Your talk about not being welcome in female only spaces despite still possessing the same life history that you did at the time when you were welcome in those spaces resonates with me. While thus far I don’t really desire specific female only spaces, I feel this often in conversation and social situations. When I engage in conversation about gender, feminism and/or its intersections with sexuality, I often feel invalidated or judged for speaking.
i think age is huge for transmen like us who transition in our 30s. i'm in a place where i'm seeking out individuals who i believe could work together as a community. i had the "i'm a different kind of person" among women experiences too & am very much male identified now. i was fortunately able to go through the grief process of my child not being my bio child rather quickly, probably b/c of 2 weeks in the NICU & my focus on my child & wife. it'll be even better when we move i hope.
i hope, too, that my trans discontent, as i call it, works its way down over time to the occasional itch, not something that bothers me every day or that much. but who knows. i became fully aware of being trans while living in jerusalem for 14 months. it's VERY sex/gender segregated there. i refused to ever go to a segregated spiritual space while there, as did many cisgender folks in my community who based it more on sexism/misogyny whereas i saw that & the whole i'm not like any of you thing.
(cont) It is as if my male identity (combined with hormones, as it wasn’t an issue prior to that) negates my ability to engage critically with gender. Conversations about the oppression of gender are marked as a female only space that I’m not longer invited to despite still possessing the history of identifying as, or being perceived as female, for the majority of my life.
I'm going to be honest here. I think a lot of you dwell on gender more than the average person. I think most people really don't even stop to think about their gender all that often, as most don't have any conflicts with it. I would not worry about fitting into groups you don't feel you will ever fit into because there are always groups you do fit into. Be a person first, have a gender second.
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Your talk about not being welcome in female only spaces despite still possessing the same life history that you did at the time when you were welcome in those spaces resonates with me. While thus far I don’t really desire specific female only spaces, I feel this often in conversation and social situations. When I engage in conversation about gender, feminism and/or its intersections with sexuality, I often feel invalidated or judged for speaking.
i think age is huge for transmen like us who transition in our 30s. i'm in a place where i'm seeking out individuals who i believe could work together as a community. i had the "i'm a different kind of person" among women experiences too & am very much male identified now. i was fortunately able to go through the grief process of my child not being my bio child rather quickly, probably b/c of 2 weeks in the NICU & my focus on my child & wife. it'll be even better when we move i hope.
i hope, too, that my trans discontent, as i call it, works its way down over time to the occasional itch, not something that bothers me every day or that much. but who knows. i became fully aware of being trans while living in jerusalem for 14 months. it's VERY sex/gender segregated there. i refused to ever go to a segregated spiritual space while there, as did many cisgender folks in my community who based it more on sexism/misogyny whereas i saw that & the whole i'm not like any of you thing.
(cont) It is as if my male identity (combined with hormones, as it wasn’t an issue prior to that) negates my ability to engage critically with gender. Conversations about the oppression of gender are marked as a female only space that I’m not longer invited to despite still possessing the history of identifying as, or being perceived as female, for the majority of my life.
I'm going to be honest here. I think a lot of you dwell on gender more than the average person. I think most people really don't even stop to think about their gender all that often, as most don't have any conflicts with it. I would not worry about fitting into groups you don't feel you will ever fit into because there are always groups you do fit into. Be a person first, have a gender second.