My Girlfriend! | Jimmy Carr

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  • Опубликовано: 26 сен 2024
  • So apparently I mention my girlfriend a lot...here's a tribute to all the times i've given her a shout out over the years!
    The Official Channel for the biggest face in British comedy (literally the biggest face - it's like the moon.)
    For the latest tour dates and tickets: www.jimmycarr....
    #JimmyCarr #Comedy #StandUp

Комментарии • 275

  • @robertmuller9132
    @robertmuller9132 4 года назад +468

    Trust is most important. Without trust, how can you be sure she won't tell your wife?

    • @balasmj
      @balasmj 4 года назад +2

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @bankbucket2616
      @bankbucket2616 3 года назад +4

      as long as your wife doesnt go in the basement

  • @travisinhouston
    @travisinhouston 4 года назад +143

    Jimmy, in my darkest hour; you have made me laugh and feel better. I’ve listened to you on RUclips during my road trips and laughed so much. Thank You 👍🏻

    • @atop856
      @atop856 4 года назад +4

      Travis Wheat hope you’re alright now sir

    • @aceman0000099
      @aceman0000099 4 года назад +3

      I hope you haven't recovered mate 👍

    • @aliemadi1485
      @aliemadi1485 2 года назад

      @@aceman0000099 your sad aceman

    • @shadowbanned2596
      @shadowbanned2596 2 года назад

      Grow up hard times commenter

  • @beachgirl48
    @beachgirl48 3 года назад +29

    I think Ricky Gervais's girlfriend, Jane, and Jimmy's girlfriend could write a fabulous book. LOL

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 4 года назад +1250

    My girl was so bad at blowies that I married her to ensure I'd never have to receive one from her ever again.

  • @grf15
    @grf15 4 года назад +570

    I certainly hope his girlfriend has a sense of humor. Jimmy's comedy is pretty brutal sometimes.

    • @rocarlosdavis622
      @rocarlosdavis622 4 года назад +6

      I disagree...relieving yes but just not brutal like the #1 movie called 300..😥😘😇

    • @henrikhyrup3995
      @henrikhyrup3995 4 года назад +16

      "sometimes"??

    • @bennettlane4274
      @bennettlane4274 4 года назад +6

      And what makes you think this "girlfriend" actually exists :D

    • @joyre1679
      @joyre1679 3 года назад +14

      They've been together for 19 years. I'm guessing she likes him 😂

    • @thegrowsausage6605
      @thegrowsausage6605 3 года назад +1

      I think you spelt brilliant wrong.

  • @bboywProductions
    @bboywProductions 4 года назад +224

    Jimmy whoever is doing these thumbnails is doing man dirty yano 🤣

  • @nindraco3173
    @nindraco3173 4 года назад +258

    If Jimmy Carr offends you.
    Well, mission accomplished.

  • @jedgould5531
    @jedgould5531 4 года назад +31

    Saw Jimmy’s show from the front row and my phone rang. Started telling the audience no one ever calls me with my American accent, and he only asked if he could answer. Never did find out who called, but he selfied with me in the background, the only person not laughing. My ringer hasn’t been on since.

  • @muuuuuud
    @muuuuuud 4 года назад +57

    12 years? Have you developed an immunity to pepper spray yet Jimmy? :D

  • @In-the-year-2525
    @In-the-year-2525 4 года назад +16

    I WAS ONCE A MAN TRAPPED IN A WOMAN'S BODY, THEN MY MOTHER GAVE BIRTH!

  • @j0hnnyquango606
    @j0hnnyquango606 4 года назад +43

    “Maybe try the shocker, two in the pink, one in the stink”

    • @cylltndn7935
      @cylltndn7935 3 года назад

      What if its other way around?

  • @briggaskin
    @briggaskin 4 года назад +11

    Old but gold. Quality.

  • @kellingtonlink956
    @kellingtonlink956 4 года назад +8

    A brilliant mix. Thanks for the video

  • @lukarochon2700
    @lukarochon2700 4 года назад +218

    he feels to me like a bloated Lucifer😂

  • @Bladerxdxi
    @Bladerxdxi 4 года назад +18

    Finally someone with German Humor

  • @hadiisaboss5307
    @hadiisaboss5307 4 года назад +18

    I love watching him because I'm still amazed how he went to the same school as my mum when he was a kid

    • @nindraco3173
      @nindraco3173 4 года назад +1

      Was your mum the lunch lady?

  • @jasonforpresident5678
    @jasonforpresident5678 10 месяцев назад

    4:43 the anger lmao

  • @SML1010THAI
    @SML1010THAI 4 года назад +10

    This guy is brilliant 😂😂😂👌🇬🇧

  • @octavianionescu5625
    @octavianionescu5625 4 года назад +15

    10:25 mind giving me a hand?

  • @IIDBTechII
    @IIDBTechII 4 года назад +15

    I couldn't find a way to insult how obnoxious the thumbnail is so here is a Dr. Seuss inspired poem:
    "Some are up close, some from afar, I want them to know that I am Jimmy Carr,
    Maybe my face, maybe add a grin, make me look like the third Bugdanoff twin"

  • @YodaMan-420
    @YodaMan-420 4 года назад +177

    ive often thought jimmy is gay. and just says "my girlfriend" to cover. kinda like nobody thought jons wife existed till she was on an episode of cats and we actually saw her unbound and not having an adverse reaction to the sun

    • @ChiSbaObePcheH11
      @ChiSbaObePcheH11 4 года назад +13

      I mean, there's actually pictures of them out together on the internet, her name is Karoline i think; but i get bi vibes from him anyway

    • @peterjoyfilms
      @peterjoyfilms 4 года назад +23

      Plenty of straight men are a bit effeminate

    • @edu-kt
      @edu-kt 4 года назад +15

      ...and by gay you mean he owns a coat?. Lol.

    • @gospodinblanco5138
      @gospodinblanco5138 4 года назад +1

      @@peterjoyfilms Where? lol

    • @georgeadams5390
      @georgeadams5390 4 года назад +18

      He's British so how can you tell. Sorry couldn't help it

  • @MikeHunt420
    @MikeHunt420 4 года назад +15

    i can tell frankie is writing some of these jokes

  • @drewlovelyhell4892
    @drewlovelyhell4892 4 года назад +40

    That's an incredibly unflattering thumbnail image.

  • @AliAbbas05
    @AliAbbas05 4 года назад +5

    He has an awesome sense of humor..very different

  • @Surv1ve_Thrive
    @Surv1ve_Thrive 4 года назад +45

    His laugh is like Eddie Murphy dressed as a seal being clubbed. Am getting used to it. Am fairly sure he developed it a few years into his act.

    • @wudupfammm8555
      @wudupfammm8555 4 года назад +1

      he made up or introduced that laugh in one show. its on utube but i dont remember which one.

  • @liamdoes8580
    @liamdoes8580 4 года назад +16

    That thumbnail startled me

  • @RobeonMew
    @RobeonMew 4 года назад +9

    5:03 gifs tell everyone how you feel about them

  • @QjuiceEPLE
    @QjuiceEPLE 4 года назад +27

    Long live King Carr! Those abortion jokes were brutal.

    • @Friendship1nmillion
      @Friendship1nmillion 4 года назад

      SHOULDN'T be encouraged!! Very insensitive, along with making "Jokes" about being a Pedophile. 👨‍⚖ "👨‍🎤->🙊" 🙄🤬

    • @Parkerlee1000
      @Parkerlee1000 4 года назад +5

      Someone hasn't got a sense of humour

  • @W42PZ
    @W42PZ 4 года назад +5

    Jimmy’s new teeth are hilarious! 🦷

  • @christopherbeattie3126
    @christopherbeattie3126 2 года назад

    Best comic now a days. Can get away with his Witt

  • @nickevershedmusic8927
    @nickevershedmusic8927 4 года назад +15

    Jimmies girlfriend sounds like a boyfriend, in fact he sounds like jimmy

  • @HelmetBlissta
    @HelmetBlissta 4 года назад +9

    Imagine being Jimmy's girlfriend

  • @samuellawrencesbookclub8250
    @samuellawrencesbookclub8250 4 года назад +19

    His girlfriend must have the thickest or thick skins

  • @MyMagicman3000
    @MyMagicman3000 4 года назад +1

    Its hard to resist such thumbnail like this one

  • @iamplay797
    @iamplay797 4 года назад +3

    lol jimmy is hilarious

  • @richmarsh5029
    @richmarsh5029 4 года назад +1

    Classic Jimmy

  • @zezezanotti9165
    @zezezanotti9165 4 года назад +26

    This is Stewie Griffin from Family Guy all grown up

  • @bligaderski
    @bligaderski 4 года назад +2

    I haven’t seen anyone else say it and I need it to be seen. Jimmy Carr looks like Ralph Fiennes but a little off. Like the beginning of Voldemort makeup.

  • @spadeghostvampire7777
    @spadeghostvampire7777 4 года назад +1

    That was really great! :)

  • @TrickyUtah
    @TrickyUtah 4 года назад +8

    This is the only 47 year old man i would allow yo hang out with me

  • @the-monkey-man3852
    @the-monkey-man3852 4 года назад +4

    Had my laughing for 14 minutes

  • @fahimahmed5046
    @fahimahmed5046 3 года назад

    Jimmy you're AWESOME 👏👍👏

  • @kaczan3
    @kaczan3 Год назад

    It feels like his "my girlfriend" jokes are also "yo' momma" jokes

  • @ItsJish
    @ItsJish 4 года назад +12

    Jimmy: *complains about girlfriend*
    Me: (no girlfriend) sucks to be single I guess..

  • @Redstagwsmnp
    @Redstagwsmnp 3 года назад

    Love the grey hound dress lol

  • @kphillips7922
    @kphillips7922 4 года назад +1

    Fkin ruthless

  • @nonofyabidnez5737
    @nonofyabidnez5737 4 года назад

    Jimmy is the best!

  • @ruanbotha9372
    @ruanbotha9372 4 года назад +4

    Come to South Africa again

  • @saimachaudhry6306
    @saimachaudhry6306 4 года назад +13

    I bet she loved this! 😂
    But it's not stirring it up a bit or being rude, it's been 18 years, it's just curiosity ...
    💍🖐️🤷???
    Sorry!!!! 😅

    • @Tvuvtctoj46fck
      @Tvuvtctoj46fck 4 года назад

      What? Putting a third finger in?

    • @conorf8091
      @conorf8091 4 года назад

      It’s a cover up. Girlfriend isn’t really his girlfriend

  • @SuperMustseetv
    @SuperMustseetv 4 года назад +2

    Jim.....you are the Best comedian in the UK.

  • @HetLedie
    @HetLedie 4 года назад +1

    I want Carr to play Eddie Cantor in a biopic

  • @guamflyer1
    @guamflyer1 4 года назад +2

    enjoyed the jokes...thanks...

  • @MC-xv2tn
    @MC-xv2tn 4 года назад +10

    0:30 Jamie vardy thinks he’s slick 👀

  • @TheAswathama
    @TheAswathama 4 года назад +26

    I have watched too much. This was like a revising session for his jokes

  • @SteveCowlishaw
    @SteveCowlishaw 4 года назад +38

    Come on, mate, it's not acceptable to refer to your mother as your girlfriend.

    • @thebob3712
      @thebob3712 4 года назад +12

      but you seem to think its acceptable that your dad refers to you as his girlfriend.

    • @huzzzer6083
      @huzzzer6083 4 года назад

      @@thebob3712 r/murderedbywords

  • @kansascityshuffle8526
    @kansascityshuffle8526 4 года назад +13

    Jimmy Carr is his own girlfriend?

  • @carlomarcario5027
    @carlomarcario5027 3 года назад

    Awesome

  • @morashid4902
    @morashid4902 4 года назад +3

    Ur too funny jimmy.😂😂😂😂

  • @Psyrecx
    @Psyrecx 4 года назад +14

    Ewww... If I had Carr's GF, I'd swap for the girl in the crowd.
    At least that girl didn't have a shark fin on her face... Then again, it could save you some money on some soup.

  • @philiporlando2052
    @philiporlando2052 4 года назад +7

    Hey Jimmy please reply to this, you are a great comedian, I'm so glad I found ur channel and comedy you make me smile and laugh all the time, you always bring up my mood thank you so much

    • @titmusspaultpaul5
      @titmusspaultpaul5 4 года назад +1

      Just wondering how you wanted Jimmy to reply because you didn't ask s question or say pretty much anything he could even comment on.

    • @samjoshi1812
      @samjoshi1812 4 года назад

      That was the deadest interchange I've seen on RUclips comments

    • @adriandiaz706
      @adriandiaz706 4 года назад +1

      Philip Orlando you’re quite the loser mate 😂

    • @philiporlando2052
      @philiporlando2052 4 года назад +1

      @@adriandiaz706 why I'm just joking around, there's nothing serious

    • @mattcullen6109
      @mattcullen6109 4 года назад +8

      @@adriandiaz706 do you feel stronger now mate?

  • @petercyriljones
    @petercyriljones 4 года назад +4

    You look like Roger Federer.

  • @timthompson7205
    @timthompson7205 2 года назад

    Only in England could a man named Adolf be called a girlfriend.

  • @brandonb9452
    @brandonb9452 4 года назад +4

    Is this entire channel just reuploads?

  • @Cruzy1892
    @Cruzy1892 4 года назад +1

    The Shocker?? Is he a Steel Panther fan?? Haha

  • @mister8765
    @mister8765 4 года назад

    “Two in the pink one in the stink” my god that was funny!!

  • @ReasonablySkeptic
    @ReasonablySkeptic 4 года назад +12

    He's cleaver and has good jokes, but his laugh is the stuff of nightmares.

    • @abhishake24
      @abhishake24 4 года назад +3

      The only thing that's full of nightmares is your spelling of the word 'clever'

    • @Surv1ve_Thrive
      @Surv1ve_Thrive 4 года назад

      Dan it's like Eddie Murphy dressed as a seal being clubbed

    • @Surv1ve_Thrive
      @Surv1ve_Thrive 4 года назад +1

      Dan he is 'cleaver', sharp as a knife! :)

    • @youthoob5561
      @youthoob5561 4 года назад +1

      So “cleaver”

  • @baumwolke2078
    @baumwolke2078 3 года назад

    His steeringwheel is so small I kind of think his driving a bobbycar

  • @supermarc
    @supermarc 4 года назад +3

    7:15 What is that sound??

  • @CarbiesChronicles
    @CarbiesChronicles Год назад +1

    dear god the things men go through just to be in a relationship...

  • @ReventiX
    @ReventiX 3 года назад

    Lovely, Jimmy. Queen's loves U. U must be her favorite! :D

  • @rudeboymon3177
    @rudeboymon3177 4 года назад +1

    Arrested for curb crawling. Thats a good punchline. Her dress was short 😆

  • @mimoochodom2684
    @mimoochodom2684 4 года назад +2

    2 in the pink, one in the stink. LMFAO....even though I've heard it a dozen times before.

  • @rustzz8
    @rustzz8 4 года назад +7

    My ex used to pull that jumping out of the car thing until I got fed up with it and never came back one time. She was so hard headed she walked 10 miles home.

    • @theallseeingeye9388
      @theallseeingeye9388 4 года назад +1

      Same experience here.
      Only difference is yours is now called an experience with the ex. Lucky you.
      And the one time you left her and she had to walk back? That opens another door to a fountain of hate that becomes a source for instant rage on slow days.

    • @joshdunham7167
      @joshdunham7167 4 года назад +2

      @@theallseeingeye9388 oh man, I had a girlfriend like that who'd threaten to jump out of the car, this one time I told her that if she's gonna do it, she's gotta unlock the door and take of the seat belt and increased the speed. Needless to say she sat there quietly for the rest of the ride.

  • @whoisgoogle
    @whoisgoogle 4 года назад +2

    Hi Jimmy

  • @ThePapaMishka
    @ThePapaMishka 4 года назад

    The best boyfriend is the one you can tell anything to. He's not telling ot to anyone. Because he's not listening. Not anymore.

  • @JesusisJesus
    @JesusisJesus 3 года назад

    Ahh ahh ahhhhh!!!

  • @outsidermusic4723
    @outsidermusic4723 4 года назад

    does anyone else hate it when he says "my girlfriend"

  • @tanyascott2195
    @tanyascott2195 4 года назад +1

    Lovenyhidnit is quite funny

  • @mayorhjs7452
    @mayorhjs7452 4 года назад

    I love 💕

  • @cyclingpanda1
    @cyclingpanda1 4 года назад +2

    13:02 Geezus they're huge

  • @Chris-Top-HerB
    @Chris-Top-HerB 4 года назад +3

    Think of sex as a game of snooker. If the pink's blocked by the red, go for the brown.

  • @rogerlundstrom6926
    @rogerlundstrom6926 3 года назад

    Hmm.. I never considered the possibility of "GIFs" being important in a relationship.

  • @tillyhossain1049
    @tillyhossain1049 4 года назад +3

    I'm sorry but the thumbnail...

  • @FolkyVale
    @FolkyVale 4 года назад

    Titan Uranus

  • @voodjin
    @voodjin 4 года назад

    What are you saying at 10:04 (you kind of swallowed the last words^^). "I'm not gonna swap...what?"

    • @alchmon1714
      @alchmon1714 4 года назад +1

      Im not gonna swap with her\you. Basicly said he didn't want to swap because she was too ugly

    • @rndmdrwrreedr8483
      @rndmdrwrreedr8483 3 года назад +1

      “I’m not gonna swap if that’s ok”

  • @trey670
    @trey670 4 года назад

    Ох уж эти вымышленные девушки

  • @JM-ec5fj
    @JM-ec5fj 4 года назад

    My bad

  • @mrpentium
    @mrpentium 2 года назад

    40 miles per hour ? Isnt this in Europe ?

    • @jrd33
      @jrd33 Год назад

      Speed limits in the UK are in mph, as are car speedometers. We're kinda half metric...

  • @superstormday993
    @superstormday993 3 года назад

    😂😂😂😂

  • @murphh57
    @murphh57 4 года назад

    taxi

  • @stephenprince6746
    @stephenprince6746 4 года назад +2

    Does this guy really have a girlfriend or all his jokes seem impossible to happen xD

  • @thelusogerman3021
    @thelusogerman3021 4 года назад +3

    aw come on man bottom button is a big no no

  • @thejackal1106
    @thejackal1106 4 года назад +7

    the 3 dislikes are unattractive women! FACTS

  • @turkce_stand_up
    @turkce_stand_up Год назад

    VAOV

  • @ThePostalGril
    @ThePostalGril 4 года назад +19

    2000: my wife
    2010: my girlfriend
    2020: my gender non-binary transfriend

  • @PaveLiki
    @PaveLiki 4 года назад +2

    Looks like Jimmy will be the last one to find out his
    homosexuality

  • @johnmckee7640
    @johnmckee7640 4 года назад

    Pish..

  • @_Daniel_Plainview
    @_Daniel_Plainview 4 года назад +1

    191th

    • @gali9223
      @gali9223 4 года назад

      1th....

    • @gali9223
      @gali9223 4 года назад

      Jamie William thats what I was pointing out, my god🤦🏽‍♀️

  • @zuti071
    @zuti071 4 года назад +3

    Old content.

    • @kaino2470
      @kaino2470 4 года назад +1

      No shit sherlock it's a compilation

  • @wescourt9661
    @wescourt9661 4 года назад

    Haw gay haw