The TRUTH about being a writer AND a mom - what I've learned in the last two years [day in the life]
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- Опубликовано: 17 дек 2023
- Being a full time mom AND author has unique challenges but has been an awesome two years! Here's a break down of how the last two years of being a mama writer has been going.
Happy Sleeper book (not an affiliate link, just really love it): www.amazon.com/Happy-Sleeper-...
Mama Writer playlist: • Writing a Book with a ...
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📖 T H E Q U E E N ' S R I S E S E R I E S :
◦ THE SECRET GIFT: books2read.com/thesecretgift
◦ THE SECRET SHADOW: books2read.com/thesecretshadow
◦ THE SECRET CURSE: books2read.com/thesecretcurse
📚 T H E S T O L E N K I N G D O M S E R I E S :
www.bethanyatazadeh.com/thest...
◦ COLLECTOR'S EDITION / BOX SET: amzn.to/34A9wFw
◦ THE SECRET GIFT: books2read.com/thesecretgift
◦ THE STOLEN KINGDOM: books2read.com/thestolenkingdom
◦ THE JINNI KEY: books2read.com/thejinnikey
◦ THE CURSED HUNTER: books2read.com/thecursedhunter
◦ THE ENCHANTED CROWN: books2read.com/theenchantedcrown
◦ The Stolen Kingdom Audiobook: www.audible.com/pd/B088FVQNJK...
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📖 B E C O M E A P A T R O N :
Where you can receive digital early reader copies of my books, writing & publishing advice, help with your author platform, meet writer friends, and more!
/ bethanyatazadeh
💻 M Y A U T H O R N E W S L E T T E R :
Sign up for FREE exclusives (the first HALF of The Stolen Kingdom + a step-by-step self-publishing guide): www.bethanyatazadeh.com/contact
❤️ M Y M E R C H :
teespring.com/stores/bethanya...
📚 M Y S E L F P U B L I S H I N G C O U R S E :
www.udemy.com/course/novel-se...
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📒 M Y O T H E R W O R K :
◦ EVALENE'S NUMBER: amzn.to/3sZPlKi
◦ PEARL'S NUMBER: amzn.to/3Kyp63Q
◦ MARKETING FOR AUTHORS SERIES: amzn.to/3pTrbPG
◦ THE CONFIDENT CORGI: amzn.to/36aJd9m
◦ Novel Planner Notebook (mug cover): amzn.to/3hYnzYo
◦ Novel Planner Notebook (laptop cover): amzn.to/3KwvW9Z
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❤️ C O M P A N I E S I L O V E & A M A N A F F I L I A T E F O R :
◦ PUBLISH AND THRIVE: heartbreathings.teachable.com...
◦ WRITING STICKERS & the book launch planner (10% off discount code is BETHANY10): stoneridgestickers.com/?ref=Q...
◦ EPIDEMIC SOUND (where I get my music! If you'd like to try it for a month, using this link gives me a free month! Thank you in advance!): www.epidemicsound.com/referra...
◦ DRAFT2DIGITAL: www.draft2digital.com/bethany...
💬 L E T ' S C O N N E C T 💬
Website | www.bethanyatazadeh.com
Instagram | / authorbethanyatazadeh
RUclips | / bethanyatazadeh
Patreon | / bethanyatazadeh
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Thanks for watching!
❤️ Bethany
Note: some of these links are affiliate links and will support me with a little extra income at no extra cost to you. :)
#Authortube #NovelWriting #SelfPublishing 
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Oh man. I so feel you! My daughter is 6 and I had to talk to my therapist ad nauseum about how to self care. I’m introverted and a home body and want to do my creative things. As she got older and no longer napped, I had to learn how to get her to respect quiet time and mommy alone time. I love how real this video is and makes me appreciate you even more ❤
That makes total sense, and love that you guys have found a way to have that valuable quiet time that I'm sure helps you both! Thank you for the encouragement, so happy you liked the video!
I could have made this video 15 years ago! I started writing when my kids were young - flexibility was key. And setting goals, but holding them loosely. It's totally normal to feel pulled in so many directions. You have such a short time with your kids at home. Just know it is possible to slowly build a successful author business while raising kids, especially when you have a supportive spouse. There might be faster ways, but no business success will ever top the joy of seeing your kids grow up 😊.
Love that! Thank you so much for sharing!
It's hard knowing the right way to have child care but glad you are figuring things out that work for you!
It really is! Thank you so much!
So glad you made this video. Here I am nursing my newborn and trying to raise a toddler, wondering why I can't get anything done! My writing has taken a major backseat, and I think I need to give myself grace in this season. I really can't do it all, and I don't have the help to watch my kids for me. The mom guilt is real. But I'm encouraged to know I'm not alone and it's normal to feel this way in this season.
My husband and I had opposite schedules, he worked at night and watched the girls during the day while I was at work for my 6 hours. It was such a gift, mentally, to know that they were safe at home. Now that they are 13 and 9 I feel like it has helped shape the good girls they are since we’ve been around so much.
That's so cool to hear!
Zion got so big. 😊 Time really flies.⏰ So sorry about the daycare incident. You did the right thing by taking him out of there. Also, really cool that your books are in a BN store. So far, I at least got a copy of my debut book in a public library. I hope to get some of my books in stores someday.
It really does go by so fast! Thank you for the encouragement! And it's definitely fun seeing the books in a bookstore but from experience I can say it gets expensive haha, they always order too many and then return a chunk after a few months, and it costs double what the books normally cost me, so it's usually a few hundred dollars expense! Just something to keep in mind, libraries are much better because they're not going to return the book haha!
Motherhood really is a process of trial and error and realizing no one has it all figured out. It is a constant cycle of change and adaptation, which is really hard for us that thrive on schedules and routines. Being a mom has seriously been the hardest thing I have ever done and am still doing! I agree with you that we don't talk about the good enough. We all need to step back and recognize the things we have learned and the skills we have earned and the growth that has happened as we try to survive raising little humans. Thanks Bethany your videos never fail to give me peace and validation and motivation to keep pushing. As a mom of four 7 years and under, every day feels like a battle, and every day, I get burnt out. Never feel guilt for needing that time for yourself! I am still trying to remember that most days. Sending love to all of you who are still working on your passions while juggling other responsibilities. You got this!
So true! Thanks for the encouragement Elizabeth, I'm so happy you enjoyed the video and hope you give yourself lots of grace during the season with young kids, you've got this too!
THIS!!! A thousand time over! I wish I'd had a friend like you when mine were little. They're currently 13, 11, & 9 and I so often feel LOST! Thank you for this video! This is why you're my favorite! 💛
Thank you so much Lili! That means so much to hear!
Wow...that ending got me and i'm not even a mom❤YES, focus on the positive and YES Zion's story is the best story you and your husband will write! Then Zion will take the pen and finish writing his story just the way you taught him❤all for God's glory!!
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!
So appreciate you sharing all of this! I'm a first-time mom to an almost 6 month old and it was just a few weeks before I got pregnant that I'd started working on my first book. I still DESPERATELY want to write / do other creative endeavors that fill my cup but I'm alone most of the day and live in an area where it's hard to get help (no family close by, limited access to childcare services etc). My baby also has serious FOMO and outright refuses to nap, so I have almost no time to myself during the day.
I cherish every moment with my daughter and, like you, have had tremendous guilt over taking care of myself... let lone taking time to write. I keep telling myself that writing's not a 'necessity' and that I'm not even a real writer. This video reminds me that we're in a season where she needs me full-time and that won't be forever! Ultimately, keeping my focus on her is the most important thing I can do... but I can also be better at asking for help that's available and not being so hard on myself about my desire to continue to create.
I love everything you wrote, that's exactly the encouragement I would've written to you but it sounds like you already know it and just need to continue internalizing it. :) You've got this!
I love this all of this video - just yes. You’ve put to words how I’ve felt as a creative momma. 😍👏🏻
Oh thank you so much!
You have a wonderful mindset, Bethany. I noticed that Zion's eyes are your colour 🥰 and he's so full of energy yet so polite and well spoken. He IS your best creation❣Have a fabulous Christmas and New Year🎄🎅
Thank you so much! He absolutely is, thank you, and Merry Christmas / Happy New Year to you too! :)
Beautiful update! Thank you.
Thank you so much Mary! 🥰
It's so awesome seeing you in your daily life Bethany!
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the video!
Im not a mom (wanna be so bad but pcos has prevented me from it so far) but i understand a bit of where youre coming from. It definitely sounds like a lot to deal with once you have a kid. For me since im blessed to be home all the time and be a full time author i realized that i feel guilty if i take time off so i work and work and got to where i burned myself out really bad because i felt obligated to over work since i was at home as a full time author but my husband is helping me understand its okay to take a night off here and there and take time to myself. So im glad to hear youre finding your pace and learning to be okay with time to yourself. Youve come a long way and should be so proud
I have PCOS as well, and yet I was still able to have Zion, so don't lose hope! It's so tough when the timing isn't what we'd like, but I believe it's possible for you! And also very much understand feeling guilty about not working, but so glad your husband is encouraging you to take care of yourself - that should be our top priority over work for sure!
@BethanyAtazadeh thank you for your words of encouragement. It does help seeing other women like you who did have a child so it gives me hope. I just gotta try to wait for God's timing instead of my own (which is super hard for someone impatient like me lol).
You're slaying, girl! Never stop ❤❤
Aww thank you! :D
Oh my gosh he’s gotten so big! 😭 Love the honesty as always! Lovely video, happy holidays ❤
Thank you! So glad you enjoyed it, and you too!
Your baby boy is soooo adorable! Happy New Year fellow author ❤😊
Thank you so much! You too!
He's so big!!! So cute! Enjoy every moment❤Well done on your writing and God bless!
Thank you so much! :)
I love how you look at the positives of being a mom and a writer instead of focusing only on everything that is so difficult about juggling both! Thank you so much for this! It’s made me feel so much better about trying to do both 24/7. I don’t feel so alone anymore lol
Thank you so much! I’m so happy to hear the video was encouraging, you’re definitely not alone!
God bless your son!!! He's soooooooooooooooo adorable!!!
Thank you so much! :D
My kids stopped napping at 3 years of age and I still have them have “quiet time” so I can get work done. I agree that it is a sacred time and needs to be protected. ❤❤
Oh my gosh I've been nervous about when that happens for us, and I'm so encouraged to hear you still have that valuable quiet time and that it works for you! Thanks for sharing!
Enjoy this time. I blinked and mine are in college! Thank you for sharing!
I believe it! Thank you, glad you enjoyed the video!
Nap time and bedtime were sacred in my house and I didn't care what anyone thought because I needed to be sane. 😁
Haha YESSSS!! We are very similar, I so get that!
Yes to seasons & perspective ❤ much love Bethany, you’re doing great!
I dealt with massive separation anxiety with my babies, yet needed me time. I didn’t have good balance, it’s hard.
Thank you Katie! ❤ Yeah I know exactly what you're talking about, both needing to be with them and needing space all at once, it makes zero sense but it's so real haha! It helps me to realize it's a natural season that doesn't last, and now I'm trying to soak it up more before he gets older!
@@BethanyAtazadeh also, I’m so sorry about your daycare experience :( I’m glad yall are figuring out an alternative. I’ve thankfully had a good daycare experience 🤞
I have three boys, 3.5, 23 months and 8 months. I’m always feeling burnt out since I stay at home and we have no family or friends nearby. We get no help. I don’t have time to take a shower these days. It’s massively hard because I feel the urge to write but I never get to. And when I have “free time” I have to pump or clean or catch up on the needs of everyone else. I don’t know how to take care of myself right now. 😢 That said I love my kids so much and have no regrets. Just wish I knew how to be super mom. It would be nice to do things I love again…even for an hour
Totally understandable feelings! I hope you can find little pockets of time for yourself to refill the creative well, but also hope we both enjoy the season we're in as much as we can, since it really doesn't last that long in the grand scheme of things!
He is so adorable Bethany!
Thank you! ☺️
Thanks!
Thank you Jazzmine! :)
Oh my! I had to stop and comment before watching the rest of the video. Bethany, you listen to Maverick/Elevation worship? 😱Those groups are my jam! I love that song More than Able and so many other songs! 💙
I finished watching the video and loved what you said at the end about your baby boy being your best project. I'm not a Mom, but would like to be one day. I definitely fear not being able to pursue my writing passions like I want too, but to keep that perspective that your kids is ultimately your best project in life, oh, that's so beautiful! Thanks for taking the time to share with us, Bethany. I hope you have a Merry Christmas with your friends and family! 🎄
Haha yes! I love those songs, and More than Able is Zion's current favorite song that he asks for every day haha...
And I'm so happy to hear this video was encouraging for you, it's definitely awesome being a mom despite the challenges I wouldn't change it for anything! :) Hope you have a wonderful Christmas too!
This is so helpful because I'm about to have a baby in March and releasing my first book in January! 😮 😄 It's the first in a series so I've just been thinking about how in the world I will get the next one done. This was a great video because I think for me, it will be all about managing expectations and not putting unnecessary pressure on myself! Thank you for sharing Bethany!
Ooooh so exciting!! :D You can absolutely get it done! I think the first few months with a new little one were the most "up in the air" as far as finding time to write, but accepting that let me enjoy that time and then come back to writing when I was ready, so hope that's encouraging, and you've got this!
@@BethanyAtazadeh so encouraging! Thank you again! 😄
My son is 3, and also loves running circles hahaha. He's also started dropping his naps, I am soooo sad lmao.
Aww cute, love that! And bummer! I’m nervous about that stage, really hoping we can transfer to “quiet time” when we get there 😬
You made a point with saying things no to what you don't want to do. I remember at an interview (it was a set up since my mom knew the interviewer), the interviewer told my mom that I wouldn't be able to say no. Like, she's not wrong...I would feel guilty if I say no to things
Saying no, is hard, I agree! I think it’s actually a learn skill, and we get better at it as we use it. :)
7 children to 1 adult is crazy!! For us in the UK from birth to 2 it's 3 children to 1 adult. 2-3 is 5 children to 1 adult. And then 3-5 is 8 children to 1 adult. But that's so crazy as a baby 7 children to 1 adult is crazy!
This is exactly why it took me 4 years to finish the first draft of my first book 😅 When I started, I had an 18 month old and a3 year old. Both were starting to refuse naps, so naturally, that's when I decided to write a book! I think I was writing 2-3 hours, one day a week, at a coffee shop while my husband was off work.
Oh my gosh yes, totally relatable! I can only imagine the nap struggle, that's always been my biggest anxiety-inducing thing, but I'm working on beign more flexible haha... That's awesome that you were able to finish the book though, so exciting! :D
I don't have kids but I do have a very busy schedule and health issues. I'm only able to get in 3-4 hours a week right now. It can be so demoralizing to not have the time you need for your goals. We will survive
I have three boys, but I remember WELL the ups and downs of being a brand new mom. The MomGuilt, the lack of sleep. The struggles are very real. I tell everyone who asks, that the three things having kids teach you are:
How much you don't know.
What you're willing to do to get even a half hour of sleep.
And how much you truly need God's grace in your life.
But another one I don't often say, is you need to learn the art of giving grace to yourself! Because you are probably like most of us, and doing the best you can. Even if the best you can isn't where you think it should be.
Also, having a growth mindset is a good way of looking at everything you do. Whether that's learning a new craft, or doing this thing called life. Don't work toward perfection, but look toward growing as a person. As a woman. Especially a woman of faith and God.
Lastly, don't forget that life is a sequence of seasons. As you said, this is a season of life for you. And seasons come and go. And even though we only have 4 actual seasons, they can very easily look a little different each time we move through them.
Blessings this holiday season!
Rachael B
I love all of that, thank you for sharing Rachael!
Pulling Zion out of daycare was definitely the right decision! Hopefully you’re proud of yourself for that🫶
Thank you Amanda, I really appreciate that, and I absolutely agree!
Will Amazon pay for my free ebook?
How would you get paid on something that’s free?
When I had my daughter and I was writing, I had to do all my writing when she was asleep and I constantly had people telling me that I wasn't allowed to have time for me that everything had to be focused on her and people were telling me how I was going to dress her what I was going to feed her What kind of diapers I was going to put on her I was literally allowed no kind of choice whatsoever in regards to my daughter. That is till the day that I lost it literally blew up at everybody in the house and I picked my daughter up and took her in the bedroom with me close the door behind me and lock the door and told everybody that nobody was touching her for the next 48 hours and that I was doing it on by myself and everything else in the house, which wasn't my responsibility to begin with because I didn't own it I was just taking up space there, was somebody else's job and if it didn't get done it wasn't on me. As a mom I think we have to put those limits and those boundaries in place because if we don't people are going to walk all over us.
Oh wow sorry that people were trying to be so controlling but glad you were able to set boundaries!