“I shouldn’t have to ask for $20 to get McDonalds for the kids”
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- Опубликовано: 18 сен 2023
- Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Doni and Cacey, 30 and 40 years old with three very young kids. Doni’s struggled with credit card debt in the past, putting pressure on Cacey to control their finances-in addition to being the family’s sole earner. Don’t miss the shocking twist to their money story at the end of the episode.
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NOOOOOOOO!!!?!! $125/ week on groceries for a family of five is spending $1.19 per meal per person. The price of food is quickly rising. Doni has been set up for failure. I love your work Ramit, but you have openly admitted that grocery budgeting is not your forte. Doni needs more margin. This couple counted cutting the food budget as a win. How much stress is that going to cost Doni? Please do a meal plan for the week, them write down the ingredients in list form. Take the list to the grocery store and write the price after each item. After doing this for a few weeks, then set a realistic budget. I just don't want the family to have no margin for healthy food. I'm begging families for MARGIN. Healthy food can add up quickly, and in situations like this, sometimes nutritional food gets sacrificed in the name of money. Maybe internet or cable needs to get cut; but good food literally helps brains develop. You are literally putting your kid's IQs on the line. Please be realistic when setting your food budget.
I have a family of four and count it a win if I spend less than $300/week. I’m literally shocked at the $125 budget
We are a family of 5 (2 teens and one tween)…we used to spend about $125/week but now it’s up to about $150-75/week.
You either stopped watching during the grocery segment, or you've completely missed what Ramit's mission is with this podcast.
Love your tips here really good advice. I have a family of three and we budget $200 we have somehow magically dropped to around $160. Now to think of it it’s not magical lol my cousin gave up a lump sum of farm raised frozen meats that have incredibly dropped our budget. You are spot on ma’am in your advice.
We are a family of 3 and we budget 100/month per person. So far we are staying within that +/ 20
That is a totally unrealistic grocery budget for five, I spend more than that on 2-3 people! Prices are outrageous right now , how can he not be aware of that?
Unpopular opinion: he enjoys the control. Hope they see it thru. I like how he needs to finess what he says to not appear as controling. " I had to take back the credit card" as if he was talking about a child. If she had a reasonable weekly budget I am sure she would find ways to make the best out of it... she has to come "ask". Like a child to a parent to get money to feed their kids....
Exactly
Plus he ain’t bout to make no 1 million dollars off his mlm company that sold
It’s not a spending problem. It’s an income problem. Who told someone that makes $60k he could afford 3 kids and a stay at home wife? He wants a traditional family but doesn’t have the income to support it.
Men say they can do it 45k all the time. Have you heard these podcasts
3 kids under elementary age though. If she worked all the money would go straight to daycare.
@@BigJay1999 she can work remotely partime
Throw in a few more of those secretive ultra-high-return investments though 🤔
It’s doable. They’re not on the same page.
90 000 car without a blink vs 75/125 to food per week :D :D
The USDA puts out a monthly "cost of food at home" calculator. It's ranked in four tiers: thrifty, low, moderate, and liberal food plans.
The "thrifty" food plan for this couple, their 2 & 4 year olds is $880.50 per month. Add in whatever it takes to feed the four month old, either formula or more calories for a nursing mom. That's considered the bare minimum for a nutritious diet. This lady has already gotten it down to $700! $500 is less than what the USDA says to budget for just the man and woman ages 19-50, without even factoring in three kids who are growing at lightning speed.
Omg thank you for this comment!! I have looked into this and it's so insightful I'm looking into it for myself
It's Ramit's compassion, humor, and expertise for me. 🙂
1:02:38 Holy crap, I hear people coming into money not knowing what to do with it, but this was the first time I've actually "seen" someone do that! The amount of life upgrades they wanted to do while they are barely floating is insane! I'm glad they reached out to Ramit for advice on this one, that would have been bad!
20% of it on luxury cars.. perhaps they had not considered tax? Even then.
I just had to stop watching right there. So hard to see this. Three small kids.
I really admired Cacey’s openness as he navigated these deep-rooted identities within himself and how they are expressed in their daily lives together. He demonstrated a lot humility and kindness to himself and Doni in the process. This makes me feel really optimistic for this family that they’ll be able to adjust their roles and relationship dynamics over time. I wish them well!
Great couple. I am rooting for them. It’s refreshing to see the guest diversity.
MAD RESPECT FOR THIS COUPLE! I love what Ramit has done for them. I would take 50K and put it into a Emergency Fund. Just in case something happens, at least they are safe for the bills being paid. That cushion is important. Wishing them the best!!!
Excellent show! I was so concerned about the power and control dynamic at the beginning, but the love came through in the second half. Glad I watched until the end. Sounds like they may hold on to their windfall as they get a grip on their finances.
This was an ALL TIME episode. I got as pumped for them as I would my team scoring a touchdown. You're a master, Ramit!
This couple has a great future ahead if they take Ramit’s advice. Ramit needs to have a poll to let us vote on which couples to bring back 1 year later
WOW, I didn't see that one coming! If this lovely couple listen to Ramit's advice, they will be millionaires sooner rather than later! I wish their family the best!
I would invest half and pay all debt and leave mtg at that amazing rate! In 60+ years I’ve never seen a rate like this. You gave perfect advice. I hope they heed it all. This is an amazing couple…I would love to hear how they’re doing in 1 year.💜💜
Yep that rate is amazing. I got a 2.75% interest rate when we re-financed in 2020. Haven't seen those rates since then. Rates are currently 6-7% in 2023
$125 a week is not realistic for 3 kids and the 2 parents. I live with just me and my gf and spend about $140 on avg a week. You guys need diapers and formula and not to mention food. I mean I would think about $200-$250 a week would be normal for a family of 5.
This couple is precious ❤. So happy they were able to work with Ramit and get on the same page! Wishing them the best.
Love this couple, I want them to succeed! I want these 3 kids to have everything they need and help run this country someday (we need all the help we can get) these young children are OUR FUTURE ❤
4k a month for 5 people is kinda rough.
It’s not kind of rough, it’s extremely rough.❤
Depends honestly on the rent. If the rent is at max 2 k they do not have no medical expenses they don’t eat out yes they can live off that amount and in peace
Please don't spend $120,000 on vehicles (for a Tesla and a van)! So much for depreciating assets! I wouldn't spend almost $50,000 on solar panels too. Yes, I would Save and Invest a certain amount too. Wishing Don and Cacey all the best to them! Great advice, Ramit!
Agree. Americans are too obsessed with cars. Depreciating assets are worth literally nothing in the end.
they're delusional
nothing set aside for the kids
Glad I live in Chicago! Getting rid of my car saved me a extra $12K a year
People seem to confuse control & responsibility. It's fine if overall one person oversees the ongoing maintenance of a pre-agreed-upon financial framework, but I'd never hand over "control" of finances to a spouse. That's a recipe for disaster in so many ways. Asking permission for XYZ case-by-case would be miserable & toxic...having a discussion about increasing the monthly budget for XYZ categories of spending is a whole other matter & far healthier in my opinion.
This was an amazing episode with many twists and turns. The couple bravely unpeeled the onion to tap into deeper truths and the behavior that was harming or helping. Ramit, the consummate professional, helped them with kindness and humor.
I was yelling at the screen when they revealed their plan for spending their windfall. So glad they heard Ramit’s suggestions.
Love this podcast!❤
Considering they emphasize the value of setting their family up for success, I'm surprised that this couple never discussed or even considered setting money aside for the children's college fund and education. Truly disconnected - the goal doesn't align with their decision making in my book. Hence why I appreciate Ramit always emphasizing the importance of taking the time to conceptualize rich life goals, connect it to future vision and current life and decisions. Make it align and prioritize accordingly.
One of the best episodes. I loved your influence on their windfall. I hope they create generational wealth rather than just spending the money on a bunch of crap and getting back to zero.
Yes, no $90,000 CARS. Dangerous decision. Invest, Invest.
It was great to see the light bulb moments from Cacey & Doni during this episode. I'm happy for them.
This podcast is where it really clicked for me. I’ve listened to nearly 70 episodes, read the book, and follow Ramit on social media, but it didn’t really click in relation to my own money journey until this episode. Thank you to this couple and Ramit for helping me understand and value money goals and debt issues.
🙌
Damn Ramit...EVERY episode I learn SO MUCH! I wish I saw this episode last year when $13K came my way...otherwise, I am so happy I have gifted your book to my nephews and niece, all young adults in their early 20s. 🙏
If you don't mind sharing, how did you spend it? And how would you use it differently today? 🙂
@@loliwelch9151No problem on sharing. I am happy to. I think...at the time I put more into savings? that I ended up using to move and also, used some of the $$ for a trip to Malaysia, which I have no regrets spending on. I just figured now, for future I would rather put the money into something that earns a return.
If I didn't have to move last year, I would have split it into parts: 1/3 into my IRA 1/3 into stocks 1/3 into savings as I am still rebuilding my emergency fund. 😏
What an awesome couple! I liked how they treated each other. You could feel the tension decline as the episode progressed. Well done !
I would LOVE to see an update on this couple.
No partner/spouse should give anyone total control of their finances. Women specifically have historically suffered financial in such situations.
I have listened to so many of your podcasts. I am gradually learning so much about money & it's relationship. Thank You so much
I obviously made this comment mid video lol. But 1.5 million. Let's say they keep 1 after taxes. They could invest in an index fund and just pull 30-40K a year out and never touch the balance...... the problem is they have lots of wants and are goind to spend the money in months....... The amount they are spending each month is reasonable. The problem is 5 people on one salary that is less than the national average. This is why food is such a big issue for them AND the wife is tries to mix entertainment with $20 for McDonalds just to keep her sanity. As Dave R would say, you have an income problem, not a spending problem. They need at least $500 more a month. May that is starting a small day care in house or walking dogs during the day (seems unlikely), but they need to do something.
They definitely have an income problem but I'm sure they have a spending problem too which doesn't help their situation
Best episode yet. It’s good to see people with relatable income bracket and the help given was impeccable. 🎉
This was a great episode! As I'm binging some old ones... this couple/episode stands out as of my favorites.
My husband used to get groceries on the way home from work, too. Though the man at 25:25 cannot explain it, I can. He always thought I bought more than we needed. It would be confirmed when things would expire before we consumed them. We do meal plan and that helps with major items, but I buy a lot of snacks and like to have things on hand for when I just can't cook that night or if I fall ill (soups/canned tuna/frozen foods, etc). I used to buy in bulk when there was a great sale. It took me years to learn that does not work for my family. The snacks they want shift so often that the buy 5 bags of Doritos get $1 off each bag or similar cereal deals don't work for us. After the 2nd or 3rd, they stop eating that product for a while. The worst was when both kids decided they were over Z bars when I purchased 4 large sale boxes during a great sale. One purchase decision cost over $50. I know they'll change their mind shortly after they EXPIRE.
By picking groceries up himself, we spent less. No compulsive or bulk purchases. Now, I just do store pickup. It has the same effect.
Want to give some perspective with a little back-of-envelope calculations:
In State of Texas, $51,216 year Gross Salary is Maximum Annual Income to apply/qualify for SNAP/food stamps for a Family of 5. Casey makes just under $60K year. He is just $9K (apporx.18%) over qualifying for SNAP.
Using the 5 Earned Income Quintile metric, Tier #3/"middle-class" is $55,001 - $89,744, so he is scraping the barrel at $60K.
Glad they have a windfall coming, but what if they didn't? Their situation is precarious with only $2,000 emergency fund, which would not even cover 1 month of mortgage & car payments. Paying off the non-mortgage debts is a no-brainer with proceeds from windfall. $60K/equivalent of 1 year salary should be set-aside for emergency fund only.
As for whether to pay-off the mortgage, there is a 3rd option. Do a 1/2 principal reduction of $125K. With $125K balance and $1,560/m payments, it will take about 7 years to payoff mortgage, before Casey hits 50 years old.
Regarding charity, why is anyone only earning $60K/year and barely in Middle-Class, going to give $200K to non-profit? That's just ego-driven & very stupid. Chances of Casey having another windfall in his lifetime is very slim to non-existent. He needs to make wise decisions with this windfall that will create generational wealth, not try to impress other people, especially family because family will start asking for hand-outs.
Not everyone cares about themselves & generational wealth, they can do as they please, it’s their money!
I love this couple. Congratulations on the investment windfall 🎉. That's truly life changing and I hope they make the best out of it and never had any arguments about groceries because that's a necessity. All the best 💖 Ramit, amazing coaching and well presented!
Thank you so much Ramit for your videos, it is almost hard to type this because of gratefulness I have towards the impact you have had on our mindset of looking at money. I have a long way to go, but my husband and I probably feel the most "energy" referenced in your video around our student loans. Thank you again
I need to be able to trust her vs I need to trust her.
That was powerful.
Lovely episode and lovely couple!! Wishing them the very best 💯❤️
Loved this episode and I LOVE this for them, wish them both the best!
I haven't heard enough but 75$ is not enough. 150$ would be a good week but there has to be flexibility. I think 150$ - to 200$ could be a good budget
I left this episode feeling so great. Thanks Ramit for the episode. Best of luck to the couple, and congratulations to them on all the success.
$48k in solar panels is a complete waste of money
Totally
Waw ! We are a family of three and we set $750 a month for groceries. I feel like we are not eating well enough.
Awesome episode with an awesome couple! Thank you so much for sharing!
15 minutes in and I'm more than a little concerned by the amount of financial control he exerts over her. Really hoping it gets better.
control? more like being responsible
55:30 you two are relationship goals in this convo right here at this point. Amazing way to model true teamwork ❤
Very good episode. I'm so happy Ramit gave advice on the $ they have coming in. Hope they go with Ramit's suggestion or at least significantly increase the amount they intend to invest.
I would not spend $$ on solar panels, way too much for how much you would save.
Wow this was my favorite episode ever. I wish them the best!
200k to a non profit?!! When your mom in need? Lawdy
Great episode and great couple. Very well done episode by Ramit. Wishing the best for this couple!
Such great content. I have noticed that Ramit has the couple do the interviews from separate rooms vs together. I think this probably allows both parties to be truly transparent with how they really feel. I bet that really helps get to the root of things and allow them to really problem solve. This content is so helpful because its so much deeper than money.
It's probably for audio reasons actually
Totally for audio reasons- but the ability to have each person get their own space and see each other while talking is a great additional bonus
Such a nice couple. They really took your advice well. As you mentioned they should really focus on communication and I know they will be successful. That calculator made it a reality of what they could do with their future investments. Good luck to them!
I'd love to see a debate between Ramit and Clark Howard. Would be fascinating!
Where can I get that excel sheet? Is there a place to buy it?
Thanks again for making the connection to their childhood upbringing. I appreciate how you pointed out how their communication & control problems are the key issues to work on. It doesn't matter how big or little their investment returns are gonna be. Nothing can beat a supportive & thriving relationship
I am excited for this couple!
Love your impish laugh, Rajit! 😆Such a great episode. Thank you.
And just love this couple; they're really sweet and loving.
I don’t know many women who don’t enjoy grocery shopping; be it in person or ordering online. She’ll cook, she knows what to get. She’s not just the babysitter and the cook, you just “provide” what you think is right and she’s just supposed to cook and feed you and the kids. You don’t allow her to feel like an adult and have some financial control; she’s a damn adult! This man is too controlling, will result in her being resentful and loosing her feminine qualities. Sit down, make a budget and let her do the grocery shopping that she enjoys. If the money is not enough, discuss that and make reasonable adjustments!
love your videos and clicked into multiple times from the interesting titles while only to find out they are 1h+, thought of shorter versions in addition?
Great episode - very likable couple - very willing to learn and change. Loved the discussion at the end. As usual, the one disagreement I have with Ramit is re the house (typically owning vs. renting, but here, paying off the house early) - in this case I'd probably leave the mortgage in place, but I would pay it off early with monthly cash flow moving forward (everything left over after investing 10-20%). But that is a minor detail - great episode
They have the time to make the payments for 30 years. Why would you pay down 2.6% when you can earn 7%? His advice was spot on.
@@ebonitompkins Why would you take 30 years to pay off something you could pay off much earlier and get out of your life?
I had to stop watching when he announced the windfall. What the hell is this investment? it took the story out of the reality for most people and now they're able to set up a future most of us won't have.
Why not? It’s an investment in a company. I invest 10k in company and got back 56k. I was just trying it out. But if I would have put 50k up. The multiple was 5.6x. It depends on the company investment
So you're upset because they can enjoy their lives and pay off their debt with the investment?? Do you just want everyone to be as miserable as you or what??? You can't get ahead so no one else can??
Here's what I would do:
1. Pay off all high-interest loans
2. Save 6 months of emergency funds
3. Fun spending (braces, lasik, etc)
4. Invest the rest
lasik and braces are not considered fun spending. Those are medical bills. I'm wondering about their medical insurance or possibly an HSA that they can use to pay for those expenses.
Im trying to figure out how they about to get groceries for $125 a week for a family of 5!? In 2023??
Ramit your shirt is SUPER FIRE in this episode. So crispy.
Great episode! This couple is going to do very well. Keep it up guys!
Crazy that I listened to one hour, only to hear that they will have enough money to pay off all of their debts and have tons left over. It turns the whole episode upside down.
Can you add chapters to this podcast?
I really enjoyed this episode! I really like seeing how this couple evolves especially Casey. You can see they really want to make some good choices moving forward.
Ramit (and/or his producers) are great at finding real people to help bring the message to other real people like most of his listeners (me/us) ❤
Great episode! 👏🏽
Love this episode.
Love this couple and episode 🙌🏽
Mr. Sethi, please consider doing a short video on the 5 Earned Income Quintiles. Most people don't know which Quintile they fall into, so they make decisions based off missing inputs.
Also, speak with a TAX ACCOUNTANT. What are the tax consequences and how do you minimize those. Congratulations .
Well they need to pay off the highest debt. LASIK should cost 5k. No 90k car. How much insurance do they have for braces and hsa. I would invest and increase my income
The little 🖐️ close to the one minute mark ❤
If you ever wonder how people can blow through their lottery winnings watch this. The windfall is definitely saving them, but ultimately they need to get their income up and then they’ll thrive. Best to them!
$125/week could just be diapers and formula if you need a restock.
Yup
They have set nothing aside for savings, solar panels, a $90k vehicle, $30 or $50k for another vehicle. Probably not good investments.
After paying of student loans/car/credit cards/business loan, they should make emergency fund their #1 priority. They currently only have $2,000, which doesn't even cover 1 month of mortgage payment & food. They should put back at least $60K into emergency fund (equivalent of 1-year gross salary). Personally, I would pay down mortgage by half ($125K), then their mortgage would be done approximately 7 years (before Casey is 50 YO). Don't understand anything about that $200K charity donation, always take care of family first.
The man makes all the decisions
I’m so happy that they had the opportunity to listen to Ramit and how he’d invest the money. He is so right that the money can disappear as fast as it came in. Best of luck to them both!
1:02:00 they about to blow all that money lol I think its time to reconsider the plan, and I think they'll figure it out.
Something tells me they still will. He's a dreamer and he will buy into another mlm he thinks will pay off.
What was the investment tho?
What a lovely couple, I wish them well
Pay off all debt, including the mortgage. Invest the rest. Idk why you'd upgrade the car and get a second car/tesla. If what you have now works, leave it. That's lifestyle creep.
Totally agree with 1 addition to set aside an emergency fund. Their monthly expenses will then be so low w/o bills and mortgage that they will have so much room to breath. Plus they'd still have a ton to invest.
What was that one sponsor ramit had talking about different types of coffee? I remember him mentioning it in one podcast but can’t remember which one. I’d like to give it a try.
I think it’s Trade Coffee. He likely has a referral link in the show notes.
No criticism here but this talk would have been a little different had they unveiled that seven figure payout earlier while asking for advice and working through their trust issues.
I connected and felt like I related to them until that 1 hr mark when they pulled back the curtain. I stopped watching at that point. Nevertheless, I hope they can continue to work on their mindsets and make good decisions moving forward without falling into the same traps.
The windfall doesn’t change the day to day money concerns, behaviors or clear control issues they have. It’s a temporary band aid that will eventually be used up and they’ll be back where they are.
If you stopped watching just because you heard about the windfall you have some clear insecurity and jealousy issues.
@@cornellcornell1 I figured I would draw criticism for my comment from someone who doesn't know me. I am happy for anyone who can fight and come out on top during these troubling economic times. I stopped watching because their budget quickly changed and was no longer relatable to many family households right now clawing through inflation.
The conversation should've been: "We made 100k prior to the pandemic but losing work exposed our financial liabilities. We have some trust issues to work out because spending didn't matter prior to that. Fortunately, we have a payout coming in, can you help us work through this so we don't fall into the same trap?"
Thanks for the comment, have an awesome day.
Don't take two kids grocery shopping, they will increase your list 30%
I make $60k a year as a truck driver and I also have 3 lil ones at home with 2 older ones that take care of their own . I make it work. I keep my cost of living down and buy groceries and I to stay on a budget of $125 to $150/week. But we also don’t just eat groceries only for meals. We buy Hotn Readies a lot and we use APPs for like McDonald’s or other restaurants and we eat out atleast 2 times a week. Maybe one day thru the week and one day on the weekend. But you’re talking out of 3 meals a day for 7 days for 5 people. So it’s only 2 meals replaced out of 21 meals. Maybe an extra lunch here or there also. I bought a home in the end of recession when house prices where at there lowest and I got my home for $58k with a low interest rate fixed for 30 yrs at $450/ month and that includes home owners insurance and property taxes so right there I save hundreds compared to to if I was having to rent for $1000+ a month in my area right now. I just started a 401 k late in the game at 45 yrs old so I am only going to to be able to get 20 to 25 yrs in on that. But I’m a hustler as my wife! We both look for ways to make extra money on the side. We come from poverty and know how to value a dollar and find the best deals for everything. Well me more than her but she is learning and we also look for programs that help us out with groceries and she knows how to get things knocked off prices like if we do get fast food and something ain’t right she will let em know and then they end up giving us a complimentary meal and we will use that for one of our next meals. In my mind I think we started off not knowing much about investing. Because I had a low paying job with no benefits so we got government assistance like bridge card and health coverage. Now I pay for it all. But I think it is totally possible to make it work and live a rich life with just $60k/ month. U just gotta have that go get it spirit and be willing to ask and look for bargains. All my kids got more than what they need and we take good trips atleast once a month. I have a nice savings put aside that would keep me good for atleast 9 months if I lost my job or got sick as I have in the past. We also have 2 cars and 1 car payment. Just don’t give up and make sure u invest asap!
Love this couple! They will do well. Wish more was said about the non profit. When your income is low and you have a non profit, what is the goal? Tax saving?
As a family of 5 I can confirm $700 a month for groceries is the right spot. Especially with one or two kids in diapers
I love this couple. They are so considerate. Seems like they really love each other. I hope they get all the money they want and need so they can enjoy each other. Love is hard to find
Lovely episode and couple. Getting a windfall yes, pay off the loans for school, business, credit cards, car. I hope they also treat themselves and the family to a nice trip as well and begin to find the things that will enrich their family to find and live their rich life. Wishing them all the best!
My main question is how do you get from 4900 gross to 4500 net? Wtf am I getting screwed
7 figure windfall?? Invest! Then the gravy IS the train!
I wanted an expensive $50 dollar perfume since I was 15. I am now 35, and just got it in a full size bottle for $70 now. I couldn't justify the expense, and honestly still can't. But I caved in.
Only have to justify it to yourself
I love this... Enjoy that perfume to the max! You have an incredible amount of self-control ❤
It was refreshing to see that they were truly considerate of each other and not wanting to put pressure on their spouse. It did lead to skirting around the issue and stop gap solutions but in the end seems like they got a solid plan and understood the value they bring to the table.
Honestly for 3 adults I can spend less than $400 for groceries. And we eat well.
Why have 3 kids if it's to struggle like that?