Loneliness can lead you to depression and break you to a point that you can't recover. I found people who think loneliness develop strength are the one who haven't dealt with severe loneliness and depression, I'm not talking about being couple of weeks or a month away from partner and family, i'm talking about struggling with loneliness for years and years. not having physical contact with someone else ... Saying loneliness can make a person stronger is like starving someone and expecting that person become bodybuilder in result of that. I think some people mix up being alone and being lonely ...
Enjoyed this talk. Ha, I can’t stand the silence, totally me. While battling depression and recent heartbreak, I’m doing my very best to NOT isolate myself. Presentations like this help to remind me to stay on a healthier path, thank you. Mostly because it shows me that I’m not the only one in this. Well done.
As he said a 1/4 of the population has no one to confide in. You are not alone and being by ourselves is not strange but a societal problem. Everyone in my family has died except me so Christmas is tough when I'm single. I also have suffered with depression and anxiety and heartbreak. It does change but also can come back again. All depends on who is in our lives. I'm here in the uk and care about you and wish you an Amazing 2020. Agape Love I'm sending you xxxx
there's also a massive difference between being an introvert and preferring one's own company. i am not at all an introvert - i experience no shyness or reluctance around others and make new friends and acquaintances, etc. very easily. however, there are very few people i find interesting enough to want to spend more than a few hours with. i cannot decompress without enough "alone time" and, in general, i think those who need to surround themselves with people all the time are those who are terribly uncomfortable with themselves as discussed in the video as well. i will never be able to understand such people ... although i have many friends who are like this.
A certain amount of loneliness develops strength of character and artistic sense. It allows individuals to break free from the matrix we live in, and to become awakened and self-aware.
No way! It's as if you said: wars and killing are not so bad, because we can make amazing movies on them, with great heroes and great drama, and everyone likes such stories, so moving! Well, tragedy is tragedy. You are lucky if you had only very minor dose of it, and managed it well, but that is no reason to promote it. You can only promote ways to get out of it.
However, it is true that it's good to be alone from time to time. But being alone and feeling lonely are different things. One can be painfully lonely in the midst of 1000 people. We all need time truly on our own, for sure, to make sure we are well connected with our own self, our own feelings, our own dreams, our own deepest values. It makes no sense to connect with others if we are not connected with our own self. We would all drift into non sense, driven my the marketing of companies who invest billions every year to dictate what we need, what we shoudl think, and of course, what we should buy --or buy in.
Lonelyness strengthens the psychological immune system. I don't mind feeling lonely. It's a fleeting thing, just like happyness. It took me a long time to distinguish between being alone and feeling lonely. In the beginning i felt lonely all the time, now i am mostly just alone with brief episodes of lonelyness. It is no longer a debilitating emotion. I can almost enjoy giving myself a few minutes to sob to myself, objectively look at that void and then do things that make me feel better. Because that is the function of emotions. Notice problem--> fix it. If you would encounter someone who is perpetually happy, you know there is something fundamentally wrong with them too. I'm not sure anyone can keep up any one emotion without utterly imploding in on themselves. Maybe a buddhist monk after 20 years of training. That's why it's so hard. Balance is health. I need all emotions to flow through me, anger, fear, happyness, bliss, lonelyness, connectiveness. It's like coughing up something that's stuck in your throat. If you don't, you might choke on it. The flowing through is kind of the key thing here.
I don't think anyone would choose loneliness if he/she had choice, in my opinion, getting along with our loneliness is the last resort to handle our emotions .... Truth is, what we can do, there are many things we can't change in our life... there are people out there so popular, they find it hard to find alone time, and there are some others who are forgotten and never be missed...
I hoped this would help.. but it didn't at all. Yes, there are people out there.. so many people.. but they are not connected to me.. so it's like looking at others and feeling alone.. it doesn't help that they 'are there.' It just reinforces the lonliness.
Thanks for your comments and questions. Three years later, I've revisited this. I'm pleased to say that I'm changing 😊 and learning to love myself. Still alone, but so much less lonely 😁❤ Take care lovely people xxx
Well, loneliness in doses is good for reflecting profoundly on meaning, destiny and consolidating ones experiences. It is an opportunity for building autonomy and defining yourself as an individual, to behold nature in its purest form, to contemplate the world apart from humans and their symbols. But it is also demonstrated to be dangerous to those who are not equipped or prepared to cope with prolonged isolation. Statistics show that it is associated with increased risk of heart disease, HIV progression, cognition impairment and abnormal sleeping patterns & ultimately premature death in certain cases. People need eachother.
You mixed up being alone and feeling lonely. Please watch the talk again, and/or study social connection sciences for 2 minutes, before promoting unhealthiness!
Loneliness is the thing that drives us to find others, to be social and sometimes to make babies. This answers my question why such an unpleasant feeling could be so successful!
In 2008, I received a 6-month severance pay, and decided to travel 25 countries. But the loneliness of living out of suitcase was too much, and I quit after 4.5 months. The loneliness was so profound that I decided that I need to find a marriage partner. I also decided to make my marriage fun and supportive for my wife. By supportive, I mean I want to be there when she feels alone. (Unfortunately, my wife has other ideas about marriage, and we went separate ways.)
It is often not loneliness itself that is hard to bear but the constant pressure and impression by society that those who are alone in life have somehow failed at life. If we don't or cannot make adequate connections with others or move our life in expected directions like being part of a happy family or being surrounded by loving friends we are seen as going against societal norms. Some people choose to be lonely, others have loneliness put upon them because of circumstance, the thing is, most people do adapt and find some level at which they are content with themselves and if left to just 'be' would find their happiness. Constantly being told or reminded that 'Loneliness kills', is not normal, and that we should all be making a better effort to 'reconnect' is not helpful, it's misguided and shows lack of empathy and understanding. It's ok to be lonely the same as it is ok to be hurt or feel unhappy or be disappointed. You are not hurting yourself or society by feeling lonely, it's ok to live with it, it doesn't mean you failed at your life.
Loneliness, like any emotion, is our habitual reaction to thoughts. And, like any habit, we can change our thoughts and our reactions. Hence, can practice feeling oneness no matter what the situation or our thoughts we can CHOOSE our reaction and hence our experience. Completed philosophies are not necessary when one has practice the skill of feeling oneness, happiness, joy or love.
I AGREE. I hate when you try to make a new game or sport and everyone thinks your weird. Then, those same group of people suggest doing the traditional social activities. Man, those activities are BORING.
I don't fear being alone and isolated. I fear my circumstance leading to my daughter not knowing or no longer experiencing the awesome love I hold for her. That I experience that love alone, eats holes in my soul.
Merik, I agree. Today, i was trying to find a reason why I dont engage in socializing more often. And I answer, if it's not about something I can relate too, I feel like I'm flapping my gums and nonsense is coming out. You said it, superficiality of social chatter
I like my own company i find that when i have so call friends in my life and family members. It makes my life unhappy. Decluttering my phone contacts. My home address i have changed also my house phone is the best thing. I suffer fibromyalgia and i have a injury with my lower back. Chronic pain 24/ 7 i just cannot deal.with anyone say the wrong word to me. I am sorry i dont need too much questions and prying in my life. I did not choose to be sick and it takes great strength for me to cope each day. I dont socialise at all. Just my small circle of family its enough for me and i feel so blessed. No one should be lonely and my heart goes out to anyone who is experiencing this. Society causes this because it can make you feel if you dont have a bought house or have a car your not doing big things this is. Terrible actions of people i went out years ago. And sat near to a group of people and the bragging city was in that circle. I am not jealous of anyone but we all need to know that in this life we my have all these letters infront of our names and feel better than the homeless.people on the street we all.are going six feet into the ground we are not carrying no worldly possessions its just our bodies in that caskit so just live a good life be kind be thoughtful have comppassion and serve god. Becsuse only god has the final say.
Modernity has blessed/cursed us with a heightened sense of awkwardness. It's hard to assert this with absolute certainty, seeing as we only ever catch glimpses of the bygone everyday and what social-routines were like for the average person a century ago (and beyond). At any rate, based on my samplings of yore eras, what constitutes awkwardness nowadays would have been unfathomable just a century ago across most cultures. This never seems to get a mention in these talks and loosely related ones that touch on isolation, even though it's arguably the driving force behind why so many are prone to isolate in the modern world. Particularly the more analytically inclined. Perhaps the pivotal role awkwardness plays is discussed in books that target loneliness, but I doubt it. It would've made its way to some of the talks or promotional interviews by the books' authors. Anyone know of a talk that delves into inflated vs. deflated standards for awkwardness?
+1 as there is literally nothing to take away from Brendan Myers "Talk"... It's weak in the extreme/beyond obvious. He seems like a very nice and smart guy but for anyone that has studied archeology, anthropology or ethnography or even history will be shaking their head in disbelief this was ever a "Talk"? What have "We" become?
@sam, you got a great point. In the last 3 years, I have spent so much time at work, and I have just being very engaged with my work; I simply lost track of time. I rarely get lonely, only a few hours a month. I don't go out with friends much like I used to, yet I feel very happy. (Maybe, Brendan Myers is right that when we have a lot of times to be alone and we don't like what we see in ourselves, that causes a lot of loneliness. I know that was the case for me, because I have friends who were not supportive and made me feel sad about my life. Well I am glad I don't hang out with them anymore.)
There are studies that show lonliness can lead to death thru heart attack. It's about balance between solitude and company and I'm now out of balance since 2 close friends died, family moved away and my partner who worked away but was home week ends dropped dead suddenly. Out and about I can smile at people exchange a few words with them but it doesn't ease the lonliness
Happiness is overrated we need problems in life otherwise what would we work on ? All alone people stay strong stay true! You are going to successfull and make more money than anybody else.
Have courage to be alone. If you study self compassion you will know that you are the one that cares about you the most. You must put yourself first and that's ok. Learn to do things you really enjoy and go from there. Do something
loneliness and aloneness is a bitch when you're looking to travel, and all the travel prices you find quote "per person, twin share"...or even "save up to $x,xxx per couple" as was in the TV ad I just saw
My main take away from this amongst other things is, loneliness helps us build great things to alert people of our presence but we need these loneliness in order to achieve this brilliance and it in turn will allow people to not feel so lonely with their lives knowing that we are out there somewhere from the marks that we leave behind be or something as great as the Eiffel Tower or something obscure like a sandcastle
It is amazing to me That there are so many people on the planet and that there are so many people with Internet connections and we can connect with those some of those people but it’s not the same as having a person with you love or a good friend or a parent ...it’s just not the same... when you feel really comfortable with someone and you don’t have to talk that much that is when loneliness becomes less of an ordeal. Being alone is not bad but being with people that care about you is so much better.
It becomes tempting to wonder about how tribalcommunities like in Africa and Southamerica can have so low amounts of problems when it comes to loniless and depression.
Dear sir we worship a Creator who has no blemishes or weaknesses such as us humans experience which is loneliness. We believe in a Creator who is Far above the created things in all forms n is Perfect n Pure n cannot have the weaknesses of humanity or creation with its limits. Thanks
I just like to share feelings and moments. To cook for someone and to watch a movie with someone. To hold someone in your arms. But in loneliness there is freedom, creativity and loneliness is usvally the fate of a great thinker. I teach Music and Philosophy. You are never alone... the right term is that there is a distance between you and what you consider company. But you are not alone. The purpose of every being is itself... not from an egoistic point of view. We are ideas, in the mind of The Being. We do not exist due to our will. So we need a meaning, a purpose. Love and affection, family or a partner, usvally give meaning..
We are programmed and conditioned beings. At school they teach us how to become " someone" by adding titels, positions,money. Yes the amount of money tells people how good and succesful you are. We are already someone, we would be better of if they would teach us at school things that we really can work with. Throw in some non-duality teachings, learn someone how to be not afraid to be on theirself and learn them that they must look at who they really are, not the personality , the one with the body,name and ego. I wish i learned that earlier in my life. Teach the Law of Attraction, show people how things work,that they can crate their own reality. And another thing that would be great is The Work from Byron Kstie. In one point of this speech i heard " people considering the fact that their lifes are not meaningful" Well i guess somewhere inside we have a natural urge to feel that to be satisfied. But ask yourself, is it really true that your life should be meaningful and why? Just live, just be. It is really an art to live that way, and honestly i,m still although i,m in my fifties learning this. After being dependant and co- dependant all my life i was forced to live on my own without nobody, no husband, parents, or friends or pets. I lost it, drowned in anxiety, and sometimes i still do.But try to look after the so called reality, maybe it,s an illusion, indeed a matrix, a holodeck where you can see the outside world as a projection of believes and thoughts you hold in your mind. There is so much to investigwte, to read, to learn, and if you search a deeper understanding of life therefor you have to be alone without distraction.
Being alone gives you freedom, freedom not to have people tell you "Oh! Don't do that." or "This is not good for you." or, or ,or. and it goes on. I live alone and my life is wonderful. I don't have any negative people around me, no friends, no family, just me. Life is great!
Great speech however it got me choking on the part where he describes of what he thinks is some version of GOD. One should just leave GOD to what GOD is.. just and only for themselves. “Describing his GOD as being lonely... such a humanitarian thought. That of GOD and the of being alone while in the moment.
I'm an HSP ("highly sensitive person" as per Dr. Elaine Aron) and prefer to not be exposed to people constantly since it is exhausting! I have a dog, and when I see other people with dogs outside for a little chit chat, that is enough people for me for the day. For longer "peopling" I prefer when we are not socializing for its own sake (super boring) but using the time to study something together or work on a project together. I never feel lonely.
I’m 51 and I have never married. I’m so lonely that it can make my stomach hurt. I had a friendship with a young woman from work that I was hoping would lead to marriage but that fell apart in late 2016. The surveys saying that men who marry live about 4-5 years longer makes a lot of sense to me because I’m just lost without a wife.
Very inspiring talk, the crux of it all, my response a wee poem/Prayer/In profound silence our prayer calls out/An infinite incomprehensible universe/Does God feel less alone?/Do we?/Do I feel less alone/for writing this?/
When you retired and lost all your connections...drive out to find something you do not need when in reality all you doing is avoiding the loneliness of your abode...your cave....dark and indifferent....crawl in bed and cover your head w/the blanket....read...like mad, trying to connect to something that is not there....for you have nothing else to connect to....panic attacks, for you know damn well, suicide will be your next thought....Shit!!..It gets serious....dangerous....
I think that being alone once in a while is good for people, and I acknowledge that loneliness is a real thing that every human experiences. But he's essentially describing people's dissatisfaction in life or in themselves, and the feeling of being purposeless, and suggesting we just become OK with it. How can we just "push back" this loneliness and try to live like it's not there? That's far from satisfying! I believe with my whole heart that Jesus Christ came to earth to fill our hearts by dying for our dissatisfying lifestyle, our loneliness, our guilt. Don't settle for "pushing back" the lonely, seek Jesus, who fills us up and dispels loneliness and brokenness from our hearts!
who would be lonely because their partner falls asleep before they do ,this is sick ,all these people that have no friends should feel lonely ,I think about how to bring people together ,people need to agree with a moral code ,life style ,purpose and other things ,the more we agree the more we are connected and the better we feel but people dont want to see that their attitudes and behavour can be wrong and prefer to be alone
very smart man, loneliness is the greatest internal threat facing the United States. even wise and intelligent men are ignorant in other areas "God is lonelier than us" flaws: assuming God "lives"in the universe. most monotheistic religions believe, outside of creation. God is not contained within space nor time nor human emotions (loneliness), another creation of God.
I long to live alone once again, and prevent anyone from calling me or writing to me, I want to disappear and start again. A the moment I share with my girlfriend and she has clients staying for language lessons, I get no privacy. My dream is to escape and look forward to it happening. Loneliness is therapy.
Alexander Pope wrote that He doesn't want even a stone tell to the world where he lies after death. That was centuries ago. It means no matter if we have internet or technology. Lonliness is important to many people.
I feel pretty lonely at this time in my life. It takes initiative to go out and extend an invitation of friendship. For myself, I do not find it in my comfort zone at the moment due to so many things that have occurred recently. I am experiencing much grief too to the loss of my son and other relationships that I thought were supportive. I think he was trying to say that loneliness is always going to be a part of living. If you accept it, use it to your advantage then you may go out and get involved in something or with someone. My daughter never calls me. She lives an hour away, but I am never invited over unless they need a babysitter or someone to stay with the dog. I have done this for free always and I live on less than $800.00 a month. At this time in my life it has become a problem for me and I am choosing to be alone rather than feel lonely in their presence. My son-in-law has PTSD and refuses to acknowledge it and I was his focus of anger for 3 years. My daughter has suffered extreme stress from all of it. I would rather be alone and lonely at this point in my life. Good luck on making new friends....I know it is not always an easy thing to do.
I am sorry Debbie that you lost your son, so sorry. I have worked in health care over 30 years mostly critical care seen so many people die so much grief and sorrow. There are many support groups for grieving parents it might would help you to be with people that can understand what you are going through.
The only reason for loneliness is because we're clinging to things and people and when they're taken away we feel empty and lost so you have to be happy within and everything will be added in your life
What, then, does it mean if you've been alone and in solitude and don't mind what you see? That whatever processes are happening are simply ... processes by which to take a look at oneself?
I guess life is all about who does what to overcome lonliness.. Some paint, write, make RUclips videos, troll,etc. So maybe lonliness actually builds us to be who we are.
very smart man, loneliness is the greatest internal threat facing the United States. even wise and intelligent men are ignorant in other areas "God is lonelier than us" flaw 1 that is assuming God "lives"in the universe and not amongst us or elsewhere or, as most monotheistic religions believe, outside of creation. God is not contained within space nor time. flaw 2 an all-great God doesn't experience human challenges flaw 3 God being outside if His creation also includes human emotions. God uses words like anger or love to relate to us, not that His "emotions" are like ours or necessarily, emotions at all.
very smart man, loneliness is the greatest internal threat facing the United States. even wise and intelligent men are ignorant in other areas "God is lonelier than us"and his on to explain the space in the universe. flaw 1: that is assuming God "lives"in the universe and not amongst us or elsewhere or, as most monotheistic religions believe, outside of creation. God is not contained within space nor time. flaw 3: if you believe in an all-great God, then you know loneliness nor any other human emotion nor challenge would ever pose a challenge to God. otherwise, great work
It's good to know that someone's thinking about this. But, you really need to improve the intro. It was hard to tell where this was going, until way into the message. I almost abandoned it.
very smart man, loneliness is the greatest internal threat facing the United States. even wise and intelligent men are ignorant in other areas "God is lonelier than us" flaw 1 that is assuming God "lives"in the universe and not amongst us or elsewhere or, as most monotheistic religions believe, outside of creation. God is not contained within space nor time. flaw 2 if you believe in an all-great God, then you know loneliness nor any other human emotion nor challenge would ever pose a challenge to God. otherwise, great work.
very smart man, loneliness is the greatest internal threat facing the United States. even wise and intelligent men are ignorant in other areas "God is lonelier than us" flaw 1 assuming God "lives"in the universe. most monotheistic religions believe, outside of creation. God is not contained within space nor time. flaw 2 an all-great God doesn't experience human challenges flaw 3 God being outside if His creation also includes human emotions. God uses words like anger or love to relate to us, not that His "emotions" are like ours or necessarily, emotions at all.
One day our all powerful, living God will prove to you that you need God more than He needs you. Wise up sir, our Lord will return one day and if your belief does not change, you will be the lonely one. It is possible to have a vibrant relationship with a living God, His name is Immanuel, Jehovah, The Alpha and the Omega.
I disagree, I see psychedelics as feeding illusions and lying to yourself, while also destroying your body and mind. If you truly want to learn you have to have a period of life of extreme loneliness but immersed in nature and just observe things,instead of judging.
@@dominic6055 Thanks for the reply, Dominic. I agree that time spent alone in nature is priceless; I swim in the sea and jog along the shore twice a week and I always feel great afterwards. The psychedelic experience can indeed be difficult to interpret and can be confusing. I disagree that they destroy the body and mind; I've been taking them for years and they haven't affected my health or body deleteriously (quite the contrary, actually). Perhaps you didn't have the right set and setting when you took them.
I hung with you until you said "God is lonelier than you are". What gives you that knowledge? You obviously aren't a Christian. So how do you know God is lonely? Answer. You don't.
Loneliness can lead you to depression and break you to a point that you can't recover.
I found people who think loneliness develop strength are the one who haven't dealt with severe loneliness and depression,
I'm not talking about being couple of weeks or a month away from partner and family, i'm talking about struggling with loneliness for years and years. not having physical contact with someone else ...
Saying loneliness can make a person stronger is like starving someone and expecting that person become bodybuilder in result of that.
I think some people mix up being alone and being lonely ...
Soo true felt that way
In Christ you cannot be lonely. Anything is a choice. Have the mind of Christ
Yessss! I agree 100%
This is true !!!!
There is a distinction between loneliness and solitude
Enjoyed this talk. Ha, I can’t stand the silence, totally me. While battling depression and recent heartbreak, I’m doing my very best to NOT isolate myself. Presentations like this help to remind me to stay on a healthier path, thank you. Mostly because it shows me that I’m not the only one in this. Well done.
As he said a 1/4 of the population has no one to confide in. You are not alone and being by ourselves is not strange but a societal problem. Everyone in my family has died except me so Christmas is tough when I'm single. I also have suffered with depression and anxiety and heartbreak. It does change but also can come back again. All depends on who is in our lives. I'm here in the uk and care about you and wish you an Amazing 2020. Agape Love I'm sending you xxxx
@@mimilion6072 I'm so sorry, hope you're doing well 💜
I prefer my own company 90% of the time
yes ! , i too
i three
Im in a better place since this comment
introvert?
there's also a massive difference between being an introvert and preferring one's own company. i am not at all an introvert - i experience no shyness or reluctance around others and make new friends and acquaintances, etc. very easily. however, there are very few people i find interesting enough to want to spend more than a few hours with. i cannot decompress without enough "alone time" and, in general, i think those who need to surround themselves with people all the time are those who are terribly uncomfortable with themselves as discussed in the video as well. i will never be able to understand such people ... although i have many friends who are like this.
A certain amount of loneliness develops strength of character and artistic sense. It allows individuals to break free from the matrix we live in, and to become awakened and self-aware.
+mimosa27 .
+EcafLlort96 We can shake hands. I've been lonely for longer than you. It's painful. I never said it's fun...
agreed :)
No way! It's as if you said: wars and killing are not so bad, because we can make amazing movies on them, with great heroes and great drama, and everyone likes such stories, so moving! Well, tragedy is tragedy. You are lucky if you had only very minor dose of it, and managed it well, but that is no reason to promote it. You can only promote ways to get out of it.
However, it is true that it's good to be alone from time to time. But being alone and feeling lonely are different things. One can be painfully lonely in the midst of 1000 people. We all need time truly on our own, for sure, to make sure we are well connected with our own self, our own feelings, our own dreams, our own deepest values. It makes no sense to connect with others if we are not connected with our own self. We would all drift into non sense, driven my the marketing of companies who invest billions every year to dictate what we need, what we shoudl think, and of course, what we should buy --or buy in.
Being with ppl. is tiring. They always want something..........
Sheryl Castro if you dont want to give,then its tiring . Others want to give
Sheryl, not all people want things, you are just surrounded by mindless zombie types, lets get together sometime and just talk
You should have wrote "We" instead of "They"
A lot of times you dont realize when you want something as well
Lonelyness strengthens the psychological immune system. I don't mind feeling lonely. It's a fleeting thing, just like happyness. It took me a long time to distinguish between being alone and feeling lonely. In the beginning i felt lonely all the time, now i am mostly just alone with brief episodes of lonelyness. It is no longer a debilitating emotion. I can almost enjoy giving myself a few minutes to sob to myself, objectively look at that void and then do things that make me feel better. Because that is the function of emotions. Notice problem--> fix it.
If you would encounter someone who is perpetually happy, you know there is something fundamentally wrong with them too. I'm not sure anyone can keep up any one emotion without utterly imploding in on themselves. Maybe a buddhist monk after 20 years of training. That's why it's so hard. Balance is health. I need all emotions to flow through me, anger, fear, happyness, bliss, lonelyness, connectiveness. It's like coughing up something that's stuck in your throat. If you don't, you might choke on it. The flowing through is kind of the key thing here.
Did you know loneliness weakens the body's immune system? Backed by real science.
I don't think anyone would choose loneliness if he/she had choice, in my opinion, getting along with our loneliness is the last resort to handle our emotions ....
Truth is, what we can do, there are many things we can't change in our life...
there are people out there so popular, they find it hard to find alone time, and there are some others who are forgotten and never be missed...
I hoped this would help.. but it didn't at all. Yes, there are people out there.. so many people.. but they are not connected to me.. so it's like looking at others and feeling alone.. it doesn't help that they 'are there.' It just reinforces the lonliness.
Hi Andrea. Tell me about yourself
I agree.
Have things changed for you yet ?
Thanks for your comments and questions. Three years later, I've revisited this. I'm pleased to say that I'm changing 😊 and learning to love myself. Still alone, but so much less lonely 😁❤ Take care lovely people xxx
i dont feel lonely anymore its gotten to the point where i dont feel anything.....
You alright mate?
Well, loneliness in doses is good for reflecting profoundly on meaning, destiny and consolidating ones experiences. It is an opportunity for building autonomy and defining yourself as an individual, to behold nature in its purest form, to contemplate the world apart from humans and their symbols. But it is also demonstrated to be dangerous to those who are not equipped or prepared to cope with prolonged isolation. Statistics show that it is associated with increased risk of heart disease, HIV progression, cognition impairment and abnormal sleeping patterns & ultimately premature death in certain cases. People need eachother.
You mixed up being alone and feeling lonely. Please watch the talk again, and/or study social connection sciences for 2 minutes, before promoting unhealthiness!
+Nawang Jinpa hey man, you're right, I should've said 'being alone' instead of loneliness. But apart from that, I stick by what I said
And it is not good for man to be alone. I shall create a help meet saith the Lord. For when one falls down who is there to pick him up?
How exactly can I catch HIV by being alone?
"HIV progression" Go finish highschool , dumbass.
Loneliness is the thing that drives us to find others, to be social and sometimes to make babies. This answers my question why such an unpleasant feeling could be so successful!
In 2008, I received a 6-month severance pay, and decided to travel 25 countries. But the loneliness of living out of suitcase was too much, and I quit after 4.5 months. The loneliness was so profound that I decided that I need to find a marriage partner. I also decided to make my marriage fun and supportive for my wife. By supportive, I mean I want to be there when she feels alone. (Unfortunately, my wife has other ideas about marriage, and we went separate ways.)
It is often not loneliness itself that is hard to bear but the constant pressure and impression by society that those who are alone in life have somehow failed at life. If we don't or cannot make adequate connections with others or move our life in expected directions like being part of a happy family or being surrounded by loving friends we are seen as going against societal norms. Some people choose to be lonely, others have loneliness put upon them because of circumstance, the thing is, most people do adapt and find some level at which they are content with themselves and if left to just 'be' would find their happiness. Constantly being told or reminded that 'Loneliness kills', is not normal, and that we should all be making a better effort to 'reconnect' is not helpful, it's misguided and shows lack of empathy and understanding. It's ok to be lonely the same as it is ok to be hurt or feel unhappy or be disappointed. You are not hurting yourself or society by feeling lonely, it's ok to live with it, it doesn't mean you failed at your life.
Loneliness, like any emotion, is our habitual reaction to thoughts. And, like any habit, we can change our thoughts and our reactions. Hence, can practice feeling oneness no matter what the situation or our thoughts we can CHOOSE our reaction and hence our experience. Completed philosophies are not necessary when one has practice the skill of feeling oneness, happiness, joy or love.
Loneliness sucks, but so do the traditional social activities....
I AGREE. I hate when you try to make a new game or sport and everyone thinks your weird. Then, those same group of people suggest doing the traditional social activities. Man, those activities are BORING.
I don't fear being alone and isolated. I fear my circumstance leading to my daughter not knowing or no longer experiencing the awesome love I hold for her. That I experience that love alone, eats holes in my soul.
Thank you for putting into words how I feel. I wish more people were addressing this subject
You are the best manager of your own emotions.
&
*Awareness is the tool for realizing element of compassion in you.*
😊
I'm avoiding myself and my own loneliness by filling the silence and watching this video haha
Being alone is not for the sake of itself but for being with things that are more than and beyond the mindless superficiality of our social chatter.
Merik, I agree. Today, i was trying to find a reason why I dont engage in socializing more often. And I answer, if it's not about something I can relate too, I feel like I'm flapping my gums and nonsense is coming out. You said it, superficiality of social chatter
I like my own company i find that when i have so call friends in my life and family members. It makes my life unhappy. Decluttering my phone contacts. My home address i have changed also my house phone is the best thing. I suffer fibromyalgia and i have a injury with my lower back. Chronic pain 24/ 7 i just cannot deal.with anyone say the wrong word to me. I am sorry i dont need too much questions and prying in my life. I did not choose to be sick and it takes great strength for me to cope each day. I dont socialise at all. Just my small circle of family its enough for me and i feel so blessed. No one should be lonely and my heart goes out to anyone who is experiencing this. Society causes this because it can make you feel if you dont have a bought house or have a car your not doing big things this is. Terrible actions of people i went out years ago. And sat near to a group of people and the bragging city was in that circle. I am not jealous of anyone but we all need to know that in this life we my have all these letters infront of our names and feel better than the homeless.people on the street we all.are going six feet into the ground we are not carrying no worldly possessions its just our bodies in that caskit so just live a good life be kind be thoughtful have comppassion and serve god. Becsuse only god has the final say.
Im here . Are you here?
No I am not here...
For now.
I'm here
I am
Im here, who else is here lol?!!
Modernity has blessed/cursed us with a heightened sense of awkwardness. It's hard to assert this with absolute certainty, seeing as we only ever catch glimpses of the bygone everyday and what social-routines were like for the average person a century ago (and beyond).
At any rate, based on my samplings of yore eras, what constitutes awkwardness nowadays would have been unfathomable just a century ago across most cultures. This never seems to get a mention in these talks and loosely related ones that touch on isolation, even though it's arguably the driving force behind why so many are prone to isolate in the modern world. Particularly the more analytically inclined.
Perhaps the pivotal role awkwardness plays is discussed in books that target loneliness, but I doubt it. It would've made its way to some of the talks or promotional interviews by the books' authors.
Anyone know of a talk that delves into inflated vs. deflated standards for awkwardness?
One of the wisest TED TALKs!
thanks, the kick I needed to give my other brother a call.
yeah! im calling my grandma!
lead a productive life and find your purpose in life and you will never feel lonely or loneliness
+1 as there is literally nothing to take away from Brendan Myers "Talk"... It's weak in the extreme/beyond obvious. He seems like a very nice and smart guy but for anyone that has studied archeology, anthropology or ethnography or even history will be shaking their head in disbelief this was ever a "Talk"? What have "We" become?
Ty what do you mean by productive life?
Now you tell me and I'm already retired and sick. Damn.
@sam, you got a great point. In the last 3 years, I have spent so much time at work, and I have just being very engaged with my work; I simply lost track of time. I rarely get lonely, only a few hours a month. I don't go out with friends much like I used to, yet I feel very happy. (Maybe, Brendan Myers is right that when we have a lot of times to be alone and we don't like what we see in ourselves, that causes a lot of loneliness. I know that was the case for me, because I have friends who were not supportive and made me feel sad about my life. Well I am glad I don't hang out with them anymore.)
sam luke ~ Cover it up with workaholism in other words.
There are studies that show lonliness can lead to death thru heart attack. It's about balance between solitude and company and I'm now out of balance since 2 close friends died, family moved away and my partner who worked away but was home week ends dropped dead suddenly. Out and about I can smile at people exchange a few words with them but it doesn't ease the lonliness
heart attack sounds like a sudden way to go, ill take that over brain cancer any day
Happiness is overrated we need problems in life otherwise what would we work on ?
All alone people stay strong stay true! You are going to successfull and make more money than anybody else.
This guy would be awesome to have a conversation with. Great energy.
Have courage to be alone. If you study self compassion you will know that you are the one that cares about you the most. You must put yourself first and that's ok. Learn to do things you really enjoy and go from there. Do something
Why is it so difficult to be happy?
Because suffering is a necessary and sufficient condition for the existence of life. Life is suffering.
Eurodollartrader Life is pain, suffering is optional.
"Embrace the pain, and you will win this game" -Avi "The way out is through" -Trent Reznor
Happiness is an idea. Time to unlearn.
loneliness and aloneness is a bitch when you're looking to travel, and all the travel prices you find quote "per person, twin share"...or even "save up to $x,xxx per couple" as was in the TV ad I just saw
When I'm alone I fully connect with my philanthropic morality. 💫👣💫
Wow, he's really intelligent, and young too. Very profound :-)
My main take away from this amongst other things is, loneliness helps us build great things to alert people of our presence but we need these loneliness in order to achieve this brilliance and it in turn will allow people to not feel so lonely with their lives knowing that we are out there somewhere from the marks that we leave behind be or something as great as the Eiffel Tower or something obscure like a sandcastle
Gods is love
I took a dump on the beach once. It said that I was here in no uncertain terms.
I am here, is anybody out there?
I am!
jeremy AU We're here :)
I am but I'll bet you're long gone by now.
Aliens Jeremy and they know your weight on Mars.
I am comfortably numb
It is amazing to me That there are so many people on the planet and that there are so many people with Internet connections and we can connect with those some of those people but it’s not the same as having a person with you love or a good friend or a parent ...it’s just not the same... when you feel really comfortable with someone and you don’t have to talk that much that is when loneliness becomes less of an ordeal. Being alone is not bad but being with people that care about you is so much better.
It becomes tempting to wonder about how tribalcommunities like in Africa and Southamerica can have so low amounts of problems when it comes to loniless and depression.
Great speech I have ever heard in my life
Dear sir we worship a Creator who has no blemishes or weaknesses such as us humans experience which is loneliness.
We believe in a Creator who is Far above the created things in all forms n is Perfect n Pure n cannot have the weaknesses of humanity or creation with its limits. Thanks
Funny how so many people know so much and say it so matter of fact. It shows how lonely they are, doesn't it?
I just like to share feelings and moments. To cook for someone and to watch a movie with someone. To hold someone in your arms. But in loneliness there is freedom, creativity and loneliness is usvally the fate of a great thinker. I teach Music and Philosophy. You are never alone... the right term is that there is a distance between you and what you consider company. But you are not alone. The purpose of every being is itself... not from an egoistic point of view. We are ideas, in the mind of The Being. We do not exist due to our will. So we need a meaning, a purpose. Love and affection, family or a partner, usvally give meaning..
there is a place to have a beautiful relationship with a living God
Kevin Elliott yes there is!!!
Amen
Yes! God bless you!
Thank you Brendan ! Nice talk
Well delivered, informative and interesting talk. Thank you. But why is social media not elevating loneliness?
I like this guy!
Truly profound. Thank You
I am here and I am not afraid.
"there's nothing you can do, but here's what you can do....."
Why would god feel the same loneliness as humans? If god exists, I highly doubt he would feel and think the same as we do.
humans are made in the lord's image.
10.32 That girl looks at the camera and wipes her tears off with a sile on her face . I know .. i could relate to it to that level too ...
We are programmed and conditioned beings. At school they teach us how to become " someone" by adding titels, positions,money. Yes the amount of money tells people how good and succesful you are. We are already someone, we would be better of if they would teach us at school things that we really can work with. Throw in some non-duality teachings, learn someone how to be not afraid to be on theirself and learn them that they must look at who they really are, not the personality , the one with the body,name and ego. I wish i learned that earlier in my life. Teach the Law of Attraction, show people how things work,that they can crate their own reality. And another thing that would be great is The Work from Byron Kstie. In one point of this speech i heard " people considering the fact that their lifes are not meaningful" Well i guess somewhere inside we have a natural urge to feel that to be satisfied. But ask yourself, is it really true that your life should be meaningful and why? Just live, just be. It is really an art to live that way, and honestly i,m still although i,m in my fifties learning this. After being dependant and co- dependant all my life i was forced to live on my own without nobody, no husband, parents, or friends or pets. I lost it, drowned in anxiety, and sometimes i still do.But try to look after the so called reality, maybe it,s an illusion, indeed a matrix, a holodeck where you can see the outside world as a projection of believes and thoughts you hold in your mind. There is so much to investigwte, to read, to learn, and if you search a deeper understanding of life therefor you have to be alone without distraction.
And now?!
I used to think that negative attention was better then none, but thats only true to a degree.
I am here.
Being alone gives you freedom, freedom not to have people tell you "Oh! Don't do that." or "This is not good for you." or, or ,or. and it goes on. I live alone and my life is wonderful. I don't have any negative people around me, no friends, no family, just me. Life is great!
How long on your own?
Great speech however it got me choking on the part where he describes of what he thinks is some version of GOD. One should just leave GOD to what GOD is.. just and only for themselves. “Describing his GOD as being lonely... such a humanitarian thought. That of GOD and the of being alone while in the moment.
Wow!! Super Awesome Message!!! Super amazing!!!! Super Thanks!!
Not a list of tips, but still somehow comforting.
Great talk. I really enjoyed it.
Nice definition of sacred!
I'm an HSP ("highly sensitive person" as per Dr. Elaine Aron) and prefer to not be exposed to people constantly since it is exhausting! I have a dog, and when I see other people with dogs outside for a little chit chat, that is enough people for me for the day. For longer "peopling" I prefer when we are not socializing for its own sake (super boring) but using the time to study something together or work on a project together. I never feel lonely.
I’m 51 and I have never married. I’m so lonely that it can make my stomach hurt. I had a friendship with a young woman from work that I was hoping would lead to marriage but that fell apart in late 2016. The surveys saying that men who marry live about 4-5 years longer makes a lot of sense to me because I’m just lost without a wife.
5 years isnt a long time. try chatting with singles or maybe a widow, they are good ladies
Very inspiring talk, the crux of it all, my response a wee poem/Prayer/In profound silence
our prayer
calls out/An infinite
incomprehensible
universe/Does God feel
less alone?/Do we?/Do I feel
less alone/for writing this?/
When you retired and lost all your connections...drive out to find something you do not need when in reality all you doing is avoiding the loneliness of your abode...your cave....dark and indifferent....crawl in bed and cover your head w/the blanket....read...like mad, trying to connect to something that is not there....for you have nothing else to connect to....panic attacks, for you know damn well, suicide will be your next thought....Shit!!..It gets serious....dangerous....
Suicide is painless, It brings on many changes. I'm going for it.
I think that being alone once in a while is good for people, and I acknowledge that loneliness is a real thing that every human experiences. But he's essentially describing people's dissatisfaction in life or in themselves, and the feeling of being purposeless, and suggesting we just become OK with it. How can we just "push back" this loneliness and try to live like it's not there? That's far from satisfying! I believe with my whole heart that Jesus Christ came to earth to fill our hearts by dying for our dissatisfying lifestyle, our loneliness, our guilt. Don't settle for "pushing back" the lonely, seek Jesus, who fills us up and dispels loneliness and brokenness from our hearts!
Amen!!!
who would be lonely because their partner falls asleep before they do ,this is sick ,all these people that have no friends should feel lonely ,I think about how to bring people together ,people need to agree with a moral code ,life style ,purpose and other things ,the more we agree the more we are connected and the better we feel but people dont want to see that their attitudes and behavour can be wrong and prefer to be alone
very smart man, loneliness is the greatest internal threat facing the United States.
even wise and intelligent men are ignorant in other areas "God is lonelier than us"
flaws: assuming God "lives"in the universe. most monotheistic religions believe, outside of creation. God is not contained within space nor time nor human emotions (loneliness), another creation of God.
I long to live alone once again, and prevent anyone from calling me or writing to me, I want to disappear and start again. A the moment I share with my girlfriend and she has clients staying for language lessons, I get no privacy. My dream is to escape and look forward to it happening. Loneliness is therapy.
Can’t you read? You should be more careful when looking through people’s posts!
Take a hike you weirdo👍
Raw truth, thank you.
Alexander Pope wrote that He doesn't want even a stone tell to the world where he lies after death. That was centuries ago. It means no matter if we have internet or technology. Lonliness is important to many people.
As of now I have no friends! I don't get why loneliness has importance?
its more about finding solitude in loneliness. independence. a strong sense of individuality.
saberianamir
I want you to explain FURTHER!
I feel pretty lonely at this time in my life. It takes initiative to go out and extend an invitation of friendship. For myself, I do not find it in my comfort zone at the moment due to so many things that have occurred recently. I am experiencing much grief too to the loss of my son and other relationships that I thought were supportive. I think he was trying to say that loneliness is always going to be a part of living. If you accept it, use it to your advantage then you may go out and get involved in something or with someone. My daughter never calls me. She lives an hour away, but I am never invited over unless they need a babysitter or someone to stay with the dog. I have done this for free always and I live on less than $800.00 a month. At this time in my life it has become a problem for me and I am choosing to be alone rather than feel lonely in their presence. My son-in-law has PTSD and refuses to acknowledge it and I was his focus of anger for 3 years. My daughter has suffered extreme stress from all of it. I would rather be alone and lonely at this point in my life. Good luck on making new friends....I know it is not always an easy thing to do.
WHAT
I am sorry Debbie that you lost your son, so sorry. I have worked in health care over 30 years mostly critical care seen so many people die so much grief and sorrow. There are many support groups for grieving parents it might would help you to be with people that can understand what you are going through.
We come alone and leave alone.
We are lonely.
Excellent talk
The only reason for loneliness is because we're clinging to things and people and when they're taken away we feel empty and lost so you have to be happy within and everything will be added in your life
Love this!!!
No great novel was written while in good company.
What, then, does it mean if you've been alone and in solitude and don't mind what you see? That whatever processes are happening are simply ... processes by which to take a look at oneself?
I. Am. Here.
´´Turn around
I am here
If you want it's me you'll see´´
Tokio Hotel - By Your Side
We
are
here
We
are
not
of
human
origin
Change the title of the video. It doesn't describe the talk.
I guess life is all about who does what to overcome lonliness..
Some paint, write, make RUclips videos, troll,etc.
So maybe lonliness actually builds us to be who we are.
very smart man, loneliness is the greatest internal threat facing the United States.
even wise and intelligent men are ignorant in other areas "God is lonelier than us"
flaw 1 that is assuming God "lives"in the universe and not amongst us or elsewhere or, as most monotheistic religions believe, outside of creation. God is not contained within space nor time.
flaw 2 an all-great God doesn't experience human challenges
flaw 3 God being outside if His creation also includes human emotions. God uses words like anger or love to relate to us, not that His "emotions" are like ours or necessarily, emotions at all.
talks need to have more volume....
Do you know where the volume knob is on your speakers? Try it sometime.
choice or not, that is the real question I beleive so
very smart man, loneliness is the greatest internal threat facing the United States.
even wise and intelligent men are ignorant in other areas "God is lonelier than us"and his on to explain the space in the universe.
flaw 1: that is assuming God "lives"in the universe and not amongst us or elsewhere or, as most monotheistic religions believe, outside of creation. God is not contained within space nor time.
flaw 3: if you believe in an all-great God, then you know loneliness nor any other human emotion nor challenge would ever pose a challenge to God.
otherwise, great work
Love is what i neeed i dont care what u say
God is Not lonely
It's good to know that someone's thinking about this. But, you really need to improve the intro. It was hard to tell where this was going, until way into the message. I almost abandoned it.
very smart man, loneliness is the greatest internal threat facing the United States.
even wise and intelligent men are ignorant in other areas "God is lonelier than us"
flaw 1 that is assuming God "lives"in the universe and not amongst us or elsewhere or, as most monotheistic religions believe, outside of creation. God is not contained within space nor time.
flaw 2 if you believe in an all-great God, then you know loneliness nor any other human emotion nor challenge would ever pose a challenge to God.
otherwise, great work.
very smart man, loneliness is the greatest internal threat facing the United States.
even wise and intelligent men are ignorant in other areas "God is lonelier than us"
flaw 1 assuming God "lives"in the universe. most monotheistic religions believe, outside of creation. God is not contained within space nor time.
flaw 2 an all-great God doesn't experience human challenges
flaw 3 God being outside if His creation also includes human emotions. God uses words like anger or love to relate to us, not that His "emotions" are like ours or necessarily, emotions at all.
I am here too :)
I hate being lonely. Isn't loneliness a form of punishment i.e. solitary confinement?
its for the people who dont follow the rules in jail
God does not need us! He is the great I am!
We have to be intentional about our lives by being intentional which requires being relational.
One day our all powerful, living God will prove to you that you need God more than He needs you. Wise up sir, our Lord will return one day and if your belief does not change, you will be the lonely one. It is possible to have a vibrant relationship with a living God, His name is Immanuel, Jehovah, The Alpha and the Omega.
yay
Have you heard of or read "Tao of Physics" written by Fritjof Capra?
Want to learn more? -> Psychedelics
I disagree, I see psychedelics as feeding illusions and lying to yourself, while also destroying your body and mind. If you truly want to learn you have to have a period of life of extreme loneliness but immersed in nature and just observe things,instead of judging.
@@dominic6055 Thanks for the reply, Dominic. I agree that time spent alone in nature is priceless; I swim in the sea and jog along the shore twice a week and I always feel great afterwards. The psychedelic experience can indeed be difficult to interpret and can be confusing. I disagree that they destroy the body and mind; I've been taking them for years and they haven't affected my health or body deleteriously (quite the contrary, actually). Perhaps you didn't have the right set and setting when you took them.
I hung with you until you said "God is lonelier than you are".
What gives you that knowledge? You obviously aren't a Christian. So how do you know God is lonely? Answer. You don't.
The studies seem to show that being alone can be very unhealthy for some (most) but for some the OPPOSITE is true.
its been proven that BAD social connections INCREASE chances of mental illness. stick to the good ones, but only you know whats good
Story of my life...
Internet does not help with lonliness.
If the importance is not 'extended reasoning', then the video has wasted your time.
Say .-Hello in there!!