SESSION 12: exposing our relationship issues & addressing the 'gold star' controversy
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- Опубликовано: 9 сен 2024
- THIS IS IT... THE SEASON FINALE!
In the last episode of the season, we dive into our deepest relationship issues and are the most vulnerable we've ever been on the internet. Its not easy to talk about these things publicly but we never want to paint an unrealistic image of our "perfect" relationships. We hope that sharing our struggles can help someone else who might be going through similar things in their relationship ❤️ We also address EVERYTHING about our 'gold star' video going viral and getting cancelled! We hope you guys have enjoyed this season just as much as we have & thank you from the bottom of our hearts to every single person that's watched, listened, and supported us on this WILD JOURNEY!
We'll be taking a little break but we'll be back for SEASON 2 🥰
LOVE YOU ALL SO DAMN MUCH
- Carl, Murph, Jim & Victor ❤️
find us on socials:
NOT UR THERAPIST: linktr.ee/notu...
Carley and Mercedes: linktr.ee/Carl...
Victoria Sabovitch: linktr.ee/Vict...
Jamie Fine: jamiefine.lnk....
The glitching during the audio quality discussion was chef's kiss👌🏻
i thought i was tweaking fr
LOL im cackling
Not the audio issues when talking about the audio issues😂 love you guys
Carley's patience and maturity ♡
Carley is so mature! And so funny! And so sympathetic! And so patient! And actually knows how to listen.
Also love the fact that you are talking so openly about your problems us a couple. Heroes!
I feel like i listened to a conversation i shouldnt have!
If we don't get season 2 next week, we will riot.
hahahahahah that part😂
'Fights are supposed to get better. Ours get worse & worse & worse. It'll never change' is a really wild way to look at your long-term relationship. It's an entirely defeatist attitude.
Carly is right; that kind of massive mental block is never going to promote growth, not when Murph is more agreeable to speaking with Jim about the relationship than Carly. (Side note: Jim seems so emotionally intelligent & self-aware as a person, especially while trying to oversee their dialogue).
Also, saying this without judgment; it really doesn’t bode well when a person scoffs & laughs at their partner for expressing their feelings. Couple therapists say the #1 sign a couple will not last is a lack of respect for one another's partners, i.e. eye-rolling.
Communication is what saves & strengthens a relationship, so giving up & saying it won't work, & you don't care if it works, is the equivalent of pushing your partner out of arms' reach. It's not just a mental block, but an emotional one. A 'why try' attitude serves no one.
“Taking away someone’s place in the world because you can’t find yours is never okay.”
- it’s the elegance in that statement.
You 4 should be so proud of who you are as people/individuals. This episode was full of arguments but accountability, passion but EDUCATION… I loved it. You 4 bring so much Intelligence to the table when you speak on different subjects and I love listening to you all every time you touch on sensitive subjects. Im sorry you get those select few assholes every now and again but with anything positive, there has to be negative. We wouldn’t know light without dark. So I guess thanks for the negativity because without them we wouldn’t have y’all’s hilarious comebacks sometimes lol
Keep going. Can’t wait for next season. ❤️
As a bisexual cisgender woman I can honestly say the section of this episode about being able to identify however you want and call yourself whatever you want without offending anybody is so validating. Pansexuality does not offend me AT ALL. If anything, I often feel so bad because I only like men and women that I’ve always thought I’m such a piece of shit for not including everybody in who I am attracted to. I’ve also dated nonbinary people so I’ve questioned like am I pansexual and not bisexual & the truth is I really don’t fucking know but I don’t have to because my definition of who I am can change & can be the only one that matters to me. So like ur not my therapist but thank you so much for that I literally teared up bc it’s been such an inner struggle for me 😭🫶🏼
Murph seems checked out from their relationship :(
yep :(
Nah. He just isn’t a big emotion guy.
I'm so glad they got their damn kiss. They're never gonna get over it now. ,😂😂😂
I hope Carl and Murph find a way to resolve their communication issues.
Spending some time apart every so often can definitely help. Even if it's just going for a walk by yourself for an hour or 2.
The chemistry between Mercedes and Jamie😍🤭. Love it.
i just wish/hope there was a spilt screen where we can see both sides of the couch at the same time.... instead of it cutting to vise versa....
Hate to say this but I have a feeling season 2 will be missing one of y’all. Love Jamie and Vics misssion to stay on track and keep working towards their relationship goals. ❤
The first 40 mins is just Mercedes and Carly fighting… hope y’all make it to season 2 😢
I really appreciate how honest you are on this podcast. Thanks guys for this season and I'm looking forward to the next one. Have a nice vacation
Guys, this is a gem of a podcast. You HAVE to keep it going!!
That ending was not expected but definitely appreciated 😂
Murph, you gotta want it. Much Love
I am so happy you showed up on my ig!!!! Loving this. Now there better be a season 2!!!!
Carly and Murph - something my wife and I do is we ONLY text about the kind of conflict you’re talking about here.
Like something murph said about a lack of patience is something I used to struggle with. And it’s because you feel like you’re wasting time talking about something that’s essentially a non issue but it COULD be so you need to talk it out.
Texting it out and still having space in the world outside of those texts to do what you’re doing and hang out. So it feels like it’s not taking up too much of your time. Also, texting prevents people from feeling like interrupting. Because you can’t interrupt. You have to read EVERYTHING the other person says before responding.
Just something to think about. Love you guys ❤
You guys should have merch next season! ❤ I love you guys so much! I always look forward to the podcast. I can’t wait for season 2 🎉 Safe travels y’all ❤
Jamie, can you give your therapists info because your self awareness is chefs kiss lol… (i’m very serious😂)
I agree with Jamie with everything she said about the gold star lesbian discussion %100!
Vic and Jamie, the Johannesburg show was litt, just a completely different level. I love your podcast.
Thanks for having the hard conversations and being so authentic and vulnerable with us. Love all of you! Can't wait for season 2, hopefully with some guest speakers as well, that would be interesting.
I love this podcast sm it’s not even funny.. time to rewatch until never season, don’t leave us too long !!
Damn who knows if this podcast will actually come back.. there was definitely a lot of tension in the entire group 😢
being able to do things on your own is power.
the finale🥺 I'll miss u guys! enjoy the break
Carl's initial reaction to Vic leaning in before the kiss hahahaha thank y'all for an incredible first season. cant wait for season 1's bloopers next week ;)
Love you all! I think Carly and Mercedes should maybe try this. When you guys are finding yourself in that "conflict". Grab a talking stick and only one talks at a time. And then when it's the next person's turn, give yourself 2 minutes to think about what was said, and what you are going to say next♡ Thanks for being here♡
Holy shit, you guys! I just blew through season 1 in 2 days. Most excellent. This goldstar controversy is wild. I've had the conversation about the inability to talk about things because someone gets offended. Open dialogue is hard work because you have to keep yourself out of your own ass and keep your emotions in check. I'm 42 and our generation fought labels. The younger generations are bringing them back with a vengence. You're right on the topic of division of the community. It's even hard to show support because some butthole will whataboutism regardless of the topic. Cheers!
lmaooooo the words "audio issue" sounding like chips being eaten 😂 EDIT: also, loved the season, awesome podcast!
Great season. Lovely to meet y’all! Can’t wait for more:) Thank you for your honesty, openness, love, respect, humor….
This episode was fantastic. It’s totally the way I feel about triggers, managing them and division in the community.
I love discussions like this because it pushes me as an individual to understand different points of view. I may not agree/disagree with you but listening to your point of view helps me understand more of my view. Thank you so much for hiting these points for me to grow as a individual.
What a way to end the season! Cant wait for the next! Thank you all for this podcast!
Uhhh, yall need to start season 2 pleaseeeeee🫶🥹
You should add a story from a listener segment in the new season! I think a lesbian horror story or awful experience being read out and reacted to at the end of each episode would be so funny! I have a feeling the listeners have some gooooood stories up their sleeves 🙏🏻❤
Jamie becomes tomato in realtime at the end: 😳->🍅
Jamie turned the colour of Murphs tracksuit at the end there omg 😂😂 perfect season finale i must say 🤌
Not Your Therapists -> Not Your Clients ?
You should have seen my face in the beginning when Jim put her mouth on her mic😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹
A big thank you to each & everyone of you for this podcast... I have throughly enjoyed each & every episode, as it's an interesting insight into your lives, & the vulnerability y'all share with us is amazing, so thank you for that also....
I already can't wait for season 2 to roll around...
I agree with you all re the discussion on what you want to be called Isn't it up to THAT individual person & NO-ONE else, I really don't understand these keyboard warriors at all (they do my head in)....
Take care in South Africa, Jamie & Vic hope it's a great tour...
Cheers from Upside Down 🙃
I love the name Clients! Can't wait for season 2!! CHEERS QUEERS!!!!!!
IM OBSESSED WITH THE ENDING I LOVE YALL HAHAHHA
Petition to get Rhondas contact info -> 👍
Thank you so much for having this podcast and putting yourselves out there. This is the first podcast I have listened to and the only reason is because you are all so open and honest about being queer. I have learned and can relate to so much of what yall talk about. patiently, not so patiently, waiting for season two (have been waiting for that ending since episode one)🩵
How are you gonna top this season finale next time Vic and carl staring an OF 👀👀😂
… so sad to see Carley not being validated, yes it’s understandable to have anxiety but YES totally valid to be upset when you’re exited about something and your partner is not… both things can be true yet being empathetic and gentle with each other and how you word things matters
“It’s on the car” 😂😂😂😂 I would’ve lost it too
It finally happened hahaha 🤯🤯🤯
Honestly almost dropped my coffee 😂😂😂
Another great episode 😃
This is literally the perfect finale 🤩
Can’t wait for season 2
Love this podcast,you guys are amazing 🫶🏼
Not the audio issue at 3:59😂😂
i love this podcast so much and i cannot wait for season 2
Can’t wait for season two 😁
Love your show. Thank you all
Season 2 comes back and they all switch partners because of that damn kiss they wanted so bad! Y'all trying to fuck around and find out! 😅
Love this podcast! ❤
Its ironic that the finale episode actually feels like a therapy session 😂
Finally they kissed
Its so sad that you had to have the conversation to explain why you said something that's personal to you OMG stop being sensitive en just be confident in your self then things won't offend you. Keeo being true to yourselfs you guys are amazing
i will also second that i will riot if there is not a second season!
OML Same that's why I whole-heartedly avoid psychological films and horror films my o my
well... that was awkward
i love u guys so much ❤❤
THIS WAS FUCKING AWESOME, CAN'T WAIT TILL SEASON 2🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Love this podcast 👏 👏 👏 ❤
Where are you guys 😢?
WHEN IS SEASON 2 THO??
this episode kinda gave me PTSD I still loved watching it but the segment of Carly and Mercedes trying to resolve their communication really brought up some trauma :(
AMAZING!!! You should be proud of yourselves! I am obsessed with this podcast and appreciate you all being honest! Can not wait for next season! Yes I like Clients!
You guys should have vic and carl kiss at the end of every season finale 👀
First one let's gooo and i just want to say as a bisexual i respect pansexual and also some peope just dont have a sexual orientation they just love who they love okay.
I love you guys. This is the only podcast I’ve watched every episode of. I’m a typical SJW snowflake, and I’ve never been offended by any of your episodes ❤
No one is responsible for your triggers except for yourself and if I want to call myself Queen of Pomeranians or whatever I want then that’s what I’m going to call myself and there is 0 reason that should affect anyone else. As long as you’re not ACTUALLY hurting anyone then do whatever the heck you want
Im with murph honestly, i kinda felt manipulation from carly’s side at 17:30 when she said “it’s difficult for me when im excited about something and you dont care” even tho murph expressed to her that she had anxiety about the eclipse i think, bc carly then went to say at 17:51 “you couldnt come downstairs to stay in the house, when i was calling u said no” when murph said no bc she didnt want to but still went downstairs for the eclipse. Murph did mention that carly doesnt listen just speaks back and i see it. I think murph doesnt have patience to talk things over bc of instances like this. I went thru very similar relationships and i understand how murph feels very well. Hope they cant figure it out
Love it ❤
Me waiting for season two 👀 😂
I think pple get offended by the gold star term because it touches upon some of the patriarchal crap that we've fought so hard to get rid of. Particuarly around women's worth being based on her purity/ viginity, and women's internalised shame as a result of it. 'Gold star' naturally has connotations of perfection and better than. Words have power. Can we not just change the wording?
yall need to come to LA in the summer pride month😎🏳️🌈☀️🌊👙🏖️
The problem is people want to put everyone in a specific group and make everyone have the same experiences and ideias. Not every straight person has the same experiences so why should lesbians or trans or anyone else ? I think the representation is important, labels are needed, they’re meant to help, to include people not the other way around. Everyone is behaving like you need to check all these marks to be able to label yourself this and that. Like oh you have a preference for woman ? You can’t be bisexual or pan you’re a lesbian. Oh you mostly date man ? You’re not queer. If you had non consensual sex you can’t be a golden star lesbian. At some point people need to remind theirselves how far the queer community has come, remind themselves that there’s a difference between personalities, sexualities, identities … as Jamie said, not all Christian’s are homophobic, not every white conservative is racist. We should all be free to identify as we want even if it offends you cause you think we don’t check all the characteristics you think we need.
Peace, Love, Gold Star Lesbians ❤✌🏼
I looked straight at the solar clip now ever since my eyes still hurt
Ur not our therapists and we’re not ur clients…🙄 we’re rhoda’s clients!
That would be the inside joke between the fandom. Is that we’re called Clients but we’re not yours 😂
do you guys also support a free palestine? 🇵🇸 /gen
Not ur clients
1:05:53 : As an African American female apart of the lgbtq+ community I feel as if race and gender are brought up in lots of things. It’s definitely brought out more when it comes to things dealing with people being able to freely express themselves “without repercussions”. For many years people of the black community felt as if we had to shrink ourselves and seem less than our white counterparts. While this may have been true at a point in time it is no longer the case. I feel as if things stem a lot from generational trauma amongst other things that have happened within the past. While all of these issues have an importance to a certain degree, it seems as if we are stuck on making everyone else feel bad about things we are starting to become removed from. I understand that slavery, oppression, discrimination, and racism still occur to this day, but at what point do we begin to remove ourselves from these things. The whole agenda as a community is to become strong and not fall into the patterns “the system” has created. It makes no sense to try and justify something with the “image” we’re trying to recreate. I understand the things that have happened in the past, but at what point are we going to stop blaming things on people who are just as far removed from sociopolitical issues (historical events) that us as a black community are? (sorry for the little rant luv u guys
It’s common for African Americans (from what i’ve experienced) to victimize themselves when that’s the issue we want to solve. It’s a very frustrating cycle that causes us to be in the sociopolitical situation we’re in now.
I may or may not have come back just to watch the end…. 🫣