Domestic vs. International Adoption | Pros + Cons | Which is Right For You?
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- I hope you find some information in this video helpful if you are considering adoption and are unsure which route to take. There is a part two that I will upload on Wednesday where I answer a bunch of the questions y'all left me on Instagram!
F I N D M E H E R E T O O :
This Gathered Nest: / branifffamily
Instagram: / thisgatherednest
Facebook: / thisgatherednest
Twitter: / angelabmama
S H O P:
My Usborne Store: bit.ly/2KQaykV
My Amazon Store: www.amazon.com...
H O M E S C H O O L P L A Y L I S T :
bit.ly/2ugYCON
G E T T O K N O W U S :
OUR FAMILY STORY: • OUR FAMILY STORY
MEET ROSIE: • Meet ROSIE!!!! | China...
ADOPTION Q & A: • Adoption Q & A w/my Hu...
BIG FAMILY Q & A: • BIG FAMILY Q&A | Large...
DAY IN OUR LIFE: • DAY IN THE LIFE | HOME...
BUSINESS INQUIRIES: thisgatherednest@gmail.com
#VLOGMAS #VLOGMAS2018
Angie please make this into a series! So helpful to all those considering adoption
Totally agree!
I agree!
Agree!
I'd love you to weigh in on the dark side of adoption, the ethics, the costs, the falsified information, etc. I saw a year or so ago about a family who adopted a young girl from Africa who ended up telling them about her birth mother, how she wanted to go back to her, and it turned out she was taken from her mother under the pretence of an "education" in America. The family ended up reuniting them, but apparently there are many other families in the same situation who have not reunited their children who were also taken from loving birth families.
B Long yes, there is definitely a dark side. I’ve spoken before about the importance of vetting your agency AND your child’s story before moving forward. There are ways to hire private investigations and find out facts for yourself. I think often people want the easy route, but ethical will likely never be easy. Adoption can be so complex and all this needs to be discussed and brought into the light. I’ll definitely talk more about it in the future!
This Gathered Nest You’re so sweet, smart, open and honest. It’s good to see w
Our worker was very big on birth order when we were fostering. She highly recommended we follow that. Our first one came to us as an infant after being licensed for about 6 months. We had 1 week to prepare. Then when she was about 9 months old we found out birth mom was expecting again. We new we were adopting her so they said we could take in the new baby when born. They told us December. It was a long 2 month wait. Then no baby was born in December. I don't do well waiting!! We found out then baby wasn't due until March. It was nice to have time to prepare but hard when we thought she was coming earlier. We did not think they would place any other children with us for a year after we finished our adoptions. We were still in the processes of finalizing the second one when we got a call on a Friday that they needed to place a baby like right away that day. They made sure to tell us it was a boy as we had 6 girls and only 1 boy at the time. My son wanted so badly to have a brother. The call came at 8:30am and that sweet baby was at my door at 11am! We adopted him as well. Its so hard to wait and that fear of them leaving once you've had them in your home and started to love them is so hard. Even though its hard I would do it all over again. It was so worth it.
The world needs more people like you
As someone who was adopted as an infant internationally (37 years ago), I just want to thank you for your disclaimer at the beginning about how adoption is not always rainbows and butterflies. I think it is so important for parents of adopted children to know that, even with infant adoption, it is born from loss and that they have to understand that and go into it understanding there will be things that come up. For me, it wasn’t until I was a little older, but my parents were prepared for it and not afraid to go through it with me. Your family is beautiful and you guys seem like amazing parents!
Rose Consigli I completely agree. My husband was adopted as an infant and is 28 now, his adopted mom has no grasp of this concept of born from loss. 2 years ago he got in touch with his birth family and his adopted mom is very spiteful about this instead of understanding how it’s helping him heal from the loss he experienced early on.
I think a mistake some people make when adopting is to think the child should be grateful, especially with children adopted at an older age and from less than great situations.
(We adopted from foster care)
Tiffany Wheeler agreed!
Your stories on adoption is so eye opening to me as someone who was born to a teen mom who had decided to move forward with a domestic infant adoption/open adoption, but shortly after being adopted my mom went back through the courts to get her parental rights back. Your story explaining how heartbroken you were when your domestic infant adoption fell through helped me see the other side of it. I've always heard the story from my mom's point of view and how hard it was for her, but I never thought about how hard it was for the family who had to deal with actually having me for about 6 months before my mom was able to get her rights back. Thank you for sharing your story ❤️
I have adopted 7 kids. Four were fostered to adopt. The first 3 were straight adoptions. All were in the US. The ages at the time they came to me were 8 weeks, 6 weeks, 7 weeks, 4 years, 5 years, from birth (I was there for the birth and brought him home from the hospital), and one that was with me off and on from a few months until permanently at 3. Three were closed adoption. Those were less stressful throughout the lives of the kids. Three were open and chaotic. The last was open but the birth mom not near or involved. That was ok.
The first adoption cost $50 for a home study and $100 lawyer fee. The second was a $150 lawyer fee. The third had the same lawyer fee. The last 4 had no home study fee nor was there a lawyer fee. So, you see, I adopted 7 children for a total cost of $450. It doesn't have to be expensive. It depends on what agency you go through. I went through the county welfare department each time. The last 4 were also subsidized because of their special needs.
I love adoption. I'd love to do it again, but I had the same judge for the last 4. For the last one, my youngest, except for the one be adopted of course, was 11. She told the judge that the next time she wanted to get a girl. After looking back and forth from her, to me, to Koda, to me and to her, he nodded at me and said, "I think she's bagged her limit'. I was 61 at the time. lol. That was 10 years ago. But I'm still working on fostering again.
Homestead Hippie Hi, could you tell me a little more about going through the county? The process of that
@OurSereneLife I answered on discussion on your channel.
I wish more people adopt within the US. We have so many children waiting for be adopted.
This has been so very helpful! I was adopted as a child but I was adopted by my grandparents so I still feel like I’m very much in the dark about adoption but my husband and I know we are now done having biological children (due to two hard pregnancies) but we know our family is still open to more children. Thank you for sharing! Also congratulations to Ashley on the new baby!!
I have always known that I want to adopt and as I am fixing to graduate college in a year and start my career and adult life, I am so thankful for this video and the information you shared. I want to learn as much as I can in the next several years to be as ready as possible when I decide to start the process.
I'd love love love to see the home study information. That's one of the scariest part of adoption to me!
PLEASE PLEASE make this a series! My husband and I are looking into domestic infant adoption for our first child and we are trying to find as much information as we can.
As Angie said, it's important to go in with eyes wide open. Agencies are always willing to meet with you to discuss their programs. Make sure you meet with agencies that are accredited by NCFA (National Council on Families and Adoptions). They have a full list of agencies and attorneys in each state.
Brittany Wenzel
Agreed!!
My husband and I have just started discussing adoption and our options. Would love to hear more about the home study process and affording adoption! I also agree this would make a great series!
I’d love to here more detail in specific aspects of adoption! It makes me so excited for the future! You’re such and inspirational woman xxx
I love hearing all about adoption - it has inspired me to adopt when I’m older ☺️
Sorry unrelated but Angie your skin and makeup look amazing!! I love watching your videos from your point of view, as I was a domestically adopted kid. Hope you and yours have a very merry Christmas!
WE WANT MORE ABOUT THIS TOPIC !!! Thank you Angela
We’re adopting siblings, Hague international, almost exactly $38,000. Nearly $10,000 is travel expense. I would encourage anyone...if the overall cost is holding you back, move forward with a detail plan and choose to adopt. You can do it.
Omg this is so helpful because Anyae(the oldest) wants to adopt when she is older and you guys are such amazing role models!
I never thought about the aspect of birth order in adoption. Could you make a video more about that from your experience?
We’re not looking into adoption, and I don’t know that we ever will. But I find all of this extremely interesting and eye opening, and I have the utmost respect for families who adopt. ❤️ Thank you for sharing all of this information with us!
We are considering adoption and I would love for you to keep doing these videos!! Everything you can share :)
As a Korean adoptee to caucasian parents. My parents are amazing but I am 30 and still working on my feelings of loss and confusion surrounding my adoption. Thank you for sharing your story and education others.
Your makeup looks really nice in this video ❤️
Thank you for this! It was so helpful. I’d really love to watch a “ how to afford adoption” video, as that is our next big question about adoption, particularly for international adoptions. I really enjoy all of your videos, you are so inspiring 💕
This video has made me realize how much I truly want to adopt from China. It seems like the right fit for me.
I always look for the comments section! I am fairly new, but love watching you! So glad I could actually tell you! Thanks
I would love to see more adoption videos!! I am hoping to adopt in the next 5 years. 🥰 I can watch these videos all day long!! Especially yours!! I love your family!!!
Okay, I love how informative this video is, but also, I can’t get over how amazing your eye look is here!! It’s giving me ideas for the family Christmas party
I’m so excited you are posting all these resources! My husband and I are discussing domestic infant adoption and I couldn’t be more excited! So now I’m just researching as much as possible ❤️
yesss!! post any and all videos about adoption you can! the older i get the more i really want to adopt one day! ❤️ love your family story it’s so beautiful!
This lighting/your makeup and complexion/skin look SO GOOD in this video
You are so gifted with words! Thank you for your perspective. We have adopted domestically twice, I always appreciate your adoption videos!
Thank you for sharing!! When I was adopted years ago it was 750.00. Love you guys ❤️❤️
Thank you so much for bringing people the facts about adoption as well as your experiences! I have a sister who joined our family through a private domestic adoption and my husband and I adoption our son internationally. One thing that parents should not be entirely scared by is the term "special needs". Many countries, such as my son's, have a very different definition of a special need. It can be anything from a Mongolian spot to a profound disability. I think some might be scared away by that term. Luckily, our country that we used allowed us to complete a checklist of conditions that we felt equipped to handle.
I'm glad you brought up that adopting in birth order is backed up with research and also that there are families that don't go with that and its ok too if you are prepared for it. We foster and have jammed up birth order to take sibling groups and wouldn't exchange part of the hard of it for anything. We were ok with it though.
Yes please do more adoption videos! I would love to hear more about home studies!
This is so helpful! While I won't be adopting for a while, it's still great to start learning now. Thank you!
YES on the video about the home study! I'm very curious to know what social workers are looking for when assessing a family.
Yes yes yes!!! Thank you! We are at the beginning of a traditional - referral based adoption - international. More videos like this please!
Due to genetic disorders, my body rejects pregnancy. We have adopted one. She was all but left on our doorstep. A person we had helped in the past was in a dark place. We were asked to take her. We met the baby 2 days later. A week later, when baby was 3 weeks old, they took a taxi to our church, with all her belongings, and left her with us. Adoption was finalized 1 year later. Cost was about $2,000. The relationship is gently open, with occasional contact, and our daughter is almost 8 years old now.
I’d love to hear about both the financial and home study info! Thanks, Angie!
Id love a specific video on adoption! I know some of the basics because my cousin was adopted from china, but some of the things you touched on sounded interesting. Like you said adoption has changed, can you speak on that some? My cousin was adopted as an infant 10 years ago from china, but now it seems international infant adoption is not an option. How to tell a credible agency from a poorly run one? What are those wrinkles in adoption that would be good to iron out? Or a video about birth order would be interesting, I've always been interested in adopting an older child and have only heard the success stories, I'd be interested in the studies against adopting a child older than your current children.
I’m only 30 seconds into the video so can’t comment on the content yet, but I just wanted to say that your make up looks particularly gorgeous, really makes your eye colour pop! x
One of my favorite videos you’ve done! 👏🏻
17:08 I know a family who adopted a little girl from Uganda, and the birth parents didn’t want her or anything to do with her because she was born deaf (apparently over there that’s seen as a curse to the family, or something like that). So they dumped her at an orphanage for deaf kids. She’s now thriving, and is literally one of the happiest kids I’ve ever met 😊❤️
God bless you and your family, Angie! This was very informative!
Thank you for this video. I love it! I have a lot of friends that are adopting and was wondering if you could advise on ways to help encourage them during the process. The massive amounts of paperwork and the waiting. Did you have a special scripture/collection of scriptures, or was there something specific that encouraged you when it got really hard?
Elizabeth,
I love your comment, and that you want to learn more about encouraging the adoptive parent/parents/families in your life. I am single without children, and I am blessed to be a part of the "village" for many adoptive parents and families! The ways that I've shown support is in Prayer for them and their child(ren), supporting adoption fundraisers, providing childcare for other children at home while they work on different parts of the adoption process/appointments, and also after coming home (whenever they decide the time is right), bringing meals, offering to get groceries, etc. As Mary Beth Chapman (co-founder of Show Hope) says, "Not everyone is called to adopt, but everyone is called to do something." I am so incredibly blessed to walk alongside adoptive parents and families in prayer and with my talents and treasure. All the best to you as you give of yourself in supporting adoption.
Waiting! That was the hardest part. First waiting for the child, then waiting for the finalization. One of my friends kept reminding me that I would have to wait for 9 months if I was giving birth. And if it was longer, just think of the waiting as being overdue.
Elizabeth Hudson - I know Angie made a video with her sister talking through how best to be a support for those going through the adoption process, that may be helpful for you :)
Thank you for making this video! So much good info! I would love to see a video on affording adoption as that is my and my husband’s biggest challenge when it comes to adopting! We have it very heavy on our hearts to adopt but just struggle with the means when it comes to how much it costs. Love your channel and your beautiful family! ❤️
So much helpful information! Thanks for sharing and Happy Holidays to you and your beautiful family!
For a “healthy” infant from China, I have heard it can take up to 8 years now. I also have a friend from Romania who doesn’t have an open adoption with his birth family, but he does have a connection still with his foster family from when he was waiting to be adopted. His story is really crazy!
Yes, please make all those videos on adoption! Very informative! Thanks
Thank you so much for this! I would love to hear a video about the resources out there to help with the cost 🙂🥰
Your make up in this is BOMB!!!
I have been thinking about Fostering for a long time. At my work we hosted a mans Wake and someone told me that him and his wife had fostered over 100 babies. And between them and you, I have been so inspired. Looking into for me and my family.
Please, please please do a video all about homestudies!!! I would appreciate it so very much! I love this video, such great info. We are in the "get the money put together" stage of our adoption. When we get closer to having funds ready then we will get our homestudy done.
I love this channel. 💓 Always so interesting.
Love to hear the difference between your home studies. I’ve gone through domestic private adoption, and praying on when to re-enter the adoption world for #3.
Yes! Been hoping you would make this video one day
You're my spirit animal these days.
I would want a home study video!!
such a helpful video! thanks heaps😊 Bless you guys xx
Lisa from New Zealand x
I'd love to adopt but we don't have adoption agencies in my country, nor do we normally have many children placed for adoption each year (which is a good thing for the children i guess), while there are a lot of parents waiting 10+ years on a list to adopt. I would love to adopt internationally but with no adoption agencies to help you with the process it's not easy at all.
I really appreciate your informational adoption videos! I would love to hear more information about adoption!
My husband and I have always wanted to adopt at some point. We have 2 biological children that are 7 and 5. We are currently working towards becoming foster parents and hopefully be able to adopt through foster care. We would also definitely consider adopting internationally or domestic adoption as well. Thank you so much for sharing some of your wisdom and experience with adoption.
The international adoption in my home country is still pretty quick (Bulgaria). It is also mandatory to spend time with the child before the adoption process is finalized in order to make sure that you are a right match. The state provides with some English classes as well so the children can express simple needs. Though, it is typically a bit older kids that can be adopted internationally (1+ years old).
How to afford adoption!!! Yas! Thanks for the info!
Merry Christmas and godbless 🎄 from my family to yours
Would love to see homestudy videos love this series idea xx love the videos
Im a home health care provider. I had the pleasure of caring for a little girl adopted from China. She came with alot of health problems and the stories she would tell about the orphanage she grew up in was saddening.
I’d love to hear more about the homestudies. Thank you for this series!
Home studies are NO joke! You have to be willing to divulge info about yourself, your relationship with your spouse, etc. In my experience, we had three components of our home study: narrative answers to questions and two interviews with the case worker. I did an international adoption so there were some specific things that the country wanted to know about us that were included in the interview. One of the interviews was in our home and there was a checklist of items that our caseworker went through when inspecting our home. It seems invasive (and it is) but the case worker is on your side. He/She is on the same team and wants you to be a forever family for a child.
I would love to see about home studies, I’m honestly terrified to have one. And I also was wondering if you by any chance could give recommendations to other RUclipss that have adopted maybe some one in Canada? That would be super help to me personally. Also thanks so much for sharing I always feel more informed after videos like this. ♥️
Thank you for sharing this information, it was very helpful and informative. Please do the other videos.
yaaaaas!! I cannot wait for the funding for adoption video. I want to adopt but I don't know how to get the funds for it
Do you know anyone who has fostered or adopted teens when they had younger kids? I have never heard of the birth order thing, and want to look into it, but didn't know if it changes things up if there is a larger age difference. I feel really called to foster/adopt someday and feel pulled toward teens, but our situation may be having children and doing that a little later down the road.
So good! Thanks for all the info!
Why do they make it so arduous for foreigners to adopt children that are clearly not want it in their home country? That sounds indelicate but if they are orphans and no one from in-country is willing or abke to adopt them then Why make the process more difficult than it should be? It seems they placed higher standards on would be far and adopters then the place on themselves to take care of these kids
I would love all the adoption videos you mentioned!!
Have you done a hair tutorial? I just got mine cut a lot like yours and have no idea how to do it. I searched for one from you and couldn’t find one.
Really interesting and informative video✨ thank you!!
I would love to see any home study information you'd be willing to share!
what about adoption usa domestic children 2-7 years old?
Would love more videos about adoption.
I am really interested in adopting, however, I have an awkward question. Did it take longer to feel the love you have for your genetic children for your adopted children? It's always terrified me that I will adopt and something won't click like it does when you give birth to your own children. I don't know if that will come with time or if you really do feel a spark when meeting your adopted child. I think it would make me guilty for life if I didn't fall instantly in love even though I yearned for the child. Hope that makes sense.
Payton Bright I think Angie has talked about this on her other channel "This Gathered Nest". I know she definitely had a Q and A with her hubby where they talk about that.
I can't speak from experience, but from what I've heard some people feel an instant love, and some people take a lot more time. Some say its because of the adoption, others say they have even had bio kids that they have had trouble bonding with at first.
From what I remember from her videos on this gathered nest is once she saw her baby, a photo or whatever, she was in mom mode. She was in the Congo fighting for Noah, she flew out on Christmas for Rosie, I don't remember details for Jonah but I distinctly remember her saying for Noah that she flew out and stayed in the Congo as soon as she could to get Noah
Amandalorian Yep! And they only had a very short few days to get the money for Jonah’s adoption costs as it all happened quite quick.
Hi Angie,
Could you do a video on the IVF side of your embryo adoption? Like what to expect and what you did to get your body ready for the embryo transfer etc. Also, was there a separate cost for the IVF and then a cost for the adoption?
I would love to see a video on how to afford adoption/IVF and what resources there may be to help.
Thanks! I absolutely LOVE your family.
Love love loved this video!
Could you talk about parental rights in domestic adoptions? I hear people say that birth families can come back whenever and take the child back. Is that true?
WonderfulAlice1 once adoption is finalized no person will ever be able to take away your child. Even before is finalized is rare. If you research there are not many stories like that, but still is one of adoptive parents worst nightmare, with good reason. Look for a serious agency, research, get people who adopted and ask questions. Good luck! 🍀
Don't quote me on this, but I think its 30 days where the birth mother can change her mind. Its not forever though, at a certain point a birth parent legally relinquishes their rights and the child is legal the responsibility of the adopted parents.
Please talk about home studies, I would love that video
Did you have any differences with adopting Rosie since she did have special needs? A whole video about that process would be interesting!
Angela, did you end up making a video about the financial aspect of adoption? I couldn’t find it. Thank you very much!
I would love to know more about the home study process.
I would LOVE the home study video
I would love an info video on your experience with embryo adoption. I have considered adoption but because of my husbands past we don't believe it would be an option for us, which totally sucks but I know who I married and his past choices and knew that certain things wouldn't be an option for us. Embryo adoption might hmbe though.
Yes please on the home study!
It makes me sad that adoption is so expensive, scary, and complicated. There are so many bubs all over the planet that could be with their forever families, but can't get to them.
Please do a video on your home study experiences. Thank you!
I am very interested in both info on homestudies - both for Hague adoption and for non-Hague adoption for international adoption as well as any differences between tht and homestudies for domestic adoption for infant as well as for an older child or sibling group. Additionally I am interested in how to finance an international or a private agency domestic adoption..
I keep being drawn to Uganda for adoption and I had NO IDEA you had to live there for a year....
Yes please to all adoption videos!
we are want to adopt. we where going to try to forster but there was problems and then we had to quite seen fil live with us now . I am want to adopt but it hard for us.
how deeply are prospective parents and their families vetted?
What’s birth order?