The Nuke Truck
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- Опубликовано: 28 ноя 2024
- I promise I'm not a fed.
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"The appearance of U.S. Department of Defense (DoD) visual information does not imply or constitute DoD endorsement."
Views presented are my own and do not represent the views of DoD or its Components.
Nice upload fed I'm still not paying my taxes
those will be your last words 👁
If your water tastes weird tonight don't think much of it :)
A JDAM is rapidly approaching your position
What we don't care😏🤥
@@storytimewithjeff The government is never going to impeach joe biden nor obama for their crimes, but because it would require them to take more "risks" than harassing a law biding citizen. Many victims are still in prison today.
Remember, the Pulitzer is the second highest award a journalist can receive. The highest comes from the CIA.
death?
@@RJDavis-ku5ct no, cupcakes
@@RJDavis-ku5ctA pizza party
@@RJDavis-ku5ct A free trip to Bali.
@@RJDavis-ku5ct10% off your next haircut!
Every time Jeff returns, his stories somehow get stranger
Like, first it was “my college is a Soviet ghetto,” then it was “I got sent to a Government research facility,” then it was “My new apartment is toxic to non-insect life,” to finally “I drove around some nuke detectors for an internship”
Like what the heck man
he's gonna end up on mars next
@@angelofrngesus8618 can't wait for the mars vlog to come out
This is my first time coming across this channel and I have to say, this comment is a great advertisement
"I Accidentally revealed the KGB's plans for my entry-level job"
d-do you think his stories are not real?
nice helium you got their, be a shame is someone huffed the equivalent of a months wage in the time it takes to draw a taser.
SIR GET DOWN
@@storytimewithjeff [hysterical voice] i cant breathe!!
@@multiarray2320George is that you? Congratulations on your sobriety! 😂
I just imagine someone sticking the valve of a high pressure liquid helium tank in their nose
@@darksu6947 it was funny till your comment. You don't you congratulate Ashley Babbit on her sobriety while you're at it
The only thing worse than a black SUV approaching that you don't recognize is a black SUV approaching that you DO recognize
I can neither confirm nor deny this truth, but it does hit different
Like your friend who owns a black SUV? That's harsh
fuck that ford tourus
9/10 the black SUV is a Suburbian.
Shit Moms coming home! /j
this is what the CIA saw on Iraqi satellite footage thinking the trucks were Saddams WMDs.
Underrated comment
Odds they did know and just lied
No that was intentionaly faulty Intel from Israel. Speaking of which I need to send them a thank you letter for the "amazing" sun tan I got in 06, and the free college and grad school.
@@RichardHall3 100% guaranteed
They shoulda smile and waved
Years ago I picked up a Liquid helium compressor & pump, a bunch of MASSIVE butterfly valves 12-18" diameters, a rotary feedthrough,a radiation chopper, an RF plasma power supply, a pressure transducer, temp probes, a high voltage transformer and an e-beam evaporator in seperate government auction purchases over a few months. All for various different reasons, It was only once I had all of it sitting next to eachother I realized I accidentally bought almost everything neccesary to get a handful of government agencies at my door. Whoopsies. - Sidenote, handling the compressor was terrifying, I'm not a fan of dissassembling something with a 500 PSI cannister that can cause life threatening burns on the skin as well as your internals if inhaled. I thought about keeping it but I watched final destination growing up and I'm certain that thing would have leaked after a few years on a shelf and blasted me in the face.
If my designated FBI agent is reading this, I already parted most of it out - you should know that already.
Are you trying to build a condensed matter lab in your basement???
Classic mistake, could happen to anyone really
Dude I bet you’re a blast to hang out with 😂 no pun intended
What contraband could you build out of all that?
Homemade fusion chamber?
So thats where that went I knew Santa F'ed up.
You know there are actually nuke transporter trucks out there. They have solid tires, various undisclosed deployable weapons designed to continue to fight even if all crew are incapacitated, and the back door is made of 12 to 18 inches of mystery armor.
Mystery armor, my favorite!
I think I saw one once when I was younger, I thought it was just weird convoy until my dad leaned over and explained it to me
"son those are the big boom booms in the weird truck."
"ooooooh!"
Plot twist, due to budget cuts and EPA regulations it's actually 3 inches of steel and 10 inches of mystery... air.
With a 1.5in lead backstop.
That doesn't exist.
Ah yes, the liquid helium SUV. I'm sure the conversation in that van can never be serious.
jeff please stop gangstalking me
sorry, i need to pay off my tuition
Jeff are u available for a promo or ad ill pay 2k@@storytimewithjeff
I thought ur pfp was Mario and sonic at first lol
So you're the jeff with 10 nukes from that chart, i knew it!
🤫
If what I perceived to be a hostile fed smiled and waved at me I would be absolutely terrified.
Only a 40mm airdefense cannon? Weak shit we use 75mm in this house.
Millimeters are for wimps
I use my trusty 16 inch/ 50 caliber mark 7 naval cannon for home defense
Wait, you guys don’t have UAVs?
Bro, i Live inside the turret of an Iowa class BB @@JustABalrog
@@j3zzaboii152Why? I thought we all have our own arsenal birds.
Was able to get a good deal on some surplus quad 40mm Bofors turrets :)
Only a fed would say something like "a good government agency"
Tritium dosent glow. It just supply’s constant energy to either a powdered coating of phosphor, such as a glass tube filled with tritium and phosphor coating which is used for the watch faces, similar to a fluorescent bulb, or phosphor paint such as on some gun sights. It’s literally just your standard glow in the dark paint that we all had on some of our glow in the dark toys growing up, but with a constant energy source right behind it as opposed to only getting energy to glow every time it’s exposed to light
It's also how the red arrow glows on your ACOG sight (or at least how Trijicon advertises it)
@@atpyro7920 I’ve seen a couple that were advertised as tritium, at least for night. But aren’t they all still fiber optic during the day? I can’t imagine tritium being bright enough for the day
JEFF IS PART OF THE GANGSTALKERS
Same
Imagine the amounts of episodes he must have induced 😂
Did something similar with an RF truck and can confirm that „smile and wave“ is pretty effective ;)
bro thinks he's skipper
UIU-useless am I right
Literally who?
“Just smile and wave boys!”
“Smile and wave.”
KOWALSKI
STATUS REPORT
Most tritium in nuclear weapons is used to initiate the thermonuclear portion of the detonation; Lithium-6 is more stable and readily fissions when hit with a neutron to form tritium and helium, where tritium can be used for more fusion reactions.
I happen to study nuclear physics as a hobby.
Great explanation, certainly more thorough than mine!
if you know that much about nukes, try applying that irl
jeff your drawing has gotten so much better
Went down to a Lockheed Martin facility for a week and just measured things with rulers, calipers and measuring tapes. The work got a little boring, but I’m going to be paid a little extra (and get some extra leave) and I got to see some cool stuff just lying in the hallways.
Everyone needs a little bit of blood money in their pocket 💯🔥🔥💰💸💣😜
My moral compass evaporating when I see a job offer from Lockheed Martin
At first, I thought this was gonna talk about how the US transports their nukes in trucks. (Which they actually do)
given their track record of whoopsie-ing them over fields. It's probably for the best
Used to do it on trains, but they were *really* obvious with the massive white unmarked freight cars at the front and troop bunk cars on either end. Also very easy to tell where it was going, and theyd constantly get stopped by anti-nuclear/anti-war protesters. Some of the first yellowcake for the Manhattan project was also transported by steam train, one of which still exists in preservation.
@@sakaraist Or the ocean
Rest in peace Lt. Junior Grade Douglas M.Webster, still hasn't been recovered and likely never will.
Jeff, do it jiggle?
🤨
@@storytimewithjeff do it?
@@storytimewithjeffyou can't do this me, please Jeff
@@storytimewithjeff Answer the question, Jeff. We are all waiting.
@@storytimewithjeff Jeff, answer us
Smile and wave, boys, smile and wave
At 4:30, your example of a "boosted nuclear bomb" is a photo of the Mark 18, which is actually an unboosted weapon. That warhead was tested in 1952 as Ivy Mike, and at 500 kT, it was the largest pure-fission explosion that the US ever conducted (second only to the UK's Orange Herald device). It used a 92-point implosion system with multiple concentric layers of levitated natural Uranium tamper to rapidly compress a hollow sphere composed of more than one bare-sphere critical mass of U235 (60kg!) to such a high degree of super-criticality that it achieved roughly 50% fission of its U235 atoms even without boosting (versus 6.5% for the Mark 3 "Fat Man" dropped on Nagasaki).
In contrast, modern boosted fission primaries are able to wring almost 40 kT of yield from up to 80% fission of a tiny ~3 kg Plutonium pit that might otherwise produce only 1 kT of yield due to milder super-criticality. In such small pits, the reaction rate doesn't grow as quickly (milder super-criticality), and the burst of neutrons from fusion of the DT boost gas helps the reaction skip several generations of rate growth so that it can achieve a high reaction rate prior to disassembly; that's a game-changer in minimum size fission primaries. However, in the case of maximum-size fission weapons like the Mark-18, the reaction already grows very quickly, so the boost provides less relative benefit, and the greatest challenge to achieving higher efficiencies is that there's an enormous volume of U235 to be reacted, and by the time even a small fraction of that has reacted, everything is diverging at relativistic speeds. It's not clear whether boosting would have been able to improve the yield of a large fission bomb like the Mark-18. The British Orange Herald device was sorta-kinda boosted, although with LiD, which is harder to kindle and less neutronic, and Orange Herald delivered only slightly more yield from twice as much U235, implying significantly lower efficiency.
I like the word choice with "prior to dissasembly"
Thanks! :)
While "disassembly" might seems like a funny euphemism, and you are welcome to find some dark humor in it, note that it's also a precise way of thinking about nuclear weapon physics.
Disassembly is about the halting of the fission reaction, not what happens to the bomb fragments afterwards. The vast majority of an atomic bomb / fission primary's energy output is produced during the 40 to 50 nanoseconds between when fissile core first begins to expand outwards (due to the growing reaction overpowering the inward momentum of implosion) and the point at which that outward expansion renders the assembly subcritical, halting the reaction. That moment when the bomb's expansion renders it subcritical is the moment of "disassembly".
In a bomb, that 40 to 50 nanosecond time period is long enough to complete ~5 additional generations of neutrons, and with a high degree of super-criticality, that means the reaction rate can increase by at least an order of magnitude, or with a lower supercriticality (such as in a modern boosted primary w/o the boost gas), there would still be ~5 generations, but far less reaction growth. Nearly everything about the bomb's design is engineered to maximize the reaction's growth rate during that interval such that a greater fraction of the fuel can be consumed before the bomb is disassembled. The bomb is imploded to increase the Plutonium's density, simultaneously increasing the degree of supercriticality and decreasing the time between neutron generations. And modern weapons use a few grams of D+T gas to greatly accelerate the rate of neutron growth, jumping the reaction rate from the 0.1 kT scale to the 10's of kT scale much faster than fission-driven neutron doubling is able to grow. Etc.
The rejections are too relatable
nice try fed, i will continue to believe that im being stalked by aliens in the big black suvs
first he was in a soviet ghetto, then he was sent to a government research facility, next he moved into my worst nightmare possible, and now he's a fed. jeff has the best character arc possible
My man jeff, the lost pinguin of madagaskar
Guy used the word centimeter and expects us to not 1000% know he’s a fed
Tritium has the largest nuclear cross-section at a given temperature for fusion reactions, which is why it is used in nuclear weapons.
this really just shows off the effectiveness of good confidence men. Guy carrying a strange device, avoiding eye contact? Terrorist. Guy carrying strange device, smiling and waving? Your friendly neighbor.
Tangentially, I once heard a story about someone who got into a high security area because they got lost and guards kept opening doors for them. They were really tired and carrying around a coffee, and apparently that's enough to convince a guard that they're just an employee clocking in for their shift. Eventually this person realized that they had wandered somewhere they weren't supposed to be, notified a guard, and got detained for some hours. They got released because they didn't technically do anything and they even came forward with what happened. I'm sure the director of security had a stern talk with the guards' relaxed procedures after that
Bro I found you during the pandemic AP BS how did you get here 😭
High School Senior in 2020 + 4 years = College 4th year applying to grad school
It would have been easier if they just gave you orange vests and a marked car.
Way less suspicious, and it's not like you were transporting something dangerous or particularly important, so why the secrecy?
Unironically because marked cars take time to organize and renting one is cheaper to maintain and operate
@@storytimewithjeff You would think a government agency wouldn't cheap out on stuff like this 😭
Who am I kidding of course they would
@@awaitingconfirmation8406 why not? they arent carrying anything too dangerous that cant be corded off in a worst case scenario, the car is identical apart from goverment priviledge marks.
@@awaitingconfirmation8406 They chince on the cars so the state has enough money to do important research, like what kind of alcohol makes fish drunk faster.
WAKE UP BABE NEW STORYTIME WITH JEFF EPISODE DROPPED 🗣🔥🔥🔥🔥
He glows
good to see you are still alive, hope you stick around longer.
good stuff
Ok, what the hell?
"Nuclear" and "requires LN2" sounds like a HPGe, but I don't see how anything a HPGe could detect would interfere with hospital stuff or a cell tower, at least not in the amount that you'd need such a sensitive instrument to detect it.
"Radiation" and "interferes with hospital / cell phone stuff" sounds more like radio interference, and the LN2 / LHe cooled equipment might be LNAs?
But then again, that would not make it a "Nuke Truck".
So, what actually was it?
In order to not reveal non-public DoD information, not everything in these videos is true verbatim. I won’t elaborate more than that in case the feds come after me
@@storytimewithjeff I had a few raised eyebrows in this video as someone who used to work in a we’ll say related field.
@@storytimewithjeff Ohhh, so you're just making stuff up, got it.
@@Gigabecquerel bro if what he said in here was entirely real, we will never ever hear from him for like the next hundred years or so AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA
@@oscarstaszky1960 bro forget not hearing about him, my guy would be wiped off the census and expunged from national records.
I thought the story was gonna start by it being some truckers house that they just showed up to so they could ask him to drive a nuke from one facility to another
HES ALIVE AND BACK!!!!
at this rate, he won't be back for long lmao
Yayy another upload to vent my math frustrations
I dont wanna say names, but the math chair at my college basically wrote me off without barely even knowing me. Also, this was based on the first half of the first semester. I was bullied then and things r better now, but 💀
rip
I know the feeling. I spent a year working for a company called Stream that did customer service and technical support calls from Dell back in the late 90's. It was a grind as your manager had to force you to finish all calls within 15 min because they were paid by the call not quality. I feel like that experience helped me with talking with anyone about anything.
I mean seriously, if the call was going to be longer than 15 min, I had to figure it out right then AND convince the caller that we would call them back a FEW DAYS LATTER to fix their problem (within an 8 hour time frame of course). Learning how to calm down a screaming customer was easy though. It was the calls that were literally begging me not to let them go after their 5th call that got me down.
Jeff upload. I’m gonna savor this moment. Forever.
At least it wasn’t the Demon Core.
they don’t have it; i eated it
your drawing skills are actually getting better
in case anyone in curious. He's not transporting radioactive materials. They do give out paperwork for those and you do need it.
Absolutely true - they did no trust me with any nukes 💀
@@storytimewithjeff oh hello :D. Nice to see you. Very funny and relatable video. I did a summer job as a nuclear gauge technician. once i took my truck for safety inspection on the way back to put the gauge away so I got told about the fatal rust after the tech found that and was staring the giant yellow plastic box with warning labels on it down the whole time.
Damn.... I was expecting you to talk about the nuke truck that the U.S. Department of Energy uses... But now I know of two nuke trucks, so that's neat!
Please keep making videos dude this has been the only thing actually entertaining on this platform for the longest time
Return of the king
“Friendly government agency” is an oxymoron.
If the "heh well if your ideology is correct then why do I aggressively misunderstand what you actually believe?" meme was a youtuber.
As someone who also only got accepted to a singular grad program, I relate to the last part so hard
A new vid on my birthday? Satisfactory.
Happy birthday 🎂!
@@storytimewithjeff
Yuhh thank you!!
Man I remember finding this channel during quarantine and I was bummed out when you stopped uploading for a bit but It’s so cool you’re back and still telling funny stories lol
why are you drawing the detector as the apparatus from lethal company
dolphin owo
what in the world is this comment section
@@makinnirbeen lost the whole time bro. I have no idea what’s going on here. Glad I’m not alone
@@JT-nn8nj Skill issue
@@tappajaav gotta be
After spending years in the less glamourous but still story packed industries of food service, insurances sales, and tech support I'm very amused that there are yet more industries where most of your stories start with "Y'all aren't gonna believe this, but it's true..."
No really...years ago I got a call from a tech who was too high to do the installation...so he called me in front of the customer to tell me that. Or the hotels that had various "mystery fluids" that had somehow gotten INTO the wireless access points _that were on the ceiling_ and were in different rooms.
Great to find a channel like this, ya got yerself a sub sir :D
HES BACK!!
Yaaaaay!
weird that this showed up in my recommended page after talking to my dad about his own nuke truck(more of a gas truck but semantics), good video friend.
'Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave. Kowalski! Status!'
"You start to pull out your home defense 40mm Auto-Canon". I would laugh but I've had friends whose parents own dual and quad barreled .50 caliber with electro-hydraulic 360 degree turn assembly which also had the 80 plus degree tilt. Yes they had the ammo to. 2 types they made themselves (lead and solid bronze rounds) and one type they special ordered (Semi armor piercing HE). Didn't even know that last one came in anything less than 20mm. They never acted weird are crazy they just liked collecting surplus military weapons and they had all the licenses to own and operate every piece they had.
This is absolutely a nitpick and a half, but it's not the tritium _itself_ that is glowing in the products mentioned - the tritium is just acting as an energy source for the conventional phosphorescent paint. This is the same principle as the old glow-in-the-dark radium paints, although they have the advantage that tritium is less radioactive than radium and has a much shorter half-life (which does, unfortunately, mean that tritium-powered night sights and watch faces need more frequent replacement).
Also, the way boosted nuclear devices work is that, in addition to a relatively conventional fissile core (ie., hollow sphere of plutonium or uranium), you have a mixture of fusile gases (deuterium and tritium, usually) inside that core. When initiated, the compression (as well as heating from the initial fission reactions) initiates fusion in the tritium and deuterium - not enough to really add to the bomb's energy directly, but instead emitting lots of extra neutrons to ensure that more of the fissile material in the device undergoes fission.
Interesting
Good shit Jeff
8:01 "they dont I'm a microceleb". Truly one of the greatest phrases said in the history of the English language!
I swear the cylinders look like apparatuses from lethal company
Watching the opening for this as I'm having my coffee Wednesday morning before work is unsettling
YAHHHHH JEFF IS BACK
When I read the title I thought this was about how the US government moves around nuclear war heads by simi truck occasionally
3:14 I can't find any tanks above 6,000psi (~408 atmospheres, ~413.5 bar, or ~41,500 kPa), which is easily enough to be frightening. I'm surprised the wood framing stopped the brass valve lol
(Jamie & Adam of MythBusters did a standard LNG 80 tank, broke the valve, and the entire tank shot CLEAN THROUGH a cinderblock wall and embedded itself in the cinder&concrete wall behind it. They didn't even have the pressure cranked all that high either.. somewhere in the 600psi-range, iirc)
I forget exactly how high the pressure was, but the brass valve hit something else and was pretty badly deformed by the time it got stopped by the wood so that probably contributed to it not just blasting through the whole post.
I wouldnt close the book on Atrazine. Nobody except the people who make it have done any studies about its effects on animals when it pollutes the groundwater.
Well, unless you can figure out how to hurl individual molecules of it at frogs, at near-relativistic speeds, without the stuff decomposing on contact with air, it isn't radiation.
@@Ithirahad ah yes, the classic pedantry deflection tactic.
@@Swiftduck00 I'm not even trying to deflect, just making a side comment because the video creator specified "radiation", not chemicals.
@@Ithirahad my apologies for being defensive. Looking at it from that perspective that is cheeky and funny. My bad, dawg.
is that the aparatus from lethal company you traced
They really adapted the deception strategy from the penguins 😭
Is there a funny red button inside the truck incase of emergency?
This yt channel is what happens when a spy gets burned in modern times
The Smile and Waive is real. Parents taught me to do that as a child (passenger) when looking for houses, Christmas lights, etc.
Years since, I've been on the other side of it. When you make eye contact with a driver of a vehicle you're not familiar with, and they don't smile and waive, the paranoia starts up. 😅
I've experienced first hand the effectiveness of the smile and wave, I did it when I was a masked man walking door to door for the 2020 census. It was basically a skip button for the 2 minute intro dialogue whenever the dialogue was optional.
Not gonna lie, i was expecting this to be about Calypso’s truck in twisted metal
Based + they need to make a new twisted metal
you are getting better at animation!
Radiation doesn't turn frogs gay, but look up the effects of atrazine on frogs, Mr. Fed.
0:20 holy shit a guy that knows how to draw a car
Jeff is trying to convince us that hes not a fed for 9 minutes straight. Nice try but dont think thats enough. Aight, ill be omw to find bigfoot and alien spaceship
"the radiation that turns frogs gay. that doesnt exist"
is what a fed would say
You're alive! Nice to see your videos again.
Our leaders back
Here I was expecting this to be about the 18 wheeler they use to transport nuclear bombs
WTH, after i discovered you a few hours ago, i decided to give a watch to all of your videos, and i just see the subscriber amount go up and up, you are basically at 100k already, GGs :D
I can't believe I've been subscribed to a fed all this time.
I cracked up at "Dude! This is how the skin walkers got JFK! I-I knew I was right to spend my alimony money on that bugout bunker after pizzagate. They've finally come for my Funko pops!"
I clipped it; please refer to my other comment for the link, since RUclips spambots didn't let me post it in this thread
Nice try fed. You'll never lay your hands on funko pops in jars
5:16 is the best part. That voice was hilarious
Nobody:
The 300lb liquid helium filled radiation-detecting neko-arc in my basement: "Give me pilk."
the Neco Arc drawing was peak animation
DOE with the barbed wired bat. 😂
Radiation doesn't turn the frogs gay, but Atrazine does.
I once read about an art thief that was known for waving and security cameras to throw off suspicion. Good thinking! Fed ;-)
jeff, does it clap?
Did the nuke truck have speakers on the top to play Turkey in the Straw?
The gay frogs were real, but it wasn't radiation that turned the frogs gay. It was toxic chemicals in the water, and Alex Jones's widely mocked rant was based on legit mainstream peer reviewed academic research into the effects of chemical pollution in the water supply. Just not radioactive contamination.
Frogs can change their sex naturally
@@Duskbound did you know that frogs are going extinct
@@Fish-cj4ub There are multiple species of frogs. You will have to specify which specific species is going extinct.
@@Duskbound no i dont. look it up.
@@Fish-cj4ub One would think you'd be able to verify your own claims. Unless, of course, they're false.
The truck full of nukes is a real thing and the department of energy does exactly that job. Super fun if you can get into it. The truck itself is bananas. Filled with caustic, poisonous foam, explosives, etc. It can roll down a hill and everything inside stays in good shape.
Smile and wave boys, smile and wave.
The penguins really had it down.
“Gathering data” sure Mr DOE Nuclear NSA agent