Brokeback Mountain is devastatingly sad as is, but with Ledger's passing it has become almost impossibly devastating for me to bear. You see, when I watch a film where a character passes away, I desperately try to console myself with the thought that the actor himself is actually alive and well. I doubt I'm the only one who employs this technique. It's like a defence mechanism against sadness, for those who, like me, are greatly affected by the stories told in films. Only, with this film, it no longer works. The thought that Jack Twist was only a fictitious character and that Gyllenhaal is thankfully alive and well is of great consolation of course. However, the thought that Ledger passed away at such a tragically young age is heartbreaking. What an amazing man with so much to give, of which he had already given much during his relatively brief but truly brilliant career. Forever loved and greatly missed. RIP
This comment is 5 years old but whatever XD This is quite literally how Jake Gyllenhaal became my favourite actor for a little while. I was so sad for his characters death in the movie and had to look up an interview of him and I was just so happy he was alive. And through that I became a bit obsessed with him.
His passing affected me so much too. I even remember how I found out, I was 16 years old then. I was a total “fangirl”, I had pictures of Jake and Heath all over my computer haha. He is the sole “celebrity death” that will follow me through life, I think. And I always check on his daughter Matilda at least once a year. I know paparazzi are horrible but somehow it’s consoling to know that she’s thriving and growing.
You don't need to be gay to recognize that BBM is the most honest love movie ever. It's just a movie about a man who falls in love, and in the name of that love he gives it all, even his life. I'm a straight guy, but never before have I watched a movie with a love message as pure and honest as this one.
I just finished Brokeback. Lord, what a sad and moving movie. I just had to find out who sings this beautiful yet eerie song... So here I am. Glad to have found it!! 💕
peloquin1979 There's truth and power in artistic inspiration. People are generally afraid of that kind of Truth, because it reminds them that they are not in charge of the universe. Its why music scores like "Rudy" and "Unforgiven" aren't nominated for Academy Awards. Too much "secular divinity" in them. It scares people.
As the second music cue in the end credits, it wasn't eligible. According to the Academy Rules for the Original Song award (Rule 15) it has to be either "used in the body of the motion picture or as the first music cue in the end credits."
Anyone who was ever forced to be away from someone they love must surely love this song. It expresses with simplicity and elegance that painful feeling. I love it.
I just listened again after 19 years and I'm sobbing uncontrollably. This song is so beautiful, and so evocative of the film, the whole thing just crashed over me again. That's a powerful song. (And film. Perfect marriage.)
"One more chain I break, to get me closer to you. One more chain does the maker make, to keep me from bustin' through". So true. Frankly the saddest song ever written.
Ho passato quasi 1 anno in clinica e ospedale per un intervento al NEURINOMA, ma la tua musica e il tuo talento non mi hanno lasciato mai.Mi hai dato TANTO CORAGGIO Rufus,grazie❤
Beautiful song by a supremely talented man. Rufus is actually American by birth. Born in New York state. His dad, Loudon, is a famous American folk singer. His mother was Kate McGarrigle, another famous folk singer, and a Canadian who died in January of 2010. Rufus lived with his mother and sister in Canada, after his parents divorced when he was 3 or 4. So, perhaps he holds dual citizenship, but he was born in the US and now lives in NYC.
Ledger's death made this movie impossibly painful. Following his life, you could see how he struggled with his sexuality and unfortunately, it ended in the Hollywood fashion. As a gay man, it is beyond words sad to see such a promising light extinguished so soon and so needlessly. RIP, HL.
I want to tear my chest apart as I am listening to this song. This is how much it relates to me and my long lost feelings towards a long long lost man I used to love so dearly... Thank you Rufus for being so real.
brokeback mountain was a masterpiece and this song fits the mood of the movie . My heart was broken watching it and hearing this song . I love you Ennis and Jack , this is a reminder that life should be live with no regrets. Risk and freely express yourself no matter what it takes. God bless and Mwah.
@Rufus Wainwright i cannot believe that i got a reply from you! Unbelievable!! I only wish i could see you in person.. but unfortunately i live in india.
I hope Rufus is grateful to his parents for not only his genetics, but the rigorous training that his father dragged him through. It has made him into something amazing.
I read that his father divorced his mother and left he and his sister when Rufus was about 3. Then they moved up to Canada, and he didn't spend much time with his dad. They weren't sharing custody. So, how could that be?
Absolutely love this song. Warm, heart felt and relevant. Brokeback Mountain was so beautifully sad especially knowing that Heath isn't here to celebrate it.
One more chain I break, to get me closer to you One more chain does the maker make, to keep me from bustin' through One more notch I scratch, to keep me thinkin' of you One more notch does the maker make, upon my face so blue Get along little doggies, get along little doggies One more smile I fake, 'n try my best to be glad One more smile does the maker make, because he knows I'm sad Oh Lord, how I know, Oh Lord, how I see, that only can the maker make a happy man of me Get along little doggies, get along little doggies, get along
Here Martinus from the netherlands, the most beautifull love story ever seen seen it many times, make me always sad and hope for a happy end, envy, a love like that.
Rufus Wainwright. Singer songwriter. This tune and it’s performance here is something very special, imbedded in selflessness and vulnerability as it is. Creative and, therefore, God-like. I’m content to be alive to witness it.
What means much to me about their 'relationship' is how despite all kind of turns, it ends up staying because it's a real 'love' and connection they have. This move should have won!
Rufus, I just wanted to check up on you because I haven't in a long time, and I'm very happy to say that like a fine wine, you have only improved w/time from your voice down to the grace in your face, love you:)
One more chain I break To get me closer to you One more chain does the maker make To keep me from bustin' through One more notch I scratch To keep me thinkin' of you One more notch does the maker make Upon my face so blue Get along, little doggies Get along, little doggies One more smile I fake And try my best to be glad One more smile does the maker make Because he knows I'm sad Oh Lord, how I know Oh Lord, how I see That only can the maker make A happy man of me Get along little doggies Get along little doggies Get along
@@billyhndrsn4542 why are you being so rude like that? What’s your problem? I asked you a question, it’s a conversation starter. Your comment is a year old, I didn’t know if you were going to answer it. It was already months old when first saw it. I mean just take the fact that it took you 9 months to reply only to say you won’t. That right there shows you there really was no point in laying my interpretation all out and investing on a thoughtful first reply when I don’t know if you are even going to reply/ take it seriously and be a decent person who is able to have a nice discussion about it. Had you answered it appropriately and showed me you are active on yt and interested in this conversation and asked me back I would have done exactly the same. But there was no point in laying it all out to an old comment from someone I don’t even know is alive to respond in the first place. Your very response proves there is no point in investing in a thoughtful reply to an original comment when you don’t know if the person is up for talking to you and yet you base your response (or lack thereof) on the fact that I didn’t write a thoughtful comment to you. You are the one who made that comment. It’s reasonable to feel curious about it. It’s unreasonable and unnecessarily rude to reply back saying “no, I won’t answer it because you didn’t answer your own question to me first”. It’s like, when someone asks your name there are many times they won’t say theirs first, they’ll just say, “what’s your name” and you will tell them and go, “what’s yours” and that’s when they say theirs. Or are you telling me that you are the only person in the world who will go, “first tell me yours or I won’t tell you my name because you didn’t tell me yours first”? Like, wtf? Who would do that? What is wrong w you? Haven’t your parents taught you how to interact with people? What is the point of your initial comment if you aren’t going to interact with others when they ask you about it? What a gross person you are that you choose to have this reaction for literally no reason other than to be rude to someone who has not done anything to you? I take offense to this. You are a rude person who hurt me because you are treating me unkindly when I don’t deserve it. I asked you a question because I’m actually interested in sharing our interpretations of this song. And you caught me at a very fragile moment and you hurt my feelings. You should not be randomly rude like that to someone when they don’t even know what they might be going through. You are not a nice person. Gross. Just gross. And under such a beautiful song from an amazing movie and yet here you are, acting this way. You’ve learned nothing. Gross.
In order to appreciate the meanings in this song, you should see the movie it was written for - Brokeback Mountain. It's a love song of two cowboys, but the love of one cowboy is not reciprocated in a way he desires it, which is the subject of this lament.
Thank you for getting to the point. I swear people read so much into things and just don't have a clue what they are talking about. This song goes hand and hand with the movie. It's perfect and beautiful.
A nice touch that the background flashes white only at the end when he calls to the Lord by name, and one more flash in his final reference to The Maker.
@ifyoucantfixit i'm sorry about your friend but i'm glad you were able to find some sort of peace through wainwrights music :) i believe that's what its really for
First thing I have know idea what the comment's below are on about.Jack I swear?? how knows! My comment is where have they been hiding this guy!!! Why is this artist not all over the charts.. I wonder if the music industry can be this blind, my answer is yes! To you the Music industry STOP feeding what you think sells in that week of culture, we are being deprived of some great music and you are stunting the growth of real talent and what the next generation will use as their marker for great music and continue learning from the greats! Rufus if you read these posts I'm not sure? you must take this industry on, and let people all over your music. It's well over due that we are feed what the industry think we want and let the real artist take the stage. Love your music
This song reminds me of such a horrific time. Horrific spooky time in my life. But on a Sunday afternoon. On CBC radio. It was okay. A long nap. It was all okay. The window was still there to absorb the sun. I used to know Rufus. When I was a teenager. Waking to this song.. My friend was deadly asleep on the other side of the couch. I wanted him 2 wake up. I was sick. Back to the..... It was a few moments of safety and calm not alone. But completley alone. Was a long time ago. Scary time ago.
The final scene of Brokeback Mountain breaks my heart every time I watch it.
Walter Bianco ❤️It is very simple, but powerful at the same time. ❤️Love taken away...
Here I am alone, thinking of Jack and Ennis, the final scene with the shirts...and am crying....
+Martin Kennedy That scene gets me every time...actually the whole movie does...very, very underrated flick. I really consider it a classic.
i cried, when jack´s mother invited him to come back one time. she understood..
Yeah, the father was a duck. But, his Mom was sweet
Me too
Martin Kennedy what movie is that?
Brokeback Mountain is devastatingly sad as is, but with Ledger's passing it has become almost impossibly devastating for me to bear. You see, when I watch a film where a character passes away, I desperately try to console myself with the thought that the actor himself is actually alive and well. I doubt I'm the only one who employs this technique. It's like a defence mechanism against sadness, for those who, like me, are greatly affected by the stories told in films. Only, with this film, it no longer works. The thought that Jack Twist was only a fictitious character and that Gyllenhaal is thankfully alive and well is of great consolation of course. However, the thought that Ledger passed away at such a tragically young age is heartbreaking. What an amazing man with so much to give, of which he had already given much during his relatively brief but truly brilliant career. Forever loved and greatly missed. RIP
Brokeback mountain scared me
This comment is 5 years old but whatever XD This is quite literally how Jake Gyllenhaal became my favourite actor for a little while. I was so sad for his characters death in the movie and had to look up an interview of him and I was just so happy he was alive. And through that I became a bit obsessed with him.
His passing affected me so much too. I even remember how I found out, I was 16 years old then. I was a total “fangirl”, I had pictures of Jake and Heath all over my computer haha. He is the sole “celebrity death” that will follow me through life, I think. And I always check on his daughter Matilda at least once a year. I know paparazzi are horrible but somehow it’s consoling to know that she’s thriving and growing.
You don't need to be gay to recognize that BBM is the most honest love movie ever. It's just a movie about a man who falls in love, and in the name of that love he gives it all, even his life. I'm a straight guy, but never before have I watched a movie with a love message as pure and honest as this one.
bit gay
I just finished Brokeback. Lord, what a sad and moving movie. I just had to find out who sings this beautiful yet eerie song... So here I am. Glad to have found it!! 💕
How this song got passed over for an Academy Award nomination is a mystery.
very underrated performer too. I just don't get why acts like Justin Beiber get attention, while beautiful music like this passes people by. :(
peloquin1979 There's truth and power in artistic inspiration. People are generally afraid of that kind of Truth, because it reminds them that they are not in charge of the universe. Its why music scores like "Rudy" and "Unforgiven" aren't nominated for Academy Awards. Too much "secular divinity" in them. It scares people.
peloquin1979 Probably because homophobes wouldn't understand (hear) perfection if it hit them over the head with a 2 X 4.
As the second music cue in the end credits, it wasn't eligible. According to the Academy Rules for the Original Song award (Rule 15) it has to be either "used in the body of the motion picture or as the first music cue in the end credits."
kundry07 That's too bad.
Anyone who was ever forced to be away from someone they love must surely love this song. It expresses with simplicity and elegance that painful feeling. I love it.
I just listened again after 19 years and I'm sobbing uncontrollably. This song is so beautiful, and so evocative of the film, the whole thing just crashed over me again. That's a powerful song. (And film. Perfect marriage.)
A movie about two people who loved each other so much, yet could never be together.
"One more chain I break, to get me closer to you. One more chain does the maker make, to keep me from bustin' through". So true. Frankly the saddest song ever written.
Whenever I need a good cry..I go to Brokeback. Lovely.
Ho passato quasi 1 anno in clinica e ospedale per un intervento al NEURINOMA, ma la tua musica e il tuo talento non mi hanno lasciato mai.Mi hai dato TANTO CORAGGIO Rufus,grazie❤
Beautiful song by a supremely talented man. Rufus is actually American by birth. Born in New York state. His dad, Loudon, is a famous American folk singer. His mother was Kate McGarrigle, another famous folk singer, and a Canadian who died in January of 2010. Rufus lived with his mother and sister in Canada, after his parents divorced when he was 3 or 4. So, perhaps he holds dual citizenship, but he was born in the US and now lives in NYC.
Dude breaks my heart every time I hear this.
I adore You, Mr. Wainwright. Thank You for your sensibility. Thank You for your sensitivity. Thank You...
Rip all my good friends....😢
This beautiful ballad absolutely devastates me. Magnificent.
There ain't never enough time, never enough...
"Jack, I swear."
Saw it today after so many years jack I swear. It broke my heart again!
god this so sad
😞😞😞
Ledger's death made this movie impossibly painful. Following his life, you could see how he struggled with his sexuality and unfortunately, it ended in the Hollywood fashion. As a gay man, it is beyond words sad to see such a promising light extinguished so soon and so needlessly. RIP, HL.
I want to tear my chest apart as I am listening to this song. This is how much it relates to me and my long lost feelings towards a long long lost man I used to love so dearly... Thank you Rufus for being so real.
Tell you what... the truth is... sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it.
Such a beautiful song, Rufus has a voice that touches the soul and fills your heart.
This song makes me very sad but I also feel some comfort in very strange way
brokeback mountain was a masterpiece and this song fits the mood of the movie . My heart was broken watching it and hearing this song . I love you Ennis and Jack , this is a reminder that life should be live with no regrets. Risk and freely express yourself no matter what it takes. God bless and Mwah.
Wow. What a beautiful performance of a beautiful song. Rufus has incredible control of his voice and knows just how to use it.
This is a hauntingly beautiful song crafted by a master lyricist and poet.
I get cold chills and goose bumps when I listen to this song, and, yes... tears in my eyes!
his voice is so haunting in a peculiar way, full of desire and longing.
Oh but when he looks at you when he sings...lord i get the chills😍😍i wish i knew how to quit you rufus..
@Rufus Wainwright i cannot believe that i got a reply from you! Unbelievable!!
I only wish i could see you in person.. but unfortunately i live in india.
Devastatingly beautiful. Wow
That's the most beautiful sad song I cry every time
I never tire of this song, and of Rufus's beautiful voice.
Sad, yes. But oh, so wonderful.
I hope Rufus is grateful to his parents for not only his genetics, but the rigorous training that his father dragged him through. It has made him into something amazing.
I read that his father divorced his mother and left he and his sister when Rufus was about 3. Then they moved up to Canada, and he didn't spend much time with his dad. They weren't sharing custody. So, how could that be?
This is my new favourite song - Rufus is a genius like no other.
A lyrical and musical genius. Beautiful song.
Absolutely love this song. Warm, heart felt and relevant. Brokeback Mountain was so beautifully sad especially knowing that Heath isn't here to celebrate it.
I had lost and finally found this song again. Evert time it's incredible to listen to...
This is one of your, our best songs. Love the song. Love your voice. What we all stand for.
One more chain I break, to get me closer to you
One more chain does the maker make, to keep me from bustin' through
One more notch I scratch, to keep me thinkin' of you
One more notch does the maker make, upon my face so blue
Get along little doggies, get along little doggies
One more smile I fake, 'n try my best to be glad
One more smile does the maker make, because he knows I'm sad
Oh Lord, how I know,
Oh Lord, how I see, that only can the maker make a happy man of me
Get along little doggies, get along little doggies, get along
Sublime❤
One of the best songs ever written and recorded.
Thank You Mr. Wainwright for being the special person you are and a great Musical genius as well!!!
Here Martinus from the netherlands, the most beautifull love story ever seen seen it many times, make me always sad and hope for a happy end, envy, a love like that.
Absolutely love this song.
Just ugh.
Today is the 10th anniversary of the premiere of Brokeback Mountain and I am looking back for memory with this movie, start with this first :'(
It's so beautiful that I can't help but cry.
This is indeed a beautiful song and with Rufus wainwright singing it makes it extra beautiful.
Rufus Wainwright. Singer songwriter. This tune and it’s performance here is something very special, imbedded in selflessness and vulnerability as it is. Creative and, therefore, God-like. I’m content to be alive to witness it.
Magnificent performance of Rufus! Incredible voice and talent! Amazing Rufus! We love you!
hes so underrated . i love him so much!!!
What means much to me about their 'relationship' is how despite all kind of turns, it ends up staying because it's a real 'love' and connection they have. This move should have won!
This song and video is nothing short of beautiful.
'The chains that break you, are the chains that make you. And the chains that make you, are the chains you break.'
It's so hard to have a favourite song of Rufus'... I love them all! But this is fast becoming my favourite!
Love his look in this video, too!
the song make me sad....and Rufus voice was perfect match to the song .
How can i don't love this......the song and the film.
Deeply moving! There is some universal truth about it that will make this song endure.
I swear, if there is something equivalent to Satie in Pop music it is totally this. Tearfully beautiful, bravo!!!
Thank you 'TMJ' for this gift. No mother could be more blessed. See you Mothers Day!
Divino como siempre para mi fortuna.Disfruto tanto al escucharte como se disfruta algo deslizado del cielo.😊😊🤗🌹💎.👑.
Beautiful lyrics, beautiful voice - heartbreaking message.
Hauntingly beautiful.
Rufus, I just wanted to check up on you because I haven't in a long time, and I'm very happy to say that like a fine wine, you have only improved w/time from your voice down to the grace in your face, love you:)
I'm listening to this in May 2020 and it still hits me like a ton of bricks. So haunting and sad.
I am amazed at this talent! What show is extraordinary! Outstanding!
Still a brilliant song Going Gliding Tommorowwww
One more chain I break
To get me closer to you
One more chain does the maker make
To keep me from bustin' through
One more notch I scratch
To keep me thinkin' of you
One more notch does the maker make
Upon my face so blue
Get along, little doggies
Get along, little doggies
One more smile I fake
And try my best to be glad
One more smile does the maker make
Because he knows I'm sad
Oh Lord, how I know
Oh Lord, how I see
That only can the maker make
A happy man of me
Get along little doggies
Get along little doggies
Get along
Thank you ♡
Just watched the movie...againnn. Hard to watch knowing how it ends and that Heath is not here anymore. Very powerful experience sight and sound.
what an artist ,beautiful.
Rufus, this song is heartbreakingly beautiful. It tells me everything about how Jack coped for 20 years, now how Ennis will cope for his days.
Really? I feel it’s the other way around. I feel this song is about ennis and his struggles. Can you walk me through your interpretation?
@@thatgirlreacts5465 you can walk me through your interpretation.
@@billyhndrsn4542 why would I do that when you haven’t done what I asked you?
@@thatgirlreacts5465 BINGO ! That is my sentiment on your questions. You have your interpretation, I have mine. Good day.
@@billyhndrsn4542 why are you being so rude like that? What’s your problem? I asked you a question, it’s a conversation starter. Your comment is a year old, I didn’t know if you were going to answer it. It was already months old when first saw it. I mean just take the fact that it took you 9 months to reply only to say you won’t. That right there shows you there really was no point in laying my interpretation all out and investing on a thoughtful first reply when I don’t know if you are even going to reply/ take it seriously and be a decent person who is able to have a nice discussion about it. Had you answered it appropriately and showed me you are active on yt and interested in this conversation and asked me back I would have done exactly the same. But there was no point in laying it all out to an old comment from someone I don’t even know is alive to respond in the first place. Your very response proves there is no point in investing in a thoughtful reply to an original comment when you don’t know if the person is up for talking to you and yet you base your response (or lack thereof) on the fact that I didn’t write a thoughtful comment to you. You are the one who made that comment. It’s reasonable to feel curious about it. It’s unreasonable and unnecessarily rude to reply back saying “no, I won’t answer it because you didn’t answer your own question to me first”. It’s like, when someone asks your name there are many times they won’t say theirs first, they’ll just say, “what’s your name” and you will tell them and go, “what’s yours” and that’s when they say theirs. Or are you telling me that you are the only person in the world who will go, “first tell me yours or I won’t tell you my name because you didn’t tell me yours first”? Like, wtf? Who would do that? What is wrong w you? Haven’t your parents taught you how to interact with people?
What is the point of your initial comment if you aren’t going to interact with others when they ask you about it? What a gross person you are that you choose to have this reaction for literally no reason other than to be rude to someone who has not done anything to you? I take offense to this. You are a rude person who hurt me because you are treating me unkindly when I don’t deserve it. I asked you a question because I’m actually interested in sharing our interpretations of this song. And you caught me at a very fragile moment and you hurt my feelings. You should not be randomly rude like that to someone when they don’t even know what they might be going through. You are not a nice person.
Gross. Just gross. And under such a beautiful song from an amazing movie and yet here you are, acting this way. You’ve learned nothing. Gross.
A very simple music video... yet, the music fits in and the I can see the emotion through Rufus. This reminds me of Someone Like You by Adele.
He's on tour don't miss it!
tout simplement sublime, à chaque fois que j'écoute cette chanson ,elle me bouleverse ...
Great Piano, Great Voice, Great Melody, Great Jahosafats!!!
looks and sounds like something from a fever dream...those eyes of his!!! I would not want to be cured from that fever....
This is a beautiful song. Keep it going Rufus
Rufus Wainwright brought me here.
This song can pretty much be the theme song of my life.
Tanta alma y vida le pones a esta cancion que todos los que tenemos la suerte de escucharte quedamos impregnados de tristeza.EMI ARBO.
In order to appreciate the meanings in this song, you should see the movie it was written for - Brokeback Mountain. It's a love song of two cowboys, but the love of one cowboy is not reciprocated in a way he desires it, which is the subject of this lament.
Thank you for getting to the point. I swear people read so much into things and just don't have a clue what they are talking about. This song goes hand and hand with the movie. It's perfect and beautiful.
Ennis & Jack!
Brokeback Mountain
I will be at SomervilleTheatre, June 18th YES!
Exquisite!
nobody's business, but us.
Brokeback Mountain brought me here!
me too bro
And me!
Ok
is it correct to cry everytime i listen to it? i fucking love it and hate it at the same time... always makes me cry... 😭😭
Jack fuking Twist...
miss you guys :(
One day, the water will rush to shore. But for the first time, I will not be there to meet it.
A nice touch that the background flashes white only at the end when he calls to the Lord by name, and one more flash in his final reference to The Maker.
Thank you so much :)
i LOVE YOU RUFUS!
@ifyoucantfixit i'm sorry about your friend but i'm glad you were able to find some sort of peace through wainwrights music :) i believe that's what its really for
This guy is fantastic!
Very wise comment mate! People are people, judge 'em for that and that only!
gotta love Rufus !
great!
simply dreamy
First thing I have know idea what the comment's below are on about.Jack I swear?? how knows! My comment is where have they been hiding this guy!!! Why is this artist not all over the charts.. I wonder if the music industry can be this blind, my answer is yes! To you the Music industry STOP feeding what you think sells in that week of culture, we are being deprived of some great music and you are stunting the growth of real talent and what the next generation will use as their marker for great music and continue learning from the greats! Rufus if you read these posts I'm not sure? you must take this industry on, and let people all over your music. It's well over due that we are feed what the industry think we want and let the real artist take the stage. Love your music
it's probably because of all the things they have to go through during their childhood and such so, all their pain is turned into art.
Mía respetos amo este hombre y su música
This song reminds me of such a horrific time. Horrific spooky time in my life. But on a Sunday afternoon. On CBC radio.
It was okay. A long nap. It was all okay. The window was still there to absorb the sun. I used to know Rufus.
When I was a teenager. Waking to this song.. My friend was deadly asleep on the other side of the couch. I wanted him 2 wake up. I was sick.
Back to the..... It was a few moments of safety and calm not alone. But completley alone. Was a long time ago. Scary time ago.