THE GAMING STORYTELLER On Xenos After Dark Tier List | Astartes Anonymous Podcast #16
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- Опубликовано: 25 июл 2024
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00:00 Disclaimer
00:07 Intro
03:20 Models of the Week
06:39 The Prompt
07:17 Craftworlds
12:35 Necrons
16:52 Tyranids
22:25 Exodites
27:30 Drukhai
31:16 Genestealer Cults
39:06 Harlequins
43:21 The Orks
47:25 Leagues of Votann
51:22 The Tau
54:24 The Final Tier List
58:13 A Message From Moots
Intro/Outro Music By georgeNrat
Additional Music by Scott Buckley - released under CC-BY 4.0. 
Игры
What an experience this was, thank you for another incredible episode
I could totally see Tzeentch telling Orks to try to "pleasure" a human, just for the comedy value of the resulting distaster.
noooo don't give the R34 artist Ideas😏
Tzeench tellikg Orks to "show the 'umies a good time" is how you get more Digganobs.
“Uhh, boss? Is dis supposta come off?”
"DA HUMIE WANTS TO PUT MY WHAT IN WHERE!?"
@@phht0568OH okay, thrust my sword into the humies hole is your way of saying STAB YOUR CHOPPA THRU DER 'EART!
“Who knows Ian, this could be my next movie”
Ian was right about the gussy
𝙉𝙊𝙊𝙊𝙊𝙊𝙊𝙊𝙊
I think Drukhari being in every tier would be a more accurate representation, competent makes them seem semi-safe when the reality is you might get twin wyches who are members of a pleasure cult tag teaming you, or you might get some Haemonculi who is going to run you into an art installation in ways that would make Pinhead nauseous, and everything in between.
It doesn't matter if you get Wyches or a haemonculi, it'll hurt either way. But at least with the Wytches you might get one last root before you inveitably turn into her living carpet.
In Drukhari terminology a "pleasure cult" is not exactly a pleasurable experience for an average humie.
Altough I do admit a wholesome humie - Drukhari relationship would be a vibe.
@@SlaaneshM30guiliman x yvraine
In one of the Cain books, orks had desecrated a shrine to the Emperor by "converting it into a designated latrine". Amberley's annotation says that since designated facilities aren't really the orks' style, they probably just thought shitting all over it would be funny.
"For the clussy I'll do it." What a quote
"Hello, and-"
(Nurgles Gift interrupts)
PRRFECTION
Emperor forbid we ever see what would happen if somehow someone managed to convince the dwarves that sex is a form of craft.
In that case they should be kept away from the eldar
I mean pay them enough and them enough and its a worthwhile buisness transaction
"A poor worker blames his tools"
I'm dying lol
I was going to make a "Yes, Lord Inquisitor, this video right here" joke but no, you guys don't deserve that.
You deserve the Black Templars for heresy this profound. God Emperor have mercy. Good luck.
Interspecies Reviewer: 40k Edition.
I NEED THIIIIIS!
You guys ever seen the meme of the nuerolictor painted with thigh highs and long gloves?
@14:33 Counterpoint, Trayzyn. Not only does he have the confidence, charisma, and that voice. But hes a master with necrodermis. If any necron could be S tier in bed its him.
The truth has been spoken
Craftworld: Smash
Drukhari: Goth eldar gf... By I don't want to be turn into screaming lamp
Harlequins: Yes. They are probably very... Flexible
Exodites: Smash
Necron: Fuck no
Tau: YES! Every cast - fire ( tomboy), air (tall and skinny), water (office lady), earth (geeky) and ethernal ( sexy boss lady).
Orks: ... No.
Genestealers: I want my jeans on my ass, not stolen, thank you very much.
Tbh I think you could rizz yourself a Drukhari GF, instead of real flowers you bring her a buqet of cut off limbs, maybe some chocolate filled with exotic blood or you bring her a slave or two and you're all set. And of course instead of cuddling, you probably can expect yourself to be the one getting stepped on, pegged with a spiked dildo and other BDSM shenanigans...
Embrace the Necrussy son
I feel like Craftworld depends on their Path record, generally they're all high empath psykers, but if they're like Korlandril in Path Of The Warrior... then they're gonna be so up their own ass with themselves that they would think that you should feel honoured to be with them.
As opposed to someone on the Seer or Service paths who would be more available mentally.
I want a version of this episode but its all the factions of the imperium
Sororitas number one, easy
@@eddiemaiden4192
I think the shape shifting assasins would be top lol
“I got a squig here Tom, a little squig.”
“No Moose, it’s an animal!”
“There’s no laws against squigs Tom!”
“NO MOOSE! NO! DON’T DO IT!”
Watched this on my bus home from work. Got asked what warhammer vid I was watching....I regret nothing!
The Inquisition sees this shenanigans as heretical to the point of exterminatus.
I, Cato Sicarius, think that this is a bit heretical, but I, Cato Sicarius, will still watch it for... research.
We all know you like smashing tau
The Inquisition qlwould like to have a word with you Cato.
Kitten: It's not fu***ng cannon
The Votann MOST LIKELY don’t have sex in their culture whatsoever. It’s fairly self serving when they reproduce artificially, and self serving isn’t a trait commonly seen among Votann.
That said, if they were dead set on “pleasuring” you, then they’d pour so many resources into researching what that means.
In short, they’re gonna do it, you’ll just be waiting a long-ass time to get there.
Or alternatively ✨gae✨
@@Wesley-kt5li ???
@@reginlief1 ✨gae✨
Yeah if they get paid enough id say youd have a pretty good time but the exitement wouldnt be mutual
Hey I will add one thing for the tau, it all depends on the caste.
Fire: inclined to being more muscular
Water: made for "diplomacy"
Air: Tall and lithe
Earth: short and study.
Short!? No alliance!
Who leaked classified Ordo Xenos recordings? This will be prosecuted to the greatest extent of Imperial Law
The orks do indeed shit, piss, and eat food. They eat squigs and grots...and humans. At one point in the Ragnar omnibus, a Space Wolf blood claw gets pissed on by an ork during an infiltration mission.
I feel like boning a necron would be like boning a rusty tin can, instant tetanus
I must say for the tau it depends on the cast you get, water and earth would be the best because water will make you feel loved, and earth can craft things
Also, water caste has great communication skills and also have a VERY long tounge.
Give me fire cast mommy dommy or give me death
@@michaelmrozek604 earth cast hips and butt for me sir
Necron counterpoint:
Necrons can canonically Shapeshift.
And nothing states they can't heat their own metal either XD
In Twice Dead King they do heat up their bodies.
Jesus christ this tier list. Two traitors. 1 sus marine. And an ork.
I want to be clear that I'm just commenting for the algorithm
legend
This video was solid appreciate yall’s sense of humour so much.
Guys the Tau are cows not fish. They have hooves, flat teeth, and are vegetarian.
Eldar: Pre-Fall, I'd've said Sex Goddess, but now, I'll say low Skilled/high Competent due to letting their skills atrophy.
Necron: No.
Tyranid: Fun to watch for monster hentai, but otherwise no.
Exodites: Sex Goddess.
Dark Eldar: On the one hand, Sex Goddess. On the ohter hand, No.
Genestealer Cults: Skilled/Competent, though the whole 'Tyranid lure' thing is a bit of a deal breaker.
Harlequin: Sex Goddess.
Ork: No.
Votann: Competent.
Tau: Competent.
There are female Votann
@@samrein9919the votann are giant computers, the kin (dwarves) come in all flavours
All the talk of Necrons and no mention of the Chinese "seed" harvesters, Necrons will have all the attachments lol
The grip is adapting
OMG that thumbnail is amazing 😂
Necron supremacy for sure.
They have the best toys
Only thing I gotta say on necrons is... They can reshape their body any way you want.
And they can regulate their temperature.
I dunno if they can make their necrodermis flexible or soft though..
@@utes5532overlords can, atleast the face as some are able to make expressions
Why do i wanna see an entire tyranid army painted like dennim jeans.
I realy want a 5 Minute video of the guys just saying "were rich"
"Necrons are gay" it's canon now
If you read the infinite and the divine thinking, Trazyn and orikan are bitter exes its even funnier tbh
Genestealers have the wild card of being able to alter their partners' anatomy: double-headed dragon just saying. Are there even female Votann? Considering the Dwarves reproduce via cloning it could just be one big sausagefest. Tau seem like they should be in meh; sure they look nice, but they seem like they would be less fun then a damp paper bag. Ever heard the term dead-fish?
Starfish
There are art (and I think models?) That depict female Votann
And 2) stop ruining my goat-fish-people :c
The Votann don't use what we'd traditionally call cloning. They have a base genetic base but they pair off different female and male bases to procreate. Does that mean they don't physically procreate or not, I'm not sure, but they do pair off and "marry" for lack of a better word.
Votann do in fact come in all flavours (including robot, butch and bear)
What’s wrong with only men 😩
Yes chrono is a awesome warhammer RUclipsr and I'm looking forward to the episode in November.
No one made the argument of what Genestealers can do with three arms...
Nah craftworld eldar would try super super hard to be the best in bed
Man, that thumbnail picture... 😁
My only note on this is with leagues, they do have decendents in the imperium that are made the old fashioned way.
“Why are we still here? Just to suffer?” -Master Miller, MGSV
All I can think is
"Tau women prefer human men" 😏
Do they?
@@babalu7737 No it’s a meme
@@babalu7737I mean nothing stopping them from having a lil fun to get humans to serve the greater good.
The ol saying " a holes a goal"
You guys are very optimistic that the nids don't decide to just turn you into biomass, because serving the hive mind is probably the greatest pleasure in their mind. xD
”Why are we still here? Just to suffer?”
That eldussy hit diffrent
The one thing I can say in favor of the orks is that through their believe they could turn the beat up into one hell of a pleasure-trip. Not enough to push them out of useless but worth mentioning.
Craftworld: smash, Dark Eldar: no thanks I choose life, Exodites: sure, necrons: necrodermis can be shaped into pretty much anything, so if I could find a nice find a nice Phaerek sugar mama sure, tau: hard smash for all except the ethereals, nids:….depends which type you get. Do they give you your own bio form or do they just toss a genestealer at you? Ork: no….just no.
yall forgetting that the venomthropes and toxicrenes aint it. Due to the fact that they have a constant cloud of poisonous, sentient spores that will fucking kill you, now the neurotyrant on the other hand has those things, AND can do crazy ass psychic shit too
I'm pretty sure you could make a fair argument that the partner the Nids would come up with would probably resemble Kerrigan from Starcraft.
truly the greatest 40k content
That Dutchman sure sounded Minnesotan off the bat
Fun fact chaos can corrupt tyranids but only slaanesh or khorne tyranids have been allowed to live until planetary assimilation
All i heard was sex Tyranid tier list and i was like alright my time has come.
THE TIME HAS COME AND SO HAVE I
the vore fetishists are gonna have a field day
The only 40k tier list that matters😂
Bbbb-brother?
I'm just here to say that thumbnail is wild....where can I find it
Yeah the orks shit because a certain squighs we know exist in lore. That's all that I will say.
I think there is one critical error regarding the T'au's ranking:
Y'all completely forgot that T'au are in a technological golden age and neglected the entire robotics half of their civilisation
Earth Caste engineers could literally build you the perfect toy to enhance your time with your Water Caste/Fire Caste bf/gf
And that's why T'au are Sex Gods thank your for coming to my TED Talk
Thank you TED i liked that talk
I want them to fall in love with me so when I die they are deeply distraught and thus I do the emporer proud by hurting xenos XD
Brilliant reasoning Brother. The Emperor protects
These are some thicc Xenos.
Time to study them before they get burnt.
Also, ya'll weak. Necrons are adjustable for the deed, seeing that they are entirely mechanic. Besides, they might learn a thing or two if they find it amusing.
Live from the black library collab when
This video. He's Harlequin on the cover
Thanks to this episode, I seem crazy by how much I laughed, my fellow passengers in the train look at me weirdly 😂
Gene steamers more like Jean stealers! Am I right boys!? I mean the moment he mentioned the movie Species… he won the argument. No contest. A xeno that rapidly evolves under the guidance of the collective conciseness of their supreme intellect! And it’s sole purpose is to pleasure you!? Yeah it’ll start out fumbling… probably have poor head game. Maybe accidentally use too much teeth. However, in the span of a short session it’ll know everything about you. Then, it’ll reveal things you didn’t even know about yourself. Nothing is off the table!
So, with crons it's not a matter of equipment, it's a matter of tools.... They have lots of high Tech.
Look..... Harlequins are the best from ALL forms of eldar but are less likely to go full drucari, they are a roll of the dice with a similar or higher high and a much higher non chronos floor.
Necron gf is the best gf
Read infinite and the divine or twice dead king
Also ginger Sid’s vid on it
I have never laughed whilst watching a episode more in my life
Imagine living metal all over your thing....
Orks would probably just rip your eggroll off
Protoss waifus are the best!
Okay to be honest what is the necrons engineered a female body
even then it wouldnt be good cause it would just be a necron skeleton with a hole on it not some crazy fucking robot that looks alive and has that mad iradiated necrussy
The void dragon could do that tho
I just have to say. The craft world elder are still kinda fucked up by human standards but very tame compared to drukari and the elder at the fall.
C'tan/shards should count as necron
Greater goods for the win
Cold metal necron hands is a problem? Just get a flayed one fresh from doing what it does best.😅
40k Gods sex tier list?
Tzeench would be the best
@@respectfulevil9022 ehhhh still think Slaanesh takes it but Tzeench would know all the positions 😁
@@Titan-cq2wz slanesh may do a lot of sex but let me tell you, you arent enjoying a second of it, you are leaving with none of your bones unbroken
@@respectfulevil9022speak for yourself coward
I haven't finished this video yet as I'm at work so a few things off reaction. Firstly exterminatus upon all of you. Secondly I got a add for an adult pleasure toy on a gaming channel with a horror game being played. It feels too close to be a coincidence. RUclips knew. This is your fault. Thirdly... was thinking of hrud cause reasons.
There is a harlequin meant to play slaanesh, so...
Thanks for the laughs 😂
going with the expedite means death by snu snu
Aaah yes probably the funniest thing. Some guys talking about getting into action with some xenos. Now we need to find girls doing the same rating.
16:34 trazin got your back. If there’s a necron to understand humans it’s him. I don’t say that because of the liveless automaton stuff but more about what he can arrange with some mindshackel scarrobs. To be honest that’s basically an all in one. But if that’s not the case thx i stay limp.
18:30 that’s probably the strongest contender besides tyranids can also stimulate via psychy.
Trazyn might throw you into the exhibit of the Sororitas v Aeldari fight in the inorganic dissolving oil lakes of Leboss LXIX.
but that isn't really a point for the necrons themselves.
True. Either way it’s sth worth mentioning
Omg that's amazing lmao. The Nurgle worshipper likes the Magussy 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Peak content
I can never look at my nerolictor the same way again
Soooo wait…how the fuck do the orks reproduce?!?!?
I’m gonna regret asking this….aren’t I? Lol
Spores
@@DaddyCabby excuse me, what?
@@Anderson12690 orks in 40k are basically monstrous muscled mushrooms.
@@DaddyCabby what the fff….
What were the dude a 40K HQ smoking and sniffing lol
@Anderson12690 they don't do the deed, they fight, die, release spores, and more come out of the ground. They are sentient mushroom lads
Could someone link the dinosaur thing they’re referencing, I’m having trouble finding it.
29:09 For the drukari I’d say no to they are into pain so probably BDSM or pegging or something worst and that’s a Con rather then pro
Aaron and moots being based af this episode huh.
Fuckin subscribed lol
This is beyond heretical.
Eldar gf
Hanayama nooooo😭
48:05 technically they are midgets so if you’re into it sure go ahead and have fun
Ordo Xenos want to know your location
Top Five faccions that arent from the Empire
Necrons
Skitari Rangers
Alquines
Orc Pirates
Malal Cult
Fck i coment before lisenig the full cast
I supose i would change the pirate orcs whit tau, hate them but there female eva pilots are to good to past down