Navigating the Struggles & Generational Trauma | chit chat + SIMPLE tips towards healing

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  • Опубликовано: 6 фев 2025
  • Hey :) This video is a simplified gateway into some of the things you face as an African daughter & how to deal with what you face. I hope this video helps and open the door to convos like this!
    Connect with me:
    email💌 : stacythiru@insanityhq.com
    instagram - @stacythiru
    tik tok - @stacythiru
    twitter - @stacytthiru
    snapchat - stacywt
    i love you guys mwahhh gimme kiss

Комментарии • 142

  • @luhenmel
    @luhenmel 2 года назад +68

    As a first african daughter! I am genuinely tired. The generational trauma we inherit. A first born daughter is automatically a second parent. I've been parenting since I have no idea. I walked so my siblings could run! I honestly don't think I had a childhood it's so sad.

    • @fredaowusu-agyapong
      @fredaowusu-agyapong 2 года назад +2

      I had the same responsibility but lucky I had the advantage to move out so I now have to be responsible for myself. That's also a lot but at least I have some kind of freedom.i think I was always responsible for myself even with my parents , like I had to do a lot for myself.

    • @sweetmattarella3282
      @sweetmattarella3282 Год назад +1

      Gurll I understand you😂🫶🥰

  • @kaylajay951
    @kaylajay951 2 года назад +146

    I wish more people would talk about this 🥺

  • @preciousalawiye2244
    @preciousalawiye2244 2 года назад +88

    This video was very much like a breath of fresh air😩I just love to see when people address generational issues!! The more we speak about these taboo things, the more we'll get closer and closer to ending these generational curses💪💪
    Thanks Stacy for being part of the solution💕

  • @Josephine-Irene
    @Josephine-Irene 2 года назад +53

    POV: you cried when she mentioned none asked her to be a mum to her younger siblings she just did it for them.
    this video is so emotional for me being the younger sibling and witnessing my older sister be that extra parent. Thank you for sharing. BRB I'm crying rn

  • @tianamack6582
    @tianamack6582 2 года назад +45

    I’m a black American but I am also the first daughter,. Grandkid and all that. You spoke nothing but facts and I feel you fr.

  • @ashleymuthoni-z5n
    @ashleymuthoni-z5n 2 года назад +66

    i love you Stace. i'm also the firstborn daughter, granddaughter and niece with three siblings after me. it's nice knowing i am not alone. blessed be❤️. this really helped me

  • @Cynm521
    @Cynm521 2 года назад +22

    That part on men barely doing anything!!!! I felt that one in my chest 🥲

  • @sindiswa.dlamini
    @sindiswa.dlamini 2 года назад +20

    Totally agree with what you said on how we're positioned to put up a front of being strong and independent. As African Daughters there's so much we go through alone. And I'm sure the boys also face their own struggles but yeah

  • @DaBrattMia
    @DaBrattMia 2 года назад +3

    being the extra parent to ur younger sibling is very relatable

  • @tallammy
    @tallammy 2 года назад +12

    This video is the real definition of "a breath of fresh air" thanks Stacy

  • @misslotuswisdom8545
    @misslotuswisdom8545 2 года назад +2

    excellent video. I am from South America and grew up in the U.S. I am the first daughter and my mom is mental health patient. What you said definetly resonates with me too. Generational trauma is very real in so many cultures. I very much appreciate this video. Excellent work.

  • @nicolendinda111
    @nicolendinda111 2 года назад +4

    This is what I needed because most people don't understand this.

  • @CindyMutuku
    @CindyMutuku 2 года назад +8

    The way I got here so fast- I’ve been waiting on this one sis!!!

  • @brisworld1525
    @brisworld1525 2 года назад +15

    Even though I am not an African daughter, I clicked on this video because it interested me. This is...a lot to take on. You have so much responsibility as an older sibling that it seems like you don't have enough time for yourself. That is suffocating! It is a shame that y'all go through that, but a man should know how to cook, clean, help with the kids, and take over when the mom is absent. It shouldn't be all on the woman. That's stressful 😅 hope yall are having a great day...same with you Stacy.

    • @britneyt9253
      @britneyt9253 Год назад

      Hi, just curious, what’s u background?

  • @PrettyKynd
    @PrettyKynd 2 года назад +5

    This is actually an interesting watch. I’ve wondered about this topic since grade school. I grew with African friends and always thought their jokes about growing up at home were always a lil like “wtf did you just say??”

  • @tiisetsonyikolebese
    @tiisetsonyikolebese 2 года назад +5

    4:30 As the eldest, African daughter from South Africa, I'm grateful that both my parents especially my dad would teach me on those topics than my mom.

  • @naturallynadia3043
    @naturallynadia3043 2 года назад +1

    related to this sooo much omg, it’s definitely a struggle being the first african daughter but i wouldn’t trade it for the world bc it’s rlly shaped who i am. thank you for speaking on this Stacy🫶🏾

  • @angelw1nks
    @angelw1nks 2 года назад +4

    omg i record myself on my mac too! and rewatch the videos a month or two later, and the mental growth is honestly noticeable, made me emotional once. being the very first child, grandchild ,etc. WHILE being a girl is tough, honestly it is

  • @otakumultifandom
    @otakumultifandom 2 года назад +2

    Let me get my soju and comfy. As a latinx/ caribbean background and African roots, I'm going to dive into this conversation to see where needs healing and listening.

    • @otakumultifandom
      @otakumultifandom 2 года назад

      Being a big sister to my younger cousins is like really loving them and yes remembering how I wished I had someone I could go to for whatever lol so yeah. I think it goes to show that we are capable of truly loving someone 💗🤍

  • @Nthabi_JoyM
    @Nthabi_JoyM 2 года назад +2

    You are something special Stacy ❤❤ showing love from South Africa, KwaZulu - Natal

  • @lillydior
    @lillydior 2 года назад +9

    being the first and only daughter of my Jamaican parents this resonates asf!! I have also noticed this outside of my intermediate family. thank you for bringing this discussion into light. you always hit the the nail right on the head! you've really opened my eyes to things and at the same time has confirmed a lot of things I've thought about already! love you always Stacy 💘 keep 'em coming!

  • @Lex-bl4lz
    @Lex-bl4lz 2 года назад +5

    love this conversation! also we need a makeup tutorial because omg😍

  • @MissMartiinaa
    @MissMartiinaa 2 года назад +7

    You hit every point perfectly, I can totally relate as a 1st girl, wow this was the video I didn't know I needed. Thanks for sharing your experience x

  • @lesediseeketso3888
    @lesediseeketso3888 2 года назад +12

    I really love this !!!! Please everything was 100% right 😭. WE NEED A PART 2🥺

  • @melissagitts
    @melissagitts 2 года назад +6

    Wauu!!
    you narrowed down every point to detail, it felt good hearing this from you💕
    Wah!
    I love you for choosing to be bold enough and doing this video❤️

  • @queennyasha9068
    @queennyasha9068 2 года назад +3

    Bruh its hard out here, been thinking about this a lot and the strength it takes being the first born daughter, first grand daughter etc from an African household. I really don't think people understand the pressure💔

  • @phasesofmorah
    @phasesofmorah 2 года назад +12

    There's also a fear of not making the same mistakes my parents made. I know where my trauma comes from but what if I unconsciously start making the same mistakes they made. Ahh that will reck me for sure

  • @khanitat
    @khanitat 2 года назад +12

    it’s not easy being an african daughter. it’s like they glorify women suffering. if you’re suffering it means you’re working hard 😂😂😂😂

  • @xo_xoria713
    @xo_xoria713 2 года назад

    also...omfg i just realised i know you...bruh you done glowed up i really thought you was someone new. good for you gurl💖💖💖

  • @LoveMayiza
    @LoveMayiza 2 года назад +12

    I can definitely relate to this being the first daughter, more people need to talk about this 😭

  • @uwamahor00
    @uwamahor00 2 года назад +2

    AHHHHH This is the chit chat my souuuulll needed, thank you Dada Stacyyy🥰

  • @EveMarie98
    @EveMarie98 2 года назад +1

    I love this! These topics need to be spoken about more often!

  • @GraceMR
    @GraceMR 2 года назад +2

    This video is literally ON POINT I’m also an only daughter(with 3 brothers) , first grandchild and niece and I can confirm that this is true

  • @katli.h
    @katli.h 2 года назад +3

    I think it varies from woman to woman. My mom never got these talks and had so many issues from that. So with my sister and I, and also my brothers she really really has these talks w us

  • @khadijahcham4927
    @khadijahcham4927 2 года назад +6

    I’m not technically the first daughter of African parents but I am one of the older daughters of my African parents household born and raised in the U.S me and my older sister which were only 11 months apart were the first daughters born here(The oldest daughter was born and raised in parents native country.)And so naturally me and my older sister born here were raised together and so I shared the same responsibilities as she did. Which let’s say is tough. We were practically twins but thank god I had her. And so sometimes it’s the oldest daughter(S) who share the burden. But yeah another convo that’s needs to be had

  • @claireolive2746
    @claireolive2746 2 года назад +1

    Girllll you said it all!! Although I'm not the first daughter, this helps me to understand my older sister .

  • @Its_kkryss
    @Its_kkryss 2 года назад +6

    I’m the last born and 2nd daughter but this is soooooo relatable. I’m so lucky to have an older sister but it’s crazy how I’ve had to grow up faster than my brothers because I’m a woman

  • @eunoiaverse1
    @eunoiaverse1 2 года назад +4

    I am a first born girl in a Kenysn family. I got my period and my mom just gave me a pad and showed me how to wear it and that was that. Never heard about period talk or birds and bees

  • @fancynancy101
    @fancynancy101 2 года назад +9

    I love you so much thank you for talking about this. I'm the first daughter and only girl in the house. I really appreciate your tips too it's always nice to be reminded of what I can and should do for myself. You look so beautiful as always!! Sending you love Stacy❤

  • @estherwanjiku4195
    @estherwanjiku4195 2 года назад +15

    my dad actually wonders why my sister gets sickly monthly...he doesn't know how intense periods can be

  • @wanjirumuiru4661
    @wanjirumuiru4661 2 года назад

    i love the fact that you brought this up ....and i love your make up😍😍

  • @simphiwemazibuko
    @simphiwemazibuko 2 года назад

    The marriage topic is SPOT ON! 😩

  • @MananaMoeng27
    @MananaMoeng27 2 года назад +7

    Everything you said was so true ,especially the siblings one we are deputy parents.

  • @kemmyonsaree7611
    @kemmyonsaree7611 2 года назад

    Halfway through the video... I had to pause and say ...i felt this video in my hearrrrrt.(while sobbing profusely😭)!!!!!!

  • @natalieomondi3988
    @natalieomondi3988 2 года назад

    This video has helped me so much because I'm also the first daughter, niece and grand daughter. It's tough but you learn along the way in being strong. Thank you so much for this video ❤️

  • @ruele.
    @ruele. 2 года назад +1

    Oh my word I'm shocked by how ALL THIS IS NOTHING BUT FAAAACCCCTTTTSSSS!! 😭 Man, I always thought about and noticed this but never ever spoke about it. But I relate to everything you said.

  • @laviniashiponeni1
    @laviniashiponeni1 2 года назад

    Obongjayar- I wish it was me.
    Perfect song for this conversation

  • @maureenitah
    @maureenitah 2 года назад

    Aw Stace I love this video so much 🥺🥺❤️

  • @JimiSunsets
    @JimiSunsets 2 года назад +1

    STACYYYYYYY gurl this video hits and hits different now I’m a big woman

  • @jessjess7727
    @jessjess7727 2 года назад +2

    i’m the only child and the first born daughter so i feel so seen thank you

  • @afrigurl4710
    @afrigurl4710 2 года назад

    Love this!!!! We need more of this on here!

  • @olubunmichidinmaakinlade1960
    @olubunmichidinmaakinlade1960 2 года назад

    10:24 made me tear up😭 this was spot on

  • @trishrutendoganda8714
    @trishrutendoganda8714 2 года назад

    I love this type of content💕
    Please do a video about your Uni experience and how you managed to graduate (congratulations btw)

  • @DaBrattMia
    @DaBrattMia 2 года назад

    this video rlly hit home almost make me cry 😭

  • @xo_xoria713
    @xo_xoria713 2 года назад +1

    that wewewewewe has me floored man😂😂

  • @adeo506
    @adeo506 2 года назад

    This video!!!! Holding back tears

  • @ruaroto6412
    @ruaroto6412 2 года назад

    wonderful you are, don't disappoint the woman from Africa, today we need women like you. Brave unique

  • @mapofhersoul8007
    @mapofhersoul8007 2 года назад +2

    oh this hit my soul hard........

  • @bgrace3
    @bgrace3 2 года назад +2

    thanks stacy, i really needed this ❤️

  • @ayonnalatrice6451
    @ayonnalatrice6451 2 года назад

    I lovedddd this!! There was so much I could relate to and I could tell by your vibe you’re soo genuine ❤️

  • @miriamosei5867
    @miriamosei5867 2 года назад

    WE LOVE YOU GIRL THANK YOUUUU 😭🙏🏾🙏🏾🤍🤍

  • @acidtrippeddoll
    @acidtrippeddoll 2 года назад

    10:25 literally felt this

  • @SimiJacky
    @SimiJacky 2 года назад

    The make up oh my my❤️love it

  • @ele.o_ele.o
    @ele.o_ele.o 2 года назад +1

    The way every single cell in my body can relateeeeee, ohh

  • @Africana.queen23
    @Africana.queen23 2 года назад

    I really enjoyed this Stacy

  • @ShabarbsShares
    @ShabarbsShares 2 года назад

    I’m the first daughter, niece and granddaughter to both sides of my familyyyyyy sissss the presssaaaaa

  • @nadiadukunde4970
    @nadiadukunde4970 2 года назад

    Pls THE WAY I WAS SCREAMING AT MY PHONE WITH YOU!😭🗣

  • @missharajbl
    @missharajbl 2 года назад +1

    I love this wig for you Stacy!!!!!

  • @jen-_-353
    @jen-_-353 2 года назад +3

    I’m also the first daughter but I feel like I got it a lil easier because I only have a brother and we’re like 2 years apart in age and I have older cousins that I’m able to get advice from on topics such as college and other young adult topics. But boy it’s exhausting to explain things to my parents that come from a different culture and generation from.

  • @authenticallyMoi
    @authenticallyMoi 2 года назад +3

    You really hit the spot

  • @PAYSHLYNN
    @PAYSHLYNN 2 года назад

    Story of my life 😩 God bless you sis I understand your pain

  • @mayajohnson2677
    @mayajohnson2677 2 года назад

    I feel like we feel this way because…we know how to survive in America with Americans but our African parents don’t really know how it works here meaning…it’s really hard for me to explain it. But basically I’m saying we are born and raised here so we know how to take care and deal with this society and the people. So we want to protect our younger sibling because we know our African parents can’t and don’t have that knowledge and African parents don’t see that part because they were raised in a much better and loving lifestyle/people/community/society. But the girls that get it get it lol I could explain it much better in person. 💕

  • @achimwene31mwali17
    @achimwene31mwali17 2 года назад +1

    Had to pause the video, so that I could go on Twitter and hit follow

  • @stephaniengururi
    @stephaniengururi 2 года назад

    perfect timing woiiii asante

  • @zabev4068
    @zabev4068 2 года назад

    Before I watched this I was soo drained because the way I literally sacrifice myself for everyone and later still be seen as enough is just mentally draining like I just want to give up like I am tired

  • @aishasuleiman606
    @aishasuleiman606 2 года назад

    Stacy was spitting facts fr❤️❤️❤️

  • @salamatadiallo2580
    @salamatadiallo2580 2 года назад +1

    God bless us first born daughters

  • @leavemeal0ne378
    @leavemeal0ne378 2 года назад +1

    Found your account love it.

  • @stasiamichelle99
    @stasiamichelle99 2 года назад

    Thank you for saying this!

  • @ashleynganga
    @ashleynganga 2 года назад +2

    Loved this Stacy

  • @maureenitah
    @maureenitah 2 года назад

    the “damn sis” affirmations 😂❤

  • @josephlopez7408
    @josephlopez7408 2 года назад +2

    BROOO I WAS JUST HAVING THIS CONVERSTAION TODAY

  • @tamalarayola
    @tamalarayola 2 года назад

    i love Stacy smmmmm

  • @didintlem5150
    @didintlem5150 2 года назад

    I could go on and on about the trauma but the pressure is getting worserrrrrr !!!

  • @Joannaoke
    @Joannaoke 2 года назад +4

    sidenote, you look amazing 😍

  • @shekuwow
    @shekuwow 2 года назад +2

    Loved this video!

  • @user-kd3jp8wp4v
    @user-kd3jp8wp4v 2 года назад

    Love this. Felt fr

  • @gvxoitcxxx4
    @gvxoitcxxx4 2 года назад +1

    Thank youuu👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

  • @blueman5135
    @blueman5135 2 года назад +1

    Nice tell them the truth Stacy.

  • @Michira
    @Michira 2 года назад

    We all out here just winging ittt

  • @joyjackline8762
    @joyjackline8762 2 года назад

    This girl❤️

  • @ChideraAbel
    @ChideraAbel 2 года назад

    I relate to this on a different level😭

  • @Jujuxxc_
    @Jujuxxc_ 2 года назад

    This video was needed !

  • @mwimbanjikho1945
    @mwimbanjikho1945 2 года назад

    Issss been a minute 🤭can't wait to watch

  • @TyasaCares
    @TyasaCares 2 года назад

    omg where are these jammies from?

  • @gracie2670
    @gracie2670 2 года назад

    What makes me laugh is that as I am relating to this video, I am cooking, folding clothes, cutting fruits and mboga (spinach for the non Kenyans), and cleaning

  • @akesseh2534
    @akesseh2534 2 года назад

    FACTSSSSS

  • @sueiam4350
    @sueiam4350 2 года назад

    Aaah wow finally😫😫someone said it!❤️😭

  • @jannecialindo5398
    @jannecialindo5398 2 года назад

    I’m not African but I def relate to majority of these

  • @ntandakebirungi
    @ntandakebirungi 2 года назад

    Make moreee