how perfect your teaching style is!! I'm amazed and so much attracted to learning REAL french traditions. Please keep posting such videos because they are so refreshing from all those "know it all, but don't know a single thing" kinda stuff. Lots of love. ❣
Thank you so much for your kind words, I am really happy I can be of help in your learning 😊♥️
Yes, if you can find a French person to whom what she is talking about is a familiar "tradition" Ive got a tower in Paris you might be interested in buying
Never never place a napkin on the chair or back of a chair..always on the table to the left of your plate...sorry, but that is how it is done.
@solangemooney1107 - which is exactly the placement she demonstrated, at no time did she suggest "putting one's napkin on one's chair".
@ No, its not. There simply is no way 'it is done' and anyone who thinks there is, or cares, should look at whats stuck up their ludicrous back sides rather than placed on a table, chair or on the moon
And we don't lift the littlest finger when holding a cup 😊
oh please. You need to watch La cage aux folles!!
@r.p.8906 😂
I love your curls. 🌸. In America I have been taught that when eating soup you spoon the soup away from yourself to avoid spilling soup on yourself and to sip the soup from the side of the spoon for the same reason. It’s lovely to see you back. 🩷
Thank you 👩🏻🦱♥️ I didn’t know about this. I looked it up, and it seems it’s British inherited!
My grandma taught me this as well. She said, “as the ship sails out to sea, the ships sails away from me” ❤
I learned to eat soup the same way, slide the spoon away from you especially when you are almost finished with the dish. I find it easier to see how much is left in the bowl & therefore, I have less dripping off my soup when I bring it up to my mouth.
In UK also - tilt away from yourself.
I had learned it as, “like a ship goes out to sea, I dip my soup away from me.”
Very useful and helpful... Thank You !
Always good to review these lessons. Thank you!💕
Excellent! Also, now I'm hungry and in need of a French friend to host this exact dinner! 😆
I’ll have to organize one 🫶
Bonus: you never wear a watch to an event as that indicates that you are counting the time until you can leave.
When I have dinner guests, I wear a watch and count the time for the guests to leave. 😂😂😂
Oooh. Good one!
Wow!
Charmingly presented. A tip you may like for red wine: I neatly tie a quality paper napkin around the neck of the bottle of red wine so the drip catches in the napkin.🍷🍷 Then it doesn't spoil the tablecloth.
Normally if the wine has not been decanted and served from a carafe, would have a regular napkin available to catch drip and wipe the bottle edge.
Loved this! I learned a lot. Your English is so good. Merci
Glad you enjoyed the video! 😊
So detailed and fun! It's neat to notice little differences between French and English dining style.
I am from Colombia, and I learned those manners in my childhood. The only thing different was the silverware wouldn’t be set downward. 😊
This was easy to follow, and it seems to have added to my table manners for a mant course meal. Never growing up with wine being served, it will help a great deal. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, this was divine, really helpful. It doesn't matter a/b opinion, if you're at a table of a Persian, THIS is how you behave. So generous, thank you, thank you for this video, perfection.❤
Fascinating! Merci! ❤ 😊
Ótimas dicas, aprender nunca é demais muito obrigada! ❤🩷🤍🍽️🍸
Watching this I was brought up well.
Everything you have shown is what I was taught.
‘Like the ships that go to sea, I dip my spoon away from me’. Or something like that :-). A tea bag in a cup rather than a proper teapot?? Quelle horreur.
I think it would not surprise anyone to learn that good table manners carry through many western cultures. That good host and guest etiquette are very similar. Hospitality and gracious receiving are more relaxed in familiar settings, and that being respectful on both sides is always very much appreciated on both sides. Bon appetit and thank you for such a lovely demonstration of formal western table manners. As an aside, I have also heard about the origins of the Champagne coupe....quite titillating!
It's actually very tacky to say "bon appetit".
Wonderful lovely. Thank you.
Fascinating and I enjoyed it.
5:34 Use the stem if the wine is chilled. You don’t want the heat from your palm to warm the wine in the glass. But yes, for room temperature wines (reds), hold it by the bowl
You should change your picture on the video. The french woman was holding her glass by the bell...fine, but the American woman was holding it by the stem, because it was white wine and we do not like the warmth of our fingers to heat the wine.
Bravo!❤
The same in America. The lady in the picture is our
First Lady Melania
@keybee2025 well spotted
It’s interesting we have a lot of French etiquette in Sweden but there are some marked differences 1) the crests are on the up side and thus that is how the cutlery is placed, 2) soup spoons are smaller and more eggshaped and you eat the soup at a slight angle so neither French nor Brittish style. 3) you indicate that you are NOT finished by placing the cutlery to the side in the French way and that you are by turning the cutlery the other way. 4) we do not raise the finger when drinking tea or coffee anymore as that was a fashion during a time to show that you did not have syphilies and after a while it became gauche, fell out of fashion. We never did agree on whether a man should go before or after a lady on the stairs in Sweden ie to go ahead and defend her but on the other hand present your back and backside to the lady Brittish influence or defend her back and thus risking looking up her skirts French.
You have no space between saucer and handle to spread your fingers, that's why.
About the stairs: a man should always go behind the lady up and in front down : in order to catch her in case she stumbles! Not to defend her! 😂
J'ai aime beaucoup votre guide. Et je vous merci infiniment.❤
I learned never to hold cold wines by the top part..it warms the drink up!