Honestly, there are few companies and managers I could send this to who wouldn't understand that this is parody and would agree whole heartedly that all of it is needed.
I do what I can to help spread the word. share the video with them :) I don't mind! managing teams and projects is hard. there are a lot of ways to do it, and a lot of them are terrible :) I have thought about staring a series on it but I'm not sure it would help.
This sounds great if you need to boost man-hours and you want a bigger budget because you need more developers so you then need a bigger bonus because you manage bigger team.
Do you remember that famous parody video The Expert, about 7 red perpendicular lines? My boss understand it as positive video about how engineer with good leadership can solve anything.
I'm a scrum survivor, and still recovering. I shall send this video to all my colleagues who are still trapped in that dark place, to let them know they are not alone.
Is there a name for a post SCRUM way of doing it? I mean, the legends say: "Once upon a time there was Waterfall, but this sucked. So, SCRUM is our saviour!" ... well, it isn't. But going back is definitely also not the solution. Where to go to instead? How to sell this to MGMT?
@mepipe7705 maybe I should make some videos on it. But I'll for sure do some streams on it! Https://twitch.tv/marekcounts I also stream to RUclips, you can see all the links in the description!
@@mepipe7705 Here's what I did with my team: in scrum you can make your own process, so you can do anything that works and still call it scrum (important, because you don't want your management team to realize you've thrown scrum away). So: stop estimating, stop sprint planning, stop committing to tickets in a sprint, and stop locking-down the sprint so it can't be changed after you've started. Definitely stop refining tickets. Stop doing ticket-based work, and instead focus on projects (i.e. fully deliverable features). This means devs get to see their project all the way through, which tends to make them happy. Put two devs on each feature, so nobody works in miserable isolation. Work in 2-week sprints, aiming to deliver features within those 2 weeks. Devs are not children, they know if something is too much for 2 weeks, in which case do something smaller as a "v1". If it doesn't work out, don't beat yourselves up. You can still use tickets, but these are just work trackers. Start sprints with just enough tickets to get everybody started. Create new tickets and bring them into the sprint as they are needed. Now the cunning bit: at the end of the sprint, go back and adjust the estimates so they add-up to the number of hours in 2 weeks (this makes management happy). If you really must look at a chart, use the burn-up, not the burn-down. Scrum goes in the bin, management didn't notice, devs are more productive, and everyone lives happily ever after.
Based on my experience, the more rigorously the SCRUM methodology is followed, the slower the process becomes. This often leads to more errors due to the frequent context switching caused by numerous meetings.
SCRUM was never meant to be a rigorous methodology. It’s supposed to be more of a philosophy, a mindset. With “people over process” first and foremost. The idea of a rigorous SCRUM process is nuts, let alone the idea of SCRUM certification. Management however hates dealing with people, they prefer employees with narrowly defined roles and properties. Employees operate at what someone called “predictable mediocrity” and are interchangeable. People on the other hand are… messy. That’s why management ran with SCRUM and turned it into what we have today. Process instead of people.
@@kaasmeester5903 Exactly. The only right way of implementing SCRUM is as a shield for developers that protects them from the management bullshit. Self absorbed product owners doing scrum is the reason for this bs version of it. It is meant to protect developers while looking like something shareholders can work with. NOT the other way around.
I've been a developer for 30 years and was introduced to SCRUM when I started my current job 7 years ago. My CEO even gave me "the book" when I started. But being a grumpy old developer is like being a superhero and I killed that scrummy shit almost immediately. Never underestimate the power of the grump. On the plus side I still use the book I got to prop up the leg of my desk.
Just got a new scrum manager who assigned everyone regular two week feature roll out requirements. The backend team leader went ballistic and got into an epic argument. Funniest two hour meeting ever 😂
@PavelMalinov I'll give it a shot. It's a big topic and I think one that is kind of different depending on you company size, team size and even your customers. I'll think about it!
@yewknight Kanban is not safe... I too like it, but no systems is perfect!!! My hope and goal is for us to have some fun even with the things we like! None of the systems are perfect! ;) hopefully these videos help us to all smile a bit and come to the table to talk about the issues! Hopefully...
I’m a recovering Scrum Trainer for the Scrum Alliance who recently quit. I’ve heard others in the Scrum community say many of the things said in this video. As an insider, I’ve seen Scrum and SAFe fail over and over at the biggest organizations who are blind to their shortcomings. I had to walk away from Scrum because Scrum without the right technical practices for software development is a recipe for failure. You’d think we’d have learned by now. Anyway, this video hits home. Thank you for making it!
Ummm... want to join me on live stream???? I would love to hear more from you on the topic! Base scrum sounds awesome. It just tends to go downhill every time I've seen it! would love to hear others' opinions on why it seems prone to this! Especially someone like you because while I've been around software development I've never had formal training in it. Well a few weekend classes but... :)
'Agile' has been misconstrued as must be SCRUM must be JIRA, reliance on software and rigid process rather than the intrinsic skills and abilities of a given set of individuals.
Just came from Prime's reaction ... I have to say that this is one of the best critiques of Scrum I've seen. It nails down many of its problems while understanding how different it is from Agile.
Thanks! I know I don't go into a ton of details in these honest tech ads. They are supposed to be a light-hearted way to bring up real issues. I might make longer form content on the topics in the future but we also cover a lot of this on stream! Thank you for watching and leaving feedback!
Yeah it’s a typical case where the authors had some good intentions and ideas and consultants saw Scrum as something they can sell to companies and turned it into this law like thing people should follow.
A CSM course is like a pyramid scheme. Buy a course, you are guaranteed a certificate for a job whose main purpose is to perpetuate scrum, call anything that isn't scrum "waterfall", and probably use it as a gateway to a lucrative Project Manager job because the execs won't believe that your job doesn't really do anything so you'll end up as PM.
A good scrum master can really add something to a team, but I don’t know if the name fits in that case. They are more like team coaches, holding the team together, help creating focus, help with a good team dynamic, and so on. At least that’s what I experienced.
I worked at a place where the scrum master took on the role of running the team meetings but also acting as a go-between/team representation with the PO or other people from business (scrum master was in our company, PO was in the client company). It honestly worked really well, though I suspect partly it was down to good scrum masters and colleagues.
I worked at a software company in a non-coder role. When they started scrum our engineers were prevented from getting things done so bad, I had to program a customer facing reporting system in VB that we used for years.
Agile software development is what every software developer wants, but it also means that developers have control over software development, and management doesn't like that at all. So how do you get developers to believe that you are now agile, without the rest of the company having to change and without managers losing total control? The solution is SCRUM. SCRUM builds a framework around agile software development that has absolutely nothing to do with agile development. People pretend that developers are now in control so that they can be blamed for everything that goes wrong, when in fact everything is even more management-driven than it already was, and being management-driven is exactly what agile software development wanted to get rid of, because managers don't understand how software works, how software is written, and what developers need to write good software.
@@williamdrum9899 This comes to the obvious truth: you don't need managers. They're not even good at faking their 1:1 meetings to provide mentorship, training, help and support for developers. They nod their heads at meetings as they have no idea what they're talking about. They look at meaningless reports like scrum burndown charts and umm and arr as if they're somehow worth earning a paycheck. They distract developers from their work by asking inane questions like "why haven't you completed your Jira time tracking this week"?
Remember when software used to be fun? I did this SCRUM stuff on my contract with a Boeing subsidiary. I still have coding PTSD from it. I keep finding what appears to be really attractive coding jobs with large corporations. The Catch? More and more they demand agile/scrum methodologies. You can't escape it!
In my last job I was one of the people who helped to implement Asana. 90% of all tasks were related to making Asana work. The whole process made me feel so dirty that I've been to confession every day for the last 18 months. I'm not catholic.
I wish my standups were only 15 minutes. I have two of them and theyre usually a minimum of 30 min each with backlog grooming 3 times a week that takes over an hour each time.
We were using SCRUM on one project, but had some good managers who after a bit said - "Ok, what parts of this work and what needs sat on the shelf?" We worked together to make a good process and it did work. Biggest lie - "Story points aren't hours" - Of course they are! Apply BS principle.
I want to try and do my part to help! So far my longer form content has stayed away from some of the management side of things. But maybe I'll make some videos giving some of my thoughts. Management is hard and people don't think about it like it's hard!
I cursed and paused the video at 2:40 after the "standup meetings where everyone recaps yestersday" line. Next time put a "this video will trigger your PTSD and will casuse emotional distress" warning beforehand. I've set up a meeting were you can explain this lack of attention to protocols and avoidance of conflict, afterwards we will organize a second daily where you update us on your video productions so we can avoid future comunication missteps. (this actually happend to me. i had 2 daily standups for a while. and 3 scrum masters.)
In my previous job I had a Stand Up (morning) and a Stand Down(evening) every day, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays an extra mid day standup with my wider team. On Fridays evenings after Stand Down, a mandatory social hour. I lasted 2 months before resigning.
You better have used Jira, at least 5 Miro boards on two different accounts, an internal wiki that is always outdated MS Teams, Slack and a WhatsApp group or else it wasn't productive.
Standup meetings are ridiculous. Scientific research has debunked *ALL* the myths concerning "stand up". "Sit down" works just as well. The only effect of "standup" is that meetings are (compared to "sit down") 10% shorter in general. On an hour long meeting, that's six minutes. Not that I care, all "stand ups" were attended by me in "sit down" mode. BYOC, I don't care.
This sounds like my group up until a couple of months ago. We got a new PM who claims to have extensive AGILE experience and turned our efficient 2-3 minute standups to 15-30 minute slog-fests where it ends with us learning nothing.
@@byron_00ya, it’s unfortunately common for people to neglect that it’s supposed to be short enough to do standing up. It’s in the name haha. Yesterday, today, blockers. let everyone go, and offline after set up time to discuss anything that needs digging deeper
this just shows the importance of knowing the strengths and weaknesses of all the options that you have access to, then picking the one that fits your needs. I remember switching to scrum for a project back in school, and my team ended up settling on a form of scrum without all the buzzwords, and it really helped us keep the project organized.
Absolutely! I make these videos to be fun and call out common mistakes, not to say aspects of them are not good or can't be leveraged! Awesome! Thanks for sharing!
I've been a developer since 1980 and a few years ago I got sucked into "Scrum Hell". 5 to 6 hours of meetings per day... And the unplanned, incremental approach to software development guarantees fragile, nearly unmaintainable code. Yay. I could go on and on about the fact that Agile is everything but agile. You all know that or you wouldn't be writing those great comments.
Ah...managers doing what they always do: nothing that improves things. It's just another round of "reshuffling the deck chairs" in the process to make it look like progress has been made...on the process...or sumthin.
Yup! Maybe it should have been, scrum and bad management honest ad, but then I would not have gotten as many views... this is meant to be fun. It's only 4 minutes long! It's not meant to be a full deep dive into the issues of software management!
I'll have to think on this, I've never been subjected to SAFe directly. Only adjacent to it. I can probably make a SAFe ad... it might not be safe... but it will be SAFe.
@@NullLabstwo things about SAFe: 1st have you seen the diagram? I mean the mother of all process diagrams. 2nd the backlog gets frozen for three months at a time. It's called program increments or just pi.
@Sammi84 yes yes. I'm aware of it on some level, and have worked with groups that practice SAFe. Just never worked that way myself! :) I'll get it made. It will be a few months out, but. I'll get it made.
I am convinced that the "Agile values" are directly against the technical integrity of any product. Although the notion of "regular feedback from customer" is an evident triviality which should be followed by every developer team (regardless of being "agile"), in reality it is the perfect, "official" justification for the manager-level people to "never say to a customer".
True. But when the customer is paying based on time spent working on features they wanted, it's also a double-edged sword. As a dev you can tell the customer it's a bad idea or that it won't work very well due to xyz technical reason, you can tell the customer it'll be ton of work to do the job properly and are they sure, and when the customer doesn't like it you can get paid to remove/rework the feature. Good customers will have technical people interacting with the team as they make design decisions, and in those cases too it is crucial to keep open channels of communication.
This is an interesting take, I think that all of these things can be taken to an extream that is not good. this is probably true of just about everything, extreams tend not to be good. deffenetly would love to talk with you about it on stream! will be making some "live videos" on these topics on my bytes. youtube.com/@thenullbytes
@@psgouros Well, it's an ongoing project between other gigs. But it's not uncommon for some software to be decades old e.g. Photoshop, MS Office, Illustrator, Unreal Engine, etc.
I'm weird. I somewhat like Scrum. I mostly only have the dailys, refinements (twice a week), retro and planning (once every two weeks). We're unironically one of the fastest teams in the company 😂. TBF, this is withing the context of a 5k people corporation that's working slower than molasses (energy sector - we're a TSO if that means anything to you).
Not only do we have Scrum, we also have SaFE (?), which to me just means we have a quarterly planning. We are now almost ready to go to the cloud, coming from K8S which was introduced some 2 years ago! I can't wait for the top to figure out the cloud is too expensive in about 2 years, so we can take another 4 to move back to locally hosted. 😂
These videos are meant to help us all have fun with our jobs a little bit more. They are not meant to say a team cannot use something if they like it! I personally love the rust language. But I plan on making an honest ad for rust so we can all have fun even if it's something we love. I personally don't like scrum but I'm sure there are those who have figured out how to make it work really well for their team! Some teams just like pain and suffering! ;)
Switched from a company that worked via Scrum (assuming projects had a deadline later than same-day lol) to one that has no project managent at all. Guess which one has a better product quality?
Scrum: Don't think of the points as units of time, think of them as units of effort! Also Scrum: Okay everyone, how many effort points do you think you can get done in the next two weeks?
We still use JIRA but basically back to waterfall. Too much of: move to next sprint, move, move … for me the roadblocks are: too many meeting to identify roadblocks and not enough time to focus on work.
@@NullLabs I know, I know. I miss the creative aspects of the work too much. Sometimes I got lucky and could job-rotate out of the PM tasks but it gets me always again.
As a developer.... fuck this. I hate these meetings and scrum in general. Sometimes we have 4h of meetings per day. How am I supposed to code? After work?
I could make a similar parody about life before Scrum, but you still make some good points. I had plenty of cases where developers were off into skunkworks, schedules and user priorities be damned, and interface issues because of lack of communication.
Absolutely! This is meant to be a fun way to get us talking! There are usually worse! The same goes for my honest K8s ad. While I love k8s, it has its issues, and I wanted us to talk about them!
@larryaugsburger8452 probably mostly agree, it also depends on how you implement scrum as well as what I see the certified scrum consultants push will slow everyone down to a crawl. :) but maybe I've just had bad luck.
If you have issues managing then change the people not the methodology. Seriously... I survived three changes of methodology in a bank, all failed because they didn't change the managers. They even tried Lean Six Sigma (lol), descoped that to just Lean then descoped that to an entry on someones cv claiming to have implemented it. A good manager and team deliver regardless of methodology.
To be honest. It's probably more on the companies that implement it than actual scrum... but yeah. It's the worst because I've never seen a company do it well :)
I'm so sorry. Management is difficult and to be honest, with good management it probably matters little what methodology you use. But the same goes for bad management! The industry lost a good mind :(
Project managers: "We need to plan what we're going to do before starting to write code." Engineers: "Ew, planning? Here's a list of false dichotomies and myopic priorities that ensures that the customer will always find new bugs so we'll always have jobs, and skips all that boring 'planning' stuff and goes straight for the code-call it The Agile Manifesto." Project managers: "Okay, but let's put Agile on rails with SCRUM."
when people keep adding to scrum and agile it is because they keep trying to solve a business need. and it's a real need that needs addressing, the problem is that 2 years in they need to step back and say, "Hey, we solved the business need, but is there a better way to do these things without getting in our devs way" for really large companies it usually is amazing tooling that does a lot of these things automatically, I actually think how you do this depends not only on your team/company size, but also on your customes, aka, are you a B2B or a B2C ect. Thanks for watching and being part of the conversation! I'll make some bytes on this on my youtube.com/@thenullbytes channel!
as a person with ADHD I hate scrum with passion. I much rather prefer "do this shit, you got 3 weeks, i dont give a fuck how you do that, just be sure it's done"
@nikoraasu6929 just sounds a bit stressful! I'm glad it works for you! That is the hard part of managing. Everyone functions differently! Thanks so much for your comments and feedback!
I was on my (slow) way to a computer science Bachelor's. The last class I ended up taking was, essentially, just learning about Scrum. It was so depressingly corporate that I straight up gave up on the degree. I was thinking, "if this is what a bachelor-level CS job actually is like, it's not worth it."
It's pretty easy, a lot of my content before this was not funny, and I used to suck at thumbnails. I mean it, go look at them... I'll do the youtube face maybe ever 5 or 10th thumbnail! It's truly amazing anyone watches me!
If we lived in science fiction universes, Scrum would be a non-issue, you'd be able to clone yourself and have the clones attend all the meetings while you can work uninterrupted
I'm an agile coach. This is just bad Scrum that uses a lot of popular add-ons and excessive bells and whistles instead of just the basic framework that is supposed to give devs room to do their work without interruption. Different implementations of Scrum can lead to wildly different results. Mostly bad. From my experience (also as an engineer working in scrum myself), the less things you add, the better. Basic scrum is really just all meetings for 2-4 weeks condensed into 1 day + a goal the team works on for the next two weeks as they see fit with clear guidelines for when something is considered of acceptable quality (determined by devs). Upper management is usually what ruins it. Anyway, great video, you're totally right about bad scrum.
Agreed! I feel bad because I feel like people think I think this is all scrum... don't get me wrong, I think a lot of "scrum" that is done has some of the above issues, anyhow. It's hard to make the perfect 4 minute video that covers all the bases. I was hoping we would all have a bit of fun and talk about these things. Thanks again!
Agile: A PM methodology that replaces one complex Waterfall methodology done over months, with multiple complex Waterfall methodology every day. SCRUM Coding: How to write code that doesn't leave time to write the notes, so after a period of time no one knows how it does what it does any more.
On one hand I've yet to try to have this work, on the other hand I've yet to see this actually followed. Imagine actually having a manager who listens when you in a retrospective mention things which doesn't work about how things are done right now?
Honestly scrum has been implemented in a very lightweight logical way in most of the organizations I have been in, but the thing I agree with this video the most is the planning poker, I have not seen that ever go well. It always seems to devolve into everybody trying to guess what everyone else is guessing so they can avoid getting asked why they guessed something different from the group, which usually results in the sizes converging on some narrow average.
Scrum comes in a lot of shapes and sizes! Of course, in 4 minute satire videos, I must be generic with what I see across the spectrum of scrum. It is meant to get us talking about these topics, not to make anyone upset or to say you can enjoy some amalgamation of scrum! I actually like 2 week chunks of work for example! Join my live streams on twitch and we can talk about it more!
I think this is only one sie of the story: how Management used scrum to slave programmers. But it can also used from a Programm er perspective: scrum allows for dropping tickets or even: not put them in the Sprint at all. If the Team (mostly programmers) says "no" it is not in. If management put it in anyways, call them in the retro, explaining them, they doing scrum wrong, and if they do not want to comply, scrum can be dropped alltogether.
Join the discord and the live streams and talk about it! Everyone "scrums" different and is kind of the intent. Now there are nice things I like about scrum, I generally find the application of scrum crappy. Even if it can be done well.
Also, I have scrummed as a engineer, as a manager and higher now... I do now solidly think there are better ways. Though again, there are good aspects of scrum for sure!
Agile development has become the solution to organizations which are incapable of specifying and planning the product before development. It has become the noob approach to software-development. At my workplace, I constantly feel like working with people who just pretend to be engineers. Nothing is specified. Nothing is known. Nothing is decided. The solution is always "10 people meeting and ask everyone".
I did not enjoy this but the video was good. I have horrible flashbacks to a job where they used the SAFe framework bolted on top those were some cursed meetings every time.
I'm so sorry my vidoe brought you emotional distress! I understand. Scrum is not SAFe by the main deffenition of the word! you are totally correct! Next time i'll make sure to add a "this video might give you ptsd from past or present jobs!" warning at the start!
I am only in college and we had a guest presentation from IBMx. No joke, never hearing about SCUM, the second the two presenters explained it I imediately started dreading my degree.
Well, I have seen scrum done well, there is also kanban. What you find out is that they all suck. What you have to learn is your team/teams, your companies needs and even your software. I'm going to do some live streams on it and might make some of them videos on my null bytes channel. Https://youtube.com/@thenullbytes
The flip side: if all you're wanting to do is coast and complete stories, just overestimate everything and do exactly what is required of you - you will generally become known as someone who under-promises and over-delivers. You absolutely can use malicious compliance and management's faith in the SCRUM process against them. But at the end of the day, all of this is an attempt to do one thing and one thing only: quantify developer time. They tell developers that the story points don't have any real meaning, but, as one guy in upper management told me, "the bean counters need beans to count". Even if it doesn't start out that way, all of the data is there and the right business bro will come along and want to start analyzing it to stack rank programmers.
I'm a junior developer, and already had some experience in Scrum environment. Do you guys think it is actually like that? /s Honestly, I felt quite bad working there, but I wasn't quite sure if it's just me being all young and unexperienced, or is it the company.. Especially on top of it, I hated the system where u have to report for every 15mins which task specifically u were doing
This is satire. A lot of scrum goes very wrong in various ways and, in general, has forgotten about agile. Most of all. This is satire and meant to be fun. I do not know what you all practiced as "scrum" but feel free to join me on stream and talk about it!
Reporting your tasks down to the 15-minute mark? I once worked at a place that retroactively tracked the projects everyone was working on. We didn't have to check in every 15 minutes. How could anyone get anything done? Who would read all those reports?
Really most companies who say they use Scrum mostly do an unnecessarily elaborate version of it that has nothing to do with what the authors of the agile manifesto, OR scrum, originally wanted. This is because after Scrum was invented, consultants turned it into a product they could sell to companies and made it extra complicated and ceremonial so they could really create a whole industry around it.
Oh man, I'm so sorry...I recently joined a project where we have to track by the hour, that is truly ridiculous. Please, find yourself somewhere better as soon as you can.
Ohhh I rememner the times when we had retrospective meetings... 15 minutes of people saying "mhhh". Nothing like asking to us nerds to open up, what could go wrong? I remember asking myself the first time, how I had ended up in a cult!
I know it's satire but I feel the need to defend Scrum. See the case of Turtoise vs Hair: it seems slower but you are much more likely to produce the right code the first time. 25 years coding.
It is satire, I made an honest kubernetes ad, a thing I like! The thing is, nothing is perfect (though some things are worse then others!) So hopefully these videos let us have productive conversations about the issues, there are some really good things with scrum, there are other really terrible. Let's talk about them!
Depends on what you compare it to, when you compare it to 5 developers each doing their thing in different ways and it’s chaos, yeah Scrum can boost quality, communication, a lot of things actually. I just think other methods can do that too or you have to take the things out of Scrum that really help with the problems at hand.
You’ll need a scrum master coach who looks like Mystery from The Game to professionally play video games on his second monitor, then deny it and imply that it was a complex team lesson. This ensures that the developers know you really went to Trump University for your scrum masterson license. Not legal in most states for extremely cool and expensive reasons, but at least now you’ve quit to become a semipro juggler, and lost the respect of your wife, children, rabbi, fortnite bots, and deli counter grocer. What a ride!
@@NullLabs 90% factual, I merely added juggling to protect the innocent. Ok, I never directly consulted his rabbi either. However. Agile really can make hilarious things like that a reality. Great commentary!
If you prioritize a meeting over my productivity, I will make sure the product never launches. If management thinks they're more important to the company than a developer, I know where the door is. If you schedule a meeting on friday, I wont be there and if monday is just a meeting, I wont be there either. If you even look at me with your "meeting eyes" I will take another lunch. Your meetings are useless, just like management is. Either let us do the work or file for chapter 11 already, cause that's where your company is heading with meetings.
Don't worry, at some point a Scrum "Master" with no actual software development experience will explain, without having really understood it, the modern framework of meetings, roles and artifacts in great detail to you. What is maybe more interesting is where the term originates: hbr.org/1986/01/the-new-new-product-development-game Notice how this is from 1986 and I have yet to meet a Scrum "Master" how knows the article. If you meet your first Scrum "Master", ask him/her what the term Scrum as a (sports) metaphor means.
I appreciate any shares! And thanks for watching! Join the discord! A bunch of people there for moral support! Thanks for watching and hopefully have a fantastic sprint!!! ;)
At first I thought that he is serious and it took me a while to get that this is all sarcasm :D Well done! If your Agile workflow is anything like he mentions, you are not doing Agile!
I hope this was clear! :) It's hard to fit everything into a video like this. I need to follow up on some of these with 45-minute videos that actually talk on the topic. So far, I've just done these on my live streams.
My favorite BS term at my last job was "t-shirt sizing." By the time I heard that one, I was already so burned out on their whole process that I just bit my tongue and never asked what it meant. 😵💫
Honestly, there are few companies and managers I could send this to who wouldn't understand that this is parody and would agree whole heartedly that all of it is needed.
I do what I can to help spread the word. share the video with them :) I don't mind! managing teams and projects is hard. there are a lot of ways to do it, and a lot of them are terrible :) I have thought about staring a series on it but I'm not sure it would help.
@@NullLabs well, at least it will be fun if they continue watching these videos and applying the practices without realizing it was a parody!
Yes. I could tell a few horror stories with ironies galore.
This sounds great if you need to boost man-hours and you want a bigger budget because you need more developers so you then need a bigger bonus because you manage bigger team.
Do you remember that famous parody video The Expert, about 7 red perpendicular lines? My boss understand it as positive video about how engineer with good leadership can solve anything.
"Why have simplicity when you could have complexity disguised as efficiency" is the perfect corporate management tagline.
Thanks, I try to work on my closing statement!
Remember, SCRUM is for people who like Waterfall so much they want to do it every two weeks.
Oh snap. I wish I had thought of this! :)
I was once on a project that did 12 consecutive three weeks sprints
Before releasing a feature and still insisted that it wasn’t a waterfall project
@@johnathanrice3569 nice
I'm a scrum survivor, and still recovering. I shall send this video to all my colleagues who are still trapped in that dark place, to let them know they are not alone.
Thank you!
Is there a name for a post SCRUM way of doing it?
I mean, the legends say: "Once upon a time there was Waterfall, but this sucked. So, SCRUM is our saviour!" ... well, it isn't. But going back is definitely also not the solution. Where to go to instead? How to sell this to MGMT?
@mepipe7705 maybe I should make some videos on it. But I'll for sure do some streams on it! Https://twitch.tv/marekcounts I also stream to RUclips, you can see all the links in the description!
@@mepipe7705 Here's what I did with my team: in scrum you can make your own process, so you can do anything that works and still call it scrum (important, because you don't want your management team to realize you've thrown scrum away). So: stop estimating, stop sprint planning, stop committing to tickets in a sprint, and stop locking-down the sprint so it can't be changed after you've started. Definitely stop refining tickets. Stop doing ticket-based work, and instead focus on projects (i.e. fully deliverable features). This means devs get to see their project all the way through, which tends to make them happy. Put two devs on each feature, so nobody works in miserable isolation. Work in 2-week sprints, aiming to deliver features within those 2 weeks. Devs are not children, they know if something is too much for 2 weeks, in which case do something smaller as a "v1". If it doesn't work out, don't beat yourselves up. You can still use tickets, but these are just work trackers. Start sprints with just enough tickets to get everybody started. Create new tickets and bring them into the sprint as they are needed. Now the cunning bit: at the end of the sprint, go back and adjust the estimates so they add-up to the number of hours in 2 weeks (this makes management happy). If you really must look at a chart, use the burn-up, not the burn-down. Scrum goes in the bin, management didn't notice, devs are more productive, and everyone lives happily ever after.
"You can't stop or the process will eat you" - I felt that at a visceral level.
I have been informed that I need to have a better trigger warning for these videos. The next one I promise will be an epic warning.
Based on my experience, the more rigorously the SCRUM methodology is followed, the slower the process becomes. This often leads to more errors due to the frequent context switching caused by numerous meetings.
Yes.
No doubt the quality of the "final" product leads to the sale of the company before it is released.
@RexPilger quality is always top priority right!?
SCRUM was never meant to be a rigorous methodology. It’s supposed to be more of a philosophy, a mindset. With “people over process” first and foremost. The idea of a rigorous SCRUM process is nuts, let alone the idea of SCRUM certification. Management however hates dealing with people, they prefer employees with narrowly defined roles and properties. Employees operate at what someone called “predictable mediocrity” and are interchangeable. People on the other hand are… messy.
That’s why management ran with SCRUM and turned it into what we have today. Process instead of people.
@@kaasmeester5903 Exactly. The only right way of implementing SCRUM is as a shield for developers that protects them from the management bullshit. Self absorbed product owners doing scrum is the reason for this bs version of it. It is meant to protect developers while looking like something shareholders can work with. NOT the other way around.
Scrum is like a Guy who murdered "productivity" and now became a detective to find out who killed it.
Embrace Scrum. Why have simplicity? When you can have complexity disguised as efficiency? 💯💀
I've been a developer for 30 years and was introduced to SCRUM when I started my current job 7 years ago. My CEO even gave me "the book" when I started. But being a grumpy old developer is like being a superhero and I killed that scrummy shit almost immediately. Never underestimate the power of the grump. On the plus side I still use the book I got to prop up the leg of my desk.
Best use of the book.
😂 Brilliant. So SCRUM does serve a purpose.
The "old grump" is the perfect antidote to scrum.
what a legend
Just got a new scrum manager who assigned everyone regular two week feature roll out requirements. The backend team leader went ballistic and got into an epic argument. Funniest two hour meeting ever 😂
Hahahaha. Sounds amazing. Thanks for watching and joining in!
You need to break that argument down into user stories.
an Epic you say?
lmao
This is so good. You can do episode how you can switch to KanBan to solve the same issue you created during SCRUM
Thanks for watching! are you asking for a Honest ad for Kanban? or are you asking for a "real" how to manage a project with kanban? :)
@@NullLabs as "real" as possible or you can talk about the monste that is scrumban. Still great video. I hope it blows up!
@PavelMalinov I'll give it a shot. It's a big topic and I think one that is kind of different depending on you company size, team size and even your customers. I'll think about it!
Oh no, KanBan is like the only agile process I have found that seems sane and works well.
@yewknight Kanban is not safe... I too like it, but no systems is perfect!!! My hope and goal is for us to have some fun even with the things we like! None of the systems are perfect! ;) hopefully these videos help us to all smile a bit and come to the table to talk about the issues! Hopefully...
Scrum was made to people who don't understand programming participate somehow in the development meetings.
Them thinking, you know what software development is really like? Sportsball!
I’m a recovering Scrum Trainer for the Scrum Alliance who recently quit. I’ve heard others in the Scrum community say many of the things said in this video. As an insider, I’ve seen Scrum and SAFe fail over and over at the biggest organizations who are blind to their shortcomings. I had to walk away from Scrum because Scrum without the right technical practices for software development is a recipe for failure. You’d think we’d have learned by now. Anyway, this video hits home. Thank you for making it!
Ummm... want to join me on live stream???? I would love to hear more from you on the topic! Base scrum sounds awesome. It just tends to go downhill every time I've seen it! would love to hear others' opinions on why it seems prone to this! Especially someone like you because while I've been around software development I've never had formal training in it. Well a few weekend classes but... :)
@@NullLabs Real communism has never been tried. Not even once.
My favorite line is, "Nothing screams innovation like a 15 minute standup talking about yesterday"
Awe thank you! I actually put a bit of work into coming up with what to say! Thanks for watching!
@@NullLabs I was watching this video at work when my scrum master walked by too, so the comedic timing was extra funny.
'Agile' has been misconstrued as must be SCRUM must be JIRA, reliance on software and rigid process rather than the intrinsic skills and abilities of a given set of individuals.
Just came from Prime's reaction ... I have to say that this is one of the best critiques of Scrum I've seen. It nails down many of its problems while understanding how different it is from Agile.
Thanks! I know I don't go into a ton of details in these honest tech ads. They are supposed to be a light-hearted way to bring up real issues. I might make longer form content on the topics in the future but we also cover a lot of this on stream! Thank you for watching and leaving feedback!
The irony is, the SCRUM guide does not have planning poker or story points :D Thats some onion on the hot dog
Oh good. I hate story points with a passion. :) and planning poker.
@@NullLabs and I’m sooooo happy you published it, sharing your vid everywhere
@@ralify thank you!
No jira either
Yeah it’s a typical case where the authors had some good intentions and ideas and consultants saw Scrum as something they can sell to companies and turned it into this law like thing people should follow.
Scrum masters are the marriage counselors of development: i have yet to see a good one that needs it.
I wish I had thought of this. Nice!
A CSM course is like a pyramid scheme. Buy a course, you are guaranteed a certificate for a job whose main purpose is to perpetuate scrum, call anything that isn't scrum "waterfall", and probably use it as a gateway to a lucrative Project Manager job because the execs won't believe that your job doesn't really do anything so you'll end up as PM.
A good scrum master can really add something to a team, but I don’t know if the name fits in that case. They are more like team coaches, holding the team together, help creating focus, help with a good team dynamic, and so on. At least that’s what I experienced.
I worked at a place where the scrum master took on the role of running the team meetings but also acting as a go-between/team representation with the PO or other people from business (scrum master was in our company, PO was in the client company). It honestly worked really well, though I suspect partly it was down to good scrum masters and colleagues.
@@traveller23e So he was really a team lead?
I worked at a software company in a non-coder role. When they started scrum our engineers were prevented from getting things done so bad, I had to program a customer facing reporting system in VB that we used for years.
VB.... I'm so sorry.
Agile software development is what every software developer wants, but it also means that developers have control over software development, and management doesn't like that at all. So how do you get developers to believe that you are now agile, without the rest of the company having to change and without managers losing total control? The solution is SCRUM. SCRUM builds a framework around agile software development that has absolutely nothing to do with agile development. People pretend that developers are now in control so that they can be blamed for everything that goes wrong, when in fact everything is even more management-driven than it already was, and being management-driven is exactly what agile software development wanted to get rid of, because managers don't understand how software works, how software is written, and what developers need to write good software.
Ahh managers, a.k.a. "I don't know your job but I will tell you how to do your job"
@@williamdrum9899 This comes to the obvious truth: you don't need managers. They're not even good at faking their 1:1 meetings to provide mentorship, training, help and support for developers. They nod their heads at meetings as they have no idea what they're talking about. They look at meaningless reports like scrum burndown charts and umm and arr as if they're somehow worth earning a paycheck. They distract developers from their work by asking inane questions like "why haven't you completed your Jira time tracking this week"?
Remember when software used to be fun?
I did this SCRUM stuff on my contract with a Boeing subsidiary. I still have coding PTSD from it.
I keep finding what appears to be really attractive coding jobs with large corporations.
The Catch? More and more they demand agile/scrum methodologies.
You can't escape it!
Large corporations are a perfect host for bureaucratic BS
In my last job I was one of the people who helped to implement Asana.
90% of all tasks were related to making Asana work.
The whole process made me feel so dirty that I've been to confession every day for the last 18 months.
I'm not catholic.
I have learned that... my scrum experience is actually better than the majority of people's!!!!
I wish my standups were only 15 minutes. I have two of them and theyre usually a minimum of 30 min each with backlog grooming 3 times a week that takes over an hour each time.
This is worse than I feared.
We were using SCRUM on one project, but had some good managers who after a bit said - "Ok, what parts of this work and what needs sat on the shelf?" We worked together to make a good process and it did work. Biggest lie - "Story points aren't hours" - Of course they are! Apply BS principle.
This is the way.
Good god! That was painfully true. Been coding since '82. Modern software dev processes are a disaster
I want to try and do my part to help! So far my longer form content has stayed away from some of the management side of things. But maybe I'll make some videos giving some of my thoughts. Management is hard and people don't think about it like it's hard!
I cursed and paused the video at 2:40 after the "standup meetings where everyone recaps yestersday" line.
Next time put a "this video will trigger your PTSD and will casuse emotional distress" warning beforehand.
I've set up a meeting were you can explain this lack of attention to protocols and avoidance of conflict, afterwards we will organize a second daily where you update us on your video productions so we can avoid future comunication missteps.
(this actually happend to me. i had 2 daily standups for a while. and 3 scrum masters.)
I apologize I caused you emotional distress! It was not my intention, in future videos there will be ample warning at the start of the video!
In my previous job I had a Stand Up (morning) and a Stand Down(evening) every day, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays an extra mid day standup with my wider team. On Fridays evenings after Stand Down, a mandatory social hour. I lasted 2 months before resigning.
@ConfusedNDazed could of had you on as a special guest!
You better have used Jira, at least 5 Miro boards on two different accounts, an internal wiki that is always outdated MS Teams, Slack and a WhatsApp group or else it wasn't productive.
Standup meetings are ridiculous. Scientific research has debunked *ALL* the myths concerning "stand up". "Sit down" works just as well. The only effect of "standup" is that meetings are (compared to "sit down") 10% shorter in general. On an hour long meeting, that's six minutes. Not that I care, all "stand ups" were attended by me in "sit down" mode. BYOC, I don't care.
I take the bits of scrum that are useful and leave the rest, the broader project framework is a lean/Kanban for getting through QA, UAT, and release.
This is an amazing take imo. There are cool parts!
This sounds like my group up until a couple of months ago. We got a new PM who claims to have extensive AGILE experience and turned our efficient 2-3 minute standups to 15-30 minute slog-fests where it ends with us learning nothing.
I might be misremembering, but isn't that exactly what the agile manifesto tells you to do? Take what you can use and leave the rest.
@arkdirfe not quite like that... but yes. I'm going to do some streams on this as well as some of my bytes for my other channel these next few weeks.
@@byron_00ya, it’s unfortunately common for people to neglect that it’s supposed to be short enough to do standing up. It’s in the name haha. Yesterday, today, blockers. let everyone go, and offline after set up time to discuss anything that needs digging deeper
this just shows the importance of knowing the strengths and weaknesses of all the options that you have access to, then picking the one that fits your needs. I remember switching to scrum for a project back in school, and my team ended up settling on a form of scrum without all the buzzwords, and it really helped us keep the project organized.
Absolutely! I make these videos to be fun and call out common mistakes, not to say aspects of them are not good or can't be leveraged! Awesome! Thanks for sharing!
I've been a developer since 1980 and a few years ago I got sucked into "Scrum Hell". 5 to 6 hours of meetings per day... And the unplanned, incremental approach to software development guarantees fragile, nearly unmaintainable code. Yay. I could go on and on about the fact that Agile is everything but agile. You all know that or you wouldn't be writing those great comments.
Thank you for watching and leaving a comment!!!!!!
I just think everytime I hear planning poker... turn it into astrology signs and create mini stories to RPG.
This is fantastic. Thankfully I have not been in any planning poker for years at this point but once is far too many times imo :)
Ah...managers doing what they always do: nothing that improves things.
It's just another round of "reshuffling the deck chairs" in the process to make it look like progress has been made...on the process...or sumthin.
Yup! Maybe it should have been, scrum and bad management honest ad, but then I would not have gotten as many views... this is meant to be fun. It's only 4 minutes long! It's not meant to be a full deep dive into the issues of software management!
I like how there isn't a "THIS IS JUST FOR FUN! CALM DOWN! :)" disclaimer this time 😂
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! :)
One of my favourites videos ever. Congratulations on the creativity. 10 points
Awe, thank you! I super appreciate you watching and leaving a comment!
but 10 isn't a valid number for story points...
@@brad2501 I look at your comment and see a history of pain and suffering. I'm so sorry for the trauma you have been through!
Wait till you cover the Kubernetes of Scrum : Safe!
SAFe: Suffer All For the enterprise!
I'll have to think on this, I've never been subjected to SAFe directly. Only adjacent to it. I can probably make a SAFe ad... it might not be safe... but it will be SAFe.
@@NullLabstwo things about SAFe: 1st have you seen the diagram? I mean the mother of all process diagrams. 2nd the backlog gets frozen for three months at a time. It's called program increments or just pi.
@Sammi84 yes yes. I'm aware of it on some level, and have worked with groups that practice SAFe. Just never worked that way myself! :) I'll get it made. It will be a few months out, but. I'll get it made.
@@BrownStarKachina aka: Shitty Agile for Enterprises
I am convinced that the "Agile values" are directly against the technical integrity of any product. Although the notion of "regular feedback from customer" is an evident triviality which should be followed by every developer team (regardless of being "agile"), in reality it is the perfect, "official" justification for the manager-level people to "never say to a customer".
True. But when the customer is paying based on time spent working on features they wanted, it's also a double-edged sword. As a dev you can tell the customer it's a bad idea or that it won't work very well due to xyz technical reason, you can tell the customer it'll be ton of work to do the job properly and are they sure, and when the customer doesn't like it you can get paid to remove/rework the feature.
Good customers will have technical people interacting with the team as they make design decisions, and in those cases too it is crucial to keep open channels of communication.
This is an interesting take, I think that all of these things can be taken to an extream that is not good. this is probably true of just about everything, extreams tend not to be good. deffenetly would love to talk with you about it on stream! will be making some "live videos" on these topics on my bytes. youtube.com/@thenullbytes
I just make a list of things I need to do in a spreadsheet, and update the spreadsheet as I get things done. Still works fine after 26 years.
Spreadsheet?!?! Cool! This is simpler than what I use! Unless you are using macros!!!
I use a text editor myself. But I started doing that before Lotus decided to sue everyone for "look and feel". Vi is my preferred text editor.
You’ve been working on that same project for 26 years??? 😂
@@psgouros Well, it's an ongoing project between other gigs. But it's not uncommon for some software to be decades old e.g. Photoshop, MS Office, Illustrator, Unreal Engine, etc.
@@psgouros You've never worked for NASA.
Gonna have to update my burn out chart
I'm glad someone caught that!
I'm weird. I somewhat like Scrum. I mostly only have the dailys, refinements (twice a week), retro and planning (once every two weeks).
We're unironically one of the fastest teams in the company 😂. TBF, this is withing the context of a 5k people corporation that's working slower than molasses (energy sector - we're a TSO if that means anything to you).
Not only do we have Scrum, we also have SaFE (?), which to me just means we have a quarterly planning. We are now almost ready to go to the cloud, coming from K8S which was introduced some 2 years ago! I can't wait for the top to figure out the cloud is too expensive in about 2 years, so we can take another 4 to move back to locally hosted. 😂
These videos are meant to help us all have fun with our jobs a little bit more. They are not meant to say a team cannot use something if they like it! I personally love the rust language. But I plan on making an honest ad for rust so we can all have fun even if it's something we love. I personally don't like scrum but I'm sure there are those who have figured out how to make it work really well for their team! Some teams just like pain and suffering! ;)
I really think it depends on how it's used. If you have idion sandwich bosses - they'll fck up any good working model
You’re the fastest team at your company despite scrum not because of it
Should be an Asana Ad 😂
To be honest... I have no idea what this means :) so I hope you enjoyed it!
@@forza-11929 ohhhhhhhhhhh. :)
Monday is no better. I'm currently using Trello as it works sooo much better.
Switched from a company that worked via Scrum (assuming projects had a deadline later than same-day lol) to one that has no project managent at all. Guess which one has a better product quality?
The argument that chaos is worse... is probably not the best argument to say something is good ;)
Scrum: Don't think of the points as units of time, think of them as units of effort!
Also Scrum: Okay everyone, how many effort points do you think you can get done in the next two weeks?
Exactly
"may the best lawyer win!" LMAO, you made my day! xD
Thanks for watching and commenting! Glad to have you around!
thankyou executive producers, very cool!
They had fun helping me!
We still use JIRA but basically back to waterfall. Too much of: move to next sprint, move, move … for me the roadblocks are: too many meeting to identify roadblocks and not enough time to focus on work.
Project and team management is hard! There are so many issues to contend with!
@@NullLabs I know, I know. I miss the creative aspects of the work too much. Sometimes I got lucky and could job-rotate out of the PM tasks but it gets me always again.
As a developer.... fuck this. I hate these meetings and scrum in general. Sometimes we have 4h of meetings per day. How am I supposed to code? After work?
The CEO and investors don't care because they already got paid
Well, soon, robots will be experiencing this for you.
Awesome. Personally meeting attendees.
I could make a similar parody about life before Scrum, but you still make some good points. I had plenty of cases where developers were off into skunkworks, schedules and user priorities be damned, and interface issues because of lack of communication.
Absolutely! This is meant to be a fun way to get us talking! There are usually worse! The same goes for my honest K8s ad. While I love k8s, it has its issues, and I wanted us to talk about them!
And you are right on these things! A lot of times these things become trade offs you must pick!
@@NullLabs I think the bottom line is, Scrum helps less mature developers be more productive, sooner, but can slow down experienced developers.
@larryaugsburger8452 probably mostly agree, it also depends on how you implement scrum as well as what I see the certified scrum consultants push will slow everyone down to a crawl. :) but maybe I've just had bad luck.
this video gave me PTSD, I lived in this hell for too long
I'm so sorry! The next video I make I'll make sure to display a better warning at the start. It will be epic! ;)
It hurts. It just hurts.
I'm sorry my video brought you distress! I will work harder on the next one to avoid painful topics!
@@NullLabs I mean, not sure what I expected in an ad for Scrum, but not such a painfully accurate summary
If you have issues managing then change the people not the methodology. Seriously... I survived three changes of methodology in a bank, all failed because they didn't change the managers. They even tried Lean Six Sigma (lol), descoped that to just Lean then descoped that to an entry on someones cv claiming to have implemented it. A good manager and team deliver regardless of methodology.
Absolutely! Your management is usually who picks your methodology! If they picked a bad methodology that is on them!!! ;)
A brilliant parody of a methodology that I utterly loathe, which played a huge role in my leaving the industry. Funny and tragic at the same time. 😂😢
To be honest. It's probably more on the companies that implement it than actual scrum... but yeah. It's the worst because I've never seen a company do it well :)
I'm so sorry. Management is difficult and to be honest, with good management it probably matters little what methodology you use. But the same goes for bad management! The industry lost a good mind :(
Hahaha! How I love satire! And my favorite satirist!
Project managers: "We need to plan what we're going to do before starting to write code."
Engineers: "Ew, planning? Here's a list of false dichotomies and myopic priorities that ensures that the customer will always find new bugs so we'll always have jobs, and skips all that boring 'planning' stuff and goes straight for the code-call it The Agile Manifesto."
Project managers: "Okay, but let's put Agile on rails with SCRUM."
when people keep adding to scrum and agile it is because they keep trying to solve a business need. and it's a real need that needs addressing, the problem is that 2 years in they need to step back and say, "Hey, we solved the business need, but is there a better way to do these things without getting in our devs way" for really large companies it usually is amazing tooling that does a lot of these things automatically, I actually think how you do this depends not only on your team/company size, but also on your customes, aka, are you a B2B or a B2C ect.
Thanks for watching and being part of the conversation! I'll make some bytes on this on my youtube.com/@thenullbytes channel!
as a person with ADHD I hate scrum with passion. I much rather prefer "do this shit, you got 3 weeks, i dont give a fuck how you do that, just be sure it's done"
Oh gosh, this sounds more stressful than it needs to be!!!
@@NullLabs i manage working in a system like that pretty well actually :)
@nikoraasu6929 just sounds a bit stressful! I'm glad it works for you! That is the hard part of managing. Everyone functions differently! Thanks so much for your comments and feedback!
I was on my (slow) way to a computer science Bachelor's. The last class I ended up taking was, essentially, just learning about Scrum. It was so depressingly corporate that I straight up gave up on the degree. I was thinking, "if this is what a bachelor-level CS job actually is like, it's not worth it."
You are a wise person! (no sarkasm)
Software industrie always has at least one annoying trend at a moment
Thanks!
Oh my goodness! Thank you so much! I'm speechless! Thank you!!!
@@NullLabs Brilliant video.
How did I not know about this channel?
It's pretty easy, a lot of my content before this was not funny, and I used to suck at thumbnails. I mean it, go look at them... I'll do the youtube face maybe ever 5 or 10th thumbnail! It's truly amazing anyone watches me!
They are introducing Scrum amd OKR at my workplace. What do?
Leave this link in all your slack/team/irc channels :) but persevere. Some implemtations are worse then others. Hopefully you get a good one? :)
Crawl into your cubicle and cry.
If we lived in science fiction universes, Scrum would be a non-issue, you'd be able to clone yourself and have the clones attend all the meetings while you can work uninterrupted
I'm an agile coach. This is just bad Scrum that uses a lot of popular add-ons and excessive bells and whistles instead of just the basic framework that is supposed to give devs room to do their work without interruption.
Different implementations of Scrum can lead to wildly different results. Mostly bad. From my experience (also as an engineer working in scrum myself), the less things you add, the better.
Basic scrum is really just all meetings for 2-4 weeks condensed into 1 day + a goal the team works on for the next two weeks as they see fit with clear guidelines for when something is considered of acceptable quality (determined by devs).
Upper management is usually what ruins it.
Anyway, great video, you're totally right about bad scrum.
Agreed! I feel bad because I feel like people think I think this is all scrum... don't get me wrong, I think a lot of "scrum" that is done has some of the above issues, anyhow. It's hard to make the perfect 4 minute video that covers all the bases. I was hoping we would all have a bit of fun and talk about these things. Thanks again!
Bloat. Bloat everywhere
Here a bloat, there a bloat, everywhere a bloat bloat! Old mcdonald had a dev team, ei ei oh.
Yeah and don't forget to hire a SaaS consultant (scrum ass, a service) to be on the SAFe side too 😅
Painfully spot on.
We’ve now entered into phase of sprint + agility and it’s called a sprigility.
Sounds like a Java framework
Agile: A PM methodology that replaces one complex Waterfall methodology done over months, with multiple complex Waterfall methodology every day.
SCRUM Coding: How to write code that doesn't leave time to write the notes, so after a period of time no one knows how it does what it does any more.
This strikes such a nerve, and ive been free of scrum for over half a year.
Congratulations!
Great video! Funny stuff!
Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you! I work harder on these then I should!
Do one on microservices please
Absolutely. My next one is on AI. But microservices will get the full honest service later this year.
It's funny because it's true. It's all too true and I know from experience.
That is my goal! Of course, there are companies that do scrum and agile better than others, but that is the minority IMHO. Thanks for watching!
Nothing in JIRA is documentation unless parking tickets are too.
You are starting to get the idea
Scrum might have helped with all the spelling errors in this video 😂
Would it? I've never known scrum and quality assurance go hand in hand! I obviously need to learn more!
Scrum is like rehabilitation for recovering crash victims. It's fine for the completely dysfunctional but useless for the able bodied.
I actually like this! Scrum can help dysfunctional groups! It's better than pure chaos!
On one hand I've yet to try to have this work, on the other hand I've yet to see this actually followed.
Imagine actually having a manager who listens when you in a retrospective mention things which doesn't work about how things are done right now?
I'm so sorry you have never had a manager listen to you! That is terrible!
Honestly scrum has been implemented in a very lightweight logical way in most of the organizations I have been in, but the thing I agree with this video the most is the planning poker, I have not seen that ever go well. It always seems to devolve into everybody trying to guess what everyone else is guessing so they can avoid getting asked why they guessed something different from the group, which usually results in the sizes converging on some narrow average.
Scrum comes in a lot of shapes and sizes! Of course, in 4 minute satire videos, I must be generic with what I see across the spectrum of scrum. It is meant to get us talking about these topics, not to make anyone upset or to say you can enjoy some amalgamation of scrum! I actually like 2 week chunks of work for example! Join my live streams on twitch and we can talk about it more!
@@NullLabs sorry I won’t be able to join your stream, gotta sit through a 4 hour retrospective 😂
Had my first serious taste of scrum in my last role as a Senior Software Engineer...
The Results?
I've been off work for TWO years!!! 😳
I think this is only one sie of the story: how Management used scrum to slave programmers.
But it can also used from a Programm er perspective: scrum allows for dropping tickets or even: not put them in the Sprint at all. If the Team (mostly programmers) says "no" it is not in.
If management put it in anyways, call them in the retro, explaining them, they doing scrum wrong, and if they do not want to comply, scrum can be dropped alltogether.
Join the discord and the live streams and talk about it! Everyone "scrums" different and is kind of the intent. Now there are nice things I like about scrum, I generally find the application of scrum crappy. Even if it can be done well.
Also, I have scrummed as a engineer, as a manager and higher now... I do now solidly think there are better ways. Though again, there are good aspects of scrum for sure!
Agile development has become the solution to organizations which are incapable of specifying and planning the product before development. It has become the noob approach to software-development. At my workplace, I constantly feel like working with people who just pretend to be engineers. Nothing is specified. Nothing is known. Nothing is decided. The solution is always "10 people meeting and ask everyone".
Absolutely. I'm not sure agile is the whole problem. :) I think we have a lot of issues that lead into this issue.
Please please please do SAFe, or some other scaled agile scam!
I assure you. Fall 2024, nothing will be SAFe.
I did not enjoy this but the video was good. I have horrible flashbacks to a job where they used the SAFe framework bolted on top those were some cursed meetings every time.
I'm so sorry my vidoe brought you emotional distress! I understand. Scrum is not SAFe by the main deffenition of the word! you are totally correct! Next time i'll make sure to add a "this video might give you ptsd from past or present jobs!" warning at the start!
I am only in college and we had a guest presentation from IBMx.
No joke, never hearing about SCUM, the second the two presenters explained it I imediately started dreading my degree.
Welcome!
So if scrum sucks, what’s the alternative? Legit question
Well, I have seen scrum done well, there is also kanban. What you find out is that they all suck. What you have to learn is your team/teams, your companies needs and even your software. I'm going to do some live streams on it and might make some of them videos on my null bytes channel. Https://youtube.com/@thenullbytes
The flip side: if all you're wanting to do is coast and complete stories, just overestimate everything and do exactly what is required of you - you will generally become known as someone who under-promises and over-delivers. You absolutely can use malicious compliance and management's faith in the SCRUM process against them.
But at the end of the day, all of this is an attempt to do one thing and one thing only: quantify developer time. They tell developers that the story points don't have any real meaning, but, as one guy in upper management told me, "the bean counters need beans to count". Even if it doesn't start out that way, all of the data is there and the right business bro will come along and want to start analyzing it to stack rank programmers.
I'm a junior developer, and already had some experience in Scrum environment. Do you guys think it is actually like that? /s
Honestly, I felt quite bad working there, but I wasn't quite sure if it's just me being all young and unexperienced, or is it the company.. Especially on top of it, I hated the system where u have to report for every 15mins which task specifically u were doing
This is satire. A lot of scrum goes very wrong in various ways and, in general, has forgotten about agile. Most of all. This is satire and meant to be fun. I do not know what you all practiced as "scrum" but feel free to join me on stream and talk about it!
Reporting your tasks down to the 15-minute mark? I once worked at a place that retroactively tracked the projects everyone was working on. We didn't have to check in every 15 minutes. How could anyone get anything done? Who would read all those reports?
Really most companies who say they use Scrum mostly do an unnecessarily elaborate version of it that has nothing to do with what the authors of the agile manifesto, OR scrum, originally wanted. This is because after Scrum was invented, consultants turned it into a product they could sell to companies and made it extra complicated and ceremonial so they could really create a whole industry around it.
Oh man, I'm so sorry...I recently joined a project where we have to track by the hour, that is truly ridiculous. Please, find yourself somewhere better as soon as you can.
@MoonShadeStuff yes. Sadly, those consultants are approved through Scrum, sadly. But you are 100 percent right.
Ohhh I rememner the times when we had retrospective meetings... 15 minutes of people saying "mhhh".
Nothing like asking to us nerds to open up, what could go wrong?
I remember asking myself the first time, how I had ended up in a cult!
Deep down, we are all looking for a cult to join. By the way, welcome to the null not cult.
This is... epic
Nothing says Agile like rigid adherence!
Love this, great job
Thank you so much for letting me know! I super appreciate it!
Scrum is micromanagement by another name
Scrum, empowering your inner micromanagement.
I know it's satire but I feel the need to defend Scrum. See the case of Turtoise vs Hair: it seems slower but you are much more likely to produce the right code the first time. 25 years coding.
It is satire, I made an honest kubernetes ad, a thing I like! The thing is, nothing is perfect (though some things are worse then others!) So hopefully these videos let us have productive conversations about the issues, there are some really good things with scrum, there are other really terrible. Let's talk about them!
Although. I don't see scrum and quality have anything to do with each other :thinking_face:
Depends on what you compare it to, when you compare it to 5 developers each doing their thing in different ways and it’s chaos, yeah Scrum can boost quality, communication, a lot of things actually. I just think other methods can do that too or you have to take the things out of Scrum that really help with the problems at hand.
@MoonShadeStuff yeah. I guess if you look at it like that. 💯 better than chaos driven development.
I watched this and now I see you have one for K8s and I am terrified to watch it because I might have an existential crisis
You are welcome? :)
You’ll need a scrum master coach who looks like Mystery from The Game to professionally play video games on his second monitor, then deny it and imply that it was a complex team lesson.
This ensures that the developers know you really went to Trump University for your scrum masterson license. Not legal in most states for extremely cool and expensive reasons, but at least now you’ve quit to become a semipro juggler, and lost the respect of your wife, children, rabbi, fortnite bots, and deli counter grocer. What a ride!
This sounds.... highly specific?!?! Thanks for watching!
@@NullLabs 90% factual, I merely added juggling to protect the innocent. Ok, I never directly consulted his rabbi either. However. Agile really can make hilarious things like that a reality. Great commentary!
I know that I loathe daily standup.
This is an interesting one! I, too, generally dislike them. Some are worse then others :) but generally not great.
If you prioritize a meeting over my productivity, I will make sure the product never launches. If management thinks they're more important to the company than a developer, I know where the door is. If you schedule a meeting on friday, I wont be there and if monday is just a meeting, I wont be there either. If you even look at me with your "meeting eyes" I will take another lunch. Your meetings are useless, just like management is. Either let us do the work or file for chapter 11 already, cause that's where your company is heading with meetings.
after several semesters of IT classes and an entire this video, i still have no idea what scrum even is :)
Don't worry, at some point a Scrum "Master" with no actual software development experience will explain, without having really understood it, the modern framework of meetings, roles and artifacts in great detail to you.
What is maybe more interesting is where the term originates: hbr.org/1986/01/the-new-new-product-development-game
Notice how this is from 1986 and I have yet to meet a Scrum "Master" how knows the article.
If you meet your first Scrum "Master", ask him/her what the term Scrum as a (sports) metaphor means.
This was pretty funny and a bit close to home. I am not sure who at work I can send this to who would also find it funny. I hate my (work) life.
I appreciate any shares! And thanks for watching! Join the discord! A bunch of people there for moral support! Thanks for watching and hopefully have a fantastic sprint!!! ;)
i was a scrumaster for a year. evil evil evil evil
It's OK. We still love you. We all have our pasts that we learn from! ;)
At first I thought that he is serious and it took me a while to get that this is all sarcasm :D
Well done! If your Agile workflow is anything like he mentions, you are not doing Agile!
I hope this was clear! :) It's hard to fit everything into a video like this. I need to follow up on some of these with 45-minute videos that actually talk on the topic. So far, I've just done these on my live streams.
I'm a hardware engineer somehow trapped in SAFe... send help
If everyone is SAFe, then no one is safe. Trust me. Honest ad coming winter of 2024.
This is fantastic 😂😂😂
Thank you!
My favorite BS term at my last job was "t-shirt sizing." By the time I heard that one, I was already so burned out on their whole process that I just bit my tongue and never asked what it meant. 😵💫
Dang. Tshirt should have been on the list. Thanks for watching!
This hurts. Too real. I came here for laughs, not a reminder of work!
I'm so sorry! My next video will have apt warnings! Don't worry! I will not let this happen again!