I also identify as queer, although I don't mind the term pansexual. Queer just sounds better to me, and I feel more comfortable within that label (if that makes sense). My sexuality is also feels pretty fluid, and queer gives me tons of wiggle room bc I can define it myself.
I'm gay but I identified as pansexual for a while, and I feel like queer sounds much more casual and pansexual sounds more clinical. It's like homosexual/gay or heterosexual/straight, but if you're pansexual the only other was to say it is pan, which is basically the same word.
this is p much how I feel. I used to identify as Pansexual, but I grew uncomfortable putting a label on myself. Queer has such a wider aspect to it and I am the most comfortable calling myself that
Im still finding my sexuality and I am falling towards queer | I feel pansexual like you, sometimes asexual because I don't wanna have a sexual intercourse, sometimes bisexual all at the same time.
im really happy you took the time to explain this! i relate a lot to the whole "80% man 20% squiggle" thing. im still very confused about my gender and i know i want to transition later in life (i dont at all identify as female) but i dont feel i fully identify as male either? but i dont like the term nonbinary for me personally, and trans man is okay, but after watching this im starting to warm up to the idea of identifying my gender as "queer" especially since ive always seen it more used to sexuality. also, thank you for the captions! that really helps me out too!
Same. Like when I was 7 or 8, I painted my own nails with red blue, and purple. I loved the way they looked, but got rid of them because at the time everyone called me a tomboy and I didn't want to be bullied. Tbh, I'd love to now, but I came out to my friends/school at the end of last year (literally on the last day of school :P) and I'm not 100% sure how some of them feel. We have some event coming up soon and that will be the 1st time I've seen any of them in 3 months (so anti-social lol). Might later this year though. I also recently dyed part of my hair (the tips of it) red. I guess it's my way of "painting my nails" without actually doing it.
I identify as queer but if I HAD to pin point it in a way I would say I'm pan.I would date someone no matter what they identify but in terms of who I am physically/aesthetically attracted to,that changes.I can be attracted to any gender but some days I'm like"men are so attractive omfg biggest gay right here"but the next day or week,whatever it flips"women are so adorable I love them so much"but other times I am equally attracted to them.I feel like identifying as queer allows for that fluidity.
You are honestly one of the most open, funny and helpful trans man on RUclips! Just started watching your channel and have already subscribed and watched about 50 videos. Love you xx
This video literally sums up my thoughts and feelings exactly. Glad you made a point to mention not to ascribe a label to someone unless they've expressed that they identify with it, I feel like that's something a lot of people overlook these days.
the 80/20 gender split is exactly how i feel, and while i also identify as male i don't identify as fully male, but also not nonbinary either. having that "squiggle" space is very freeing to me but often gets me confused as to whether im """really""" male or not. im pretty feminine in societal ideas (i like soft things and pink and glitter) but my presentation and identity are definitely more masculine, although those too have a little bit of "squiggle" to them. that being said, since identifying as a gay guy i've felt SO much more comfortable with myself. I used to think I was pan/bi but i think it stemmed from compulsory heterosexuality and i now realize i really only like women aesthetically. i would also date nonbinary people tho but i still feel the most comfortable calling myself gay.
+Týr You can't tell them how they see other genders. You can't just avoid thinking about how you identify, so let them express that part of themselves freely.
I identify as queer because I feel as though it encompases both my sexual/romantic orientarion and my gender expression in a way that doesn't spark a whole "that doesn't exist!!" debate, so I guess it feels safer for me when talking to people in general idk plus it just feels right
Sooo so so so nice to hear someone else who has such an astoundingly similar sense of self as me. I used to identify as pan before I knew about the concept of queer, and it's the most perfect, comfortable word for me.
thanks for making this video chase! I ID as bi but I will describe myself as "queer" every now and again, sometimes it makes me feel a little more a part of the rainbow community if that makes any sense. I always like to hear people's reasons for using/not using queer as an identifier because everyone has such different answers and it's a nice reminder that there are so many wonderful unique people in our community ☺️ much love to you! 💕
Thank you so much Chase! After watching your videos my boyfriend declared that I've been so frustrated with my identity because I'm 100% squiggle and didn't know 😂😅 but really, all kidding aside, thank you for helping me understand my feelings and thoughts. You are my squiggly 👼 angel
this video helped me so much. everything you said was so relatable for me and some things you said about gender identity and gender expression made me feel more at ease with myself. I'm a Trans guy and sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to calm myself that because I'm not "manly" enough and that I like some things typically associated with females. you are honestly the person that helps me the most when I'm feeling the most dysphoric and anxious. Ilysm
I really like this video. I have known for quite a while that I'm not heterosexual (like 20 years ) but none of the other titles or names given to sexualities have ever felt like they really fit. Gender really isn't my primary priority and this is the first time I have heard a way to say that I'm not straight that feels accurate and more authentic. Thanks for the great videos :)
i really like this video and the 80% male and 20% squiggle.. i love this! i always try to find words to describe how i identify genderwise and this fits so well?!
Thank you for making a video regarding this topic, I also can relate to this. I dont care who I fall in love with and I expressed myself naturally without taking into account the pressures society enforces on me. Im still in my teens and im Glad to say that this video really helped me. I knew how I felt and expressed myself, but I feel even more valid as a person now that I know what the word for how I feel is.
i really really liked the way you defined 'queer' as kind of straying away from societal norms and the fact that it coincides with political identity ! you put into words what i've been feeling for a really long time. but also, for me, i think the label 'queer' has always just kind of been a nice/convenient way to describe the grey area of sexual/gender identity stuff, especially the grey area that pansexual and asexual identities don't cover, which is cool
I ALSO identify as queer:D I'm attraxted to men and women. People said I'm, pansexual, bisexual, etc.. It's always been so hard for me to explain to people when they don't understand. THANK YOUUUU FOR THIIIIS BETXH❤️💯✋😭🙄🙏
That story you tell, "Oh, I thought you were gay." I'm like, "Oh no, I'm queer." And to them, queer means gay so they look at me like "But you just said you weren't gay." I'll never forget that video you made where you described the same situation and impersonated their reaction of being unable to compute haha :D It gets me every time! I like identifying as queer, it suits me in all aspects, gender identity, gender expression and sexuality. But I'm asexual as well so it gets confusing at times. Then I saw the Online Dating podcast with you and Aaron, Aaron mentioned being queer romantically and asexual sexually and that was like the penny drop in my head. IT ALL MAKES SENSE!
by definition i'm pansexual, but i prefer bisexual as a label. i'm also grey-ace and maybe grey-aro, and maaaaybe not entirely cis (i still hav a lot to figure out) and i like to use queer to kind of compile all of my sexuality and gender into one word. it also takes off some pressure to figure everything out and find the "right" labels.
Hey Chase, as a gender-nonconforming trans man who also ID's as bisexual, and who also reclaims the term queer for myself, I really appreciate that you made this video. People tend to not understand the concept of "queerness" so much, and I think explaining how it relates to YOU is a great way to get people to "get" that a little bit more. Keep up the good work!
First, I love your vids; you're always entertaining. Anyhow...I'm still trying to figure out my own gender identity (afab), I just know I'm not cis, but struggle with a lot of doubts and denial about possibly being FtM. I am also pansexual (that I am clear on). But, I do use the term queer, when I don't feel like giving details to people about my sexual orientation/gender. For example, I made a fb status the other day about an encounter at the grocery store...a man saw me in hijab (I am Muslim and currently present as female) and asked me if I'm "one of those radicals," and I wish I would have thought to say "no, they wouldn't approve of me because I'm queer." (I was too in shock to say that at the time, though). But, yeah, in that situation it would have simply meant I'm part of the lgbt+ community somehow without giving someone info that really doesn't need to know my business.
I only noticed the cats 5 minutes in and laughed so hard; you're just that charismatic I saw nothing else ;))) *poses* Grindr (lmao) And the video's so good and I relate so much! Love your channel 💜
I feel exactly the same about the term queer in almost every aspect of this video. I used to identify as bi, but I really feel a disconnect from it now even though my attraction to others hasn't changed. Since I started using the word queer, I just feel right. I don't identify with pan because even though I am attracted to all types of genders, I don't think that their personality is the only thing that matters. I don't ignore their gender, it is just a part of the person as a whole. In regards to my gender, I do differ from you. I identify as queer, but to me, that means that I feel no connect to gender or even a comprehensive understanding. I love how you used squiggle because once I heard it, I just was like "What?! That's so me though!". I don't feel like I have a gender, or it even matters in my person and that is why I do not use the term "genderqueer".
Thank you so much for talking about this. Lately I've been trying to figure myself out, what I identify as, my gender identity and expression and I had thought that maybe I was queer but know I am quite sure that in fact I am. It's good to know the other people feel like I feel. Thank you chase
Chase, I love your thinking about the word "queer". Let's not forget that queer also implies weird, odd, eccentric etc. in general. I'm really weird and eccentric (confirmed on the autism spectrum 4 years ago), and to me, queer aggregates my gender identity, sexuality, brain quirks and behavior into one glorious glowing word. I personally plan on getting queerer and queerer as time goes on, all the way to the end of time. :-)
the first time i learned that queer is/was a slur was on the internet. i'm austrian and my first language is german, and queer, being and english word, is hardly used here (except for like, queer people who know the word). and i think it's good that it's being reclaimed because 1. a lot of queer people never knew of the negative association and 2. because it's such a useful word.
This was a very interesting video, especially because I have been having issues defining myself with words lately and so I really relate to your comment that there is a level of comfort to certain words versus others. I am one who doesn't mind the word queer but I most strongly relate to being a gay man. This has been tough for me as I medically transition, because I DON'T relate all that much to the idea of "trans man"--the "trans" part being what I don't relate much to because I simply feel like an average guy, nothing special about it. However, I had a lot of mental back and forth over whether I deserved be relating as a gay man, wondering if I was a "real" man or not, those kind of thoughts. Slowly came to the realization that despite what is between my legs, what's in my mind is what matters and God knows I have always thought this way--a way most people would think of as gay. Figuring out what you associate with title-wise is a more difficult task than it seems. I called myself bisexual for a time because even though I am not attracted to non-masculine identified people I believe I could possibly fall in love with someone female if it was really the right person--but eventually I figured since the likelihood is so low that I was just plain gay. I do think your description of queer is a really good one: it's different from terms like bisexuality mostly in the societal implications it has as a violation of "normal" terminology and is therefore a great word to describe a certain level of open mindedness in a person. Anyway, I'd love to hear more on these kind of issues from you!
I love that you put this in words! I personally identify as a gay guy but I'm attracted to people with that 'Queer mindset'. Too bad I don't often meet those people, other than my friends that is...
thank you so much for talking about this. i get so much shit for saying im queer and people try to force other labels onto me even though queer makes me feel so comfortable.
I just recently properly found your chanel and and oh god do I love those 'find me on grindr', 'someone come and suck me--' and similar side comments you make in most of your videos. It makes me go "oh, you're on, wanna go" even though I live on a different continent :'D (sorry, not trying to be a creep here) But on a serious note. I really like the variety of videos you have since they really give a more throughout knowledge on ftm trans topics that you just don't get taught at school.
I identify with this so much. I feel like queer fits both my gender and my sexuality. For some reason I just never ID'd with pan or bi and always leaned towards queer, probably because like you said it kind of describes a mindset. My gender is like between agender and male and I kinda just like whoever I like. And EXACTLY like you said, I like telling people I'm queer to confuse the fuck out of them. It makes me so happy
I pretty firmly identify as pansexual, and that's partly political for me as well. Because it's got a somewhat specific definition but most people don't know what it is. I do also identify my sexuality as queer as kind of a secondary thing. (Similar to my pronouns--omg I typed pornouns wtf--they/them is primary and he/him is kind of a secondary preference at this point.) I might start openly identifying as queer in a more visible way to see how that goes. But I rarely talk about my sexuality outside of RUclips so idk.
Chase, I would love to hear your thoughts on Butler, since you mentioned her! I have an idea of why you would despise her, but maybe you could elaborate on gender performance...? I've learned about it in university but I have never heard a trans perspective on it! Educate me, please!
"I'm probably around 80% male and like 20% squiggle" The fact that you used specifically the word "squiggle" to describe that 20% makes me love you more, I'm just fascinated. Oh by the way, I identify as xenogender meaning that using a metaphor to describe my gender feels more natural to me that relationship to masculinity/feminity (it's falls under the trans non binary umbrella as well), maybe that's why using atypical word like "squiggle" when talking about gender is so fascinating to me. ^^ And I identity as bi/pan/queer whatever, I'm just attracted regardless of gender. But I tend to use more bi, because I don't have to explain the word to people and because I struggled a loooong time with internalized biphobia against myself (when I didn't even know the terms queer and pan) so reclaiming the word bi is more empowering for me.
THANK YOU!!! ive just always been so upset because i just dont fuCkIN know wtf i am. I've just stuck with the idea that if people want to know or are curious then they'll ask. And when people do ask "are you gay/straight?" i can only ever respond with "i don't knoww????¿??¿". I alway feel like if i use any of the terms straight, gay, bi, or pan that im LYING and i HATE IT. I cant really point out where i am on a spectrum because it just doesn't really work for the gender roles im attracted to. Its more like "I like green, purple, but mostly red and sometimes blue. i dont like just pink or orange or both and i dont like the whole rainbow - just these colors sometimes on occasion if they have a nice haircut" and theres just no word for it. Queer fits that best i guess -- but im still scared to use it if im honest with myself. I've been using it more online but i always hate when people assume things. I dont want people to assume that im gay and scared or that im straight and experimental or if im bi and transphobic or if im pan and a prude. UUUHHHG i just feel so confused and invalidated. I dont ever plan on coming out of the closet because it feels like i have no closet to come out of.
Bi and pan are similar in a lot of ways and get confused sometimes, and different people give different definitions for these two words. queer however is an umbrella term for everything that's not cis-hetero. It can also include culture and presentation, besides gender identity and sexuality
I'm a non binary trans guy and my sexuality is not very well known and I wish it was tbh. I'm gynesexual, meaning I'm attracted to femininity. I don't like a specific gender, just feminine people in general. So I like women (trans women too of course), feminine men (trans guys included), and feminine non binary/agender/genderqueer/etc. people. I like it because it includes gender non conforming people and isn't gender specific. I guess it could technically be pansexual? But I personally like this better because it's more specific. Like I'm not attracted to every type of person, they just have to be feminine and gender doesn't really matter. Maybe I'm just being weird and don't need a specific word but I feel more comfortable.
I also identify as queer for sexuality and gender. For me queer means united in our individuality. Everyone expressing who they are inside in their own complete unique way, together. I picture a group of people of all different parts of the spectrum of gender, expressing gender in their own unique way. To me that encompasses the fact that everyone has their own definition. I think that’s what’s being queer is.
I identify as queer in all aspects as well, mainly because growing up we are put in these boxes that define who we are and who we love. The term basically gives a great big fuck you to society and its ideals. I don't care what someone is as long as they're a decent person. And I also would say I'm 80% male 20% squiggle. Queer just feels right for me and it covers all my identities. So I feel you on all levels my man.
youtube just recommended one of your videos to me. I subbed immediately. I recently realized I was trans (FTM) and I'm also from Montreal. what are the chances.
I don't really know how I sexually identify. I'm a transman (though I like the phrase 'TBoy', despite how porny it sounds), but I really can't be sure who or what I'm sexually attracted to or any patterns thereof. Attraction and sex drive in general have been inconsistent and mostly nonexistent for me; I assume that it has something to do with my identity and body dysphoria issues. I feel like I won't know anything concrete until I get more comfortable with myself, which would probably 'free up' some of those stunted sexual feelings. The only hint I can get is all my fictional crushes and my taste in erotica; both are eclectic and all over the damned map, so ultimately how do I identify? I identify as *shrug*.
I'm so feeling you on this, especially the Tboy part. Wow, my autocorrect really doesn't like Tboy! XD I identify as pansexual although I do have some asexual tendencies which are probably due to my dysphoria, but who knows. So maybe I'm more... panromantic? But I'm also in the kink community, but I also realize that's not an inherently sexual thing as I do know someone that is straight up asexual that enjoys their kink. So... Maybe it's easier to call myself a queer holosexual(no, that's not a typo) and move on with life! XD Random side note, I love your screen name thingy!
Kyoku Pendergast *looks up holosexual* Not a complete day if I don't learn a new sexuality term, is it? And here I thought I might lose some people if i busted out the term 'fictophile' and said fictional crushes were the only ones I'd ever had.
Ok, I am wondering how did you put your cat wall? Is it one big sheet or individual pictures? (I know this has nothing to do with the topic of the video) :)
I do personally find the word hurtful still, I was bullied for my sexuality a lot in high school, and I don't know if it's a UK thing (a lot more people also feel this way about the q-word in the UK) but yeah I was called the q-word and physically bullied as well. I'm fine with people identifying as it (I mean it's not really for me to object to that??) but I do hate it being used as a community identifier when that includes me. I am adamantly not q-word, I don't like to be called q-word, I associate the word with a lot of violence directed at me so I'm baffled when people won't respect I don't like being included as q-word. So I'm glad you addressed that. It seems similar to how you feel about _that word_ , I won't say it's the same of course but comparable. I'm rambling (and replying to a really old video, I know), but online I use a word replace even to switch the q-word with a word that evokes nice things to me. The point I was trying and have rambled and failed to reach was wondering if you be offended by people avoiding saying the word if it causes them discomfort? Like I literally can't say it as of right now, the best I can comfortably do is say "q-word". I guess what I'm asking is if it's offensive to say "q-word" rather than _q-word_ if it ever comes up?
Chase you said queer 47 times ( pleas someone check this). I also identify as queer it's mostly because to me the word queer is just so bored in its definitions that it just fits me better. I'm a pan-romantic asexual who is gender non-binary but presents as female ( stealth for days). So queer fits. It's also shorter and I don't have to explain myself ( I like to mess with people too). I also like to say I'm the holy trinity of queer. Labels aren't really my thing so I like the "umbrella term" feeling of queer. It is very good that you mentioned that it is not polite to label people as queer just because they do not fit within society's norms. Looking forward to the next video. May you all be cute, safe, and wonderful.
im gay But i don't identify with making up or finding labels to over specify my sexuality... Every person gay or straight or bi could be broken down into smaller & smaller sexual categorizes... but i feel that's a more healthy topic for the people in sexual relationships not for a social movement. Gays Lesbians are still being persecuted in some parts of our world... I am so thankful for our culture that lets us use & make up as many words as we want, to identify with & the freedom to live out what what ever we believe the word may mean.
I think my identity and sexual orientation has shifted alot more than my gender expression has. I always knew I was male, I like to tell people that my soul has always been male because it wasn't something that could be explained logically as to why I'm not Cisgender and 'like everyone else' But in regard to my identity and sexual orientation it has shifted from bisexual to pansexual and now I'm more settled on Queer mostly because of the way in which society treats the word pansexual. Pansexual has almost become some kind of joke, not so much stigmatised as Bisexuality, but the word itself is taken the piss out of. So I think I'm more comfortable with Queer but it's a new part to me or rather a new shift to me!~
You have sun an amazing face. The colour of your hair works perfectly with your eyes and the piercings add just the right amount of sharpness. I got here by chance and stayed (one for you mentioned books :) and two your face! :)
I've lived in a few rough areas and I think the main reason I have a problem with the word "queer" is because it was always used in such a bad way, like no matter what the situation was, if something didn't get exactly right one of the other kids would call you a queer and hold you while someone else punched you in the face, that happened to me a lot for being trans they assumed I was lesbian instead (I'm not even attracted to girls so jokes on them haha) anyway I think it's good you found something to describe you best fit and that you feel comfortable with
I id as queer because of a few reasons... A) When I came out as nonbinary/gender neutral, people kept saying I could no longer use the term gay/lesbian as an identifier, and B) It is just a nice neutral description of my sexuality.
Benefits to identifying with the word "queer": If you aren't quite sure where on the spectrum of things you fall (gender identity, sexuality, etc) like me, but know you definitely aren't straight/cis then you can still have a label if that's something that concerns you, while also still being able to be on a broad enough label that you don't feel a need to rush to figure out specifics. I know I'm trans, I'm still struggling to find where on the trans masculine spectrum I fall. I also know I like women, but sometimes those lil curiosities pop up (you know what I'm talking about), so I don't like to identify as strictly straight, or strictly as a trans male or non binary. If I am in a situation where these things come up, I can say that yes, I am queer, and not feel as much of a need to explain further what that means, or mold myself to certain behaviors and such that might come with more specific labels.
I am mainly attracted to men and identified as gay for a long time but saying it out loud and telling my friends started to feel weird but I knew I wasn’t Bi, Pan, or Straight. So I started to call/ identify myself as Queer since it is vague but also specific enough to describe my sexuality
I actually don't mind the word queer. Like I would refer to myself that way, and I believe I have in the past as well. Though lately I've referred to myself as panromantic, but I feel queer might actually be better only because similarly I just don't care it's whatever. That and I like that there is no set definition which gives you some wiggle room lol.
While, from my icon, you can see that I also identify on the asexual spectrum, I like queer as a word to describe my sexual orientation and also, to some extent, my gender, because I don't feel that any other word quite emcompases my experience perfectly, (although I would probably say I'm non-binary and/or genderfluid). Some people might not like that word to describe themselves, and that's fine, but I don't feel like it's such a bad word unless it's used for negativity.
my gender identity and expression has been all over the spectrum, but now I've basically settled on different types of "male". today, I'm a ~*BOI*~ in big lacey pastel letters :p
I sort of relate because people often call me a lesbian but I insist on 'gay' because it's just more open to interpretation/definition and isn't limited to female gender identity
I love your vid, I like your explanation of queer, but my gay and strait friend don't. Yours is more on my lines, who cares, if I love someone, why the heck not! Thank you for more clarification, I'm still learning and I'm 39!
I used to label myself as a Straight Ally, but when I saw a video of a RUclipsr coming out as aro-ace and her experience of not having any romantic feelings and stuff, it made me rethink about myself. I never had any romantic feelings for anyone, sure I had a few crushes but that didn't last long. I thought maybe I just haven't meet the right guy to fall for or something. I do have guy friends, including my best friend who is a guy, but it's nothing more than a platonic relationship. I really haven't thought of being in a relationship or not cause I've never been in one. So I don't really know what to identify myself at the moment. In other words I identify myself as Queer.
I love the word queer, as long as someone in the community is calling me it. if a cishetero calls me queer I physically flinch. But I am definitely queer. To make it easy on others, I am out as a transguy, but really I'm a demiguy - part guy part agender (i think). the amount of each fluctuates often, though. also, I am asexual panromantic but I sum that up as queer, as well. it is easier for me to sum myself up as queer than say I am asexual panromantic and a demiboy, and then have to explain all of that. speaking of, how do i politely tell someone who thinks I am their queer dictionary/encyclopedia to just google it? Like, it gets tiring explaining things, and trying to get them to understand the more subtle things... ugh. Thank you for making this video, though. I shared it on my facebook to hopefully help educate my "friends" as to why I refer to myself as queer.
I like using the most specific labels for myself that I can find, but sometimes those labels don't really... exist? So even though I identify with a lot of terms, "queer" encompasses everything so much better than anything else, especially when it comes to my gender identity. Obviously the word shouldn't be a blanket term for everyone and everything in the lgbtq community, but I like using it as a blanket term for myself and all of the ways I'm not cishet.
I started using the word queer to generalise my sexual and gender identity. When I go into detail I use the keywords asexual and panromantic to categorise the attraction part for better understanding. However concerning gender I'm still very uncertain. To use your words (and tbh those are perfect) I'm about 50% male, 49% squiggle and maybe 1% female although that part makes me rather uncomfortable... Also: my definition for queer is "(a person) identifying and expressing themselves outside of cis- and hetero-normative standards." (I apologise bc this could be frased better but english isn't my first language...) One other reason why I like the word queer a lot is because my sexual identity has gone through a lot of changes and, therefore, lables. I'm not happy with who I am right now so what I identify as currently may or my not be temporarily. However, the term queer will definitely stay the same because a turn of events that makes me a straight cis-gender woman is highly improbable.
I use the word queer to encompass the total fluctuating mess that is my identity. I've come to the conclusion that I'm agender, and I present more masc than I do femme (I'm afab), and I wish to get top surgery someday. As for romantic/sexual identity, I'm asexual. I used to interchangeably ID as biromantic/panromantic,but now I've realized that that was mostly aesthetic attraction. and I have very little, romantic drive, outside of entertaining fantasies of holding that person's hand and going for coffee, and I've never been able to pick up on when people were flirting with me. I'm still trying to figure out if I'm on the arospec or not.
I think all our identities are a fluctuating mess! (Brilliant way of putting it)! Yeah queer had that ability to not be pigeon holed and has an element of leeway. x
I too love the ambiguity of the term queer, but what makes me prefer the term pansexual for myself is that I feel that pansexual is a genderblind attraction whereas bi/queer/etc. emphasize gender identity inclusivity. For me, I'd use queer as an umbrella term mostly. 🐝
Omg I love using the term queer! I usually pass as female, I'm fine with she/her pronouns and I'm almost exclusively attracted to women. However, I see my gender as very fluid so I don't like using "gay" or "lesbian" because those are terms that identify people who are binary. Like, a "lesbian" is a woman attracted only to other women, but I don't feel completely like a woman. I love "queer" because it allows me to avoid binary definitions
I identify as ftm and I always say I don't want a label for my sexuality (tbh I'm rly confused about it)but I always feel like I'm to feminine to be male because I love Boybands and I don't know what to do :(
i identify as pansexual for some reason i dont even know im 21 ive only just comeout its a wild time right now hahaha!! just identify as whatever because who needs sexuality roles haha! ps im a cis girl and i love your videos x
I also identify as queer. There was a lady that literally fussed me out when I said I was queer because she said it was offensive. I wasn't sure why she was offended though when she's a straight cis female. Beats me
I actually call myself queer just because I don't really feel like I fit into just one term when it comes to sexuality. I may not care who I fall in love with, but I don't feel like pansexual fits me as a person
I guess my biggest issue with this way of thinking is that I feel like because it can mean literally anything that makes it so that it actually means nothing at all.
I believe, since you mentioned counting in front of a human with autism (me), that you said the word queer 34 times. I didn't double-check my count, though.
![FTM TOXIC MASCULINITY [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/whhHMNBhDJU/mqdefault.jpg)
![FTM TOXIC MASCULINITY [CC]](/img/tr.png)
![BISEXUAL vs. QUEER (ft. ALAYNA FENDER) [CC]](/img/1.gif)
I also identify as queer, although I don't mind the term pansexual. Queer just sounds better to me, and I feel more comfortable within that label (if that makes sense). My sexuality is also feels pretty fluid, and queer gives me tons of wiggle room bc I can define it myself.
Same for me and being pan.
yeah same I relate
I'm gay but I identified as pansexual for a while, and I feel like queer sounds much more casual and pansexual sounds more clinical. It's like homosexual/gay or heterosexual/straight, but if you're pansexual the only other was to say it is pan, which is basically the same word.
Your sexuality might change again.
I feel the exact same
this is p much how I feel. I used to identify as Pansexual, but I grew uncomfortable putting a label on myself. Queer has such a wider aspect to it and I am the most comfortable calling myself that
Also there is sort of a mystery aspect to it.
Im still finding my sexuality and I am falling towards queer | I feel pansexual like you, sometimes asexual because I don't wanna have a sexual intercourse, sometimes bisexual all at the same time.
THIS! THIS IS IT
I identify as Queer, when I told my mom she said (and still does sometimes):''You are just a Questionmark" she thinks she is funny...
Keep being you! ❤️
Olddrunk Guy Why are you even here?
That's not you.
im really happy you took the time to explain this! i relate a lot to the whole "80% man 20% squiggle" thing. im still very confused about my gender and i know i want to transition later in life (i dont at all identify as female) but i dont feel i fully identify as male either? but i dont like the term nonbinary for me personally, and trans man is okay, but after watching this im starting to warm up to the idea of identifying my gender as "queer" especially since ive always seen it more used to sexuality. also, thank you for the captions! that really helps me out too!
Same. Like when I was 7 or 8, I painted my own nails with red blue, and purple. I loved the way they looked, but got rid of them because at the time everyone called me a tomboy and I didn't want to be bullied. Tbh, I'd love to now, but I came out to my friends/school at the end of last year (literally on the last day of school :P) and I'm not 100% sure how some of them feel. We have some event coming up soon and that will be the 1st time I've seen any of them in 3 months (so anti-social lol). Might later this year though.
I also recently dyed part of my hair (the tips of it) red. I guess it's my way of "painting my nails" without actually doing it.
dexter wolfe you ethier have a penis or vagina end of discussion
I identify as queer but if I HAD to pin point it in a way I would say I'm pan.I would date someone no matter what they identify but in terms of who I am physically/aesthetically attracted to,that changes.I can be attracted to any gender but some days I'm like"men are so attractive omfg biggest gay right here"but the next day or week,whatever it flips"women are so adorable I love them so much"but other times I am equally attracted to them.I feel like identifying as queer allows for that fluidity.
@abc xyz fuck off
You are honestly one of the most open, funny and helpful trans man on RUclips! Just started watching your channel and have already subscribed and watched about 50 videos. Love you xx
This video literally sums up my thoughts and feelings exactly. Glad you made a point to mention not to ascribe a label to someone unless they've expressed that they identify with it, I feel like that's something a lot of people overlook these days.
the 80/20 gender split is exactly how i feel, and while i also identify as male i don't identify as fully male, but also not nonbinary either. having that "squiggle" space is very freeing to me but often gets me confused as to whether im """really""" male or not. im pretty feminine in societal ideas (i like soft things and pink and glitter) but my presentation and identity are definitely more masculine, although those too have a little bit of "squiggle" to them.
that being said, since identifying as a gay guy i've felt SO much more comfortable with myself. I used to think I was pan/bi but i think it stemmed from compulsory heterosexuality and i now realize i really only like women aesthetically. i would also date nonbinary people tho but i still feel the most comfortable calling myself gay.
+Týr You can't tell them how they see other genders. You can't just avoid thinking about how you identify, so let them express that part of themselves freely.
46 times, you said queer 46 times (yep i counted it)
it might make a fun drinking game lol
Plz dont make that a drinking game... you'll DIE😂😂
I identify as queer because I feel as though it encompases both my sexual/romantic orientarion and my gender expression in a way that doesn't spark a whole "that doesn't exist!!" debate, so I guess it feels safer for me when talking to people in general idk plus it just feels right
new word; "orientarion" because apparently I can't type okay
Sooo so so so nice to hear someone else who has such an astoundingly similar sense of self as me. I used to identify as pan before I knew about the concept of queer, and it's the most perfect, comfortable word for me.
thanks for making this video chase! I ID as bi but I will describe myself as "queer" every now and again, sometimes it makes me feel a little more a part of the rainbow community if that makes any sense. I always like to hear people's reasons for using/not using queer as an identifier because everyone has such different answers and it's a nice reminder that there are so many wonderful unique people in our community ☺️ much love to you! 💕
Thank you so much Chase! After watching your videos my boyfriend declared that I've been so frustrated with my identity because I'm 100% squiggle and didn't know 😂😅 but really, all kidding aside, thank you for helping me understand my feelings and thoughts. You are my squiggly 👼 angel
Hey, Chase! Would you mind linking some of the books you mentioned? :)
I could honestly listen to you talk all day! I love to hear your thoughts on everything, it's so interesting to me
this video helped me so much. everything you said was so relatable for me and some things you said about gender identity and gender expression made me feel more at ease with myself. I'm a Trans guy and sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to calm myself that because I'm not "manly" enough and that I like some things typically associated with females. you are honestly the person that helps me the most when I'm feeling the most dysphoric and anxious. Ilysm
You're trans enough, yah cutie. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise c:
Me too!
I really like this video. I have known for quite a while that I'm not heterosexual (like 20 years ) but none of the other titles or names given to sexualities have ever felt like they really fit. Gender really isn't my primary priority and this is the first time I have heard a way to say that I'm not straight that feels accurate and more authentic. Thanks for the great videos :)
i really like this video and the 80% male and 20% squiggle.. i love this! i always try to find words to describe how i identify genderwise and this fits so well?!
Thank you for making a video regarding this topic, I also can relate to this. I dont care who I fall in love with and I expressed myself naturally without taking into account the pressures society enforces on me. Im still in my teens and im Glad to say that this video really helped me. I knew how I felt and expressed myself, but I feel even more valid as a person now that I know what the word for how I feel is.
"I also really like this word because it kind of fucks with people" - I LOVE your attitude towards this :D
i really really liked the way you defined 'queer' as kind of straying away from societal norms and the fact that it coincides with political identity ! you put into words what i've been feeling for a really long time. but also, for me, i think the label 'queer' has always just kind of been a nice/convenient way to describe the grey area of sexual/gender identity stuff, especially the grey area that pansexual and asexual identities don't cover, which is cool
I ALSO identify as queer:D I'm attraxted to men and women. People said I'm, pansexual, bisexual, etc.. It's always been so hard for me to explain to people when they don't understand. THANK YOUUUU FOR THIIIIS BETXH❤️💯✋😭🙄🙏
THIS video makes me incredibly happy because you put into words everything that I couldn't thank you so so much
That story you tell, "Oh, I thought you were gay." I'm like, "Oh no, I'm queer." And to them, queer means gay so they look at me like "But you just said you weren't gay."
I'll never forget that video you made where you described the same situation and impersonated their reaction of being unable to compute haha :D It gets me every time!
I like identifying as queer, it suits me in all aspects, gender identity, gender expression and sexuality. But I'm asexual as well so it gets confusing at times. Then I saw the Online Dating podcast with you and Aaron, Aaron mentioned being queer romantically and asexual sexually and that was like the penny drop in my head. IT ALL MAKES SENSE!
Does anyonehave have a link to that video? It sounds hilarious but I don't want to dig through a bunch to find it.
I have a mission today, IMMA FIND YOU THAT LINK! :D
+MoonLover 😂 thanks, have fun binge watching
so i can finally relate because it explains how i feel thank god please keep making videos like this it'll help a lot of people
by definition i'm pansexual, but i prefer bisexual as a label. i'm also grey-ace and maybe grey-aro, and maaaaybe not entirely cis (i still hav a lot to figure out) and i like to use queer to kind of compile all of my sexuality and gender into one word. it also takes off some pressure to figure everything out and find the "right" labels.
Oh mood.
Hey Chase, as a gender-nonconforming trans man who also ID's as bisexual, and who also reclaims the term queer for myself, I really appreciate that you made this video. People tend to not understand the concept of "queerness" so much, and I think explaining how it relates to YOU is a great way to get people to "get" that a little bit more. Keep up the good work!
Literally same to everything! You put my thoughts into words :)
First, I love your vids; you're always entertaining. Anyhow...I'm still trying to figure out my own gender identity (afab), I just know I'm not cis, but struggle with a lot of doubts and denial about possibly being FtM. I am also pansexual (that I am clear on). But, I do use the term queer, when I don't feel like giving details to people about my sexual
orientation/gender. For example, I made a fb status the other day about an encounter at the grocery store...a man saw me in hijab (I am Muslim and currently present as female) and asked me if I'm "one of those radicals," and I wish I would have thought to say "no, they wouldn't approve of me because I'm queer." (I was too in shock to say that at the time, though). But, yeah, in that situation it would have simply meant I'm part of the lgbt+ community somehow without giving someone info that really doesn't need to know my business.
I only noticed the cats 5 minutes in and laughed so hard; you're just that charismatic I saw nothing else ;))) *poses* Grindr (lmao) And the video's so good and I relate so much! Love your channel 💜
I feel exactly the same about the term queer in almost every aspect of this video. I used to identify as bi, but I really feel a disconnect from it now even though my attraction to others hasn't changed. Since I started using the word queer, I just feel right. I don't identify with pan because even though I am attracted to all types of genders, I don't think that their personality is the only thing that matters. I don't ignore their gender, it is just a part of the person as a whole.
In regards to my gender, I do differ from you. I identify as queer, but to me, that means that I feel no connect to gender or even a comprehensive understanding. I love how you used squiggle because once I heard it, I just was like "What?! That's so me though!". I don't feel like I have a gender, or it even matters in my person and that is why I do not use the term "genderqueer".
Thank you so much for talking about this.
Lately I've been trying to figure myself out, what I identify as, my gender identity and expression and I had thought that maybe I was queer but know I am quite sure that in fact I am.
It's good to know the other people feel like I feel.
Thank you chase
That other people feel like I feel* lol
Chase, I love your thinking about the word "queer". Let's not forget that queer also implies weird, odd, eccentric etc. in general. I'm really weird and eccentric (confirmed on the autism spectrum 4 years ago), and to me, queer aggregates my gender identity, sexuality, brain quirks and behavior into one glorious glowing word. I personally plan on getting queerer and queerer as time goes on, all the way to the end of time. :-)
the first time i learned that queer is/was a slur was on the internet. i'm austrian and my first language is german, and queer, being and english word, is hardly used here (except for like, queer people who know the word). and i think it's good that it's being reclaimed because 1. a lot of queer people never knew of the negative association and 2. because it's such a useful word.
This was a very interesting video, especially because I have been having issues defining myself with words lately and so I really relate to your comment that there is a level of comfort to certain words versus others. I am one who doesn't mind the word queer but I most strongly relate to being a gay man. This has been tough for me as I medically transition, because I DON'T relate all that much to the idea of "trans man"--the "trans" part being what I don't relate much to because I simply feel like an average guy, nothing special about it. However, I had a lot of mental back and forth over whether I deserved be relating as a gay man, wondering if I was a "real" man or not, those kind of thoughts. Slowly came to the realization that despite what is between my legs, what's in my mind is what matters and God knows I have always thought this way--a way most people would think of as gay. Figuring out what you associate with title-wise is a more difficult task than it seems. I called myself bisexual for a time because even though I am not attracted to non-masculine identified people I believe I could possibly fall in love with someone female if it was really the right person--but eventually I figured since the likelihood is so low that I was just plain gay. I do think your description of queer is a really good one: it's different from terms like bisexuality mostly in the societal implications it has as a violation of "normal" terminology and is therefore a great word to describe a certain level of open mindedness in a person. Anyway, I'd love to hear more on these kind of issues from you!
i totally feel this, in terms of gender and sexuality :0 thanks for the vid :)
I love that you put this in words! I personally identify as a gay guy but I'm attracted to people with that 'Queer mindset'. Too bad I don't often meet those people, other than my friends that is...
thank you so much for talking about this. i get so much shit for saying im queer and people try to force other labels onto me even though queer makes me feel so comfortable.
About the gender identity: I feel exactly the same right now, and it's so good to hear you say that!
I just recently properly found your chanel and and oh god do I love those 'find me on grindr', 'someone come and suck me--' and similar side comments you make in most of your videos. It makes me go "oh, you're on, wanna go" even though I live on a different continent :'D (sorry, not trying to be a creep here)
But on a serious note. I really like the variety of videos you have since they really give a more throughout knowledge on ftm trans topics that you just don't get taught at school.
Chase, was the video you were thinking of at the beginning Sexuality Island from Transtastic?
I identify with this so much. I feel like queer fits both my gender and my sexuality. For some reason I just never ID'd with pan or bi and always leaned towards queer, probably because like you said it kind of describes a mindset. My gender is like between agender and male and I kinda just like whoever I like. And EXACTLY like you said, I like telling people I'm queer to confuse the fuck out of them. It makes me so happy
"I'm probably 80% man, 20% squiggle" me too honestly
I pretty firmly identify as pansexual, and that's partly political for me as well. Because it's got a somewhat specific definition but most people don't know what it is. I do also identify my sexuality as queer as kind of a secondary thing. (Similar to my pronouns--omg I typed pornouns wtf--they/them is primary and he/him is kind of a secondary preference at this point.) I might start openly identifying as queer in a more visible way to see how that goes. But I rarely talk about my sexuality outside of RUclips so idk.
Chase, I would love to hear your thoughts on Butler, since you mentioned her! I have an idea of why you would despise her, but maybe you could elaborate on gender performance...? I've learned about it in university but I have never heard a trans perspective on it! Educate me, please!
"I'm probably around 80% male and like 20% squiggle" The fact that you used specifically the word "squiggle" to describe that 20% makes me love you more, I'm just fascinated. Oh by the way, I identify as xenogender meaning that using a metaphor to describe my gender feels more natural to me that relationship to masculinity/feminity (it's falls under the trans non binary umbrella as well), maybe that's why using atypical word like "squiggle" when talking about gender is so fascinating to me. ^^
And I identity as bi/pan/queer whatever, I'm just attracted regardless of gender. But I tend to use more bi, because I don't have to explain the word to people and because I struggled a loooong time with internalized biphobia against myself (when I didn't even know the terms queer and pan) so reclaiming the word bi is more empowering for me.
THANK YOU!!! ive just always been so upset because i just dont fuCkIN know wtf i am. I've just stuck with the idea that if people want to know or are curious then they'll ask. And when people do ask "are you gay/straight?" i can only ever respond with "i don't knoww????¿??¿". I alway feel like if i use any of the terms straight, gay, bi, or pan that im LYING and i HATE IT. I cant really point out where i am on a spectrum because it just doesn't really work for the gender roles im attracted to. Its more like "I like green, purple, but mostly red and sometimes blue. i dont like just pink or orange or both and i dont like the whole rainbow - just these colors sometimes on occasion if they have a nice haircut" and theres just no word for it. Queer fits that best i guess -- but im still scared to use it if im honest with myself. I've been using it more online but i always hate when people assume things. I dont want people to assume that im gay and scared or that im straight and experimental or if im bi and transphobic or if im pan and a prude. UUUHHHG i just feel so confused and invalidated. I dont ever plan on coming out of the closet because it feels like i have no closet to come out of.
Isn’t pan, queer, and bisexual the same? I honestly don’t care what you call yourself, but they all just seem the same to me.
Bi and pan are similar in a lot of ways and get confused sometimes, and different people give different definitions for these two words. queer however is an umbrella term for everything that's not cis-hetero. It can also include culture and presentation, besides gender identity and sexuality
I'm a non binary trans guy and my sexuality is not very well known and I wish it was tbh. I'm gynesexual, meaning I'm attracted to femininity. I don't like a specific gender, just feminine people in general. So I like women (trans women too of course), feminine men (trans guys included), and feminine non binary/agender/genderqueer/etc. people. I like it because it includes gender non conforming people and isn't gender specific. I guess it could technically be pansexual? But I personally like this better because it's more specific. Like I'm not attracted to every type of person, they just have to be feminine and gender doesn't really matter. Maybe I'm just being weird and don't need a specific word but I feel more comfortable.
I also identify as queer for sexuality and gender. For me queer means united in our individuality. Everyone expressing who they are inside in their own complete unique way, together. I picture a group of people of all different parts of the spectrum of gender, expressing gender in their own unique way. To me that encompasses the fact that everyone has their own definition. I think that’s what’s being queer is.
I identify as queer in all aspects as well, mainly because growing up we are put in these boxes that define who we are and who we love. The term basically gives a great big fuck you to society and its ideals. I don't care what someone is as long as they're a decent person. And I also would say I'm 80% male 20% squiggle. Queer just feels right for me and it covers all my identities. So I feel you on all levels my man.
Whenever I hear your intro song it makes me so happy haha
youtube just recommended one of your videos to me. I subbed immediately. I recently realized I was trans (FTM) and I'm also from Montreal. what are the chances.
I don't really know how I sexually identify. I'm a transman (though I like the phrase 'TBoy', despite how porny it sounds), but I really can't be sure who or what I'm sexually attracted to or any patterns thereof. Attraction and sex drive in general have been inconsistent and mostly nonexistent for me; I assume that it has something to do with my identity and body dysphoria issues. I feel like I won't know anything concrete until I get more comfortable with myself, which would probably 'free up' some of those stunted sexual feelings.
The only hint I can get is all my fictional crushes and my taste in erotica; both are eclectic and all over the damned map, so ultimately how do I identify? I identify as *shrug*.
Same, I feel you man.
Fenn Ciel Cool, good to know I'm not some emotionally broken anomaly.
+MoonShadowWolfe yeah, haha, it is a relief.
I'm so feeling you on this, especially the Tboy part. Wow, my autocorrect really doesn't like Tboy! XD
I identify as pansexual although I do have some asexual tendencies which are probably due to my dysphoria, but who knows. So maybe I'm more... panromantic? But I'm also in the kink community, but I also realize that's not an inherently sexual thing as I do know someone that is straight up asexual that enjoys their kink. So... Maybe it's easier to call myself a queer holosexual(no, that's not a typo) and move on with life! XD
Random side note, I love your screen name thingy!
Kyoku Pendergast *looks up holosexual* Not a complete day if I don't learn a new sexuality term, is it? And here I thought I might lose some people if i busted out the term 'fictophile' and said fictional crushes were the only ones I'd ever had.
Thank you so much for the captions
Ok, I am wondering how did you put your cat wall? Is it one big sheet or individual pictures?
(I know this has nothing to do with the topic of the video) :)
You’re so funny and eloquent. Thanks for the video :)
I do personally find the word hurtful still, I was bullied for my sexuality a lot in high school, and I don't know if it's a UK thing (a lot more people also feel this way about the q-word in the UK) but yeah I was called the q-word and physically bullied as well. I'm fine with people identifying as it (I mean it's not really for me to object to that??) but I do hate it being used as a community identifier when that includes me. I am adamantly not q-word, I don't like to be called q-word, I associate the word with a lot of violence directed at me so I'm baffled when people won't respect I don't like being included as q-word. So I'm glad you addressed that. It seems similar to how you feel about _that word_ , I won't say it's the same of course but comparable.
I'm rambling (and replying to a really old video, I know), but online I use a word replace even to switch the q-word with a word that evokes nice things to me. The point I was trying and have rambled and failed to reach was wondering if you be offended by people avoiding saying the word if it causes them discomfort? Like I literally can't say it as of right now, the best I can comfortably do is say "q-word". I guess what I'm asking is if it's offensive to say "q-word" rather than _q-word_ if it ever comes up?
Chase you said queer 47 times ( pleas someone check this). I also identify as queer it's mostly because to me the word queer is just so bored in its definitions that it just fits me better. I'm a pan-romantic asexual who is gender non-binary but presents as female ( stealth for days). So queer fits. It's also shorter and I don't have to explain myself ( I like to mess with people too). I also like to say I'm the holy trinity of queer. Labels aren't really my thing so I like the "umbrella term" feeling of queer. It is very good that you mentioned that it is not polite to label people as queer just because they do not fit within society's norms. Looking forward to the next video. May you all be cute, safe, and wonderful.
Currently reading Judith Butler for class and when you dissed her I couldn't help but snort.
im gay But i don't identify with making up or finding labels to over specify my sexuality... Every person gay or straight or bi could be broken down into smaller & smaller sexual categorizes... but i feel that's a more healthy topic for the people in sexual relationships not for a social movement. Gays Lesbians are still being persecuted in some parts of our world... I am so thankful for our culture that lets us use & make up as many words as we want, to identify with & the freedom to live out what what ever we believe the word may mean.
I think my identity and sexual orientation has shifted alot more than my gender expression has.
I always knew I was male, I like to tell people that my soul has always been male because it wasn't something that could be explained logically as to why I'm not Cisgender and 'like everyone else' But in regard to my identity and sexual orientation it has shifted from bisexual to pansexual and now I'm more settled on Queer mostly because of the way in which society treats the word pansexual.
Pansexual has almost become some kind of joke, not so much stigmatised as Bisexuality, but the word itself is taken the piss out of.
So I think I'm more comfortable with Queer but it's a new part to me or rather a new shift to me!~
You have sun an amazing face. The colour of your hair works perfectly with your eyes and the piercings add just the right amount of sharpness. I got here by chance and stayed (one for you mentioned books :) and two your face! :)
Thank you I needed this video ❤️
Eeee I love this!! I identify as queer and am Asexual! Thank you for this!
I've lived in a few rough areas and I think the main reason I have a problem with the word "queer" is because it was always used in such a bad way, like no matter what the situation was, if something didn't get exactly right one of the other kids would call you a queer and hold you while someone else punched you in the face, that happened to me a lot for being trans they assumed I was lesbian instead (I'm not even attracted to girls so jokes on them haha) anyway I think it's good you found something to describe you best fit and that you feel comfortable with
I identify as unidentifiable so no matter what anyone calls me, I can still be offended.
I id as queer because of a few reasons... A) When I came out as nonbinary/gender neutral, people kept saying I could no longer use the term gay/lesbian as an identifier, and B) It is just a nice neutral description of my sexuality.
Benefits to identifying with the word "queer": If you aren't quite sure where on the spectrum of things you fall (gender identity, sexuality, etc) like me, but know you definitely aren't straight/cis then you can still have a label if that's something that concerns you, while also still being able to be on a broad enough label that you don't feel a need to rush to figure out specifics. I know I'm trans, I'm still struggling to find where on the trans masculine spectrum I fall. I also know I like women, but sometimes those lil curiosities pop up (you know what I'm talking about), so I don't like to identify as strictly straight, or strictly as a trans male or non binary. If I am in a situation where these things come up, I can say that yes, I am queer, and not feel as much of a need to explain further what that means, or mold myself to certain behaviors and such that might come with more specific labels.
I am mainly attracted to men and identified as gay for a long time but saying it out loud and telling my friends started to feel weird but I knew I wasn’t Bi, Pan, or Straight. So I started to call/ identify myself as Queer since it is vague but also specific enough to describe my sexuality
I actually don't mind the word queer. Like I would refer to myself that way, and I believe I have in the past as well. Though lately I've referred to myself as panromantic, but I feel queer might actually be better only because similarly I just don't care it's whatever. That and I like that there is no set definition which gives you some wiggle room lol.
While, from my icon, you can see that I also identify on the asexual spectrum, I like queer as a word to describe my sexual orientation and also, to some extent, my gender, because I don't feel that any other word quite emcompases my experience perfectly, (although I would probably say I'm non-binary and/or genderfluid). Some people might not like that word to describe themselves, and that's fine, but I don't feel like it's such a bad word unless it's used for negativity.
my gender identity and expression has been all over the spectrum, but now I've basically settled on different types of "male". today, I'm a ~*BOI*~ in big lacey pastel letters :p
I sort of relate because people often call me a lesbian but I insist on 'gay' because it's just more open to interpretation/definition and isn't limited to female gender identity
I love your vid, I like your explanation of queer, but my gay and strait friend don't. Yours is more on my lines, who cares, if I love someone, why the heck not! Thank you for more clarification, I'm still learning and I'm 39!
I used to label myself as a Straight Ally, but when I saw a video of a RUclipsr coming out as aro-ace and her experience of not having any romantic feelings and stuff, it made me rethink about myself.
I never had any romantic feelings for anyone, sure I had a few crushes but that didn't last long. I thought maybe I just haven't meet the right guy to fall for or something. I do have guy friends, including my best friend who is a guy, but it's nothing more than a platonic relationship. I really haven't thought of being in a relationship or not cause I've never been in one.
So I don't really know what to identify myself at the moment.
In other words I identify myself as Queer.
I love the word queer, as long as someone in the community is calling me it. if a cishetero calls me queer I physically flinch. But I am definitely queer. To make it easy on others, I am out as a transguy, but really I'm a demiguy - part guy part agender (i think). the amount of each fluctuates often, though. also, I am asexual panromantic but I sum that up as queer, as well. it is easier for me to sum myself up as queer than say I am asexual panromantic and a demiboy, and then have to explain all of that. speaking of, how do i politely tell someone who thinks I am their queer dictionary/encyclopedia to just google it? Like, it gets tiring explaining things, and trying to get them to understand the more subtle things... ugh. Thank you for making this video, though. I shared it on my facebook to hopefully help educate my "friends" as to why I refer to myself as queer.
I like using the most specific labels for myself that I can find, but sometimes those labels don't really... exist? So even though I identify with a lot of terms, "queer" encompasses everything so much better than anything else, especially when it comes to my gender identity. Obviously the word shouldn't be a blanket term for everyone and everything in the lgbtq community, but I like using it as a blanket term for myself and all of the ways I'm not cishet.
I started using the word queer to generalise my sexual and gender identity. When I go into detail I use the keywords asexual and panromantic to categorise the attraction part for better understanding. However concerning gender I'm still very uncertain. To use your words (and tbh those are perfect) I'm about 50% male, 49% squiggle and maybe 1% female although that part makes me rather uncomfortable...
Also: my definition for queer is "(a person) identifying and expressing themselves outside of cis- and hetero-normative standards."
(I apologise bc this could be frased better but english isn't my first language...)
One other reason why I like the word queer a lot is because my sexual identity has gone through a lot of changes and, therefore, lables. I'm not happy with who I am right now so what I identify as currently may or my not be temporarily. However, the term queer will definitely stay the same because a turn of events that makes me a straight cis-gender woman is highly improbable.
Love this! 🌈 you are expressing my sentiments exactly!
You are so funny and cute and true to yourself and help so many people and you just brighten my day
I just found your channel and I love it already
I use the word queer to encompass the total fluctuating mess that is my identity. I've come to the conclusion that I'm agender, and I present more masc than I do femme (I'm afab), and I wish to get top surgery someday. As for romantic/sexual identity, I'm asexual. I used to interchangeably ID as biromantic/panromantic,but now I've realized that that was mostly aesthetic attraction. and I have very little, romantic drive, outside of entertaining fantasies of holding that person's hand and going for coffee, and I've never been able to pick up on when people were flirting with me. I'm still trying to figure out if I'm on the arospec or not.
*entertaining fantasies for all of five minutes.
I think all our identities are a fluctuating mess! (Brilliant way of putting it)! Yeah queer had that ability to not be pigeon holed and has an element of leeway. x
Ah! Thx for putting words to my thoughts of why I prefer the word queer instead of pan and bi when identifying.
I too love the ambiguity of the term queer, but what makes me prefer the term pansexual for myself is that I feel that pansexual is a genderblind attraction whereas bi/queer/etc. emphasize gender identity inclusivity. For me, I'd use queer as an umbrella term mostly. 🐝
Waiting for the "20% Squiggle" t-shirt 🐝
this is how i identify too & i'm glad i'm not alone
Omg I love using the term queer! I usually pass as female, I'm fine with she/her pronouns and I'm almost exclusively attracted to women. However, I see my gender as very fluid so I don't like using "gay" or "lesbian" because those are terms that identify people who are binary. Like, a "lesbian" is a woman attracted only to other women, but I don't feel completely like a woman. I love "queer" because it allows me to avoid binary definitions
I identify as ftm and I always say I don't want a label for my sexuality (tbh I'm rly confused about it)but I always feel like I'm to feminine to be male because I love Boybands and I don't know what to do :(
i identify as pansexual for some reason i dont even know im 21 ive only just comeout its a wild time right now hahaha!! just identify as whatever because who needs sexuality roles haha! ps im a cis girl and i love your videos x
I'm a transgender woman, I'm attracted to men and I identify as queer. It just seems to fit me better than any other term.
thank you so much, this video really helped me understand my sexuality.
once you understand it doesn't seem offensive. it fits. I like it
I also identify as queer. There was a lady that literally fussed me out when I said I was queer because she said it was offensive. I wasn't sure why she was offended though when she's a straight cis female. Beats me
You said "queer" 42 times ;)
Lmaoaoa
I actually call myself queer just because I don't really feel like I fit into just one term when it comes to sexuality. I may not care who I fall in love with, but I don't feel like pansexual fits me as a person
Advocate was the word I believe you were looking for!
I guess my biggest issue with this way of thinking is that I feel like because it can mean literally anything that makes it so that it actually means nothing at all.
I believe, since you mentioned counting in front of a human with autism (me), that you said the word queer 34 times. I didn't double-check my count, though.