Somewhere on the comments page of the Suicide video Ren wrote this but it wasn’t pinned so it can get lost in the comments. This is beautiful and everyone should read it. Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write. Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday. I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since. My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew. Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised. Turn on notifications for the video here: ruclips.net/video/n3JNtfi4Vb0/видео.html Raising money for RNLI : www.justgiving.com/page/ren-gill-1685546882254?Link&/ren-gill-1685546882254& Freckled Angels album: renmakesmerch.com/products/freckled-angels-cd Presave Suic*de: found.ee/ren-suic-de
I love how the beat he created for this song is literally the beat of footsteps walking down a street. The song is addressing people walking down the tracks in the night time and literally painting that picture with the most simple beat. Lulu was even swaying to the beat like a walking rhythm at one point. I lost my brother to suicide almost 20 years ago and he was walking the tracks waiting for the train to come, so that gives me a very harsh reminder of what he was going through, but it's cathartic at the same time. It's like a little connection to a man that I'll never see again.
Yes it was his friend Joe. Ren got a call from another friend that Joe had rung her and was saying goodbye from the bridge. Ren lived the closest to the bridge and ran to try to get to him but didn’t make it in time. Can you imagine that feeling…. So heartbreaking.
I can... My friend hung himself 10 meters from where I was sleeping... I heard nothing.... He was off the night before and I didn't check on him... I just thought we'll speak in the morning .. see what's up..... I failed him.. I 've learned to cope with the guilt... but I will always be guilty. and I can never forgive myself.... I don't care what it takes from me... I will never risk that again... I refuse to make that mistake again.. Sorry for dumping after your post..
You didn't fail him , you just didn't know how he felt , I suffer from PTSD after 16 years in the army and things I've seen and done , those closest to me never knew how I felt because I didn't want to burden them with what I thought was my weakness, but my real weakness was not telling them how I felt , I'm on the road to recovery now , thanks to a great brain doc and an even better support group , don't beat yourself up to much and speak to a therapist yourself
@@simoncampbell3144 thank you... He suffered with the same affliction and now I'm married to a wonderful woman who also shares in it... It means a lot to hear that . I'm so happy to hear you're doing better and this probably sounds weird from a stranger.. but I have a huge amount of respect for you taking the step to seek help. That alone makes you a badass in my book.. I'm sure there are other things too... Take care and good luck
@@spooncomment3359 you can dump on my post anytime! Just writing this out may have been cathartic for you, and so I’m happy you did. But please know, it’s not your fault. I understand how hard it can be to not feel that way. Survivors guilt is a real thing. But he didn’t want you to know and people are very very good at hiding what they don’t want known. You know, I know, and I’m sure he also knows.. that you would have done everything in your power to prevent it if you could have. Of course you would have. But it’s not the way things fall out some times and you have to give yourself grace. You sound like a good person. Believe that 🙏
First time i watched Hi Ren i had a panic attack I have PTSD and many other mental and physical health issues but thought i needed to watch it again so i watched someone reacting to it that was the best thing i could do i have watched many times since. One thing i think about the Hi Ren and SUICIDE songs is it needs to be seen by every one even in schools, because how many children kill themselves because of the negativity towards them from nasty comments and bullying to them believing what is said. I went through hell, bullied all through school to the point i attempted suicide twice, if there was something in place for children at that time and even now how many Suicides could have been prevented. Both these songs open up conversations helping others to talk about what they are feeling. As for Ads on video's these songs are perfect for Ads on mental health awareness and help lines for those who need them
OMG reading the back story gets you. I don't normally listen to this type of songs BUT this was an experience for me. You never know what someone is going through, what they are walking through in their life. Being able to keep it open within your family, children and life is so important. Growing up in the eighties we never talked about suicide or mental health issues. Thank you Ren for the video and your song writing skills.
thank you for reacting to this heartfelt song sending love to you both from the UK, and thank you for continuing to support my favourite artist ever ❤❤❤❤
We never met but I love you guys. And anyone else that reads this I love you too. We've all been blessed and cursed with fellings and emotions and we're all trying to figure out what this existence really means that we we've been involuntarily thrown into. A bunch of imperfect beings on a spinning ball of mud circling a star as we hurdle through space. Be kind to one another and most importantly be kind to yourself.
He already wrote "Freckled Angels" about him, 12 years ago. "How to be me" was recorded at the bridge Joe jumped off. I'm so glad I never came to that point, despite depression. I'm more glad I'm having an ability to feel other peoples pain - two collegues and now friends told me I saved their lives.. that's worth so much, worth fighting on, worth staying alive - and worth not causing the harm to the people around me who would miss me, like Ren misses Joe..so beautiful. Ren is a once in a lifetime artist.
He got a message saying Joe was at the bridge and he'd phoned his family. He tried to save him. Joe was his bestie. He was the first there at the bridge and had been phoning him, but it was engaged and then again when he phoned nearer the bridge he got the 'no service' message. He nearly got there and that's what he says in the lyrics. He's incredibly brave putting it out there and laying bare how raw his emotions are and how it's affected him. He donated the money made from his first album 'Freckled Angels' the title track also about Joe to the RNLI who searched for days trying to find Joe on the water but sadly to no avail.
I have watched that video many times, but never been more unaffected by it as I was when watching your faces watching it. Thank you. When I'm feeling over-emotional I'll always be able to come back here and remember how to be stoic in the face of extreme emotion.
There's nothing wrong with showing emotion man. Us men, we're not great at that, loosening that steam valve and releasing the pressure when we need to.
fORGET WE ... Just share and be in the moment, BECAUSE life is the enjoyment, caring and sharing please find employment, being you, sovereign and true. When you talk, you'll find your walk, we outsiders will find you and encourage truth, be your friend and like your sibling, love you like we are caring, and true.
If you are on it. if you done ..ts more lonely, painful, more suffering ...why on earth you do that...every body has its own burden . But never allow yourself to put in a pit of fire forever that you will ever regret.. We are in this world and there are a lot of people who are ready to help us, they have heart to love you . And more find yourself you are not here just to live but theres great reason of your existence..... Know The CREATOR.... He loves you so much, ad HE doesnt want you to end your life in a garbage of fire.. HE wants HIS children to be happy and enjoy paradise at the end where no pains and suffering. All is joy and love... Un ex plainable feeling... I am elling this bec. I've experience. I was about to die. But i just went somewhere above the worldso wnderful so beautiful and i told to the one who accmpained me idon want to go back never, but suddnly i came back.. So i was sad then. . So im here telling you that heaven is so real.. Never think of suicide... Never... GOD loves you so so much.. Pls find HIM . Where are you pls. Talk to me say it when you feel you are alone.. Love you
They dont show there sign, i have 3 ppl who become sucide and they didnt show that they feel so much pain! or anny letters! And i still wounder what i could have done .
If ur feeling pain, reach out: 988lifeline.org/
John X Lulu Wicked: linktr.ee/johnxlulu
Somewhere on the comments page of the Suicide video Ren wrote this but it wasn’t pinned so it can get lost in the comments. This is beautiful and everyone should read it.
Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write.
Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday.
I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again.
This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary.
Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe.
Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then.
On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left.
Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late.
Joe’s body was never found.
Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe.
As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.
My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew.
Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came.
During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised.
Turn on notifications for the video here: ruclips.net/video/n3JNtfi4Vb0/видео.html
Raising money for RNLI :
www.justgiving.com/page/ren-gill-1685546882254?Link&/ren-gill-1685546882254&
Freckled Angels album: renmakesmerch.com/products/freckled-angels-cd
Presave Suic*de: found.ee/ren-suic-de
Thx for sharing as we missed it. Going to pin this because it shed light on the video, and includes a link to contribute to a good cause.
I love how the beat he created for this song is literally the beat of footsteps walking down a street. The song is addressing people walking down the tracks in the night time and literally painting that picture with the most simple beat. Lulu was even swaying to the beat like a walking rhythm at one point. I lost my brother to suicide almost 20 years ago and he was walking the tracks waiting for the train to come, so that gives me a very harsh reminder of what he was going through, but it's cathartic at the same time. It's like a little connection to a man that I'll never see again.
Yes it was his friend Joe. Ren got a call from another friend that Joe had rung her and was saying goodbye from the bridge. Ren lived the closest to the bridge and ran to try to get to him but didn’t make it in time. Can you imagine that feeling…. So heartbreaking.
Survivor syndrome on top of everything else he deals with. Truly heartbreaking
I can... My friend hung himself 10 meters from where I was sleeping... I heard nothing.... He was off the night before and I didn't check on him... I just thought we'll speak in the morning .. see what's up..... I failed him.. I 've learned to cope with the guilt... but I will always be guilty. and I can never forgive myself.... I don't care what it takes from me... I will never risk that again... I refuse to make that mistake again.. Sorry for dumping after your post..
You didn't fail him , you just didn't know how he felt , I suffer from PTSD after 16 years in the army and things I've seen and done , those closest to me never knew how I felt because I didn't want to burden them with what I thought was my weakness, but my real weakness was not telling them how I felt , I'm on the road to recovery now , thanks to a great brain doc and an even better support group , don't beat yourself up to much and speak to a therapist yourself
@@simoncampbell3144 thank you... He suffered with the same affliction and now I'm married to a wonderful woman who also shares in it... It means a lot to hear that . I'm so happy to hear you're doing better and this probably sounds weird from a stranger.. but I have a huge amount of respect for you taking the step to seek help. That alone makes you a badass in my book.. I'm sure there are other things too... Take care and good luck
@@spooncomment3359 you can dump on my post anytime! Just writing this out may have been cathartic for you, and so I’m happy you did. But please know, it’s not your fault. I understand how hard it can be to not feel that way. Survivors guilt is a real thing. But he didn’t want you to know and people are very very good at hiding what they don’t want known. You know, I know, and I’m sure he also knows.. that you would have done everything in your power to prevent it if you could have. Of course you would have. But it’s not the way things fall out some times and you have to give yourself grace. You sound like a good person. Believe that 🙏
First time i watched Hi Ren i had a panic attack I have PTSD and many other mental and physical health
issues but thought i needed to watch it again so i watched someone reacting to it that was the best thing
i could do i have watched many times since. One thing i think about the Hi Ren and SUICIDE songs is it needs
to be seen by every one even in schools, because how many children kill themselves because of the negativity
towards them from nasty comments and bullying to them believing what is said. I went through hell, bullied all
through school to the point i attempted suicide twice, if there was something in place for children at that time
and even now how many Suicides could have been prevented. Both these songs open up conversations
helping others to talk about what they are feeling. As for Ads on video's these songs are perfect for Ads on
mental health awareness and help lines for those who need them
OMG reading the back story gets you. I don't normally listen to this type of songs BUT this was an experience for me. You never know what someone is going through, what they are walking through in their life. Being able to keep it open within your family, children and life is so important. Growing up in the eighties we never talked about suicide or mental health issues. Thank you Ren for the video and your song writing skills.
What a beautiful soul this artist is ❤🩹
thank you for reacting to this heartfelt song sending love to you both from the UK, and thank you for continuing to support my favourite artist ever ❤❤❤❤
We never met but I love you guys. And anyone else that reads this I love you too. We've all been blessed and cursed with fellings and emotions and we're all trying to figure out what this existence really means that we we've been involuntarily thrown into. A bunch of imperfect beings on a spinning ball of mud circling a star as we hurdle through space. Be kind to one another and most importantly be kind to yourself.
He already wrote "Freckled Angels" about him, 12 years ago. "How to be me" was recorded at the bridge Joe jumped off.
I'm so glad I never came to that point, despite depression. I'm more glad I'm having an ability to feel other peoples pain - two collegues and now friends told me I saved their lives.. that's worth so much, worth fighting on, worth staying alive - and worth not causing the harm to the people around me who would miss me, like Ren misses Joe..so beautiful. Ren is a once in a lifetime artist.
Never forget what you have done ❤
People don't pretend to be sad they only pretend to be happy
He got a message saying Joe was at the bridge and he'd phoned his family. He tried to save him. Joe was his bestie. He was the first there at the bridge and had been phoning him, but it was engaged and then again when he phoned nearer the bridge he got the 'no service' message. He nearly got there and that's what he says in the lyrics.
He's incredibly brave putting it out there and laying bare how raw his emotions are and how it's affected him.
He donated the money made from his first album 'Freckled Angels' the title track also about Joe to the RNLI who searched for days trying to find Joe on the water but sadly to no avail.
I have watched that video many times, but never been more unaffected by it as I was when watching your faces watching it. Thank you. When I'm feeling over-emotional I'll always be able to come back here and remember how to be stoic in the face of extreme emotion.
There's nothing wrong with showing emotion man. Us men, we're not great at that, loosening that steam valve and releasing the pressure when we need to.
fORGET WE ... Just share and be in the moment, BECAUSE life is the enjoyment, caring and sharing please find employment, being you, sovereign and true.
When you talk, you'll find your walk, we outsiders will find you and encourage truth, be your friend and like your sibling, love you like we are caring, and true.
I love your thoughts on this song. Thanks for sharing your experience. ❤
Thank you. Enjoyed this you two ❤
I've never met Joe Hughes but he sounds like he was an amazing guy, so sad...
Please do Freckled Angels it will help understand this most touching song.
Ren is Real!
Watch Ren - freckled Angels live to get the meaning about the friend on bridge
Dudes on another level.. he is ripping into our sounds
I felt this
❤️
❤❤❤
ren is fire
If you are on it. if you done ..ts more lonely, painful, more suffering ...why on earth you do that...every body has its own burden . But never allow yourself to put in a pit of fire forever that you will ever regret.. We are in this world and there are a lot of people who are ready to help us, they have heart to love you
. And more find yourself you are not here just to live but theres great reason of your existence..... Know The CREATOR.... He loves you so much, ad HE doesnt want you to end your life in a garbage of fire.. HE wants HIS children to be happy and enjoy paradise at the end where no pains and suffering. All is joy and love... Un ex plainable feeling... I am elling this bec. I've experience. I was about to die. But i just went somewhere above the worldso wnderful so beautiful and i told to the one who accmpained me idon want to go back never, but suddnly i came back.. So i was sad then. . So im here telling you that heaven is so real.. Never think of suicide... Never... GOD loves you so so much.. Pls find HIM . Where are you pls. Talk to me say it when you feel you are alone.. Love you
Love you! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Small goals 👍
They dont show there sign, i have 3 ppl who become sucide and they didnt show that they feel so much pain! or anny letters! And i still wounder what i could have done .
Earned a Follower today my friends
❤😢😢😢❤
So much easier.
Thumbnail is a bit much.
I mean…. Seriously.
Normal for a reaction video
Hey guys, what’s up, it’s ya Boi….
Back with another…
Smash that like button.
Bla, bla, bla
Not picking on these guys, a comment on RUclipsrs in general.
Not sure. Found that last part wincingly cringy.
WOO HOO!! NIPS!!