How our Relationships Shape Us by Dr. Dan Siegel

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  • Опубликовано: 11 дек 2024

Комментарии • 80

  • @lindasulpacio5737
    @lindasulpacio5737 Год назад +5

    I suffered childhood trauma and it has my world. So many bad decisions. Now, at the age of 73, I am in neobiofeed back therapy, EMDR, and talk therapy. I am seeing therapists about twice a week, as I continue to work 4 days a week. A lot of my money is spent on my therapy. I am depressed despite the therapy.

  • @melk.3485
    @melk.3485 3 года назад +38

    24:54 Interpersonal learning
    40:28 What is a relationship?
    1:07:38 Integration, "No!" experiment, reactive state, threat-response state - chaos and rigidity
    1:09:32 Importance of awareness, "The Yes Brain" book,
    1:10:37
    PART:
    Presence
    (open and receptive to what is happening, mindfulness)
    Attune
    (mindsight skills, empathy)
    Resonate
    (don't mirror, use healthy boundaries)
    Trust
    (constructive rather than destructive competition)

  • @anna-lisapersson7365
    @anna-lisapersson7365 2 года назад +6

    When he said 'No' - I felt confused, hurt and like I couldn't do anything. When he said 'Yes' I felt immediately a little happier and like I could continue with my life and was free. Wow, so powerful.

  • @carolapersoon7501
    @carolapersoon7501 Год назад +2

    There is so much in this.
    We are relationships.
    We are energy.
    And i so hope that have done well with my children.

  • @IvonaStec
    @IvonaStec 2 года назад +5

    Im in love! He is brilliant and that sense of humor fits so well. Well spoken soul. 💚

  • @reg8297
    @reg8297 3 года назад +12

    Am nearly 50 broken beyond belief trying to understand why I was abused as a child which created wrong beliefs unconsciously in my brain to think I was unworthy not valuable my hole life got destroyed over my childhood abuse I sit and ask why did I have to suffer so much I've had no kind caring healthy loving relationships in my life and can't hrlp but feel so bitter this is what I ended up with all cause my parent abused and ridiculed me when young she's sorry today but the damage is done and I fear for rest of my life I feel ill never get over what happened to me and what I lost out on in truthful loving relationships

    • @re-combobulate2358
      @re-combobulate2358 3 года назад +15

      Hi Reg, Thanks for sharing. I hear your pain. It's not too late to heal!
      I am 57 and damaged from family abuse and ridicule too. Hwvr, I healed and reclaimed personal agency over the last 7 years through a looking at, some counselling and studying studied "Somatic Experiencing."
      Please consider opening to possibility. You are a phoenix to me, give yourself a chance to bring it conscious. You have a right to find a safe non-threating way to heal.

    • @MY-wo9yb
      @MY-wo9yb 3 года назад +5

      It’s never to late to start - you can change that ⚠️

    • @suzimonkey345
      @suzimonkey345 3 года назад +6

      My best advise is to give to others. I know that sounds like it’s ‘straight outta California’ but there’s a lot of science to support it. Volunteer. Support. Nurture. For a start you will meet more compassionate people to bond with…

    • @Alphacentauri819
      @Alphacentauri819 3 года назад +2

      Check out the Personal Development School. She has a RUclips channel. I realized I had fearful avoidant attachment style.
      You can identify your core wounds, reprogram your subconscious programming...and therefore be empowered to change the narratives (lenses) in which you see yourself and the world.
      It’s so amazing & empowering.
      It is hard work, and I have to take breaks sometimes. Sometimes I stagnate, or backslide a little...but I’m so much farther along then when I started. I’d done tons of therapy, but nothing gave me the tools like this has.
      I’m currently working with a fantastic attachment theory informed therapist. Found her recently and it’s complementary to what I’m doing on my own. A good therapist is hard to find though.
      I’ve started doing some simple art work too, that is meant for expressing things that can’t be expressed verbally. The point isn’t to have a masterpiece, or be judgmental to self...but that they are about 5-10 minutes, intuitive, and just losing oneself in the moment.
      Initially i was a little dismissive, but wow...it’s powerful. It seems to tap into the non-verbal brain, and other things that need attention and processing.
      My heart goes out to you. I wish for you deep healing, hope, and renewal. You are worthy 💫

    • @brandykaiser3512
      @brandykaiser3512 2 года назад +1

      Read or Audio book, Getting the love that you want By Harville Hendrix!

  • @Oicameron31
    @Oicameron31 5 лет назад +37

    Brilliant talk, we need more of this in schools, perhaps then the teachers will understand were us teenagers are coming from

    • @suzimonkey345
      @suzimonkey345 3 года назад +3

      Maybe we could help by encouraging teenagers to have some understanding of where adults in their lives are coming from. I know that teen brains haven’t finished developing but empathy can be developed at early ages.

    • @yogithashetty2587
      @yogithashetty2587 3 года назад +1

      So true 👌🏻👏🏻

    • @sylviekaiser1064
      @sylviekaiser1064 2 года назад

      Keep your head up high! You are loved from both inside and out

    • @whirlingsu1
      @whirlingsu1 2 года назад +1

      I’m a new breed of mental health specialists working in schools- just mental health- no academic scheduling, etc
      Row’s and WAC’s were fairly recently passed post-Covid to address the alarming needs in schools ❤

    • @sunnyadams5842
      @sunnyadams5842 2 года назад

      @@whirlingsu1 Quadruple YAY!!!
      SOOO GOOD TO HEAR!!

  • @RL-jj4ec
    @RL-jj4ec 8 месяцев назад

    In healing modalities right hand is the giving hand and the left is the receiving hand. The right hand gives the healing energy to the heart and the left is pulling that energy to your core.

  • @mindfulnesswithiris
    @mindfulnesswithiris 10 месяцев назад

    Such an inspiring talk! Thank you! Much appreciated! I like the way Dr.Siegel's creativity in using the language to share his wisdom, e.g. deconstructing and reconstructing language (MWE), coming down to the deep layer of things with simplicity, thus connecting these concepts in an organic map, e.g. relationship is sharing of energy and information flow, brain is embodied mechanism of energy and information flow, love comes from differentiation and linkage, integration makes it visible the kindness and compassion, resonance using music notes.......too much content in it, the talk itself is an beautiful example of integration of multiple disciplines! Grateful for it!

  • @lisaj5769
    @lisaj5769 3 года назад +4

    part: presence, attune, resonance (feel with while maintaining differentiation), develop trust

  • @lor3999
    @lor3999 Год назад

    This guy is adorable. Smart yes, but wonderfully engaging.

  • @geraldineperea9773
    @geraldineperea9773 2 года назад +1

    I will listen to this at least three times a day!

  • @mikeprevez1839
    @mikeprevez1839 2 года назад +1

    Mind Blown, thanks Dan Siegal

  • @asuicidemachine
    @asuicidemachine 2 года назад +1

    I will be the light and the wax. 🙏

  • @wilsonrodrigues377
    @wilsonrodrigues377 4 года назад +6

    That's so powerfull it's curious the idea about saying Yes because those are the rules about improv forms, say YES AND creates GROWTH .

    • @vipermad358
      @vipermad358 3 года назад

      And we all know how everyone feels about improv. 🙄

  • @anuradhikaperera8691
    @anuradhikaperera8691 2 года назад +3

    Amazing! Privilege to listen ..

  • @yogithashetty2587
    @yogithashetty2587 3 года назад +9

    Amazing talk 🙏reminds me of sadhguru. They are all talking the same subject but in many different languages.

  • @ctboone1
    @ctboone1 2 года назад +2

    Which hand placement did the majority of the crowd say was the most comforting?

  • @philly111
    @philly111 2 года назад +2

    Thank you for this video, much appreciated!

  • @taniat245
    @taniat245 4 года назад +14

    can all of our world leaders watch this now during this horrific covid pandemic?

  • @monicatorres594
    @monicatorres594 3 года назад +1

    I love his candle analogy 💓

  • @kkeiter
    @kkeiter 3 года назад +3

    This man is a genius

  • @pernillegabel-jrgensen4079
    @pernillegabel-jrgensen4079 2 года назад +1

    Bringing such insight..🕯
    Amazing!!
    Thank You so much!😊🙏

  • @luzelmartinez9016
    @luzelmartinez9016 Год назад +2

    Soul fulfilling talk
    Much gratitude

  • @sadie9386
    @sadie9386 2 года назад +2

    I was interested in Dan's discussion about how mothers leave their children with trusted adults who are no blood relation. But how to explain why women sometimes leave their children with untrustworthy people?

  • @rachelw1624
    @rachelw1624 3 года назад +5

    What a fabulous mind 🙏

  • @MarioBros9339
    @MarioBros9339 10 месяцев назад

    Wonderful

  • @emilianocorradi4079
    @emilianocorradi4079 3 года назад +3

    Enormous... Thank you so much to sharing this stupendous and wise conference.

  • @danielraypickrel4316
    @danielraypickrel4316 5 лет назад +6

    "Thank you
    for your kind attention."

  • @yifatcarmi3380
    @yifatcarmi3380 4 года назад +1

    Consciousness=human experience=social collaboration

  • @lisaj5769
    @lisaj5769 3 года назад

    relational, subjectivity, body, energy and information

  • @GrandmothersGarden
    @GrandmothersGarden 2 года назад

    Pre-existence or Pre-mortality = Where we were before birth. Referred to for centuries by great leaders around the world.

  • @isabt4
    @isabt4 5 лет назад +3

    Wow! Brilliant talk! Thank you so much

  • @tayshaglass4755
    @tayshaglass4755 6 лет назад +3

    Great speech

  • @rildoborges9442
    @rildoborges9442 3 года назад +1

    It's means simple. I really like this idea. But we need our mind calm and passing for anything bad. For example. How can we make it if we lost someone?

  • @popcorn43
    @popcorn43 4 года назад +3

    Was left hand on top more soothing or not!?

    • @a_girlSWIRLING
      @a_girlSWIRLING 4 года назад +1

      Was wondering the same thing? Too bad we couldn’t see the room!

    • @Mary_Be93
      @Mary_Be93 2 года назад

      Found this in a transcript of a different talk: "Right on top. That’s about three-quarters of people are that way, independent of handedness. It’s so interesting. We don’t know why. One quarter is left on top."

  • @alexsansone6494
    @alexsansone6494 4 года назад

    Wow your great doctor you would of been an excellent medical Doctor as well

  • @visualsbyE
    @visualsbyE 3 года назад

    Loved this!

  • @lewisstreet7266
    @lewisstreet7266 4 года назад +3

    I am fascinated by the line of research advanced by Allan Schore, David Siegel and others, but I have to confess that whenever I have tried to watch David Siegal´s presentations I cannot stand it. He just goes on and one in circles and make this never endings tangential comments punctuated by personal stories and tales and I get frustrated and go like FUCK IT, I CANNOT STAND THIS GUY. Interestingly enough, I can watch Allan Schore for several hours and love it.

    • @caitiegreene5391
      @caitiegreene5391 3 года назад +2

      Hm. I like it 🙂 it feed relational and humorous to me, maybe that’s got something to do with my ‘ADD’ brain

    • @vipermad358
      @vipermad358 3 года назад +1

      I agree. This seems like complete bullshit.

    • @barbaraladams5304
      @barbaraladams5304 2 года назад +1

      But this is Dan (not David) Siegel.

  • @zoranmusic608
    @zoranmusic608 6 лет назад +3

    Uauu great speach.....

  • @edgreen8140
    @edgreen8140 3 года назад +1

    Your map of your village mate is called object relations in psychological speak. Please don't attribute qualities to that person that they don't have. If you do this repetatively- you have a personality disorder and chances are you are mislabeling your own feelings. You're also mislabeling the quantitative amount of your own feelings. 2 people just met a hour ago their opposite genders they have lust. Lets not jump and say its love and lets get married now. Judgment impaired.

  • @ss4181
    @ss4181 2 года назад

    💗

  • @ediggs504boys
    @ediggs504boys 2 года назад +2

    Interpersonal neurobiologist discovering what we eradicated from indigenous peoples.

    • @elamanecera
      @elamanecera 7 месяцев назад

      *white interpersonal neurobiologists, who enacted genocide on indigenous peoples because they were labeled « inferior »

  • @nancywysemen7196
    @nancywysemen7196 5 лет назад +3

    magnificent.

  • @anhumblemessengerofthelawo3858
    @anhumblemessengerofthelawo3858 6 лет назад +1

    grate speetch

  • @heatherrose4488
    @heatherrose4488 Год назад

    Why did anyone not say possibility to YES? lol The closest was potential. :)

  • @Trytocookthis
    @Trytocookthis 3 года назад +2

    We see you, BigBird. ;)

  • @tasneemzinoon3965
    @tasneemzinoon3965 5 лет назад +1

  • @carolapersoon7501
    @carolapersoon7501 Год назад

    How we care for the most vurnable....

  • @lorivandiveer9616
    @lorivandiveer9616 2 года назад

    Doesn't it make more sense to consider the village in the context of creation instead of evolution? Capacity of consciousness and awareness is best considered when you realize that conception was valued by the Creator.

  • @alicezhou5315
    @alicezhou5315 4 года назад +1

    mwe!!!

  • @Neti-Netti
    @Neti-Netti 2 года назад

    Nice entertainerw

  • @vipermad358
    @vipermad358 3 года назад

    WTF?!😂. I must be unenlightened. Seems like a bunch of bullshit.

  • @joyamdemikeal9448
    @joyamdemikeal9448 Год назад