Helaas ook in Nederland zitten jongeren in restaurant aan hun smartfoon terwijl niet meer alleen conservatie aan de tafel. En helaas ook door niet meer vaste werkcontracten en niet meer doorbetaalde vacantie- en ziektedagen. Helaas steeds meer 24/7 werkdruk en bereikbaar zijn voor de baas. Maar inderdaad je kuny nog steeds volgens oudere leefmethode wel rond komen. Maar met 1 baan voor een heel gezin is het wel moeilijk rond komen. Maat je hent niet een aito nodig al je met fiets ook naar je werk kunt. Of met redelijk goed openbaar vervoer.
Do you know "UITWAAIEN" it means literaly offwind. It's a state of mind. It's go outside take a walk to and let the wind take all your worries, frustation to blow away. We love doing this in a very windy day (with some rain). In the forest with leaves rushing by the wind or go to the beach and walk into the wind. And after the walk go inside your house, café, bar, restaurant and order a hot chocolate, tea or coffee. Nice to do together, with the dog. Autum is the best time of year to do it. (sorry for the spelling flaws
Gooed explenation although I disagree with the translation a bit. The translation of waaien is "to blow", not "wind". But that is semantics. I am a big fan of Uitwaaien :)
We did not know about this! But it makes sense. I (River) was raised in a very windy part of the U.S. and used to love to go outside and just let it blow when I was stressed as a teen. We need to remember this when we feel overwhelmed!
Wow! Asking if you have other sick parents or grandparents? When my father passed away, my boss was saying: Take the time you need because there's only one chance to do this in a good and right way. And it felt so good to be with my mother and helping her with everything without worrying about work.
In Norway you can take up to 60 days paid Care Leave to look after sick or dying relatives. You'll also get financial funeral support. Both from the government (by law), from the late person's Work Union, and their insurance company. Fathers get 2 weeks Care Leave when their baby is newly born. To look after the wife/partner. Later they share the Maternaty Leave between them. It's roughly a year, fully paid. There's also Birth Money, with wich you can buy a pram, a cot, blankets and clothes for the baby. No need for a Baby Shower, as the Mother just buys what she needs. Once a month parents get about €200, for further baby/child stuff. This is payed out until the child is 18 years old. Love from Oslo, Norway ❤😊
I can’t even imagine. American’s go broke having children and caring for them, then having to go to work leaving the sweet baby in some strangers care.
Most is pretty accurate. One remark: it is rare that people take 4 weeks of Holliday in a row, the maximum is usually 3 and we use the rest of the time at other moments during the year.
That sick day thing always 🤯. The fact that if you get something more serious you can get fired, lose your job and your benefits that’s just inhumane. I recently heard about a man who got a stroke, lost his job etc. His wife had a job (off course) but could not really manage the hospital bills, mortgage. They also had a small child and now her car was broken. With all that stress accumulated there is no escaping from this. I really can’t fathom that. It’s like a very bad and scary movie.
The fact that in most western European countries healthcare is not so comercialised like in the USA is a great benefit. I live in the Netherlands and find life here a lot less stressful than in the USA. I have been to the States four times. A great holiday destination ( pre - Trump )
@hermanweekamp2262and we pay more taxes but thats a great trade off for more peace of mind imo. I've seen americans (in the US) criticize the wages in Europe but dont seem to understand that we dont go under when hit with health problems. The *pre-trump* had me chuckle 😅 tho i feel bad for the average american and i hope they can weather the orange storm.
The way it is arranged it a sort of silent solidarity. The healthy pay for the sick and handicapped, the young pay for the old , the workers for the unemployed. By law, no thanx, just as a right. So more security and less stress. We all pay for that out of wages and by taxes.
@hermanweekamp2262 I didn't have health insurance for twenty years. It is unaffordable except to the rich and, without your employer subsidizing a portion of the cost, it's too restrictive. At our last job in the US, if we had quit and chose to continue our health insurance policy, it would have cost us $1500 a month each (with the employer, it was $150 each, so similar to here). Even with insurance, our medications and co-pays added up to $3000 a year each.
What foreigners often fail to note is that Dutch directness goes hand in hand with Dutch tolerance. Sure, the Dutch will give you their opinion straight up. But the other side of that coin is that if you give your opinion to the Dutch, they don't get offended, even if they thoroughly disagree. They'll just shrug and think: "Well, that's just your opinion, dude."
Well, it makes sense, I think. When everybody is direct, and not tolerant, it wouldn't work. We would be fighting all day, because we would be constantly offended.
The Dutch directness is simply rudeness, they rarely give each other honest compliments. And Dutch "tolerance" is nothing but ignorance. The Dutch generally won't tolerate anything that bothers them or anything that is in their way. It takes a few years living here to realise this though.
@psvenssoreally? Being rude would mean we're not considered, we're mean, which we're not. Ignorance? The Netherlands has one highest standards of education. So, sorry you feel this way, but it's not true!
I felt like giving you a hug when you said you couldn't "niksen" for the first few months, how stressed you must have been. Glad you're enjoying the Netherlands :) (We're Dutch but moved to Sweden a year ago, but still nice to see people talk about the country we grew up in like you're talking about it 😊)
I think we may have missed the cue! Coffee and dessert was served, and in the US, that is when people really kick back, have a few cocktails and talk. We didn't realize that was the end of the party. Live and learn, I guess!
Yes, its very rude. Normaly if you invite people for dinner you'll know that they'll be staying for a few hours after. Its the "gezelligheid" you mentioned. Its being together with familie / friends talking about everything and nothing while enjoying your drinks and little snacks. If you tell you're going home the host probably will ask; Already?
@DutchLifeDiaries My experience as a Dutchie (Brabant) is that the guests and the host will discuss beforehand how long the visit will be so everyone knows what to expect. It's efficient. :)
And want to know something else? We really like Australians! Haha, generally speaking of course but that does seem to be a thing. We often vibe with Canadians too. Still all different countries and cultures, but some just vibe together better than others, even with so much distance between us p.s. neurodivergent one here as well^^
As a belgian, i find Dutch directness refreshing. I love shopping in NL, everyone is friendly and polite, up for small talk. We Belgians are more closed and hesitant.
I have some Belgian colleagues, and they can sometimes find it difficult to cope with. So when we say what we think, it can sometimes be taken as a judgement, even if that's not what it is. You asked for my opinion, so you're gonna bloody get it 😄 But it's meant well, and that doesn't always arrive at the other person. Of course, it goes both ways, so I do try not to be too direct, but also not beat around bush.
@thany3 It’s true, we’re hesitant to say what we really think, not wanting to hurt the other persons feelings. But that leads to frustration, I find it way easier to share your opinion in a respectful way.
Yes... Dutch directness... At first, when I arrived here (20 years ago), I wouldn't say it shocked me, but sometimes it made me uncomfortable. Then I realized it wasn't personal, but part of their culture, and... now... I really appreciate it. Talking with gloves here is very rare and superfluous compliments are almost non-existent. Another phenomenon here in the Netherlands is that I don't see fake "happy and smiling" faces. People here are authentic / real.
As a boss myself, I have to sometimes remind my employees to think about their needs over the company's from time to time. We work to live, we don't live to work. Need to come in late to bring the kids to school, because hubby is sick? Don't have to ask for my permission, just let me know so I don't worry where you are and start a searchparty to find you along the side of the road.
For me there's an aspect of 'gezellig' that is overlooked most of the time. It's the small sense of belonging, in the moment, with the people you share the (in)activity with. We all feel it, it doesn't need emphasis, it's just gezellig.
Mooi gezegd. Gezellig is voor mij ook ziels- en bewustzijnsniveau (het komt van binnenuit), alle energie van mensen en omgeving (ook decor kan gezelligheid uitstralen) zit op dezelfde golflengte. Spirituele toestand zou je kunnen zeggen? Iig leuk om eens bij stil te staan.
There are many Americans that know it’s not the greatest country, they just aren’t in the news. The more dysfunctional a person is, the more likely they are to be in the news. Plus, we have to travel so far to get to a country that speaks a different language unless you live on the Mexican border. Overlay your country and those bordering it on a map of the US. You will understand. Most Europeans don’t grasp how large the US is, and it explains a lot. They are afraid of being somewhere and not understanding or others not understanding when we talk. We don’t require learning another language. But our whole education system has been compromised by the ultra right to dumb down people so they are only qualified for menial jobs. It’s why the southern states recruit people from the northern states because they are better educated, even for blue collar jobs.
When the 2 of us sit on a terrace for drinks and we occupy a table for 4, and we see 2 people scanning the terrace for a table we will tell them the can sit with us if they want. It's a great way to meet people.
We love that. We share tables and have communal tables in big cities in the US. But there and here, you'll see American tourists from smaller areas really hesitant to sit with strangers. We witnessed it at Kasteel de Haar last week. Some Americans chose to stand in the hot sun for awhile and wait for a table rather than join the communal one in the shade.
Yeah I do that too with a friend of mine; you end up having the most interesting conversations. And you can opt out at any time, because hey; we're Dutch.
I do this in Houston!!! You should see the shock on people’s faces! Some join me - some don’t! It is certainly NOT the norm in our urban areas to do this!
A former employer's mother died suddenly, and I wasn't in a hurry to go home at the time, so I stayed on for a few extra days, took on extra work, closed the doors, and so on. A year later, my grandmother was hospitalized and kept asleep with morphine. My family and I took turns sleeping next to her. Fortunately, she passed away peacefully. My employer never asked when I would be back, and after about a week, only my demonstration car was exchanged because it was needed for a test drive. Three weeks later, the director welcomed me and asked if I was sure I could start yet, and everyone spared me major tasks for the first few days. (My employer never asked if any other family members were ill or about to die.)
Thank you for sharing this. It really highlights how understanding and considerate workplaces can make a huge difference during difficult times. It’s touching to hear about the thoughtfulness your employer showed, and it’s a reminder of how much compassion matters in work-life balance.
I just shared my experiences: this is exactly what happened to me when my parents died (2008, 2018)• My team leader never questioned nor gave a time span for me to be back• In 2018 he actually said that he didn't expect me at short noticed (my co-workers attended my mother's service)• When family situations happen to my co-workers forcing to call them off for work, we all would take over their mailboxes immediately, and we see them whenever they are ready for it•
American here. Dutch culture sounds wonderful and very appealing. Thanks for telling us in detail about your experience of a different culture - so many Americans think if anything isn't American, it's automatically inferior. They're missing out!
Yes, that's exactly why "we"(Europeans? I don't even know, but certainly a lot of people I know!) aren't so fond of Americans. The USA tourists here are either very polite and friendly, or completely anti- social with an attitude bigger than the statue of bigotry uhm....liberty, I mean. 😂😂😂
Im loving the Netherlands more and more, Im dutch but grew up in Portugal (which is also a fantastic country) but as a grow older I am realising how privileged I am living here❤
As do I, I have Adhd and autism and in the States I would be living under a bridge, if at all. No joke. Video's like this one always remind me how grateful I am to be born here and not somewhere else....
The holiday bonus is actually YOUR OWN MONEY… they reserve a part of your salary that get paid out once a year (generally May or June) so people will have money to actually go on a holiday. If you leave your job, your reserve holiday money is immediately paid out.
it is 8% or 8,33% or so on top of your gross hourly salary, it is not reserved out of your paycheck, unlike for example your workers pension percentage which is really paid by you.
@jenster29 nope, it is NOT. You are paid 100%. That is shown clearly when you examine your salary slip the moment you get 8%: You get deducted for tax because it not part of your normal income.
I lost my husband eight years ago we used to go on walks with our Great Danes and then go to a little terrace with them to have a drink. I still do this with my Great Dane now and it is so nice. People come to us and have a talk, children want to pet my dog it is so lovely and peaceful.❤❤❤
We are so sorry to hear about your husband. But we are glad you have these beautiful moments with your dog and community. Dogs are great at being conversation-starters!
Ik heb mij net geabonneerd op jullie videokanaal, beste River en Mark. Ik volg al een poosje en heb besloten om mij te abonneren. Jullie hebben het over de Nederlandse directheid. Ik vind het leuk dat vrienden, kennissen en familie op bezoek komen met een afspraak. Gezellig, leuk en ontspannend. Als mensen onaangekondigd op bezoek komen en blijven plakken, zeg ik altijd laconiek tegen hen: "Je jas ligt al buiten..." Met andere woorden: wanneer volg jij je jas naar buiten. Groeten uit Zutphen.😇
@demooisteNAAM Graag gedaan, de mooiste NAAM uit Osdorp. Bedankt voor je fijne reactie op opmerking. Ik wens jou een fijne dag toe vol met plezier en levensvreugde. Groeten van Lizzy😄😄
I'm a dutchman and it really suprises me that this all sounds so special to people who live in other countries. A saying in holland is that u keep ur work en ur privatelife separarted from eachother and don't take ur work at home. We are ambitious and work hard to accomplish that, but our free time is sacred and seen as our true lifes. It's not important how much money u have or how big ur car is, the only thing that matters if ur are happy with ur life and who u are. My opion is that the pressure on you to keep ur jobs and income is way to high to be happy, it gives u a lot of stress and is not healthy for ur body and mind and makes u even more less productive. It's not about working as much as u can, but feeling comfortable and happy to be more productive and creative. Status is nothing, beeing happy is everthing!!
I am Dutch and you were spot on. Gezellig has the word "gezel" in it. It is an old Dutch word that has two meanings. 1. The one that is accompanying you (on a walk or travel) mostly when you are traveling alone. 2. A learner of a trade with a master is a "gezel". Just for reference and to further your Dutch cultural integration, haha.
Totally wrong in explanation. Gezel has nothing to do with ‘ gezellig ‘ Dutch explained: Een gezel (de klemtoon valt op de laatste lettergreep) was vroeger iemand die doende was een beroep te leren. Hiervan afgeleid wordt de term gezel ook nog gebruikt bij sommige beroepsopleidingen, en in een aantal meer symbolische situaties. In brief its a learning person. Metgezel is a person that is accompanying you a lot. Like levensgezel and vrijgezel what means he or she has no partner etc. Gezellig is only a wordt used for a nice happy atmosphere, comfortable and plezant to be with in.
From Wikipedia: Gezellig is derived from gezel, originally a person who was busy learning a profession at the guilds, a degree between student and master. During this learning phase, the gezel shared a stay with other gezellen. The word gezel is based on 'zaal' (Hall). So someone with whom one shares a house, and later someone with whom one is together. Gezelschap (Company), vrijgezel (bachelor), metgezel (companion) and levensgezel (life companion) have the same basic meaning. Gezelschap (Company) is a related word. Gezellig is afgeleid van gezel, oorspronkelijk een persoon die bij de gilden bezig was een beroep te leren, een graad tussen leerling en meester. Tijdens deze leerfase deelde de gezel een verblijf met andere gezellen. Het woord gezel heeft als basis ‘zaal’. Dus iemand met wie men een huis deelt, en later iemand met wie men samen is. Gezelschap, vrijgezel, metgezel en levensgezel hebben dezelfde basisbetekenis. Gezelschap is een verwant woord.
The Dutch way of life seems beautiful to me! American here doing my best to find the state of relaxation & being present. Truly present. Thank you for sharing.
As a Dutch person I really enjoyed this video of your observations about Dutch (and in some cases also broader European) culture. It reminds me we have a lot to be thankful for. Especially the work-life balance! Man, I can't believe Americans put up with the toxic work culture over there in the US!
Plenty of people disagree with the work culture over here but if you wanna get promoted you kinda gotta go along with it. Once you reach a certain level you can tell people to f off with contacting you on weekends and set more normal boundaries but for entry level employees you sorta just have to push through it and then hope to implement change from above once you get there.
Thank you guys! I like your video. I'm Brazilian, married to a Dutchman, and have lived in the Netherlands for 15 years. I completely agree with you. The Dutch mentality has also improved my life in many ways. I love the Dutch "directheid"; it makes social interaction much easier. Of course, nothing is perfect, but even in the things I still have some difficulties with, I can understand the reasons behind them. I’m happy here.🇳🇱♥️
One of the Dutch terms I like which may reflect our culture is the word for “society”: “samenleving” which literally translates to our “together living”.
@jasperdegroodbeg to disagree. Other countries have this concept. Do not remember who said this, maybe Bernhard Hammelburg, referring to Thatcher: there is no such thing as society. Meaning: there will be no back up when you need one. And politics here adopted it: participatiemaatschappij. The UK still know benefits though. Then, long ago i read an American article about life expectancy. It appears in some neighbourhoods or small villages ppl live longer than generally. When they researched the living conditions it appeared they were really living together, no need to keeping up with the Jones'. There was a sense of community. Most of them had recent roots in Europe.
Reminds me of my American grandmother's joke: "Here's your hat. What's your hurry?" Been here 58 years years - so I wish you both many happy years in The Netherlands.
You guys did a great job sharing your experience. I’m Dutch and lived in Rhode Island for about eight years. I really loved it there, but I did miss the Netherlands. Both places had their perks, but in the end, the Netherlands looks after its people better.
Great video! I’m American and have lived here for 52 years! Love the country and love Dutch directness. Most Americans now find me too direct! I married a Dutchman. Never going back to the USA.
Thank you for watching! You sound really happy here - why would you ever give that up! Yes, I've become habituated to being direct, and I have to be cognizant of it when talking to family back home.
@DutchLifeDiaries you make me conscious of what directness really is: we allways say what we think and tolerate whatever answer, and don't feel at ease when someone prevaricates (eromheen draait)
It used to be the case here, but now everyone is "busy" and has things to do. The way it's now is not always seen as better. Unexpected people coming by could be gezellig.
Thank you for this video. I once considered moving to the us, but hearing about everything that is 'normal' over there, i am glad i didn't. I am prouder than ever to be dutch. All the best to you both🍀
Funny, during my childhood a looooong time ago, the local veterinarians son was my best friend. Once he told me that his parents had guests who stayed very late. About 3 o'clock in the morning the vet was tired, and asked the guests if they would like to see his new pyjamas.
Niksen, makes me think of the Italian “ dolce far niente “ , the art of doing nothing 😊. Just letting your mind wander off ,often brings insight or inspiration..
“Gezellig” contains the word “Gezel”, that originates from the Middle Ages, meaning the other members of your Gild. It translates as “companion” or “buddy”. So it certainly has to do with being together, having a good time. 😊
Most of the things that are being discussed here are contingent on having a high trust society. Your boss trusts you not to abuse sick days. They know that once you are at work, you work hard and do not laze about. Unfortunately our high trust society is starting to crack due to various pressures on our society.
Very nice to hear how you experience things. Niksen, is very much a thing we will 'do' at home. Not really just on holiday or in a bar. And when you are in a bar, on a terrace, especially with others, it is considered rude to have your phone next to you or to be on it. Funny the dinner party - I actually got this in the US, as it was a 'school' night, where I thought, we would be talking gezellig at dinner and afterwards. We will usually say in advance, so around 22:00 I'd like to go to bed. I struggled most with NE coast passive aggressiveness and them finding me assertive (direct) and felt I had to hold back. It made me feel very 'unauthentic' and I ended up moving back within two years. Thanks for making this!
What struck me is that the main goal in American life or society seems to be to work as much as possible. What you said about your employer being offended by your taking time off for vacation. Your main focus should be your work, your employer. Everything else is less important, a hindrance to your main life goal: to work as much as possible and to please your employer. Essentially one step away from being an actual slave.
I'm a Dutchie-Amsterdammer, living in California... For me, the 'Planning ahead' experience is different; you could always show up on a neighbor's or friend's doorstep unannounced. This is where the Dutch directness comes in: They will tell you if it is not convenient at that moment. If it is... come on in! Hardstikke leuk & Gezellig zeg. What I do love about the real 'planning ahead' aspect... You can set up an event or appointment for months down the road, put it on your calendar, no need to reconfirm, no last-minute people pulling out of a commitment. Like AMERICANS DO: ALL THE TIME!!!! Still drives me batty, and it's been forty years. ;).
You can no longer spontaneously visit a friend, or not like 40 years ago. Nowadays you really have to make an appointment ... lost a few "friendships" over this.
Watching you guys is always great fun.I think your vids make us (the Dutch) appreciate these little things more,and not take it for granted.So your learning process is good for everyone 😊(i recently subscribed to your channel)keep up the good work!
Als Nederlander (die sinds 18 jaar in het binnenland van Spanje woont), leer ik van deze video hoe het blijkbaar in Amerika is. Weinig aantrekkelijk lijkt me. De werk ethiek in Amerika komt wel zo ongeveer overeen met die van Spanje.
Probably the biggest difference in culture and mindset between the Dutch and Americans is the following: Fitting in rather than standing out. I know Americans can be very proud of their individual achievements, and rightly so! Its a very competative enviroment over there and having succes is not easy. However in The Netherlands sharing too much about that succes is frowned upon. Its seen as bragging, like telling someone you are better than them. Doing just as well as the rest is simply good enough. So, for all Americans coming over here: If you have plenty to spend, thats great and we are happy for you, but we dont need to hear about your fancy hotel suite or the top of the line car you are driving or whatever. Because I might have a lot less to spend and that will make that conversation very awkward.
When we go to The Hague, we tend to see a bit of that American showing off around the expat areas, and it really stands out to us now that we are viewing it with fresh eyes. I lived in LA briefly, and everyone there wants to know what car you drive. That is how they open up an introduction! "Hi, I'm so-and-so. Nice to meet you. How are you? [no waiting for reply] Good, glad to hear it. So what got you here? No, I mean, what are you driving?" I answered, "I'm driving my cousin's 1998 SUV. Do you need a ride home or something?"
@DutchLifeDiariesWell Dutch brag too of course, i mean its not some sort of genetic trait. But its a bit more subtle. People like to tell about how well their kids are doing in school, maybe you sold an artwork, got an article published or perhaps just met the love of your life.
"Niksen" gets closer to Zen than "gezellig". I have a wooden bench at the end of my garden on the waterfront. I love to sit there after work, with a beer, and just watch the sun set in the evening and muse. I let my mind go where it goes, lots of memories to reminisce about, or let my creative side come up with unexpected plans for the future.
I absolutely agree. It feels like when I used to meditate- non-judgmental presence and letting the mind go where it goes. Your spot in the garden sounds amazing!
And the particular example of 'niksen' you gave, can be specified as 'mensen kijken' (watching people). Actual national sport, with medals and everyting
What a neat insight into Dutch culture! It’s something that one would probably never gather from just being a tourist. I certainly appreciate your willingness to make this video and tell those of us ,who don’t live in the Netherlands, these insights!
We Dutch don't like surprise visits. When I think about it it's mainly a matter of planning. Everyone is welcome, even without prior notice, but we like to take good care of our guests, so we always want to be able to offer them something. So, we usually do a lot of grocery shopping to ensure we have enough food and drinks for our guests. We don't like it when we can't offer people anything. Unfortunately, the advent of smartphones and social media in the Netherlands has made it less Gezellig these days. People texting each other across the table happens here as well. And niksen is also very difficult with a device constantly demanding your attention.
Your last two points are sadly true everywhere- hopefully if we all point out these mindsets people will want to hold onto them. Preparing in advance really helps us feel secure and frees up time.
02:54 great to see a part of my hometown in your video as well on a lovely day when the city is filled with buckets of flowers and plants everywhere to color up the grey/green city even more. And later on also the Hooglandse Kerk, Annie's Verjaardag (lekker niksen), De Burght (The kind-of-castle-settlement for which you have to go up a 50-step stairs. Back in 1574 pretty much all the residents locked themselves in there to keep the Spanish out; The city got liverated early october and it'[s still being cvelebrated every year on october 3rd.)
I am Dutch and on wellfare. But I am happy. Why? Well, I have a roof over my head, I am healthy, I have food in my stomach, I have friends. What else does a person need? Everything else is just decorative. We will leave it all behind when we die.
@DutchLifeDiaries I respectfully disagree with you. Of course, I do not wish someone on welfare should be unhappy. But please realise, that welfare in the end is paid by the people working ("welfare" compares to "bijstand" that basically means "support"). So I believe that everyone should endeavour to support him/herself to their needs; if that is for some reason not possible, it is fully OK to live on welfare. There is a movement in The Netherlands in favor of a "basisinkomen": everyone (regardless of social status, financial strength and ability to work) should get a basic income to be able to live on minimal standards without any questions. This must be brought up by income generated by people working, exploit an enterprise or having estate income. The forefighters for this system had the assumption that there was a natural urge to start working anyway to increase their income. Recent studies showed that this did not work out.
@HuPhiLa5816 Well it's not my fault that I was born with a chronic illness and that everyone I loved died in the last 5 years. I wanted to kill myself several times over the last couple of years. Also because of people who assume that I am just lazy. But I decided that I am worth a life, even if the elites disagree. I hope you never have the life I have. And I hope you become a kinder person eventually. It is always the people who have never suffered who assume that those who do are lazy and lying. Your salary won't increase when I die, sorry. People like you think wellfare is a honey pot, but they would go insane on wellfare. I can promise you that. I know quite a few people who have a 100 times more than I have, yet are always angry at the poor. Blaming them for not having more. And if all the poor would disappear, they would find a new group to blame. Wellfare gives you the absolute minimum in life. If people being happy with the absolute minimum is an issue - I think that's your personal issue.
Planning ahead and not being spontaneous ringing at the door and come to visit. I think it depends on where you live in the Netherlands. We have lived in Brabant, and our neighbours would come in spontaneously. Between families it's okay to to come and ring the doorbell and ask if it's a good time to have "een bakkie" cup of tea,coffee or something else. In our family most of the time it's okay and with some friends too. I loved this video of you both, makes me proud to be a Dutchie. Thank you for sharing ❤
Well i live beneath Rotterdam, this is how i grew up, don't know any better, you go to your neighbor for a cup of coffee and a "kletspraatje", or you invite them when your in the mood for some socializing and small talk, just "gezellig". (if you have nice neighbors of course), but sometimes if you have bad luck.........
Then start learning Dutch as soon as possible! You have to study and pass a test before you can permanently stay in The Netherlands. The test you need to pass is called the "inburgeringstest".
It's refreshing to hear that what I take for granted, you consider special. I only miss it when it's not there. But now I can appreciate it while I'm in the thick of it, thanks to your foreign perspective. Thank you! And it also makes me proud in a way that Dutch culture apparently understands that the only real scarcity in life is not money, but time. And that means that relatively many people in the Netherlands are time millionaires.
I concur with most if not all of what you told in this wonderful video. With one addition: I suspect that the couple that told you ‘directly’ that it was time to go because they want to unwind and go to bed were probably still ‘getting to know you’? Or maybe they did not know how to get the message across in English in a nicer way. Because I myself am 100% Dutch and would not have said it that directly. But you are right in that I would have found a way to gracefully end the visit.
I think we misread the coffee and dessert “moment”- in the U.S., that is usually when you then go into the main conversation rather than signaling the end of the evening. Lost in translation moment for us!
Am Dutch living in Spain for last two decades... I like the way you share your experiences about the Dutch. Very regonisable. Enjoy your time there ! Regards from Spain
I really am very glad to hear that you both are so happy here. It is nice that you have made this website and I think it can be very usefull for many people: both Dutch and people from abroad. And oh yeah, I really appreciate that you are trying to lear the Dutch language and culture. I wish you both many happy years in the Netherlands❤
Hi guys, nice video. Please be aware that Dutch directness comes in grades. If you live in Amsterdam (or the Randstad) brace for it. If you live in other parts of the country Dutch directness is less.
Agreed. Many of the things discussed in the video are Randstad things, not necessarily Dutch things. In Brabant, no one would ever tell you to leave after dinner! People from the Southern Netherlands are equally shocjee by Northern directness as most foreigners are.
On the etymology of the word in Dutch : gezellig is een samenstelling van ‘gezel’ met het achtervoegsel -ig. Een gezel was (in 1100: gesello) was een metgezel, kameraad of collega. Toen het begin 14e eeuw in onze taal opdook als gesellich, betekende het dan ook vriendschappelijk of simpelweg ‘omgaande met anderen’.
As a Dutchman, I am surprised that a mindset of not always working yourself to death comes as a culture shock. No wonder that Americans keep shooting and sueing each other all the time for stress relief. Several experiments of a 4-day work week have proven that a 4-day workweek makes people more productive. Not more productive per day, but per week! It surprises me that Americans are resisting this knowledge to become happier and healthier and more productive all at the same time so fiercely. I work full time, because I like my work, and I have almost 8 weeks of paid vacation per year, and I know multiple people who have more. I even have a minimum of three consecutive weeks that I must take any time in the year. If I fail to do so, I will get into trouble with my employer.
I am Dutch and I like to hear your thoughts about us and the Netherlands. We don't think about because that is just the way it is. Very nice that you hold a mirror. Your explanations are spot on. So nice that you like it here and I wish you and your beautiful cat happiness here! Are you here temporarily or "forever"?
Dank je wel! That really means a lot to us. We’re so happy to be here and hope to build a permanent life in the Netherlands and contribute positively to Dutch society. Fingers crossed the Dutch government agrees 🤞🇳🇱
Depends, with some colleagues I won’t bet an eye, with some I do.. 😂 But then I was once seriously embarrassed by my own behaviour when a colleague had stayed at home sick for 3 weeks because of hay fever (hooikoorts). I only ever knew people whom sneezed a lot. Snotty nose etc. When this guy stayed away for 3 weeks I thought “what bs”. Then when he came in on week 4, I felt sooooo ashamed for my thoughts, 😳he looked TERRIBLE! His eyes near closed puffy, snot dripping, and general sad look, all I could think was “I WAS VERY, VERY, VERY WRONG” and told him he should go home again.
@hamster4618 😂Something similar happened to me. I had an abscessed tooth, and my boss told my co-workers in a meeting that I probably had a hangover. Strange assumption since I was a hard-working single parent at the time, and rarely got a chance to go out. On the second day I called out because I still couldn't get an emergency appointment, and I had to send him a photo of half my face looking like it was about to pop to prove it.
Did you notice there is often a (deeper) exhalation after one says ’gezellig’. That ‘sigh’ or ‘oh’ is to take it all in- an appreciation for the togetherness, the warmth and belonging.
My definition of gezellig: Feeling comfortable in the company of one or more people. Enjoying the moment with the people you are with and not having to put on airs, whilst having a fun time.
you don't have to sit on a terras to do niksen. You can do it at home also. There is also "rommelen" : kind of niksen, but still doing something, not so important stuf, like folding socks, changing a plants pot, or sorting out the magazines that already lay for a year next to the couch. Everything very relaxed. Good for a sunday afternoon in autumn, when the weather is grey.
Haha 'rommelen'. That's my standard reply after they ask 'How was your weekend' or "What are your plans this weekend?". 'Rommelen' covers a lot of small tasks or chores that can be considered not important enough to talk about but still necessary or maybe even pleasurable to do.
@lisac6139 YES! Rommelen, I love it! I like to see it as Samadhi (one-pointedness in buddhism). Care-free, relaxing and fun and sometimes even very productive, but not necessarily haha. Great vid guys! What positive and pleasant mirror for us Dutchies and good on you to take our 'quirks' to enrich yourselves.
In the Netherlands (Europe in general) it is ‘ you work to live, you don’t live to work ‘. The work/live balance in the USA feels to me it should not really include the live part…. FYI, the holiday money is deducted from your salary during the year. So your employer is sort of ‘saving’ it for you, so people can’t spend it all.
I got choked up watching this because this is so affirming that the Netherlands is where I want to be. My partner and I have been talking about moving out of the US in a few years. We want to go somewhere we can feel more relaxed and there's more community. When we visited the Netherlands and connected with friends last summer it felt like home in a way hard to describe. Professionally I need to learn Dutch to continue in healthcare there. I've just started learning in the last couple weeks. It's gonna take dedication. Watching this gives me motivation to practice as I align more with this lifestyle and mindset.
We started with DuoLingo while still in the States. We got to an A1-A2 level by the time we got here and it really helped. You might also want to check out the channel, Daring to Go Dutch. She is in healthcare and had to learn healthcare-based Dutch to continue here. She has some videos about her language journey specifically for that field.
just some funny things we have that are less direct and a little more subtle. On wedding receptions or condolances after a funaral there is something called (pardon my french) "oprotkoffie" or in English "Kickoutcoffee" so during the reception drinks and small snacks are served but when the planned time of the reception closed. The venue will start serving coffee often with some cake to everyone in the room. That is the sign for all guests to drink their coffee or finish the drink they have and start leaving.
To be honest, as a Dutch person, I feel like we are very individualistic and there are lots of branches of work where they expect you to spend time on work outside of working hours (like admin, preparations, questions/email, presentations etc, *ahem, healthcare*). And people really aren't that social anymore. Everybody is on their phone on the train. Kids are on their phone in between classes. Even at the doctors appointment people'll grab their phone to scroll a little while the doctor's typing out two more sentences before asking the next question. I'm flattered you guys think positively about us, but it feels somewhat framed to make it seem like everything is sunshine and roses.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. We definitely don’t want to give the impression that everything is perfect or that all people and experiences are the same. From our experience, there are wonderful aspects of Dutch life, but like anywhere, there are also challenges, especially with work-life balance and the impact of technology on social interactions. Perhaps highlighting these virtues will show why they are important enough to fight to retain.
It was not like people were talking to each other on the train or at the doctor's before there were cell phones. Everyone was reading one of those free newspapers or just staring out the window. When I'm at the doctor's there are mostly elderly people there, not on their phones, but not talking to each other either. It's super awkward to talk to people at the doctor's. If you do, you have to talk about the reason you are there, and very often you don't want to. That wasn't any different in the past. You respect other people's privacy at the doctor's by not engaging in small talk.
@anniehope8651 I agree that it's weird to talk in the waiting room, but that's not quite what I meant. I work in healthcare and see people while they are speaking with the doctor, and even then they often whip out their phone when there's a moment of silence. It's become a subconscious reflex to grab your phone whenever you're not actively doing something.
As an American that has spent a decent amount of time in the Netherlands and is moving there soon I agree that there isn't none of this in the Netherlands (and I don't think the video was trying to say that) but compared to American culture it is much less. It exists, but it isn't a cultural habit the way overwork is in the US for example. In the US it really is the default expectation form almost ever job that you work (without pay) outside of your regular work hours and that you be available 24/7. While I've certainly met Dutch people who work outside of their typical hours this seems generally reserved only for certain industries or certain types of people.
what most foreighners miss on gezeligheid is also the athomspheer your surrounding is. the way you make your house feel warm and welcome becouse the way your interiour looks like. (as far as i can se your living room is) but also a restaurant or cafe geefs out a warm welcoming feeleng even when there are heardly any people inside. and even outdoo rseating can feel gezellig with nice forniture flowers on the table etc. so it is more than just having a good time with friends or family bur also your surrounding can give that cosy athmosfeer. in the netherlands it is often frowned upon or sometimes forbiden to go into a cafe, open you laptop and work. cafe's are social places were you engage with other people, weather that are people whit who wou are or other people at the cafe. and closing yourself off behind a laptop in often not apriciated. it is even better to go "niksen" than open up a laptop becouse that makes you unaprocheble. legaly in the netherlands your boss is not alowed to ask what you've got when you report in sick. that is part of privacy laws. in the netherlands everyone has legaly the right to thake three weeks in a row off once a year so peolple go on theire vacation. More that three weeks it can get refused, but when taking vacation time off has to be agreed by both parties so not everyone in the compagnie takes vakation at the samen time but the majority takes it during the summer. since 2013 municepality's can diside if shops are alowed to be open on sundays. before that is was national law and shops could only open a certen times a year onb a sunday. now most municepelitys let shops be open 7 days a week but ceveral do not.
Thanks so much for this detailed explanation! You’re right-gezelligheid is really about more than just people; the atmosphere of a home, café, or even outdoor seating makes a big difference - and without competition/showing off. We’ve noticed that too, and it’s fascinating how cultural norms around work, vacation, and privacy support that cozy, approachable vibe. First time we saw a Dutch cafe was in Maastricht (in Winter), and they had cozy blankets on each seat. We were actually surprised by this because it isn't done in the US. In the US, those blankets would be stolen.
Very good video, and nice to hear the good stuff. I think the planning ahead of visiting would likely be more a city life thing. If you go living in the country side ("het platteland") like Zeeland (where I grew up) or Brabant , things can be quite different. People in small communities are more used to big families and people just coming over on very short notice or just happening to drop by, walking in through the (unlocked) backdoor shouting "Volluk!". A whole different world from living in the big city :-D.
The Dutch take most decisions by consensus. So a lot of talking is involved to get to the point of consensus. And you need directness, otherwise it will be difficult to reach a decision. One of the most important things Dutch children learn at home and at school is to express themselves.
@ankavoskuilen1725 no, we didn’t. But the kids nowadays do. You probably know that according to UNICEF the Dutch children are the happiest in the world. One of the reasons they mentioned was this.
@jannetteberends8730 I know I wish I could have raised my child here. Watching the kids here, it reminds me of my upbringing in the 1970s - more freedom to explore and play, more being allowed to be a kid.
making decisions by consensus is ingrained in our culture. Dutch start making polders rom the early middle ages. If you live in a polder you have to make decisions by consensus, you have to pump the water out together, otherwise you feet get wet.
wow, as a Dutchman I think you hit the nails right on their heads and I'm sure you figured out how to translate "gezellig" as well. I never thought about it, but it sounds all very clear and right to me. A good analysis video!
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This video was spot on and a good observation of us Dutchies ! 👍
Thanks for watching!
Dutch approved👌🏻👌🏻
I love this couple for being so outspoken.
The Netherlands are certainly no paradise but I’m happy for them to feel at ease Here.Thank you❤
Welcome in the Netherlands :)
Helaas ook in Nederland zitten jongeren in restaurant aan hun smartfoon terwijl niet meer alleen conservatie
aan de tafel. En helaas ook door niet meer vaste werkcontracten en niet meer doorbetaalde vacantie- en ziektedagen. Helaas steeds meer 24/7 werkdruk en bereikbaar zijn voor de baas. Maar inderdaad je kuny nog steeds volgens oudere leefmethode wel rond komen. Maar met 1 baan voor een heel gezin is het wel moeilijk rond komen. Maat je hent niet een aito nodig al je met fiets ook naar je werk kunt. Of met redelijk goed openbaar vervoer.
Do you know "UITWAAIEN" it means literaly offwind. It's a state of mind. It's go outside take a walk to and let the wind take all your worries, frustation to blow away. We love doing this in a very windy day (with some rain). In the forest with leaves rushing by the wind or go to the beach and walk into the wind. And after the walk go inside your house, café, bar, restaurant and order a hot chocolate, tea or coffee. Nice to do together, with the dog. Autum is the best time of year to do it. (sorry for the spelling flaws
Gooed explenation although I disagree with the translation a bit. The translation of waaien is "to blow", not "wind". But that is semantics. I am a big fan of Uitwaaien :)
We did not know about this! But it makes sense. I (River) was raised in a very windy part of the U.S. and used to love to go outside and just let it blow when I was stressed as a teen. We need to remember this when we feel overwhelmed!
@DutchLifeDiaries
It's the reason we go to the beach in fall.
Whenever there is a good storm; go to the beach!
@Be-Es---___lovely❤
Not exactly as the translation of “offwind” is “uit de wind”,
“Blow out” seems more appropriate.
As a Dutchman, for a couple of Americans you two seem unusually suited to Dutch culture to me.
Yes, my thoughts too, from the start. Uncanny ! ;-)
@sophietarafiona😂
Thank you - that made our day!
your language sounds very native though, I'd love to get to that next level grammar. How did you do that?
To whom are you asking your question ?@d.2110
I am actually getting more and more pleased of being Dutch watching your videos 😂
Same!! As a Dutchie, I didn't know these were rare or typical Dutch :O
I agree!!
Please be proud😊 much love for Dutch
Wow! Asking if you have other sick parents or grandparents? When my father passed away, my boss was saying: Take the time you need because there's only one chance to do this in a good and right way. And it felt so good to be with my mother and helping her with everything without worrying about work.
In Norway you can take up to 60 days paid Care Leave to look after sick or dying relatives.
You'll also get financial funeral support. Both from the government (by law), from the late person's Work Union, and their insurance company.
Fathers get 2 weeks Care Leave when their baby is newly born.
To look after the wife/partner.
Later they share the Maternaty Leave between them. It's roughly a year, fully paid.
There's also Birth Money, with wich you can buy a pram, a cot, blankets and clothes for the baby.
No need for a Baby Shower, as the Mother just buys what she needs.
Once a month parents get about €200, for further baby/child stuff.
This is payed out until the child is 18 years old.
Love from Oslo, Norway
❤😊
@ninaelsbethgustavsen2131 😮
I can’t even imagine. American’s go broke having children and caring for them, then having to go to work leaving the sweet baby in some strangers care.
@ninaelsbethgustavsen2131 This was wonderful to read, that's how the world should work everywhere!! ❤
@sannie081 I was flabbergasted when I heard that. What a crappy work culture and boss.
Most is pretty accurate. One remark: it is rare that people take 4 weeks of Holliday in a row, the maximum is usually 3 and we use the rest of the time at other moments during the year.
Thx for pointing out the things i take for granted......made me realize that we still have a nice country
Thanks for watching!
as a Dutchman, it's soothing to listen to such calm and positive critiscisme , thanks for that!👍🏼🇳🇱
That sick day thing always 🤯. The fact that if you get something more serious you can get fired, lose your job and your benefits that’s just inhumane. I recently heard about a man who got a stroke, lost his job etc. His wife had a job (off course) but could not really manage the hospital bills, mortgage. They also had a small child and now her car was broken. With all that stress accumulated there is no escaping from this. I really can’t fathom that. It’s like a very bad and scary movie.
The fact that in most western European countries healthcare is not so comercialised like in the USA is a great benefit. I live in the Netherlands and find life here a lot less stressful than in the USA. I have been to the States four times. A great holiday destination ( pre - Trump )
@hermanweekamp2262and we pay more taxes but thats a great trade off for more peace of mind imo. I've seen americans (in the US) criticize the wages in Europe but dont seem to understand that we dont go under when hit with health problems. The *pre-trump* had me chuckle 😅 tho i feel bad for the average american and i hope they can weather the orange storm.
The way it is arranged it a sort of silent solidarity. The healthy pay for the sick and handicapped, the young pay for the old , the workers for the unemployed. By law, no thanx, just as a right. So more security and less stress. We all pay for that out of wages and by taxes.
I wish I could say that is unusual but unfortunately, it isn't. We have such scenarios from our own lives and our loved ones.
@hermanweekamp2262 I didn't have health insurance for twenty years. It is unaffordable except to the rich and, without your employer subsidizing a portion of the cost, it's too restrictive. At our last job in the US, if we had quit and chose to continue our health insurance policy, it would have cost us $1500 a month each (with the employer, it was $150 each, so similar to here). Even with insurance, our medications and co-pays added up to $3000 a year each.
What foreigners often fail to note is that Dutch directness goes hand in hand with Dutch tolerance. Sure, the Dutch will give you their opinion straight up. But the other side of that coin is that if you give your opinion to the Dutch, they don't get offended, even if they thoroughly disagree. They'll just shrug and think: "Well, that's just your opinion, dude."
Well, it makes sense, I think. When everybody is direct, and not tolerant, it wouldn't work. We would be fighting all day, because we would be constantly offended.
You can't get any productive work done without understanding, and that certainly takes honesty! As you say, not getting offended is also key.
The Dutch directness is simply rudeness, they rarely give each other honest compliments. And Dutch "tolerance" is nothing but ignorance. The Dutch generally won't tolerate anything that bothers them or anything that is in their way.
It takes a few years living here to realise this though.
@psvenssoLooks like you're pretty direct yourself. Also a troll probably.
@psvenssoreally? Being rude would mean we're not considered, we're mean, which we're not. Ignorance? The Netherlands has one highest standards of education. So, sorry you feel this way, but it's not true!
I felt like giving you a hug when you said you couldn't "niksen" for the first few months, how stressed you must have been. Glad you're enjoying the Netherlands :) (We're Dutch but moved to Sweden a year ago, but still nice to see people talk about the country we grew up in like you're talking about it 😊)
Telling people to leave directly after dinner is considered rude behaviour, also in the Netherlands.
I think we may have missed the cue! Coffee and dessert was served, and in the US, that is when people really kick back, have a few cocktails and talk. We didn't realize that was the end of the party. Live and learn, I guess!
yes that part ,i didnt really know about ,but maybe they make it indrecy clear ,like cleaning up
@DutchLifeDiaries Yes you did :-). Asking if you want coffee or tea at the end of the dinner means "we're wrapping up".
Yes, its very rude. Normaly if you invite people for dinner you'll know that they'll be staying for a few hours after. Its the "gezelligheid" you mentioned. Its being together with familie / friends talking about everything and nothing while enjoying your drinks and little snacks. If you tell you're going home the host probably will ask; Already?
@DutchLifeDiaries My experience as a Dutchie (Brabant) is that the guests and the host will discuss beforehand how long the visit will be so everyone knows what to expect. It's efficient. :)
I'm an Australian autistic and now I know why I love the Dutch language and culture.
And want to know something else? We really like Australians! Haha, generally speaking of course but that does seem to be a thing. We often vibe with Canadians too. Still all different countries and cultures, but some just vibe together better than others, even with so much distance between us
p.s. neurodivergent one here as well^^
As a belgian, i find Dutch directness refreshing.
I love shopping in NL, everyone is friendly and polite, up for small talk.
We Belgians are more closed and hesitant.
I love Belgium. The personnel is there for you, you're not there to please the servants.
We've met may a friendly Belgian and always have a great time there! Haven't been able to go back for awhile, but we're glad to be your neighbors!
I have some Belgian colleagues, and they can sometimes find it difficult to cope with. So when we say what we think, it can sometimes be taken as a judgement, even if that's not what it is. You asked for my opinion, so you're gonna bloody get it 😄 But it's meant well, and that doesn't always arrive at the other person. Of course, it goes both ways, so I do try not to be too direct, but also not beat around bush.
@thany3
It’s true, we’re hesitant to say what we really think, not wanting to hurt the other persons feelings.
But that leads to frustration, I find it way easier to share your opinion in a respectful way.
Maar ik zou tanken in eigen land, als ik jou was ;-) . Wij komen ook gezellig bij jullie tanken. Meteen een paar pintjes mee voor thuis.
These 2 look like such great people. Good to have you here.
Thanks- you made our day!
Yes... Dutch directness... At first, when I arrived here (20 years ago), I wouldn't say it shocked me, but sometimes it made me uncomfortable. Then I realized it wasn't personal, but part of their culture, and... now... I really appreciate it. Talking with gloves here is very rare and superfluous compliments are almost non-existent. Another phenomenon here in the Netherlands is that I don't see fake "happy and smiling" faces. People here are authentic / real.
Well thank you!😊
As a boss myself, I have to sometimes remind my employees to think about their needs over the company's from time to time. We work to live, we don't live to work.
Need to come in late to bring the kids to school, because hubby is sick? Don't have to ask for my permission, just let me know so I don't worry where you are and start a searchparty to find you along the side of the road.
Het begint wel net zo te worden als Amerika.
That's great managing practice!
@bertvanvliet4841 Wij hopen van niet.
@DutchLifeDiarieslet maar goed op .
Type 'Boss' dat wil weten waarheen je rijdt met de fiets die hij je uitleent.
For me there's an aspect of 'gezellig' that is overlooked most of the time. It's the small sense of belonging, in the moment, with the people you share the (in)activity with. We all feel it, it doesn't need emphasis, it's just gezellig.
Perfect. Fleeting perfection felt and not forgotten.
Mooi gezegd. Gezellig is voor mij ook ziels- en bewustzijnsniveau (het komt van binnenuit), alle energie van mensen en omgeving (ook decor kan gezelligheid uitstralen) zit op dezelfde golflengte. Spirituele toestand zou je kunnen zeggen? Iig leuk om eens bij stil te staan.
And... In the Netherlands, people make their home gesellig for themselves. Not when visitors are expected. THAT is a huge difference
@DutchLifeDiariesyour home is your sanctuary
The whole of Scandinavia knows this feeling. I think it is called høken in Denmark. The Swedes also have a name for it.
I'm autistic as well (and ADHD). Born and raised in The Netherlands. Dutch directness really is a blessing. I'm very happy I was born here.
It's why I didn't know I was autistic for 44 years 🤣
@VincentvandenBraken I knew it for 57 years before I got the diagnose. It was a relief!
Not to mention the social safety nets are also a blessing for the neurodivergent
Austistic and moved here from another country because I fit in here better. Late diagnosis also 😂
Same here on all accounts, I lived in other countries but at the end of the day I've come to appreciate our country all the more
I get "warning" emails from my boss if I don't take enough vacation days 😆
Haha... correct... and if I do open up my work-email and respond to a client, my boss says: "you're free!! no answering emails on you off days!!!!"
You must have Dutch roots, it's really cool how you embrace and not judge our culture.
Thank you so much! Our Dutch roots are several generations back!
Great to see Americans who recognize that foreign culture might be added value, instead of sounding 'the greatest country on earth' attitude.
Thank you!
I think it's a safe guess any Americans leaving America to live somewhere else do not think America is the greatest country on earth lol
They read books
Unfortunately, for many reasons, many Americans never travel outside of the US to their detriment. Travel is just as important as formal education.
There are many Americans that know it’s not the greatest country, they just aren’t in the news. The more dysfunctional a person is, the more likely they are to be in the news. Plus, we have to travel so far to get to a country that speaks a different language unless you live on the Mexican border. Overlay your country and those bordering it on a map of the US. You will understand. Most Europeans don’t grasp how large the US is, and it explains a lot. They are afraid of being somewhere and not understanding or others not understanding when we talk. We don’t require learning another language. But our whole education system has been compromised by the ultra right to dumb down people so they are only qualified for menial jobs. It’s why the southern states recruit people from the northern states because they are better educated, even for blue collar jobs.
When the 2 of us sit on a terrace for drinks and we occupy a table for 4, and we see 2 people scanning the terrace for a table we will tell them the can sit with us if they want. It's a great way to meet people.
Yes, absolutely. No problem. And no need for conversation. But obviously, you do
We love that. We share tables and have communal tables in big cities in the US. But there and here, you'll see American tourists from smaller areas really hesitant to sit with strangers. We witnessed it at Kasteel de Haar last week. Some Americans chose to stand in the hot sun for awhile and wait for a table rather than join the communal one in the shade.
Yeah I do that too with a friend of mine; you end up having the most interesting conversations. And you can opt out at any time, because hey; we're Dutch.
I do this in Houston!!! You should see the shock on people’s faces! Some join me - some don’t! It is certainly NOT the norm in our urban areas to do this!
A former employer's mother died suddenly, and I wasn't in a hurry to go home at the time, so I stayed on for a few extra days, took on extra work, closed the doors, and so on.
A year later, my grandmother was hospitalized and kept asleep with morphine. My family and I took turns sleeping next to her. Fortunately, she passed away peacefully.
My employer never asked when I would be back, and after about a week, only my demonstration car was exchanged because it was needed for a test drive.
Three weeks later, the director welcomed me and asked if I was sure I could start yet, and everyone spared me major tasks for the first few days.
(My employer never asked if any other family members were ill or about to die.)
Thank you for sharing this. It really highlights how understanding and considerate workplaces can make a huge difference during difficult times. It’s touching to hear about the thoughtfulness your employer showed, and it’s a reminder of how much compassion matters in work-life balance.
I just shared my experiences: this is exactly what happened to me when my parents died (2008, 2018)•
My team leader never questioned nor gave a time span for me to be back• In 2018 he actually said that he didn't expect me at short noticed (my co-workers attended my mother's service)•
When family situations happen to my co-workers forcing to call them off for work, we all would take over their mailboxes immediately, and we see them whenever they are ready for it•
American here. Dutch culture sounds wonderful and very appealing. Thanks for telling us in detail about your experience of a different culture - so many Americans think if anything isn't American, it's automatically inferior. They're missing out!
Yes, that's exactly why "we"(Europeans? I don't even know, but certainly a lot of people I know!) aren't so fond of Americans. The USA tourists here are either very polite and friendly, or completely anti- social with an attitude bigger than the statue of bigotry uhm....liberty, I mean. 😂😂😂
But hardly anything in America is actually made in America so why would anyone feel that way?
Im loving the Netherlands more and more, Im dutch but grew up in Portugal (which is also a fantastic country) but as a grow older I am realising how privileged I am living here❤
I'm also autistic, and I really can't imagine myself functioning in the USA. I find it admirable that you did.
Good to see you back and thanks! It could be challenging!
As do I, I have Adhd and autism and in the States I would be living under a bridge, if at all. No joke. Video's like this one always remind me how grateful I am to be born here and not somewhere else....
on terras facing the street having a drink is "mensen kijken" :)
Ah, understood! But sometimes i sit and think of nothing and do nothing. With a beer, of course. I think of my next sip!
The holiday bonus is actually YOUR OWN MONEY… they reserve a part of your salary that get paid out once a year (generally May or June) so people will have money to actually go on a holiday. If you leave your job, your reserve holiday money is immediately paid out.
AHH, makes sense. We also didn't know it is paid out if you leave.
it is 8% or 8,33% or so on top of your gross hourly salary, it is not reserved out of your paycheck, unlike for example your workers pension percentage which is really paid by you.
@feikodelavieter7515- you better check your paycheck because it exactly mentions what is reserved from your salary.
@feikodelavieter7515no its not extra
It's 8% of your actual salary.
@jenster29 nope, it is NOT. You are paid 100%. That is shown clearly when you examine your salary slip the moment you get 8%: You get deducted for tax because it not part of your normal income.
I lost my husband eight years ago we used to go on walks with our Great Danes and then go to a little terrace with them to have a drink. I still do this with my Great Dane now and it is so nice. People come to us and have a talk, children want to pet my dog it is so lovely and peaceful.❤❤❤
We are so sorry to hear about your husband. But we are glad you have these beautiful moments with your dog and community. Dogs are great at being conversation-starters!
Heel gezellig indeed. Not even smalltalk but pure quality time. Your Dane dog is a real Dutch. 😊
Ik heb mij net geabonneerd op jullie videokanaal, beste River en Mark. Ik volg al een poosje en heb besloten om mij te abonneren. Jullie hebben het over de Nederlandse directheid.
Ik vind het leuk dat vrienden, kennissen en familie op bezoek komen met een afspraak. Gezellig, leuk en ontspannend. Als mensen onaangekondigd op bezoek komen en blijven plakken, zeg ik altijd laconiek tegen hen: "Je jas ligt al buiten..." Met andere woorden: wanneer volg jij je jas naar buiten. Groeten uit Zutphen.😇
LEUK! Je jas ligt al buiten! Dàt zal ik voortaan óók zeggen. Heel hartelijk bedankt! Hartelijke groeten vanuit de wijk Osdorp, in Amsterdam.
@demooisteNAAM Graag gedaan, de mooiste NAAM uit Osdorp. Bedankt voor je fijne reactie op opmerking. Ik wens jou een fijne dag toe vol met plezier en levensvreugde. Groeten van Lizzy😄😄
I'm a dutchman and it really suprises me that this all sounds so special to people who live in other countries. A saying in holland is that u keep ur work en ur privatelife separarted from eachother and don't take ur work at home. We are ambitious and work hard to accomplish that, but our free time is sacred and seen as our true lifes. It's not important how much money u have or how big ur car is, the only thing that matters if ur are happy with ur life and who u are. My opion is that the pressure on you to keep ur jobs and income is way to high to be happy, it gives u a lot of stress and is not healthy for ur body and mind and makes u even more less productive. It's not about working as much as u can, but feeling comfortable and happy to be more productive and creative. Status is nothing, beeing happy is everthing!!
you mean; in the Netherlands..Holland is just two provinces..
I am Dutch and you were spot on. Gezellig has the word "gezel" in it. It is an old Dutch word that has two meanings. 1. The one that is accompanying you (on a walk or travel) mostly when you are traveling alone. 2. A learner of a trade with a master is a "gezel". Just for reference and to further your Dutch cultural integration, haha.
Lol, I'm Dutch and never realized the connection between these two words.
Totally wrong in explanation. Gezel has nothing to do with ‘ gezellig ‘
Dutch explained: Een gezel (de klemtoon valt op de laatste lettergreep) was vroeger iemand die doende was een beroep te leren. Hiervan afgeleid wordt de term gezel ook nog gebruikt bij sommige beroepsopleidingen, en in een aantal meer symbolische situaties.
In brief its a learning person.
Metgezel is a person that is accompanying you a lot. Like levensgezel and vrijgezel what means he or she has no partner etc.
Gezellig is only a wordt used for a nice happy atmosphere, comfortable and plezant to be with in.
Great explanation - thank you! This is River - I would then say that Mark is my gezel.
@MonkPetite, you're mistaken. Gezel is van oorsprong de basis voor gezelschap en gezelligheid.
From Wikipedia:
Gezellig is derived from gezel, originally a person who was busy learning a profession at the guilds, a degree between student and master. During this learning phase, the gezel shared a stay with other gezellen. The word gezel is based on 'zaal' (Hall). So someone with whom one shares a house, and later someone with whom one is together. Gezelschap (Company), vrijgezel (bachelor), metgezel (companion) and levensgezel (life companion) have the same basic meaning. Gezelschap (Company) is a related word.
Gezellig is afgeleid van gezel, oorspronkelijk een persoon die bij de gilden bezig was een beroep te leren, een graad tussen leerling en meester. Tijdens deze leerfase deelde de gezel een verblijf met andere gezellen. Het woord gezel heeft als basis ‘zaal’. Dus iemand met wie men een huis deelt, en later iemand met wie men samen is. Gezelschap, vrijgezel, metgezel en levensgezel hebben dezelfde basisbetekenis. Gezelschap is een verwant woord.
The Dutch way of life seems beautiful to me! American here doing my best to find the state of relaxation & being present. Truly present. Thank you for sharing.
As a Dutch person I really enjoyed this video of your observations about Dutch (and in some cases also broader European) culture. It reminds me we have a lot to be thankful for. Especially the work-life balance! Man, I can't believe Americans put up with the toxic work culture over there in the US!
Thank you so much! Toxic work culture can become people's "normal" and then it is difficult to break out of its mindset.
Plenty of people disagree with the work culture over here but if you wanna get promoted you kinda gotta go along with it. Once you reach a certain level you can tell people to f off with contacting you on weekends and set more normal boundaries but for entry level employees you sorta just have to push through it and then hope to implement change from above once you get there.
Thank you guys! I like your video.
I'm Brazilian, married to a Dutchman, and have lived in the Netherlands for 15 years.
I completely agree with you. The Dutch mentality has also improved my life in many ways. I love the Dutch "directheid"; it makes social interaction much easier.
Of course, nothing is perfect, but even in the things I still have some difficulties with, I can understand the reasons behind them. I’m happy here.🇳🇱♥️
One of the Dutch terms I like which may reflect our culture is the word for “society”: “samenleving” which literally translates to our “together living”.
To me "society", or in Dutch "maatschappij", is a completely different mindset than "samenleving". I prefer the latter, by the way.
social and community are swear words in the usa
Goed gezegd, samenleving is absoluut een Nederlands concept
@jasperdegroodbeg to disagree. Other countries have this concept. Do not remember who said this, maybe Bernhard Hammelburg, referring to Thatcher: there is no such thing as society. Meaning: there will be no back up when you need one. And politics here adopted it: participatiemaatschappij. The UK still know benefits though.
Then, long ago i read an American article about life expectancy. It appears in some neighbourhoods or small villages ppl live longer than generally. When they researched the living conditions it appeared they were really living together, no need to keeping up with the Jones'. There was a sense of community. Most of them had recent roots in Europe.
@margreetdoodeman1441 Tell me without saying that you watched zomergasten ...
Reminds me of my American grandmother's joke: "Here's your hat. What's your hurry?" Been here 58 years years - so I wish you both many happy years in The Netherlands.
You guys did a great job sharing your experience. I’m Dutch and lived in Rhode Island for about eight years. I really loved it there, but I did miss the Netherlands. Both places had their perks, but in the end, the Netherlands looks after its people better.
Thank you so much for watching! We have spent a lot of time in Rhode Island (Mark has family there), and it is a beautiful state. Do you miss quahogs?
Great video! I’m American and have lived here for 52 years! Love the country and love Dutch directness. Most Americans now find me too direct! I married a Dutchman. Never going back to the USA.
Thank you for watching! You sound really happy here - why would you ever give that up! Yes, I've become habituated to being direct, and I have to be cognizant of it when talking to family back home.
@DutchLifeDiaries you make me conscious of what directness really is: we allways say what we think and tolerate whatever answer, and don't feel at ease when someone prevaricates (eromheen draait)
There are Dutch people who do love if Friends en Family 'just show up'. We call that 'De zoete inval'.
My grandmother loved that.
It used to be the case here, but now everyone is "busy" and has things to do. The way it's now is not always seen as better. Unexpected people coming by could be gezellig.
Het vak van niets doen is moeilijk aan te leren maar heb je het 1x onder de knie dan heb je het er de hele.dag druk mee
Of: De wind is aan
Omg yes. Oma kon je altijd binnen . Achterdeur altijd open . Pap en mam ...je hebt nooit je sleutel ingeleverd.
Thank you for this video. I once considered moving to the us, but hearing about everything that is 'normal' over there, i am glad i didn't. I am prouder than ever to be dutch.
All the best to you both🍀
Thank you so much! There are good employers in the U.S. but, without employee rights mandated nationwide, life feels like a gamble.
Funny, during my childhood a looooong time ago, the local veterinarians son was my best friend. Once he told me that his parents had guests who stayed very late. About 3 o'clock in the morning the vet was tired, and asked the guests if they would like to see his new pyjamas.
The best proof of being completely integrated is that IKEA wall behind you FULL of books!
😂
Nixen en gezellig requires, feeling social safe with each other, and for the moment nothing NEEDS to happen
Spot on. Nice to have you here guys. Enjoy life in this little patch of river deltas. 🇳🇱
Thank you! A River among river deltas! Feels right.
Niksen, makes me think of the Italian “ dolce far niente “ , the art of doing nothing 😊.
Just letting your mind wander off ,often brings insight or inspiration..
It is funny how, in our modern lives, our brains are always active but aren't actually doing much thinking!
“Gezellig” contains the word “Gezel”, that originates from the Middle Ages, meaning the other members of your Gild. It translates as “companion” or “buddy”. So it certainly has to do with being together, having a good time. 😊
Wow, that etymology definitely contexualizes the intent!
We also have the words, metgezel and levensgezel. The ones you go thru life with.
@Roeplala Don't forget "vrijgezel"! 💃🥂
❤ you guys are really very well integrated. I’ve been many times in the United States so I really understand differences, good job and enjoy
Thank you!
Most of the things that are being discussed here are contingent on having a high trust society. Your boss trusts you not to abuse sick days. They know that once you are at work, you work hard and do not laze about. Unfortunately our high trust society is starting to crack due to various pressures on our society.
Very nice to hear how you experience things. Niksen, is very much a thing we will 'do' at home. Not really just on holiday or in a bar. And when you are in a bar, on a terrace, especially with others, it is considered rude to have your phone next to you or to be on it. Funny the dinner party - I actually got this in the US, as it was a 'school' night, where I thought, we would be talking gezellig at dinner and afterwards. We will usually say in advance, so around 22:00 I'd like to go to bed. I struggled most with NE coast passive aggressiveness and them finding me assertive (direct) and felt I had to hold back. It made me feel very 'unauthentic' and I ended up moving back within two years. Thanks for making this!
What struck me is that the main goal in American life or society seems to be to work as much as possible. What you said about your employer being offended by your taking time off for vacation. Your main focus should be your work, your employer. Everything else is less important, a hindrance to your main life goal: to work as much as possible and to please your employer. Essentially one step away from being an actual slave.
Indeed, I call it: payed slavery.
You nailed it!
Exactly !
American employers act like their employees are their Slaves.
Wondering where that comes from. 😢
Hi, Jodocusonbenul, What you wrote in your last sentence was exactly what I thought.
I'm a Dutchie-Amsterdammer, living in California... For me, the 'Planning ahead' experience is different; you could always show up on a neighbor's or friend's doorstep unannounced. This is where the Dutch directness comes in: They will tell you if it is not convenient at that moment. If it is... come on in! Hardstikke leuk & Gezellig zeg. What I do love about the real 'planning ahead' aspect... You can set up an event or appointment for months down the road, put it on your calendar, no need to reconfirm, no last-minute people pulling out of a commitment. Like AMERICANS DO: ALL THE TIME!!!! Still drives me batty, and it's been forty years. ;).
Yes, Americans really have a bad habit of cancelling at the last minute depending on how they "feel."
The British have that annoying habit too, drives me nuts
You can no longer spontaneously visit a friend, or not like 40 years ago. Nowadays you really have to make an appointment ... lost a few "friendships" over this.
It's spelt hartstikke
I really want to know how you cope there. As an Amstrdammer Dutchie myself, America would absolutely drive me insane.
Watching you guys is always great fun.I think your vids make us (the Dutch) appreciate these little things more,and not take it for granted.So your learning process is good for everyone 😊(i recently subscribed to your channel)keep up the good work!
Thank you so much!
You guys were great to explain in the video. I could easely drink cup of coffee and meet and talk with you guys and having a great time time
Als Nederlander (die sinds 18 jaar in het binnenland van Spanje woont), leer ik van deze video hoe het blijkbaar in Amerika is. Weinig aantrekkelijk lijkt me. De werk ethiek in Amerika komt wel zo ongeveer overeen met die van Spanje.
Probably the biggest difference in culture and mindset between the Dutch and Americans is the following: Fitting in rather than standing out. I know Americans can be very proud of their individual achievements, and rightly so! Its a very competative enviroment over there and having succes is not easy. However in The Netherlands sharing too much about that succes is frowned upon. Its seen as bragging, like telling someone you are better than them. Doing just as well as the rest is simply good enough. So, for all Americans coming over here: If you have plenty to spend, thats great and we are happy for you, but we dont need to hear about your fancy hotel suite or the top of the line car you are driving or whatever. Because I might have a lot less to spend and that will make that conversation very awkward.
Well, what is succes?
Succes is “tevreden zijn”
@jasperdegrood Perfect answer!
When we go to The Hague, we tend to see a bit of that American showing off around the expat areas, and it really stands out to us now that we are viewing it with fresh eyes. I lived in LA briefly, and everyone there wants to know what car you drive. That is how they open up an introduction! "Hi, I'm so-and-so. Nice to meet you. How are you? [no waiting for reply] Good, glad to hear it. So what got you here? No, I mean, what are you driving?" I answered, "I'm driving my cousin's 1998 SUV. Do you need a ride home or something?"
@DutchLifeDiariesWell Dutch brag too of course, i mean its not some sort of genetic trait. But its a bit more subtle. People like to tell about how well their kids are doing in school, maybe you sold an artwork, got an article published or perhaps just met the love of your life.
"Niksen" gets closer to Zen than "gezellig".
I have a wooden bench at the end of my garden on the waterfront. I love to sit there after work, with a beer, and just watch the sun set in the evening and muse.
I let my mind go where it goes, lots of memories to reminisce about, or let my creative side come up with unexpected plans for the future.
I absolutely agree. It feels like when I used to meditate- non-judgmental presence and letting the mind go where it goes. Your spot in the garden sounds amazing!
@DutchLifeDiaries NIKSEN is relaxing, knowing and acting that you don't have to do, 'must', do anything. Just passing your time how you want to
And the particular example of 'niksen' you gave, can be specified as 'mensen kijken' (watching people).
Actual national sport, with medals and everyting
@irTaeke 😂😂
@irTaeke yes 100% going to a terras on a sunny day just watching people with a drink and some snacks is peak dutch meditation
What a neat insight into Dutch culture! It’s something that one would probably never gather from just being a tourist. I certainly appreciate your willingness to make this video and tell those of us ,who don’t live in the Netherlands, these insights!
Very nice video, thank you!
In my life people who are very close to you can show up whenever they want but others must tell that they are coming.
We Dutch don't like surprise visits. When I think about it it's mainly a matter of planning. Everyone is welcome, even without prior notice, but we like to take good care of our guests, so we always want to be able to offer them something. So, we usually do a lot of grocery shopping to ensure we have enough food and drinks for our guests. We don't like it when we can't offer people anything.
Unfortunately, the advent of smartphones and social media in the Netherlands has made it less Gezellig these days. People texting each other across the table happens here as well. And niksen is also very difficult with a device constantly demanding your attention.
Your last two points are sadly true everywhere- hopefully if we all point out these mindsets people will want to hold onto them.
Preparing in advance really helps us feel secure and frees up time.
Interesting video. I’m glad that you’re enjoying life here!
Thank you for watching!
02:54 great to see a part of my hometown in your video as well on a lovely day when the city is filled with buckets of flowers and plants everywhere to color up the grey/green city even more. And later on also the Hooglandse Kerk, Annie's Verjaardag (lekker niksen), De Burght (The kind-of-castle-settlement for which you have to go up a 50-step stairs. Back in 1574 pretty much all the residents locked themselves in there to keep the Spanish out; The city got liverated early october and it'[s still being cvelebrated every year on october 3rd.)
Thanks, this reminds me I should be niksen more 👍 I often take my phone out when I'm waiting and it doesn't add anything to my life.
I see you were in Leiden and l enjoyed that ,went to school there and lived a town over ,now 54 years in the US ,still with the Dutch mindset🤣😂
I am Dutch and on wellfare. But I am happy. Why? Well, I have a roof over my head, I am healthy, I have food in my stomach, I have friends. What else does a person need? Everything else is just decorative. We will leave it all behind when we die.
This is perfect!
@DutchLifeDiaries I respectfully disagree with you. Of course, I do not wish someone on welfare should be unhappy. But please realise, that welfare in the end is paid by the people working ("welfare" compares to "bijstand" that basically means "support"). So I believe that everyone should endeavour to support him/herself to their needs; if that is for some reason not possible, it is fully OK to live on welfare.
There is a movement in The Netherlands in favor of a "basisinkomen": everyone (regardless of social status, financial strength and ability to work) should get a basic income to be able to live on minimal standards without any questions. This must be brought up by income generated by people working, exploit an enterprise or having estate income. The forefighters for this system had the assumption that there was a natural urge to start working anyway to increase their income. Recent studies showed that this did not work out.
@HuPhiLa5816The original poster gave no indication whether working was a possibility for him/her.
@HuPhiLa5816 Well it's not my fault that I was born with a chronic illness and that everyone I loved died in the last 5 years.
I wanted to kill myself several times over the last couple of years. Also because of people who assume that I am just lazy. But I decided that I am worth a life, even if the elites disagree.
I hope you never have the life I have. And I hope you become a kinder person eventually. It is always the people who have never suffered who assume that those who do are lazy and lying.
Your salary won't increase when I die, sorry. People like you think wellfare is a honey pot, but they would go insane on wellfare. I can promise you that. I know quite a few people who have a 100 times more than I have, yet are always angry at the poor. Blaming them for not having more. And if all the poor would disappear, they would find a new group to blame.
Wellfare gives you the absolute minimum in life. If people being happy with the absolute minimum is an issue - I think that's your personal issue.
Planning ahead and not being spontaneous ringing at the door and come to visit. I think it depends on where you live in the Netherlands. We have lived in Brabant, and our neighbours would come in spontaneously.
Between families it's okay to to come and ring the doorbell and ask if it's a good time to have "een bakkie" cup of tea,coffee or something else. In our family most of the time it's okay and with some friends too.
I loved this video of you both, makes me proud to be a Dutchie. Thank you for sharing ❤
Well i live beneath Rotterdam, this is how i grew up, don't know any better, you go to your neighbor for a cup of coffee and a "kletspraatje", or you invite them when your in the mood for some socializing and small talk, just "gezellig". (if you have nice neighbors of course), but sometimes if you have bad luck.........
Love your bookshelf!
Canadian here. 👋Loving your videos. The Netherlands is at the top of places I want to visit, but this is making me want to move there. 🧡
Then start learning Dutch as soon as possible! You have to study and pass a test before you can permanently stay in The Netherlands.
The test you need to pass is called the "inburgeringstest".
It's refreshing to hear that what I take for granted, you consider special. I only miss it when it's not there. But now I can appreciate it while I'm in the thick of it, thanks to your foreign perspective. Thank you!
And it also makes me proud in a way that Dutch culture apparently understands that the only real scarcity in life is not money, but time.
And that means that relatively many people in the Netherlands are time millionaires.
Well said!
In the Netherlands, by law you have vacation and you are also paid when taking your vacation or when you’re sick.
I concur with most if not all of what you told in this wonderful video. With one addition: I suspect that the couple that told you ‘directly’ that it was time to go because they want to unwind and go to bed were probably still ‘getting to know you’? Or maybe they did not know how to get the message across in English in a nicer way. Because I myself am 100% Dutch and would not have said it that directly. But you are right in that I would have found a way to gracefully end the visit.
I think we misread the coffee and dessert “moment”- in the U.S., that is usually when you then go into the main conversation rather than signaling the end of the evening. Lost in translation moment for us!
Am Dutch living in Spain for last two decades... I like the way you share your experiences about the Dutch. Very regonisable. Enjoy your time there ! Regards from Spain
Thinking of moving to Spain (Andalusia). My gf is half Spanish. Why don't you make vids about your experiences?
I really am very glad to hear that you both are so happy here.
It is nice that you have made this website and I think it can be very usefull for many people: both Dutch and people from abroad.
And oh yeah, I really appreciate that you are trying to lear the Dutch language and culture.
I wish you both many happy years in the Netherlands❤
Thank you so much! We are so grateful for our lives here and are glad you find this channel useful!
I try to incorporate ‘niksen’ at least one day a week. It’s very healing. Keep up the video’s, the’re awesome 👍🏻
Gezellig is about allowing and putting effort into making everyone feel comfortable and equal.
Hi guys, nice video. Please be aware that Dutch directness comes in grades. If you live in Amsterdam (or the Randstad) brace for it. If you live in other parts of the country Dutch directness is less.
Interesting!
Indeed, east part is/was famous for there respect and also neighborship. Always ready and helpful for your neighbor, and parties go on forever
Agreed. Many of the things discussed in the video are Randstad things, not necessarily Dutch things. In Brabant, no one would ever tell you to leave after dinner! People from the Southern Netherlands are equally shocjee by Northern directness as most foreigners are.
@gstadstotally agree with you
Yup, can confirm as a southerner (Limburg).
On the etymology of the word in Dutch : gezellig is een samenstelling van ‘gezel’ met het achtervoegsel -ig. Een gezel was (in 1100: gesello) was een metgezel, kameraad of collega. Toen het begin 14e eeuw in onze taal opdook als gesellich, betekende het dan ook vriendschappelijk of simpelweg ‘omgaande met anderen’.
A very refreshing and open, honest talk! Funny to hear how we come accross! You're most welcome!
As a Dutchman, I am surprised that a mindset of not always working yourself to death comes as a culture shock. No wonder that Americans keep shooting and sueing each other all the time for stress relief.
Several experiments of a 4-day work week have proven that a 4-day workweek makes people more productive. Not more productive per day, but per week! It surprises me that Americans are resisting this knowledge to become happier and healthier and more productive all at the same time so fiercely.
I work full time, because I like my work, and I have almost 8 weeks of paid vacation per year, and I know multiple people who have more. I even have a minimum of three consecutive weeks that I must take any time in the year. If I fail to do so, I will get into trouble with my employer.
I am Dutch and I like to hear your thoughts about us and the Netherlands. We don't think about because that is just the way it is. Very nice that you hold a mirror.
Your explanations are spot on. So nice that you like it here and I wish you and your beautiful cat happiness here!
Are you here temporarily or "forever"?
Dank je wel! That really means a lot to us. We’re so happy to be here and hope to build a permanent life in the Netherlands and contribute positively to Dutch society. Fingers crossed the Dutch government agrees 🤞🇳🇱
Interesting to follow that proces, how it works and developes. Maybe you can share it with us?
@fern8003 We will do so!
@DutchLifeDiaries👍🏻
@fern8003 also, thanks for the shout out to our beautiful boy, Loki! He’s our little agent of chaos!
The whole notion of sick days is totally foreign to us. When you are sick, are sick so you stay home. And no one bats an eye.
Depends, with some colleagues I won’t bet an eye, with some I do..
😂 But then I was once seriously embarrassed by my own behaviour when a colleague had stayed at home sick for 3 weeks because of hay fever (hooikoorts). I only ever knew people whom sneezed a lot. Snotty nose etc. When this guy stayed away for 3 weeks I thought “what bs”.
Then when he came in on week 4, I felt sooooo ashamed for my thoughts, 😳he looked TERRIBLE! His eyes near closed puffy, snot dripping, and general sad look, all I could think was “I WAS VERY, VERY, VERY WRONG” and told him he should go home again.
And you get payed.
I used to actually feel both guilt and naughtiness when I got sick and had to call out.
@hamster4618 😂Something similar happened to me. I had an abscessed tooth, and my boss told my co-workers in a meeting that I probably had a hangover. Strange assumption since I was a hard-working single parent at the time, and rarely got a chance to go out. On the second day I called out because I still couldn't get an emergency appointment, and I had to send him a photo of half my face looking like it was about to pop to prove it.
@DutchLifeDiaries 😂
Did you notice there is often a (deeper) exhalation after one says ’gezellig’. That ‘sigh’ or ‘oh’ is to take it all in- an appreciation for the togetherness, the warmth and belonging.
My definition of gezellig: Feeling comfortable in the company of one or more people. Enjoying the moment with the people you are with and not having to put on airs, whilst having a fun time.
you don't have to sit on a terras to do niksen. You can do it at home also. There is also "rommelen" : kind of niksen, but still doing something, not so important stuf, like folding socks, changing a plants pot, or sorting out the magazines that already lay for a year next to the couch. Everything very relaxed. Good for a sunday afternoon in autumn, when the weather is grey.
mY favorite dutch word and activity is "Lanterfanten" which is sort of the same as rommelen.
Haha 'rommelen'. That's my standard reply after they ask 'How was your weekend' or "What are your plans this weekend?". 'Rommelen' covers a lot of small tasks or chores that can be considered not important enough to talk about but still necessary or maybe even pleasurable to do.
@lisac6139 YES! Rommelen, I love it! I like to see it as Samadhi (one-pointedness in buddhism). Care-free, relaxing and fun and sometimes even very productive, but not necessarily haha.
Great vid guys! What positive and pleasant mirror for us Dutchies and good on you to take our 'quirks' to enrich yourselves.
In the Netherlands (Europe in general) it is ‘ you work to live, you don’t live to work ‘.
The work/live balance in the USA feels to me it should not really include the live part….
FYI, the holiday money is deducted from your salary during the year. So your employer is sort of ‘saving’ it for you, so people can’t spend it all.
That definitely show how important holidays are to the overall health of the nation.
Welcome to the Netherlands...❤
Thank you!
I got choked up watching this because this is so affirming that the Netherlands is where I want to be. My partner and I have been talking about moving out of the US in a few years. We want to go somewhere we can feel more relaxed and there's more community. When we visited the Netherlands and connected with friends last summer it felt like home in a way hard to describe. Professionally I need to learn Dutch to continue in healthcare there. I've just started learning in the last couple weeks. It's gonna take dedication. Watching this gives me motivation to practice as I align more with this lifestyle and mindset.
We started with DuoLingo while still in the States. We got to an A1-A2 level by the time we got here and it really helped. You might also want to check out the channel, Daring to Go Dutch. She is in healthcare and had to learn healthcare-based Dutch to continue here. She has some videos about her language journey specifically for that field.
just some funny things we have that are less direct and a little more subtle.
On wedding receptions or condolances after a funaral there is something called (pardon my french) "oprotkoffie" or in English "Kickoutcoffee" so during the reception drinks and small snacks are served but when the planned time of the reception closed. The venue will start serving coffee often with some cake to everyone in the room. That is the sign for all guests to drink their coffee or finish the drink they have and start leaving.
In Europe it's all about empathy (social coherence) and in the US about the lack thereof. Empathy is considered a weakness in the US.
You nailed it!
To be honest, as a Dutch person, I feel like we are very individualistic and there are lots of branches of work where they expect you to spend time on work outside of working hours (like admin, preparations, questions/email, presentations etc, *ahem, healthcare*). And people really aren't that social anymore. Everybody is on their phone on the train. Kids are on their phone in between classes. Even at the doctors appointment people'll grab their phone to scroll a little while the doctor's typing out two more sentences before asking the next question. I'm flattered you guys think positively about us, but it feels somewhat framed to make it seem like everything is sunshine and roses.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. We definitely don’t want to give the impression that everything is perfect or that all people and experiences are the same. From our experience, there are wonderful aspects of Dutch life, but like anywhere, there are also challenges, especially with work-life balance and the impact of technology on social interactions. Perhaps highlighting these virtues will show why they are important enough to fight to retain.
It was not like people were talking to each other on the train or at the doctor's before there were cell phones. Everyone was reading one of those free newspapers or just staring out the window. When I'm at the doctor's there are mostly elderly people there, not on their phones, but not talking to each other either. It's super awkward to talk to people at the doctor's. If you do, you have to talk about the reason you are there, and very often you don't want to. That wasn't any different in the past. You respect other people's privacy at the doctor's by not engaging in small talk.
@anniehope8651 I agree that it's weird to talk in the waiting room, but that's not quite what I meant. I work in healthcare and see people while they are speaking with the doctor, and even then they often whip out their phone when there's a moment of silence. It's become a subconscious reflex to grab your phone whenever you're not actively doing something.
As an American that has spent a decent amount of time in the Netherlands and is moving there soon I agree that there isn't none of this in the Netherlands (and I don't think the video was trying to say that) but compared to American culture it is much less. It exists, but it isn't a cultural habit the way overwork is in the US for example. In the US it really is the default expectation form almost ever job that you work (without pay) outside of your regular work hours and that you be available 24/7. While I've certainly met Dutch people who work outside of their typical hours this seems generally reserved only for certain industries or certain types of people.
@SCkite Yeah, that's wild. The work-life balance is definitely not that much out of balance here, just in certain areas of work.
what most foreighners miss on gezeligheid is also the athomspheer your surrounding is.
the way you make your house feel warm and welcome becouse the way your interiour looks like. (as far as i can se your living room is)
but also a restaurant or cafe geefs out a warm welcoming feeleng even when there are heardly any people inside.
and even outdoo rseating can feel gezellig with nice forniture flowers on the table etc.
so it is more than just having a good time with friends or family bur also your surrounding can give that cosy athmosfeer.
in the netherlands it is often frowned upon or sometimes forbiden to go into a cafe, open you laptop and work.
cafe's are social places were you engage with other people, weather that are people whit who wou are or other people at the cafe.
and closing yourself off behind a laptop in often not apriciated.
it is even better to go "niksen" than open up a laptop becouse that makes you unaprocheble.
legaly in the netherlands your boss is not alowed to ask what you've got when you report in sick.
that is part of privacy laws.
in the netherlands everyone has legaly the right to thake three weeks in a row off once a year so peolple go on theire vacation.
More that three weeks it can get refused, but when taking vacation time off has to be agreed by both parties so not everyone in the compagnie takes vakation at the samen time but the majority takes it during the summer.
since 2013 municepality's can diside if shops are alowed to be open on sundays.
before that is was national law and shops could only open a certen times a year onb a sunday.
now most municepelitys let shops be open 7 days a week but ceveral do not.
And working outside office hours must be paid extra. Depending on your Cao.
Thanks so much for this detailed explanation! You’re right-gezelligheid is really about more than just people; the atmosphere of a home, café, or even outdoor seating makes a big difference - and without competition/showing off. We’ve noticed that too, and it’s fascinating how cultural norms around work, vacation, and privacy support that cozy, approachable vibe.
First time we saw a Dutch cafe was in Maastricht (in Winter), and they had cozy blankets on each seat. We were actually surprised by this because it isn't done in the US. In the US, those blankets would be stolen.
Very good video, and nice to hear the good stuff. I think the planning ahead of visiting would likely be more a city life thing. If you go living in the country side ("het platteland") like Zeeland (where I grew up) or Brabant , things can be quite different. People in small communities are more used to big families and people just coming over on very short notice or just happening to drop by, walking in through the (unlocked) backdoor shouting "Volluk!". A whole different world from living in the big city :-D.
I’m happy for you guys to be in The NL and to feel happy. Makes me appreciate my country more! Best of luck!
Welcome to the Netherlands
The Dutch take most decisions by consensus. So a lot of talking is involved to get to the point of consensus.
And you need directness, otherwise it will be difficult to reach a decision.
One of the most important things Dutch children learn at home and at school is to express themselves.
We oldies (I am 67) didn't learn that at school! 😂
@ankavoskuilen1725 no, we didn’t. But the kids nowadays do. You probably know that according to UNICEF the Dutch children are the happiest in the world. One of the reasons they mentioned was this.
@jannetteberends8730 I know I wish I could have raised my child here. Watching the kids here, it reminds me of my upbringing in the 1970s - more freedom to explore and play, more being allowed to be a kid.
Het welbekende polderen.....we even have a word for that proces of making decisions by consensus and that is Polderen.
making decisions by consensus is ingrained in our culture. Dutch start making polders rom the early middle ages. If you live in a polder you have to make decisions by consensus, you have to pump the water out together, otherwise you feet get wet.
wow, as a Dutchman I think you hit the nails right on their heads and I'm sure you figured out how to translate "gezellig" as well. I never thought about it, but it sounds all very clear and right to me. A good analysis video!
Thank you so much! It is a difficult thing to explain for something you just have to feel.
"niksen" is like fishing at the waterfront without fishing gear,
or looking out the window at a tree only absorbing the sounds of the city. 😊
Great video!
I love niksen and the honest clarity of the Dutch. Thank you for the video. ❤