Hi, just wanted to say don't be too hard on yourself, you're a nice person and be kind to yourself. We all have bad days and days we get fed up with ourselves, you're only human and doing your best. glad to see ya smile when you mention your good friend, Best Wishes Andy
Thanks for the continued support Andy:) Despite not being in the best headspace, my thoughts were relevant at the time. On reflection whilst not the most positive video, most people can relate to bad days as much as good; we're all human. Hope you're well x
Hey iv been watching your videos and you are amazing. I think I am a few years younger than you and I can relate to a lot of your feelings, your channel is really helping me. I can't thank you enough for making me feel as better as I can:)x
Hello:) Amazing I am not but thank you so much for your lovely words. I'm sorry to hear you've not found yourself in a positive place as of late but am glad you've been able to relate and feel a little better through that! Please feel free to let me know if there's any topics you'd like me to cover in more detail and I shall do so x
I had emergency surgery in June of 2018 spending the following three weeks in the hospital recovering. Since I have been home until March of 2019 I have been in total self destruct mode, I have not touched my meds since. No insulin no cholesterol meds no antidepressants. If it it's an upper or a handful of downers I just dgaf anymore. #deadby45. Don't end up like me. Please
I'm sorry for the long comment in advance, and I have no idea if this advice that I'm going to give is going to be helpful. Form what I've observed (and experienced) with this kind of depressive/dissociative state of mind is that it is pretty normal to look for friends and talk to them all the time for comfort. The thing is that those conversations help to cope with the emotions but they rarely bring any solutions: the reason why we go talking is most often more to hear ourselves speak out loud all those problems that we ruminate in our heads all the time. And when the other person tries to help us and find solutions, our minds are already satiated by the act of finally speaking out loud these problems that were stuck on repeat. As I am more of an introvert I can't really identify to the whole "going out, be loud" problematic (same for the pronoun problematic wich kind of flies over my head) but what I can tell you is that for me, the solution came form trying out extravert behaviours. Since you seem to be more of an extravert, It could be that the opposite might work for you. I always remember that in my (very short but pretty intense) depression, a behaviour that helped me more than seeing friends and trying to numb the pain with alcohol was distraction. Going out for very long solitary walks and binge watching comedys that I liked. And at a certain point I could just sit down in silence, without ruminating the same thoughts, and really think about how to resolve problems on my own, without needing anyone to help me in any kind of way. I think I confided a bit too much there but I hope it helps in some way. Stay strong.
+Jorin Veltman Never apologise for long comments, mental health is something I love to talk about (I make mistakes when rambling but its a learning curve)! I relate to talking aloud for the purpose of voicing your concerns but without the intention of looking for immediate help or solutions. Maybe it's connected to the common stream of thought that you are "beyond help"; personally I've never met someone I saw as incapable of receiving help or helping themselves. I suppose forcing yourself into what you saw as an unnatural environment proved a good distraction for you by providing you with a new challenge? Let me know if I've interpreted this wrong. Personally I actually consider myself to be an introvert, it's only with the help of alcohol and other substances that I felt able to go to busy clubs and meet new people. But my anxiety would take effect not during but after and that's where the self destructive element would come into play; sorry if I didn't communicate this too well in the video! I have however been spending more time at home (mainly on RUclips and Netflix) due to lack of funds and have seen a positive shift in my mood since. Thank you for your support and confiding 'a bit too much', it's always nice to find likeminded people! Hope you're well x
+Matt Wright (about the voicing concerns issue) I have a friend who has what one might call a "depressive personality". she can be happy overall but she always calls up people a few times a month, crying, to talk about her relationship issues. And every one has the same observation: she doesen't listen to any of the advice that anyone gives to her. And before the time (a few months ago) when I was feeling really down, a tought of it just as some annoying flaw. But when I was as low as she is (too often) I kind of understood what went down in her head. Some people just need more time to voice concerns before wanting to find solutions (it's still a bit annoying tough). Since I know her well, I recognised that behaiour in your video, but if you do find solutions, good for you ! (About the time I started acting more extravertly) That's not really how it went down. After the "depression" phase, I cared so little about everything that I told to myself "why souldn't I try" (to talk to strangers, making mistakes, etc.). And I found out I wasn't as bad at it as I tought ! Social anxiety really is 100% psychological blockage. (about the substance/self destructive behaviour issue) About that I can only give you my own experience as a straight introverted male. The right balance of drunkness to both have confidence, and be able to talk normally is pretty hard to find on this end of the table ! Too few drinks and the axiety will be too opressing, too much and girls will look away very quickly, thinking you're just some goofy jackass who can't have a normal conversation ! So people in my spectrum don't even GET to kiss anyone when they get too drunk ! (exept if you're REALLY good looking and/or there's a horny girl not far away who is just as drunk) I guess that's the reason why so many introverted staright males get sexually frustrated (or even misogynistic) if they can't find what they're looking for for too long. thanks for the response and stay strong !
Unfortunately I had thought of that yes. Hope you're well despite your problems with trich and have the appropriate support in place? Beckie0 does some great content with Trich Journal x
Yes, i follow her - she is amazing! yeah, i luckily do have support - i am in dbt (though not for the rich, but my therapist knows about it). ;) hope you have so to!
Hi, just wanted to say don't be too hard on yourself, you're a nice person and be kind to yourself. We all have bad days and days we get fed up with ourselves, you're only human and doing your best. glad to see ya smile when you mention your good friend, Best Wishes Andy
Thanks for the continued support Andy:) Despite not being in the best headspace, my thoughts were relevant at the time. On reflection whilst not the most positive video, most people can relate to bad days as much as good; we're all human. Hope you're well x
Hey iv been watching your videos and you are amazing. I think I am a few years younger than you and I can relate to a lot of your feelings, your channel is really helping me. I can't thank you enough for making me feel as better as I can:)x
Hello:) Amazing I am not but thank you so much for your lovely words. I'm sorry to hear you've not found yourself in a positive place as of late but am glad you've been able to relate and feel a little better through that! Please feel free to let me know if there's any topics you'd like me to cover in more detail and I shall do so x
Hi just wanted to wish you a very Merry Christmas and a great New Year, hope your ok and staying well, Best Wishes
Hi:) Thank you. I hope you also had a great Christmas and wish you all the best for the new year! New video soon hopefully x
I had emergency surgery in June of 2018 spending the following three weeks in the hospital recovering. Since I have been home until March of 2019 I have been in total self destruct mode, I have not touched my meds since. No insulin no cholesterol meds no antidepressants. If it it's an upper or a handful of downers I just dgaf anymore. #deadby45. Don't end up like me. Please
I'm sorry for the long comment in advance, and I have no idea if this advice that I'm going to give is going to be helpful.
Form what I've observed (and experienced) with this kind of depressive/dissociative state of mind is that it is pretty normal to look for friends and talk to them all the time for comfort. The thing is that those conversations help to cope with the emotions but they rarely bring any solutions: the reason why we go talking is most often more to hear ourselves speak out loud all those problems that we ruminate in our heads all the time. And when the other person tries to help us and find solutions, our minds are already satiated by the act of finally speaking out loud these problems that were stuck on repeat.
As I am more of an introvert I can't really identify to the whole "going out, be loud" problematic (same for the pronoun problematic wich kind of flies over my head) but what I can tell you is that for me, the solution came form trying out extravert behaviours. Since you seem to be more of an extravert, It could be that the opposite might work for you. I always remember that in my (very short but pretty intense) depression, a behaviour that helped me more than seeing friends and trying to numb the pain with alcohol was distraction. Going out for very long solitary walks and binge watching comedys that I liked. And at a certain point I could just sit down in silence, without ruminating the same thoughts, and really think about how to resolve problems on my own, without needing anyone to help me in any kind of way.
I think I confided a bit too much there but I hope it helps in some way. Stay strong.
+Jorin Veltman Never apologise for long comments, mental health is something I love to talk about (I make mistakes when rambling but its a learning curve)!
I relate to talking aloud for the purpose of voicing your concerns but without the intention of looking for immediate help or solutions. Maybe it's connected to the common stream of thought that you are "beyond help"; personally I've never met someone I saw as incapable of receiving help or helping themselves.
I suppose forcing yourself into what you saw as an unnatural environment proved a good distraction for you by providing you with a new challenge? Let me know if I've interpreted this wrong.
Personally I actually consider myself to be an introvert, it's only with the help of alcohol and other substances that I felt able to go to busy clubs and meet new people. But my anxiety would take effect not during but after and that's where the self destructive element would come into play; sorry if I didn't communicate this too well in the video! I have however been spending more time at home (mainly on RUclips and Netflix) due to lack of funds and have seen a positive shift in my mood since.
Thank you for your support and confiding 'a bit too much', it's always nice to find likeminded people! Hope you're well x
+Matt Wright (about the voicing concerns issue) I have a friend who has what one might call a "depressive personality". she can be happy overall but she always calls up people a few times a month, crying, to talk about her relationship issues. And every one has the same observation: she doesen't listen to any of the advice that anyone gives to her. And before the time (a few months ago) when I was feeling really down, a tought of it just as some annoying flaw. But when I was as low as she is (too often) I kind of understood what went down in her head. Some people just need more time to voice concerns before wanting to find solutions (it's still a bit annoying tough). Since I know her well, I recognised that behaiour in your video, but if you do find solutions, good for you !
(About the time I started acting more extravertly) That's not really how it went down. After the "depression" phase, I cared so little about everything that I told to myself "why souldn't I try" (to talk to strangers, making mistakes, etc.). And I found out I wasn't as bad at it as I tought ! Social anxiety really is 100% psychological blockage.
(about the substance/self destructive behaviour issue) About that I can only give you my own experience as a straight introverted male. The right balance of drunkness to both have confidence, and be able to talk normally is pretty hard to find on this end of the table ! Too few drinks and the axiety will be too opressing, too much and girls will look away very quickly, thinking you're just some goofy jackass who can't have a normal conversation ! So people in my spectrum don't even GET to kiss anyone when they get too drunk ! (exept if you're REALLY good looking and/or there's a horny girl not far away who is just as drunk) I guess that's the reason why so many introverted staright males get sexually frustrated (or even misogynistic) if they can't find what they're looking for for too long.
thanks for the response and stay strong !
The hair pulling might also classify as trichotillomania? i have that.
Unfortunately I had thought of that yes. Hope you're well despite your problems with trich and have the appropriate support in place? Beckie0 does some great content with Trich Journal x
Yes, i follow her - she is amazing! yeah, i luckily do have support - i am in dbt (though not for the rich, but my therapist knows about it). ;) hope you have so to!