I’m an SLD and my original Narcissist was my Mother. 4 years ago my Mom inadvertently admitted that she had known about my childhood incest and rape. That was the first time in my 47 years as her daughter that I allowed her to experience my anger. It came out in my matter-of-fact words. I delivered them calmly but sternly. This was her response, “Oh wowwwwwww….I never thought of you as such an awful, hateful person. Oh my god! Ohhhhhh my god! I think I’m having some kind of heart attack - I have to go to the ER. Bill (my Stepdad) take me to the ER” I left quietly… When Mom called me 45 minutes later I was on the road and she feigned ignorance to everything and anything that had just happened. No confession. No wrongdoing. No heart attack. No ER. Nothing. Only that I was a selfish and ungrateful daughter for disrupting our planned visit by disappearing for ‘no reason’.
Omg I’m so deeply sorry! She made that moment about her rather then you! These ppl literally are sick!! I pray that you find peace and healing in your body and mind.
I am sooo sorry. Please take good care of yourself moving forward ( which may include no contact with your mother ...) I am sending you lots of positive vibes ❤
I love how you pointed out that they think we are still stuck on them and we only give them more control by caring and showing emotions. And low level emotions are very strong and feed their egos. But when we love ourselves we give all that emotion and care into us and they just leave us alone because they can’t trigger us.
Brilliant!!! Helpful beyond measure. As an active SLD conditioned to anger and who has the physical consequences of long-term flight fight, it is fundamentally important I think to understand this for a sound recovery. Thank you doesn't cover it. A great tool of understanding to aid in the steps of survival and recovery.
The information has been paramount for me! Lots of videos available on general narc/codependent dynamics. But this video narrows down a specific issue that I desperately needed insight on. Real wisdom for complex issues! Thank you!
After a lot of self reflection and reviewing events from my childhood, I realized that I was not allowed to show anger, voice my opinion (if it differed from my father's opinion), or show disappointment. When I was about 8 years old, I was told to get in the car because we were going out for dinner. About half way to the restaurant, I ask which restaurant and when I was told, I said "I don't like that restaurant". My father made a u-turn in the street, and we went back home, and I wasn't given dinner that night. Other times when I showed disappointment, I would be beaten. No wonder I found myself married to a Covert Narcissist with his family of takers. At about the 15-year mark in my marriage, there was one day that I now realize was a pivitol point in my life. My husband sat watching TV while I got myself, the children, the food, the gift, and the car ready to go to his niece's wedding shower an hour away. My mom showed up and asked for help to wrap her gift and to get her food in the car. We arrived at the party and my husband got out of the car and walked into the party empty handed into the house, leaving the children still buckled into their seatbelts. Then my mother scolded me for showing anger. I burst into tears, which someone then informed my husband about, so he came back out to the car and said "let's go for a ride". When I said "shall we talk about it?" He said "no". I knew at that point that our marriage was over, and I needed to somehow figure out how to stop being everyone's doormat. People pleasing was no longer working for me, and I needed solutions.
Absolutely tremendous, Thank you Ross, You're absolutely beautiful, When you deal with Narcissists they thrive off your anger it gives them supply, So it's best to stay calm, Have immense self control 💞😀🥰😍😃😁 Who ever angers you controls you, You can always Channel your anger in a healthy way, I love you Ross, Peace, love to you and everyone, Thank you universe 😁😃🥰😀💞⚘️🧝♀️🛸🌌👽🐴♾️🐉🐉🐺💫🧿💎🌈🦄🦄
Never again will I be the same giving person to these humans ever again I’m blessed to see them for who they truly are 🙏🏽🙌💥💣
Humans? I'm not sure they actually are
I’m an SLD and my original Narcissist was my Mother. 4 years ago my Mom inadvertently admitted that she had known about my childhood incest and rape. That was the first time in my 47 years as her daughter that I allowed her to experience my anger. It came out in my matter-of-fact words. I delivered them calmly but sternly. This was her response, “Oh wowwwwwww….I never thought of you as such an awful, hateful person. Oh my god! Ohhhhhh my god! I think I’m having some kind of heart attack - I have to go to the ER. Bill (my Stepdad) take me to the ER”
I left quietly…
When Mom called me 45 minutes later I was on the road and she feigned ignorance to everything and anything that had just happened.
No confession.
No wrongdoing.
No heart attack.
No ER.
Nothing.
Only that I was a selfish and ungrateful daughter for disrupting our planned visit by disappearing for ‘no reason’.
Omg I’m so deeply sorry! She made that moment about her rather then you! These ppl literally are sick!! I pray that you find peace and healing in your body and mind.
All of you sharing your experiences, gives me courage and hope, that i am not broken completely. I can heal too…
Thanks for sharing 🙏🏻
@Erin Gilbert she displayed narcissism to a tee !! You’re a survivor
I am sooo sorry. Please take good care of yourself moving forward ( which may include no contact with your mother ...) I am sending you lots of positive vibes ❤
@@Joni_Sash A thriver, ideally.
I love how you pointed out that they think we are still stuck on them and we only give them more control by caring and showing emotions. And low level emotions are very strong and feed their egos.
But when we love ourselves we give all that emotion and care into us and they just leave us alone because they can’t trigger us.
Love this soul food to start my day… recovering SLD❤️ thanks Ross.
This is pure gold! I haven't seen anything like this on YT. ❤
Brilliant!!! Helpful beyond measure. As an active SLD conditioned to anger and who has the physical consequences of long-term flight fight, it is fundamentally important I think to understand this for a sound recovery. Thank you doesn't cover it. A great tool of understanding to aid in the steps of survival and recovery.
The information has been paramount for me! Lots of videos available on general narc/codependent dynamics. But this video narrows down a specific issue that I desperately needed insight on. Real wisdom for complex issues! Thank you!
After a lot of self reflection and reviewing events from my childhood, I realized that I was not allowed to show anger, voice my opinion (if it differed from my father's opinion), or show disappointment. When I was about 8 years old, I was told to get in the car because we were going out for dinner. About half way to the restaurant, I ask which restaurant and when I was told, I said "I don't like that restaurant". My father made a u-turn in the street, and we went back home, and I wasn't given dinner that night. Other times when I showed disappointment, I would be beaten. No wonder I found myself married to a Covert Narcissist with his family of takers.
At about the 15-year mark in my marriage, there was one day that I now realize was a pivitol point in my life. My husband sat watching TV while I got myself, the children, the food, the gift, and the car ready to go to his niece's wedding shower an hour away. My mom showed up and asked for help to wrap her gift and to get her food in the car. We arrived at the party and my husband got out of the car and walked into the party empty handed into the house, leaving the children still buckled into their seatbelts. Then my mother scolded me for showing anger. I burst into tears, which someone then informed my husband about, so he came back out to the car and said "let's go for a ride". When I said "shall we talk about it?" He said "no". I knew at that point that our marriage was over, and I needed to somehow figure out how to stop being everyone's doormat. People pleasing was no longer working for me, and I needed solutions.
Im so happy to have found this blessing 😢😊❤
Help 😢
Anger is a second condition of sadness?
Saved for another video...
Absolutely tremendous, Thank you Ross, You're absolutely beautiful, When you deal with Narcissists they thrive off your anger it gives them supply, So it's best to stay calm, Have immense self control 💞😀🥰😍😃😁 Who ever angers you controls you, You can always Channel your anger in a healthy way, I love you Ross, Peace, love to you and everyone, Thank you universe 😁😃🥰😀💞⚘️🧝♀️🛸🌌👽🐴♾️🐉🐉🐺💫🧿💎🌈🦄🦄
Do they just know if someone is an sld or not?
What church use to teach decades ago. M arr
So when do you not be afraid of it ?
You should be afraid of it. There are very dangerous people out there.