CONSPIRACIES REVEALED TO THE PRESIDENT

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  • Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
  • Flat Earth... is actually flat
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Комментарии • 654

  • @zacadams8263
    @zacadams8263 Год назад +495

    That "phuck!" never gets old.

    • @hdguy5
      @hdguy5 Год назад +8

      Lol NEVER dude! 😂

    • @CRWeaventure
      @CRWeaventure Год назад +4

      And the face where he’s like 🙀

    • @Mysterey101
      @Mysterey101 Год назад +3

      I miss it tbh, not as common as it was-

    • @sammoon7897
      @sammoon7897 Год назад +1

      How awesome would it be realising that "FUCK" is literally your catch phrase

    • @SJ-cy3hp
      @SJ-cy3hp 4 месяца назад

      Sounds more like Phuck! And it’s hilarious 🤣

  • @robhartle1849
    @robhartle1849 Год назад +3819

    "These secrets aren't tops, they're all bottoms" lmao 💀

    • @SaltStorm007
      @SaltStorm007 Год назад +36

      He never fail to make me laugh💯😂Andrew is freaking HILARIOUS!!

    • @vjcodec
      @vjcodec Год назад +42

      this information is bottom secret. Doesn't flow as nice as top!

    • @Courtj3st3r33
      @Courtj3st3r33 Год назад +39

      Yep, can't unheard that. For the rest of my life when I hear top secret I'm going to giggle and think bottom.

    • @aleph0540
      @aleph0540 Год назад +12

      That one got me, still chuckling about it.

    • @kannonsircy7748
      @kannonsircy7748 Год назад +25

      These secrets are switches AT BEST.

  • @leodrews3128
    @leodrews3128 Год назад +59

    "these secrets aren't top they're bottom." Comedy gold right here

  • @Saulgoodmane
    @Saulgoodmane Год назад +59

    Bruh honestly it was subtle but that “what’s 5g” and the reaction was literally one of the best jokes I’ve ever heard 😂😂😂 this man is a comedic genius!

  • @asheleydavies
    @asheleydavies Год назад +14

    These secrets ain't tops... they're bottoms.🤣🤣

  • @fujiwxrx32
    @fujiwxrx32 Год назад +8

    "The possibility of these extraterrestrial entities being among us"

  • @thinkofsomethingcooler
    @thinkofsomethingcooler Год назад +7

    I think the funniest part was that the keeper of the secrets actually had to *read* those “secrets” and refer to the file. As if he couldn’t just memorize those! Lol

  • @justsomenobody889
    @justsomenobody889 Год назад +3

    The WAY that Andrew SHAPES his MOUTH when the guy first brings up ALIENS at 1:55 fuckin KILLS me 🤣

  • @Crushanator1
    @Crushanator1 Год назад +1

    "I know their spaceship technology is gravitational, but do they exist" low key hilarious

  • @BradAhrens
    @BradAhrens Год назад +20

    Careful, Andrew. Your knowledge is a bit too on the nose, here. You don't wanna end up on a list.

  • @alessandrozuffi5068
    @alessandrozuffi5068 Год назад +1

    "They're all bottoms" oh my god, ahahah, I can't take it

  • @cogsworther1639
    @cogsworther1639 Год назад +1

    "I thought you had access to secret knowledge or something!:
    "What detail of current events would make you think that anyone in power had any idea what they were doing?"

  • @kriza891
    @kriza891 Год назад +4

    At least they dont suspect that moon is made of cheese.

  • @StaccatoRedFox
    @StaccatoRedFox Месяц назад

    Why would they keep telling “The New Guy” all the lifelong secrets every 4-8 years.

  • @FlyingDominion
    @FlyingDominion Год назад +1

    "Aliens..."
    Me: "Are coming in from Mexico!"

  • @gabry2558
    @gabry2558 Год назад +1

    wow sneaking in among us jokes too around the 2:00 mark, with the aliens being "suspicious", super good content

  • @thoughtdamage2554
    @thoughtdamage2554 Год назад +3

    Very Ancient, Very Mature, Very...Long 😭

  • @thisguy7976
    @thisguy7976 Год назад

    "FOH!" is the reason I keep coming back.

  • @SaltStorm007
    @SaltStorm007 Год назад +14

    LOVE GETTING AN ANDREW NOTIFICATION 💯THEY MAKE MY DAY!!

  • @johnsnow1749
    @johnsnow1749 Год назад +2

    Closer to the truth than people think.

  • @STRZB001
    @STRZB001 Год назад

    “These ain’t tops, they all bottoms.” Hahahahah

  • @whittenaw
    @whittenaw Год назад +1

    They aint gonna reveal secrets to the president lol. He's only gonna be in there 8 years tops, four years i wouldn't tell him almost anything. 😂😂😂

  • @LevCallahan
    @LevCallahan Год назад

    *Playboy bunnies describing Hugh in bed*
    "Very ancient, very mature... very long.."

  • @dontresuscitate
    @dontresuscitate Год назад +8

    Thanks for the consistently great content!

  • @JVDV11
    @JVDV11 Год назад

    "Very ancient, very mah-tour" 🤣

  • @XxXVideoVeiwerXxX
    @XxXVideoVeiwerXxX Год назад

    This like a boomer bureaucrat report of what was surveyed on the internet, 20 years ago

  • @greedy_arts3807
    @greedy_arts3807 Год назад +2

    You know another secret?..I hate sweet tea..and I'm African American :0

  • @noah2123
    @noah2123 Год назад

    That very somber and serious *MOTHER OF GOD* gets me every time

  • @ocelots200
    @ocelots200 Год назад +11

    Love your content you deserve way more subs

  • @ayushdebbarma7585
    @ayushdebbarma7585 Год назад

    "Matoore" Killed me

  • @bigboibebop
    @bigboibebop Год назад

    Damnit, this makes me so angry. They need someone like me up there. Surely, I’ll be different. My ambition is completely different! My self awareness means I’ll fight for the people! I’ll be a great politician!

  • @Tekkenandgaming
    @Tekkenandgaming Год назад +3

    Yeah as president I can relate

  • @FruitfulPerspectives
    @FruitfulPerspectives Год назад

    So…Aliens?
    Nice echo of the classic meme 😂

  • @G_Claified
    @G_Claified Год назад

    If it makes TOO much sense...wait, this is the US Government.

  • @mistr_potet0s984
    @mistr_potet0s984 Год назад +12

    Great video ! I enjoyed it as every video you make. Keep going you’re perfect 😂

  • @sabru72
    @sabru72 Год назад

    "What's 5G?"
    "Phuck!"

  • @_Jai_
    @_Jai_ Год назад

    “That one keeps me up at night.” 😂

  • @chriswahl1337
    @chriswahl1337 Год назад

    "*quote from the video*" 🤣

  • @sweetbluealien
    @sweetbluealien Год назад

    "I hate you..." 😂😂😂

  • @maximeaelita4039
    @maximeaelita4039 Год назад

    What’s 5G I lost it please why us this guy so good 😂😂😂😂

  • @anonnomous6223
    @anonnomous6223 Год назад

    the navy has over 200 recorded ufo sightings... like cmon bruh how is it even a question

  • @T4ZSK1
    @T4ZSK1 Год назад

    "Very ancient... very ma-tour..."

  • @waterlilynymph
    @waterlilynymph Год назад

    Some things will always remain a mystery even to the people at the top 😂

  • @oopsdoor4285
    @oopsdoor4285 Год назад +1

    Even better if he mentioned an actual secret offhand not even paying attention and the guy was like what was the last part you said

  • @siafu13
    @siafu13 Год назад

    Some of those pages stuck together 💀

  • @iowadrummer7
    @iowadrummer7 Год назад

    Too good for SNL.

  • @Delphic_Wendigo
    @Delphic_Wendigo 11 месяцев назад

    The one conspiracy theory that sucks is that there are no big secrets :/

  • @z0uLess
    @z0uLess Год назад

    but they still wont give me a job

  • @IamLegendAnon
    @IamLegendAnon Год назад

    How is his PHUCK so perfect every time? I have to learn how to do that

  • @cwdgamedev822
    @cwdgamedev822 Год назад

    Damn... Hope Andrew doesn't get cancelled for this

  • @leveticus5721
    @leveticus5721 Год назад

    *The Why Files* gonna have to tell this dude to stay in his swimlane…

  • @blue7lvn245
    @blue7lvn245 Год назад

    Americans should really look into Tower 7

  • @RyanVJones
    @RyanVJones Год назад

    And that’s the T

  • @vincedurden6446
    @vincedurden6446 Год назад

    1. Israel
    2. Israel
    3. We have not made contact but they probably exist.

  • @dh1380
    @dh1380 Год назад

    Very close to the truth

  • @WaterStyleNEO
    @WaterStyleNEO Год назад +1

    Wheres timmy

  • @larryargent503
    @larryargent503 7 месяцев назад

    It was all funny. IDK but the Lets take a gander line just creased me. How are you not the guy writing comedy for streaming services?! Netflix better start throwing copious amounts of money at you. 😅

  • @petcopaul
    @petcopaul Год назад +2723

    Anyone who's ever worked with a government agency knows this is exactly how it is

    • @maddogbasil
      @maddogbasil Год назад +100

      Wonder what happened to jfk
      They tell us every year they'll show the papers
      They never do

    • @sccello
      @sccello Год назад +54

      Anyone with a clearance, too.

    • @CloneSeizure
      @CloneSeizure Год назад +2

      It's true, they're all very dumb.

    • @ChrisChaquay
      @ChrisChaquay Год назад +16

      That's what you want us to think.

    • @RevCQ7
      @RevCQ7 Год назад +28

      Oh so they lie to you, too. Good to know.

  • @dimmyfiend6233
    @dimmyfiend6233 Год назад +1481

    Out of the thousands of theories we have, this is probably the most accurate of the truth.

    • @UnarmedBastard
      @UnarmedBastard Год назад +14

      I really don't think so, but it's funny regardless.

    • @maddogbasil
      @maddogbasil Год назад +51

      Tbh most conspiracy are just garbage
      With like several legit ones being overshadowed

    • @yoyo21926
      @yoyo21926 Год назад

      @@UnarmedBastard its probably true. only the top top know whats going on. presidents are just puppets.

    • @Bandicoot82
      @Bandicoot82 Год назад +32

      @@maddogbasil Good. The plan is working.

    • @JustAnotherAccount8
      @JustAnotherAccount8 Год назад +25

      @@cadmus204 Good. The plan to make you think the plan to make you think that the plan is working is also working.

  • @PapaWolfDogZeus
    @PapaWolfDogZeus Год назад +167

    "Even the people at the top are very dumb" words to live by

    • @davidwuhrer6704
      @davidwuhrer6704 Год назад +7

      More so than most. Power means not having to care or understand.

  • @saitamaopm7865
    @saitamaopm7865 Год назад +990

    As a retired official of the United States intelligence agency, this is very accurate, almost to a disturbing level

  • @raeldri5867
    @raeldri5867 Год назад +764

    This is my biggest fear actually, there is no big badie or a secret organisation running the world with 4D chess moves and in reality is just a bunch of coincidences and a lot of idiots doing the best they can

    • @Needler13
      @Needler13 Год назад

      Well your fear is the fucking reality. It's just stupid people fucking up, there is no big mystery.

    • @a.9913
      @a.9913 Год назад +140

      Thats how it be unfortunately

    • @mikoajpietrych6168
      @mikoajpietrych6168 Год назад +68

      the best they can is really a longshot

    • @josephsiriani1597
      @josephsiriani1597 Год назад +66

      Oh, it's 4D chess alright. It's just that the 4D chess stuff is all really really grindy math stats and taxes and stuff. Boredom is the nature of the board, you see, in that the details are slogs and the theories high-speed rails through bogland. You need to construct the tracks for the high-speed maglev trains first though and that's super boring.

    • @DBArtsCreators
      @DBArtsCreators Год назад

      Your biggest fear is the reality. Worse, even, because all the idiots THINK they are playing 4D chess and running big secret organizations, but in reality they are all snorting glue sticks and getting high on their own farts.
      Maybe a handful at the top are aware enough to direct everyone else, but at that point it's a handful of boats trying to steer the ocean during an unending tsunami.

  • @Haterator
    @Haterator Год назад +269

    Security Officer: "Genders..."
    President: "OH MY GAWD!"

    • @TalynStormcrow
      @TalynStormcrow Год назад +28

      "We think they're based on cultural norms. It's like, emergent."

    • @Ranstone
      @Ranstone Год назад +26

      "Both of them..."

    • @miles7112
      @miles7112 Год назад

      @@TalynStormcrow Gender is as stupid a concept as the soul. What, there's this invisible thing in the air that determines how you act? The only part of gender that matters is how you reproduce.

    • @viggiomorgenstein5913
      @viggiomorgenstein5913 Год назад +17

      @@TalynStormcrow very eerie...very distressing...

  • @SlumberBear2k
    @SlumberBear2k Год назад +54

    "some of the pages stuck together?" lol This is exactly how my life feels. like "is that it?"

  • @eleanorrigby7897
    @eleanorrigby7897 Год назад +669

    One of the most creative, original content creators in the current ocean of schlong wangling thirst traps. Sir, you have my respect, and you shall have my botto-

    • @maddogbasil
      @maddogbasil Год назад +6

      Tom....
      Your welcome finished it for you

    • @eleanorrigby7897
      @eleanorrigby7897 Год назад +5

      @@maddogbasil ✨✨🍑✨✨

    • @JOHNNYD.R
      @JOHNNYD.R Год назад +3

      What about me bro

    • @eleanorrigby7897
      @eleanorrigby7897 Год назад +6

      @@JOHNNYD.R alright, I'll let you have a go if you're into guys 👁️👅👁️

    • @JOHNNYD.R
      @JOHNNYD.R Год назад +4

      @@eleanorrigby7897 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @SaltStorm007
    @SaltStorm007 Год назад +393

    Here’s a tip for all the laughs you have given me💯😂YOU HAVE NEVER FAILED TO MAKE ME LAUGH, ANDREW! Hope you and everyone watching has a WONDERFUL week/weekend💯🙏Thanks for everything, Andrew.....YOU ROCK BRO!!

    • @zacadams8263
      @zacadams8263 Год назад +11

      Respect, my friend. "THIS IS THE WAY".
      Tipping "creators" who put hours of energy and creative thought that requires ACTUAL TALENT and ORIGINALITY... and not OnlyFans models taking nudes for 45 minutes once a week - then drinking iced vanilla lattes and sitting by the pool all day for the rest of the week. And don't get me started on the majority of Twitch streamers. Probably going to get hate for this on some - "trying to be intellectual woke sh💩" but I shall endure.

    • @maddogbasil
      @maddogbasil Год назад +4

      Nice
      My broke ass has about 2 cents and a nickel in my pocket
      Any way I can get this to you andrew

    • @zacadams8263
      @zacadams8263 Год назад +3

      @@maddogbasil Andrews cool and a realist. I don't think he'd want his fans to give what they don't have. I just tip occasionally a couple dollars like @SaltStorm007 just for the appreciation for the level of effort, time, and creative energy required to think out this quality of original content. 💙🤘

    • @SaltStorm007
      @SaltStorm007 Год назад +2

      @@zacadams8263 You are 1000% CORRECT, SIR💯That is EXACTLY how I feel....to a ‘T’! I wish more people would throw a few SuperThank$ out to content creators they enjoy. Hope you and yours have a WONDERFUL week/weekend, Zac💯🙏

    • @SaltStorm007
      @SaltStorm007 Год назад +4

      @@maddogbasil Even if you can’t toss any SuperThank$ to content creators you can always do the next best thing and watch the commercials and click the links to them which helps them get more $ from Ads....along with liking, subscribing and commenting on the videos💯Hope you and yours have a WONDERFUL week/weekend, Basil💯🙏

  • @TheStrGzr-zq1qq
    @TheStrGzr-zq1qq Год назад +36

    Them admitting that the people at the top are very dumb is the biggest secret revealed .. cause it's very, very true lmao

    • @ludvig3242
      @ludvig3242 7 месяцев назад +1

      The joke is that there isn't some grand conspiracy. Just humans being humans.

  • @keros101
    @keros101 Год назад +666

    As a Political Science college graduate with a fiancé that has a Master's degree National Security I can confirm that this is indeed, the most accurate state of intelligence in the Executive Branch.
    Maybe with a little bit more [REDACTED].

    • @maddogbasil
      @maddogbasil Год назад +7

      I'm guessing you guys search up alot more redacted shit every year
      What are you guys missing scooby doo
      At some point someone's gotta solve the mystery

    • @NRG56
      @NRG56 Год назад +13

      Awww she thinks she's on the totem pole lmaooo

    • @evilduckthe3rd297
      @evilduckthe3rd297 Год назад +24

      @@NRG56 awww do u feel undermined by someone else’s intelligence it must be so exhausting being so toxic

    • @NRG56
      @NRG56 Год назад +11

      @@evilduckthe3rd297 it truly is but agitating people makes it all worth it

    • @alanlight2715
      @alanlight2715 Год назад +7

      @@NRG56 Seek professional help. Just a bit of advice not an attack.

  • @lunadinhe5475
    @lunadinhe5475 Год назад +18

    Highest national security (Xbox party chats.)

  • @shiv421kobra
    @shiv421kobra Год назад +20

    The scariest secret in the world is that even the people who are supposed to know whats going on have 0 clue what the fuck is going on.

  • @Joe1887
    @Joe1887 Год назад +27

    Those feels when you're the leader of the free world, but you get clickbaited by your own staff. That's tough.

    • @j03150315
      @j03150315 Месяц назад

      how can this comment not get more likes???? 😂

  • @KitsuneFyora
    @KitsuneFyora Год назад +24

    To be honest, this is probably how most of these secrets are debriefed cuz they don't know either. But they're trying!

  • @Zii_Vii
    @Zii_Vii Год назад +28

    "Very ancient... Very mature... Very long..." Bro seen his grandpa in the shower on accident when he was a kid and it scared him for life... poor guy

  • @BrazenLunatic
    @BrazenLunatic Год назад +59

    This man does it all the time
    I love it!

  • @markluster1910
    @markluster1910 Год назад +14

    “what’s 5G?” had me dying!

  • @j_viking3268
    @j_viking3268 Год назад +10

    "These secrets ain't tops. They all bottoms" YOOOOOO I AM ROLLING

  • @asdfasdf6606
    @asdfasdf6606 Год назад +41

    I can't not laugh at absolutely everything Andrew does. This is one of my favorite content creators ever. His humor gets me and his facial expressions make me lose it every time. Whenever he does that fuckin wiggle LMFAO idk why 1:46

  • @amarachukwupatrick6595
    @amarachukwupatrick6595 Год назад +15

    😂I expected it to be dumb secrets but not that dumb and it's still freaking funny 😂
    But yo why did Room 7 burn down? Very strange

  • @AD-eg9cw
    @AD-eg9cw Год назад +23

    I want this guy to be even more successful, but I also don't because I don't want him to stop making these.

  • @thearcan
    @thearcan Год назад +30

    You never fail to make me laugh and that in itself is worth a lot. Thanks for doing what you do Andrew - Just make sure to not let your channel and your vids become a burden or stressful to yourself. Make sure to take care of yourself first and foremost and keep doing what you're doing out of your own enjoyment, not out of obligation to anyone (including subs or donators)!

  • @sylvester5857
    @sylvester5857 Год назад +9

    “And that’s just it, the concept of aliens” 😂

  • @insignificantaftermathPROJECTS
    @insignificantaftermathPROJECTS Год назад +9

    As an alien, this is extremely accurate and I shall be taking this data with me back to my home planet who are in the middle of phase 6 of our imminent invasion... I mean.. bbq. Yes. A BBQ...

  • @overlordkgk
    @overlordkgk Год назад +11

    As someone who has worked with all levels of security. Yep. 10/10. Everyone be incompetent unless there's profit in there somewhere.

  • @FR4M3Sharma
    @FR4M3Sharma Год назад +51

    Man, I can't even comprehend how long it takes him to edit these. Holy Shit.

    • @maddogbasil
      @maddogbasil Год назад +10

      Some people are just born with it
      He has the ability to sit in a quiet room with himself making silly commentary...alone
      For our amusement

    • @Guaguadeath
      @Guaguadeath Год назад +2

      Just like long beach Griffy and Caleb city. It's the same style

  • @snowleopard2288
    @snowleopard2288 Год назад +7

    I’m so happy he’s bringing the PHUCK back 😂😂

  • @ye5600
    @ye5600 Год назад +4

    "What's 5g"?

  • @piotr3814
    @piotr3814 Год назад +6

    I finally found out what happened to JFK, thank you very much Sir.

  • @Denys2703
    @Denys2703 Год назад +16

    The funniest Andrew on RUclips 😂😂

    • @maddogbasil
      @maddogbasil Год назад +3

      But not the most based
      That unfortunately goes to the top g

  • @NamelessProof
    @NamelessProof Год назад +7

    I'm curious about just how much is kept secret from even the president

  • @Mike-my7uf
    @Mike-my7uf Год назад +13

    Man! You kill it every...single...time! Well done!

  • @melvinfernandez7174
    @melvinfernandez7174 Год назад +4

    "Be strong sir" hahahaha.. imagine top secret files are being discussed and can easily be heard in the other room...

  • @Atlas_B170
    @Atlas_B170 Месяц назад +2

    This video got hit with the "Flat Earth" Wikipedia page context panel
    💀💀💀

  • @carolyntalbot947
    @carolyntalbot947 Год назад +2

    Remember when you were a kid, and you thought adults knew and understood everything? Remember how you couldn't wait to grow up?
    Well--here you are. How is it?

  • @Yarch0Unfire
    @Yarch0Unfire Год назад +10

    Great vid Daddy

  • @RIPhikennoace
    @RIPhikennoace Год назад +4

    Movies make the government a lot more exciting than it actually is.

  • @jaymay7957
    @jaymay7957 Год назад +3

    “Sometimes the biggest burden is knowing that, even the people at the top, are dumb”
    That is a great line

  • @maddogbasil
    @maddogbasil Год назад +4

    *"Mr president....they said the twins are down"*
    Bush:
    *"Well shieet...get cheney on the phone...tell him doublya (w) called...WE GOT OIL BABY"*

  • @applepulse
    @applepulse Год назад +3

    Andrew im in sad time....
    Thank your for your awesome videos...

  • @allofthepoints9636
    @allofthepoints9636 Год назад +6

    This is why we need Nic Cage to tell us about the secrets

  • @aaronk8440
    @aaronk8440 Год назад +4

    “The concept of aliens…” 😂