Labor and delivery nurse here: breastfeeding actually does take a lot out of you. You should definitely eat every few hours, even if it’s a snack. They actually encourage you to eat every time you feed or pump, and newborns usually feed every 2-3 hours…so yeah she was probably really hungry lol
Yeah, that one story pissed me off a bit. While I think the mother leaving was a bit over the top, the starving wasn't an over exaggeration. Women who are pregnant or breastfeeding are eating for two. And you don't even have to be a nurse to know that. While it may not be the most well known fact, it should at least seem obvious since it's very much taking nutrients from the woman's body, turning it into something a baby can consume and then giving it to them. Also I don't know how the family didn't have left overs. If you prepare for 3 people and only 2 eat, sure they can finish it all, but I feel they wouldn't have been able to eat so fast. So in general I think they weren't preparing enough. And esspecially if the mother should be eating more than usual. And you'd think the husband's mother would understand the additional effects of breastfeeding and wouldn't just assume.
@@keelinnaylor nope. Leaving was the right thing to do. And it's not about food. That MIL was making a flipping point by not feeding her. If you're not at the table, no food for you. One should not have to deal with that sort of disrespect in your own home. And then to poke at her with my son works while you're at home? And her husband taking his mom's side, when she's clearly in the wrong? Nuh-uh. She needs to set the tone of their relationship going further or else she'd be this mother and son's doormat and target for life. That's not good for her nor for her kids.
The BIL barging into the bathroom doesn't sound like a boundary issue tbh - if it was, he would probably also do it to the brother. But she mentioned that he doesn't. The fact that he's ONLY doing it to the wife makes it pretty clear that he has some gross ulterior motives. That's straight-up sexual harassment, and it's pretty awful that her husband was angry with her for trying to stop that harassment - especially when he was apparently just letting it happen.
This one legit makes me sick... Your wife just confessed she was uncomfortable with a certain behaviour and you don't understand it? Well doesn't mean you should call her paranoid and not listen to her. Even if you don't agree with her it's your wife for fucks sake so consider her opinion and do something about it even if you don't understand or agree with it fr Hasn't that man learned that people have the right to have another perspective on something and that his own perspective isn't the only one that counts?
I could have sworn she even mentioned that the husband said something about her complaints ruining their agreement. Her agreement with him to allow BIL to stay with them? Or did he have done other side agreement relating to his wife with his BIL? I dunno. Something is very fishy and disgusting in that whole arrangement.
They fact that the husband has an issue with a bathroom door having a lock on it also seems like a red flag and is a really weird thing to get upset about. Especially if there are other people like the brother living in the house.
They should really invest in one of those no-spill sippy cups. Keeps the juicy juice right in the cuppy cup. Works for my toddler nieces and nephews, bet it'd work for this grown damn man.
Speaking of man-babies, how come no one's talking about no.3 and how much of a red flag having agreed to not install any locks in the house as basic rule of their marriage is? As if privacy and the mere capacity for setting physical boundaries in itself is a breach of trust. Cause yikes. Like why is it so important to you that your partner doesn't even have the ability to get physically away from you? Call me cynical but my mind goes to pretty dark places considering a lot of abusive people only show their true colors after they feel like they have sufficiently "trapped" you by marrying you. Ladies- and others- privacy and boundaries are good and necessary for any healthy partnership and if your SO is worth their salt, they will respect that instead of treating them like threats to your relationship. Dylan was way too lenient on that one imo. Even if it isn't this sinister though, it also reminds me of these fb couples who merge their socials after marriage in a show of "we do everything together bc we love each other so much uwuu we have nothing to hide from each other uwuwu" when in reality it just shows their lack of trust in each other and insecurity in their relationship. If you need to put your partner in a position where you get to monitor their every social interaction/they don't have the ability to be fully physically autonomous from you in order to feel like things between you are good, then suffice to say you don't trust this person, you aren't secure in your relationship and you need to learn what boundaries are.
the mother and food story! I had this happen to me after my 2nd baby was born. With a 1.5yr old and a newborn being breastfed upstairs, my husband, friends, and his siblings ordered pizza for us all. I finished breastfeeding and pumping, changing their diapers and i come downstairs (this is late in the evening and in definite need of comfort food)...there was no pizza left. I just stood there, staring out at the kitchen, and just cried. I just couldnt believe what i was looking at. Its everything going through your mind 100mps(hormones, high stress, exhaustion,...depletion!) that there's no rationalizing. My husband later said he thought that someone would have saved me some. You should have! He drove and got me my own fave pizza. All is forgiven but I feel this woman.
Just like this! The MIL should have said “sorry, I didn’t know you where hungry. Let me go make you some dinner right now” and it would have been over just like that
I don’t have kids and haven’t been pregnant so I don’t know how it feels exactly, but I know what it’s like to be hangry and if you come in the room expecting food when someone has ordered for the whole group and there’s nothing left I would be raging too. When I’m hungry I get very irate and snappy, and say some irrational stuff, so that combined with the stress of looking after a baby and the fatigue from breastfeeding would definitely make me blow up at someone 😭
I didn’t have this happen to breastfeeding or pregnant. It was a fiancé relationship- ordered Popeyes chicken and bought 10 extra biscuits, I told him to go ahead and eat without me because I was on a work call. 30min later i come back to find a plate of food to eat and found everything was eaten (nearly 20 biscuits and family size chicken order) All gone im 30 min! I was livid!!!! He thought it was funny and I shouldn’t take it too much over $45 in junk food and I can’t even get a single piece of chicken or biscuit. He said he thought I bought the food just for him. The nerves
I’m not even pregnant but I can vividly imagine the feeling of betrayal when she came out her room and the people she loves actually just disregarded her like that and then said it’s her fault and that she should be thankful. It’s not about the food, it’s about the disappointment that they didn’t care about her.
I watched this with my mom and she told me about how she was treated after giving birth to me and like damn is it a part of our culture to disrespect women after they give birth?
So~ having two kids that I breastfed I'll just point out, that hunger when you feed the baby is on a whole another level, seriously. I ate 2-3 times a day before kids, while feeding I ate non stop, everything nad big portions and i still LOST weight. Now I eat normally again. Disappointment yes, but hell yeah it was about food too xD
Staying over at a new mothers home to “help” and not helping, especially not FEEDING HER… is frankly unforgivable. And if the husband had a single brain cell he’d understand that and rectify the situation immediately. It never should have gotten to the point where the new mom had to leave her husband and home and go live with her family again to get support. New moms need so much more support!
Honestly, the most infuriating part to me was the husband saying, "What the fuck do you want me to do about it?" as if he's powerless against his superior mother. How cruel. How cold. How flippant. Like, defend your wife, asshole. Or at least don't further embarrass her or be condescending. If you don't want to risk getting furious at your own mother, fine, try to keep the peace, but at least pull your wife aside to another room and say, "I'm really sorry, I don't think she meant anything by it, but it was dumb of us to forget or not knock on the door and ask you. I've just been exhausted at work, but of course you have been too, with all the feedings and sleepless nights. We'll fix you up something to eat now, or place a dinner delivery, and try not to let it happen again. Is there anything else bothering you, though? You seem to be...reacting strongly here, but I know I'm not home a lot to notice if there's more." Why is that difficult? Why is empathizing and asking questions and compromising difficult? No wonder she got the hell out of that enviorment. Even when my hormones aren't running wild, I would probably break down if my partner said, "What the fuck do you want me to do about it?" right in FRONT of the person who just hurt and belittled me. Thanks for the support.
@anherb I think when he said that he wasn't seeing the full picture and considering that it was a new mother who was personally recovering from giving birth, and breast feeding. he did agree in the end with the comment from that post that said new moms need food because they breast feed. people can learn and he did ask for our thoughts SO HE COULD LEARN and widen his perspective.
@anherb i didnt really say that it did. Like i said he did agree in the end which means he corrected himself and he also asked for our thoughts on the matter which could further educate him. Yea okay he didnt put that much importance to it but he corrected himself in the end by agreeing with the comment under the post.
So many of these IATA stories reveal really deep, really bad dynamics that the OP hasn’t fully processed. This seems to be the case no matter who the A-hole is in most of them.
@anherb i know she was breastfeeding but she, and everyone in this scenario, reacted poorly. so was there was absolutely no other food in the house that she could have eaten on the one occasion that dinner was not cooked for her?? Or at least explain that she's tired and if someone could make her something, instead of storming off. Because from an outside perspective it seems like its from this one time. When every other time the mother in law makes dinner.
The dinner story was so ridiculous. I can imagine just how furious I would be taking care of the baby all day, looking forward to eating and putting the baby down for NOTHING. I would be moved to tears
exactly. yes its true she couldve just eaten something else from the fridge or the pantry, but she shouldnt have to since y'know, her MIL cooked dinner for them. it makes me think, did the MIL ever cook enough for her or just enough for herself and her son?
You don’t just accidentally forget to have a plate ready for a breast feeding mother. Husband might’ve assumed but he sounds like a jerk. MIL definitely did it on purpose, sounds like the type of mom who gets jealous of her son’s S/O.😃
Exactly. If I had been the MIL, I’d save a plate AND go ask if she needs something. The MIL is not there to help, she’s there for her precious manchild and to set up her own rules in someone else’s house with someone else’s child. The response to that story kinda grossed me out from this channel nul.
I think for me it'd make a difference if we knew the name. If he chose "John" I wouldn't care, it's whatever. If he chose "Goku" I'd have a problem with that. Now, full disclosure: all my family has the tradition of having 2 names, only using the first name in family settings and once we grow up we usually switch to using our middle name or a nickname. We're weird about names.
@@bluestarkiller In this case though it seems very likely that if they let him name their child, he's going to feel like he's got some type of claim on the child and having a say in the raising of the child, etc.
Dylan, nursing makes you absolutely starving, and also the father is definitely a hypocrite when he expects his wife to be around a mother she doesn’t like but he refuses to do the same
Exactly! Tbh the mother-in-law living in her house “to help out with the baby” but isn’t helping (except cooking when her son is around).. it probably just adds an even bigger burden for the new mom. And she went through pregnancy herself so it seems pretty obvious that she dislikes the wife and is maybe even using this as an opportunity to stay in their home claiming to be helping them while meddling in their relationship and actually creating more problems
After every story I was thinking there couldn't possibly be any relationship scenario worse than the last, and then the next one comes and I'm stuck in a cringe position all over again 😭
So much drama, as a mental health worker it just screams red flags and lack of communication. One persons trauma should not be an excuse for the partner to give up their freedoms.
I'm gonna have to disagree, I'm gonna absolutely judge that dude on the bathroom lock thing. It's super weird and his reaction to her getting one is even weirder.
i don't think its that weird that they'd agreed in the beginning to not use locks, it seemed like it was an agreed thing and i don't think thats the strangest thing. it might be trauma related, as dylan said. but it's definitely weird that he didn't let her install one once a problem came up. _that's_ for sure a red flag
@Espion- Well the first major red flag was not slapping the shit out his brother and banning him from the house after the 2nd occurrence. Given that it doesn't surprise me he didn't let her install one. Which is why I judge him.
The entire dinner section pissed me off. I feel bad for the mother. Glad she left that toxic place to stay with her parents. And yes, every good mom, especially a new mom, SHOULD be treated like a princess.
😂 Dylan. The women loosing her shit about food is 100% reasonable. She is starving birthed a child and breast feeding which takes energy. Also her mother in law is purposefully pushing her buttons. What makes it worse is the husband is a mamas boy. They are all stupid and lack communication skills. But the mother in law shouldn’t be staying there.
Exactly. And also I think anyone, let alone a new mum would be betrayed and upset if they were busy and came downstairs and found out the people they love and care for who should love and care for them also, basically disregarded them, cooked for only themselves, ate and then turned around and essentially told them that it's not their problem is they are hungry.
I think it’s more the tone of the post that was off putting to him and even me. I do think OP is being treated horribly but she wrote the post in a way that made it difficult to not side with her. Every ‘questionable’ action by her was easily explained away, but all the husband and MIL’s actions reflected poorly on them
@@fish5465 she's brought it before. She literally states in the beginning that she was afraid that he would blow up on her. Clearly this is an issue (regarding the MIL treating her weirdly and the husband siding with his mother and them arguing with her) that has been going on for a while.
The MIL was shady for not preparing enough food for everyone ESPECIALLY for the person she claims to be there for. So if she doesn’t come to dinner during dinner time she shouldn’t eat? That’s weird.
right!!!! like it’d be one thing if she just straight up didn’t make dinner for anybody but to only make enough for two??? like it would be hardly any extra effort to just make extra. The wife didn’t have to immediately move out tho, especially if she hadn’t expressed her frustration before this.
exactly. there's three people in the house (one who's breastfeeding and MIL claim to be caring for!) why cook for two. why leave her out purposely. its not about the meal itself its the fact that MIL does not care at all despite saying that she does.
And surely “coming to dinner time” is once it’s ready to eat. So what happened to her portion? Did they eat it? Throw it away? Did she just not make her food and use that as an excuse?? So weird
She also just had a baby so, hormones are raging, PPD, etc, and has basically a hostile stranger barging into her house and taking over and causing arguments between herself and her husband.
Somehow I get the sense that the husband who didn't save any dinner for his wife invited his mother over to feed HIM. He doesn't actually care whether his wife gets food. "But my mother is here to help with the baby" is just a pretence to keep his mother around to serve him. His wife-bot is not serving him at 100%, since she has other priorities at the moment - he can't possibly lift a finger to do anything at home, oh nooo. The way the mother-in-law denied her dinner came off like she was scolding a child "if you don't come to the dinner table at dinner time, you don't get dinner." Mother-in-law, you had one job.
@@rachelhamilton8669 almost. Forgot that he also works too? Being a cop could be way more mentally taxing than raising a child. He’s not doing nothing.
@@HudsonKy For the kids he is doing nothing. Having a job is needed to be a successful adult and is defacto in life before children. If they decided to have children, they both need to take on the tasks of raising those kids. That's a parent's job, and a hard one, which is why a lot of people like Parent-in-laws to help. They're there to help, not raise your kids. Husband should have been up there helping his wife instead of stuffing his face 💁🏼♀️ And let's be real, depending on where he lives there's a good chance his job as a cop is to just patrol and write tickets- stop acting like every cop is chasing down criminals and mafia bosses 🙄
ah yes, that would make sense. So in his mind, the MIL is helping his wife because the MIL is relieving his wife of "her duties". Gross if that is the case.
I lock my bathroom door and my bedroom door even when I'm alone, and check it twice if I'm not. Those are places of private vulnerable moments. Better safe then sorry.
Yeah! And what about their house guests? I would hate visiting their home and needing to use their bathroom knowing I can't lock the door. When I am home alone, I typically don't lock the bathroom door, but I wouldn't think I need to remove the locks just because I don't use them. I'm assuming there was some trauma which probably needs to be dealt with.
On the dinner one... I think it's less about the food and the pantry not being locked but more about the audacity. The mom came to "help" but isn't helping, so with a newborn baby she's actually imposing. The only way she actually helps is by cooking, which is pretty significant-but she didn't even come through on that. She didn't save food for the woman who was busy feeding the newborn, even when there must have been enough because they'd been expecting the wife to join. The mom intentionally didn't save it, either out of spite or as some sort of lesson (which seems condescending at best and vindictive at worst). The wife is doing all the work for the baby, which is exhausting, but she's told not to be selfish because her husband works hard all day. And it's not like your hormones immediately reset once the baby's out, it takes around 6 months for that to happened and she's breastfeeding and probably exhausted, and breastfeeding moms can have the same food cravings as during pregnancy, so she likely is feeling like she's starving and needs to eat more than she would otherwise. Even though the post is very clearly colouring the situation in her favor, not accounting for exhaustion and hormones and even disregarding the baby aspect altogether, I'd be pretty miffed if I was late to dinner and my MIL who was staying with us and making messes didn't save me any food. A mistake is understandable, on purpose is disrespectful. While I agree about the whole if she never mentioned it before the husband is probably mega confused thing, if what OP wrote was correct, his reaction was petty and childish, even with how obviously it's slanted. I think objectively, he as the mom are in the wrong. Maybe the wife is being childish about it herself, but I don't think that makes her equally as sucky as they are. We don't know the whole story, but as someone who had to live with an entitled, snobby, inconsiderate and subtly emotionally abusive grandparent I'm more inclined to side with the wife, presuming the post is mostly accurate, because man it can make you crazy
It’s also the fact that they didn’t offer to get her anything when it was clear she missed dinner bc she was taking care of the baby. It’s a bit childish to leave and take the baby over them not saving her food but his childish response to her being upset when it’s them who aren’t considerate of her taking care of their baby, it’s reasonable to need space from them being nonsupporting and go to her moms and as a new mother she would probably want her child with her. So in my opinion even if she’s downplaying her actions/attitude going to get some space with your child is not an ahole move
It also would have taken a total of 30 seconds to peek in the room and say “hey dinners ready, are you hungry?” It sounds like MIL is there to take care of her son more than her DIL and infant grandchild 🙄
yeah she is behaving a bit childish but i feel like it has to do with the fact that she's probably exhausted all the time from everything she's doing and by what she said her MIL makes messes and cooks but doesn't really do anything else. Yes the cooking is a big help but even without the cooking part taking care of everything else for a new born is absolutely tiring. Especially because she's breastfeeding. (on that i get her being hungry. doing so much mental and physical work is supposed to make u significantly hungrier than us normal ppl.) She probably was exhausted and hormonal and lashed out. The MIL could have simply came to her room and asked if she was hungry or wanted to eat since she's supposedly there to help the wife out yet she seems to not even care that much. The wife also mentioning she kept quiet because she was scared that the husband would scold her, i feel like there's more to unpack there like a lot more. From her POV and all that she has written the husband seems shitty honestly. Not helpful or supportive and probably thinks he has it the hardest because of his job and he wouldn't even try to understand why the wife was suddenly lashing out. Basically from all that I've read I'm more inclined to side with the wife aswell.
As a breastfeeding mother, it is absolutely INSANE to me how hungry I get. Theres some days that if I’m not eating every 2 hours, I feel like I havent eaten at all. It doesnt help that it takes 30% of the body’s energy to make milk and express it. All my friends and family are constantly making sure I get enough food or water because they know thats how my baby eats.
I have no idea what its like to be a breastfeeding mom (as a dude) but if there's one thing I've learnt about dating is that no matter the situation, always ensure your lady is fed. Even if she just ate, save her a plate.
@@esamullajee3273 it's not just about keeping your lady fed I think it goes for everyone regardless, if the wife is cooking and her husband isn't home she should save food for him. I think it's very shady and passive aggressive what the MIL did, how she cooked for her son and didn't leave food for the mother of her grandchildren
Yep. I would eat at least 2x the food my husband had at meals, when he's 6" and 80lbs bigger. I would also inhale 2-3 granola bars during breastfeeding most of the time!
The mom was being petty. The literal purpose of you being there is to help her but all you do is mess up their home. Then on top of that you make dinner for you and your son and try and say you thought she wasn't gonna eat. It was as simple as knocking on the door and asking
if you cook you take in count how many people are there and consider seconds so i think she didnt make enough food in the first place, MIL seems like a person that would go to the hospital to bring the new father food forgeting about the mother completely etc
As a mom who breast fed, I just want to throw out that when you’re breastfeeding you get SO HUNGRY. And also milk production is directly correlated with your caloric intake. So it is a really big deal, especially in the postpartum mindset of questioning if you’re being a good mom, etc. I had a rule that nobody was allowed to come over the first two months with our baby, including both our parents, because I am a hostess by nature when people are in my home, and I needed to be able to dedicate all my time and attention to baby and this new aspect to the relationship with my husband. In laws usually, imo, aren’t helpful when a new baby comes home as much as they are just in the way.
To clarify; their relationship sounds incredibly petty and I’m not taking the mom’s side. Just trying to give perspective on why her hunger was such a big deal and maybe share insight on how she may feel about MIL being there
THANK YOU!!! That's what I said, and I may have called Dylan an a-hole in the process. All in fun, of course. But, yes, that relationship overall, either on one side or both, seems like a very petty one.
In japan we have a word for that, ene-husband which is short for enemy husband lol also we have a word for when you're being an ahole to yourself, ene-me (which is a pun on enemy)
I think the third story is even weirder because how hard is it to just walk up to the room and ask the new mom if she is hungry?! 🤨 can’t imagine they have a huge house on a policeman’s salary.
It surprises me to see people not understand that the "princess treatment" is basically her saying that's what she needs now post-partum. She does need to be treated like one until she gets back to being her own person. It doesn't automatically mean she is pampered 24/7 but her thoughts and opinions to actually matter and weigh enough to be taken into consideration. My mom used to eat every two hours otherwise she would have felt faint.
I’m a bisexual woman that has dated women and I think that asking to “be treated like a princess” five weeks after giving birth vs all the time is different. I feel like you’re really glossing over the fact that she seems to be taking 100% care of the baby. It’s not about the single act of not saving someone dinner, it’s the principle of failing to be considerate for the new mother that is actively tending to her new baby, the baby the mom is supposed to be helping with.
fr he went over the word “department” like 5x but only stated the part where she said she was doing everything for the baby on her own that 1 time lol so much for being unbias 😂 he still sees it from a mans POV but wont realize until he reads these comments disagreeing w him on this one
@it'sjustme I definitely agree that she didn't handle it correctly, though I think the idea of her needing to grow up more is probably not right, considering that after giving birth your hormones are still everywhere and it can be super traumatic to some people. It's likely she would have acted normally to this if she hadn't just given birth. The obvious lack of attention and likely lack of social interaction from constantly caring for a new born does weird stuff to people.
She even said that the mother moved in specifically to help her out with the baby and household chores but she only makes dinner.. I would be upset too
The breastfeeding story is absolutely wild to me. I'm neither a mother nor a married woman. I live with my family. In our culture, you always make food for everyone. Growing up many a times my brother would fall asleep during dinner time then wake up later in the night hungry. So my mom would always leave extra food for him. Even if me or my brother said we don't wanna eat, there will still be food made for us just in case we feel hungry later. Makes me very grateful for my parents and how they never held food as a point of discipline or contention ever. The MIL said there's no food because the mother didn't show up at the table??? Does that mean the MIL and husband ate extra?? Cause she would have made the mother's portion of food while cooking right. Unless... she didn't even cook for her.
This. And on top of it all, the MIL is setting up rules (no-show at the table = no dinner) in the new mum's home. I would have left as well if I were disrespected by my MIL and my husband in MY OWN HOME.
@@pollystrange8298 yeah I cannot imagine being stressed and tired all day and then finally getting the time to eat, because it's not like she just didn't wanna come to the table. Should COULD NOT come because she was literally feeding the baby. And then just finding out no one cared enough to save you a plate. It's not even about the food at that point. It's simply so hurtful.
My mom is the one who cooks and she always ask us before she even cook, what do we want and she always leave food for us. We are not even pregnant. That mom is dumb.
I feel like the people who need a soundboard for relationships that sound clearly toxic to viewers are usually victims of a narcissistic partner/family dynamic. Those relationships make you feel crazy for holding shitty actions accountable. You doubt everything.
Although I find most of these marriage issues ridiculously immature, I will say that if you're with someone for life, sooner or later you will both fight over something stupid. So I agree with you, but I also can't judge?
a lot of ppl dont even try get to know the person they're dating, they just get with them based on attraction and probably some superficial stuff. and then when they decide to get married, engaged, or idk decide to move-in together, they start exposing the sides they obviously can't hide anymore because that person is around them a lot more often than before. a lot of the times, weirdly - people in relationships wouldn't even hang out with that person if they weren't in a romantic relationship with them. it's strange, why would u not want to be friends with ur partner and get to know them properly? but a lot people just don't. there's also other things that go into it like...how ur parents relationships can affect how u navigate yours and undealt with trauma n shit.. humans make life harder than it needs to be lmao
Not just upset about her wanting a lock, but upset at her for being upset with his brother for his continued and honestly blatantly inappropriate actions, but whether or not the brother was being a creep is irrelevant, the fact is it's happening and she wants it to stop and for the husband to essentially take the brothers side is super weird, it's not like the brother is doing something out of his own control, which makes it deliberate, the fact that the husband ignores that is a massive red flag.
about the pregnant girl story: i would be fucking pissed if there was no dinner saved for me even if I wasn't pregnant or just gave birth. That is just so inconsiderate that the husband and MIL would eat all the food while the mother is feeding her own child. Yes, there may be other food in the house but the girl is probably exhausted so she wouldn't want to make anything or eat little snacks. if my husband didn't immediately feel bad and order me food or something then I would have been a whole bitch to him. I wouldn't go as far as to leave for an extended period but I might consider leaving to go to a friends house or my moms in that situation if I was mad enough. Just don't fuck with hangry women, especially when they are pregnant or breast feeding.
I also think it's about nutrition. Like yeah theoretically she could have a sandwich but the nutritional benefits, especially when you consider she's breastfeeding, are not the same. She should be eating a proper dinner and the MIL is just causing more harm than good. I'm not in her situation but there have been times when I don't eat dinner during supper time because I'm still busy with studying/assignments and just want to get that out of the way while Im still "in the zone" before I can relax and try to turn my brain off. If I were deprived of dinner because of that I'd be pissed and I'd make sure everyone knows it. She's not the asshole, she deserves better. Her husband is such a man-child and a mommy's boy. If I had to speculate he likes having his mom around to take care of him since his wife is preoccupied by the baby.
A plate and leftovers should be saved regardless, but the comment about healthier food and being pampered, I'd wager the MIL has made food for her that she has refused to eat, maybe even exactly what was cooked that evening. Could be feuding relatives or just a simple misunderstanding or a pattern of behavior by the mom or MIL. Doesn't make the husband or MIL not aholes, but there is A LOT not being said.
For the second one: I promise you guys have called me paranoid for less, she probably told him exactly that “your brother barges in the bathroom and it feels like he’s only doing it when I’m the one using it” and he just didn’t believe her
new mum story: her reaction was so valid, her mil was there to help with the baby, saving a plate would be the absolute least she could have done to help. it doesn’t even matter if op wasn’t hungry and was planning on eating later, there’s no reason for them to not save her a plate, even if she wasn’t breastfeeding that’s just a rude thing to do without even asking. a woman who just gave birth a few weeks ago definitely deserves to be treated like a princess, it’s a very stressful time and she’s been doing all the work while her mil makes a mess of the house, it must be frustrating as hell to have to cook your own meal just bc your husband and mil couldn’t be bothered to save you a plate. also i don’t think it’s right to compare her not wanting to be around her mil after she disrespected her in her own home while she was taking care of a newborn baby vs her husband not wanting to visit his newborn son just bc he doesn’t like his mil.
PSA: ASKING FOR RESPECT AND KINDNESS IS NOT ASKING TO BE TREATED LIKE A PRINCESS. Everyone needs to raise the bar on how we expect to be treated and we need to reevaluate how we treat others.
LITERALLY!!! Her being treated like a "princess" in this context was the bare minimum lmaooo. She's a new mom and she just wanted some help with child care and at least a plate of food. Not only were her standards low already, but they were not even met at all. I've never been pregnant nor do I ever plan to be, but I could sympathize with a struggling new mother man ... that was a sad story to hear
No one said it was... Also, maybe not in this case, but a lot of the time when girls say they want to be “treated like a princess,” they come across as high-maintenance
She was in the house feeding the baby, it’s not that she’s not at home, there’s a breast feeding woman in the house, just because she didn’t show up at the dining room, nobody checked if she wants to eat, no one can convince me that this isn’t personal, people don’t just forget about family members and throw their possible needs out of the window like that.
@@劉嘉琪-d6k Yeah, the fact that it wasn’t normal for the husband or his mom to bring her a plate shows how strained (and probably petty) things are. Like even if she were an ogre, it’s the mother of your child / grandchild.
For the MIL situation, sound like the "not saving a plate" was the "last straw" for the wife. The MIL was allegedly there to help while the husband is at work, but instead she just has friends over and doesn't help except by cooking. So the wife probably settled for the "well, at least she makes dinner" as the only redeeming part of MIL and now suddenly MIL is gatekeeping meal time by saying "you have to be present to get a plate otherwise you're SOL" so the wife is like now there's NOTHING redeemable about MIL. It also sounds like neither MIL is great to their children in law and both wife and husband hate their MILs, so it just seems petty and toxic all around. Everyone just needs to get their heads out of their own asses and help the new mother and her baby (and if you have to kiss her ass a little while she recovers from giving birth, then so so).
When I had my first child I got really fed up with people coming into my home and telling me how I should be doing things and that I looked a mess, so when I had my second child I made a simple rule. No-one visits the house four the first 4/5 weeks after I give birth. We took the baby to visit relatives and at those times I dressed appropriately, washed my hair and looked okay if not great. But at home I could relax and know that if I wasn't up to putting on a perfect show for anyone else, I didn't have to. My partner supported me every step of the way, he even cooked for me and made sure to do the shopping as well as working all day. That's really all the husband needed to do, support and love his wife until she was emotionally ready to face the rest of the world
@@katieb63 that's a really good idea! Gosh I'm so sorry you had people coming over and acting like that when they should know you just had a baby:p but I'm glad you had a plan and support with your second child!!
That mother was probably fed up from having little to no help and just having given birth. I don't think Dylan understands the absolute exhaustion OP was going through and the AMOUNT OF CALORIES she needs to breastfeed and be satiated herself! It's very likely that MIL was being a classic toxic MIL that hates her DIL because she "stole her son away from her" or something and did this on purpose. **Likely** I said.
Totally agree with you. Here its not about food but more control and respect which MIL lacks in regards to her DIL. Although you dont really need a lot more calories when breastfeeding.
about the husband pretending to fall, the juice comment is just further evidence that his ass was fine and could get up and get himself food from the fridge. you gotta think like a pissed off woman it all makes sense
I think the mom latched onto the "they didn't save me a plate" part because it was the last drop for her. But this was probably weeks of feeling underappreciated. I say this because I do this a lot. Sometimes we focus on something that seems petty or small, but that's not the real underlining issue, it's just the trigger that made us explode. I do think she may have overreacted, but the husband sucks. If my husband saw me leaving the house with our newborn and still felt like his pride was more important than our family (making a lot of assumptions here so I might be reading the situation wrong) I would definitely feel justified in my behavior, overreaction or not.
I think it is absolutely reasonable for her to want to leave the house to get away from them, but as the main caregiver AND FEEDER of the newborn, it's necessary the baby comes with. She's not the crazy lady that ran away with the baby to teach the husband a lesson, she left and brought the baby that relies on her for sustenance with.
@@gwendolynrobinson3900 I agree with you. I just am of the habit of always trying to work my problems out. She mentioned earlier that she kept shut about how she was feeling, so I just thought one conversation (not an argument) before packing up and leaving would've been better. But as I said the husband's attitude sucks so I don't blame her for leaving.
I think EVERYONE can relate to being hangry so I can't imagine how hangry I would feel if a tiny human was eating all the energy out of my body then the people there to "help" didn't make sure I had food too. She wanted DINNER, not snacks, and dinner takes a lot of energy to make, which she had just spent up feeding her baby
@@daniella_otsuki I understand, but didn't she keep her mouth shut cuz hubby told her to? she snapped cuz she was hungry and already been putting up with crap for weeks. not the best way to go about things but I get it
Just a little context for the BF story: a BF woman requires between 500 and 700 extra calories a day, and that’s so she doesn’t literally waste away. It sounds like the husbands mom isn’t helping care for the baby and neither is he; and sometimes it can be hours before a baby is content enough to let you put them down. I have a great partner but if I didn’t I just wouldn’t have been able to take care of myself at all with a newborn.
The newborn story hits close to home. I have a 4 month old son. When you’re breastfeeding you’re STARVING and newborns eat every 2 hours or so (usually. Every baby is different and some do eat more frequently). It’s exhausting being a new mom. Also her hormones are still out of whack from pregnancy so she’s going to be dramatic. I feel for her. I would’ve been furious and reacted similarly when I just had my son if I’d been in her shoes honestly. But that’s because I was treated with zero compassion my entire pregnancy and during birth by the father so…I’m also biased.
You aren't biased, your lived experience is real, and real for alot of other women as well!! I wouldn't even call the hormonal imbalance being dramatic that's just what men want us to believe!!!
@@oliviaharris6720 exactly, it's funny how they mock us for our hormones when these hormones grew a clump of cells into a full human being and then those same hormones produce milk to feed said human. That's badass and just incredible, I sometimes think they're just jealous so they try to devalue us to make themselves feel better.
@@oliviaharris6720 for real, the weeks after birth are an extreme situation to be in and the men calling the reactions "dramatic" would not handle it different or "better" if they had to live through that.
I wanted to also add to the breastfeeding portion. For many women, it’s not simple to master. It can take a long time for a good latch. Not to mention how babies eat at their own leisure and don’t typically scarf their food down until satiation. They take their time and once you’ve got the successful latch you do not want to ruin it by moving around. It can take 30+ minutes easily. Newborns also often like to nurse themselves to sleep. It’s time consuming and exhausting. It requires the body to intake more calories and increases appetite as well. Just wanted to further elaborate because I don’t think most people born with penises understand the many struggles and why. All that said, the MIL should know this as she’s had kids before (obviously) so it’s hard not to see her actions as blatantly disrespectful.
Love how everyone is schooling Dylan in the comments on the new mom story. I told my mom the story and she was outraged on this lady's behalf. I agree with the rest of the takes.
@@filmfangirls9163 in what sense? Man doesn't understand how pregnancy or new motherhood works especially with food and has no respect or empathy for wife's situation. Doesn't sound far fetched
@@amemelia it depends on what perspective you come from really. I've been on the receiving end helping someone with cleaning and cooking but they told people I wasn't helping and they were doing all the work. And said I was mean to them. She could easily be making them out as bad people to gain sympathy. The fact she told her husband she wants to stay with her mom cuz she has healthy food makes me think she did have food saved for her, it just wasn't food she liked.
As a new mom who breastfeeds, the first 2 months after I had my baby, I was INSATIABLY hungry. I have never in my life felt so desperate for food, but I had also been warned that I would be hungrier than usual so I was prepared. From that experience though, I can definitely understand why the lack of consideration for her needing to eat (when she is literally creating food for her baby with her own body) was such a huge deal. I would’ve been furious too
As a mother of four, I will say that the isolation I experienced during breastfeeding was very difficult emotionally. At five weeks old, a breastfeeding baby needs to be fed every two hours, for about thirty minutes each session, but realistically you are often looking at being isolated for an hour during that time because most of the time the baby will need to nap after and it takes awhile to get them into a deep sleep. That’s 50% of your total hours during the day (and night!) spent activity caring for a baby, not able to move around and, for example, get food for yourself. It is exhausting emotionally and physically. So to be isolated, sitting alone in your room because you are literally feeding your hungry baby only to finally finish and come out to discover that the people who are supposed to love you most failed to save you dinner? Devastating. If someone is staying at your house during this vulnerable, stressful time, they had better be treating you “like a Princess” or they have zero right to be there. Zero. The only reason to be living with a five week postpartum mother is to be a help to her. One reason? Breastfeeding makes you vulnerable because it involves lifting your shirt and exposing your breasts to anyone who might be in the room. (Especially with your first baby, when you haven’t yet had the chance to refine your technique.) So if someone is in your home and you’re not comfortable with them seeing your boobs, you don’t have the luxury of being anywhere in your own home except your bedroom with the door shut. It makes it even harder to take care of yourself, feed yourself, etc. Even if MIL was being an angelic helper to the PP mother, having anyone stay in your home adds stress. There needs to be a net positive to MIL being there: she needs to be relieving more stress than she is causing. Based on the post, this was not happening.
In my culture, its customary for new moms to be taken care of by everyone else as she rests (usually her own mom who she stays with or who stays with her temporarily). The family would basically feed the mom (and guests) almost constantly. Not only is this nurturing essential for the new mom to recoup from what is essentially physical trauma, she also needs to it feed her baby. I didnt realize how essential this is until a close relative of mine had her baby; she was always ravenous after nursing. On more than one occasion, she'd nurse in bed at night, and wake up a few hours later feeling like she would pass out unless she ate something immediately. If the mom who posted the story lived in my country, not only would her MIL make her extra food, MIL would have probably fed the new mom herself since she was too busy nursing. Maybe the new mom overreacted but I totally get it. I can't fathom that kind of passive aggression directed at a new mom. (Also weird that she's nursing in a different room and the dad doesn't seem to want to use all his time outside of work to be with his newborn kid.)
In my culture the women basically take turns. After everyone greets the baby someone will stay for about a week to help mom then someone else will take a week off work and so on. Mom and baby aren't alone for MONTHS. I'm in the US now and it's a little scary to think it'll just be me and the husband then just me alone because paternity leave isn't really what it should be.
i don’t think there’s much slanting at all in the pregnancy story. wether she hadn’t eaten for 2 or 6 hours, she’s still a breastfeeding woman. Why wouldn’t you save food for a family member?
He did sympathize with her situation and that they should've left food for her for that very reason, but it's true that she shouldn't have taken the child away from the other parent over this and that she could've eaten something else. It was a drastic measure. And we can't just assume what the OP left out of her story, so he's pointing things out by what's available from one of the sides. It's still a fact that the husband's mother is a complete Karen and the husband is a mama's boy. There's no denying that.
There’s slanting in every story and clear in that one that OP wasn’t acknowledging her entitlement (although she may not be aware of it) and was also painting herself as the victim. It’s illogical to make a conclusion without all sides of the story.
Plot twist: The "best friend" in the baby name one is actually Rumpelstiltskin and the husband isn't allowed to disclose that he made a deal with him, that's why he hangs around all the time & the husband defends him.
What? I’m blown away by your opinion of the dinner story! 😳 I think the point of the story is she just had a baby, she has no privacy, house full of ppl who don’t clean, trying to bond & take care of a baby & wasn’t even thought of for a meal. Breastfeeding actually increases your appetite & your intake should be more due to feedings. It’s not that dinner is the only food left, my God, they made dinner & excluded her completely lol. Why the heck should she have to cook or make something else when her MIL came to stay to “help”. I don’t think she over reacted at all. I would have been so butthurt lmao. She doesn’t feel respected or like she’s being treated well. That’s why she was at her moms. It’s okay to pamper women especially after having a baby. They got a warm meal while she was feeding the baby & they couldn’t even think of her? Omg, I would fly off the handle. But my MIL thankfully would never impede on my life especially after giving birth. The mom is not the asshole, not even close. It’s her home, not the MIL’s. Her husband sounds like a douche bag too.
As someone who thinks it's gross someone brushes their teeth while the other is sitting on the toilet... this story bothered me so much. I don't lock my bathroom because it's just me and my bf, but if he really needs to come in while I'm showering he at least knocks and asks if he can come in first. We've been together 16 years, but privacy is still important. If his BIL walked in on me ever, I would 100% install a lock too, the agreement was with her husband, the BIL adds in a factor she didn't have to consider when they made that agreement. She's uncomfortable and her husband is TA for not considering that.
@@xDarkTrinityx You made a fantastic point that the BIL is an additional factor that she did not have to consider when the lock agreement was made!! That addition changes the entire situation and therefore absolutely nullifies the agreement.
I’d video tape it and send it to the husband. And I’m sorry but it seems there needs to be a conversation about why he doesn’t want locks. Even if there’s childhood trauma on the husbands side it doesn’t give him the right to dictate the right to security and privacy of another person. There’s a limit to the “relationships are a compromise” argument. Also you can buy door jams that are portable and he would never has to know.
With the MIL Dinner story, I understand why OP is upset about not having a meal in hours. Nursing a baby will make you hungry. Personal experience. It’s literally taking the nutrients from your body and giving it to the baby. So it’s important to AT LEAST have three meals a day. And as hormonal and sleep-deprived as a new mother is, it’s pretty understandable why she reacted the way she did. Her husband is meant to be her partner in this, and he won’t even save her a plate at dinner or scold his mom for not doing so? Nah, that’s trash.
fr they could of at least offered to make her something too if they really thought she wasnt hungry. she deserves to be treated like a queen for all shes doing to take care of that newborn
Plus the mom wasn't helping, was even making it worse with making a mess and inviting friends. Also, if the husband acts like this when she says there's an issue with his mother, no shock she kept quiet about it to a degree.
And even if she wasnt that hungry, it's just plain rude that the mother of him is supoosed to be there to help them (her own words) and based on whats the OP said, the help the mother in law provides is cooking for them (which Is a huge help), so if you cook dinner AND don't save a plate for one of the people you are supposed to be helping (by your own choice, nobody is putting you a gun in the head to help you daughter in law and your son) and say to her that is her fault cause she didn't showed up at the table, that's not only rude and inconsiderate, but also WEIRD AF, cause you aré also in HER house, you cant be a guest and disrespect the people who live there, also the effort to make food for two people isnt very diferent than food for three people, it seems like passive-aggresive behaviour
i think the issue with the pregnant woman wasnt that she was hungry but the rejection she felt when mil didnt make food for her + double rejection that her husband didnt think to do it either + triple rejection when he didnt apologize after she was upset. but i agree that it sounds like a toxic family relationship in general and there's probably a lot of baggage not being communicated in that post
As someone who has breastfeed two children I can not in words describe how hungry you get. If the dinner story happened to me I would have a breakdown. 1) the hunger 2) feeling left out, forgotten and not cared for 3) being accused of not showing up to dinner when I had to feed our baby 4) my husband not taking my side Overall I would feel betrayed and hurt. That MIL and husband are huge AHs 😡
The dinner story was ridiculous. The fact that the MIL was there trashing the place and not even helping out is so messed up and unforgivable. It's common sense that a new mother would need help in every way, especially since she's been taking care of her son all day (where's the husband's input in helping care for the child?) Im glad she went to her family's home and was treated well. The husband and MIL's actions is just nasty. And ngl, Dylan's reaction to the story got me a lil heated lol
SAME!! Oh my gosh the poor woman is exhausted and the MIL sounds like a passive aggressive narcissistic. She used the excuse of her grandchild to move in and isn’t helping the new mother at all. And, holy cow, nursing is literally sucking calories from you. And PPD can compound all the things. It sucks she married such a selfish coward.
@@irock58 I would not call the dude a selfish coward. I would call him a misguided idiot. Mama's boy at worst. Inconsiderate for sure though. MIL is def the bad guy of the story.
It’s not just the fact that breast feeding is exhausting but she is literally the only one taking care of the baby that’s exhausting, her body is still recovering from birth and that’s also exhausting. She’s only getting a few hours of sleep… I would have screamed and punched someone out of frustration at that point. Most women don’t even have the energy to shower when they have a new born i can’t imagine the anger and disrespect she felt.
i agree so much with everythings u said except that we don't know if the husband helps or not or if they have an agreement that he has to go to work and that's why his mother stays at home with his wife and the baby "helping", and he certainly cannot help in the breastfeeding process
Especially because coming over to help with chores and literally just saving leftovers (what even happened to those?) aren't "being treated by the princess".
Not to mention that with breastfeeding you get a LOT of bad things that happen to you if you don't eat when you're hungry since you're literally providing your nutrients to another human being and have nothing to replace it for yourself
@@denofentropy Only watching people that you agree with can suck you into an echo chamber where you can't even develop and grow your ideals. Even then, we're only disagreeing on one of many AITA posts. It's not like we're going through his arguments point by point to explain why he's wrong on every post he covers. Chill, we're all human and can have differing opinions.
that’s what i’m saying it’s her house shouldn’t she be allowed some food in her OWN house esp with the effort it takes to raise a new born baby while BFing? kinda stupid how he’s just taking it soooo shallowly
The one with the baby the wife is definitely NTA. My sister just recently gave birth and she doesn’t usually have time to eat until the afternoon/evening so hours might genuinely be HOURS. On top of the fact that breastfeeding takes a lot of energy and you need to eat more frequently as it’s very draining. Having his mother inside the house and just making a mess is likely adding to her stress and the husband needs to stand up for his wife and do something as simple as saving her some food even if it’s for later and she can heat it up.
Wait, did the Mother-in-Law just not cook enough food for three people? There wasn't any food left on the stove, or in the oven. Where are the leftovers. That's intentional.
Right? Like either MIL purposefully only cooked enough for two or on of them deadass went back and ate her portion. Either way thats SO rude when you know the person is literally like 20 metres away feeding their child.
Third story: What this poor woman calls being treated like a princess is being treated with kindness and decency, which is how people, especially your husband, should treat you. So yes, she has every right to want to be treated like a princess.
Horrible family dynmaics either way. Husband is a man child, families feuding where neither like the others mothers, and she just bolts at the first stressful moment and claims she won't come back because she's getting pampered back in her mother nest. It's a shitty start to a new life either way.
@@stevenpuckitt212 that's so true. Honestly the one I feel the most for is the baby. I feel like that that poor thing is going to forced to choose sides for the rest of their life.
@@stevenpuckitt212 It's an absolutely reasonable assumption. As women, even in modern society, we are taught to be the ones who are responsible for cooking cleaning, taking care of the home and children. When someone is doing things for us like doing laundry or cooking, many of us do feel it is being pampered versus just an act of kindness. Yes, it's the bare minimum respect/kindness, especially in the situation of being a new mom, but I guarantee you a lot of women will describe it as being pampered because it is extremely out of the ordinary.
@@colliemom22 It's still just an assumption. I could assume the MIL cooked food for her frequently that the wife never ate because it wasn't "healthy" based on this post too. That'd also be just an assumption. Either way the husbands a douche, the in laws don't get along, the couple doesn't communicate, and instead of hashing it out they run away from their problems. They're headed straight to misery or divorce. The husbands a cop so no doubt he's an ahole that does very little. None of that changes that a lot of these comments are adding a lot of personal bias built on assumptions to drive their opinion that the wife is in no way misleading readers or wrong in any way. And that isn't to say that's what's happening either. It's just one side to a story written very favorably to one party.
OP in the third story was 100% not the a-hole. She had just given birth 5 weeks prior to writing the post, her MIL wasn't being helpful with the baby, we don't know how much her husband was helping with the baby, and she was breast feeding which is why she wasn't at the table. All of that would make her insanely tired and hungry. Her MIL saying "well you weren't at the table so you don't get food" was extremely petty. She's also getting used to eating for own nutrition again after 9 months of eating to feed another life, so its going to be a big shift. Plus, who doesn't save someone a plate when they're busy? That's just common decency
and the mom is scoolding her like if she had saved a plate and she had to eat it before it got cold when there wasnt even a single piece of food there for her to eat. Thats why i think mil didnt even call her to eat, theres no food for her so its not logical for mil to do so, she knew she was alone with her son and knowing he would always side with her she didnt care at all. Also shes saying that like if when u have a baby there is a certain time to eat when in general theres not even a time to eat and they have to do it while doing other important things, so how is OP supposed to know it was time for dinner?
@@camilas.5294 Exactly what I was thinking. Like yeah there was probably other food in the house, but having to make yourself a bowl of cold cereal or cook something/microwave it, when there had been a hot meal ready that they didn't just save or you...that's just not a good feeling. I mean who even cooks just enough for two people when there are three in the house? And if someone's pregnant and breastfeeding you should be making EXTRA, so there are a bunch of leftovers for them.
@@blackkittenb literally like wasnt the mil there to help especially the baby? like not feeding the mother who is breastfeeding isnt an intelligent take in that sense…
During 3 months after my sister in law gave birth, my mom cooked for her everyday and we brought the food to the bedroom for her (with a specific diet good for her health), and we helpped taking care of the baby when she needed to rest. The husband and the mom of the story in this video lack consideration towards the wife's mental state after giving birth, which is when she is very tired and sensitive. Post pregnancy depression is real and it takes just small things to trigger it. If the mom stays in their house to HELP, then she should atleast cook for the one who gave birth to and taking care of her grandchildren
Absolutely! But she never communicated ANY OF THAT...she never said she needed something, never asked her MIL to do anything different and then blew up out of no where and took the child away from its father...then sent pics to the dad days later as a form of manipulation....everyone is the asshole here
@@Sam82631 In the beginning of the post the OP said she learned to not discuss things about his mother with her husband because he will always take her side. Scolds her because his mother is there to help but it seems she adds more pressure to the household. Many parents say no guests because it's just too much with a new born, let alone with the guest inviting guests lol. If someone comes to live in a house and claim they are here to help by cooking, why should the OP ask the mother? Why is the mother staying for extended time where company should be limited if she's not helping like she originally said? Thats the entire reason the mother is staying in the house and it's mentioned in the first sentences that the mother invites other people over that add to the mess. Obviously alot more problems than OP asking about dinner. She sent him pictures of his son because they couldn't compromise the hatred for either mother's. He sent her pictures of him and his mom cooking. Hers seems unintentionally manipulative because I do understand and believe her reasoning, wanna make it clear I still see it as manipulation. However the husband sent that as a tit for tat, what other reason could he have sent that for? I personally can't think of a reason but there could be a logical one , idk.
@@Sam82631 ....stop. OP already said: "If the mom stays in their house to HELP, then she should atleast cook for the one who gave birth to and taking care of her grandchildren." The MIL did not keep good on her promise (or even have the most basic decency to ensure some food would be left for the mother). What more needs to be communicated? It's not some niche need of hers to be fed, is it? It's common sense and decency. Basic respect should not need to be communicated to grown ass adults. So maybe instead of asking "why didn't she communicate" u should ask "why didn't MIL/husband have enough foresight and consideration to ensure that the new breast-feeding mother gets some food"??? Also, if you could pay attention to detail, you'd notice the submission states the wife no longer speaks up because her husband consistently dismisses her concerns and takes MIL's side. So her leaving was not out of nowhere, and she did right by her and her baby to leave a neglectful household for a caring one.
L take on saving a dinner plate section. It's an entire meal she's missing out on, not just a snack that she can find in a pantry. She was also the one BREASTFEEDING the baby so it makes sense that she would take the baby with her to her mom's house. And, if she's willing to have her MIL living in her home, then the husband should also be able to endure a visit just to see their baby. OP is NTA.
I agree with what others have said here about the breastfeeding woman. It wasn’t about the food, but the fact that, not only did they not think about her well-being, but openly mocked her needs. I’ve been in a relationship like that when I was pregnant and then breastfeeding (had to make dinner while in labor, while husband complained about it; when family came over to “help” with the baby which ended up me entertaining them, instead) and she is better off with her mother.
god my sister went through the same thing. she's now engaged to a wonderful man who puts their kids and her before anyone else. if the baby needs something or my sister couldn't do it after the birth he'd find a way to reieve that for her and the baby. the spectrum of men is astounding.
Breastfeeding a new born is a full time job. It burns 100s of extra calories a day, and if you add up all the time she spends sitting there nursing it’s about 30 hours or more a week. She should be eating or drinking water every time she breastfeeds but her focus is on her baby and she’s exhausted. That her husband didn’t set something aside is awful. My husband literally offered to get me a drink or a snack pretty much any chance he had in those early weeks. Yes leaving might seem a little dramatic but I completely understand how hurt she was.
I know "hours" doesn't seem like a lot, but when you are breastfeeding, you get absolutely ravenous. I definitely ate like a bear while breast feeding. The MIL has been through pregnancy, she would have know what it was like, so it seems like not saving food was a deliberate act. I'm definitely getting the vibe that there was preexisting tension with the MIL. Also, the mother of the baby is dealing with a whole bunch of hormones at the same time. Having someone in your space post partum, especially if you're feeling like that person isn't helping you out, but is actively making things worse... I can totally understand her leaving.
I’ve never been pregnant but I still remember when my mother was breastfeeding my youngest sibling and she ate a mf feast for every single meal lol. I can’t imagine denying someone who’s literally feeding a baby 24/7 a mf meal
During the first few months of breastfeeding, I ate so much! I would grab a plate of snacks to have whenever I had to pump because I was constantly hungry. The MIL was in the wrong. She should have been more helpful and supportive. Husband is trash too.
i do like the editing but it also was a little overwhelming. i think it would be good if the editor let some of the scenes of him talking just be, instead of zooming in or adding a text or image to every scene. otherwise it was super funny.
the story with the breastfeeding mother screams abusive relationship. her saying that she can’t speak about her husbands mother without him yelling at her and the multiple instances of fear from her. nah i feel so bad for that woman
Right? “You never opened your mouth about the mom, you blew up out of nowhere about food” rubbed me the wrong way because it’s untrue, she has tried to bring it up but is scolded every time with excuses. Also, not about food, it’s about being inconsiderate. The food situation was the straw that broke the camel’s back
I think you are spot on, he sounds awful. His mother is there to help him exert control over his wife, as this wouldn’t be the first abuser backed by his mom. There is also the fact he is a cop and one can google it arround 40% are or have been abusive to their partners. I hope she stays with her family, and her whole family knocks sense into her
@@AdamIshak01 He says in the video "there's this quote that I like" so if he put it on anything he'd have to license it, which probably isn't cost effective for the size of his potential sales. If he could even do that. But you can always go buy yourself a plain shirt and put it on for yourself!
For the last one, I do think the husband is very respectful in terms of acknowledging her struggles. Doing the chores for her and asking politely (I assume) wether she could help a bit again is very nice of him. As someone who struggles with depression I wish people would have that amount of sympathy for my condition, since it is very hard to even get out of bed sometimes. If she gets this amount of sympathy I do think the husband deserves to get the coffee he likes, especially when it’s in their budget. I think she should be more grateful for the work the husband puts into chores so she can rest and work on her mental health and I honestly don’t understand why she had to make the comment about the coffee. Yes his outburst wasn’t particularly sensitive but it happens sometimes when a situation just causes rage you know? So I don’t think anyone is the asshole here, I think the wife should allow the husband to get the coffee he likes for the amount of work he has to do and the husband should try and walk away from a stressful situation since comments like this can cause a lot of damage in a mind of a depressed person. It’s a difficult situation and the solutions aren’t great but it is manageable.
tottaly agree. a I think she was wrong for asking him to stop buying the coffe, since he is the one with the money, he can decide. if he ever thinks they need to spend less, i'm sure he would stop. Is not like he is being irresponsable. when you are living and helping someone with depression is good to take care of your own mental health so you can keep being supportive
Honestly i really relate to the wife. Im the youngest in my family (15) My family and i are struggling a lot financially and it stresses me when i see them buy unecessary things like snacks or like soda 5x a week....ive been reprehended for trying to be frugal, my whole family is against me because i worry about bigger things we already struggle paying. And as a kid it stresses me severely and makes me anxious about my future (since education is one of those said 'bigger things') especially when my mom reminds us of how we are struggling. Ive been in a slump lately, god i cant even write this without holding back my tears. Ive felt denigrated and misunderstood by my family my whole life. I want to communicate with them properly since i struggle with words, but now i just give up. Im tired of trying so hard to bond with them and get along and play nice with my efforts being futile. theyre just not worth it anymore. Ive not talked to my family in weeks even if we remain in the same cramped place.
@@Nickelberkelium I'm sorry about your situation, but I think it's not comparable to the wife and husband's. The husband stated that buying that coffee is not going over their budget, besides, he seems to be under a very stressful situation with work and house chores, so buying a coffee that will help keep his spirits up through difficult times can be really helpful and is harmless. But in your case, if you're having a lot of financial struggle and your family spendings are way over what you can actually afford, I understand and hope you all can get through this.
@dimly I think that you're right about the wife's perspective, when you're depressed you tend to internalise a lot and I can understand that while her depression keeps her from being able to contribute it doesn't keep her from feeling bad about it or from worrying about their financial situation. If anything it might make her more aware/anxious about the monetary situation. I do think that the husband has been very understanding and it can be very difficult to communicate with people in that kind of mental state so I don't think that he was in the wrong to snap. All in all its just a sucky situation.
If they named the baby after the friend on their own terms that would be a sweet gesture, but him immediately naming someone else’s baby trying to enforce it then running away when it didn’t work is weird. Edit: Also WHY DO YOU HAVE A NO LOCK AGREEMENT?! And the brother barges in?! They’re both red flags, I’d run far far away.
One of my friend told me her husband wanted to name their child the same name as his father and she didn't like it so she disagreed. He kept forcing her but the kid turned out to be a girl and she was so relieved because he didn't care what she named, if the child was a girl. I cant imagine what his thought process must have been. some people are just weird.
The woman with the MIL who didn't save a dinner plate: "I said nothing because if I opened my mouth, my husband would start scolding me..." Dude, she didn't say nothing because she'd get attacked for it. Yeah, it was fucked up the MIL only cooked dinner for two when there's a woman she's SUPPOSED to be helping that hasn't had food yet? This woman is also inviting people into the home of a newborn, which not everyone is happy with because of germs, and that's a terrible time to have people over. Why didn't her husband say something about his wife getting dinner? He's created a hostile environment for her where he values his mom more. Did he not notice all the people coming in and out, the mess in the house? She had every right to go to a safe environment where she had people actually caring for her and helping. She might even have more control over her environment with her own mom, keeping the baby safe and healthy. She shouldn't be forced to endure a bunch of stress in a somewhat hostile environment. And nobody else is breastfeeding the baby...
Agreed, and it almost sounds like the mom came to help with the new born but instead is just taking care of her son, weird. Also breastfeeding burns a crazy amount of calories.
Exactly! Even if she’s leaving out a ton of stuff that she’s done to make herself look better, her husband isn’t supportive and him and his mom gang up on her. I see no problem leaving for a supporting environment for herself. She wouldn’t leave the baby when he works all day and she’s still breastfeeding is he going to do it for her or drop the kid off at 2 am when their hungry and crying for mom🤦♀️
Dylan, I’m sorry but breastfeeding takes a lot out of the body. Sometimes this is literal because the calcium will literally be taken from the bones if there isn’t enough in the diet. There’s videos of women showing how much they have to eat in a day to keep up a healthy milk supply. Also, the mother in the story would have to take her son because needs her to eat as pumping or formula are not always an option.
The breastfeeding story makes my blood boil. When I was breastfeeding my child, I was exhausted and felt like it'd been days since I ate something. It takes energy to breastfeed a child and you need that energy even more afterwards. I'm sure the MIL knew what she was doing, even if she didn't breastfeed her kids when they were young, she would still be exhausted after a long day of doing everything in the house all by herself plus taking care of a baby on top of it.
The bathroom thing is beyond creepy. I would straight up ask that person to leave. I was at a coffee shop with two bathrooms, both non-gendered, one across from the other. I went to use one with both being clearly open due to the doors being open. A guy seated across the shop from them also got up presumably to use the other one. I shut the door and locked it. That guy YANKED my door handle and pushed to get in like I had just stolen his wallet or something. There was no way he did not see me walking into that one due to where he was sitting initially and him walking close behind. My gut told me that guy banks on people, probs women, not locking the door and "accidentally" walking in. If he would have successfully got in even though the door was locked, I would have reported him to the shop.
This one was so bad, especially since he walked in when she was showering? You can easily hear when people are showering from outside the room, he was 100% doing that on purpose and that is creepy as fuck, especially when that person is your brothers wife
@@idontknow898 completely agreed. It's either he has literally no social understanding/respect or its a weird power thing he gets off on. The husband not allowing her to install a lock is just plain absurd which also gives me creepy vibes.
women being called crazy and paranoid by their male partners just because they haven't experienced the same uncomfortable thing their female partners have is unfortuately not a wild unrealistic situation to happen 4:00
I'm a housewife trying to get my art business going (no current income). If my husband works so hard and picks up so much overtime (the only income) he can spoil himself with whatever coffee brand he wants AND I'll make it for him gladly! He deserves it. What I see in most of these couples is that they need to love each other more and communicate better.
I'm a housewife too, whenever my husband asks if he can get something, I never say "no" he can get whatever tf he wants! I only ask since I keep track of the finances that he thinks the decision through for a few days if it's a big one, like getting a new gaming console. If he just wants a treat from the store I'd ask if he was okay if he asked me 🤦🏼♀️
Bro Fr. He’s the one paying for the groceries I think he has more of a day what’s on the list because se without him there would be no groceries as she’s not even trying to have an income for herself.
The dinner story had me heated my dads mom came to live with us to “help my mom” when my brother was born and basically just lived rent free and didn’t do anything to actually help (except the one time she tried to quiet him by sticking a nicotine stained finger in my days old brothers mouth). This woman was receiving no help AND the MIL was making her life even harder and then didn’t even leave leftovers???
Tbf that was kinda the wife's fault for not communicating with her husband how she felt about his mother living with them. They're both hypocrites imo.
@@ShannanMV you are completely wrong, i just don’t know why u needed to reply to me. And unless ur living with them i have no idea how u know if they talked about something or not. Stop defending bad people
@@ShannanMV yeah it sounds like no one in that situation was in the right. They all seem like petty people. Kinda sounds like they didn't even know she was home 😅
Didn’t know she was home? When she was taking care of THEIR baby? Maybe the dad should, idk be a dad and go check how she’s doing?? How the fuck would you not know your wife and newborn baby were even home. Why are you people even commenting I feel like my brain is turning to mush
@@bubble_gum_witch It’s a public comment section? Dk why you’re so pressed when I responded civilly. It’s pointed out in the video she included in her comment something like ‘I just smiled and didn’t say anything.’ 😂 Idk how that’s anyone’s fault but her own. Nobody in that story new how to communicate but the OP slanted it in her favour by acting as if she was communicating when in reality, she avoided communication the most out of everyone. ALL of them are in the wrong, I’m not defending bad people (life’s not black and white 🙄) and I’m not ‘completely wrong’ how you dare you be so fucking rude. Get some perspective and DON’T respond to civil comments with unnecessary passive aggressive comments and such bitchy attitude.
The only thing that bugged me was dylan not understanding the main reason of the MIL being in that home. She was there to help out the woman post delivery. Least she could do was cook and then she goes like nope no food today bye, wth are you here for ? If the post pregnant lady has to take care of the baby and then go make food for herself???? Like damn, why are you even here for if not to help/ take care??
exactly... the dinner was the last straw... after doing nothing to help and leaving more work than anything else, she then what? purposefully not cook enough food for the wife? the wife breastfeeding a 5 week old? seriously, it doesn't matter there's something else she can make, that's just *more* work
Heavy disagree on story #3 Dylan ignored key details like the fact that the mother is supposedly "putting her life on hold to help" them, while also taking up their living room, making a mess and inviting people over into THEIR home. He wouldn't LET her bring up anything about his mom and the fact that she's being told she should be grateful for MIL "help" while also making more work for the mom who is taking care of this newborn baby BY HERSELF is just a slap in the face. I'm so glad she finally took that straw and ran when she could. Who knows how bad his behavior towards his wife could of gotten the longer she stayed. (Statistics in 2020 show that domestic violence is 40% more likely within families of law enforcement, compared to the 10% of average families) UGH man, Dylan, your opinion on that was just aggravating to listen to, it's like you didn't actually read the story and ran with just the dinner situation by itself. I mean too, with how the father sent pictures of himself and his mom cooking together as "revenge", shows he clearly has enmeshment issues. Then there's the whole double standard where she has to live with and respect his mother, but he says he can't see his son while she's away because he hates her mother??? WTF is wrong with that man. Congrats on the divorce, mama!
About the dinner story, I agree with the mom. Pregnancy and breatfeeding takes everything out of you, you absolutely need food often even if it’s a smaller snack. Going hours can really bring a nursing person to a point where they can’t get up just because they’re hungry and it’s painful. A few hours can be painful if it’s not taken care of earlier on. I know from first hand experience, it’s not nice.
My opinions on the stories: 1) Why does her husband think their child's name is a "small gesture?" That is literally deciding the identity of a person for their entire life. Red flag. 2) After the first time the BIL barged in when he knew she was in the bathroom, he should've been kicked out of the house. What kind of awful husband lets that become a consistent issue in the first place? 3) She has every right to be pissed about not having a plate saved for her. This is clearly a straw that broke the camel's back situation, but from what she says, it seems she never expressed an issue earlier. So while I'm mostly on her side, I understand why her husband thinks she's overreacting, as it seems he thinks this is a reaction to purely the one instance, not a result of built up issues. 4) I wouldn't find it weird if the boyfriend was just upset that he had no control over the money, but he basically stole her credit card. That's 1000% not okay. 5) I didn't know babies could get legally married. Weird that a full grown woman decided to marry one though. 6) Maybe should've put more effort into making sure the call was short, but the husband is just as capable of ending the call. The BIL just wants to blame a woman rather than his brother. 7) Does this man want his family to starve??? Let her make 4 eggs. 8) Dude has no reason to complain when he gets to live at a nice place for so cheap. I can understand not liking the feeling of imbalance that comes from the girlfriend living for free while he has to pay, but also that's his problem. He should not expect her to split it with him. 9) If he's fully aware of the financial situation and knows they can afford the nice coffee just fine, then he's doing nothing wrong. Maybe there's a reason his wife cared so much about this that he's not sharing or she's not communicating with him.
To me the "I said nothing because if I open my mouth my husband starts scolding me" implies that she absolutely did try to express her issues, he responded poorly, she gave up and he thought that meant the problem was solved. Which leans me to blame her husband more.
For the 9th one, I was completely on his side the whole story until he snapped, I fully understand that when someone keeps pestering us we have a breaking point and he isn't a bad person but he could've definitely worded it better
@@lorenzodemedici6332 That's called, not being a good husband. Your wife is supposed be more than a government document, so unless your relationship is subpar, that makes no sense. You chose her to spend your life with. Why do that if your relationship is worth no more than the paper you signed?
The breastfeeding one was so triggering. First time mums need a lot of help. Sleep deprivation and breastfeeding consumes your life. My mother fed me for two months. There were days when I didn’t eat for from 8am to 11 pm but because my mum made sure there was food in the house, I was able to eat. Once I left my mum’s house with baby, husband wasn’t as clued on, but tried. Made sure there was water and food in arm’s reach when breastfeeding.
I feel like a lot of the time (not saying all the time) when a girl says she wants to be “treated like a princess” she means treated like a person who’s opinion and feelings matters
But to so many men, that's high maintenence so they come to think having any standards is 'being a princess'. It's a noticeable, ongoing problem for real
@@aff77141 a lot of men are also really emotionally unavailable bc of how society has treated them and the whole concept of masculinity. So I feel like what high maintenance is to a lot of men is actually average treatment. But a lot of women also have never been treated properly so they accept the bare minimum from anyone that shows them interest. It’s a whole thing but in anyones eyes “if they really loved you they’d do anything you need to keep you”.
Fair enough, but in my personal experience, girls who "want to be treated like a princess" have a sense of entitlement. Daddy's princess, give everything to me ect. Different experiences I guess. But everyone deserves to have their opinions felt. Especially by their partner.
What the fu😂 That’s seriously BS. 90% of people who say they wanted to be treated like a princess meant that they want to be spoiled materially, loved unconditionally and be the number one priority. I would know cause I say that shit and I’ve seen countless ppl say that phrase and mean it the same way I do. This is the first time that I’ve seen someone conjure up a deeper meaning to the phrase “want to be treated like a princess”. When you say want to be treated like a princess, you mean it literally. not some philosophical bs. And there’s nothing wrong with harboring some selfish desires and indulging fantasy
From the number of likes you got makes me believe that this might be true though which begs the question whyyy though? Because if you want to be treated like a person who's opinion and feelings matter, why not just come out and say it, why encrypt it in some saying. And also there are princesses who's opinions and feelings don't matter. You wanna be treated like princess Diana??
About the dinner situation, I'm with you on the fact that all three parties here are in the wrong for different reasons, but I feel like the husband and his mom should have left her dinner anyways unless she explicitly said not to! It's not about the house not having any other food, it's just weird that you would not set a plate aside for someone you live with especially for a woman who just gave birth
Yeah, it's not like they inquired whether she wanted to eat before eating her share. All of them were insensitive (Dylan too) to the a person who's exhausted and I recovery and it just really rankles me.
Learned recently that when a pregnant lady doesn’t get enough nutrients from her food, her body takes what’s already there (like I read teeth falling out?? Cause of the calcium that the baby needed). You’d think the MIL would empathize with her since she’s gone through pregnancy and should’ve kept some food for OP 🥲
also the fact that she was breastfeeding & probably extremely hungry? also the fact that she should automatically get food considering she literally just gave birth
literally!! if i cook i'm asking everyone in the house first if they want a plate or not. it's so easy to just check. and MIL trying to lecture her about dinner time in her own home? hell no.
I feel for that dinner mom whose husband works in department lol. Imagine pushing a whole human, being sleep deprived, emotionally and physically drained. Noone is helping you with any chores and top of that nobody even saves dinner for you.
I've never had a child but I have been super hungry and that feeling of going to the kitchen expecting food and there is no food is hands down one of the worst. I was literally crying and screaming. I can only imagine how worse this was for a breast feeding mother. Reeaaaaaaaaaallly bad take Dylan 😔
YES!! even when it’s just something small i was saving for myself it’s so frustrating, being a breast feeding mother and having that happen sounds horrible
He obviously has no way of knowing what it feels like to have gone through pregnancy… 😅 He totally didn’t minimize her concerns related to pregnancy but her concerns about the food (which were pretty obviously not the real concern here but everything that had already gone down before in that family) 😩
Sooo, she just produced a meal for an entire human using the nutrients from her body, and they DIDN'T think she'd need a meal to make up for it after? Ok.
No cause the dinner story relationship made me so mad. The mom(op) was 100% in the right tbh. I’m assuming she put up with so much other crap that she met her tipping point. And the fact that it was in her own home as well?!?! Bro I cannot
I don't understand what MIL cooked that nothing was left for her. When I cook I usually have at least 4 portions of said food. It feels very intentional.
On top of that is makes a lot of sense that she wanted something to eat very bad since she was expending a lot of energy to take care of the child and breastfeeding. I am 100% on her side
When I was in high school I practically lived at my girlfriends house and every time I went in the shower her father would find an excuse to come into the bathroom including when I was getting dressed. It gave me SUCH anxiety but I was a teenager and living at his house for free so I felt like I couldn’t say anything but every time I had to shower my heart was hammering. I 100% feel for that girl
the first one when the guys says to just do this “one small thing” by letting the friend name the baby is hilarious. ONE SMALL THING? that’s that kids name forever!!
Labor and delivery nurse here: breastfeeding actually does take a lot out of you. You should definitely eat every few hours, even if it’s a snack. They actually encourage you to eat every time you feed or pump, and newborns usually feed every 2-3 hours…so yeah she was probably really hungry lol
this was very informative! Thank you for your insight
Yeah, that one story pissed me off a bit. While I think the mother leaving was a bit over the top, the starving wasn't an over exaggeration. Women who are pregnant or breastfeeding are eating for two. And you don't even have to be a nurse to know that. While it may not be the most well known fact, it should at least seem obvious since it's very much taking nutrients from the woman's body, turning it into something a baby can consume and then giving it to them.
Also I don't know how the family didn't have left overs. If you prepare for 3 people and only 2 eat, sure they can finish it all, but I feel they wouldn't have been able to eat so fast. So in general I think they weren't preparing enough. And esspecially if the mother should be eating more than usual. And you'd think the husband's mother would understand the additional effects of breastfeeding and wouldn't just assume.
@@keelinnaylor I feel like the MIL threw away the leftovers 😂
@@keelinnaylor nope. Leaving was the right thing to do. And it's not about food.
That MIL was making a flipping point by not feeding her. If you're not at the table, no food for you. One should not have to deal with that sort of disrespect in your own home. And then to poke at her with my son works while you're at home? And her husband taking his mom's side, when she's clearly in the wrong? Nuh-uh.
She needs to set the tone of their relationship going further or else she'd be this mother and son's doormat and target for life. That's not good for her nor for her kids.
Yeah I remember doing that when I was nursing my daughter
The BIL barging into the bathroom doesn't sound like a boundary issue tbh - if it was, he would probably also do it to the brother. But she mentioned that he doesn't. The fact that he's ONLY doing it to the wife makes it pretty clear that he has some gross ulterior motives. That's straight-up sexual harassment, and it's pretty awful that her husband was angry with her for trying to stop that harassment - especially when he was apparently just letting it happen.
This one legit makes me sick... Your wife just confessed she was uncomfortable with a certain behaviour and you don't understand it? Well doesn't mean you should call her paranoid and not listen to her. Even if you don't agree with her it's your wife for fucks sake so consider her opinion and do something about it even if you don't understand or agree with it fr
Hasn't that man learned that people have the right to have another perspective on something and that his own perspective isn't the only one that counts?
I could have sworn she even mentioned that the husband said something about her complaints ruining their agreement. Her agreement with him to allow BIL to stay with them? Or did he have done other side agreement relating to his wife with his BIL? I dunno. Something is very fishy and disgusting in that whole arrangement.
Yeah that's awful. I think she needs to get out of that place asap. Hand him the divorce papers (or mail them) and gtfo.
They fact that the husband has an issue with a bathroom door having a lock on it also seems like a red flag and is a really weird thing to get upset about. Especially if there are other people like the brother living in the house.
@@cr-lb5yh I feel like this woman married a serial killer duo....I think in that one she needs to run like the wind.
The husband’s decent into full on man-baby was so unexpected, I lost it at “he started crying and throwing his juice all over the place” 💀
They should really invest in one of those no-spill sippy cups. Keeps the juicy juice right in the cuppy cup. Works for my toddler nieces and nephews, bet it'd work for this grown damn man.
At one point I started to wonder why does this person gets to be married to an adult…
Speaking of man-babies, how come no one's talking about no.3 and how much of a red flag having agreed to not install any locks in the house as basic rule of their marriage is? As if privacy and the mere capacity for setting physical boundaries in itself is a breach of trust. Cause yikes. Like why is it so important to you that your partner doesn't even have the ability to get physically away from you? Call me cynical but my mind goes to pretty dark places considering a lot of abusive people only show their true colors after they feel like they have sufficiently "trapped" you by marrying you. Ladies- and others- privacy and boundaries are good and necessary for any healthy partnership and if your SO is worth their salt, they will respect that instead of treating them like threats to your relationship. Dylan was way too lenient on that one imo.
Even if it isn't this sinister though, it also reminds me of these fb couples who merge their socials after marriage in a show of "we do everything together bc we love each other so much uwuu we have nothing to hide from each other uwuwu" when in reality it just shows their lack of trust in each other and insecurity in their relationship. If you need to put your partner in a position where you get to monitor their every social interaction/they don't have the ability to be fully physically autonomous from you in order to feel like things between you are good, then suffice to say you don't trust this person, you aren't secure in your relationship and you need to learn what boundaries are.
yea I was lowkey expecting there to be a plot twist and the story was actually her 5 year old and not her husband lmao
typical male behaviour
the mother and food story! I had this happen to me after my 2nd baby was born. With a 1.5yr old and a newborn being breastfed upstairs, my husband, friends, and his siblings ordered pizza for us all. I finished breastfeeding and pumping, changing their diapers and i come downstairs (this is late in the evening and in definite need of comfort food)...there was no pizza left. I just stood there, staring out at the kitchen, and just cried. I just couldnt believe what i was looking at. Its everything going through your mind 100mps(hormones, high stress, exhaustion,...depletion!) that there's no rationalizing. My husband later said he thought that someone would have saved me some. You should have! He drove and got me my own fave pizza. All is forgiven but I feel this woman.
Just like this! The MIL should have said “sorry, I didn’t know you where hungry. Let me go make you some dinner right now” and it would have been over just like that
@@loganpaul9759 Having been a new mother herself, she should have known that, of course she's hungry! Nursing moms are always, constantly hungry!
I felt crazy if I hadn't eaten for three hours and sometimes less when I was breastfeeding lol
I don’t have kids and haven’t been pregnant so I don’t know how it feels exactly, but I know what it’s like to be hangry and if you come in the room expecting food when someone has ordered for the whole group and there’s nothing left I would be raging too. When I’m hungry I get very irate and snappy, and say some irrational stuff, so that combined with the stress of looking after a baby and the fatigue from breastfeeding would definitely make me blow up at someone 😭
I didn’t have this happen to breastfeeding or pregnant. It was a fiancé relationship- ordered Popeyes chicken and bought 10 extra biscuits, I told him to go ahead and eat without me because I was on a work call. 30min later i come back to find a plate of food to eat and found everything was eaten (nearly 20 biscuits and family size chicken order) All gone im 30 min! I was livid!!!! He thought it was funny and I shouldn’t take it too much over $45 in junk food and I can’t even get a single piece of chicken or biscuit. He said he thought I bought the food just for him. The nerves
I’m not even pregnant but I can vividly imagine the feeling of betrayal when she came out her room and the people she loves actually just disregarded her like that and then said it’s her fault and that she should be thankful. It’s not about the food, it’s about the disappointment that they didn’t care about her.
I love call me kevin too. (Random but your name and photo)
@@sarablackwell4120 same!! He's hilarious.
This is exactly it!!
I watched this with my mom and she told me about how she was treated after giving birth to me and like damn is it a part of our culture to disrespect women after they give birth?
So~ having two kids that I breastfed I'll just point out, that hunger when you feed the baby is on a whole another level, seriously. I ate 2-3 times a day before kids, while feeding I ate non stop, everything nad big portions and i still LOST weight. Now I eat normally again. Disappointment yes, but hell yeah it was about food too xD
Staying over at a new mothers home to “help” and not helping, especially not FEEDING HER… is frankly unforgivable. And if the husband had a single brain cell he’d understand that and rectify the situation immediately. It never should have gotten to the point where the new mom had to leave her husband and home and go live with her family again to get support. New moms need so much more support!
Honestly, the most infuriating part to me was the husband saying, "What the fuck do you want me to do about it?" as if he's powerless against his superior mother. How cruel. How cold. How flippant. Like, defend your wife, asshole. Or at least don't further embarrass her or be condescending.
If you don't want to risk getting furious at your own mother, fine, try to keep the peace, but at least pull your wife aside to another room and say, "I'm really sorry, I don't think she meant anything by it, but it was dumb of us to forget or not knock on the door and ask you. I've just been exhausted at work, but of course you have been too, with all the feedings and sleepless nights. We'll fix you up something to eat now, or place a dinner delivery, and try not to let it happen again. Is there anything else bothering you, though? You seem to be...reacting strongly here, but I know I'm not home a lot to notice if there's more." Why is that difficult? Why is empathizing and asking questions and compromising difficult? No wonder she got the hell out of that enviorment. Even when my hormones aren't running wild, I would probably break down if my partner said, "What the fuck do you want me to do about it?" right in FRONT of the person who just hurt and belittled me. Thanks for the support.
@anherb I think when he said that he wasn't seeing the full picture and considering that it was a new mother who was personally recovering from giving birth, and breast feeding. he did agree in the end with the comment from that post that said new moms need food because they breast feed. people can learn and he did ask for our thoughts SO HE COULD LEARN and widen his perspective.
@anherb i didnt really say that it did. Like i said he did agree in the end which means he corrected himself and he also asked for our thoughts on the matter which could further educate him. Yea okay he didnt put that much importance to it but he corrected himself in the end by agreeing with the comment under the post.
So many of these IATA stories reveal really deep, really bad dynamics that the OP hasn’t fully processed. This seems to be the case no matter who the A-hole is in most of them.
@anherb i know she was breastfeeding but she, and everyone in this scenario, reacted poorly.
so was there was absolutely no other food in the house that she could have eaten on the one occasion that dinner was not cooked for her??
Or at least explain that she's tired and if someone could make her something, instead of storming off. Because from an outside perspective it seems like its from this one time. When every other time the mother in law makes dinner.
The dinner story was so ridiculous. I can imagine just how furious I would be taking care of the baby all day, looking forward to eating and putting the baby down for NOTHING. I would be moved to tears
Use my groceries and not leave me food, thems fighting actions
literally like either of them could have just simply asked her if she was hungry , its that simple
not only that, SHES BREASTFEEDING!! OF COURSE SHE WILL BE STARVING AFTERWARDS! you would think another mother would understand that.
exactly. yes its true she couldve just eaten something else from the fridge or the pantry, but she shouldnt have to since y'know, her MIL cooked dinner for them. it makes me think, did the MIL ever cook enough for her or just enough for herself and her son?
and even if she wasn't breastfeeding, why would you just eat someone's portion before asking if they want it ?? that's weird
You don’t just accidentally forget to have a plate ready for a breast feeding mother. Husband might’ve assumed but he sounds like a jerk. MIL definitely did it on purpose, sounds like the type of mom who gets jealous of her son’s S/O.😃
Exactly. If I had been the MIL, I’d save a plate AND go ask if she needs something. The MIL is not there to help, she’s there for her precious manchild and to set up her own rules in someone else’s house with someone else’s child. The response to that story kinda grossed me out from this channel nul.
@@mandarina4157 💯 💯
Lmao espacially cos she's LITERALLY THERE TO HELP HER OUT
And he expects her to like his mom all while hating her mom?
and as a mother she knows that breast feeding mothers are very hungry all the time
I love the way the husband in the first one calls it a "small gesture" WHEN IT IS LITERALLY THE NAME OF THEIR FIRSTBORN
RIGHT? that kid has to live a whole 80 years with that name 😭
There are fairytales of promises regarding firstborns and it's never a small gesture.
I think for me it'd make a difference if we knew the name. If he chose "John" I wouldn't care, it's whatever. If he chose "Goku" I'd have a problem with that.
Now, full disclosure: all my family has the tradition of having 2 names, only using the first name in family settings and once we grow up we usually switch to using our middle name or a nickname. We're weird about names.
@@bluestarkiller In this case though it seems very likely that if they let him name their child, he's going to feel like he's got some type of claim on the child and having a say in the raising of the child, etc.
Right? What is his friend, a hedge witch?
Dylan, nursing makes you absolutely starving, and also the father is definitely a hypocrite when he expects his wife to be around a mother she doesn’t like but he refuses to do the same
Exactly! Tbh the mother-in-law living in her house “to help out with the baby” but isn’t helping (except cooking when her son is around).. it probably just adds an even bigger burden for the new mom. And she went through pregnancy herself so it seems pretty obvious that she dislikes the wife and is maybe even using this as an opportunity to stay in their home claiming to be helping them while meddling in their relationship and actually creating more problems
I'm nursing right now and I can say this is 100 percent true 👍 😅
Yes! You burn thousands of calories when you breastfeed!
I really couldn’t believe he was slamming her so much for being upset as a hungry breastfeeding woman…
exactly !!!!!!
Ending up in these kind of relationships is like nightmare to me
Same!
Big same. Happy to stay single if that’s the alternative haha
After every story I was thinking there couldn't possibly be any relationship scenario worse than the last, and then the next one comes and I'm stuck in a cringe position all over again 😭
So much drama, as a mental health worker it just screams red flags and lack of communication. One persons trauma should not be an excuse for the partner to give up their freedoms.
@@xviolettevendetta Yeah, same. I'd rather be single than be in a relationship like any of these.
I'm gonna have to disagree, I'm gonna absolutely judge that dude on the bathroom lock thing. It's super weird and his reaction to her getting one is even weirder.
Agree. It might be a trauma thing. But if it is, go to therapy and let your wife poop in peace, goddamn
i don't think its that weird that they'd agreed in the beginning to not use locks, it seemed like it was an agreed thing and i don't think thats the strangest thing. it might be trauma related, as dylan said. but it's definitely weird that he didn't let her install one once a problem came up. _that's_ for sure a red flag
@Espion-
Well the first major red flag was not slapping the shit out his brother and banning him from the house after the 2nd occurrence. Given that it doesn't surprise me he didn't let her install one. Which is why I judge him.
@@FauxFoxPaw yes, totally agree
@@Espion-❤
The entire dinner section pissed me off. I feel bad for the mother. Glad she left that toxic place to stay with her parents. And yes, every good mom, especially a new mom, SHOULD be treated like a princess.
😂 Dylan. The women loosing her shit about food is 100% reasonable. She is starving birthed a child and breast feeding which takes energy. Also her mother in law is purposefully pushing her buttons. What makes it worse is the husband is a mamas boy. They are all stupid and lack communication skills. But the mother in law shouldn’t be staying there.
Exactly. And also I think anyone, let alone a new mum would be betrayed and upset if they were busy and came downstairs and found out the people they love and care for who should love and care for them also, basically disregarded them, cooked for only themselves, ate and then turned around and essentially told them that it's not their problem is they are hungry.
I think it’s more the tone of the post that was off putting to him and even me. I do think OP is being treated horribly but she wrote the post in a way that made it difficult to not side with her. Every ‘questionable’ action by her was easily explained away, but all the husband and MIL’s actions reflected poorly on them
And her not bringing this up before and then suddenly proceed to leave home with a new born child just doesn’t sit right with me either
@@fish5465 she's brought it before. She literally states in the beginning that she was afraid that he would blow up on her. Clearly this is an issue (regarding the MIL treating her weirdly and the husband siding with his mother and them arguing with her) that has been going on for a while.
also, postpartum depression is super common.
The MIL was shady for not preparing enough food for everyone ESPECIALLY for the person she claims to be there for. So if she doesn’t come to dinner during dinner time she shouldn’t eat? That’s weird.
right!!!! like it’d be one thing if she just straight up didn’t make dinner for anybody but to only make enough for two??? like it would be hardly any extra effort to just make extra. The wife didn’t have to immediately move out tho, especially if she hadn’t expressed her frustration before this.
exactly. there's three people in the house (one who's breastfeeding and MIL claim to be caring for!) why cook for two. why leave her out purposely. its not about the meal itself its the fact that MIL does not care at all despite saying that she does.
I also think the husband is shady for not making sure his wife gets something to eat???? So strange to me
And surely “coming to dinner time” is once it’s ready to eat. So what happened to her portion? Did they eat it? Throw it away? Did she just not make her food and use that as an excuse?? So weird
She also just had a baby so, hormones are raging, PPD, etc, and has basically a hostile stranger barging into her house and taking over and causing arguments between herself and her husband.
Somehow I get the sense that the husband who didn't save any dinner for his wife invited his mother over to feed HIM. He doesn't actually care whether his wife gets food. "But my mother is here to help with the baby" is just a pretence to keep his mother around to serve him. His wife-bot is not serving him at 100%, since she has other priorities at the moment - he can't possibly lift a finger to do anything at home, oh nooo.
The way the mother-in-law denied her dinner came off like she was scolding a child "if you don't come to the dinner table at dinner time, you don't get dinner." Mother-in-law, you had one job.
This theory sounds SPOT ON
@@rachelhamilton8669 almost. Forgot that he also works too? Being a cop could be way more mentally taxing than raising a child. He’s not doing nothing.
@@HudsonKy For the kids he is doing nothing. Having a job is needed to be a successful adult and is defacto in life before children. If they decided to have children, they both need to take on the tasks of raising those kids. That's a parent's job, and a hard one, which is why a lot of people like Parent-in-laws to help. They're there to help, not raise your kids. Husband should have been up there helping his wife instead of stuffing his face 💁🏼♀️
And let's be real, depending on where he lives there's a good chance his job as a cop is to just patrol and write tickets- stop acting like every cop is chasing down criminals and mafia bosses 🙄
YUP! spot on
ah yes, that would make sense. So in his mind, the MIL is helping his wife because the MIL is relieving his wife of "her duties". Gross if that is the case.
I would get a lock on my bathroom door even if I lived alone.
Literally me, I live alone and I always lock the bathroom door when I use it (mostly out of habit since I used to live with other people but still)
I lock my bathroom door and my bedroom door even when I'm alone, and check it twice if I'm not. Those are places of private vulnerable moments. Better safe then sorry.
Yeah! And what about their house guests? I would hate visiting their home and needing to use their bathroom knowing I can't lock the door. When I am home alone, I typically don't lock the bathroom door, but I wouldn't think I need to remove the locks just because I don't use them. I'm assuming there was some trauma which probably needs to be dealt with.
exactly
@@hiraidiamond5933 yyy
AITA for teasing my viewers about my book for years and never writing it?
👀🍿
LMAOO
Yes YATA... Dylan 😑😑
Loll fr fr
🤣🤣🤣
On the dinner one... I think it's less about the food and the pantry not being locked but more about the audacity. The mom came to "help" but isn't helping, so with a newborn baby she's actually imposing. The only way she actually helps is by cooking, which is pretty significant-but she didn't even come through on that. She didn't save food for the woman who was busy feeding the newborn, even when there must have been enough because they'd been expecting the wife to join. The mom intentionally didn't save it, either out of spite or as some sort of lesson (which seems condescending at best and vindictive at worst). The wife is doing all the work for the baby, which is exhausting, but she's told not to be selfish because her husband works hard all day. And it's not like your hormones immediately reset once the baby's out, it takes around 6 months for that to happened and she's breastfeeding and probably exhausted, and breastfeeding moms can have the same food cravings as during pregnancy, so she likely is feeling like she's starving and needs to eat more than she would otherwise. Even though the post is very clearly colouring the situation in her favor, not accounting for exhaustion and hormones and even disregarding the baby aspect altogether, I'd be pretty miffed if I was late to dinner and my MIL who was staying with us and making messes didn't save me any food. A mistake is understandable, on purpose is disrespectful.
While I agree about the whole if she never mentioned it before the husband is probably mega confused thing, if what OP wrote was correct, his reaction was petty and childish, even with how obviously it's slanted. I think objectively, he as the mom are in the wrong. Maybe the wife is being childish about it herself, but I don't think that makes her equally as sucky as they are. We don't know the whole story, but as someone who had to live with an entitled, snobby, inconsiderate and subtly emotionally abusive grandparent I'm more inclined to side with the wife, presuming the post is mostly accurate, because man it can make you crazy
It’s also the fact that they didn’t offer to get her anything when it was clear she missed dinner bc she was taking care of the baby. It’s a bit childish to leave and take the baby over them not saving her food but his childish response to her being upset when it’s them who aren’t considerate of her taking care of their baby, it’s reasonable to need space from them being nonsupporting and go to her moms and as a new mother she would probably want her child with her. So in my opinion even if she’s downplaying her actions/attitude going to get some space with your child is not an ahole move
It also would have taken a total of 30 seconds to peek in the room and say “hey dinners ready, are you hungry?”
It sounds like MIL is there to take care of her son more than her DIL and infant grandchild 🙄
THIS & THE REPLIES
Yes! The husband and MIL are clearly more in the wrong here. The wife blew up because she's exhausted and alone in that house.
yeah she is behaving a bit childish but i feel like it has to do with the fact that she's probably exhausted all the time from everything she's doing and by what she said her MIL makes messes and cooks but doesn't really do anything else. Yes the cooking is a big help but even without the cooking part taking care of everything else for a new born is absolutely tiring. Especially because she's breastfeeding. (on that i get her being hungry. doing so much mental and physical work is supposed to make u significantly hungrier than us normal ppl.) She probably was exhausted and hormonal and lashed out. The MIL could have simply came to her room and asked if she was hungry or wanted to eat since she's supposedly there to help the wife out yet she seems to not even care that much.
The wife also mentioning she kept quiet because she was scared that the husband would scold her, i feel like there's more to unpack there like a lot more. From her POV and all that she has written the husband seems shitty honestly. Not helpful or supportive and probably thinks he has it the hardest because of his job and he wouldn't even try to understand why the wife was suddenly lashing out.
Basically from all that I've read I'm more inclined to side with the wife aswell.
As a breastfeeding mother, it is absolutely INSANE to me how hungry I get. Theres some days that if I’m not eating every 2 hours, I feel like I havent eaten at all. It doesnt help that it takes 30% of the body’s energy to make milk and express it. All my friends and family are constantly making sure I get enough food or water because they know thats how my baby eats.
I have no idea what its like to be a breastfeeding mom (as a dude) but if there's one thing I've learnt about dating is that no matter the situation, always ensure your lady is fed. Even if she just ate, save her a plate.
@@esamullajee3273 it's not just about keeping your lady fed I think it goes for everyone regardless, if the wife is cooking and her husband isn't home she should save food for him.
I think it's very shady and passive aggressive what the MIL did, how she cooked for her son and didn't leave food for the mother of her grandchildren
Yep. I would eat at least 2x the food my husband had at meals, when he's 6" and 80lbs bigger. I would also inhale 2-3 granola bars during breastfeeding most of the time!
EXACTLY! Dylan was fucking stupid about this one
The mom was being petty. The literal purpose of you being there is to help her but all you do is mess up their home. Then on top of that you make dinner for you and your son and try and say you thought she wasn't gonna eat. It was as simple as knocking on the door and asking
Agreed. That’s the mother of your grand baby/ child, it’s reasonable to expect to be fed postpartum
Yeeess
if you cook you take in count how many people are there and consider seconds so i think she didnt make enough food in the first place, MIL seems like a person that would go to the hospital to bring the new father food forgeting about the mother completely etc
yea, like... she is a new mom, she NEEDS to eat to feed the baby, there is no way she wouldn't be hungry.
@sewer~rat yes! I was literally ALWAYS hungry when I was breastfeeding
As a mom who breast fed, I just want to throw out that when you’re breastfeeding you get SO HUNGRY. And also milk production is directly correlated with your caloric intake. So it is a really big deal, especially in the postpartum mindset of questioning if you’re being a good mom, etc.
I had a rule that nobody was allowed to come over the first two months with our baby, including both our parents, because I am a hostess by nature when people are in my home, and I needed to be able to dedicate all my time and attention to baby and this new aspect to the relationship with my husband. In laws usually, imo, aren’t helpful when a new baby comes home as much as they are just in the way.
To clarify; their relationship sounds incredibly petty and I’m not taking the mom’s side. Just trying to give perspective on why her hunger was such a big deal and maybe share insight on how she may feel about MIL being there
I have never been as ravenously hungry as I was when I was breastfeeding. It was crazy.
@@irishalchemy I never knew this was a thing woah
THANK YOU!!! That's what I said, and I may have called Dylan an a-hole in the process. All in fun, of course. But, yes, that relationship overall, either on one side or both, seems like a very petty one.
@@thesingerintheshower agreed 🤣 I do love when his editor skip back to that part when he defended the moms hunger in one part 🤣🤣🤣
what ive learned from this is to never get a husband, because they will side with the person who's pissing you off
literally men suck lmao
Fr, Ima get a wife instead.
In japan we have a word for that, ene-husband which is short for enemy husband lol
also we have a word for when you're being an ahole to yourself, ene-me (which is a pun on enemy)
never get a husband *who will side with the person pissing you off. plenty of men exist that will be on your side, just stop picking the wrong men
I was thinking the same thing 💀
I think the third story is even weirder because how hard is it to just walk up to the room and ask the new mom if she is hungry?! 🤨 can’t imagine they have a huge house on a policeman’s salary.
It surprises me to see people not understand that the "princess treatment" is basically her saying that's what she needs now post-partum. She does need to be treated like one until she gets back to being her own person. It doesn't automatically mean she is pampered 24/7 but her thoughts and opinions to actually matter and weigh enough to be taken into consideration. My mom used to eat every two hours otherwise she would have felt faint.
Or shoot her a text like anything
I guess thats why mommy dearest is at the house, probly payed for the huge house
@@starfish2129 Nah, she can take care of herself.
wdym policeman? he works at The Department
I’m a bisexual woman that has dated women and I think that asking to “be treated like a princess” five weeks after giving birth vs all the time is different. I feel like you’re really glossing over the fact that she seems to be taking 100% care of the baby. It’s not about the single act of not saving someone dinner, it’s the principle of failing to be considerate for the new mother that is actively tending to her new baby, the baby the mom is supposed to be helping with.
fr he went over the word “department” like 5x but only stated the part where she said she was doing everything for the baby on her own that 1 time lol so much for being unbias 😂 he still sees it from a mans POV but wont realize until he reads these comments disagreeing w him on this one
@it'sjustme I definitely agree that she didn't handle it correctly, though I think the idea of her needing to grow up more is probably not right, considering that after giving birth your hormones are still everywhere and it can be super traumatic to some people. It's likely she would have acted normally to this if she hadn't just given birth. The obvious lack of attention and likely lack of social interaction from constantly caring for a new born does weird stuff to people.
@@georgias7299 exactly
@it'sjustme "women view it more from emotional stand point which sometime clouds their judgment" what do you mean by this ?
She even said that the mother moved in specifically to help her out with the baby and household chores but she only makes dinner.. I would be upset too
The breastfeeding story is absolutely wild to me. I'm neither a mother nor a married woman. I live with my family. In our culture, you always make food for everyone. Growing up many a times my brother would fall asleep during dinner time then wake up later in the night hungry. So my mom would always leave extra food for him. Even if me or my brother said we don't wanna eat, there will still be food made for us just in case we feel hungry later. Makes me very grateful for my parents and how they never held food as a point of discipline or contention ever.
The MIL said there's no food because the mother didn't show up at the table??? Does that mean the MIL and husband ate extra?? Cause she would have made the mother's portion of food while cooking right. Unless... she didn't even cook for her.
This. And on top of it all, the MIL is setting up rules (no-show at the table = no dinner) in the new mum's home.
I would have left as well if I were disrespected by my MIL and my husband in MY OWN HOME.
@@pollystrange8298 yeah I cannot imagine being stressed and tired all day and then finally getting the time to eat, because it's not like she just didn't wanna come to the table. Should COULD NOT come because she was literally feeding the baby. And then just finding out no one cared enough to save you a plate. It's not even about the food at that point. It's simply so hurtful.
Or she made it and tossed it. Either way it’s rude all around
Also, what if the husband came home from work late. I bet the MIL would still have a plate of food waiting for him and wouldn’t say all that
My mom is the one who cooks and she always ask us before she even cook, what do we want and she always leave food for us. We are not even pregnant. That mom is dumb.
I just wanna know how people even get this far into a relationship with people like this
NO DEADASS LIKE HOW DID THEY NOT SEE SIGNS BEFORE
Low-self esteem
I feel like the people who need a soundboard for relationships that sound clearly toxic to viewers are usually victims of a narcissistic partner/family dynamic. Those relationships make you feel crazy for holding shitty actions accountable. You doubt everything.
Although I find most of these marriage issues ridiculously immature, I will say that if you're with someone for life, sooner or later you will both fight over something stupid. So I agree with you, but I also can't judge?
a lot of ppl dont even try get to know the person they're dating, they just get with them based on attraction and probably some superficial stuff. and then when they decide to get married, engaged, or idk decide to move-in together, they start exposing the sides they obviously can't hide anymore because that person is around them a lot more often than before. a lot of the times, weirdly - people in relationships wouldn't even hang out with that person if they weren't in a romantic relationship with them. it's strange, why would u not want to be friends with ur partner and get to know them properly? but a lot people just don't. there's also other things that go into it like...how ur parents relationships can affect how u navigate yours and undealt with trauma n shit.. humans make life harder than it needs to be lmao
The lock story is just creepy - why would the husband be so upset about this woman’s privacy it’s really messed up I would have moved out
Not just upset about her wanting a lock, but upset at her for being upset with his brother for his continued and honestly blatantly inappropriate actions, but whether or not the brother was being a creep is irrelevant, the fact is it's happening and she wants it to stop and for the husband to essentially take the brothers side is super weird, it's not like the brother is doing something out of his own control, which makes it deliberate, the fact that the husband ignores that is a massive red flag.
This editor is low key outwitting Dylan on his own damn jokes and it's hilarious 😂
Fr i had to pause at some point
Same. I am so impressed ✨
Yeah he needs a raise 😂
Yes agree
The “pov: you just proposed to Dylan” one i died
about the pregnant girl story: i would be fucking pissed if there was no dinner saved for me even if I wasn't pregnant or just gave birth. That is just so inconsiderate that the husband and MIL would eat all the food while the mother is feeding her own child. Yes, there may be other food in the house but the girl is probably exhausted so she wouldn't want to make anything or eat little snacks. if my husband didn't immediately feel bad and order me food or something then I would have been a whole bitch to him. I wouldn't go as far as to leave for an extended period but I might consider leaving to go to a friends house or my moms in that situation if I was mad enough. Just don't fuck with hangry women, especially when they are pregnant or breast feeding.
I also think it's about nutrition. Like yeah theoretically she could have a sandwich but the nutritional benefits, especially when you consider she's breastfeeding, are not the same. She should be eating a proper dinner and the MIL is just causing more harm than good. I'm not in her situation but there have been times when I don't eat dinner during supper time because I'm still busy with studying/assignments and just want to get that out of the way while Im still "in the zone" before I can relax and try to turn my brain off. If I were deprived of dinner because of that I'd be pissed and I'd make sure everyone knows it. She's not the asshole, she deserves better.
Her husband is such a man-child and a mommy's boy. If I had to speculate he likes having his mom around to take care of him since his wife is preoccupied by the baby.
A plate and leftovers should be saved regardless, but the comment about healthier food and being pampered, I'd wager the MIL has made food for her that she has refused to eat, maybe even exactly what was cooked that evening. Could be feuding relatives or just a simple misunderstanding or a pattern of behavior by the mom or MIL. Doesn't make the husband or MIL not aholes, but there is A LOT not being said.
For the second one: I promise you guys have called me paranoid for less, she probably told him exactly that “your brother barges in the bathroom and it feels like he’s only doing it when I’m the one using it” and he just didn’t believe her
How messed up is her husband for that. He invalidated her experience and feelings and even called her a liar, what a tool. She deserves better.
Yeah I feel like most women could immediately clock that the BIL is being predatory there
even if she was like "i feel like hes being a perv" or something along the lines about that shes not being paranoid
new mum story: her reaction was so valid, her mil was there to help with the baby, saving a plate would be the absolute least she could have done to help. it doesn’t even matter if op wasn’t hungry and was planning on eating later, there’s no reason for them to not save her a plate, even if she wasn’t breastfeeding that’s just a rude thing to do without even asking. a woman who just gave birth a few weeks ago definitely deserves to be treated like a princess, it’s a very stressful time and she’s been doing all the work while her mil makes a mess of the house, it must be frustrating as hell to have to cook your own meal just bc your husband and mil couldn’t be bothered to save you a plate. also i don’t think it’s right to compare her not wanting to be around her mil after she disrespected her in her own home while she was taking care of a newborn baby vs her husband not wanting to visit his newborn son just bc he doesn’t like his mil.
Exactly!!!
@@nabiiui1514 ahh!!!
PSA: ASKING FOR RESPECT AND KINDNESS IS NOT ASKING TO BE TREATED LIKE A PRINCESS. Everyone needs to raise the bar on how we expect to be treated and we need to reevaluate how we treat others.
LITERALLY!!! Her being treated like a "princess" in this context was the bare minimum lmaooo. She's a new mom and she just wanted some help with child care and at least a plate of food. Not only were her standards low already, but they were not even met at all. I've never been pregnant nor do I ever plan to be, but I could sympathize with a struggling new mother man ... that was a sad story to hear
No one said it was... Also, maybe not in this case, but a lot of the time when girls say they want to be “treated like a princess,” they come across as high-maintenance
She was in the house feeding the baby, it’s not that she’s not at home, there’s a breast feeding woman in the house, just because she didn’t show up at the dining room, nobody checked if she wants to eat, no one can convince me that this isn’t personal, people don’t just forget about family members and throw their possible needs out of the window like that.
yup!! I think she only said "being treated like a princess" because that is how she felt in her mother's home compared to her own
@@劉嘉琪-d6k Yeah, the fact that it wasn’t normal for the husband or his mom to bring her a plate shows how strained (and probably petty) things are. Like even if she were an ogre, it’s the mother of your child / grandchild.
nothing is better than seeing dylan post a 28 minute video as youre eating
I'm having lunch rn and I see a dylan post 😆😁🤗🤗🤗
Who are you and where is the camera you placed in my house? 🤨
I'm literally working from home and just started my lunch break, perfect timing 🤤
real
Just finished my pasta and realised that I need to eat more slowly because I'm only 10 minutes into the video 😅
For the MIL situation, sound like the "not saving a plate" was the "last straw" for the wife. The MIL was allegedly there to help while the husband is at work, but instead she just has friends over and doesn't help except by cooking. So the wife probably settled for the "well, at least she makes dinner" as the only redeeming part of MIL and now suddenly MIL is gatekeeping meal time by saying "you have to be present to get a plate otherwise you're SOL" so the wife is like now there's NOTHING redeemable about MIL. It also sounds like neither MIL is great to their children in law and both wife and husband hate their MILs, so it just seems petty and toxic all around. Everyone just needs to get their heads out of their own asses and help the new mother and her baby (and if you have to kiss her ass a little while she recovers from giving birth, then so so).
When I had my first child I got really fed up with people coming into my home and telling me how I should be doing things and that I looked a mess, so when I had my second child I made a simple rule. No-one visits the house four the first 4/5 weeks after I give birth. We took the baby to visit relatives and at those times I dressed appropriately, washed my hair and looked okay if not great. But at home I could relax and know that if I wasn't up to putting on a perfect show for anyone else, I didn't have to. My partner supported me every step of the way, he even cooked for me and made sure to do the shopping as well as working all day. That's really all the husband needed to do, support and love his wife until she was emotionally ready to face the rest of the world
@@katieb63 that's a really good idea! Gosh I'm so sorry you had people coming over and acting like that when they should know you just had a baby:p but I'm glad you had a plan and support with your second child!!
The dinner story wasn't about the food, the dinner was the last break point for her
exactly
Yeah, it sounds like the dinner thing wasn’t the only thing that compelled her to leave.
Yea ooga kinda dropped the ball on that one lol. No offense but as I was listening I realized how young he must be 😂
@@basicimagemarketing6499 he literally said that she blew up because of unspoken details. Wym?
@@nt_partlycloudy21❤
That mother was probably fed up from having little to no help and just having given birth. I don't think Dylan understands the absolute exhaustion OP was going through and the AMOUNT OF CALORIES she needs to breastfeed and be satiated herself! It's very likely that MIL was being a classic toxic MIL that hates her DIL because she "stole her son away from her" or something and did this on purpose. **Likely** I said.
You perfectly phrased exactly what I was thinking
absolutely
Totally agree with you. Here its not about food but more control and respect which MIL lacks in regards to her DIL. Although you dont really need a lot more calories when breastfeeding.
I agree! It’s about the fact that they were so inconsiderate of her
Yes and then the husband is just as bad ! He could have offered to run out and pick her up something since they sat there and ate up all the food.
about the husband pretending to fall, the juice comment is just further evidence that his ass was fine and could get up and get himself food from the fridge. you gotta think like a pissed off woman it all makes sense
I think the mom latched onto the "they didn't save me a plate" part because it was the last drop for her. But this was probably weeks of feeling underappreciated. I say this because I do this a lot. Sometimes we focus on something that seems petty or small, but that's not the real underlining issue, it's just the trigger that made us explode.
I do think she may have overreacted, but the husband sucks. If my husband saw me leaving the house with our newborn and still felt like his pride was more important than our family (making a lot of assumptions here so I might be reading the situation wrong) I would definitely feel justified in my behavior, overreaction or not.
I imagine it must've been frustrating to not feel in control in your own house, after going through something as tiring as child birth.
I think it is absolutely reasonable for her to want to leave the house to get away from them, but as the main caregiver AND FEEDER of the newborn, it's necessary the baby comes with. She's not the crazy lady that ran away with the baby to teach the husband a lesson, she left and brought the baby that relies on her for sustenance with.
@@gwendolynrobinson3900 I agree with you. I just am of the habit of always trying to work my problems out. She mentioned earlier that she kept shut about how she was feeling, so I just thought one conversation (not an argument) before packing up and leaving would've been better. But as I said the husband's attitude sucks so I don't blame her for leaving.
I think EVERYONE can relate to being hangry so I can't imagine how hangry I would feel if a tiny human was eating all the energy out of my body then the people there to "help" didn't make sure I had food too. She wanted DINNER, not snacks, and dinner takes a lot of energy to make, which she had just spent up feeding her baby
@@daniella_otsuki I understand, but didn't she keep her mouth shut cuz hubby told her to? she snapped cuz she was hungry and already been putting up with crap for weeks. not the best way to go about things but I get it
Just a little context for the BF story: a BF woman requires between 500 and 700 extra calories a day, and that’s so she doesn’t literally waste away. It sounds like the husbands mom isn’t helping care for the baby and neither is he; and sometimes it can be hours before a baby is content enough to let you put them down. I have a great partner but if I didn’t I just wouldn’t have been able to take care of myself at all with a newborn.
yeah. hate to say this but what other context could he possibly needs.
To me it sounds like this family is in deep trouble.😢 Everyone hates everyone…
The newborn story hits close to home. I have a 4 month old son. When you’re breastfeeding you’re STARVING and newborns eat every 2 hours or so (usually. Every baby is different and some do eat more frequently). It’s exhausting being a new mom. Also her hormones are still out of whack from pregnancy so she’s going to be dramatic. I feel for her. I would’ve been furious and reacted similarly when I just had my son if I’d been in her shoes honestly. But that’s because I was treated with zero compassion my entire pregnancy and during birth by the father so…I’m also biased.
You aren't biased, your lived experience is real, and real for alot of other women as well!! I wouldn't even call the hormonal imbalance being dramatic that's just what men want us to believe!!!
@@oliviaharris6720 exactly, it's funny how they mock us for our hormones when these hormones grew a clump of cells into a full human being and then those same hormones produce milk to feed said human. That's badass and just incredible, I sometimes think they're just jealous so they try to devalue us to make themselves feel better.
That sounds very hard and traumatic! I hope you are in a better place now!
@@oliviaharris6720 for real, the weeks after birth are an extreme situation to be in and the men calling the reactions "dramatic" would not handle it different or "better" if they had to live through that.
I wanted to also add to the breastfeeding portion. For many women, it’s not simple to master. It can take a long time for a good latch. Not to mention how babies eat at their own leisure and don’t typically scarf their food down until satiation. They take their time and once you’ve got the successful latch you do not want to ruin it by moving around. It can take 30+ minutes easily. Newborns also often like to nurse themselves to sleep. It’s time consuming and exhausting. It requires the body to intake more calories and increases appetite as well. Just wanted to further elaborate because I don’t think most people born with penises understand the many struggles and why.
All that said, the MIL should know this as she’s had kids before (obviously) so it’s hard not to see her actions as blatantly disrespectful.
Love how everyone is schooling Dylan in the comments on the new mom story. I told my mom the story and she was outraged on this lady's behalf. I agree with the rest of the takes.
me too, i hope he actually reads these (and maybe address it in the next video)
I mean not everyone...I'm not entirely sure I believe her side of the story. Something just doesn't add up to me.
@@filmfangirls9163 in what sense? Man doesn't understand how pregnancy or new motherhood works especially with food and has no respect or empathy for wife's situation. Doesn't sound far fetched
@@filmfangirls9163 What's not adding up for you?
@@amemelia it depends on what perspective you come from really. I've been on the receiving end helping someone with cleaning and cooking but they told people I wasn't helping and they were doing all the work. And said I was mean to them. She could easily be making them out as bad people to gain sympathy. The fact she told her husband she wants to stay with her mom cuz she has healthy food makes me think she did have food saved for her, it just wasn't food she liked.
As a new mom who breastfeeds, the first 2 months after I had my baby, I was INSATIABLY hungry. I have never in my life felt so desperate for food, but I had also been warned that I would be hungrier than usual so I was prepared. From that experience though, I can definitely understand why the lack of consideration for her needing to eat (when she is literally creating food for her baby with her own body) was such a huge deal. I would’ve been furious too
As a mother of four, I will say that the isolation I experienced during breastfeeding was very difficult emotionally. At five weeks old, a breastfeeding baby needs to be fed every two hours, for about thirty minutes each session, but realistically you are often looking at being isolated for an hour during that time because most of the time the baby will need to nap after and it takes awhile to get them into a deep sleep. That’s 50% of your total hours during the day (and night!) spent activity caring for a baby, not able to move around and, for example, get food for yourself. It is exhausting emotionally and physically.
So to be isolated, sitting alone in your room because you are literally feeding your hungry baby only to finally finish and come out to discover that the people who are supposed to love you most failed to save you dinner? Devastating.
If someone is staying at your house during this vulnerable, stressful time, they had better be treating you “like a Princess” or they have zero right to be there. Zero. The only reason to be living with a five week postpartum mother is to be a help to her. One reason? Breastfeeding makes you vulnerable because it involves lifting your shirt and exposing your breasts to anyone who might be in the room. (Especially with your first baby, when you haven’t yet had the chance to refine your technique.) So if someone is in your home and you’re not comfortable with them seeing your boobs, you don’t have the luxury of being anywhere in your own home except your bedroom with the door shut. It makes it even harder to take care of yourself, feed yourself, etc.
Even if MIL was being an angelic helper to the PP mother, having anyone stay in your home adds stress. There needs to be a net positive to MIL being there: she needs to be relieving more stress than she is causing. Based on the post, this was not happening.
In my culture, its customary for new moms to be taken care of by everyone else as she rests (usually her own mom who she stays with or who stays with her temporarily). The family would basically feed the mom (and guests) almost constantly. Not only is this nurturing essential for the new mom to recoup from what is essentially physical trauma, she also needs to it feed her baby. I didnt realize how essential this is until a close relative of mine had her baby; she was always ravenous after nursing. On more than one occasion, she'd nurse in bed at night, and wake up a few hours later feeling like she would pass out unless she ate something immediately. If the mom who posted the story lived in my country, not only would her MIL make her extra food, MIL would have probably fed the new mom herself since she was too busy nursing. Maybe the new mom overreacted but I totally get it. I can't fathom that kind of passive aggression directed at a new mom. (Also weird that she's nursing in a different room and the dad doesn't seem to want to use all his time outside of work to be with his newborn kid.)
In my culture the women basically take turns. After everyone greets the baby someone will stay for about a week to help mom then someone else will take a week off work and so on. Mom and baby aren't alone for MONTHS. I'm in the US now and it's a little scary to think it'll just be me and the husband then just me alone because paternity leave isn't really what it should be.
@@katrinascarlet5637 yup the US is definitely very individualistic.
Exactly! Heck! Animals do it too! A lot of community animals take care of pregnant or recently given birth family members.
I genuinely think that the new mother did NOT overreact. It probably felt so horrible, verging on tears, to be treated like that in her own home
Individualism in America is crazyyyy.
i don’t think there’s much slanting at all in the pregnancy story. wether she hadn’t eaten for 2 or 6 hours, she’s still a breastfeeding woman. Why wouldn’t you save food for a family member?
Thank you! I don't understand why Dylan thinks the time she last ate mattered in this story.
It's because he's ever experienced it or witnessed it from a partner so he has no idea and should really have kept that opinion to himself.
He did sympathize with her situation and that they should've left food for her for that very reason, but it's true that she shouldn't have taken the child away from the other parent over this and that she could've eaten something else. It was a drastic measure. And we can't just assume what the OP left out of her story, so he's pointing things out by what's available from one of the sides. It's still a fact that the husband's mother is a complete Karen and the husband is a mama's boy. There's no denying that.
There’s slanting in every story and clear in that one that OP wasn’t acknowledging her entitlement (although she may not be aware of it) and was also painting herself as the victim. It’s illogical to make a conclusion without all sides of the story.
@@ShannanMV you're really commenting all over the place about that story
Plot twist: The "best friend" in the baby name one is actually Rumpelstiltskin and the husband isn't allowed to disclose that he made a deal with him, that's why he hangs around all the time & the husband defends him.
I’m not gonna lie that thought did cross my mind. 😂😂
Dude this is so funny I love this! 😂
underrated comment LMAO
I was thinking the same 🤣
What? I’m blown away by your opinion of the dinner story! 😳 I think the point of the story is she just had a baby, she has no privacy, house full of ppl who don’t clean, trying to bond & take care of a baby & wasn’t even thought of for a meal. Breastfeeding actually increases your appetite & your intake should be more due to feedings.
It’s not that dinner is the only food left, my God, they made dinner & excluded her completely lol. Why the heck should she have to cook or make something else when her MIL came to stay to “help”. I don’t think she over reacted at all. I would have been so butthurt lmao. She doesn’t feel respected or like she’s being treated well. That’s why she was at her moms. It’s okay to pamper women especially after having a baby. They got a warm meal while she was feeding the baby & they couldn’t even think of her? Omg, I would fly off the handle. But my MIL thankfully would never impede on my life especially after giving birth. The mom is not the asshole, not even close. It’s her home, not the MIL’s. Her husband sounds like a douche bag too.
the BIL's obsession with OP is a weirdo, and the husband sucks. can't imagine being in a relationship like that
and idc the lock thing is weird
As someone who thinks it's gross someone brushes their teeth while the other is sitting on the toilet... this story bothered me so much. I don't lock my bathroom because it's just me and my bf, but if he really needs to come in while I'm showering he at least knocks and asks if he can come in first. We've been together 16 years, but privacy is still important. If his BIL walked in on me ever, I would 100% install a lock too, the agreement was with her husband, the BIL adds in a factor she didn't have to consider when they made that agreement. She's uncomfortable and her husband is TA for not considering that.
@@xDarkTrinityx You made a fantastic point that the BIL is an additional factor that she did not have to consider when the lock agreement was made!! That addition changes the entire situation and therefore absolutely nullifies the agreement.
I’d video tape it and send it to the husband. And I’m sorry but it seems there needs to be a conversation about why he doesn’t want locks. Even if there’s childhood trauma on the husbands side it doesn’t give him the right to dictate the right to security and privacy of another person. There’s a limit to the “relationships are a compromise” argument. Also you can buy door jams that are portable and he would never has to know.
He's a fucking creep.
With the MIL Dinner story, I understand why OP is upset about not having a meal in hours. Nursing a baby will make you hungry. Personal experience. It’s literally taking the nutrients from your body and giving it to the baby. So it’s important to AT LEAST have three meals a day. And as hormonal and sleep-deprived as a new mother is, it’s pretty understandable why she reacted the way she did. Her husband is meant to be her partner in this, and he won’t even save her a plate at dinner or scold his mom for not doing so? Nah, that’s trash.
fr they could of at least offered to make her something too if they really thought she wasnt hungry. she deserves to be treated like a queen for all shes doing to take care of that newborn
Plus the mom wasn't helping, was even making it worse with making a mess and inviting friends. Also, if the husband acts like this when she says there's an issue with his mother, no shock she kept quiet about it to a degree.
And even if she wasnt that hungry, it's just plain rude that the mother of him is supoosed to be there to help them (her own words) and based on whats the OP said, the help the mother in law provides is cooking for them (which Is a huge help), so if you cook dinner AND don't save a plate for one of the people you are supposed to be helping (by your own choice, nobody is putting you a gun in the head to help you daughter in law and your son) and say to her that is her fault cause she didn't showed up at the table, that's not only rude and inconsiderate, but also WEIRD AF, cause you aré also in HER house, you cant be a guest and disrespect the people who live there, also the effort to make food for two people isnt very diferent than food for three people, it seems like passive-aggresive behaviour
Absolutely. But taking your AND YOUR HUSBAND'S son away with no end in sight over dinner is a drastic overreaction. They both petty
This. I’ve done entire fasted weekends and not felt as hungry as after nursing.
i think the issue with the pregnant woman wasnt that she was hungry but the rejection she felt when mil didnt make food for her + double rejection that her husband didnt think to do it either + triple rejection when he didnt apologize after she was upset. but i agree that it sounds like a toxic family relationship in general and there's probably a lot of baggage not being communicated in that post
As someone who has breastfeed two children I can not in words describe how hungry you get.
If the dinner story happened to me I would have a breakdown.
1) the hunger
2) feeling left out, forgotten and not cared for
3) being accused of not showing up to dinner when I had to feed our baby
4) my husband not taking my side
Overall I would feel betrayed and hurt.
That MIL and husband are huge AHs 😡
I am so glad that so many women commented on this. Truly don’t think men understand how difficult life is for first time mothers.
The dinner story was ridiculous. The fact that the MIL was there trashing the place and not even helping out is so messed up and unforgivable. It's common sense that a new mother would need help in every way, especially since she's been taking care of her son all day (where's the husband's input in helping care for the child?) Im glad she went to her family's home and was treated well. The husband and MIL's actions is just nasty.
And ngl, Dylan's reaction to the story got me a lil heated lol
Oh no, same. He clearly has a gendered disconnect because it seems so simple from the outside prospective.
SAME!! Oh my gosh the poor woman is exhausted and the MIL sounds like a passive aggressive narcissistic. She used the excuse of her grandchild to move in and isn’t helping the new mother at all. And, holy cow, nursing is literally sucking calories from you. And PPD can compound all the things. It sucks she married such a selfish coward.
@@irock58 I would not call the dude a selfish coward. I would call him a misguided idiot. Mama's boy at worst. Inconsiderate for sure though. MIL is def the bad guy of the story.
It’s not just the fact that breast feeding is exhausting but she is literally the only one taking care of the baby that’s exhausting, her body is still recovering from birth and that’s also exhausting. She’s only getting a few hours of sleep… I would have screamed and punched someone out of frustration at that point. Most women don’t even have the energy to shower when they have a new born i can’t imagine the anger and disrespect she felt.
i agree so much with everythings u said except that we don't know if the husband helps or not or if they have an agreement that he has to go to work and that's why his mother stays at home with his wife and the baby "helping", and he certainly cannot help in the breastfeeding process
dylan is the most british time zone friendly american youtuber i swear
I keep thinking he works a unique job that doesn't require 9 to 5 workdays so he can upload whenever.
Yeah whenever I come home he has a video uploaded just then
RIGHT?! I was thinking the same thing and I’m so grateful
Pretty german friendly too. Love it.
@@feli3051 slayy Yoongi stan
the mother story was so valid for leaving, you SHOULD get treated like a princess when you just gave birth
Especially because coming over to help with chores and literally just saving leftovers (what even happened to those?) aren't "being treated by the princess".
not like that being saved food when everyone else also ate is treated like aprincess. more like normal behaviour
The way he assumes it’s only been like 2 hours since she ate and either way it doesn’t even matter how long it’s been if she’s hungry in her house
Also in those two hours she had a breastfeeding session and you can lose 500-600 calories. That’s a whole workout. You don’t eat a SNACK after that
Not to mention that with breastfeeding you get a LOT of bad things that happen to you if you don't eat when you're hungry since you're literally providing your nutrients to another human being and have nothing to replace it for yourself
If you guys disagree with Dylan so much stop watching his videos LMAOOOOOOOO
@@denofentropy Only watching people that you agree with can suck you into an echo chamber where you can't even develop and grow your ideals. Even then, we're only disagreeing on one of many AITA posts. It's not like we're going through his arguments point by point to explain why he's wrong on every post he covers. Chill, we're all human and can have differing opinions.
that’s what i’m saying it’s her house shouldn’t she be allowed some food in her OWN house esp with the effort it takes to raise a new born baby while BFing? kinda stupid how he’s just taking it soooo shallowly
The one with the baby the wife is definitely NTA. My sister just recently gave birth and she doesn’t usually have time to eat until the afternoon/evening so hours might genuinely be HOURS. On top of the fact that breastfeeding takes a lot of energy and you need to eat more frequently as it’s very draining. Having his mother inside the house and just making a mess is likely adding to her stress and the husband needs to stand up for his wife and do something as simple as saving her some food even if it’s for later and she can heat it up.
Wait, did the Mother-in-Law just not cook enough food for three people? There wasn't any food left on the stove, or in the oven. Where are the leftovers. That's intentional.
It feels malicious
Especially since she's supposedly over at the house to help OP
I think she made enough for 3 bc it sounds like she was expecting her but they ate her portion
Right? Like either MIL purposefully only cooked enough for two or on of them deadass went back and ate her portion. Either way thats SO rude when you know the person is literally like 20 metres away feeding their child.
Third story: What this poor woman calls being treated like a princess is being treated with kindness and decency, which is how people, especially your husband, should treat you. So yes, she has every right to want to be treated like a princess.
Impossible to make that assumption though. She also used the word pampered, not respect or kindness, in describing her mothers home.
Horrible family dynmaics either way. Husband is a man child, families feuding where neither like the others mothers, and she just bolts at the first stressful moment and claims she won't come back because she's getting pampered back in her mother nest. It's a shitty start to a new life either way.
@@stevenpuckitt212 that's so true. Honestly the one I feel the most for is the baby. I feel like that that poor thing is going to forced to choose sides for the rest of their life.
@@stevenpuckitt212 It's an absolutely reasonable assumption. As women, even in modern society, we are taught to be the ones who are responsible for cooking cleaning, taking care of the home and children. When someone is doing things for us like doing laundry or cooking, many of us do feel it is being pampered versus just an act of kindness. Yes, it's the bare minimum respect/kindness, especially in the situation of being a new mom, but I guarantee you a lot of women will describe it as being pampered because it is extremely out of the ordinary.
@@colliemom22 It's still just an assumption. I could assume the MIL cooked food for her frequently that the wife never ate because it wasn't "healthy" based on this post too. That'd also be just an assumption.
Either way the husbands a douche, the in laws don't get along, the couple doesn't communicate, and instead of hashing it out they run away from their problems. They're headed straight to misery or divorce. The husbands a cop so no doubt he's an ahole that does very little. None of that changes that a lot of these comments are adding a lot of personal bias built on assumptions to drive their opinion that the wife is in no way misleading readers or wrong in any way. And that isn't to say that's what's happening either. It's just one side to a story written very favorably to one party.
OP in the third story was 100% not the a-hole. She had just given birth 5 weeks prior to writing the post, her MIL wasn't being helpful with the baby, we don't know how much her husband was helping with the baby, and she was breast feeding which is why she wasn't at the table. All of that would make her insanely tired and hungry. Her MIL saying "well you weren't at the table so you don't get food" was extremely petty. She's also getting used to eating for own nutrition again after 9 months of eating to feed another life, so its going to be a big shift. Plus, who doesn't save someone a plate when they're busy? That's just common decency
and the mom is scoolding her like if she had saved a plate and she had to eat it before it got cold when there wasnt even a single piece of food there for her to eat. Thats why i think mil didnt even call her to eat, theres no food for her so its not logical for mil to do so, she knew she was alone with her son and knowing he would always side with her she didnt care at all. Also shes saying that like if when u have a baby there is a certain time to eat when in general theres not even a time to eat and they have to do it while doing other important things, so how is OP supposed to know it was time for dinner?
@@camilas.5294 Exactly what I was thinking. Like yeah there was probably other food in the house, but having to make yourself a bowl of cold cereal or cook something/microwave it, when there had been a hot meal ready that they didn't just save or you...that's just not a good feeling.
I mean who even cooks just enough for two people when there are three in the house? And if someone's pregnant and breastfeeding you should be making EXTRA, so there are a bunch of leftovers for them.
@@blackkittenb literally like wasnt the mil there to help especially the baby? like not feeding the mother who is breastfeeding isnt an intelligent take in that sense…
AITA on reddit is just a huge template for why you shouldn't get married.
hahaha trueeeee
During 3 months after my sister in law gave birth, my mom cooked for her everyday and we brought the food to the bedroom for her (with a specific diet good for her health), and we helpped taking care of the baby when she needed to rest.
The husband and the mom of the story in this video lack consideration towards the wife's mental state after giving birth, which is when she is very tired and sensitive. Post pregnancy depression is real and it takes just small things to trigger it. If the mom stays in their house to HELP, then she should atleast cook for the one who gave birth to and taking care of her grandchildren
a tiny human is eating the food she consumes. she needs more food to even be able to feed the baby. that story was wild. 😭
EXACTLY.
that mother in law was so inconsiderate.
Absolutely! But she never communicated ANY OF THAT...she never said she needed something, never asked her MIL to do anything different and then blew up out of no where and took the child away from its father...then sent pics to the dad days later as a form of manipulation....everyone is the asshole here
@@Sam82631 In the beginning of the post the OP said she learned to not discuss things about his mother with her husband because he will always take her side. Scolds her because his mother is there to help but it seems she adds more pressure to the household. Many parents say no guests because it's just too much with a new born, let alone with the guest inviting guests lol. If someone comes to live in a house and claim they are here to help by cooking, why should the OP ask the mother? Why is the mother staying for extended time where company should be limited if she's not helping like she originally said? Thats the entire reason the mother is staying in the house and it's mentioned in the first sentences that the mother invites other people over that add to the mess. Obviously alot more problems than OP asking about dinner.
She sent him pictures of his son because they couldn't compromise the hatred for either mother's. He sent her pictures of him and his mom cooking. Hers seems unintentionally manipulative because I do understand and believe her reasoning, wanna make it clear I still see it as manipulation. However the husband sent that as a tit for tat, what other reason could he have sent that for? I personally can't think of a reason but there could be a logical one , idk.
@@Sam82631 ....stop. OP already said: "If the mom stays in their house to HELP, then she should atleast cook for the one who gave birth to and taking care of her grandchildren."
The MIL did not keep good on her promise (or even have the most basic decency to ensure some food would be left for the mother). What more needs to be communicated? It's not some niche need of hers to be fed, is it? It's common sense and decency. Basic respect should not need to be communicated to grown ass adults.
So maybe instead of asking "why didn't she communicate" u should ask "why didn't MIL/husband have enough foresight and consideration to ensure that the new breast-feeding mother gets some food"???
Also, if you could pay attention to detail, you'd notice the submission states the wife no longer speaks up because her husband consistently dismisses her concerns and takes MIL's side. So her leaving was not out of nowhere, and she did right by her and her baby to leave a neglectful household for a caring one.
L take on saving a dinner plate section. It's an entire meal she's missing out on, not just a snack that she can find in a pantry. She was also the one BREASTFEEDING the baby so it makes sense that she would take the baby with her to her mom's house. And, if she's willing to have her MIL living in her home, then the husband should also be able to endure a visit just to see their baby. OP is NTA.
I agree with what others have said here about the breastfeeding woman. It wasn’t about the food, but the fact that, not only did they not think about her well-being, but openly mocked her needs. I’ve been in a relationship like that when I was pregnant and then breastfeeding (had to make dinner while in labor, while husband complained about it; when family came over to “help” with the baby which ended up me entertaining them, instead) and she is better off with her mother.
Oh my god that sounds awful. The patience you must have is astonishing.
god my sister went through the same thing. she's now engaged to a wonderful man who puts their kids and her before anyone else. if the baby needs something or my sister couldn't do it after the birth he'd find a way to reieve that for her and the baby. the spectrum of men is astounding.
Breastfeeding a new born is a full time job. It burns 100s of extra calories a day, and if you add up all the time she spends sitting there nursing it’s about 30 hours or more a week. She should be eating or drinking water every time she breastfeeds but her focus is on her baby and she’s exhausted. That her husband didn’t set something aside is awful. My husband literally offered to get me a drink or a snack pretty much any chance he had in those early weeks. Yes leaving might seem a little dramatic but I completely understand how hurt she was.
I would've left too! Hopefully he learned something
I know "hours" doesn't seem like a lot, but when you are breastfeeding, you get absolutely ravenous. I definitely ate like a bear while breast feeding. The MIL has been through pregnancy, she would have know what it was like, so it seems like not saving food was a deliberate act. I'm definitely getting the vibe that there was preexisting tension with the MIL.
Also, the mother of the baby is dealing with a whole bunch of hormones at the same time. Having someone in your space post partum, especially if you're feeling like that person isn't helping you out, but is actively making things worse... I can totally understand her leaving.
I’ve never been pregnant but I still remember when my mother was breastfeeding my youngest sibling and she ate a mf feast for every single meal lol. I can’t imagine denying someone who’s literally feeding a baby 24/7 a mf meal
During the first few months of breastfeeding, I ate so much! I would grab a plate of snacks to have whenever I had to pump because I was constantly hungry.
The MIL was in the wrong. She should have been more helpful and supportive. Husband is trash too.
CAN WE ALL JUST APPRECIATE THE EDITOR HAVING FIVE STAR HUMOR 👏👏👏
Yes! I love the way this video was edited👏🏻
YES
i do like the editing but it also was a little overwhelming. i think it would be good if the editor let some of the scenes of him talking just be, instead of zooming in or adding a text or image to every scene. otherwise it was super funny.
@@nabihat.1426 I agree, it was a bit too distracting. I ended up just closing my eyes and listening to the video instead!
I loved the editing style! 😊
the story with the breastfeeding mother screams abusive relationship. her saying that she can’t speak about her husbands mother without him yelling at her and the multiple instances of fear from her. nah i feel so bad for that woman
Right? “You never opened your mouth about the mom, you blew up out of nowhere about food” rubbed me the wrong way because it’s untrue, she has tried to bring it up but is scolded every time with excuses. Also, not about food, it’s about being inconsiderate. The food situation was the straw that broke the camel’s back
I think you are spot on, he sounds awful. His mother is there to help him exert control over his wife, as this wouldn’t be the first abuser backed by his mom. There is also the fact he is a cop and one can google it arround 40% are or have been abusive to their partners. I hope she stays with her family, and her whole family knocks sense into her
"don't try to get happier than happy" daaaaaaaaaaaaammmn didn't expect Dylan to spill such deep wisdom on us
somebody needs to make this into a meme
If he does make merch along with his book that we’ve been waiting on for both items for years, I hope this quote is on/in one of them 😂
@@AdamIshak01 He says in the video "there's this quote that I like" so if he put it on anything he'd have to license it, which probably isn't cost effective for the size of his potential sales. If he could even do that. But you can always go buy yourself a plain shirt and put it on for yourself!
It's a good quote for sure
the relationship between dylan and his editor is HILARIOUS! joe? is your name joe? JOE WE LOVE YOU
The Ooga Booga cult must build a shrine for Joe to thank him for his hilarious editing.
For the last one, I do think the husband is very respectful in terms of acknowledging her struggles. Doing the chores for her and asking politely (I assume) wether she could help a bit again is very nice of him. As someone who struggles with depression I wish people would have that amount of sympathy for my condition, since it is very hard to even get out of bed sometimes. If she gets this amount of sympathy I do think the husband deserves to get the coffee he likes, especially when it’s in their budget. I think she should be more grateful for the work the husband puts into chores so she can rest and work on her mental health and I honestly don’t understand why she had to make the comment about the coffee. Yes his outburst wasn’t particularly sensitive but it happens sometimes when a situation just causes rage you know? So I don’t think anyone is the asshole here, I think the wife should allow the husband to get the coffee he likes for the amount of work he has to do and the husband should try and walk away from a stressful situation since comments like this can cause a lot of damage in a mind of a depressed person. It’s a difficult situation and the solutions aren’t great but it is manageable.
tottaly agree. a I think she was wrong for asking him to stop buying the coffe, since he is the one with the money, he can decide. if he ever thinks they need to spend less, i'm sure he would stop. Is not like he is being irresponsable. when you are living and helping someone with depression is good to take care of your own mental health so you can keep being supportive
Honestly i really relate to the wife. Im the youngest in my family (15) My family and i are struggling a lot financially and it stresses me when i see them buy unecessary things like snacks or like soda 5x a week....ive been reprehended for trying to be frugal, my whole family is against me because i worry about bigger things we already struggle paying. And as a kid it stresses me severely and makes me anxious about my future (since education is one of those said 'bigger things') especially when my mom reminds us of how we are struggling. Ive been in a slump lately, god i cant even write this without holding back my tears. Ive felt denigrated and misunderstood by my family my whole life. I want to communicate with them properly since i struggle with words, but now i just give up. Im tired of trying so hard to bond with them and get along and play nice with my efforts being futile. theyre just not worth it anymore. Ive not talked to my family in weeks even if we remain in the same cramped place.
@@Nickelberkelium I'm sorry about your situation, but I think it's not comparable to the wife and husband's. The husband stated that buying that coffee is not going over their budget, besides, he seems to be under a very stressful situation with work and house chores, so buying a coffee that will help keep his spirits up through difficult times can be really helpful and is harmless. But in your case, if you're having a lot of financial struggle and your family spendings are way over what you can actually afford, I understand and hope you all can get through this.
@@Nickelberkelium I hope your situation improves❤️
@dimly I think that you're right about the wife's perspective, when you're depressed you tend to internalise a lot and I can understand that while her depression keeps her from being able to contribute it doesn't keep her from feeling bad about it or from worrying about their financial situation. If anything it might make her more aware/anxious about the monetary situation. I do think that the husband has been very understanding and it can be very difficult to communicate with people in that kind of mental state so I don't think that he was in the wrong to snap. All in all its just a sucky situation.
Lmaooo the way he does not grasp the stress and exhaustion of a young mother 😭😭 do hope he educates himself in case he's ever in that situation...
If they named the baby after the friend on their own terms that would be a sweet gesture, but him immediately naming someone else’s baby trying to enforce it then running away when it didn’t work is weird.
Edit: Also WHY DO YOU HAVE A NO LOCK AGREEMENT?! And the brother barges in?! They’re both red flags, I’d run far far away.
One of my friend told me her husband wanted to name their child the same name as his father and she didn't like it so she disagreed. He kept forcing her but the kid turned out to be a girl and she was so relieved because he didn't care what she named, if the child was a girl. I cant imagine what his thought process must have been. some people are just weird.
The woman with the MIL who didn't save a dinner plate: "I said nothing because if I opened my mouth, my husband would start scolding me..." Dude, she didn't say nothing because she'd get attacked for it. Yeah, it was fucked up the MIL only cooked dinner for two when there's a woman she's SUPPOSED to be helping that hasn't had food yet? This woman is also inviting people into the home of a newborn, which not everyone is happy with because of germs, and that's a terrible time to have people over. Why didn't her husband say something about his wife getting dinner? He's created a hostile environment for her where he values his mom more. Did he not notice all the people coming in and out, the mess in the house?
She had every right to go to a safe environment where she had people actually caring for her and helping. She might even have more control over her environment with her own mom, keeping the baby safe and healthy. She shouldn't be forced to endure a bunch of stress in a somewhat hostile environment. And nobody else is breastfeeding the baby...
Well, you're obviously paying way more attention then Dylan did.
Agreed, and it almost sounds like the mom came to help with the new born but instead is just taking care of her son, weird. Also breastfeeding burns a crazy amount of calories.
Exactly! Even if she’s leaving out a ton of stuff that she’s done to make herself look better, her husband isn’t supportive and him and his mom gang up on her. I see no problem leaving for a supporting environment for herself. She wouldn’t leave the baby when he works all day and she’s still breastfeeding is he going to do it for her or drop the kid off at 2 am when their hungry and crying for mom🤦♀️
Dylan, I’m sorry but breastfeeding takes a lot out of the body. Sometimes this is literal because the calcium will literally be taken from the bones if there isn’t enough in the diet. There’s videos of women showing how much they have to eat in a day to keep up a healthy milk supply. Also, the mother in the story would have to take her son because needs her to eat as pumping or formula are not always an option.
The breastfeeding story makes my blood boil. When I was breastfeeding my child, I was exhausted and felt like it'd been days since I ate something. It takes energy to breastfeed a child and you need that energy even more afterwards. I'm sure the MIL knew what she was doing, even if she didn't breastfeed her kids when they were young, she would still be exhausted after a long day of doing everything in the house all by herself plus taking care of a baby on top of it.
The bathroom thing is beyond creepy. I would straight up ask that person to leave. I was at a coffee shop with two bathrooms, both non-gendered, one across from the other. I went to use one with both being clearly open due to the doors being open. A guy seated across the shop from them also got up presumably to use the other one. I shut the door and locked it. That guy YANKED my door handle and pushed to get in like I had just stolen his wallet or something. There was no way he did not see me walking into that one due to where he was sitting initially and him walking close behind. My gut told me that guy banks on people, probs women, not locking the door and "accidentally" walking in. If he would have successfully got in even though the door was locked, I would have reported him to the shop.
This one was so bad, especially since he walked in when she was showering? You can easily hear when people are showering from outside the room, he was 100% doing that on purpose and that is creepy as fuck, especially when that person is your brothers wife
Holy crap! I'm glad you're alright!
@@laurahiggins3478 Thank you! To me, it was just one of those "that's a weird and horrible thing to do" instances that happen in big cities.
@@idontknow898 completely agreed. It's either he has literally no social understanding/respect or its a weird power thing he gets off on. The husband not allowing her to install a lock is just plain absurd which also gives me creepy vibes.
Don't get me wrong but this is just one of the reasons I don't use Non-gendered bathrooms.
women being called crazy and paranoid by their male partners just because they haven't experienced the same uncomfortable thing their female partners have is unfortuately not a wild unrealistic situation to happen 4:00
sadly true yes
I'm a housewife trying to get my art business going (no current income). If my husband works so hard and picks up so much overtime (the only income) he can spoil himself with whatever coffee brand he wants AND I'll make it for him gladly! He deserves it. What I see in most of these couples is that they need to love each other more and communicate better.
I don't think there is a lot if love tho
I'm a housewife too, whenever my husband asks if he can get something, I never say "no" he can get whatever tf he wants! I only ask since I keep track of the finances that he thinks the decision through for a few days if it's a big one, like getting a new gaming console. If he just wants a treat from the store I'd ask if he was okay if he asked me 🤦🏼♀️
Bro Fr. He’s the one paying for the groceries I think he has more of a day what’s on the list because se without him there would be no groceries as she’s not even trying to have an income for herself.
The dinner story had me heated my dads mom came to live with us to “help my mom” when my brother was born and basically just lived rent free and didn’t do anything to actually help (except the one time she tried to quiet him by sticking a nicotine stained finger in my days old brothers mouth). This woman was receiving no help AND the MIL was making her life even harder and then didn’t even leave leftovers???
so she has to live with his mom and be nice to her, but he doesn't even want to look at her mom for a few minutes so he could see his child
Tbf that was kinda the wife's fault for not communicating with her husband how she felt about his mother living with them. They're both hypocrites imo.
@@ShannanMV you are completely wrong, i just don’t know why u needed to reply to me. And unless ur living with them i have no idea how u know if they talked about something or not. Stop defending bad people
@@ShannanMV yeah it sounds like no one in that situation was in the right. They all seem like petty people. Kinda sounds like they didn't even know she was home 😅
Didn’t know she was home? When she was taking care of THEIR baby? Maybe the dad should, idk be a dad and go check how she’s doing?? How the fuck would you not know your wife and newborn baby were even home. Why are you people even commenting I feel like my brain is turning to mush
@@bubble_gum_witch It’s a public comment section? Dk why you’re so pressed when I responded civilly. It’s pointed out in the video she included in her comment something like ‘I just smiled and didn’t say anything.’ 😂 Idk how that’s anyone’s fault but her own. Nobody in that story new how to communicate but the OP slanted it in her favour by acting as if she was communicating when in reality, she avoided communication the most out of everyone.
ALL of them are in the wrong, I’m not defending bad people (life’s not black and white 🙄) and I’m not ‘completely wrong’ how you dare you be so fucking rude.
Get some perspective and DON’T respond to civil comments with unnecessary passive aggressive comments and such bitchy attitude.
Dylan should do more of these. Judging people is what he is best at after all 😂
Something he and I have in common
The only thing that bugged me was dylan not understanding the main reason of the MIL being in that home. She was there to help out the woman post delivery. Least she could do was cook and then she goes like nope no food today bye, wth are you here for ? If the post pregnant lady has to take care of the baby and then go make food for herself???? Like damn, why are you even here for if not to help/ take care??
yeah same lol I was so frustrated on that one
exactly... the dinner was the last straw... after doing nothing to help and leaving more work than anything else, she then what? purposefully not cook enough food for the wife? the wife breastfeeding a 5 week old?
seriously, it doesn't matter there's something else she can make, that's just *more* work
Heavy disagree on story #3
Dylan ignored key details like the fact that the mother is supposedly "putting her life on hold to help" them, while also taking up their living room, making a mess and inviting people over into THEIR home. He wouldn't LET her bring up anything about his mom and the fact that she's being told she should be grateful for MIL "help" while also making more work for the mom who is taking care of this newborn baby BY HERSELF is just a slap in the face. I'm so glad she finally took that straw and ran when she could. Who knows how bad his behavior towards his wife could of gotten the longer she stayed. (Statistics in 2020 show that domestic violence is 40% more likely within families of law enforcement, compared to the 10% of average families) UGH man, Dylan, your opinion on that was just aggravating to listen to, it's like you didn't actually read the story and ran with just the dinner situation by itself. I mean too, with how the father sent pictures of himself and his mom cooking together as "revenge", shows he clearly has enmeshment issues. Then there's the whole double standard where she has to live with and respect his mother, but he says he can't see his son while she's away because he hates her mother??? WTF is wrong with that man. Congrats on the divorce, mama!
About the dinner story, I agree with the mom. Pregnancy and breatfeeding takes everything out of you, you absolutely need food often even if it’s a smaller snack. Going hours can really bring a nursing person to a point where they can’t get up just because they’re hungry and it’s painful. A few hours can be painful if it’s not taken care of earlier on. I know from first hand experience, it’s not nice.
My opinions on the stories:
1) Why does her husband think their child's name is a "small gesture?" That is literally deciding the identity of a person for their entire life. Red flag.
2) After the first time the BIL barged in when he knew she was in the bathroom, he should've been kicked out of the house. What kind of awful husband lets that become a consistent issue in the first place?
3) She has every right to be pissed about not having a plate saved for her. This is clearly a straw that broke the camel's back situation, but from what she says, it seems she never expressed an issue earlier. So while I'm mostly on her side, I understand why her husband thinks she's overreacting, as it seems he thinks this is a reaction to purely the one instance, not a result of built up issues.
4) I wouldn't find it weird if the boyfriend was just upset that he had no control over the money, but he basically stole her credit card. That's 1000% not okay.
5) I didn't know babies could get legally married. Weird that a full grown woman decided to marry one though.
6) Maybe should've put more effort into making sure the call was short, but the husband is just as capable of ending the call. The BIL just wants to blame a woman rather than his brother.
7) Does this man want his family to starve??? Let her make 4 eggs.
8) Dude has no reason to complain when he gets to live at a nice place for so cheap. I can understand not liking the feeling of imbalance that comes from the girlfriend living for free while he has to pay, but also that's his problem. He should not expect her to split it with him.
9) If he's fully aware of the financial situation and knows they can afford the nice coffee just fine, then he's doing nothing wrong. Maybe there's a reason his wife cared so much about this that he's not sharing or she's not communicating with him.
To me the "I said nothing because if I open my mouth my husband starts scolding me" implies that she absolutely did try to express her issues, he responded poorly, she gave up and he thought that meant the problem was solved. Which leans me to blame her husband more.
For the 9th one, I was completely on his side the whole story until he snapped, I fully understand that when someone keeps pestering us we have a breaking point and he isn't a bad person but he could've definitely worded it better
You pretty much summed up about 50% of AITA when you said "When you marry someone, you're making a commitment to put them first."
Id say its a mixed bag, your parents should come first but not at the expense of your spouse.
I’d save my Mom before my wife. The bond of a government document can’t beat the bond of the woman who birthed me.
@@lorenzodemedici6332 again it depends. also it isn’t just a government document. you actually choose your wife. you don’t choose your mom.
@@lorenzodemedici6332
That's called, not being a good husband. Your wife is supposed be more than a government document, so unless your relationship is subpar, that makes no sense. You chose her to spend your life with. Why do that if your relationship is worth no more than the paper you signed?
The breastfeeding one was so triggering. First time mums need a lot of help. Sleep deprivation and breastfeeding consumes your life. My mother fed me for two months. There were days when I didn’t eat for from 8am to 11 pm but because my mum made sure there was food in the house, I was able to eat. Once I left my mum’s house with baby, husband wasn’t as clued on, but tried. Made sure there was water and food in arm’s reach when breastfeeding.
I feel like a lot of the time (not saying all the time) when a girl says she wants to be “treated like a princess” she means treated like a person who’s opinion and feelings matters
But to so many men, that's high maintenence so they come to think having any standards is 'being a princess'. It's a noticeable, ongoing problem for real
@@aff77141 a lot of men are also really emotionally unavailable bc of how society has treated them and the whole concept of masculinity. So I feel like what high maintenance is to a lot of men is actually average treatment. But a lot of women also have never been treated properly so they accept the bare minimum from anyone that shows them interest. It’s a whole thing but in anyones eyes “if they really loved you they’d do anything you need to keep you”.
Fair enough, but in my personal experience, girls who "want to be treated like a princess" have a sense of entitlement. Daddy's princess, give everything to me ect.
Different experiences I guess. But everyone deserves to have their opinions felt. Especially by their partner.
What the fu😂 That’s seriously BS. 90% of people who say they wanted to be treated like a princess meant that they want to be spoiled materially, loved unconditionally and be the number one priority. I would know cause I say that shit and I’ve seen countless ppl say that phrase and mean it the same way I do. This is the first time that I’ve seen someone conjure up a deeper meaning to the phrase “want to be treated like a princess”. When you say want to be treated like a princess, you mean it literally. not some philosophical bs. And there’s nothing wrong with harboring some selfish desires and indulging fantasy
From the number of likes you got makes me believe that this might be true though which begs the question whyyy though?
Because if you want to be treated like a person who's opinion and feelings matter, why not just come out and say it, why encrypt it in some saying.
And also there are princesses who's opinions and feelings don't matter. You wanna be treated like princess Diana??
About the dinner situation, I'm with you on the fact that all three parties here are in the wrong for different reasons, but I feel like the husband and his mom should have left her dinner anyways unless she explicitly said not to! It's not about the house not having any other food, it's just weird that you would not set a plate aside for someone you live with especially for a woman who just gave birth
Yeah, it's not like they inquired whether she wanted to eat before eating her share. All of them were insensitive (Dylan too) to the a person who's exhausted and I recovery and it just really rankles me.
Learned recently that when a pregnant lady doesn’t get enough nutrients from her food, her body takes what’s already there (like I read teeth falling out?? Cause of the calcium that the baby needed).
You’d think the MIL would empathize with her since she’s gone through pregnancy and should’ve kept some food for OP 🥲
I honestly think the dinner situation is just the tip of the iceberg on how dysfunctional this family is.
also the fact that she was breastfeeding & probably extremely hungry? also the fact that she should automatically get food considering she literally just gave birth
literally!! if i cook i'm asking everyone in the house first if they want a plate or not. it's so easy to just check. and MIL trying to lecture her about dinner time in her own home? hell no.
I feel for that dinner mom whose husband works in department lol. Imagine pushing a whole human, being sleep deprived, emotionally and physically drained. Noone is helping you with any chores and top of that nobody even saves dinner for you.
ngl Dylan sounds like a hypocrite when claiming a breastfeeding new mom isn’t that starving, when he isn’t mom and breastfeeding
I've never had a child but I have been super hungry and that feeling of going to the kitchen expecting food and there is no food is hands down one of the worst. I was literally crying and screaming. I can only imagine how worse this was for a breast feeding mother. Reeaaaaaaaaaallly bad take Dylan 😔
The way he minimizes the concerns of a woman who went through pregnancy. smh
YES!! even when it’s just something small i was saving for myself it’s so frustrating, being a breast feeding mother and having that happen sounds horrible
He obviously has no way of knowing what it feels like to have gone through pregnancy… 😅 He totally didn’t minimize her concerns related to pregnancy but her concerns about the food (which were pretty obviously not the real concern here but everything that had already gone down before in that family) 😩
thank god for this video cause i was gonna start watching his videos but this reminded me that he's just another man with bad opinions
@@arianeponicelli9115very mature of you to refuse to watch anyone with different opinions to yours
THANK GOD the comments were addressing the fact that not enough empathy was given to the mom (the dinner Reddit story)
The editing in this video is next level. It's making Dylan's jokes 10x times funnier lmao
Sooo, she just produced a meal for an entire human using the nutrients from her body, and they DIDN'T think she'd need a meal to make up for it after? Ok.
Oh man... Dylan is way off on that breastfeeding story. I don't think he has any idea how exhausting it is being a mother of a newborn.
Pregnancy he gets, but postpartum is apparently beyond him.
No cause the dinner story relationship made me so mad. The mom(op) was 100% in the right tbh. I’m assuming she put up with so much other crap that she met her tipping point. And the fact that it was in her own home as well?!?! Bro I cannot
I don't understand what MIL cooked that nothing was left for her. When I cook I usually have at least 4 portions of said food. It feels very intentional.
On top of that is makes a lot of sense that she wanted something to eat very bad since she was expending a lot of energy to take care of the child and breastfeeding. I am 100% on her side
When I was in high school I practically lived at my girlfriends house and every time I went in the shower her father would find an excuse to come into the bathroom including when I was getting dressed. It gave me SUCH anxiety but I was a teenager and living at his house for free so I felt like I couldn’t say anything but every time I had to shower my heart was hammering. I 100% feel for that girl
god that’s so awful, i’m so sorry that happened to you ❤
Oh my gosh that’s terrible! Ugh you poor thing. 😢❤️
So fucking predatory I'm sorry
Dylan's story about him and his brother accidentally locking his sister in a room made me laugh, I need more dylan family stories!
right?! i didnt even know he had siblings! he gives me only child energy,,,,
Ikr i laughed so hard when he said she started having a breakdown because she was locked in lmao
@@lilbrownbear Samee, I always thought he was an only child
@@lilbrownbear He has some vlogs with his family on Dylan Is In Trouble if they are still there. One of the first videos.
@@nadinej1038 i dont they're there anymore...they hvnt been there for a long time coz otherwise i wudve known about em.
the first one when the guys says to just do this “one small thing” by letting the friend name the baby is hilarious. ONE SMALL THING? that’s that kids name forever!!