How To Make A Genuine Apology

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  • Опубликовано: 26 сен 2024
  • When you hurt someone or break their trust, a heartfelt apology can be the first step toward healing and rebuilding your relationship. However, simply saying "I'm sorry" or “Sorry but...” may not be enough.
    As a couples therapist and husband of 40 years, I understand the importance of crafting a meaningful apology that demonstrates your genuine remorse, ownership of your actions, and desire to repair the damage caused.
    In this video, I delve into the art of making a good apology, focusing on how to convey sincerity to restore trust in your relationship. Whether you're facing a disagreement, a breach of trust, or hurt feelings, I provide you with insights and practical tips to navigate the delicate process of apologizing to your partner.
    Join me to explore the key elements of a successful apology and how to choose the right words to effectively communicate your regret and commitment to change.
    Seeking more tips on how to create a long-lasting relationship?
    Subscribe to my channel and stay tuned to my upcoming videos.
    Be well.

Комментарии • 40

  • @seattledramatherapy7199
    @seattledramatherapy7199 10 месяцев назад +6

    This is so to the point and valuable. My life improved one hundred percent when I learned to do this several years ago. I’m not perfect at it because no one is but I’m so much happier. And I also do this with myself because as a woman I let myself down a lot in favor of others and that integrity with myself is also important. Especially with that critic in my head that knows all the ways to escalate and reduce me to a screw up. We have a relationship now ! And we partner up. 😄

  • @vectorair1
    @vectorair1 Год назад +12

    I love that you’re doing these videos Terry! This information is gold! 🙌

  • @AnnStern-s6l
    @AnnStern-s6l 10 месяцев назад +4

    I agree that this information is golden! Relationships are a dance. You have a very open and realistic way of teaching this Harmony, Disharmony, Repair Cycle. Many Thanks

  • @susanpenn4015
    @susanpenn4015 10 месяцев назад +2

    Terry, such great stuff. Repair...so important to move beyond the polarity and idealizations of relationship and 'love."

  • @JoshuaJayChristie
    @JoshuaJayChristie 3 месяца назад

    You are an absolute saint! Relationships are better in this world because of you.

    • @realterryreal
      @realterryreal  2 месяца назад +1

      What a wonderful sentiment, thank you for your support!

  • @alexandersteinfort927
    @alexandersteinfort927 10 месяцев назад +1

    This is timely and helpful and I'm going to share with my partner. What is hard for me, however is that I have relationship anxiety and ROCD so I get stuck on the negative, have catastrophic thinking and relive the other moments when my partner wasn't so great, and can quickly jump to character judgments. when very stressed And to be fair, because of his own baggage he can get defensive, and sometimes rightly so! I'm not always so great, either. But I was encouraged to hear that it's the repair after the fight that can strengthen the relationship , that the fight won't necessarily weaken it.

  • @JaimiBrooks
    @JaimiBrooks 10 месяцев назад +1

    You're the best Terry. What a useful break down of an apology. Sharing with my community.

  • @clairebowen3034
    @clairebowen3034 10 месяцев назад +1

    Thanks for such clarity around the skills we all need to practice. Your training is golden.

  • @zigyphoto
    @zigyphoto 10 месяцев назад +2

    Terry, I use the word "acknowledgement" with my own clients and especially men in the group I facilitate. An "apology" requires something from THE OTHER -- forgiveness and acceptance -- while ":acknowledgment" is clean. PS: please look into your camera monitor when making these vids; very disconcerting to not "meet" your eyes.

  • @user-mv4il3vf3p
    @user-mv4il3vf3p 10 месяцев назад +1

    So helpful, straight forward, easy to understand Thank you

  • @jacklafleur8706
    @jacklafleur8706 7 месяцев назад

    Good summary Terry. Love it!

  • @jessicahutwelker3030
    @jessicahutwelker3030 10 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for this valuable wisdom! I appreciate how you speak in words that anyone can understand. This makes total sense, and I hope to see more!

  • @lisanovak5995
    @lisanovak5995 10 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you Terry. Love your book “ The new rules of Marriage”. Learned this from your books and now your videos are great reminders. ❤

  • @michaelleader633
    @michaelleader633 Год назад +5

    Let's try "Hey, I messed up and I'm sorry. I will try harder not to do that again,"

  • @HopeWay-r5q
    @HopeWay-r5q 10 месяцев назад +1

    Brilliant, sounds so simple, not always easy😂for some couples that are enmeshed in the angry cycle

  • @stellamiranda5742
    @stellamiranda5742 Год назад +1

    Thanks for your valuable advice. This helps unite families and this is what we want.❤

  • @DarrenElliottToronto
    @DarrenElliottToronto 10 месяцев назад

    This is a great resource for clients! Thank you!

  • @sandranix9615
    @sandranix9615 Месяц назад

    Thank you Terry

  • @areamusic147
    @areamusic147 Год назад +2

    I love this thank you!

  • @sospareja
    @sospareja 10 месяцев назад

    Excellent! Simple, profound, actionable..

  • @danson127
    @danson127 10 месяцев назад

    I wouldn't call it an imperfection of my character, but rather just an aspect of my nature.

  • @daphneboyer
    @daphneboyer 10 месяцев назад

    Excellent advice and an easily workable strategy. Or so it seems at this moment!

  • @gtrheratx
    @gtrheratx 10 месяцев назад

    deeply appreciate this video! ♥

  • @benevalete
    @benevalete 10 месяцев назад +2

    Why should I be in service of the other and make him happy when he is making me unhappy everytime I do something that nourishes me, to have the energy to hold the space for both???? Naaaa, there is no win win, I can do nothing right in his eyes, he has no respect at all, just wanting me to do what he finds accurate. No i m not his extention. Sorry. Good advice for couples where giving and taking seems quite in balance going through this circles. But if somebody judges me always wrong, well so I am the wrong person for this person anyway, thats my belief meanwhile.There are borders.

  • @BenBowen-d9k
    @BenBowen-d9k 10 месяцев назад

    Brilliant and helpful, as usual.

  • @karenyula3179
    @karenyula3179 10 месяцев назад +1

    Can you ever get a sincere apology from a narcissist? I never felt his remorse and I tried for YEARS to have him understand that with no luck. We are no longer together. I still feel sad that this man said he loved me and never really made needed changes to prove his love for me.

    • @emilywikman9361
      @emilywikman9361 10 месяцев назад

      This is my question as well🙏🏼. I have come to believe the answer is no. And that even if there is an apology of sorts, it’s not associated with remorse… not genuine. The narcissist can learn the right words though so it’s hard to discern. That’s my experience anyway.

    • @zigyphoto
      @zigyphoto 10 месяцев назад +1

      " to prove his love for me."
      It sounds a dreadful experience.........yet the above phrase is also. To expect someone to "prove his love" means there is an expectation that he was always having to meet...

  • @rootsandstarslodge
    @rootsandstarslodge 10 месяцев назад

    Well done, tahnk you!

  • @louiseshuttleworth9555
    @louiseshuttleworth9555 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you

  • @angiewaszkiewicz2931
    @angiewaszkiewicz2931 10 месяцев назад

    Outstanding

  • @KarinHuster
    @KarinHuster 10 месяцев назад

    I'm not sure I heard an apology, just an admission.

  • @ronroberts8036
    @ronroberts8036 10 месяцев назад +1

    Do you you have any vids addressing how to deal with partner's excessive amounts of fault finding and criticism in a way that they don't feel the need to just keep it to themselves?

    • @realterryreal
      @realterryreal  10 месяцев назад

      Yes this would be our video's on the Feedback Wheel.

  • @denisepridmore8371
    @denisepridmore8371 10 месяцев назад +1

    I am grateful for the process your are suggesting for couples. What are your thoughts on applying this process for sibbling relationships, or other types of relationships?

    • @realterryreal
      @realterryreal  10 месяцев назад

      I would apply it in much the same way

  • @funygameur
    @funygameur Год назад +3

    If you don't know how to talk, how to get to the point in a conscience way, you're not gonna make views, just saying!