Hi Soleil, I enjoyed this thoughtful and expressive video, thank you. It's interesting to hear you discuss things I've thought or felt myself. In fact it makes me feel less alone. I hope you feel comfortable enough to share more videos like this.
I hate cameras (face timing), Telephones or Cell Phones, Stage Fright, trying to talk to Doctors etc.. Been that most of my life... but I have never been lonely... because I have always been alone... Perhaps I'm envious of you having those feelings of loneliness... I grew up post WW2, in a very rural atmosphere, discriminated against because we were immigrants.... I leaned to not depend on other people for anything social. Of course I am empathic, I sense peoples emotions and able to avoid them... You are right, to replace social physical interaction, by having connections like this with you or just information from YT... Though I did find myself having connection with nurses and doctors during visits or like last year during lead up to and following an operation... I looked forward to the meetings... This is an interesting discussion, even if one way 😁 A peek into the life of an old man (77) I hope you have a great year... I agree with most of what you have said... back in the day when I was your age, we would gather at a coffee bistro and discuss topics of the day, like this, drifting from one to another, into the wee hours of the morning... Mixed bag of people, from hippies like me to university types.... Not really friends, just casual acquaintances...
Thank you so much, Soleil, for this thoughtful, genuine, engaging, meaningful reflection on loneliness in contemporary societies. I enjoyed listening to your entire discourse. You are so insightful and intelligent, and you speak so lucidly. Much social science research supports your observation that there is a loneliness epidemic, as you astutely expressed it, and that its features and causes are multifactorial.You accurately identified several of these. I love listening to your singing as well as your speaking. Thank you for sharing your gifts here.
So proud of you having the strength to make this video. I think you are correct that technology is destroying direct human interaction. That alone promotes conflict and the fear to be involved in the real world. The cyber world promotes anonymity and is responsible for the source of the epidemic of online scams and some other misconducts as you said hide behind a screen. As a single person living alone and often working alone it is so easy to become introverted in a small world protected by self imposed barriers
You spoke very very well, it was very enjoyable to witness your expression. Validating too as the internet and media landscape props up conflict and sensationalism, so it's comforting to be shown there is a community of actually conscious humans such as yourself, out there in the silent majority. Your courage to express and connect may ignite millions more kindred spirits. To reciprocate comforting expression, here's something I've learned about overcoming loneliness after years of suffering from it: _Investigate any feeling; when the layers are all peeled back, we'll see that they're all rooted in an attempt to return to love. Why would we want to return to love? Because love is our natural homeostasis (home state), but modern life and our conditioned beliefs separate us from it. When we realise this, all attempts to return to love are taking a very long detour, including connecting with other people. All we need do is surrender the false beliefs on how we thought love worked, from the outside -> in. And remember that love is always inside, just waiting for permission to be released. Even in solitude we can give ourselves permission to feel the exuberant love we hold inside previously reserved only for our honeymoon. It's not a finite resource, it's infinite and lives beyond our body's lifetime. When our belief gatekeeper is surrendered, we can let compassionate love course through our entire being at will. Then the purpose of connecting with other people isn't as a solution for loneliness, It's to expand each other's consciousness and energy. We're all different, therefore everyone we meet will ultimately expand our consciousness and energy in different directions. Once we give our love permission to live freely within us, life transitions from being a void seeking love, to being love expressing itself and playing with life. In both times of solitude, yin/rest energy; and in times of connecting with others, yang/active energy. Our personal growth is tied to how frequently we experience both with open heart and soul presence._
RUclips randomly recommended this video. Thanks for being open and sharing your thoughts. I used to stress out about being lonely, and then I met the woman that would later be my wife. We had a beautiful marriage. Eleven years later, I'm alone again. Nobody did anything wrong. We're still friends. It just didn't work out. Today, I'm technically alone but I don't feel lonely anymore. I think I give all the credit to my dog. My dog gets me out of bed. Gets me out walking. She's good with other people and breaking the ice with other people. As a result, despite being alone I feel "well liked" by strangers. It's a good feeling. So being alone just doesn't feel like a problem anymore.
Very insightful analysis Soleil. In these days of that ceaseless narcissism, which is so utterly tied to capitalism, most people want to avoid making that connection because, of course, it implies the things that are wrong about it as a system.
The irony of the internet will always be that despite all the outlets for communication it opens, it somehow leaves us feeling lonelier than ever. But if there's one good thing to say about it, it's that it allows for anyone to communicate issues such as these. I'm just a random person on the globe, but because I stumbled upon this video, I now know there's someone out there named Soleil that harbors many of the same feelings as I do. While this doesn't fully eradicate the loneliness, it brings some solace to know we're able to connect through shared thoughts and emotions. So....hello Soleil. It's nice to meet you 🙂I wish you well and hope life brings you companionship.
One thing is loneliness is kind of like this desire to have a void filled by someone else. While it can kind of have this romantic perception, it is probably better to try to let go of that desire. Another thought that came to mind when I started this video and you touched on towards the end is yes, the willingness to put yourself out there. Also this idea of finding people in a very specific way. It almost seems that people want to get lucky and find the one "by chance". But it kinda seems like the act of always putting yourself out there is the more fruitful method. But nobody wants to know "we met bc he/she asked me and so many other people to do things, and it ended up clicking between us". They always want to be "he/she asked only me". Random but, what ethnicity are you by the way?
Sometimes we all feel some sort of loneliness and all we need is to talk to someone and feel the connection. You can reach out if you ever feel the need to talk about anything...💖
Thank you! I really enjoy it when you make these type of videos sharing your thoughts. I'm not sure if that is entirely good or not, since you're feeling lonely, but I'll just say it and try not to curate it. ;) I'm gonna make waayyy too long of a comment, though. I agree with most of what you said. I don't have the answer either, at least not generally. For me, loneliness was something I experienced a lot when I was young, though in truth I spent a lot more time interacting with people back then. When I felt lonely, I would go full Shakespearean and savor the depths of melancholy. Stay up all night writing bad poetry. Stare at a wall for hours just... feeling my loneliness. Sortof like how being spanked is painful, but with a lover it might be a good pain. (I couldn't really think of another way to explain the idea, sorry!) So if you make the pain your lover, you can embrace it. And then it goes away once you get used to it being there. That kinda ruins the metaphor since it's supposed to be positive. But still. I guess you have to be a fundamentally optimistic person for that to be helpful, a pessimist might just keep spiraling downwards. The truth though, for the loneliness of youth you only have to survive it. If you still feel lonely when you're older, it will be a different type of loneliness. Probably. For most people, I think. Connecting with people online... it was easier 20 years ago because we only had realtime chat rooms. Now people post, and comment, and it's more curated. But even in the ancient world, 2500 years ago, there were people who had close friendships entirely through letters! It was rare, but it did happen. I think now it is easier, though perhaps just as unlikely.
It was a surprise to see this sort of video from you (different from the usual covers and songs). Still, a pleasant surprise. I’d need to listen and sit with everything you’ve said before I can say for sure that I agree with everything, but I can say I at least agree and resonate with most of the points you’ve made. I’m a therapist who has heard about and witnessed how different people have struggled with and been affected by a sense of loneliness. And as just a human being in the world, I’m also someone who has dealt with and still deals with feelings of loneliness, even when I know there are plenty of people in my life I can and do connect with. But it does feel harder sometimes to maintain consistent, genuine connections under the systems in which we currently live. And the ease of access via technology I think was meant to and has sometimes made it possible to stay connected and maintain relationships others across distances. But it also does make it easier to feel less inclined to spend physical time with people, and as you said, technology has been used all too often to cause harm to people. And the systems upon which several societies often work to divide people. All that said, the fact that you made this video I think is one great way to use technology to mitigate loneliness. And I hope by seeing all the comments people have left on here to engage with your video have also helped you feel less lonely.
Yeah, I too have been feeling lonely for a long time. In fact I wrote a rhyme Regarding this specific subject that has been on my mind!!!! Here we go again. Just me and my friend loneliness. Oh, how I miss your intimate kiss, Every time throughout my life, I feel this bliss.Darkness comes to throw me into the abyss
I enjoy your discussions Soleil. I am surprised that a young woman like yourself with such good communication skills and attractive, has trouble with relationships. I guess we all have these issues. No one is immune from loneliness. We all have our good and bad days. Thanks for sharing.
I love existential discussions like this and your positions are well-thought out. I found myself embarrassingly talking to the screen. I'd argue it really is primarily social media. We are the first generations to experience this level of interconnectivity and digital interaction. Like children who find a bag of candy, we haven't developed the maturity to use this interconnectivity wisely, and are instead feeling the sickness of the endorphin/sugar overindulgence. I'm 44, when I was young TV was limited to what videos the broadcast channels were airing at that time. Music was limited to what was playing on the radio. Video games were available, but I was considered a nerd if I shared that I enjoyed them. What did this mean? Well, if I wanted entertainment I had to go outside and interact with people. I'm a very introverted person, but boredom even got me out there and making friends in the neighborhood. I'm definitely pro-capitalism, but today, we are encouraging people to build these fake online influencer personas, because it is a successful marketing strategy and leads to increased product sales. Instead of striving to be an athlete, pilot, astronaut, engineer, lawyer, doctor, CEO, inventor, we are telling young people that success is being pretty, glamorous, and attention grabbing online. Of course society will move towards narcissism in that environment. There is so much we need to change, but I think a start would be to get children off of social media until they have had an opportunity to build those social skills and a sense of community in the real world.
Good night Soleil. I will say the focus everyone has is on "me". And then it gets confusing when you tubers try and say one has to love self before one can love another. I am struggling myself in that my work position tends to lend itself into not having close friends. So I try and break itno groups in "real life" that I like but seldom egt "out there"....therefore I try to become close to some on line. And find it is plain they are not interested in on line connections. I've also found all the self help videos on limerance and like topics to not be too helpful. Most of them just end up saying "put yourself out there". Easier said than done. Take care. x
👏👏👏 Everything you said is true, for old and young people alike. As you said, loneliness eats you up if you can't deal with it. That's why I recommend philosophy to all young people. That way you learn to deal with loneliness. And if you want to start right away, you can watch Shadguru's videos, he has an answer to almost everything.
You are correct, to not be lonely it requires vulnerability. It also requires effort and bravery. Someone needs to be the one that initiates face to face interaction and maintain semi constant communication with the other person.
You can argumentate that the "cure to loneliness" is to truly enjoy your own presence, but while that is way too simple of an answer it is way too complicated to achieve. While the internet is there and you can talk to someone two continents over and see anything in just a few seconds, i think it can also make you feel a little more lonely because while there is someone on the other line, there isn't someone over there with you sharing the same space, when you get off the internet you don't really see the internet people you talk to everyday You pretty much went over everything i was going to comment lol, so there isn't much, i agree with you!! Cool shirt btw
You are an intelligent, interesting girl👍. It's interesting to see u speak like this. I empathise completely even though I'm a guy and much older than you. The last of my family died in 2023, I am in a foreign country and 100% alone. Ironic that now we all have the net but we are these days further Apart than ever . With respect I must tell you that u are talented, good looking and intelligent. I hope 2025 will be better for u Soliel
being alone and enjoying it isn't the same as loneliness, you need some small form of human interaction, every day to keep a stable mental state. I find that walking everyday, trying to be helpful when I'm out and about, from offering assistance, to holding a door open, and third I try to complement anyone around me about some quality, from clothes , to shoes ect. Also I put my phone in my pocket, and walk around with my eyes open. This attitude does wonders for my mental state. Last don't be afraid to walk up to people and talk to them....at least half of the people I stop to talk with, light up when you say something, like where are you from?
Whether you like it or not we men tend to gain more wisdom and knowledge from loneliness & solitude whereas your kind usually get more wrinkles so hurry up and find yourself an adequate man, time is of the essence, more so to women.
Loneliness is a fear we all face. The great ones will find a way to turn the fear into fearlessness. I like the way you think.
Hi Soleil, I enjoyed this thoughtful and expressive video, thank you. It's interesting to hear you discuss things I've thought or felt myself. In fact it makes me feel less alone. I hope you feel comfortable enough to share more videos like this.
I hate cameras (face timing), Telephones or Cell Phones, Stage Fright, trying to talk to Doctors etc.. Been that most of my life... but I have never been lonely... because I have always been alone...
Perhaps I'm envious of you having those feelings of loneliness... I grew up post WW2, in a very rural atmosphere, discriminated against because we were immigrants.... I leaned to not depend on other people for anything social. Of course I am empathic, I sense peoples emotions and able to avoid them...
You are right, to replace social physical interaction, by having connections like this with you or just information from YT... Though I did find myself having connection with nurses and doctors during visits or like last year during lead up to and following an operation... I looked forward to the meetings...
This is an interesting discussion, even if one way 😁 A peek into the life of an old man (77) I hope you have a great year... I agree with most of what you have said... back in the day when I was your age, we would gather at a coffee bistro and discuss topics of the day, like this, drifting from one to another, into the wee hours of the morning... Mixed bag of people, from hippies like me to university types.... Not really friends, just casual acquaintances...
This is more genuine and to the point of modern human existence than the "social leaders" I hear every day.🙏
Thank you so much, Soleil, for this thoughtful, genuine, engaging, meaningful reflection on loneliness in contemporary societies. I enjoyed listening to your entire discourse. You are so insightful and intelligent, and you speak so lucidly. Much social science research supports your observation that there is a loneliness epidemic, as you astutely expressed it, and that its features and causes are multifactorial.You accurately identified several of these. I love listening to your singing as well as your speaking. Thank you for sharing your gifts here.
Thank you! 😇
You are certainly not the only one experiencing such things. Thank you for your honesty.
So proud of you having the strength to make this video. I think you are correct that technology is destroying direct human interaction. That alone promotes conflict and the fear to be involved in the real world. The cyber world promotes anonymity and is responsible for the source of the epidemic of online scams and some other misconducts as you said hide behind a screen. As a single person living alone and often working alone it is so easy to become introverted in a small world protected by self imposed barriers
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You made me feel a little less lonely.
You spoke very very well, it was very enjoyable to witness your expression. Validating too as the internet and media landscape props up conflict and sensationalism, so it's comforting to be shown there is a community of actually conscious humans such as yourself, out there in the silent majority. Your courage to express and connect may ignite millions more kindred spirits. To reciprocate comforting expression, here's something I've learned about overcoming loneliness after years of suffering from it: _Investigate any feeling; when the layers are all peeled back, we'll see that they're all rooted in an attempt to return to love. Why would we want to return to love? Because love is our natural homeostasis (home state), but modern life and our conditioned beliefs separate us from it. When we realise this, all attempts to return to love are taking a very long detour, including connecting with other people. All we need do is surrender the false beliefs on how we thought love worked, from the outside -> in. And remember that love is always inside, just waiting for permission to be released. Even in solitude we can give ourselves permission to feel the exuberant love we hold inside previously reserved only for our honeymoon. It's not a finite resource, it's infinite and lives beyond our body's lifetime. When our belief gatekeeper is surrendered, we can let compassionate love course through our entire being at will. Then the purpose of connecting with other people isn't as a solution for loneliness, It's to expand each other's consciousness and energy. We're all different, therefore everyone we meet will ultimately expand our consciousness and energy in different directions. Once we give our love permission to live freely within us, life transitions from being a void seeking love, to being love expressing itself and playing with life. In both times of solitude, yin/rest energy; and in times of connecting with others, yang/active energy. Our personal growth is tied to how frequently we experience both with open heart and soul presence._
Thanks for opening up.
RUclips randomly recommended this video. Thanks for being open and sharing your thoughts.
I used to stress out about being lonely, and then I met the woman that would later be my wife. We had a beautiful marriage. Eleven years later, I'm alone again. Nobody did anything wrong. We're still friends. It just didn't work out. Today, I'm technically alone but I don't feel lonely anymore. I think I give all the credit to my dog. My dog gets me out of bed. Gets me out walking. She's good with other people and breaking the ice with other people. As a result, despite being alone I feel "well liked" by strangers. It's a good feeling. So being alone just doesn't feel like a problem anymore.
Very insightful analysis Soleil. In these days of that ceaseless narcissism, which is so utterly tied to capitalism, most people want to avoid making that connection because, of course, it implies the things that are wrong about it as a system.
The irony of the internet will always be that despite all the outlets for communication it opens, it somehow leaves us feeling lonelier than ever. But if there's one good thing to say about it, it's that it allows for anyone to communicate issues such as these. I'm just a random person on the globe, but because I stumbled upon this video, I now know there's someone out there named Soleil that harbors many of the same feelings as I do. While this doesn't fully eradicate the loneliness, it brings some solace to know we're able to connect through shared thoughts and emotions.
So....hello Soleil. It's nice to meet you 🙂I wish you well and hope life brings you companionship.
One thing is loneliness is kind of like this desire to have a void filled by someone else. While it can kind of have this romantic perception, it is probably better to try to let go of that desire.
Another thought that came to mind when I started this video and you touched on towards the end is yes, the willingness to put yourself out there. Also this idea of finding people in a very specific way. It almost seems that people want to get lucky and find the one "by chance". But it kinda seems like the act of always putting yourself out there is the more fruitful method. But nobody wants to know "we met bc he/she asked me and so many other people to do things, and it ended up clicking between us". They always want to be "he/she asked only me".
Random but, what ethnicity are you by the way?
Sometimes we all feel some sort of loneliness and all we need is to talk to someone and feel the connection. You can reach out if you ever feel the need to talk about anything...💖
Thank you! I really enjoy it when you make these type of videos sharing your thoughts. I'm not sure if that is entirely good or not, since you're feeling lonely, but I'll just say it and try not to curate it. ;) I'm gonna make waayyy too long of a comment, though.
I agree with most of what you said. I don't have the answer either, at least not generally. For me, loneliness was something I experienced a lot when I was young, though in truth I spent a lot more time interacting with people back then. When I felt lonely, I would go full Shakespearean and savor the depths of melancholy. Stay up all night writing bad poetry. Stare at a wall for hours just... feeling my loneliness. Sortof like how being spanked is painful, but with a lover it might be a good pain. (I couldn't really think of another way to explain the idea, sorry!) So if you make the pain your lover, you can embrace it. And then it goes away once you get used to it being there. That kinda ruins the metaphor since it's supposed to be positive. But still. I guess you have to be a fundamentally optimistic person for that to be helpful, a pessimist might just keep spiraling downwards.
The truth though, for the loneliness of youth you only have to survive it. If you still feel lonely when you're older, it will be a different type of loneliness. Probably. For most people, I think.
Connecting with people online... it was easier 20 years ago because we only had realtime chat rooms. Now people post, and comment, and it's more curated. But even in the ancient world, 2500 years ago, there were people who had close friendships entirely through letters! It was rare, but it did happen. I think now it is easier, though perhaps just as unlikely.
14:00 "You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens." - Rumi
It was a surprise to see this sort of video from you (different from the usual covers and songs). Still, a pleasant surprise. I’d need to listen and sit with everything you’ve said before I can say for sure that I agree with everything, but I can say I at least agree and resonate with most of the points you’ve made. I’m a therapist who has heard about and witnessed how different people have struggled with and been affected by a sense of loneliness. And as just a human being in the world, I’m also someone who has dealt with and still deals with feelings of loneliness, even when I know there are plenty of people in my life I can and do connect with. But it does feel harder sometimes to maintain consistent, genuine connections under the systems in which we currently live. And the ease of access via technology I think was meant to and has sometimes made it possible to stay connected and maintain relationships others across distances. But it also does make it easier to feel less inclined to spend physical time with people, and as you said, technology has been used all too often to cause harm to people. And the systems upon which several societies often work to divide people. All that said, the fact that you made this video I think is one great way to use technology to mitigate loneliness. And I hope by seeing all the comments people have left on here to engage with your video have also helped you feel less lonely.
Yeah, I too have been feeling lonely for a long time. In fact I wrote a rhyme Regarding this specific subject that has been on my mind!!!!
Here we go again. Just me and my friend loneliness. Oh, how I miss your intimate kiss, Every time throughout my life, I feel this bliss.Darkness comes to throw me into the abyss
I enjoy your discussions Soleil. I am surprised that a young woman like yourself with such good communication skills and attractive, has trouble with relationships. I guess we all have these issues. No one is immune from loneliness. We all have our good and bad days. Thanks for sharing.
I love existential discussions like this and your positions are well-thought out. I found myself embarrassingly talking to the screen.
I'd argue it really is primarily social media. We are the first generations to experience this level of interconnectivity and digital interaction. Like children who find a bag of candy, we haven't developed the maturity to use this interconnectivity wisely, and are instead feeling the sickness of the endorphin/sugar overindulgence. I'm 44, when I was young TV was limited to what videos the broadcast channels were airing at that time. Music was limited to what was playing on the radio. Video games were available, but I was considered a nerd if I shared that I enjoyed them. What did this mean? Well, if I wanted entertainment I had to go outside and interact with people. I'm a very introverted person, but boredom even got me out there and making friends in the neighborhood.
I'm definitely pro-capitalism, but today, we are encouraging people to build these fake online influencer personas, because it is a successful marketing strategy and leads to increased product sales. Instead of striving to be an athlete, pilot, astronaut, engineer, lawyer, doctor, CEO, inventor, we are telling young people that success is being pretty, glamorous, and attention grabbing online. Of course society will move towards narcissism in that environment.
There is so much we need to change, but I think a start would be to get children off of social media until they have had an opportunity to build those social skills and a sense of community in the real world.
Good night Soleil. I will say the focus everyone has is on "me". And then it gets confusing when you tubers try and say one has to love self before one can love another. I am struggling myself in that my work position tends to lend itself into not having close friends. So I try and break itno groups in "real life" that I like but seldom egt "out there"....therefore I try to become close to some on line. And find it is plain they are not interested in on line connections. I've also found all the self help videos on limerance and like topics to not be too helpful. Most of them just end up saying "put yourself out there". Easier said than done. Take care. x
Shes so beautiful! :3
👏👏👏 Everything you said is true, for old and young people alike. As you said, loneliness eats you up if you can't deal with it. That's why I recommend philosophy to all young people. That way you learn to deal with loneliness. And if you want to start right away, you can watch Shadguru's videos, he has an answer to almost everything.
For a better life, make loneliness your friend and solitude your sanctuary. 🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖💖
You are correct, to not be lonely it requires vulnerability. It also requires effort and bravery. Someone needs to be the one that initiates face to face interaction and maintain semi constant communication with the other person.
You can argumentate that the "cure to loneliness" is to truly enjoy your own presence, but while that is way too simple of an answer it is way too complicated to achieve.
While the internet is there and you can talk to someone two continents over and see anything in just a few seconds, i think it can also make you feel a little more lonely because while there is someone on the other line, there isn't someone over there with you sharing the same space, when you get off the internet you don't really see the internet people you talk to everyday
You pretty much went over everything i was going to comment lol, so there isn't much, i agree with you!! Cool shirt btw
i resonate w/ this a lot
loneliness your silent wishper in the night fill a river of tears.
You are an intelligent, interesting girl👍. It's interesting to see u speak like this. I empathise completely even though I'm a guy and much older than you. The last of my family died in 2023, I am in a foreign country and 100% alone. Ironic that now we all have the net but we are these days further Apart than ever . With respect I must tell you that u are talented, good looking and intelligent. I hope 2025 will be better for u Soliel
being alone and enjoying it isn't the same as loneliness, you need some small form of human interaction, every day to keep a stable mental state. I find that walking everyday, trying to be helpful when I'm out and about, from offering assistance, to holding a door open, and third I try to complement anyone around me about some quality, from clothes , to shoes ect. Also I put my phone in my pocket, and walk around with my eyes open. This attitude does wonders for my mental state. Last don't be afraid to walk up to people and talk to them....at least half of the people I stop to talk with, light up when you say something, like where are you from?
healing wishes.
Is that Ibanez or Jackson?
❤️
I had a cup of tea! I don't anymore... lol
I could listen to you all day the difference between you and I is you are lonely where I am a loner
Lonliness stems from the conceit 'I am'
Sabbe Sankhara Annica
All Conditions are Impermanent
“I was recording then it crashed” ah the RUclips initiation ritual
She is cute.
I think I painted your office in Oklahoma
your name is the same as a girl i used to know.
very well spoken dont forget god loves all people his children May God's love surround you always and fill your heart with endless joy god bless
🤓🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Mental illness …. God is your crutch 🩼
❤🙏 God Bless You ❤🙏😇
Whether you like it or not we men tend to gain more wisdom and knowledge from loneliness & solitude whereas your kind usually get more wrinkles so hurry up and find yourself an adequate man, time is of the essence, more so to women.