DIO's Fight Before Christmas

Voiced by: Riverdude Covers
/ riverdudecovers
Artwork by: Diana A Go Go
/ @dianaagogo
Santa Dio Art by Train Wreck Blonde
www.tumgir.com...
The Poem itself
Twas the Night Before Christmas
And across the fanbase
Not a soul was stirring
Not even Kars in Space
The stockings were hung
By the chimney with care
In the hopes that quite soon
Christmas would be there
The children all nestled,
Quite safe in their beds
While the first strings of Roundabout
Played in their heads.
And my body pillow,
And my Gyro cap,
Had just dozed off
For a Long Winter’s nap.
When suddenly out came a cry from the city
In the sounds of what must be an awful calamity
Away to my window
So frighteningly quick
When next, I exhaled:
“Oh, this guy’s a Dick.”
For what i saw was no small sleigh or stroller
Instead i saw flying a bright yellow road roller
When what i should see was the most bizarre,
But an evil vampire
And eight tiny Joestars
With the vampiric driver
His fangs all aglow
I knew in a moment,
This must be DIO
He turned to his steeds
Though I knew their fame,
He whistled and called out to each one by name
“On Jonathan, on Joseph
On Jotaro and Josuke
On Giorno, Jolyne, Johnny
And the OTHER Josuke
From Victorian England, to those eyes on the Wall,
Now Run Away, Run Away,
Run Away, All!”
So up to the housetop, The Joestars they flew
With a bundle of toys
And Dio Brando, too
And then with a creaking, the roof was indented
A sign of the vampire, whom I resented.
And as I hung my head, considering to flee
Down came the vampire with a jolly old “WRYYY”
He was dressed all in leather, Gaudy and Showy
And they seemed to be covered,
All bloody and Snowy.
And just when I thought we should fear for our lives
He whipped out a gift of brand-new kitchen knives
His Fangs- how they twinkled! His Smile-so scary
He brought new video games,
For the man fond of cherries.
The hair on his head was as blonde as the sun
The same way it had been when he appeared
In part one.
His boots, it seemed, had been made by Gucci
Both freshly polished by his boyfriend, Pucci
And then, with a laugh that sounded most vile
He decided he’d keep this new body a while
He was ripped and in shape, an absolute hunk
As big as his ego, the size of his junk
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know i had something to dread
He chuckled a bit, then went to his work
And stole all the presents,
Good Grief, what a jerk.
And then I approached him,
But striking a pose
He flipped me the finger,
And up the chimney he rose
He climbed on his roller, to his team gave a cry
And then all at once, they took to the sky
But i heard him cry out, ere he flew out of sight
“I hate you all, Merry Christmas, goodnight”
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[@newgodnewworld]

The hole in kakyoins stocking caught me off guard holy crap

[@jackbluepirate87]

This will definitely be a hit in Europe!

[@mikedragon8745]

You wanna who also said that Hit-

[@burntcrabbypatty]

Dio might be a bad guy, but he's good at heart cause he said Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to y'all!

[@FalFalowo]

I fuckin busted a gut at
“I HATE YOU ALL
MERRY CHRISTMAS
GOODNIGHT “
Fantastic delivery as always dude! Happy holidays :D

[@makogp747]

so this is the story of how dio came in
stole presents
refuses to elaborate
and leaves
merry christmas riverdude, hope next year goes great too

[@snappingshrimp235]

Man this is AWESOME! The comedy, the pacing, the narration, the rhymes, the junk, all amazing! Thank you for another Bizarre Christmas Mr. Riverdude.

[@crimsondragon2711]

Glad to see you’re still alive. Happy Holidays Riverdude!

[@rameball]

Jesus dude

[@RandomMeta]

Ofc he is

[@sl1m_shady831]

"He lived bitch"

[@noriakikakyoin7961]

I swear I don't remember a hole in my stocking last year..

[@kilzfordays]

*Looks down at chest *

[@depressedgwyndolin]

Oh gods you don't know do you

[@Hoodfacehawk]

Not the kakyoin stocking nooo

[@diego6424]

No villain cover? Oh well, this is OK as well. Merry Christmas you madman

[@RiverdudeCovers]

you assume theres only one Christmas video

[@_punpun_]

@@RiverdudeCovers oh yeah

[@committinglivent]

@Diego 64 You might want to check it out

[@darkaura7777]

Aged like fine wine

[@chrisscott2824]

Honestly this is surprisingly accurate for a dio christmas

[@akari5196]

Merry Christmas and that was beautiful

[@jellydoge5207]

beans

[@TheGoldenPhantomy]

Beans

[@solidskullz5736]

Have a WWWWRRRRYYYYYY-ly merry Christmas

[@ryantoth676]

I. Didn't know I needed this. But I did

[@Hoodfacehawk]

Best bed time stort

[@mikeythenephilimking24]

That…. (Wipes tear away..)
🥲
Was, Beautiful
👊😌

[@kenzieuchiha1191]

That "I hate you all, merry Christmas, GOODNIGHT!!" killed me.

[@shaivisingh872]

2:58 oh? You're approaching me?

[@purplepapos1460]

Absolute masterpiece

[@ElsieDraven]

This is a beautiful story, thank you once again for your service, Riverdude😩🤞

[@cherryblossom5527]

Merry Christmas!
🎉🎅☃️🎄🦌🎉

[@purpleplasma4824]

3:15 At least he wished us a good night.

[@RWBYraikou888]

You know, I've always wondered how DIO would act during Christmas, considering it was powerful enough to bring WWI to a standstill. ...My guess is that DIO would use that opportunity to massacre large city gatherings, especially the carolers.

[@kromerei]

Let’s go, poggers

[@PacaJack]

I'll always be here for the christmas songs ;)

[@bluewatchmaster5411]

OH MY GOODNESS THIS WAS JUST BEAUTIFUL AND MAGNIFICENT 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Absolute genius!! Merry JoJo Christmas! 🎄🎅❤

[@DoritoIsBored]

They just had to put a hole in kakyoins stoking

[@xxAznToxin13xx]

This was absolutely beautiful! "I HATE YOU ALL! MERRY CHRISTMAS! GOOD NIGHT!"

[@satoshidesuka4162]

I just wanna say to everyone, Have a Happy Jojo Christmas

[@Enny-chan]

Ahhhh..Classic Dio. Always being a grouch and torturing Joestars every christmas.

[@valleyluvsU]

Happy Holidays!! and if you don’t celebrate it have a good weekend!! 💕🎁🎊🎉

[@mehlover]

This was absolutely amazing+

[@Bionicbutter43]

I'm going to steal Santa's disks

[@ayoitsme_gftxd8510]

no now start polishing dios burnt boots

[@Bionicbutter43]

@@ayoitsme_gftxd8510 I'm going to polish your face with a sanding belt

[@Yeayyyaaa]

At least he said Merry Christmas

[@r_spyder]

I clicked this video thinking it would be terrible, I was wrong.

[@N_DAnimationEnthusiast]

Dodododo that’s DIO!!
Merry Christmas, River.

[@samuelmelendez7566]

This is very clever and each lyric fit so well

[@ChaseHukill]

Merry Christmas, bro

[@Kitaharao7]

Happy holidays Riverdude

[@WeirdTroll666]

Merry Christmas and thanks for making my day once again!

[@FraudFrogletthegreatest]

The girono in the is soo cute man! :) merry Christmas! AH and yes dio's boyfriend is pucci simp.

[@Ever_Curious]

I absolutely love this

[@joleencujoh2011]

Merry Christmas Riverdude! Happy holidays!

[@YourLocalFraudster]

Not the Kakyoin Stocking..

[@lm7677]

Well at least we still have the video ga- oh you’re taking those two? Never mind then

[@waltermodel8313]

This is just wunderbar.

[@peanutbutterbaby9]

Bestimmt!

[@peanutbutterbaby9]

Immer wunderbar

[@raidernationSpursfoundation]

I'm not gonna lie, dio be looking kinda thick 3:03

[@NineOneTwenty]

It’s gonna be a JoJo Christmas after all…

[@waggleytime4254]

I’m going to read this to my nephews next year

[@leonakinglion3210]

I read this to my nephew this year.

[@waggleytime4254]

@@leonakinglion3210 godbless

[@percyplant474]

Kind of Christmas story I would tell my Niece and Nephews 😌

[@vinegardoppiovolo3004]

Merry chrismas to all

[@sebastianmaraon323]

Poggers

[@shnizelberotev8619]

YAAY!

[@raejiisa4948]

What a Dio Brando.

[@ServantVan]

Santa clus when Santa accidentally gave dio brando his job while Santa was on break:

[@jotarokujo505]

... Family bonding... I guess?

[@thatoneguy41269]

the fucking Kakyoin stocking

[@robloxsolo]

DIO I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND STEAL BACK MY PRESENT >:(

[@wabbatal]

1:50 Nice donut on the wall there

[@edgyusername4191]

MaWRY Christmas for 2023.

[@eliselo9073]

How kind of Dio to get a gift for Kakyoin

[@AramatiPaz]

Dude's tendency to zoom in in Dio's crotch didn't went unnoticed.

[@mrmeg8044]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@mushyrooms6404]

merry christmas to everyone here

[@sagittariusneptune9330]

Love all 8 Joestars I wonder who 9 gonna be?

[@yv1532]

Bruh kakyoins stocking lol

[@KaanSepticher]

Lit

[@SmrtPhonRtistCF]

Classic.

[@robloxsolo]

but dio
i was a bad boy :(

[@hungergames6929]

You did not have to do my man kakyoin like that with the stocking

[@Quotethe]

You had a good opportunity to replace "run away all" with "nyniooooo"

[@cheapguechhour6758]

Kakyoin sock tho😳😳😳

[@wildstorm3486]

Epic

[@conconcrete]

Diana a go go was on a stocking 👁👁

[@romanolejnik6868]

Nice

[@chloemae5618]

Hell yeah!!! WRRRYYYYY!!!!!!! XX

[@user-vg7mk8ur9c]

Merry Christmas guys i not celebrated Christmas but still happy holiday to all of u

[@TheShuckmeister]

Very funny

[@te9250]

Beautiful

[@tenacious-hubb8781]

I'm not first, but someone else is, merry christmas

[@Sawtooth44]

da-RUUUUUUUUUUDA!

[@Phasmal]

Deck the halls with joestar Generations lalalala lalalala

[@themusicalgamer9450]

Poor kakyoin

[@sedona1543]

This is better than the original poem

[@dracobushe5920]

MERRYCHRISTMAS EVERYONE

[@castorflordal5516]

I heard that vanoss "alright"

[@coolstarb.]

DIO: maybe l don't want to be a bad guy anymore.😂Happy holidays everyone!

[@moshimarieltifatherevicefa5550]

Hahahahahaha that sooo funny hahahahaha

[@thepyrostickfigure7637]

Perfection

[@zawarudo855]

I made a JoJo Night Before Christmas last year but I never uploaded it and now it's gone because it was on my high school account and I graduated in May

[@pikachudsi9203]

Dio!

[@macewindu1]

here before it blew up

[@_lucas_2066]

.

[@hunnykun101]

Lol Dio would be a Grinch.
Merry Christmas everyone

[@local_blitz_enthusiast8395]

Did anyone realise that kakyoins stocking has a hole in it

[@ShrekdaSwampMan]

Wassup

[@blazefoxxofficial]

Some how dio is maybe... "too" much in character

[@BylethEisnerThreeHouses]

I'm 99% sure Dio is small in the pants. I wouldn't actually know though.

[@psybon1498]

👍

[@cooperwagner1504]

Ah a new Christmas classic