Take Back Your Power and Start Loving Your Life | Mel Robbins

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  • Опубликовано: 30 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 83

  • @HeatherJoy-gu5cg
    @HeatherJoy-gu5cg День назад +2

    🤚🏻💥🙏🏻 At my 2nd job(because my husband will not get a job) I listened to this. Whoa!! Listening to it a second time now...Thank you @Brook & @Mel for this truly blessing of a podcast🦋that I SO needed to hear!

  • @btjchase
    @btjchase 3 дня назад +5

    Mel, You were so kind and patient with this young woman and truly care about both her and her boyfriend. Being patient and asking good non-judgmental questions I think was truly a blessing for her. I’m sure she felt much better after having this session with you. This is what makes
    You such a great coach, listener, and person!❤

  • @alex-andri
    @alex-andri 4 дня назад +22

    I allowed myself to become stuck in a similar relationship. I knew early on that he was wrong for me but I stayed in the cycle of not wanting to stay but not leaving. Moral of the story I wasted 8 precious years of my life that I'll never get back. You can heal, you can better your career, you can make more money, but you can never make up 8 years of your life. I literally robbed myself of knowing a healthy, reciprocal relationship. I still live with the regret of not believing I was worth better.

  • @catherinemukua3309
    @catherinemukua3309 День назад +1

    Wow!! Just listening to this made me tear up.Thank you Mel for extending so much compassion to this lady.Mathey Hussey calls this the one day wager.Its investing your all with the hope that someone will one day become what you wanted them to be come which may never happen
    I would highly recommend this lady to read the book,"Women who love to much" Robin Norwood This book explains why most women attract or tolerate "broken men."

  • @KellyMueller-e5g
    @KellyMueller-e5g 4 дня назад +14

    Brooke - you’re stronger than you think! It’s so hard. I just got out of a toxic narcissist relationship and I finally realized I deserve better. I am in a relationship now that is healthier.

  • @JenniferJane78
    @JenniferJane78 4 дня назад +16

    This is one of the greatest episodes, as so many of us have been in that awkward seat.

  • @HelpdeskInParadise
    @HelpdeskInParadise 2 дня назад +2

    I hope you continue to support this young woman, Mel. She’s going to need it. She kind of gets what you’re saying, but she was delighted to have an option where she can continue to fix this guy. He is using her and this is abuse. She needs to get into therapy. He is an evil narcissist. BTW, great job, Mel! I was with you every second of the way, and you kept amazing me.

  • @beneath.the.rosesluciddrea8470
    @beneath.the.rosesluciddrea8470 4 дня назад +10

    The way Mel won't let "I don't know" stop the flow is really inspiring. I say it a lot too... I'm going to start saying, "yes you do" back to myself.

  • @annieplante3081
    @annieplante3081 4 дня назад +7

    You are so brave to share such personal stuff. Bravo to you.
    I was married to a liar for 18 years. I finally chose myself and my kids over me being unhappy and angry at him all the time. I am so happy now. Been dating the guy I was in love with in highschool. 4 years together soon.
    You can do this. You deserve better. ❤

  • @NextwithNikki
    @NextwithNikki 4 дня назад +21

    I’m a 53 year old mum of 4 adults and girl take Mel’s advice very seriously and do this. You just have to. As a mother if you were my daughter I’ll expect you to do this. Stay blessed ❤ You are a beautiful young woman and you deserve better. And if I’m his mum I will expect him to go to therapy and not drag another person down with him.

  • @beneath.the.rosesluciddrea8470
    @beneath.the.rosesluciddrea8470 4 дня назад +7

    "I'm a little hurt, but a lot more free"
    Another song that would help you get through this. Your boundaries MATTER. Your needs are IMPORTANT. ❤

  • @WiseOwl_so_1d_like_to_think
    @WiseOwl_so_1d_like_to_think 3 дня назад +3

    Absolutely spot on advice. I would add a side comment. Some of us have a “saviour” tendency because we are deeply rooted in compassion, and we feel that we CAN help to save someone less able. This is well documented in literature. My stepdaughter was in such relationship in her late teens. She took on so much baggage because she cared, and thought she could “save” this boy and his younger siblings from a sad family situation. When she finally got out of it, she went back on track for herself, completed her studies, got a degree, became a professional social worker, and is now in a stable, more equal relationship, with a dear little daughter, and most importantly, a healthy FUTURE! Brooke needs to make some hard choices for all involved. It’s called brave and tough love.

  • @carolmchale4348
    @carolmchale4348 4 дня назад +24

    Honey you can’t save him. Save yourself and go to counseling and let him go

  • @barbarachappuis766
    @barbarachappuis766 9 часов назад

    Such a beautiful soul. Anyone can make this mistake at any age. I've 'invested' and pretty much wasted the last 18 years of my life doing the same thing, and I have many years of therapy under my belt. Were there some good times? Yes, but very few, and I'm not even sure those were authentic or just me living my fantasy in my head. Mel, you're so patient and kind!
    Brooke, you've got this. When your heart is ready, and you've honestly had enough. Hopefully, sooner than later. As you said, 'life is short.'

  • @eilishwarnes
    @eilishwarnes 3 дня назад +1

    Brooke I felt so much of this, I promise prioritising yourself will be the best thing you can do for you, and also your son’s life. It’s not easy and will be a long road, but you deserve more.

  • @maevey3
    @maevey3 4 дня назад +9

    Awww, what a beautiful girl. She's like a mini Mel with a mini Oakley. Hope she gets the high standards in a relationship that she deserves.

  • @virgochick222
    @virgochick222 4 дня назад +4

    The "I wanna be you" was adorable and i feel exactly the same ❤

  • @nettadebeer9936
    @nettadebeer9936 4 дня назад +9

    If he loves you…he will do anything to make you trust him..we all want to be loved ..in all the right ways…
    I do have a daughter and went through all her relationships…now she have someone that adores her…
    And she is alive now …I went through tears and tears..and tears..now it’s only happiness…

    • @victoriapalmer5146
      @victoriapalmer5146 4 дня назад +1

      I noticed every time she role played with Mel she started all the conversations with I love you I love you so much and he hears this and knows this and knows he can get away with anything she won't kick him out if she does she'll take him back it is obvious to him he is okay with playing the game she needs to stop saying she loves him because of the reality she really doesn't she just doesn't see that she says I love you I love you because she can't say it to herself because she didn't get the attention and love from her mother she needs to stop telling him I love you with every conversation and stop taking him back she is teaching him that it is okay to treat her this way

    • @missnya4368
      @missnya4368 4 дня назад

      Wow you are so right ​@@victoriapalmer5146

  • @lisap3344
    @lisap3344 4 дня назад +5

    Girl you and your son deserve the best , take out the garbage and live for you !!! Also if he was so ready to hook up with someone else WOW that speaks volumes girl 😮. Also girl DONT PAY FOR HIS THERAPY , pay for your own ❤

  • @kathleenb8767
    @kathleenb8767 4 дня назад +2

    Who are these other guest speakers? I made it to the end and heard some things that I wish I heard way back during my marriage. I had lost my power and myself in that relationship. Tried for 15 years to save it. Had to leave to save myself. I still struggle w allowing myself. Matthew’s advice that it’s our number one job to take care of me is moving. I put everyone else ahead of me. It’s tough giving yourself permission. I keep telling myself someday. It’s all about worthiness. Thanks Mel for these great episodes.

  • @randiking5275
    @randiking5275 4 дня назад +19

    This is not your job to support him totally for years. You deserve to be with an equal. Someone who is working and improving. Don't waste years of your life. Sometimes people and situations don't change, or can't change, even if they are a good person. You deserve better. Work on yourself, and attract someone who has love to give in a healthy way.

    • @laurasebastian2822
      @laurasebastian2822 3 дня назад +1

      He sounds like an emotional child. Take him for what he is, what you see in front of you. Not his potential.

  • @JoyelAnsorge-r6n
    @JoyelAnsorge-r6n 4 дня назад +9

    I will take my power back

  • @galynadidenko1637
    @galynadidenko1637 3 дня назад +1

    What a brave beautiful young woman... ❤
    You are doing amazingly!

  • @carolmchale4348
    @carolmchale4348 4 дня назад +12

    If you can’t do it with Mel you won’t be able to do it with him. You don’t want to do it because you already know how it is going to go. Let him go

  • @Lia9193
    @Lia9193 4 дня назад +12

    Girl….… leave him. Seriously LEAVE HIM. You‘re literally paying the man to be with you. You’re not helping him by staying either! Honey, you can do so much better than that. Pack your stuff and go to your parents if you can’t find another way out. You have to put yourself first! You can’t always be overly understanding, be more selfish. This has been going on for 2 years now and he didn’t change. If you want to play his mother and take care of him then fine do it, but you’re not doing yourself a favor. Have self-respect. What you’re not changing, you’re choosing. Don’t be afraid to leave, you can find new love.

  • @HappyDays6058
    @HappyDays6058 3 дня назад +2

    OMG, RUN!!😮

  • @jamionmi1988
    @jamionmi1988 4 дня назад +4

    Love you Mel

  • @MaryJSeverson
    @MaryJSeverson 3 дня назад

    Just from what I see- you are a great young lady - who deserves so much better

  • @queenofgoodmoneyhabits
    @queenofgoodmoneyhabits 3 дня назад +1

    ❤🙏🏼❤Brooke, Mel was absolutely right! The fear of being alone can indeed trap us in toxic relationships. Prioritizing self-love-learning to love yourself, living independently, setting boundaries, and seeking support-are crucial steps to breaking free. While challenging, it's ultimately better to leave than endure a lifetime of one-sided, draining dynamics. Reflecting on my own experience, my mother financially supported six children and my father, who was too lazy to work, always drunk, smoking two packs of cigarettes a day, philandering (we have half-siblings), and violent. She stayed because she loved him and did not want to break up our family. Sadly, she died a miserable woman, and we had one hell of a life. In simple words, my mother F---- up our lives for staying with my father. You deserve better. What kind of example are you setting for your son, Oakley? Get better for both of you! YOU CAN DO THIS! #loveyourself #selfcare #befree #toxicrelationships ❤🙏🏼❤🙏🏼❤🙏🏼❤

  • @taryndorsey5581
    @taryndorsey5581 4 дня назад +1

    Good on her for talking and working through this. ❤

  • @mayrajaimes9290
    @mayrajaimes9290 4 дня назад +9

    Mel , is the best friend that everyone deserves 🫶🏼

  • @Favorites0119
    @Favorites0119 3 дня назад

    Best episode yet!

  • @missnya4368
    @missnya4368 4 дня назад

    Wow everything mel said spot on! I really hope she moves on she deserves better

  • @JulieNicolePruett
    @JulieNicolePruett 4 дня назад +1

    Mel!!! Two snaps and a twist! 😂I freaking LOVE YOU!!!
    And to Brooke....you are strong, smart, and obviously know what's up. You don't need this guy's sh*t. If at first you don't succeed...flush, flush, and flush again lol.
    I was with a guy for a year (we did not live together, thankfully) who had a MAJOR (yet unbelievably functional) alcohol problem. He wouldn't get help, so I broke it off. It hurt, and it sucked, and I was sad for many months afterward, but deep down, I know I did right by myself. Just like Mel is saying, you know exactly what the right thing is for **you**. You have the answers already. Now go out there and whoop some a**, girl!❤

  • @nikkilandsberger5010
    @nikkilandsberger5010 2 дня назад +1

    My husband is 50 years old and his mother always chose the man (abusive to her and her son) and my husband has chosen to distance himself from his mother due to her never choosing to protect him. Please take care of your son. ❤ We believe in you, Brooke!!

  • @AdamBaker-vq2rp
    @AdamBaker-vq2rp 3 дня назад

    Wow, there’s a side to Mel that I have never seen before.. 100% accurate

  • @chammeana
    @chammeana 4 дня назад +8

    Brook love yourself 😢He was talking to someone else? After all you did for him. No no no no just no he has to go. Please leave that man alone. Let someone else take care of him so that you can take care of yourself.

  • @BeOutstanding
    @BeOutstanding 4 дня назад +1

    Love yourself
    Resp

  • @SherryTomlinson-r2y
    @SherryTomlinson-r2y 4 дня назад +3

    I had a short time marriage with a bum. He wouldn’t work when he did he always did something shady and got fired. My father paid his fees big money for one of his screw ups. He remarried and stayed married to a woman who totally supported him. Honestly, not a doubt in my mind if he hadn’t found this woman who pays for everything including his addiction to pot, before it was legal. He would had ended up in jail- probably a lot !
    Listen to Mel and stick to your guns!

  • @beautydialyblog8554
    @beautydialyblog8554 4 дня назад +1

    More of these videos mell❤😢

  • @lisap3344
    @lisap3344 4 дня назад

    Yes !!!! Great advice ❤

  • @karimaechols6116
    @karimaechols6116 4 дня назад

    Thank you

  • @eficioperez328
    @eficioperez328 4 дня назад +1

    I go take my power back

  • @eduardotamargo8615
    @eduardotamargo8615 4 дня назад +3

    Tough love sucks, but like exercise; Necessary.

  • @RachelIsaak-i8s
    @RachelIsaak-i8s 3 дня назад

    I need your help yes!!!

  • @Lana-tx9ee
    @Lana-tx9ee 3 дня назад

    When I say I related to this..❤

  • @beneath.the.rosesluciddrea8470
    @beneath.the.rosesluciddrea8470 4 дня назад +3

    Is this love? Or is this codependency? Is this love? Or is this fear based?
    Ditch him and use the money you save on healing yourself with high quality therapy and other healing modalities.

  • @PeterKalivas
    @PeterKalivas 4 дня назад +2

    "its NOT CONFUSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

  • @beneath.the.rosesluciddrea8470
    @beneath.the.rosesluciddrea8470 4 дня назад +5

    Oooooooph. That's not your boyfriend, that's your teenage child. If you cant bring up uncomfortable topics of conversation with your SO, that's not a healthy or sustainable relationship.
    You are not his mother! Start playing the old J.Lo song "I ain't your mama" 😅
    You are really pretty and sound like you have a lot going for you and you work hard and love hard. Woman! You deserve more! Do not settle for disappointment.
    You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
    He has to take the steps to healing.. if he needs to get his head right first he needs to take responsibility for the young version of himself and go to therapy.
    YOU ARE NOT HIS THERAPIST it's not your job to therapist-ize him. He needs to go to a professional.
    He is clearly stuck in his childhood...he is trying to take back his lost youth and heal that young person inside of him. He needs therapy. Maybe CBT? But he needs a professional.

    • @az55544
      @az55544 4 дня назад

      Jeeze, lady. "Let them" doesn't mean letting someone walk all over you.
      He is bullying you.
      You're in love with his potential, not him. You said this multiple times. Be freaked out.
      Walk.

  • @Eva.Collins
    @Eva.Collins 4 дня назад

    Great episode!

  • @JessByer
    @JessByer 3 дня назад +1

    Does He Contribute In Other Ways To The House You Share ?
    If So, In Which Way Exactly?

  • @BalajiB-u9x
    @BalajiB-u9x 4 дня назад

    Mel 's follower from india

  • @hiromikoshi9366
    @hiromikoshi9366 4 дня назад

    My question is: how can I find a good therapist? Many present themselves as “good” but fail to consider that patients might not be truthful or may see things only from their own perspective. There’s often no deep discussion. Some just prescribe medications for depression or pain without addressing the root cause. I still haven’t found a truly good therapist.

  • @JeepTJay6
    @JeepTJay6 2 дня назад

    32:50 🙌

  • @Rozhbyrozhi
    @Rozhbyrozhi День назад

    How can i have an episode with you? I’m a very unique case to study! Really, i mean it.

  • @robynatkinson9863
    @robynatkinson9863 3 дня назад

    Names of the people in podcast inserts please 🙏

  • @janshivley
    @janshivley 4 дня назад

    She has a son who should be first in her life right after herself

  • @PeterKalivas
    @PeterKalivas 4 дня назад

    yup

  • @katrina3560
    @katrina3560 4 дня назад +3

    You can't plan a future with a person who isn't willing to participate in life in general. AND you guys split, and he sought a 10 year younger NAIVE women to attempt and glom onto. Run, Hon.

  • @santisanti8386
    @santisanti8386 4 дня назад

    The worrisome thing is that he will be given one more chance to manipulate her and stay. And he already chose another woman over Brook the minute she decided their relationship wasn't working. And the boy is being put second because of that manipulator. He is taking away Oakley's time, attention and money from his mom.

  • @neemo9885
    @neemo9885 2 дня назад

    1:06:50

  • @yvettebennett6170
    @yvettebennett6170 4 дня назад

    She definately needs to find the mama bear that lives inside her and do this for her son and herself.

  • @MyMazyCat
    @MyMazyCat 4 дня назад +2

    GET RID of that worthless guy you are with!! He has ZERO respect for you and will never be what you want! Focus on your mental health stop thinking about men and when you’re mentally healthy, you will meet a mentally healthy man. It’s that simple.

  • @Malia_00001
    @Malia_00001 4 дня назад +3

    Bye, bye BF!!!

  • @veshaw.
    @veshaw. 4 дня назад +1

    My advice Don't give him any more 😺😺 he'll get up and start working when his 🏀🏀's Turn blue 🔵🔵 Ladies you gotta be strong

  • @shannonhart5580
    @shannonhart5580 3 дня назад

    That's not a relationship; it's an addiction. And it's just as harmful to you as your friend's drug use was to her.
    Brooke, you cannot trust your own feelings or logic right now. You won't be able to think clearly until you are out from under this.
    Intervene for yourself and get away, just as you wish your best friend could have done for herself.

  • @btjchase
    @btjchase 3 дня назад

    Brook, Listen to this until you can talk to your boyfriend the way Mel spoke to him when you and Mel were role playing.

  • @ac4181
    @ac4181 2 дня назад

    Could he letting something snowball as to why he isnt working? The more time goes on, the more fear builds. Fear of applying, truly believing you'll be shamed about your job gap. I wish i could explain better. If there is something psychological, she still can't bear the brunt.

  • @lightshade2689
    @lightshade2689 4 дня назад +1

    this is waaaaay too specific

  • @soooonya2
    @soooonya2 День назад

    Brooke, go to therapy yourself! Instead of dragging a man that clearly doesn’t want that for himself at the moment. Learn why and how You got there and how to make changes and build new life. In paradoxically people that love you will go along with the changes. And other people will naturally fall off the wagon. Everyone benefits when we first “put the oxygen mask” on ourselves and then help others. If they want that it. Good luck! 🍀

  • @beneath.the.rosesluciddrea8470
    @beneath.the.rosesluciddrea8470 4 дня назад +1

    He is stuck at the age of trauma. He really needs professional therapy to work through trauma and ptsd.

  • @victoriapalmer5146
    @victoriapalmer5146 4 дня назад

    OMG seriously I've been down the path she is on years ago she is still trying to fix him if she tells him to go to therapy she's trying to fix him she is having a good example of what a man should do around her son. She needs to stop being dependent and learn Independence focus on her child and her career and just being happy she does not need a man to do this he is keeping her down if he has been in jail for 8 years you never should have hooked up with him unless you want to play caretaker and Mommy. He will never get a decent 9 to 5:00 job to bring in a Dependable quality income ever whether he's a good person or not he was incarcerated for 8 years he has no job references and 95% of businesses will not hire him I'm sorry Mel you are giving her wrong choices you're telling her to tell him to go into therapy for 3 months once a week if you wanted to do that he would have done that he has the mindset of an ex jail person in society is not going to give them a chance. She needs to set a good example for her son and she needs to walk away he's had 2 years she will never get that back

  • @JoanneCouture
    @JoanneCouture 16 часов назад

    Get rid of it!!!!

  • @GaroSargsyan-db9sn
    @GaroSargsyan-db9sn 3 дня назад

    🕊🙏🕊🤵🕊🙏🕊⚘⚘⚘😊

  • @karamaddocks2222
    @karamaddocks2222 4 дня назад

    2years supporting him Jesus that’s madness!
    You keeping him in victim mode! He’s choose this choices consequences are what make people grow and do right! She just allowing him to feel sorry for him self!

  • @ruthmarner6582
    @ruthmarner6582 4 дня назад

    She needs to dump him. Pronto. Let’s get real. She can find someone else. Or, she can be single. Come on. Let’s use some common sense here.

  • @PeachesCream-hh8mz
    @PeachesCream-hh8mz 4 дня назад

    Beneficial podcast BUT WHY FOUL language? It does not impart the message any better.

  • @Amb.CHHolland
    @Amb.CHHolland 4 дня назад

    I do not give Mell my consent