The Best Jokes About MY GIRLFRIEND | Jimmy Carr

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  • Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
  • So, apparently I mention my girlfriend a lot in my jokes...so as a tribute here is a compilation of the BEST ones. I hope you enjoy...
    Watch more of Jimmy’s Best Moments - • The Ultimate Jimmy Car...
    The Official Channel for the biggest face in British comedy (literally the biggest face - it's like the moon.)
    For the latest tour dates and tickets: www.jimmycarr....
    #JimmyCarr #Girlfriend

Комментарии • 136

  • @michaelprice9159
    @michaelprice9159 2 года назад +266

    Of course Jimmy cries after sex, pepper spray really stings.

  • @gillhann244
    @gillhann244 2 года назад +83

    Jimmy you are an incredibly clever man, the jokes and come backs at the audiences just roll off your tongue like velvet. Jimmy carr I bloody love you.

    • @mrsleep0000
      @mrsleep0000 2 года назад +2

      Yeah, he was especially clever when he was punching down on the unvaxxed, such a great guy!

    • @Maximilian260592
      @Maximilian260592 2 года назад +3

      @@mrsleep0000 you can never punsh down to much on a antivaxx idiot

    • @rob-890
      @rob-890 2 года назад +2

      @@Maximilian260592 it's too not to

    • @lachiesmart8710
      @lachiesmart8710 2 года назад +1

      @@mrsleep0000 punches down in everyone dunno what you need to be so entitled to that

    • @musicloverme3993
      @musicloverme3993 Год назад

      @@rob-890 It's, "to be or not to be."

  • @JamesParker-qh2ei
    @JamesParker-qh2ei 7 месяцев назад

    Jimmy., your jokes can melt the cares of winter away. You are a master of humor. Like all masters now and before . What you provide is far better than anything given above, over, or beneath the Rx counter. Forget the dealers and the "$l@gs". Laugher is the best medicine. Thank you Jimmy.

  • @Susansays1
    @Susansays1 2 года назад +35

    Love ya Jimmy. The whole world needs more laughter in these times. Thanks for the 🤣 🤣.

  • @ImACompulsiveLiar
    @ImACompulsiveLiar 2 года назад +25

    Oi oi. Jimmy, you've made me laugh again. Keep up the amazing work you do

  • @sneakybinders
    @sneakybinders 2 года назад +7

    These never get old

  • @dadjokeschannel
    @dadjokeschannel 2 года назад +98

    My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair
    Guess who came crawling back

  • @BarriosGroupie
    @BarriosGroupie 2 года назад +2

    I love Jimmy's Asperger's delivery

  • @shikhar.awasthi
    @shikhar.awasthi 2 года назад +4

    Jimmy and Ricky with their girlfriend jokes! 🤣🤣

  • @dustydo8048
    @dustydo8048 2 года назад +13

    I don’t care what they say, I love Jimmy. 😂

  • @kay-dc8495
    @kay-dc8495 2 года назад +24

    Jimmy has the best jokes

  • @natajohn
    @natajohn 2 года назад +5

    Have I thought about what, putting a third finger in?🤣🤣🤣 we could give it a go but I don't think that's what the relationship is missing.
    This guy is hilarious!!😄😄

  • @WilliamHBaird-eq2hp
    @WilliamHBaird-eq2hp 2 года назад +6

    This is Jimmy at his best!

  • @patdavis6383
    @patdavis6383 2 года назад +6

    Awesome as always!

  • @johndoe-is2fw
    @johndoe-is2fw 2 года назад +4

    I dont watch german television, for 10 years now. But I watch so much british shows produced for it on youtube. its kind of a release to see public discourse isnt dead there.

  • @saussierlaurier6397
    @saussierlaurier6397 2 года назад +8

    Jimmy u deserve millions of subscribers❤️from🇩🇿

    • @brettm3472
      @brettm3472 2 года назад +1

      Jimmy should come tour in Oz

    • @marcjames3487
      @marcjames3487 2 года назад

      @@brettm3472 bloody right mate in Victoria we need some laughs !

  • @Semper-SI
    @Semper-SI 2 года назад +6

    You should have bought the “lucky heather” 😂

  • @kfures3469
    @kfures3469 Год назад

    Jimmy, you are absolutely hilarious. I never laughed so hard in my life

  • @TheShadowReviewer
    @TheShadowReviewer 2 года назад +3

    What a creative comedian

  • @MadBalmer1
    @MadBalmer1 2 года назад +5

    Hilarious.. saw him live in Bangkok. Laughed my ass off

  • @Piddlefoots
    @Piddlefoots 2 года назад +5

    YOU are a BAD BAD man, Love it, NEVER CHANGE, we downunder love you, even when you pick on us !!!

  • @jvjonster4200
    @jvjonster4200 2 года назад +1

    Love your comedy!

  • @redbeacon4871
    @redbeacon4871 2 года назад +1

    Love you Jimmy ,from California

  • @beastfishing5257
    @beastfishing5257 2 года назад +9

    Don’t forget about the taxes! Much love from Texas!

  • @swaggycheese303
    @swaggycheese303 2 года назад +1

    "Suddenly f***ing Chewbacca's in the car."

  • @earthsecho4770
    @earthsecho4770 2 года назад +4

    Please come do a show in Johannesburg 🙏
    We miss you !

    • @slartybartfast1
      @slartybartfast1 2 года назад

      Thought south Africans would have had enough of fascists 😂

  • @chuckselvage3157
    @chuckselvage3157 2 года назад +2

    Gold

  • @outseeker
    @outseeker 2 года назад +5

    she's a lucky lady! :)

  • @h.u.l.k.7072
    @h.u.l.k.7072 2 года назад +3

    Fuckin' amazing!!!
    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @daniellinnell346
    @daniellinnell346 Год назад

    Absolute legend your hilarious

  • @chaitanyachavan8503
    @chaitanyachavan8503 2 года назад +2

    Favorite comedian right here

  • @rosayoung4154
    @rosayoung4154 Год назад

    Jimmy is hilarious

  • @luciddreams3493
    @luciddreams3493 2 года назад +1

    Very tame for jimmy

  • @promilitia3312
    @promilitia3312 2 года назад +1

    After watching his videos, my brain start to crying for help.

  • @marcjames3487
    @marcjames3487 2 года назад +2

    The couple married 43 years ? Hilarious. Bet they had a great night after !

  • @daviddoyle982
    @daviddoyle982 2 года назад +7

    Please come to Australia 🇦🇺 Jimmy!
    Just don’t bugger up your Visa application! ;-)

    • @brettm3472
      @brettm3472 2 года назад +1

      Apparently he is next year, 2023

    • @daviddoyle982
      @daviddoyle982 2 года назад

      @@brettm3472 Thanks 🙏 for the heads up!

  • @mohammadrezaherfatmanesh2540
    @mohammadrezaherfatmanesh2540 Год назад

    Great

  • @mickey0303
    @mickey0303 Год назад

    Jimmy as great as you are. by now I know all your Jokes, because I have seen all your Videos. would be nice to get some new Material soon......

  • @jdenmark1287
    @jdenmark1287 2 года назад +12

    We are just amazed you have a girlfriend. I am still not sure if she is deflatable though.

  • @fraspqr
    @fraspqr 2 года назад

    I gave my gf an organism once and she spat it back in my face, i was drinking water too 😂

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 2 года назад +2

    Never, Jimmy?
    * sidelong glance *

  • @JG-vh1xc
    @JG-vh1xc 2 года назад

    Thank u jimbo

  • @user-yx7dp2pl8t
    @user-yx7dp2pl8t 2 года назад

    i just love that the voice comes from the diaphram... yeah it maybe always does that but some arent as heartless as Jimmy so it can come out louder KEKW

  • @esquilax5563
    @esquilax5563 2 года назад +3

    02:05 this clip is so old, it's from back when women had pubic hair

  • @imwithstupid00011
    @imwithstupid00011 2 года назад

    Close ur eyes and listen... it sadiq khan talking london mayoral policy lol.

  • @obscurereference6298
    @obscurereference6298 2 года назад +1

    Sweet Caroline...

  • @reubenmanzo2054
    @reubenmanzo2054 2 года назад +4

    Girlfriend: What if someone comes?
    Chalk it up to inexperience, maybe I've got this wrong... but isn't that the whole idea?

    • @Gary-n
      @Gary-n 2 года назад

      Yep, you're inexperienced.

    • @reubenmanzo2054
      @reubenmanzo2054 2 года назад

      @@Gary-n Sad but true.

  • @skepticusmaximus184
    @skepticusmaximus184 2 года назад +2

    I was thinking about that crying after sex bit just after I woke this morning. I also recounted other mentions of crying after sex I'd heard of. The thing is, I've never understood or remotely felt, remorse from fornication. I made a mental note to look it up. I also wanted to find this clip of Jimmy's. I was just amazed to find it in my recommended list. Is YT/Google achieving ESP powers now?

    • @fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810
      @fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810 2 года назад +1

      Oh you're only just realising Google listen through your microphone?

    • @skepticusmaximus184
      @skepticusmaximus184 2 года назад +3

      @@fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810 But I never said anything about crying after sex out loud. That's why I suggested ESP.

    • @Boris82
      @Boris82 2 года назад

      Something happened in your surroundings before, that made you think about it.
      You don't realize it because you didn't experience this happening to you consciously.
      It works like unconscious advertising.

    • @skepticusmaximus184
      @skepticusmaximus184 2 года назад

      @@Boris82 I'm not worried about what caused me to think about it. The point is how coincidental it was for YT to recommend something I thought about.

    • @Boris82
      @Boris82 2 года назад

      @@skepticusmaximus184
      In this case it probably really was just coincidence.
      But this type of influential advertising (or whatever it's really called) isn't new.

  • @PabloChocobar23
    @PabloChocobar23 2 года назад +2

    My guy dank

  • @davesmith4017
    @davesmith4017 2 года назад

    Mate, are ya any good? When ya coming to Brisneyland?

  • @TheSleepLes
    @TheSleepLes 2 года назад +3

    You talking about your mum in public,Jimmy? Jolly brave …😀

    • @Boris82
      @Boris82 2 года назад +4

      Not just his mom, your mom as well.
      A lot about yours to be honest.

  • @enikan73
    @enikan73 2 года назад

    It's intriguing - PAYED By RUclips... That "Thing" I keep hearing about! 😄
    😁 😂

  • @liamfairhall1062
    @liamfairhall1062 2 года назад

    Come to Australia jimmy

  • @fortuner123
    @fortuner123 2 года назад

    Surely that's not Jimmy Carr right at the end!

  • @ebaypolice8761
    @ebaypolice8761 2 года назад +1

    Jimmy Carr: you should be UK prime minister!

  • @geoffsmith9429
    @geoffsmith9429 2 года назад

    That bloke at the end is not him, tis an impostor

  • @janaenae1338
    @janaenae1338 2 года назад

    Long term✨🎉✨

  • @janaenae1338
    @janaenae1338 2 года назад +1

    💖💓💕💓💕💓💕💖

  • @darrenkellett
    @darrenkellett 2 года назад

    😂😂😂😂❤️❤️

  • @rob-890
    @rob-890 2 года назад

    I didn't know they did liposuction exclusively on the face

  • @noobandfriends2420
    @noobandfriends2420 2 года назад +6

    Jordan Peterson sent me here.

  • @PhoeniksStorm
    @PhoeniksStorm 2 года назад +2

    Genuinely thought he was a homosexual man

  • @sharked8831
    @sharked8831 2 года назад

    I thought this was Jimmy krsnkies clip how I end up here

  • @WhatTheFirstAidSpray
    @WhatTheFirstAidSpray 2 года назад +3

    Best jokes about your girlfriend? Better start with the easy ones... Which funnily enough.......

  • @komiismywaifu7616
    @komiismywaifu7616 2 года назад

    I don’t have any jokes about my girlfriend. I don’t have a girlfriend, but my name and profile said that already. I don’t care what you think I’m keeping it.

  • @oldguysmusic2929
    @oldguysmusic2929 2 года назад +5

    JImmy Carr looks a lot different than he did just a few years ago. Is it the haircut or maybe his girlfriend castrated him because of his jokes about her?

  • @mattyallen3396
    @mattyallen3396 2 года назад

    The sea gull has a gf?

  • @soloperformer5598
    @soloperformer5598 2 года назад

    Jimmy Carr tells jokes, I didn't know that.

  • @louis3141
    @louis3141 2 года назад +5

    I hope you use the money from RUclips to pay your taxes lol

  • @flashrobbie
    @flashrobbie 2 года назад

    Have some advertising revenue filter money, Jimmy Carr.

  • @coryparni3620
    @coryparni3620 2 года назад

    Jimmy found out his girlfriend was half romany and had to back pay our taxes

  • @jakeomara7079
    @jakeomara7079 2 года назад

    Vile man

  • @szymongrabarczyk3561
    @szymongrabarczyk3561 2 года назад

    I thought he was gay

  • @photofinish8607
    @photofinish8607 2 года назад

    He doesn't have a girlfriend.

  • @DataStorm1
    @DataStorm1 2 года назад

    No wonder you had tax problems, if you don't know how you get money from this platform...

  • @TikTok-lu7eu
    @TikTok-lu7eu 2 года назад

    he has a gf... I thought he was gay.

  • @slartybartfast1
    @slartybartfast1 2 года назад +1

    Fascists are quite funny 🤣

  • @bollix2k
    @bollix2k 2 года назад

    He ripped into the un vaxxed on netflix and for this I hope instant pharma takes care of him...

  • @daniellekiey-thomas1327
    @daniellekiey-thomas1327 2 года назад

    🤮

  • @artful1967
    @artful1967 2 года назад +1

    Have you not gone to the "Berhard Manning retirement home for comedians that are well past their sell by date" yet?

  • @williamhuey3205
    @williamhuey3205 2 года назад

    The laugh track sucks

  • @hhouser9783
    @hhouser9783 2 года назад

    More lame attempts at stand up.

  • @aaronroberts4264
    @aaronroberts4264 2 года назад +1

    This is not comedy I don't know what it is it's not funny

    • @marconigreenwood
      @marconigreenwood 2 года назад +15

      You should stick to mrs brown - more your style maybe

    • @Pwills
      @Pwills 2 года назад +21

      He’s definitely not a comedian for snowflakes that’s for sure, personally I think he is brilliant

    • @ThatChrissyGirl
      @ThatChrissyGirl 2 года назад +17

      Just because it isn't comedy to you, doesn't mean it isn't comedy. Personally think it's hilarious.

    • @fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810
      @fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810 2 года назад +6

      S U B J E C T I V E.

    • @Slash1066
      @Slash1066 2 года назад +7

      He's absolutely hilarious

  • @paulwilliams9381
    @paulwilliams9381 2 года назад

    I thought you were cancelled?

  • @kevincloar2443
    @kevincloar2443 2 года назад +1

    I don't see the appeal of this guy. He's painfully unfunny

    • @nicpilditch8961
      @nicpilditch8961 2 года назад +12

      Why do you watch them then. If you don't enjoy them dont watch them easy as that, there's no need to go on every video and make a negative comment.

    • @sirrathersplendid4825
      @sirrathersplendid4825 2 года назад +7

      @@nicpilditch8961 Jimmy Carr must have bullied him at school or something...

    • @nicpilditch8961
      @nicpilditch8961 2 года назад +6

      @@sirrathersplendid4825 Yeah haha, either that or he got destroyed when he heckled at a show.

    • @roystonrubble7103
      @roystonrubble7103 2 года назад +2

      Hes definitely funny although his double standards about BLM being off limits for comedy annoy the sh1t outta me

    • @fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810
      @fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810 2 года назад +3

      @@nicpilditch8961 alternative theory, it's Jimmy's missus with a fake profile.

  • @archimedeeznuts453
    @archimedeeznuts453 2 года назад +1

    Mate what is that thumbnail

  • @MsRetardedmidget
    @MsRetardedmidget 2 года назад +2

    He chose that thumbnail.

  • @Gabbyb1967
    @Gabbyb1967 2 года назад

    Gold