I live in a country where being queer is illegal and I just want to tell my fellow American queer people: we're here, we're vibin, being illegal isn't worse than death and please don't lose hope. The fear we have for our lives is there, but what we do is create small communities of friends we can trust and train our cisstraightsonas to hide at work. It's upsetting that we need to hide, but we aren't dying. All my lesbian friends have their wonderful girlfriends and our trans friends are loved and out amongst their community.
And please know that there are communities and resources that are trying to make the world a better place for you. I know the Stonewall Community works towards providing youth with proper resources, even if that's just someone to talk to. Even if it's not people in your local area, there's support out there.
I recently came out as trans to myself and started the journey for T before the election. I’ve spent a lot of time crying and being angry, and this was just….this was so nice. To hear “you deserve better than this” and to hear “it’s not your fault” and all that, it’s so genuinely comforting. You guys have made such a good space and community for people like me to just…SIT in feelings without it feeling awful. Thank you. I hope you guys are taking care of yourselves as well.
sending so much love from a fellow trans sad boyz viewer!!!!! you are so loved and sticking with your identity is really important, especially during these times, reach out if you need support!!❤️❤️❤️
transmasc to transmasc... you have to live, dude. i love you for being trans and will always love you for being trans. stay safe, take care of yourself, they cant take the beauty of transness from you. ily
Thank you everyone. Ive been trying to prioritize my partner and I's mental health over the last few days. I am usually one to stay very informed on politics and typically can keep a sound mind about it all, but I've had to remove basically all forms of politics from my social feeds because I'm nearing a breaking point. I just wanted to share how I feel to hopefully help others know they aren't alone in this either. We must endure. We must live. Take care of your people.
I got an ad immediately after "we should discuss the elephant in the room" but I wasn't watching, just listening, so then was very confused when the ad started. I'm like why are crayons a hot topic right now
As a Non binary person from Sweden, ALL MY SIBLINGS YOU ARE SO LOVED, YOU'RE SEEN and even if it feels dark now to quote Les mis: "Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.." Cry today, mobilize when you are starting to feel the anger! "RED, THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN! BLACK, THE DARK OF AGES PAST! RED, A WORLD ABOUT TO DAWN BLACK, THE NIGHT THAT ENDS AT LAST!!" ❤❤
A+ video game mental health terminology in this one: Psychic damage = Anxiety Mana = Energy/Executive Function Blocking = Protecting mental health (not opening tiktok Boss has two forms = Task is more difficult than expected
Sadboyz? More like Radboyz. I appreciate your kindness and compassion on the election results. I'm a cishet white dude that isn't in the direct firing squad and I felt guilty for being so freaked out. It's good to be reassured by other completely lost people
it's more of a testament to.ypur character than anything that you were freaked out even if youre not the person whos got the most to loose in the most obvious way dude !! i imagine youre freaking oit about not being able to imagine how to help, about what will maybe happen to more vulnerable people etc ! its normal, and its a good thing about you id say because you know its not just about you, and you Care and thats what people are gonna need the next four years. i'd say, maybe, take that grief/panic period, digest the absolute fucking mess of what happens / what it entails and then, if you can / in the way you can, try to get involved in helping / protecting those most exposed to the attacks of republicans ?
This show IS SO VALIDATING OMG. They just...put into words what my brain is trying to communicate and it's awesome. I love ya'll. ESPECIALLY the chemical imbalance depression. I remember when I first wanted to get diagnosed back in like...my freshman year of college my dad looked at me and asked, "what do you have to be depressed about". And MAN isn't that just a punch in the guy. He's gotten better about things but I don't think I'll ever truly be able to talk openly about my mental health with him even all these years later. Sometimes there's not a reason man. It just is. Gotta ride the waves.
As a queer woman in an interracial relationship in the south I am so terrified about what all of this means and really appreciate you guys addressing things
the thing about being scared for yourself was really helpful for me b/c i'm a trans guy who will almost definitely still be able to transition and live life as myself but i'm still really scared, which has made me feel a bit guilty bc there are people who will have to detransition
i still fall into the left/right thing jordan mentioned. when my mental health gets real bad i'll have to do EVERYTHING balanced between left and right. i pick things up with both hands, i hold and squeeze items in my non dominant hand to make it "feel the same" as the other hand. crazy how the human brain can do that to you.
SAME i used to have it way worse from like idk 6-12 where things had to be in multiples of 4 and done equally on the right and left (ex: if i scratched my ear it had to be 4, 8 etc times and then do it with the left the same number of times) and when im not doing well i find myself having to do things in multiples of 4 and evenly on both sides again. it’s especially bad when im trying not to be late to class but i didn’t jiggle the front door handle 4 times before leaving so i have to go unlock it and do it again.
I've started having that feeling with blinking, like I have to blink in a specific rhythm... I try to avoid it in public because I imagine I look insane blinking and twitching and stuff lmao
Thanks for what y'all said. Jordan saying "you deserve better than this" especially.... I hadn't stopped to think about that, and it really hit me. We DO deserve better, and I deserve better. It's okay to want things to be better. I appreciate so much what y'all do. Deeply, thank you.
13 minutes in and I already appreciate this so much. I feel a lot of comfort in not only the discussion of OCD, but specifically "Step on a crack break your mothers back" it goes up and down, but since elementary school I have not been able to step in cracks, or tiled floors. Going outside or sometimes the kitchen can be hell for me and take up my entire thought space. Also on the election. As a trans person with Medicaid, I am very at risk. It's heartbreaking that one day I might not be able to get the surgery I've worked so hard to get, or that I might have to stop my testosterone because I can't afford it, or it might be illegal. I'm very upset right now, but I'm glad I have a supportive family
I live in a small town in a county that voted 92% Trump. Talking to my family and most friends about the election has been eating away at my sanity so much its ridiculous. I really needed to hear someone who understands how bad our situation is
I’m in a similar situation, especially with family. You’re not alone, none of us are. I hope you find your community where you are safe and seen. My sibling always tells me that fear is just a really deep feeling of love for the things that matter to us. Best wishes, friend
thank you Jarvis and Jordan for making this podcast a safe space to the best of your ability. as a young LGBTQ+ girl i was very emotional about the election results and i appreciate you both talking about it and expressing sympathy. it really creates a good sense of community! i look forward to this podcast every week, the jokes and silliness are always such a nice distraction balanced with the relatability of the mental health discussions you have. hope you all are doing well! ❤️ (sorry this got so long loll)
I’m struggin boys, still doin my bare minimum functioning duties (gym, meditation, shower) but feel like I’m dragging myself through everything. Feeling v grateful for this safe space that ISNT talking about the election. I feel exhausted by it for now
I'm very grateful to work in a small business with others who feel the same. We are moving through the week sluggishly together, and taking lots of breaks to snack and disassociate
can i just say that the things you mention as minimum functioning duties are things you should be proud of doing, you're doing better than you feel like you are and you should feel good about doing those things if you can
I really appreciated Jordan’s words about the individual feeling like they failed, honestly made me tear up. You guys help me keep my mental health afloat by acknowledging the hard things going on but also keeping it light with jokes and levity with other more positive things. Love yall❤️
I live on the other side of the world and we are so sorry that this happened to you all, we're scared over here and I can't imagine what it feels like to be in the middle of it
was about to say "time to get a new best friend" but thank you for choosing to educate your loved ones instead of viewing them as lost causes. people are drowning in misinformation and it's not their fault; it the fault of politicians and influencers and mfs like ben shapiro who do spread bs on purpose with the intention of creating divides amongst the everyday people. protect your own peace but please don't be afraid to educate others at the same time. sending love
@@bunnyellabell my best friend is a trumper, and my other best friend voted for him last time but really gave up on him after him for being the biggest liar ever and voted for Kamala. Our other friend is an evangelist who is also a Trump supporter, but I can look past their bad politics and still be friends since the first two I mentioned I have been friends with for a decade at least and we have been with eachother through the hardest times. Meanwhile the third one is very new to our friend circle but he is both open and close minded at the same time. I'll never let a bad opinion get between me and my friends unless it's something like women don't deserve rights or blacks or she shouldn't have worn that she wanted to be r*ped.Thinking that Trump would be abetter president while doing close to no research doesn't make me hate my friend, even though I tried to sway them I understand not being into politics. I wasn't until 2016. But voting from an uneducated position is very frustrating when you can easily find out a lot of stuff with a simple google search. RIP economy.
I had an art history lecture on the sixth, and there were maybe ten people there. It was quiet and mournful and we all cried, but we talked about it. We didn’t discuss art history, we let ourselves grieve. It was needed. Thank you for bringing that same energy 💕
you all describing anxiety as dread really solidified for me that that is something i have. it’s just an amazing description for what i feel, sometimes for literally no reason at all
Jarvis, your experience with the adhd/anxiety/turbo depression combo is the most relatable out of anyone i've ever known, seen, and heard. I'm very glad that both of you are so open with your experiences with mental health. It makes me feel less alone.
Jordan talking about the Strictly Left/Right thing at the beginning is so real. I have OCD and that's been a Majour part of my obsessions since day 1. I wear contacts and I can only ever put in the left with my left hand, right with my right - when I wash my face my hands can't cross over my nose. Logically I know I'm insane but you know how it is
wait you might just be on to something, i use my right hand for both eyes but i always have problems with only my left one and it drives me crazy all day, im gonna try this tmr
@alexobrienconanIIIEsquire That’s the thing about OCD that is the most frustrating - you KNOW it’s stupid and pointless and yet you can’t stop. Training yourself to resist is an important step to recovery, but goddammit it’s so tough
@@mollymcdade4031I refer to that as the “internal logic” of OCD. I think everyone’s OCD has its own logic, or set of rules, that doesn’t make sense to the outside world, but if you have OCD you intuitively know what those rules are. I have found that working with the internal logic to find solutions is easier than trying to push against it. Or in simpler terms, irrational problems require irrational solutions.
I appreciate this show so much. Big shoutouts to the comments as well because they make me feel less insane and that there are still decent people out here.
I am a child of someone with a H1b visa. I’ve lived in the United States since I was 8 years old (I am now 23), but because of decades long green card backlogs based off of where my father was born, I am yet to have a pathway to citizenship. The first time I heard someone talking about the struggle of not being able to put down roots in the USA was Jordan during one of the episodes during the peak pandemic. It brought me a lot of comfort because someone verbalized a lot of the feelings I grew up with, but was unable to express. I echo a lot of Jordan’s sentiments- I’m in a privileged spot where it won’t change anything in my life immediately, but I’m horrified that a general anti immigrant sentiment has brought us another Trump term. I started listening to this podcast in highschool and am now post grad. Thank you boyz for always being a source of comfort in my life. Emotional perverts forever❤
I suffer from OCD and while ‘everyone’s a bit OCD’ is such a tiring and untrue statement, sometimes in non-OCD-people’s rituals you see nuggets of what could develop into the disorder under the right (or wrong) circumstances. Superstition and rituals are normal, but also you have to be careful if your brain is prone to that kind of thing - because it could lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms in the long tun
I've been too busy fighting off a second rebound panic attack to just let myself even cry... So thank you for this opening. I think I needed that reminder that it's okay I feel like shit right now. Normal, really. Thank you, again. Stay safe out there.
Hearing you talk about Dipper’s bark is interesting to me because I trained my deaf dog to bark. When I give her the command sometimes she does the motions of a bark without noise, and I don’t want to not reward that because idk if she knows she’s not making noise (she will usually go louder if I ask again). Interesting to hear about a presumably hearing dog also doing the silent and whisper barks. My girl has a very loud bark sometimes. No real volume regulation and she knows it gets her attention..
NOOO.. That's not being jaded. That's seeing all the cases of sexual assault of a minor. It's not unfounded weirdness. Every damn year people come forward against priests
jordan talking about childhood OCD is so validating! I think it's something we normalize in adulthood but seeing a kid having a meltdown because they couldn't touch the door in multiple of threes is seen has a temper tantrum and looked down upon anyways 333 happy weekend to my ocd babes xx
You can best help others when you are well yourself. So for me it makes sense to put yourself first, even if you deeply care about others. Breaking down because of a lack of self care doesn't help anyone.
For jarvis around 27-30 min mark- i have very similar negative self talk with art and creation and a good reminder is that the content there or anything you do in the future on your main channel wont like suffer from a break on it if you need that! We already get so much with gold and sad boyz and patreon (for those that have it) so dont stress
Super appreciate you guys addressing the election! Extremely validating and helpful to hear your thoughts and support. Not silly at all and definitely valuable. Thanks for doing this podcast! I love how you guys are normalizing talking about men's mental health.
JARVIS THE SHADOW THING U HAVE SPOKEN TO MY HEART. i was trying to explain it to someone the other day and they were like ....right. For me it's clenching my leg muscles when i pass a street opening/driveway. i was also diagnosed with OCD so do with that what you will lmao
Yeah, the random urge to synchronize some body movements to outside patterns, or to complete a task before some random other thing happens... I spent most of my life just kind of assuming it was my autism diagnosis, especially since I was able to remind myself not to do them. It took me finally getting an unexpected OCD diagnosis to question that more, even if maybe it's on the lighter, more borderline end of the OCD cases you can have.
I really needed this today. I struggle with a lot of the issues mentioned and its nice to see the solidarity. I've seen people describe the "energy points" as spoons ("spoon theory") I like energy points better lol.
i really needed the section about shame. i had a breakthrough in therapy this week and we realized what i'm suffering from isn't burnout. it's extreme toxic shame. i keep being told to show myself compassion but never knew how, it just felt stupid. and now i realize that other people go through the same thing. i wanted to give up and just accept that i'm just bad at what i do but this has given me a new perspective. thanks as always fellas and crew
As someone who has struggled with various mental health issues/disorders/problems whatever you want to label them. I relate soo hard to having something you want to do, right in your face, day after day and just not being able to do it.
Of all the podcasts, shows, etc I’ve been waiting for since Tuesday I’ve been waiting for this one the most. Yall have created such a safe and comforting space and express thoughts in such a great way.
I’d also like to add that theres started to be large discussions about the need for podcasts on the left with large audiences that aren’t overtly political but have a clear political lean like a Joe Rogan or Aidan Ross or a million others and I think this podcast deserves to fill a space like that Edit: I should watch the entire pod before commenting lol
Thank you both for this. It's been insanely difficult for my partner and I these last few days. None of the local elections here in SD went well, for low income folks or for women, university is so intense, and there was a reported SA on campus today to top it all off. Everything has been very scary and extremely hard to deal with.
Really appreciated every minute of this epi. 39:21 literally said this verbatim (made the little noise and everything) right before I heard Jordan do it for the first time AS I WAS TYPING THE ABOVE COMMENT... thanks for posting particularly relatable episode and I appreciate the balance maintained acknowledging the elephant and then letting it go I need the reprieve as a queer blk disabled old Gen z like bruh this country has been tweaking since I was born I don't need an ever present reminder 😅😂 just a little validation that shit is crazy and I'm not alone 💜
I like the spell slot analogy for energy capacity because it effectively covers how certain tasks take more energy. It’s like, yes I have some energy left, but I already used up my lv. 3’s for the day, so I can’t do any tasks that are at that level.
I totally relate the chemical imbalance depression sucks so bad because there’s often not a reason. And mine personally is very resistant to medication treatment.
If you haven’t already, get evaluated for adhd and/or ask about stimulants. I tried a bunch of antidepressants but the side effects were very strong even at the lowest dose. Eventually figured out I have adhd and stimulants help my mood a lottttt
@ I do have adhd as well but unfortunately my really bad anxiety disorder makes me unable to take stimulants without making it worse. I have to take a different kind of adhd medication but it only helps a bit for me. I’m trying to set up an appointment with a psychologist to get tested more and a new opinion on my meds situation. But I think your advice is good my mom has found stimulant medication quite helpful for her adhd.
Thank you guys so much for verbalizing so much of how I'm feeling. The constant ADHD shame is the absolute worst, every single time I think about what I'm avoiding It's like I'm taking poison damage in minecraft.
your 'depression dread and shame" segment was so so so nice to hear; thank you for sharing your experiences! I have never heard certain aspects of my own experience vocalized by others before (especially in a non condescending/"clinical"/authoritative way) and it was a great comfort to hear. Thanks again guys
28:48 jordan thats so real, ive had my learners for so long that its expired and ive had to reapply for it and the way that not being able to drive is so limiting, especially when like going to the gym and hangs. Its very frustrating, but we're in this together, i believe in us, we can get thru this and eventually get our licences
After so many years listening, this is the episode that has really hit me with my own experience the most. Thank you all for keeping this up over this time
I really appreciate you guys talking about the election and the fear that it is causing. This was my first time voting and it’s really demoralizing that even between two candidiates whom I thought it would’ve been clear-cut. I expected more people to understand what a danger he is. It is really hard to have any respect for this country when this is where we’re at.
43:09 "Probably a bunch of big columns... But also sliding doors" cracked me up so much I had to get a clip and send it to my friends oh my god I'm crying Jordan
This was just the episode I needed. I’ve haven’t heard such good advice or a nice sentiment in such a way about how to navigate emotions post election. Thank you boyz
I also have a sentimental leaving ritual -- I *have* to tell people I love them before I leave and give them a hug. (Including my dog.) Just... because you don't know what the future brings. I can't not, though. My heart would hurt too much.
im gonna level : i havent laughed in a good while. especially since , yknow, tuesday. thank you guys so so so much for this episode. this episode is the perfect mix of catharsis and emotion and relatability and comedy, its so refreshing! thank you guys, yall really should be the next big podcast
thank you for talking about self-preservation optimism. ik everyone has justifiably little faith in things right now but to make sure we don't fall into total despair (speaking from my own depression experience) we have to believe that a better future is possible. we have to believe that this isn't the end, that there is hope in our communities and the help we can give one another
I just wanna say I’ve been putting off my transition because of social and familial pressure and issues. And every time I try and transition in cali there is like a million obstacles in my way. And knowing that with trump those obstacles become harder really makes me feel helpless. Thank you for making me feel less alone. Love you boys❤️❤️❤️
1:30 I paused the video after Jordan talked about balancing touching things with his hands to think about how I do that walking. Unpaused and Jarvis is describing the exact thing I do with my tongue while driving
I don't know you, your life or how long you've had that kind of stuff going on but you might wanna look into OCD😭I have it and that portion of the podcast sounded eerily similar to the obsessions/compulsions I (and other people I know) have had to deal with- (I'm not trying to diagnose you or anything, if you're in the position to see one then you should *for sure* go to a professional for this!!)
Jarvis.. truly I have resonated with your experiences on the deepest levels. Even without anything actively creating stressors, the heavy weight of emotions can still be prevalent. Being completely aware of my illogical state while also feeling unable to alter my mood and "just be happy". Handling how others react to those sad days consumes much social energy. Thank you both for advocating for those who need it.
This is yet another SB ep that brings me close to tears. In several places actually, but especially the part about shame. Just wanted to reiterate that what you're doing here matters. And specifically the mixture of these really vulnerable moments with the lighter stuff is what makes it work. Thanks boyz.
One of the videos you reacted to was from Channel News Asia one of my local news outlets?? I’ve moved overseas for school so seeing CNA randomly gives me comfort. Wishing the best for everyone in the US
Being immobilized by something so technically small sure to mental/emotional energy is so relatable to me in struggles with adhd and depression- especially the frequent monetary losses just from not being about to get around to cancelling subscriptions or following up on bills. It's so so frustrating
I'm very happy you both took the time to address the election. Even if it was very simple. It's honestly been the most comforting mention I've encountered. Simple and sweet but affirming in its nature, so thank you.
Jordan spoke to this very well. Despite what Kamala said in her campaign ads about you waking up after the election wishing you had done more, you're not the one who failed her. She failed you.
really hits different listening to this while trying to start packing for a move in three days, after spending all day doing approximately nothing, knowing i need to turn on a podcast (such as sad boyz a podcast about feelings and other things also) so i can focus on something in order to get any packing done, but not being able to muster the mental energy to just... switch on the podcast and get packing done translation: i'm really grateful for jordan & jarvis always holding true to their goal of being open about things like mental health & neurodivergence. the shame about executive functioning is so real, even when i know i'm trying my hardest, and it is so valuable to feel seen & reassured that i'm not alone in this. it's very moving to think about how many people for whom sad boyz has been a source of hope & validation. very grateful for the sad boyz team 👍💖
This pod is my breathe of fresh air whenever I get the chance to listen, ik yall don’t feel like it’s doing much or is worthy of gratitude but fr, thank yall for making these channels/spaces safe, consistently
19:39 i actually started crying like forreal because i felt so seen. that is the moment i’m in, and i feel like i’ve always been in, i’m sick of executive dysfunction and i always feel like i’m just lazy and making excuses for myself so it’s so so heartening to hear i’m not alone in it, thank you guys. so much.
Jordan, the many statements you made during the election portion of this pod was really meaningful to me. particularly emphasizing to not let this tell us, “suffering is my lot in life,” thank you, and please take care of both of yourselves
27:27 I've been able to best this personally by thinking of it like we're locked in turn-based combat. They launch an attack on me by charging me every month and instead of wasting my turn I spend my MP to launch a counterattack and actually defeat the subscription. It strangely feels less daunting and more rewarding to me
As someone with OCD, Jordan casually talking about the most blatant and relatable OCD compulsions is a good reminder that I'm not alone in this world.
SAME!! as a black transmasc with the adhd+ocd combo, this podcast has genuinely been helping me get through stuff
Yeah that really hit home for me as well
wait the left right thing? because that's been my entire life and no one else has related when I've explained to them :(
Big hugs!!
i was about to say, this is hallmark OCD ritual behavior. very relatable.
Finally, the Catholic church has the power of God and Anime on their side
we better not fuck with em now 😭😭
Did they ever have god?
I live in a country where being queer is illegal and I just want to tell my fellow American queer people: we're here, we're vibin, being illegal isn't worse than death and please don't lose hope. The fear we have for our lives is there, but what we do is create small communities of friends we can trust and train our cisstraightsonas to hide at work. It's upsetting that we need to hide, but we aren't dying. All my lesbian friends have their wonderful girlfriends and our trans friends are loved and out amongst their community.
Thanks ❤ I am really glad you’re making the best of it. I hope things improve
And please know that there are communities and resources that are trying to make the world a better place for you. I know the Stonewall Community works towards providing youth with proper resources, even if that's just someone to talk to. Even if it's not people in your local area, there's support out there.
I recently came out as trans to myself and started the journey for T before the election. I’ve spent a lot of time crying and being angry, and this was just….this was so nice. To hear “you deserve better than this” and to hear “it’s not your fault” and all that, it’s so genuinely comforting. You guys have made such a good space and community for people like me to just…SIT in feelings without it feeling awful. Thank you. I hope you guys are taking care of yourselves as well.
It's a scary time, I wish i could give you a big hug
❤❤❤ it may feel like everyone hates us for being different but we have so many allies. You are loved exactly as you are.
sending so much love from a fellow trans sad boyz viewer!!!!! you are so loved and sticking with your identity is really important, especially during these times, reach out if you need support!!❤️❤️❤️
As a fellow trans person stay safe. Its a scary time and I cried a lot over the last week but just keep existing and being you. ❤
transmasc to transmasc... you have to live, dude. i love you for being trans and will always love you for being trans. stay safe, take care of yourself, they cant take the beauty of transness from you. ily
Boys, I am very, very sad.
And scared. And angry.
we're in this together
Same, for so so many reasons. I’m sorry this is happening 😞🫂
You aren't alone.
Thank you everyone. Ive been trying to prioritize my partner and I's mental health over the last few days. I am usually one to stay very informed on politics and typically can keep a sound mind about it all, but I've had to remove basically all forms of politics from my social feeds because I'm nearing a breaking point.
I just wanted to share how I feel to hopefully help others know they aren't alone in this either.
We must endure. We must live. Take care of your people.
If it helps, you are not alone in that
In defense of the pope "air of f**gotness" is very funny to me as a gay person
That would be a bomb name for a queer ran perfume company
Its up there right next to the spectre of communism
The pope says the f slur like an old gay
@@mumenRhyder thats what troye sivan should have named his perfume company
The Pope, in some ways is a lot like Azelia Banks, if you think about it /j
Been looking forward to this since Tuesday… for random reasons I don’t really know why. Hope everyone is doing well!
🫂 sending hugs, hope you’re doing well too
hope you get some dino nuggies to help you feel better
I am so disappointed and frustrated and upset by this dumbass election so i thank you all for extending the grace and understanding
I got an ad immediately after "we should discuss the elephant in the room" but I wasn't watching, just listening, so then was very confused when the ad started. I'm like why are crayons a hot topic right now
Literally same, I was so confused for a second
As a Non binary person from Sweden, ALL MY SIBLINGS YOU ARE SO LOVED, YOU'RE SEEN and even if it feels dark now to quote Les mis:
"Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.."
Cry today, mobilize when you are starting to feel the anger!
"RED, THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN! BLACK, THE DARK OF AGES PAST!
RED, A WORLD ABOUT TO DAWN
BLACK, THE NIGHT THAT ENDS AT LAST!!" ❤❤
Thank you
A+ video game mental health terminology in this one:
Psychic damage = Anxiety
Mana = Energy/Executive Function
Blocking = Protecting mental health (not opening tiktok
Boss has two forms = Task is more difficult than expected
Sadboyz? More like Radboyz. I appreciate your kindness and compassion on the election results. I'm a cishet white dude that isn't in the direct firing squad and I felt guilty for being so freaked out. It's good to be reassured by other completely lost people
No no, thank you for being freaked out. Thank you for seeing the impact this has beyond you. Those of us with more to lose appreciate your solidarity
Having empathy is a good thing! I wish more cishet white dudes gave a shit about anybody else
it's more of a testament to.ypur character than anything that you were freaked out even if youre not the person whos got the most to loose in the most obvious way dude !! i imagine youre freaking oit about not being able to imagine how to help, about what will maybe happen to more vulnerable people etc ! its normal, and its a good thing about you id say because you know its not just about you, and you Care and thats what people are gonna need the next four years. i'd say, maybe, take that grief/panic period, digest the absolute fucking mess of what happens / what it entails and then, if you can / in the way you can, try to get involved in helping / protecting those most exposed to the attacks of republicans ?
Sounds like solidarity to me
This show IS SO VALIDATING OMG. They just...put into words what my brain is trying to communicate and it's awesome. I love ya'll. ESPECIALLY the chemical imbalance depression. I remember when I first wanted to get diagnosed back in like...my freshman year of college my dad looked at me and asked, "what do you have to be depressed about". And MAN isn't that just a punch in the guy. He's gotten better about things but I don't think I'll ever truly be able to talk openly about my mental health with him even all these years later. Sometimes there's not a reason man. It just is. Gotta ride the waves.
AND THE SHOWER THING! OMG STOP CALLING ME OUT LIKE THIS.
As a queer woman in an interracial relationship in the south I am so terrified about what all of this means and really appreciate you guys addressing things
the thing about being scared for yourself was really helpful for me b/c i'm a trans guy who will almost definitely still be able to transition and live life as myself but i'm still really scared, which has made me feel a bit guilty bc there are people who will have to detransition
You don't have to feel guilty at all. Its a natural emotion brought on by your empathy, but it is genuinely scary right now. ❤
i still fall into the left/right thing jordan mentioned. when my mental health gets real bad i'll have to do EVERYTHING balanced between left and right. i pick things up with both hands, i hold and squeeze items in my non dominant hand to make it "feel the same" as the other hand. crazy how the human brain can do that to you.
SAME i used to have it way worse from like idk 6-12 where things had to be in multiples of 4 and done equally on the right and left (ex: if i scratched my ear it had to be 4, 8 etc times and then do it with the left the same number of times) and when im not doing well i find myself having to do things in multiples of 4 and evenly on both sides again. it’s especially bad when im trying not to be late to class but i didn’t jiggle the front door handle 4 times before leaving so i have to go unlock it and do it again.
Same. It’s my most persistent compulsion by far.
I've started having that feeling with blinking, like I have to blink in a specific rhythm... I try to avoid it in public because I imagine I look insane blinking and twitching and stuff lmao
@ I get some blinking stuff too (typically triggered by allergies) and I have to be careful to not look like I’m winking at people
Thanks for what y'all said. Jordan saying "you deserve better than this" especially.... I hadn't stopped to think about that, and it really hit me. We DO deserve better, and I deserve better. It's okay to want things to be better. I appreciate so much what y'all do. Deeply, thank you.
13 minutes in and I already appreciate this so much. I feel a lot of comfort in not only the discussion of OCD, but specifically "Step on a crack break your mothers back" it goes up and down, but since elementary school I have not been able to step in cracks, or tiled floors. Going outside or sometimes the kitchen can be hell for me and take up my entire thought space.
Also on the election. As a trans person with Medicaid, I am very at risk. It's heartbreaking that one day I might not be able to get the surgery I've worked so hard to get, or that I might have to stop my testosterone because I can't afford it, or it might be illegal. I'm very upset right now, but I'm glad I have a supportive family
I live in a small town in a county that voted 92% Trump. Talking to my family and most friends about the election has been eating away at my sanity so much its ridiculous. I really needed to hear someone who understands how bad our situation is
I’m in a similar situation, especially with family. You’re not alone, none of us are. I hope you find your community where you are safe and seen. My sibling always tells me that fear is just a really deep feeling of love for the things that matter to us. Best wishes, friend
YIPPEE!!!!! SAD BOYZ AND A BLUNT FRIDAY!!!!!!!
Hell yeah brother
I’m having a bowl and some mac and cheese 😎
@@abbacadaver You're eating a bowl AND mac n cheese? At least leave some for the rest of us, smh.
thank you Jarvis and Jordan for making this podcast a safe space to the best of your ability. as a young LGBTQ+ girl i was very emotional about the election results and i appreciate you both talking about it and expressing sympathy. it really creates a good sense of community! i look forward to this podcast every week, the jokes and silliness are always such a nice distraction balanced with the relatability of the mental health discussions you have. hope you all are doing well! ❤️ (sorry this got so long loll)
Really meshing with the lighting this episode. Warm and inviting, very needed in these trying times 💀
I’m struggin boys, still doin my bare minimum functioning duties (gym, meditation, shower) but feel like I’m dragging myself through everything. Feeling v grateful for this safe space that ISNT talking about the election. I feel exhausted by it for now
I'm very grateful to work in a small business with others who feel the same. We are moving through the week sluggishly together, and taking lots of breaks to snack and disassociate
can i just say that the things you mention as minimum functioning duties are things you should be proud of doing, you're doing better than you feel like you are and you should feel good about doing those things if you can
I really appreciated Jordan’s words about the individual feeling like they failed, honestly made me tear up. You guys help me keep my mental health afloat by acknowledging the hard things going on but also keeping it light with jokes and levity with other more positive things. Love yall❤️
I live on the other side of the world and we are so sorry that this happened to you all, we're scared over here and I can't imagine what it feels like to be in the middle of it
Jordan's double flannel is powerful
The fact that I have to explain to my best friend why the results are bad is insane
was about to say "time to get a new best friend" but thank you for choosing to educate your loved ones instead of viewing them as lost causes. people are drowning in misinformation and it's not their fault; it the fault of politicians and influencers and mfs like ben shapiro who do spread bs on purpose with the intention of creating divides amongst the everyday people. protect your own peace but please don't be afraid to educate others at the same time. sending love
@ that’s very kind of you to say. Trying to look at the situation as an opportunity🫶
@@bunnyellabell my best friend is a trumper, and my other best friend voted for him last time but really gave up on him after him for being the biggest liar ever and voted for Kamala. Our other friend is an evangelist who is also a Trump supporter, but I can look past their bad politics and still be friends since the first two I mentioned I have been friends with for a decade at least and we have been with eachother through the hardest times. Meanwhile the third one is very new to our friend circle but he is both open and close minded at the same time. I'll never let a bad opinion get between me and my friends unless it's something like women don't deserve rights or blacks or she shouldn't have worn that she wanted to be r*ped.Thinking that Trump would be abetter president while doing close to no research doesn't make me hate my friend, even though I tried to sway them I understand not being into politics. I wasn't until 2016. But voting from an uneducated position is very frustrating when you can easily find out a lot of stuff with a simple google search. RIP economy.
I had an art history lecture on the sixth, and there were maybe ten people there. It was quiet and mournful and we all cried, but we talked about it. We didn’t discuss art history, we let ourselves grieve. It was needed. Thank you for bringing that same energy 💕
you all describing anxiety as dread really solidified for me that that is something i have. it’s just an amazing description for what i feel, sometimes for literally no reason at all
Jarvis, your experience with the adhd/anxiety/turbo depression combo is the most relatable out of anyone i've ever known, seen, and heard. I'm very glad that both of you are so open with your experiences with mental health. It makes me feel less alone.
Jordan talking about the Strictly Left/Right thing at the beginning is so real. I have OCD and that's been a Majour part of my obsessions since day 1. I wear contacts and I can only ever put in the left with my left hand, right with my right - when I wash my face my hands can't cross over my nose. Logically I know I'm insane but you know how it is
wait you might just be on to something, i use my right hand for both eyes but i always have problems with only my left one and it drives me crazy all day, im gonna try this tmr
same what
@alexobrienconanIIIEsquire That’s the thing about OCD that is the most frustrating - you KNOW it’s stupid and pointless and yet you can’t stop. Training yourself to resist is an important step to recovery, but goddammit it’s so tough
@@mollymcdade4031I refer to that as the “internal logic” of OCD. I think everyone’s OCD has its own logic, or set of rules, that doesn’t make sense to the outside world, but if you have OCD you intuitively know what those rules are. I have found that working with the internal logic to find solutions is easier than trying to push against it. Or in simpler terms, irrational problems require irrational solutions.
I appreciate this show so much. Big shoutouts to the comments as well because they make me feel less insane and that there are still decent people out here.
I am a child of someone with a H1b visa. I’ve lived in the United States since I was 8 years old (I am now 23), but because of decades long green card backlogs based off of where my father was born, I am yet to have a pathway to citizenship. The first time I heard someone talking about the struggle of not being able to put down roots in the USA was Jordan during one of the episodes during the peak pandemic. It brought me a lot of comfort because someone verbalized a lot of the feelings I grew up with, but was unable to express. I echo a lot of Jordan’s sentiments- I’m in a privileged spot where it won’t change anything in my life immediately, but I’m horrified that a general anti immigrant sentiment has brought us another Trump term. I started listening to this podcast in highschool and am now post grad. Thank you boyz for always being a source of comfort in my life. Emotional perverts forever❤
I suffer from OCD and while ‘everyone’s a bit OCD’ is such a tiring and untrue statement, sometimes in non-OCD-people’s rituals you see nuggets of what could develop into the disorder under the right (or wrong) circumstances.
Superstition and rituals are normal, but also you have to be careful if your brain is prone to that kind of thing - because it could lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms in the long tun
i have OCPD and i can relate. jordan mentioned having OCD a long time ago on the podcast :-) he hasn’t mentioned it much though
I've been too busy fighting off a second rebound panic attack to just let myself even cry... So thank you for this opening. I think I needed that reminder that it's okay I feel like shit right now. Normal, really. Thank you, again. Stay safe out there.
Hearing you talk about Dipper’s bark is interesting to me because I trained my deaf dog to bark. When I give her the command sometimes she does the motions of a bark without noise, and I don’t want to not reward that because idk if she knows she’s not making noise (she will usually go louder if I ask again). Interesting to hear about a presumably hearing dog also doing the silent and whisper barks.
My girl has a very loud bark sometimes. No real volume regulation and she knows it gets her attention..
Maybe im just jaded, but i always feel weird seeing the Vatican doing anything children adjacent
NOOO.. That's not being jaded. That's seeing all the cases of sexual assault of a minor. It's not unfounded weirdness. Every damn year people come forward against priests
jordan talking about childhood OCD is so validating! I think it's something we normalize in adulthood but seeing a kid having a meltdown because they couldn't touch the door in multiple of threes is seen has a temper tantrum and looked down upon anyways 333 happy weekend to my ocd babes xx
You can best help others when you are well yourself. So for me it makes sense to put yourself first, even if you deeply care about others. Breaking down because of a lack of self care doesn't help anyone.
For jarvis around 27-30 min mark- i have very similar negative self talk with art and creation and a good reminder is that the content there or anything you do in the future on your main channel wont like suffer from a break on it if you need that! We already get so much with gold and sad boyz and patreon (for those that have it) so dont stress
It’s so nice to hear someone talk so calmly and plainly about OCD like compulsions. It’s such a balm to hear
Super appreciate you guys addressing the election! Extremely validating and helpful to hear your thoughts and support. Not silly at all and definitely valuable. Thanks for doing this podcast! I love how you guys are normalizing talking about men's mental health.
JARVIS THE SHADOW THING U HAVE SPOKEN TO MY HEART. i was trying to explain it to someone the other day and they were like ....right. For me it's clenching my leg muscles when i pass a street opening/driveway. i was also diagnosed with OCD so do with that what you will lmao
me but with grinding my teeth rhythmically
Yeah, the random urge to synchronize some body movements to outside patterns, or to complete a task before some random other thing happens... I spent most of my life just kind of assuming it was my autism diagnosis, especially since I was able to remind myself not to do them. It took me finally getting an unexpected OCD diagnosis to question that more, even if maybe it's on the lighter, more borderline end of the OCD cases you can have.
I really needed this today. I struggle with a lot of the issues mentioned and its nice to see the solidarity. I've seen people describe the "energy points" as spoons ("spoon theory") I like energy points better lol.
i really needed the section about shame. i had a breakthrough in therapy this week and we realized what i'm suffering from isn't burnout. it's extreme toxic shame. i keep being told to show myself compassion but never knew how, it just felt stupid. and now i realize that other people go through the same thing. i wanted to give up and just accept that i'm just bad at what i do but this has given me a new perspective. thanks as always fellas and crew
As someone who has struggled with various mental health issues/disorders/problems whatever you want to label them. I relate soo hard to having something you want to do, right in your face, day after day and just not being able to do it.
Of all the podcasts, shows, etc I’ve been waiting for since Tuesday I’ve been waiting for this one the most. Yall have created such a safe and comforting space and express thoughts in such a great way.
I’d also like to add that theres started to be large discussions about the need for podcasts on the left with large audiences that aren’t overtly political but have a clear political lean like a Joe Rogan or Aidan Ross or a million others and I think this podcast deserves to fill a space like that
Edit: I should watch the entire pod before commenting lol
You guys being a stable source of admirable male energy is gonna be so important for me in the very near future. Keep it up. Y’all are amazing.
Thank you both for this. It's been insanely difficult for my partner and I these last few days. None of the local elections here in SD went well, for low income folks or for women, university is so intense, and there was a reported SA on campus today to top it all off. Everything has been very scary and extremely hard to deal with.
Really appreciated every minute of this epi.
39:21 literally said this verbatim (made the little noise and everything) right before I heard Jordan do it for the first time AS I WAS TYPING THE ABOVE COMMENT... thanks for posting particularly relatable episode and I appreciate the balance maintained acknowledging the elephant and then letting it go I need the reprieve as a queer blk disabled old Gen z like bruh this country has been tweaking since I was born I don't need an ever present reminder 😅😂 just a little validation that shit is crazy and I'm not alone 💜
I absolutely LOVE that dipper has such a humanistic personality
I like the spell slot analogy for energy capacity because it effectively covers how certain tasks take more energy. It’s like, yes I have some energy left, but I already used up my lv. 3’s for the day, so I can’t do any tasks that are at that level.
I totally relate the chemical imbalance depression sucks so bad because there’s often not a reason. And mine personally is very resistant to medication treatment.
If you haven’t already, get evaluated for adhd and/or ask about stimulants. I tried a bunch of antidepressants but the side effects were very strong even at the lowest dose. Eventually figured out I have adhd and stimulants help my mood a lottttt
@ I do have adhd as well but unfortunately my really bad anxiety disorder makes me unable to take stimulants without making it worse. I have to take a different kind of adhd medication but it only helps a bit for me. I’m trying to set up an appointment with a psychologist to get tested more and a new opinion on my meds situation. But I think your advice is good my mom has found stimulant medication quite helpful for her adhd.
Completely unrelated to anything: I envy Javis' sweater, man... Already spotted it in the gold vid and just had to say something!
Thank you I've been procrastinating cleaning my kitchen, now I have something to listen to while I clean!
Thank you guys so much for verbalizing so much of how I'm feeling. The constant ADHD shame is the absolute worst, every single time I think about what I'm avoiding It's like I'm taking poison damage in minecraft.
your 'depression dread and shame" segment was so so so nice to hear; thank you for sharing your experiences! I have never heard certain aspects of my own experience vocalized by others before (especially in a non condescending/"clinical"/authoritative way) and it was a great comfort to hear. Thanks again guys
Maybe we were all the boyz who were sad the whole time
28:48 jordan thats so real, ive had my learners for so long that its expired and ive had to reapply for it and the way that not being able to drive is so limiting, especially when like going to the gym and hangs. Its very frustrating, but we're in this together, i believe in us, we can get thru this and eventually get our licences
Fuck yeah new Sad Boyz, Arcane coming out too! Everything gonna be alright
After so many years listening, this is the episode that has really hit me with my own experience the most. Thank you all for keeping this up over this time
I really appreciate you guys talking about the election and the fear that it is causing. This was my first time voting and it’s really demoralizing that even between two candidiates whom I thought it would’ve been clear-cut. I expected more people to understand what a danger he is. It is really hard to have any respect for this country when this is where we’re at.
43:09 "Probably a bunch of big columns... But also sliding doors" cracked me up so much I had to get a clip and send it to my friends oh my god I'm crying Jordan
Hi everyone. It's ok to be scared and grieve right now. But don't let that stop you from doing the right thing when you can.
Thank you. I really appreciate you both and this community. As a trans woman in Ohio, these are very scary times
Fellow Ohioan here. I appreciate you!
This was just the episode I needed. I’ve haven’t heard such good advice or a nice sentiment in such a way about how to navigate emotions post election. Thank you boyz
I also have a sentimental leaving ritual -- I *have* to tell people I love them before I leave and give them a hug. (Including my dog.) Just... because you don't know what the future brings. I can't not, though. My heart would hurt too much.
I always pet/hug/kiss my dog, tell her I love her, and tell her I’ll be back later before I leave
im gonna level : i havent laughed in a good while. especially since , yknow, tuesday. thank you guys so so so much for this episode. this episode is the perfect mix of catharsis and emotion and relatability and comedy, its so refreshing! thank you guys, yall really should be the next big podcast
thank you for talking about self-preservation optimism. ik everyone has justifiably little faith in things right now but to make sure we don't fall into total despair (speaking from my own depression experience) we have to believe that a better future is possible. we have to believe that this isn't the end, that there is hope in our communities and the help we can give one another
I just wanna say I’ve been putting off my transition because of social and familial pressure and issues. And every time I try and transition in cali there is like a million obstacles in my way. And knowing that with trump those obstacles become harder really makes me feel helpless. Thank you for making me feel less alone. Love you boys❤️❤️❤️
I can’t believe there was no mention of luce resembling coraline because that is all I could think of
1:30 I paused the video after Jordan talked about balancing touching things with his hands to think about how I do that walking. Unpaused and Jarvis is describing the exact thing I do with my tongue while driving
I don't know you, your life or how long you've had that kind of stuff going on but you might wanna look into OCD😭I have it and that portion of the podcast sounded eerily similar to the obsessions/compulsions I (and other people I know) have had to deal with- (I'm not trying to diagnose you or anything, if you're in the position to see one then you should *for sure* go to a professional for this!!)
i needed this moreeee than yall could ever know. thanks boys
A short, late, nice and sweet podcast with the saddest boyz known to man- A perfect way to end my night
Jarvis.. truly I have resonated with your experiences on the deepest levels. Even without anything actively creating stressors, the heavy weight of emotions can still be prevalent. Being completely aware of my illogical state while also feeling unable to alter my mood and "just be happy". Handling how others react to those sad days consumes much social energy. Thank you both for advocating for those who need it.
Thank you for acknowledging the fear we are feeling. This is a great distraction❤ love yall
Both of your kindness and empathy makes me hopeful during a time when hope is hard. Thank you ❤
This is yet another SB ep that brings me close to tears. In several places actually, but especially the part about shame. Just wanted to reiterate that what you're doing here matters. And specifically the mixture of these really vulnerable moments with the lighter stuff is what makes it work. Thanks boyz.
thank you for addressing the election, my heart aches and i’m grateful for y’all, this is a scary time
i have had a rough week (not even election related) so i needed this
One of the videos you reacted to was from Channel News Asia one of my local news outlets?? I’ve moved overseas for school so seeing CNA randomly gives me comfort. Wishing the best for everyone in the US
Being immobilized by something so technically small sure to mental/emotional energy is so relatable to me in struggles with adhd and depression- especially the frequent monetary losses just from not being about to get around to cancelling subscriptions or following up on bills. It's so so frustrating
New sad boyz, happy Friday!!!
I'm very happy you both took the time to address the election. Even if it was very simple. It's honestly been the most comforting mention I've encountered. Simple and sweet but affirming in its nature, so thank you.
the luce segment made me laugh so much, this episode was really good and comforting thank you
not the first few minutes being them describing to eachother symptoms of ocd
Jordan spoke to this very well. Despite what Kamala said in her campaign ads about you waking up after the election wishing you had done more, you're not the one who failed her. She failed you.
I love listening to Jordan and Jarvis talk about feelings. Very demure, very mindful.
I was not EVER expecting italian lucio in a sad boyz podcast, I actually died
really hits different listening to this while trying to start packing for a move in three days, after spending all day doing approximately nothing, knowing i need to turn on a podcast (such as sad boyz a podcast about feelings and other things also) so i can focus on something in order to get any packing done, but not being able to muster the mental energy to just... switch on the podcast and get packing done
translation: i'm really grateful for jordan & jarvis always holding true to their goal of being open about things like mental health & neurodivergence. the shame about executive functioning is so real, even when i know i'm trying my hardest, and it is so valuable to feel seen & reassured that i'm not alone in this. it's very moving to think about how many people for whom sad boyz has been a source of hope & validation. very grateful for the sad boyz team 👍💖
This pod is my breathe of fresh air whenever I get the chance to listen, ik yall don’t feel like it’s doing much or is worthy of gratitude but fr, thank yall for making these channels/spaces safe, consistently
Thank you for even just posting resources. I have been looking into that but haven’t seen any creators even offer simple ways to help like that.
19:39 i actually started crying like forreal because i felt so seen. that is the moment i’m in, and i feel like i’ve always been in, i’m sick of executive dysfunction and i always feel like i’m just lazy and making excuses for myself so it’s so so heartening to hear i’m not alone in it, thank you guys. so much.
I'm glad we got a Sad Boyz this week, as a trans man it's been a terrifying couple of days.
Jordan, the many statements you made during the election portion of this pod was really meaningful to me. particularly emphasizing to not let this tell us, “suffering is my lot in life,” thank you, and please take care of both of yourselves
Love you guys! Huge Loot fan! Thanks for shouting out Loot!
you should have Damien Haas on the podcast he is the best sad boi
I love hearing other people talk about executive dysfunction cus it doesn't seem really to me yet while describing me well
27:27 I've been able to best this personally by thinking of it like we're locked in turn-based combat. They launch an attack on me by charging me every month and instead of wasting my turn I spend my MP to launch a counterattack and actually defeat the subscription. It strangely feels less daunting and more rewarding to me
Big love to you guys. This podcast is a comfort pick for me. Wishing you the best things 💜