Hi Kyung-yeon, thank you for sharing your story. I'm also a Korean Adoptee in the Chicago area and can relate to many aspects of your story (I grew up in rural Minnesota in an all white community). I'm very sorry about your birth mother choosing not to meet with you. Unfortunately, this seems to not be uncommon with adoptees who try to connect with their birth parents. I would keep trying though, and eventually, after she has sufficient time to process things, she may come around. I'm in the process now of trying to locate biological family members. I was actually in Seoul last month for the first time since I was adopted and visited the orphanage where I was adopted (Holt), but they had no further information than I already had (which wasn't much). I did DNA testing at the local police station and I'm in the process of doing additional DNA testing here in the US, so my search continues... I agree, transracial adoption is complex and can encompass many different emotions and feelings which can be difficult to unpack. Speaking for myself, on one hand, I am grateful for being adopted by loving parents who instilled good values into me, but on the other, there is a certain degree of resentment re: my upbringing and a feeling of loss and sadness when trying to fill in the black hole of my life before I was adopted. I'm not sure if there is a right or wrong here, or a good side/bad side, but just a mix of emotions from all sides (adoptee, adoptive parents, birth parents) in a complex situation. Anyway, thank you for telling your story, you expressed yourself well.
So eloquent and measured -- really loved hearing her thoughts on how creating and maintaining distance in relationships (in this case, parent-child) can actually sustain love and respect. 4:40 Is her name Yeon-kyeong, though? And not 경연. They're both Korean female names for 90s kids, so it's easy to get mixed up.
Hi Kyung-yeon, thank you for sharing your story. I'm also a Korean Adoptee in the Chicago area and can relate to many aspects of your story (I grew up in rural Minnesota in an all white community). I'm very sorry about your birth mother choosing not to meet with you. Unfortunately, this seems to not be uncommon with adoptees who try to connect with their birth parents. I would keep trying though, and eventually, after she has sufficient time to process things, she may come around. I'm in the process now of trying to locate biological family members. I was actually in Seoul last month for the first time since I was adopted and visited the orphanage where I was adopted (Holt), but they had no further information than I already had (which wasn't much). I did DNA testing at the local police station and I'm in the process of doing additional DNA testing here in the US, so my search continues... I agree, transracial adoption is complex and can encompass many different emotions and feelings which can be difficult to unpack. Speaking for myself, on one hand, I am grateful for being adopted by loving parents who instilled good values into me, but on the other, there is a certain degree of resentment re: my upbringing and a feeling of loss and sadness when trying to fill in the black hole of my life before I was adopted. I'm not sure if there is a right or wrong here, or a good side/bad side, but just a mix of emotions from all sides (adoptee, adoptive parents, birth parents) in a complex situation. Anyway, thank you for telling your story, you expressed yourself well.
So eloquent and measured -- really loved hearing her thoughts on how creating and maintaining distance in relationships (in this case, parent-child) can actually sustain love and respect. 4:40 Is her name Yeon-kyeong, though? And not 경연. They're both Korean female names for 90s kids, so it's easy to get mixed up.