As a combat medic from the United States military from the second gulf war suffering with deep survivors guilt. This song resonates with me on a fundamental level. After watching so many young many young men and women die in my arms and ask the question how did I make it out. And it's affected my relationships for so long. When they ask about it I get guarded and, in all honesty, cruel. To hear someone yell at the top of their lungs what I want to feel is aspirational. I've abused substances, I've abused people, and I've abused myself. But this it gives a reason to actually engage in the therapy I've been in for years, but never had the courage to open up to. This is a turning point. This is a celebration song.
"God knows I’ve more than paid my dues For all the months that I didn’t want to live through. The sleepless nights, the bloodshot eyes, This blissful pain contextualized. I went to deaths door, He let me inside, But for all my want, He couldn’t look me in the eyes." That is a remarkably powerful way to phrase that. Felt that in the core.
This song hurts. But the final message is "never lose hope. Even if I was close to death I'm here... And I'M ALIVE". Thank you for this little masterpiece. Today you helped me to Celebrate Life❤️
No song has ever spoken to me like this one. Fuck this felt so good to have words I could never speak sang so beautifully. Who's crying at the concert with me when this plays?
i knew when hearing the preview of this song it was instantly going to become one of my favourites, but it honestly doesn't sound the same without awake before it. glad this video includes awake. masterpiece. not just this, but the whole album
These guys continue to produce music that truly touches my heart and soul….they can get the biggest smile or the ugliest crying out of me…and I’m thankful for that…..I’m alive 🖤
Dude, I was at the Electric Callboy concert yesterday in cologne and Holding Absence together with Future palace were openers. Never heard of those guys before but when they played this song I got instant goosebumps and they immediately won me over. This track is nuts
This song never fails to elicit an emotional response from me. This time around, I started crying during the intro 😅 I think part of why this song means so much to me is because there are so many times I've thought about 'ending it all,' and there have been more times than I think most people would like to admit, when I've tried to end it all. I just have a lot of trauma and have dealt with quite a bit of anxiety, depression, exhaustion, and struggles because of the trauma.... just like Lucas says, "I've been so hurt for so long." There are so many times that I truly thought that that's what I wanted, was to not be alive anymore. The first time I finally felt differently, it was such a breath of fresh air. That's not to say that I don't have tough days anymore, because I still struggle everyday. But daily, I also try to remember to stay grateful and to remind myself that "I'M ALIVE!" and how much of a gift that truly is. I feel this song on so many levels and it's honestly (and it always will be) one of the greatest, most beautiful songs that I've ever heard (and will ever hear). Thank you Lucas, Ashley, Benjamin, and Scott for this song / for playing it, when you do!! It is such a life-changing gift.
when i left my grippy sock vacation, i made it my goal to listen to this song and believe in the words. whenever i listened, i would break down in tears because i didn't believe in it. now a year later it breathes life into my chest when i need it. I can smile now because i'm alive. ❤
I'm alive I'm alive To the existential dread I let run through my head The truth is that you hurt me for so long And here's my celebration song I know that years from now When my final flame runs out I'll be a grain of sand Running through a stranger's hand But right now I'm alive I'm alive I'm alive I lived to see today I lost so much along the way And that's fine 'Cause I'm alive I've been so hurt for so long I've been so hurt for so long I've been so hurt for so long I've been so hurt for so long Well, I'm done Trying to run From all the things that make me feel alive For fear that I might just catch fire 'Cause I've earned A couple days amongst the sun God knows I've more than paid my dues For all the months that I didn't wanna live through The sleepless nights, the bloodshot eyes This blissful pain contextualized I went to death's door, he let me inside But for all my want, he couldn't look me in the eyes, I I've been so hurt for so long
I'm going through a lot lately and suicidal thoughts are the only things running through my mind. thank you, for helping me get through this. thank you..
The singles did not do this record justice holy shit and that's saying something because those were still fantastic. Also they handled the themes and messages on this album so professionally and mature that I don't think any other band could've pulled this off.
This song has been my fight song for the past 3 years. Especially now in this year of being 25. This has been one of the hardest years of my life. With so much pain and hurt. But there’s a little voice that keeps saying… I gotta keep going. Fingers crossed year 26 will bring growth and less pain.
Just saw them open for Senses Fail a few months ago. Before then I had never heard of Holding Absence...I have missed out on years of amazing music. Sometimes you find amazing openers and this is one of them. I have had them on repeat since I watched them and now my kids are singing to them. Amazing music! Feels like every song has such a deep meaning and can relate to something that is going on or has happened in your life. Thank you Holding Absence!!!
This is an absolute banger, genuinely gives me goosebumps. Seen these guys live a few times now and they're amazing. Props to the drummer who is especially awesome live!
So glad I found this song when I was 17 and related so much to me how I felt on my 18th birthday and now my 19th birthday. I never thought I would make it that far 💖
How does a punch to the stomach feel so fucking good? Throw up and laugh at the same time. And scream. But all of the above, all of the above done while smiling. Fuck does this even make sense? Anyways. Thank you for this.
Masterpiece. Taken me hours to digest and sit with the whole album post my first listen. It ebbs n flows fusing genres, storylines and emotions like a wave...hitting you hard at every turn...in the best way possible. Thank you Holding Absence (current and past members) and Dan Weller for sitting down at Middle Farm during COVID and giving birth to the most wonderous album. It will stay with me for life 🤘❤️
and 10years later I found this song on the 10th anniversary of me getting so sick and not holding my child when I gave birth ..I am celebrating,,,btw I am also a floral designer so the flowers wow!!!
Literally had to sign in to say a mate of mine said "check these guys out i think they are your sound" , btw im almost 40, i was around before emo became emo, i loved Emo core and screemo, these guys have such a good sound , Drummer, Vocalist , bass player, Guitarist, i wish i was 22 again and these guys where around in 2005.
When they get better and the singer gets more comfortable with his voice .Kinda sounds like he went through puberty not to long ago and he needs some more years under his belt. He's progressed quite alot in the past few years and is starting to get the hang of it a bit more.
@@randalbrown7761 I mean I honestly disagree, and I feel like the tension you probably hear in his voice is moreso just the emotion he’s expressing rather than his voice not being “mature” but that’s just me, I just think his voice is absolutely phenomenal and I don’t think it needs to mature
It's that adolescent sound in his voice when it gets more weathered and most likely a bit deeper you'll hear the difference .Ive heard many young singers walk the same road.He's only just really harnessed his sound this past 2 years and he's still a few years away from mastering it which will be phenomenal because he's so good already.
@@randalbrown7761 at the same time though, it’s obvious Lucas grew up taking lessons. He’s leagues above a lot of other vocalists in the scene. Sure he’s still young and there is still tricks he’s yet to pull off, but he’s already capable of a lot more than 90% of alt. vocalists
As a combat medic from the United States military from the second gulf war suffering with deep survivors guilt. This song resonates with me on a fundamental level. After watching so many young many young men and women die in my arms and ask the question how did I make it out. And it's affected my relationships for so long. When they ask about it I get guarded and, in all honesty, cruel. To hear someone yell at the top of their lungs what I want to feel is aspirational. I've abused substances, I've abused people, and I've abused myself. But this it gives a reason to actually engage in the therapy I've been in for years, but never had the courage to open up to. This is a turning point. This is a celebration song.
amen brother, hope all’s well
Stay strong my friend and thank you all for your service
Im struggling with a similar thing, not military but i wish i could have joined. Im glad youre here brother. Stay strong...
Praying for peace for your broken heart brother, stay strong, there’s a reason why you’re still here
God bless you for your service, and for what you suffered on behalf of others
Potentially the most beautiful song I've heard in years. Jesus Christ.
RIGHTTT!!!!
Absolutely mourning song aswell for me
😭
Just hit that sweet spot that is so hard to hit
@@edsmirnov2665 hit all the spots!
"God knows I've more than paid my dues, for all the months that I didn't wanna live through."
Now that is one of the best lines I've ever heard.
Months pfft. It's been many years for me now
@@ruschev2I know what you mean, and I am so sorry 😩
I had never heard a song with such lyrics. Hits too much.
Lucas is undoubtedly one of the best vocalist in the game dood never misses 🖤
@@chasebelmarez1088 I do so go be negative somewhere else
He's a fucking beast for sure
"THE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS, THE BLOODSHOT EYES, THIS BLISSFUL PAIN, CONTEXTUALIZED" So deep!!!!!!
"God knows I’ve more than paid my dues
For all the months that I didn’t want to live through.
The sleepless nights, the bloodshot eyes,
This blissful pain contextualized.
I went to deaths door,
He let me inside,
But for all my want,
He couldn’t look me in the eyes."
That is a remarkably powerful way to phrase that. Felt that in the core.
This lines sent chills to my spine, so relatable
This song hurts. But the final message is "never lose hope. Even if I was close to death I'm here... And I'M ALIVE". Thank you for this little masterpiece. Today you helped me to Celebrate Life❤️
It's simple
Thank you holding absence
Thank you
Can we all just appreciate how amazing that intro track is
No song has ever spoken to me like this one. Fuck this felt so good to have words I could never speak sang so beautifully. Who's crying at the concert with me when this plays?
I challenge anyone to NOT cry lol
I like how you put this.
just saw it in concert and it was beautiful
I nearly cried on the first piano note in the concert. I'm barely exagerating
I rarely cry to songs. But this one opens the flood gates. Such a beautiful message
this band is such a gem
This album makes me think of the stages of grief and this song being acceptance
This song makes me think about a depressed people that finally won this horrible disease
The way this song kicks in after the intro gives me fucking chills man
I AM CELEBRATING THE RELEASE OF THIS ALBUM LET'S GOOOOOOOO
i knew when hearing the preview of this song it was instantly going to become one of my favourites, but it honestly doesn't sound the same without awake before it. glad this video includes awake. masterpiece. not just this, but the whole album
Going through depression sickness my entire life this will always push me through
Imagine hearing this one live 🥺
I was blessed with doing so on Saturday in Sydney... Absolutely amazing
It’s an experience you won’t forget. It’s how I discovered them (they opened for Silverstein) and now I’m a lifelong fan. Been listening nonstop since
It was incredible
I have
These guys continue to produce music that truly touches my heart and soul….they can get the biggest smile or the ugliest crying out of me…and I’m thankful for that…..I’m alive 🖤
I've not heard such an emotional&powerful intro for a long time. Thank you.
This band seriously pour their heart into their music, so beautiful ❤
0:00 Awake
1:15 Celebration Song
you can really feel this song
Holy shit, this song makes me cry whenever I am sad
Dude, I was at the Electric Callboy concert yesterday in cologne and Holding Absence together with Future palace were openers. Never heard of those guys before but when they played this song I got instant goosebumps and they immediately won me over. This track is nuts
Such a cathartic experience - so beautifully written.
This band is the best thing I've found in years
Just discovering these guys. This band is special
This song never fails to elicit an emotional response from me. This time around, I started crying during the intro 😅 I think part of why this song means so much to me is because there are so many times I've thought about 'ending it all,' and there have been more times than I think most people would like to admit, when I've tried to end it all. I just have a lot of trauma and have dealt with quite a bit of anxiety, depression, exhaustion, and struggles because of the trauma.... just like Lucas says, "I've been so hurt for so long."
There are so many times that I truly thought that that's what I wanted, was to not be alive anymore. The first time I finally felt differently, it was such a breath of fresh air. That's not to say that I don't have tough days anymore, because I still struggle everyday.
But daily, I also try to remember to stay grateful and to remind myself that "I'M ALIVE!" and how much of a gift that truly is.
I feel this song on so many levels and it's honestly (and it always will be) one of the greatest, most beautiful songs that I've ever heard (and will ever hear).
Thank you Lucas, Ashley, Benjamin, and Scott for this song / for playing it, when you do!! It is such a life-changing gift.
Everything about Holding Absence is just.. art at its finest. Truly.
when i left my grippy sock vacation, i made it my goal to listen to this song and believe in the words. whenever i listened, i would break down in tears because i didn't believe in it. now a year later it breathes life into my chest when i need it. I can smile now because i'm alive. ❤
Every time I feel hope is lost, this song keeps me moving forward
I'm alive
I'm alive
To the existential dread
I let run through my head
The truth is that you hurt me for so long
And here's my celebration song
I know that years from now
When my final flame runs out
I'll be a grain of sand
Running through a stranger's hand
But right now
I'm alive
I'm alive
I'm alive
I lived to see today
I lost so much along the way
And that's fine
'Cause I'm alive
I've been so hurt for so long
I've been so hurt for so long
I've been so hurt for so long
I've been so hurt for so long
Well, I'm done
Trying to run
From all the things that make me feel alive
For fear that I might just catch fire
'Cause I've earned
A couple days amongst the sun
God knows I've more than paid my dues
For all the months that I didn't wanna live through
The sleepless nights, the bloodshot eyes
This blissful pain contextualized
I went to death's door, he let me inside
But for all my want, he couldn't look me in the eyes, I
I've been so hurt for so long
I played this right after beating covid today.
It made me cry. ♥
...after a cold?
I'm going through a lot lately and suicidal thoughts are the only things running through my mind. thank you, for helping me get through this. thank you..
I’m so sorry you’re going through that. Keep holding on, things will get better pal ❤️
You will be okay, it doesnt last forever, i would hug you if i could.
@@donthaveabreakdown5608 thank you 🖤 your lovely message warms my heart.
@@Panda-jj4bq aw, that's honestly very sweet of you so here's me sending a virtual hug to you. *hugs*
@@lilith_chan1385 "hugs back" your welcome!
Wow. What an incredible song.
Such a powerful song. Goosebumps every time I listen to it.
The lyrics are so damn powerful🖤
Beautiful song. Been a very long time that I've heard a song with lyrics that resonate with my soul so much.
in the dark days, this song saved me
The singles did not do this record justice holy shit and that's saying something because those were still fantastic. Also they handled the themes and messages on this album so professionally and mature that I don't think any other band could've pulled this off.
That intro gives me chills every time
Such a great song. I love it, don't get me wrong, but I desperately want another chorus at the end to top it all off.
It's pleasure to realise that great music like this still coming out!
The whole song is incredible, but the outro is just next-level.
Such a heartfelt, authentic, and unique expression✌🏻
IM
AAAAALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEEE
Song hit me like a truck. Not afraid to admit by the end I was crying cause relatable.
Thank god, yes, felt like I got punched in the gut I was looking for a comment similar.
This song has been my fight song for the past 3 years. Especially now in this year of being 25. This has been one of the hardest years of my life. With so much pain and hurt. But there’s a little voice that keeps saying… I gotta keep going. Fingers crossed year 26 will bring growth and less pain.
Album of the year … absolutely god damn awesome song
Yea.....this song hits the spot. 💙
Truly amazing
really am alive after this dropped :)
I saw them live tonight and they opened with this song. My jaw dropped. His vocals are out of this world. I’m a fan 🤍
That's what happens when you start music at age 3 like all these pros do
This song is so beautiful!
Just saw them open for Senses Fail a few months ago. Before then I had never heard of Holding Absence...I have missed out on years of amazing music. Sometimes you find amazing openers and this is one of them. I have had them on repeat since I watched them and now my kids are singing to them. Amazing music! Feels like every song has such a deep meaning and can relate to something that is going on or has happened in your life. Thank you Holding Absence!!!
This is an absolute banger, genuinely gives me goosebumps. Seen these guys live a few times now and they're amazing. Props to the drummer who is especially awesome live!
I lOVE IT!!!
So glad I found this song when I was 17 and related so much to me how I felt on my 18th birthday and now my 19th birthday. I never thought I would make it that far 💖
Wooow woooow, so far I know this band and it is the best thing I have discovered in 2021. Excellent song.
Just amazing
Thank you for this song.
How does a punch to the stomach feel so fucking good? Throw up and laugh at the same time. And scream. But all of the above, all of the above done while smiling. Fuck does this even make sense? Anyways. Thank you for this.
1:15 hit like a train jeez
The melody, the message, the musicality is mesmerising.
It truly is a masterpiece!
damn such a banger
Masterpiece. Taken me hours to digest and sit with the whole album post my first listen. It ebbs n flows fusing genres, storylines and emotions like a wave...hitting you hard at every turn...in the best way possible. Thank you Holding Absence (current and past members) and Dan Weller for sitting down at Middle Farm during COVID and giving birth to the most wonderous album. It will stay with me for life 🤘❤️
I love this song so much❤
Thank you Jesus ❤ always everywhere, behind thr scenes keeping me ..alive.
iM NOT CRYING YOU ARE
What a beautiful song
Wow, this is a damn nice surprise, really dig this.
Beautiful song
Playing this on my 30th birthday. I'm proud I made it.
and 10years later I found this song on the 10th anniversary of me getting so sick and not holding my child when I gave birth ..I am celebrating,,,btw I am also a floral designer so the flowers wow!!!
To let go of everything dark and celebrate your time now!
I remember hearing the opening to this song and walking into my sons bedroom during lockdown and going who the hell is that? … 2 tours later 🙌
I just discovered this band and I don't regret it
Amazing
LOVE
a simple video but so beautiful... 😍
The feels 🖤
i love u sharpTone records
Literally had to sign in to say a mate of mine said "check these guys out i think they are your sound" , btw im almost 40, i was around before emo became emo, i loved Emo core and screemo, these guys have such a good sound , Drummer, Vocalist , bass player, Guitarist, i wish i was 22 again and these guys where around in 2005.
age doesnt matter dude
33 and still live for it
You’re an og brother
46 and inspired all the same. Great music transcends age and time as I just found these guys. They're incredible!
*All the heavy metalheads out there:
is this... "feelings"?
We can all agree that 1:15 is the best part of the song right?
Mbbaswm🌪️
i love you guys so bad this shit is amazing
I love musik Holding Absence
Wow that 5 minutes goes by quick.
When this band matures they’re going to be huge.I’d say 2-3 albums from now.
What do you mean by matures?
When they get better and the singer gets more comfortable with his voice .Kinda sounds like he went through puberty not to long ago and he needs some more years under his belt. He's progressed quite alot in the past few years and is starting to get the hang of it a bit more.
@@randalbrown7761 I mean I honestly disagree, and I feel like the tension you probably hear in his voice is moreso just the emotion he’s expressing rather than his voice not being “mature” but that’s just me, I just think his voice is absolutely phenomenal and I don’t think it needs to mature
It's that adolescent sound in his voice when it gets more weathered and most likely a bit deeper you'll hear the difference .Ive heard many young singers walk the same road.He's only just really harnessed his sound this past 2 years and he's still a few years away from mastering it which will be phenomenal because he's so good already.
@@randalbrown7761 at the same time though, it’s obvious Lucas grew up taking lessons. He’s leagues above a lot of other vocalists in the scene. Sure he’s still young and there is still tricks he’s yet to pull off, but he’s already capable of a lot more than 90% of alt. vocalists
What the heck? Why didn't anyone tell me that this band was so good?
Right, I'm sitting here pissed at myself for not being here sooner, almost as if I had heard it sooner life would be different. Crazy good song.
𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐'𝘔 𝘈𝘈𝘈𝘓𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘐𝘝𝘌
Concert tickets....PLEASE XD
I know that years from now
The final flame runs out
I'm done too.🎉
I'M ALIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
♍
too much underestimated
Fuck a comparison ❤you found a sound I can't wait for you to get comfortable and let loose 100% on
Lucas xx