I was in a relationship with a narcissist for 4 years. Four years later I’m still recovering. Early in the relationship I started recording our interactions because I was so confused. A couple days ago I came across some of those recordings and was stunned at what he did to me. Now that I understand NPD and am distanced from the relationship I could see through all the manipulation and gaslighting tactics. I feel for this man. This case is so tragic. Thank you for all you do Dr. Berry. I learn so much listening to you. You have such a lovely voice.
I had to practice saying "No." In the mirror everyday for about 2 years before I started saying it confidently in everyday life because I was never allowed to be my own person or dislike or like things of my own. I had to learn it as a 35 grown adult, and it took a lot of work, but I learned it.
I am glad the video is out there for all to see. At beginning Courtney was not charged with crime, after she killed Christian. Her self defense claim was believed. The cruelty of not even calling his family to let them know he died was thoughtless, and beyond evil, the way they found out must be the most painful thing any one can go through. Imagine sitting at your desk at work, and you get a call about donating you childs eyes. I can't imagine how I would feel.
Thank you so much for your insight. This case sticks with me because it feels so biased. Her lawyers keep stressing that she was a model but leave out the fact that she was a professional MMA fighter too. I tried switching the roles in my head: A male MMA fighter (and model 🙄) raging, slapping, hitting, and kicking his girlfriend on a regular basis? This case would be wrapped up in a day.
She was arrested for beating her ex boyfriend who was a successful body builder. She never fought officially as far as I know but she's a well known aggressive person with mileage. This guy(rip)refused to see, hear, discuss and red flags about this girl.@@DrPatriceBerry
A professional MMA fighter?? I don’t think so. Can you provide a link to where you saw/read she was an MMA fighter? I know this case pretty well & have never seen it mentioned. Just looked now too. Nothing. Doesn’t mean any of this is excusable…& these videos are disturbing, but curious! Thanks!
@@freespiritchristina the comments here was also the first time I saw that and I can’t find a report of it either from a site that looks reputable🤷🏾♀️
She is truly terrifying and takes no accountability. Blaming him for the fact she couldnt stay sober for longer than 2 weeks like its his fault. No one put that alcohol down her throat but her. No one killed their partner but her. I hope she goes to jail for a very long time. Shes dangerous - end of story.
As a white Brit the “boy” term was in my head, but it was from a film I think so didn’t want to say in case I had it wrong. but I felt like the air went out of the room as I watched it and I think it took him back too. Just submitting my uni application to do psychology and working on my listening and observational skills. Thanks for being so considered in your videos and educating us.
This is so distressing on so many levels. I would really like to think if I was in such a toxic, violent relationship l would walk away. But I suppose you never know until you're in that type of relationship.
I would love more info on the common behavioral tendencies in response to violated boundaries, like you touch on here. When you say it, it makes perfect sense, but I would have never made that connection myself.
@DrPatriceBerry , yes, I believe it would be trauma responses in the brain. You mentioned in this video about fight or flight (mine is freeze), and I've actually been curious in the past about what impact could occur when someone has had their choice removed (experienced violation, for example). Could this also affect a person's tendency toward passivity? Or are those things set very early in life? ... Things along those lines, if that makes sense. 😅
@@natalieclark5819 yes a person’s survival response in early childhood through early adulthood can inform how they respond later in life. I have a nerdy video on trauma and the brain (this is from 2 years ago before I updated my lighting and mic 😅) Trauma and the Brain ruclips.net/video/Lu0dH6gc94Y/видео.html
I don’t know about anyone else but the swearing more washes over me, obviously the physicality is awful, but I found the way she called him “boy” a considered, venomous thing. I found it quite triggering and I don’t know why. Does anyone else feel that when she calls him that?
You are the first person to mention that here 🙌🏾 the “boy” reminds me of slavery and Jim Crow when Black men were referred to as boy. It didn’t sit well with me at all. If nothing else it infantilizes a grown man.
This is a sad case, but it brought along important information! Especially regarding boundaries and not being able to say no. This is something I’ve had to continuously practice with my mom (who is more like my child at this point). I didn’t even realize that not ordering things the specific way I want them is most likely related to not being able to set boundaries with my family, and never being able to say no. I’m the type of person who will eat whatever food is given to me rather than go through the hassle of sending it back-but that’s also because I don’t like the thought of wasting food and I know all that’s going to happen is they’re going to throw the food away and remake it, and that doesn’t sit well with me. It’s also kinda forced me to step out of my comfort zone with foods and try new things, though. There are some things though, like tomatoes (🤮) or cooked spinach that I just absolutely cannot eat because of its texture. Anyways, thank you for sharing these resources. I’m always looking for ways to better myself, and this was certainly helpful. I’ve been the toxic one in relationships, but that’s not the person I want to be today or in the future. That starts with me! Thank you, Dr. Berry!
Can you offer any tips on what to do when you’re in the heat of the moment of emotional reactivity? I have a hard time realizing it’s happening in the moment, I feel very justified in my anger and I’m not violent so I don’t feel like I’m doing anything wrong until I’ve calmed down enough to realize I was overreacting and my reaction was hurtful to the people around me in that moment
Here are some general tips 🙌🏾 I hope this is helpful 🙌🏾🙌🏾 I actively practice mindfulness, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance skills from DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) ruclips.net/user/shortsH5vQG9PBtW4?si=zwIy9E63-sttq98X
Amygdala highjack is a stress response that activates our autonomic nervous system. We can train our brain to be less reactive by using skills and tools that activate the parasympathetic nervous system in safe situations when triggered. 🙌🏾
I'm starting to wonder if she wrote his misogynist post aimed at women of color on his social media🤔 Given their relationship it's just “electronic” abuse to isolate him further.🤷🏽♀️
It also sounds like her team may bring in a learning disability(adhd) or (mental health) Borderline/BiPolar as a defense. Though she's not playful which tends to be an adhd thing. I staring at Borderline! BIG time.
We will see! I’m not sure she will allow the team to portray her in this way. I think they are going to make him the villain and her the victim and say it was self defense. If this is a recorded trial and there is a mental health expert, I will def cover their testimony here 🙌🏾
I would be embarrassed to be her counsel. Anyone who cannot clearly see the volatility and the danger of Courtney's behavior in my opinion, is an unsmart person. I don't care how much you went to school to learn how to be a lawyer, but they don't have common sense to determine when you shouldn't take a case based on the evidence leading highly towards your client being guilty. That or I believe her counsel is just going for their 15 minutes of fame.
If you want to defend your clients action as an abuser, then show us the evidence that clearly shows Christian being the abuser or the main aggressor, if you don't, we are going to assume it does not exist and her counsel is bluffing
![[SFM] Risky Recital](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RzNkY1_Nk3o/mqdefault.jpg)
I was in a relationship with a narcissist for 4 years. Four years later I’m still recovering. Early in the relationship I started recording our interactions because I was so confused. A couple days ago I came across some of those recordings and was stunned at what he did to me. Now that I understand NPD and am distanced from the relationship I could see through all the manipulation and gaslighting tactics. I feel for this man. This case is so tragic. Thank you for all you do Dr. Berry. I learn so much listening to you. You have such a lovely voice.
I had to practice saying "No." In the mirror everyday for about 2 years before I started saying it confidently in everyday life because I was never allowed to be my own person or dislike or like things of my own. I had to learn it as a 35 grown adult, and it took a lot of work, but I learned it.
Thank you for sharing a piece of your journey
I am glad the video is out there for all to see. At beginning Courtney was not charged with crime, after she killed Christian. Her self defense claim was believed. The cruelty of not even calling his family to let them know he died was thoughtless, and beyond evil, the way they found out must be the most painful thing any one can go through. Imagine sitting at your desk at work, and you get a call about donating you childs eyes. I can't imagine how I would feel.
Thank you so much for your insight. This case sticks with me because it feels so biased. Her lawyers keep stressing that she was a model but leave out the fact that she was a professional MMA fighter too. I tried switching the roles in my head: A male MMA fighter (and model 🙄) raging, slapping, hitting, and kicking his girlfriend on a regular basis? This case would be wrapped up in a day.
Wow! I didn’t know that she was an MMA fighter. She did not appear to be afraid or intimidated by him at any point IMO
She was arrested for beating her ex boyfriend who was a successful body builder. She never fought officially as far as I know but she's a well known aggressive person with mileage. This guy(rip)refused to see, hear, discuss and red flags about this girl.@@DrPatriceBerry
A professional MMA fighter?? I don’t think so. Can you provide a link to where you saw/read she was an MMA fighter? I know this case pretty well & have never seen it mentioned. Just looked now too. Nothing. Doesn’t mean any of this is excusable…& these videos are disturbing, but curious! Thanks!
@@freespiritchristina the comments here was also the first time I saw that and I can’t find a report of it either from a site that looks reputable🤷🏾♀️
She is so aggressive! He really tired to stop her without hurting her. She needs to go to prison for life!
Yes, it seems like she just an explosive anger problem.
I love this video! “Expecting others to anticipate your needs without communication” is an enlightening concept
Thanks for watching 🙌🏾🙌🏾
She is truly terrifying and takes no accountability. Blaming him for the fact she couldnt stay sober for longer than 2 weeks like its his fault. No one put that alcohol down her throat but her. No one killed their partner but her. I hope she goes to jail for a very long time. Shes dangerous - end of story.
💜✌️💜🙏thank you for covering this sweetheart 💕
You are so welcome🙌🏾
That was so hard to watch. Wow.
That was just a clip, I think the full video goes on for about 1-2 min 😬
Love with you are doing , helps alot and you are great at explaining ❤ amen 🙏 THANKK YOU
I was so hoping you would do one on her!
Listening & learning...much obliged Dr Berry
🙌🏾🙌🏾🧠🧠
Thank you for this video!!! It hit home and is so educational. I really appreciate you and this video so much!
So glad it was helpful 🙌🏾🙌🏾
Thank you so much for your expertise
My pleasure! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🧠
As a white Brit the “boy” term was in my head, but it was from a film I think so didn’t want to say in case I had it wrong. but I felt like the air went out of the room as I watched it and I think it took him back too. Just submitting my uni application to do psychology and working on my listening and observational skills. Thanks for being so considered in your videos and educating us.
Congrats! I have a playlist on here for future therapists 🙌🏾🙌🏾 good luck with your application. I’m friends online with a few British therapists ❤️🙌🏾
This is so distressing on so many levels. I would really like to think if I was in such a toxic, violent relationship l would walk away. But I suppose you never know until you're in that type of relationship.
Im so glad I found your channel. Thank you
cannot wait for this episode of Dr Berry in my pocket!! 😂🤩👏🏼
🤣🤣Yes!! LOL! I will have it in my ear while my son does his bedtime routine lol
I would love more info on the common behavioral tendencies in response to violated boundaries, like you touch on here. When you say it, it makes perfect sense, but I would have never made that connection myself.
Yes...just to clarify, you would like more info on trauma/stress responses and the brain or something else?
@DrPatriceBerry , yes, I believe it would be trauma responses in the brain. You mentioned in this video about fight or flight (mine is freeze), and I've actually been curious in the past about what impact could occur when someone has had their choice removed (experienced violation, for example). Could this also affect a person's tendency toward passivity? Or are those things set very early in life? ... Things along those lines, if that makes sense. 😅
@@natalieclark5819 yes a person’s survival response in early childhood through early adulthood can inform how they respond later in life. I have a nerdy video on trauma and the brain (this is from 2 years ago before I updated my lighting and mic 😅) Trauma and the Brain
ruclips.net/video/Lu0dH6gc94Y/видео.html
@@DrPatriceBerry, thank you so much!
I don’t know about anyone else but the swearing more washes over me, obviously the physicality is awful, but I found the way she called him “boy” a considered, venomous thing. I found it quite triggering and I don’t know why. Does anyone else feel that when she calls him that?
You are the first person to mention that here 🙌🏾 the “boy” reminds me of slavery and Jim Crow when Black men were referred to as boy. It didn’t sit well with me at all. If nothing else it infantilizes a grown man.
This is a sad case, but it brought along important information! Especially regarding boundaries and not being able to say no. This is something I’ve had to continuously practice with my mom (who is more like my child at this point). I didn’t even realize that not ordering things the specific way I want them is most likely related to not being able to set boundaries with my family, and never being able to say no. I’m the type of person who will eat whatever food is given to me rather than go through the hassle of sending it back-but that’s also because I don’t like the thought of wasting food and I know all that’s going to happen is they’re going to throw the food away and remake it, and that doesn’t sit well with me. It’s also kinda forced me to step out of my comfort zone with foods and try new things, though. There are some things though, like tomatoes (🤮) or cooked spinach that I just absolutely cannot eat because of its texture. Anyways, thank you for sharing these resources. I’m always looking for ways to better myself, and this was certainly helpful. I’ve been the toxic one in relationships, but that’s not the person I want to be today or in the future. That starts with me! Thank you, Dr. Berry!
So glad this was helpful 🙌🏾🙌🏾
I just found you & you're brilliant. Thanks ❤
Aww thanks! Welcome! 🙌🏾
Thank you I learned a lot! ❤
Can you offer any tips on what to do when you’re in the heat of the moment of emotional reactivity? I have a hard time realizing it’s happening in the moment, I feel very justified in my anger and I’m not violent so I don’t feel like I’m doing anything wrong until I’ve calmed down enough to realize I was overreacting and my reaction was hurtful to the people around me in that moment
Here are some general tips 🙌🏾 I hope this is helpful 🙌🏾🙌🏾 I actively practice mindfulness, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance skills from DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) ruclips.net/user/shortsH5vQG9PBtW4?si=zwIy9E63-sttq98X
amygdala damage is an interesting topic. Poor guy.
Amygdala highjack is a stress response that activates our autonomic nervous system. We can train our brain to be less reactive by using skills and tools that activate the parasympathetic nervous system in safe situations when triggered. 🙌🏾
In her complaints at the jail she stated that she won't tolerate abuse. LOL
Wow I missed that one!
Where are the links located, Dr. Berry? Thank you so much?
They are in the description 🙌🏾
Courtney is overly emotionally reactive - and an alcoholic. Bad combination. Her violence was clearly escalating.
I think if they had evidence of his violence they would play it for the public constantly.
I'm starting to wonder if she wrote his misogynist post aimed at women of color on his social media🤔 Given their relationship it's just “electronic” abuse to isolate him further.🤷🏽♀️
It also sounds like her team may bring in a learning disability(adhd) or (mental health) Borderline/BiPolar as a defense. Though she's not playful which tends to be an adhd thing. I staring at Borderline! BIG time.
We will see! I’m not sure she will allow the team to portray her in this way. I think they are going to make him the villain and her the victim and say it was self defense. If this is a recorded trial and there is a mental health expert, I will def cover their testimony here 🙌🏾
@@DrPatriceBerry They're gonna DARVO Christian, aren't they? :(
Murder
She refers to herself as an Only Fans model.
Thanks for this. I know the news has been referring to her as the only fans murderer
I would be embarrassed to be her counsel. Anyone who cannot clearly see the volatility and the danger of Courtney's behavior in my opinion, is an unsmart person. I don't care how much you went to school to learn how to be a lawyer, but they don't have common sense to determine when you shouldn't take a case based on the evidence leading highly towards your client being guilty. That or I believe her counsel is just going for their 15 minutes of fame.
I def def think all his anti black women tweets were very out there and weird
Allegedly she is very dangerous killer
If you want to defend your clients action as an abuser, then show us the evidence that clearly shows Christian being the abuser or the main aggressor, if you don't, we are going to assume it does not exist and her counsel is bluffing
Histrionic personality ?🤔
Possibly, I will be interested to see if she does a psych eval. It could be histrionic and borderline traits 🤷🏾♀️ also I don’t know how she is sober.