💖No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment, but please make sure you are having that same respect and non-judgment for others too. This is how we shatter the mental health stigma.💖 Learn the EXACT steps I took in getting my depression and BPD in check, overcoming addiction and self harm and going from ready to end it all to true healing. amandawebsterhealth.com/happiness-boost
Youre all good girl. I had anxiety and went sleepless to this video when I was around 14. The song is superpowerful on its own. Pair it with the video (which won awards btw in the early days of MTV) and it and it can give you a full on panic attack. The dude in this video is essentially cut off from all sensation. Including sight.
FYI the lyrics at the end are: "Landmine has taken my sight, Taken my speech, Taken my hearing, Taken my arms, Taken my legs." So he was a Quadriplegic, with no voice, sight, or hearing. The only way he could communicate was through Morse Code, via rapidly banging his head. This song was based on a novel titled "Johnny Got His Gun" and the videoclips are from the movie by the same name. I know what it feels like to have no voice; be kept alive by vents and feeding tube. After my suicide attempt in '07 I've yet to regain my voice, and still have the tube in my stomach that jabs me throughout the night. But I'm still hanging on and going strong. I owe you, Amanda, a lot of thanks for helping me see my worth to never let my light go out. So, Thank-You! Your videos have helped me a lot.
He was more than a quadriplegic - he was essentially a vegetable. But he was self aware. His bottom jaw was GONE. His arms and legs had to be amputated. Blind and deaf. He was absolutely in a living hell.
Coincidentally you said "soldiers that feel disposable." They have a song called "Disposable Heroes." On a lighter note. This tour was awesome. I got the same shirt Lars was wearing here. My Dad was a Vietnam vet as well. Still actually live by Camp Lejeune.
I'm a 59 year old combat vet...this song moves me to tears every time I watch it, and it was even a bit worse this time due to watching you holding on to your own emotions.
Thank you for your service and sacrifice. God bless you and I hope for the absolute best for you and yours. I can't imagine what you had to go through.
Which always makes my blood boil. For a normal priest, preacher, rabbi, whatever, that would be true. But military clergy convince young men that it's biblically acceptable to fight, to kill, to do horrendous things in service to their nation. But when it goes wrong and that kid is left a wreck and needs an explanation or comfort from the priest? "He's a product of your profession, not mine."
Seeing others hearing one for the first time gives this old time Metallica fan an even more appreciation for this classic. I've been listening to Metallica since I was a teenager. And I get chills watching you hearing a song I've been listening to for decades
I had to read "johnny got his gun" in high school. It was very close to a horror story. There is definitely a statement in the book about the horror of war. He lost most of his face, his arms and legs and could only communicate by bobbing his head in Morse Code. It takes them months to notice what he's doing.
It's been 40 years since I read it, but if I remember right, the nurse used to be a telegraph operator before the war. They had to keep putting pillows around his head because he was hurting himself. But finally the nurse heard him banging and recognized it. I believe she started communicating with him by tapping on his chest?
@@gabby15107you are correct. I had to read it in high school and it was one of, if not, the most impactful story I’ve ever read. It’s the only book that’s ever made me cry.
My granny was the baby of 9 children. She had 3 brothers, all 3 served in WW2. My favorite uncle was on the beaches of Normandy on D day. I remember when we started learning about the war, my granny sat us down and told us that he had been on the beaches that day, and though we may want to, we were to NEVER ask him about what he had seen.
My Opa told me and made jokes…my grandfather from Poland never said a word until he was 96…running between barns to see if they would shoot and fighting is obviously a lot different…my Opa died…luckily I still have 3 grandparents…
I am a veteran. Joined the US Navy in 1990. I had awareness of not only the anxiety of being in a war-zone, but also aware of what can happen at Sea. I learned early -on that the best achievement in any Military service: Go home in one piece and with a sound mind, Not all were so fortunate.
41 year old GWOT combat veteran here, I came back with all my fingers and toes but lost a part of myself in both Afghanistan and Iraq. It has taken me almost 15 years to pull myself back together.
When I first found your channel, I knew you would have to react to this song. But, I almost didn't want you to because I knew it could break you. I appreciate everything you do and send you a virtual hug for getting through this.
I know this song very well, Metallica is my favorite band. I have Asperger's, ADHD, Anxiety and Panic disorders with a side of depression. This is one thing I know from being around people with mental disorders. Talking about suicide is a health conversations that normal people don't understand and want to shut down. But for people like me, we have these thoughts, so having discussions about this, getting the thoughts out of our heads is healthy. Also, if someone takes their own life because of mental disabilities, they aren't cowards. They fought a fight we don't understand and couldn't fight no more. It's an exhausting battle to live this life everyday. The best thing to do when you have these thoughts, talk about them with someone. You aren't suicidal if you are just having thoughts.
You are absolutely right. And once we realize that those other people just don't understand, we can stop being upset when they don't give us the responses we are looking for and we can focus our energy on connecting with people we can relate to who will listen and hold space for us. I hope you've found that here!
Powerful frickin' book. Banned back in the day of WWII. Check out the life of the author, Dalton Trumbo. They made it easy...the biopic is called "Trumbo." 😊 Amazing story.
Ironic you mentioned "Disposable" about soldiers after the war is over. Metallica has a song called "Disposable Heroes" that is just about that. This video was Metallica's very first music video. The video incorporates clips from the movie "Johnny Got His Gun" which Metallica bought the rights to so they didn't have to pay a royalty every time it played. The character, as mentioned in the lyrics, lost his arms, legs, sight and hearing and is unable to speak and uses Morse code by moving his head. The line I like best is when the military officer asks the Padre "Don't you have some message Padre? and the Padre says "He's a product of your profession, not mine" I like how you empathized with this victim Amanda, though it would be very difficult to truly know what it's like to be him.
Apocalyptica released a cover of this yesterday featuring James Hetfield & Rob Trujillo of Metallica that's worth checking out. It gives a different feel to it, yet the message is just as powerful. This song still holds relevance to this day.
James Hetfield will tell their fans and anyone that listens to their music will tell them that they can take these songs and take em in whatever direction they choose to. One person may get a certain perspective themselves, but someone else may get a totally different feeling from the songs. And I think that is so cool and ads a respect James Hetfield holds for the fans of MetallicA. I remember when I was 8 yrs old and watching this video, listening to this lyrical and musical masterpiece of a song. Chills up and down my spine, and still does to this day. James Hetfield doesn't get enough praise for his lyrics.
This song always makes me think of Sophie Delezio. In Australia 2003, at 2 years old she was badly injured when a car crashed into her day care centre and caught fire on top of her. She suffered burns to 85% of her body, was hospitalised for several months, and lost both feet, one hand, and her right ear. I hate myself for thinking at the time that it would be kinder to let her pass. She faced another trial 3 years later when her wheelchair was hit by a car and thrown 18 metres. Delezio suffered a heart attack, a broken jaw, a broken shoulder, bruising to her head, numerous rib fractures and a tear to her left lung.
Wow! Really hits home. I am a senior man. At age 64, I was violently attacked on my posted property, by my neighbors, David and Sage Elder. It started as an argument, but was later attacked. A friend of mine stopped by as David was yelling at me. My friend is a disabled Navy Veteran. Walks with a cane. They told him to leave, or he would get his ass kicked. Threaten a 71 y o man, with a cane? They attacked me, knocked me to the ground, got on top and slugged, kicked, me in the head and ribs! Almost lost my right eye, ribs on right side were fractured, had such a horrible concussion, my Dr. was concerned for my life!!! End result is PTSD. Hate it.
I'm truly sorry to hear about your traumatic experience. It's devastating to go through such an attack, especially on your own property and by those you might have known. The fact that they would threaten an elderly man with a cane and attack you is evidence that they are not well. I hope you took legal action against them. Your feelings are completely valid, and it's important to address the PTSD you are experiencing. Remember, you are not alone in this. There are many resources and people who can offer support and understanding as you navigate through this difficult time. If you need help finding some to connect with, please let me know.
Although this video intercuts scenes from the movie Johnny Got His Gun, and although the book served to flesh out the ideas and mold the song, the guys had the idea for this song before they ever heard of Dalton Trombaugh (sp?). This song started as a question - what would it be like to be incapable of communicating, unable to move, trapped inside yourself? The title of the song is elucidated by the lyric "Now the world is gone, I'm just one . . ."
@vinniedixon1140 - that's not what he said in an interview in 1988 on Radio One's Friday Rock Show. In my comment, I was paraphrasing what Lars said in that interview.
This song hits hard. Its a tough listen. The lyrics, the visuals, the movie lines, and the music all combine for a intense experience that i havent had since 30 yrs ago. But it is a truly amazing song by itself, one of my favorite Metallica songs
Thank you for your kind words for veterans. Although I was unable to serve myself, due to my asthma, I come from a family of military service. Both of my grandfathers, my dad, and the dad of my oldest half sister, all served in the Armed Forces. My grandfathers fought in World War II. My dad and my sisters dad were in Vietnam. The soldier in this movie/video was blown up by a landmine according to the book and the lyrics (although the visual seemed to show a fiery rocket coming down from above). In the case of this character, he is not only rendered quadriplegic, but also rendered blind, deaf, and mute. So he's basically trapped in darkness and silence, not aware of where he is or if anyone else is even around. All he can sense is that something (life support/IV) is keeping him alive and he's in physical pain. This is an extreme (and hypothetical/fictional) case. This character is basically never going to "live" again. Once again, I have to say that I appreciate that you have encouraged wounded veterans who are not quite that badly off to realize that they do still have hope, and to point them to resources to help them put their lives back together. I always get a little bit choked up watching this video when I get to the point where the character is thinking, "Mother, where are you? Help me, mother, I'm having a nightmare and I can't wake up!" The despair and horror in his voice just haunt me.
Amanda, I already loved you, but seeing your reaction to this song really hit home with me! You are such an amazing person, and you bring so much insight and understanding to these tough subjects that very few people can even imagine! For that, I once again thank you for what you do! Such an amazing person! Much love!!!
This video hurts me so much every time I watch it, yet I watch it often just to remind myself that it can be worse, keep moving. And to listen to people, you might be the only one who care hear a plea for help.
Probably the most important thing to take from the music video is actually from the movie. This young man is experiencing the most horrific existence imaginable, and at the end while he's in the hospital bed feeling the sun on his face slowly wane as it sets, three wishes come to his mind. - If I had arms I could kill myself If I had legs I could run away If I had a voice, I could talk and be some kind of company for myself - Here's the catch; in his mind, in the worst place possible, these are equivalents. Fight, flight, or humanity... communication, reason. To be able to communicate and reason, even if it's just with one's self, is ultimately more powerful than any instinct. Inner knowledge is limited, outer knowledge is infinite, and communication is the key to utilizing the latter. Tie that in to the current moment. We're all watching the exercise of power in 'defeating' these sorts of mental entropy.... by communication, by passing the knowledge in how to deal with the subterfuge the mind casts on itself.... by *you* helping spread the information of how and why. Johnny has faith that therapy can aid him, even in this unimaginable situation.
My dad was a veteran but he never talked about it, in fact I didn't know he was a veteran until I was in college. My mom was a navy brat and grew up in Okinawa but again my mom and grandfather rarely talked about it. I was born disabled with spina bifida and have had dozens of surgeries as a result. My mom once told me that she wonders if my dad or grandfather was exposed to something that could have affected her to cause my birth defect. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 6 years old and diagnosed with CPTSD in my early twenties because of watching my mom get beat all the time. My mom has been divorced 3 times and her current marriage has been a happy one for her but not so much for me. My mom's current husband sexually abused me throughout my teens. As for how my mom treated me growing up, I feel like she had overly high expectations of me probably due to being raised a navy brat. The way my mom treated me growing up I felt like I was never good enough. Also my mom never let me do things other kids did and I was constantly being punished for things other kids got away with. In school I was constantly teased and harrassed all day long which made me feel even worse. On top of all this I was having surgery at least once a year and I even got held back twice for missing too much school. As an adult I've struggled keeping a job despite having a college education. Between the abuse I dealt with in my family and the difficulties of finding steady work I've spent most of my adult life homeless. I'm now currently in a nursing home in Texas and dealing with some of the nursing aides ignoring call lights and neglecting me and other patients so there's not a day that goes by that I'm not dealing with depression and anxiety and my only anger outlet is skyrim.
Thank you for sharing your story with me. It's clear that you've faced a tremendous amount of adversity throughout your life, and I'm truly sorry for all the pain and challenges you've endured. You never deserved the abuse or neglect. I hope you know that. Your strength in continuing to move forward is incredibly inspiring. My dad was a Vietnam vet and I knew it all my life, but he never actually confirmed it until I was 20. Given everything you've experienced, it's understandable that you're dealing with depression and anxiety. It's important to have an outlet like Skyrim, but it's also crucial to ensure you're receiving the care and support you need, especially in your current situation at the nursing home. Contacting a patient advocate through an external organization, can help address the neglect you're experiencing and ensure that your needs are met. While therapy has its place, sometimes connecting with others who have faced similar challenges can provide a sense of community and understanding. There are many veterans, disabled individuals and abuse survivors here in our community on the channel, but you can also look for online support groups for individuals with PTSD, depression, or those who have experienced abuse. Given your family’s military background, there might be resources available through veterans' organizations that could provide support. Additionally, disability organizations can offer advocacy, resources, and community support tailored to your needs. There are programs designed to help individuals with disabilities find and maintain employment. These resources can provide training, job placement, and ongoing support. Your story is a testament to your resilience and strength. Despite all the hardships, you're continuing to fight for a better life. Remember that there are people and organizations out there who care and can offer the help you need. If you need help finding one, please IG me @mentalamanda or email me (in video description).
Hi Amanda what u do for mental health is amazing your reaction when u were hear him say those words was true emotion sray strong and safe from New Zealand 🇳🇿
I've been a Metallica fan since the Ride the Lightning album. My oldest son was born twenty years ago, non-verbal, non-mobile and globally delayed. Since then, One has taken a different meaning to me and I often wonder what is going on in my boys head. I really hope it's nothing like this song or in Fade to Black, despite him seeming very happy. That's my anxiety, always striving to give him the best life possible and avoid dark thoughts or feelings of despair setting in him.
Thank you for sharing such a personal and heartfelt part of your life. Being a parent to a child with significant challenges is incredibly demanding and filled with emotional complexities. It’s evident how deeply you care for your son and strive to give him the best life possible. Music can have a profound impact, and it’s understandable how songs like One and Fade to Black could evoke strong feelings given your circumstances. Your love for Metallica and the way their music has intertwined with your life’s experiences is powerful. It’s natural to worry about your son’s internal world, especially when you want so much to protect him from any suffering. Despite your anxiety, it sounds like your son’s happiness is a testament to the love and care you provide. His joy reflects the nurturing environment you’ve created for him. It’s important to remember that you’re doing everything you can to ensure his well-being and happiness. If you ever feel overwhelmed by these thoughts, seeking support from others in similar situations might help. Connecting with other parents of non-verbal or globally delayed children can also provide a sense of community and shared understanding. I know that raisingspecialkids.org/ provides free support, but there are also support groups on Facebook where you could get more interaction with other families.
Your dedication to your son is evident, and your efforts are making a difference in his life. Your love and commitment shine through, and that's what truly matters.
The true meaning behind this song is really deep It's about a World War 1 veteran who was blown up. Buy a landmine and was kept alive by tubes, but was wanting to die because he didn't know whether or not he was alive or dead
The film the clips are from is very good. It's 1971's Johnny Got His Gun', which was based on a 1938 novel of the same name. It's about a WW1soldier that id hit by a shell and hr loses his eyes, ears, mouth, nose, and limbs, but remains conscious.
Thank you very much for reacting to this song. I've enjoyed your channel forever & this song is maybe the Mt. Everest of musical heaviness & emotional deepness. So much so I assumed it was the very first reaction video you ever did back when you started your channel! Thanks again. There's truly no time like the present. XOXO Giovanni
Seeing you visibly and physically react to this masterpiece made me see it and appreciate it in a while new light. And I've seen this video countless times in my lifetime. Love your heart and how empathetic you are and I just discovered your channel today! ❤️
This song for many years didn't hit me as hard as it does now since my life threatening illness and the heavy part of his cries is what I endured for 2 and a half months,
@@Samurai_StonerThe first month I was in a medically induced coma. But unbeknownst to the physicians treating me. I was lockedqa in a repeating cyclical nightmare. And after suffering that I then was awoken with a trach, unable to be heard, I had no voice to speak
@@kellyk9429 damn, mine was just a month, like maybe 3-4 weeks, while on a ventilator so my lungs could heal. I still after two years remember the horrible nightmares
@@christamichelleortloff2195 was on vent first, first 48hrs I wasn’t expected to live, was found with 20% oxygen left, I had a vision of my spouse come down for me, died just 2yrs short of this happening, I said I’m not ready, the final thing to save me at 5 weeks, was the drug im allergic to, had to be given to me in small doses, when woke up had no clue where I was, only knew I went across country coast to coast and left kids back there, had a lot of mental breakdowns, finally out after 2 1/2 months, took about 3 months to get my walking back, still have lots of issues
This song was inspired by Johnny Got A Gun a 1938 novel about a WWI American Veteran who wakes up to find out he is a prisoner of his own body after being hit by a shell. Written by Dalton Trumbolt, it's a anti war book 📖. Dedicated to thoses who were killed and wounded in WWI.
First, thanks so much for your channel. Subscribed! I'm at 11:03, and you said a few times, "I don't know the extent of his injuries." I'm wringing my hands in anticipation for when you figure out the extent. Thanks again for this channel and for you. :)
Got here after watching your "fire away" video. I lost someone very very close to my heart when she lost her battle with mental health. 4 years later and I still feel guilty that she is gone because I let her push me away. I hope you can see you're not only helping those with "mental" problems but also the "normal" people who are on your side and will always be.
After watching your reactions on this video alone i can see you are deeply passionate and i thank you for that. This is one of the true classics of metal.
Respect to you, young lady, for reviewing this song. This younger generation can't imagine how cruel this world can be. You can give it your all and just will not be seen. I also saw your review of "Fade to black" from Metallica and felt your sorrow. I'm in that same team; I died to live another day. The neverending struggle to wake up, living another day full of mental and physical pain, screaming and crying in the void. Being the best dad I can be for my son.(Wife died 3,5 years ago) Just a couple more years till our son can take care of his own. Than I wil reunite with the love of my live. No more surgeries, no more exhausting medication. Just peace. Peace for me, peace for society to wich I'm a burden to. Euthanasia is near and I'm looking forward to it. Peace at last.🌹
I want to take a moment to acknowledge the depth of the pain you're feeling. It takes incredible strength to carry on each day, especially when faced with such overwhelming challenges. Your love for your son and your commitment to being the best father you can be, despite everything, speaks volumes about your character. I also hear the weight of your sorrow and exhaustion, and I’m so sorry that you’ve had to endure such a difficult journey. As someone who lost her mom at 22 and fell apart by turning to every addiction I could, becoming wildly suicidal and jumping into toxic relationships to try to feel the void, your son turning an arbitrary age does not mean that he will be able to thrive on his own. Suicide won't bring the freedom and peace you seek. It would leave behind even more pain for those who care about you, especially your son. Your life has value beyond the suffering, you deserve to find peace and comfort here WITH your son and there are people who want to support you through this, myself included. I care if your light goes out.
Most people who listen to this song or the music video don’t at all pay attention to the deep meaning of the lyrics and the video. It flies over so many people’s heads and it’s refreshing to see someone who actually understands what the song is about. You’re a great reactor and a great person, glad you stuck around! 👍
You took this in fewer segments than I thought you might. The panic was clearly rising several times, and you bravely worked longer through it. This is a tough one (no pun intended) to get through. As you said, it's an extreme example: through the sharing of the extreme we might be able to define what ethical care should be. The analysis uncovering the multiple layers is why I still listen to music i heard long ago: new understandings help get new meanings from pretty much everything. Thank you.
I haven't checked in for too long, but I remember recommending this a couple years ago. The horror on your face as you watched is exactly on point for war, unfortunately. Sending remote hugs. Anybody needs that on their first watch for this song. Crying for "One" is ok. We all do that the first time we understand it.
My late dad couldn't watch the video because of the war sound effects, he was a disabled Vietnam Vet. But this song cemented my love of metal. Pretty much metal is my only escape when my depression hits and the dark thoughts hit. I can hide in the music, the energy of metal. Dad came home and alcoholic and the VA hooked him on drugs. It was before I was born, and I grew up seeing the effects of war on my dad. Was severely abused by him and mom, which lead to my depression, but he taught me respect, taught me how I should live, not like him. Like I said before, though, I still feel like I let him down and grew up to fail.
Bro don't be so hard on yourself. You were dealt a shit sandwich and still here to tell the story. Your dad did the best he could I'm sure, but war breaks many minds. I don't know you but you're not a failure. Stay strong, keep fighting, don't give up. You're in my thoughts and prayers brother 🙏
@@nobuddyimportant2106 thank you. But the way I was brought up, it may be ingrained in me, but whatever I do, I don't think it's good enough. I'm not a success, anything short of that I've failed them.
I know a girl who was in service in the Middle East all through the 2000s and she can't watch this video because it freaks her completely out within the first few seconds. Metallica were genius with this... A lot of metal bands were doing the fake Satanist goofy horror stuff and Metallica does this for a debut video. Horror based entirely on reality
I feel so bad for you, and part of that is from going through my own struggles with depression and inadequacy. Please give yourself some love. It only hurts you to hate yourself like that, and I get it, I really do, like nothing matters unless you succeed fully and without anybody's help. Putting that weight on yourself isn't healthy. Don't give up, and don't let it consume you. You're allowed to fall and get up again. You're allowed to make mistakes. Just learn and move on. There's no need to carry the guilt with you. My heart and prayers go out to you!
@@waynefinnicumbb7218 I can only try to understand how you feel, I was so lucky to have 2 loving parents growing up. I did so many things wrong and they still picked me up when I fell. I hope you have someone in your life to talk to, I don't anymore as my parents have passed on. It's very difficult, but I found Dr Jordan Peterson on RUclips and he has done so much for me and countless other men, just by listening to him talk. Check him out, maybe it'll help. Anyways, stay strong and don't give up brother, you are worth fighting for!!
My father wasn't killed instantly from a brainstem aneurysm back in 2005, and though he was in a coma doctors said there was considerable activity in his cerebrum. I asked if there was any chance he had any awareness of his state because of this song, and the doctors didnt know but conceded he could. We had him completely sedated immediately just in case. We removed life support the next day since we were well aware that he would never want to live like that. Horrific days.
I may have mentioned him in another thread, but there’s a former guitar player who contracted ALS (?) at 22. He wasn’t given much time to live when diagnosed, but he’s still alive at the age of 54. He can longer speak or move anything except maybe his eyes. His father helped develop computer technology to enable him to communicate and even compose music using his eye movement. His name is Jason Becker. There are RUclips videos available to hear his story.
Seeing you react to some of my favorite Metallica songs really helped alleviate some pent up emotions I’ve had over the years. I haven’t heard these songs in awhile so this brought back many memories and emotions. Thank you for helping others. Consider watching “The day that never comes” by Metallica it was also another one of me and my older brothers favorites.
Based off the movie Johnney got his gun. A WW1 story where a solder is horribly wounded, loosing there eyes voice herring arms and legs. It was not based off any real person but my Mom was doing research for the CDC back in 98 on the Spanish flue outbake in ww1 and she ran across a file of a soldier who this fit to a tee. She was a mess after reading the file on him and I could not bring myself to.
There were people so horribly injured in WW1 that they were locked to distant rooms in hospitals. In some cases they even told their relatives they had died to spare them from the pain of seeing how little was left of their loved one. In which case there was absolutely no one visiting them. So while the novel, movie and this song are not directly about any single real person, the themes certainly are based on real life.
Metallica does have songs that aren't depressing too. I know it's sort of the basis of your channel, but you should check out their other awesome music too.
When i saw you were going to react to this, I was... very concerned, to say the least. After watching, I have to say, i am amazed at how much you've grown and learned. I am very inspired by the strength in vulnerability you displayed here, and if i may say, I am very proud of you for that. Thank you.
This was my first experience with Metallica as a teenager watching the video on MTV. Few songs have ever impacted me harder.The definition of living Hell. Now thirty years later as a Veteran who has fought in a war I am grateful for not having such a fate.
When I first chose to learn to play the electric guitar, I took on this song, today, my band & I cover this song to dedicate all veterans regardless of age, rank, alive or deceased. We play it every veterans day.
This is my favorite song from Metallica. Yes as others said, this is based off of Johnny Got His Gun, a book and movie (where this footage is from). Very tragic story, and quite real for anyone that's ever been in war... this stuff happens. This song came out in the late 1980s, and yes, was extremely powerful and real. I just found you on here and saw the "Fade To Black" video first. I too am one that has battled mental illness... over 43 years now, but I am still here. Thank you for all you do here, you are making a difference.
From the first time I heard this song, it was actually not as cliche as in the video about soldiers dying, maimed and suffering. but the song is about giving voice to frustrated people in their lives, depression who need mental help. Metallica's lyrics are mostly genius metaphors. Here, Amanda from the beginning of the song has been very intelligent and careful in capturing the meaning of this masterpiece. Welldone!
This song was my intro to metal, especially thrash. I love this song. I was in a very bad place when I first heard this song in the late 80's, and it is sad, but somehow it helped me.
I just watched your reaction to 'Fade to Black.' I have now managed to wipe my eyes. Have a like and new sub. All hail Amanda. Cheers and thanks. We fight still.
BTW the interspersed video bits are from the film 'Johnny Got His Gun' (the guy playing the father is Jason Robards). The screenwriter, Dalton Trumbo, based it on his own novel (an incredible anti-war screed) of the same name. Trumbo was blacklisted in Hollywood after he ran afoul of the House of Unamerican Activities in the 1950s.
This is very relevant today because the injuries sustained in today's conflicts would have been fatal in generations past, so now we have veterans with multiple amputation and traumatic brain injuries surviving with little to no VA care able to help. Coming out of such a severe procedure as decerebration; he would have likely had emergence delirium; as I did earlier after a near-fatal transplant with complations: no concept of self, location, or awareness. I did 40+ days of this.
I think people really deepening the lyrics more than they really are. This song is about this feeling of disassociation, hatred, anger, fear, sadness, to a mind numbing effect of wanting to kill yourself. The man portrayed is suffering ptsd and is a state of paralysis and numbness that only other vets can understand
My dad was a WWII and Korea veteran. He had PTSD, but in the 70’s doctors didn’t know what it was and mental health was not discussed. My dad smoked for years, he had a heart attack and died. I was 17.
It's heartbreaking that it took so long as a society to recognize PTSD and all the loss that happened in the mean time. My dad was a veteran and smoker and died when I was 20 so, while I can't say I know how you feel, I can say that I know how earth shattering his death must have been for you. I know mine was for me. Feel free to share your favorite memories of him here so we can help keep his spirit alive.
The song is based on a movie which in turn is based on the book "Johnny Got His Gun" by Dalton Trumbo. Dalton was a Hollywood screenwriter who got blacklisted during the McCarthy era. His book was later banned from libraries and universities during the Vietnam War. Johnny was hit by a landmine and lost his arms, legs, ears, eyes and face. He was presumed unconscious, but by banging the back of his head against his pillow, his nurse discovered that he was trying to communicate with morse code. She used her hand to tap back answers on his chest. At the end of the book Johnny morse codes a request to be taken to Washington and shown to all the politicians and public so that the people who start wars can see what their decisions do to people. A general tells him no, that no one will learn he exists. The general then leaves him to remain alone in his inner prison for the rest of his life.
The lyrics are based on the 1939 novel Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo, which is about World War I. A specific passage that inspired the song is: "How could a man lose as much of himself as I have and still live? When a man buys a lottery ticket you never expect him to win because it's a million to one shot. But if he does win, you'll believe it because one in a million still leaves one. If I'd read about a guy like me in the paper I wouldn't believe it, cos it's a million to one. But a million to ONE always leaves one. I'd never expect it to happen to me because the odds of it happening are a million to one. But a million to one always leaves one. One."
The scenes in this video are from the 1970's movie, "Johnny Got His Gun" and the associated book, originally written in 1938. James Hetfield was inspired to write this song after seeing the film. Johnny was a soldier in World War One. He is caught in an explosion that leaves him with no arms, no legs, no face, no ears. He cannot speak, hear, or see - has no sense of time or where he is, and is fed through a tube and breathing through a respirator. I have always interpreted the cut scenes within the song as what is happening to Johnny in the real world. The moments of the song where Johnny is "thinking out loud" are his conscious mind, and James Hetfields voice is his subconscious mind. This was triggered - for me - by Johnny's thought, "I don't know if I'm alive and dreaming, or dead and remembering?" From that point on, the music builds and builds, which - again, to me - signaled the growing conflict between the two sides of Johnny's mind as he dips further and further into insanity. By the time Kirk Hammett's guitar solo hits, (and hits hard), I've always pictured that as the final "battle" between Johnny's conscious and subconscious mind, with the final "S.O.S. Help me..." mantra at the conclusion signifying that Johnny's mind is the same as his body, reduced to "one" singular, autonomic thought. Nothing else of him remains from that point forward. Johnny has gone, and only the breathing corpse remains until he would die of old age. At the end, the crowd singing "Keep the Home Fires Burning" symbolizes how society went on and forgot about him, (and the veterans in general). If you listen to this song from that perspective, you will be bawling by the end.
Oh WOW, I've heard that song alot but never watched the video. That just blew my mind. I'm sorry that you almost had a panic attack. It saddened my heart when the young man was sending an S.O.S for help and wanted them to end his life. The following statement was that he is a product of yours, not mine. It's really sad because that kind of mentality still goes on today. I really felt for the young man. Thank you again for your viewpoint on this video. ❤you Amanda and keep it coming. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I’m proud of you, You are super brave to make it through this song. I myself didn’t suffer through any of that but I tear up every time I listen to this song. It’s a hard song for me to me to listen to. But it’s an important song nonetheless. It shows the horrors of war.
Try being paralyzed for the better part of two months and being in an induced coma. I was suffering from guilainne barre syndrome. It’s an autoimmune disorder and I felt as if my body was on fire. My nervous system was being attacked from my own body. This song sums up my feelings of isolation and not being able to communicate. Paralyzed and with a trach there was no talking for me. I ended up in icu psychosis. Terrible Hell of a place to be!
It’s One of the best but heartbreaking songs next to Daddy by Korn which is about child SA and child abuse the Singer is a survivor telling his story about one of his babysitter/ family friend who was this women who did it to him multiple times but when he told his parents they diden’t believe him and at the end he breaks down crying everything comes flowing out poor guy i wanna hug him but i read after the song was done his bandmates did come in to the vocal booth for a group hug they were way before their time this was somewhere in the 90s and now we have artists like Melanie Martinez, NF, Conan Gray
I was living with no hope when I first heard Metallica. The emotional release their music gave me, and still gives me, put me on a path to healing. But this song...to me One is two different songs. The album version and the video version. The album version is a powerful, strength enhancing, outlet for raging against the machine which leaves me feeling stronger and angrier at the injustices of the world. The music video though just make me cry, especially when I ponder the futile nature of war. Don't get me wrong, I still love both versions, but experiencing it Live is something else.
One of their most famous song but so touching it's take ptsd issues and level up to the extreme consequences saddenly nothing more to say that doesn't has say it about this song and video as well before i knew this would be hard to you listen to and visualize also but I think you're a strong woman at this point of ur life journey greetings Amanda keeps healthy 😊
This is an incredibly difficult song to analyze simply because of the subject matter. The movie “Johnny Got His Gun” is even darker than the clips shown in this video. I tip my hat to your bravery and intestinal fortitude in delving into it.
Thanks for not being icky and cheating on me! ... !!! ... When this song was written, recorded, and performed in 1988, PTSD was still referred to as Shell Shock and/or Weakness while the term PTSD was still gaining ground, despite the fact that the movie clips are from the *1971* film *Johnny Got His Gun.* ... FYI, the Army Slogan during WWI was *Johnny Get Your Gun.* So, this is what happened when Johnny Got His Gun. P.S. I understand that you're not a fan of Heavy Metal and I respect that. To each her own, but Heavy Metal is often about these emotions and disagreements that we have with that thing that we call *Society.* P.P.S. The way you collected yourself at 8:18 is beyond admirable and what we should all be striving for. It's not always easy, and definitely exhausting, but something that we should strive and focus for. 🙂
Its an extremely powerful filmclip. I remember watching this for the first time when i was in high school when it was first released and watching it again just now ...brilliant executed song, clip...amazing work from metallica at the same time very confronting and even somewhat disturbing.
James Hetfield said on the Howard Stern show that after his mom died when he was 13 he felt that he was the “one” all all alone in the world. Writing this song was like therapy later in life for him.
I was brought up like a lot of boys where of the era, play with your GI Joes, watch war movies, play "war" as kids, hear about do your duty as a good American patriot and enlist in the arm forces etc. I've had relatives who were in war, most notably my grandfather who was in World War 2. He ended up drinking himself to death. So I had the mindset to enlist when I graduated school. But as I became an older teenager, I listen to metal bands like Metallica and Slayer, who bring up war in their songs. So with some wisdom gains I started to look at war movies differently like Platoon and Full Metal Jacket and understand the message they are trying to tell the viewer. I graduated in 90 and the First Gulf War got under way. A lot of my friends enlisted and I'm like no, not me. I'm not going to put my life on the line for saving some rich man's oil. We've fought a lot of wars that we had no business getting into but that's what happens when you have politicians and having their agendas who make the decisions. Don't get me wrong, there comes a time when you do have to fight, like if someone invaded America, I'll be up front leading the charge or World War 2, that was a necessary involvement we needed to win.
I was 12 when this song came out, and just starting to accept thenot quite but still loss of my mother, who has been comatose since her brain tumor surgery just after my 9th birthday. My dad always pointed out the obviously more depressing aspects, never once admitting his own anger about how we lost her, while i took the angry yet mournful tone to be theraputic for me in its own right. It really helped me process my feelings, which ran the gamut and thus needed addressing... I share this with you because i appreciated your open struggle with the song, and how well you explained your interpretations as well as your not fully formed realization of just how trapped the man felt... And once you mentioned that being a deep seeded fear of yours, i knew the next realizations would (forgive me) "rock you", and with every twitch and recoil, i literally felt your reaction, far more than any words could have covered, even if scripted by Shakespeare's Spokesman!
Thank you so much for sharing such a deeply personal story. Music can be such a powerful tool for navigating emotions, especially during difficult times like the one you faced with your mother. It's understandable that your dad focused on the more depressing aspects, as everyone processes grief and loss differently. It sounds like you found a unique and therapeutic way to address your own feelings through the song's tone. Your words mean a lot to me, and I'm grateful for the connection we share through this experience. Music's ability to convey and evoke such deep emotions is truly incredible, and I'm honored that my exploration of the song had such an impact on you. Thank you again for opening up and for your kind words-they truly touch my heart.
Seeing your reaction felt like experiencing the song for the first time again. There is another song with a theme of not being heard, not in a literal sense like this one, but more like a feeling of being trapped and ignored by people around you. Scream by Krypteria. It's one of those songs where the music has slightly different energy from the lyrics, but a couple of years ago, I found myself relating to that kind of feeling. Just a note if anyone wants to hear it, the pre-chorus (I guess that's what it is) goes by fast, and the singer does have an accent so it could be hard to understand, just going by the audio the first time.
💖No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment, but please make sure you are having that same respect and non-judgment for others too. This is how we shatter the mental health stigma.💖
Learn the EXACT steps I took in getting my depression and BPD in check, overcoming addiction and self harm and going from ready to end it all to true healing. amandawebsterhealth.com/happiness-boost
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This was my first Metallica song I ever listened to. The clips came from a movie called Johnny got his gun. It may lead to some sleepless nights.
Youre all good girl. I had anxiety and went sleepless to this video when I was around 14. The song is superpowerful on its own. Pair it with the video (which won awards btw in the early days of MTV) and it and it can give you a full on panic attack. The dude in this video is essentially cut off from all sensation. Including sight.
We love you girl. Hugs from afar. Utah
FYI the lyrics at the end are: "Landmine has taken my sight, Taken my speech, Taken my hearing, Taken my arms, Taken my legs." So he was a Quadriplegic, with no voice, sight, or hearing. The only way he could communicate was through Morse Code, via rapidly banging his head. This song was based on a novel titled "Johnny Got His Gun" and the videoclips are from the movie by the same name. I know what it feels like to have no voice; be kept alive by vents and feeding tube. After my suicide attempt in '07 I've yet to regain my voice, and still have the tube in my stomach that jabs me throughout the night. But I'm still hanging on and going strong. I owe you, Amanda, a lot of thanks for helping me see my worth to never let my light go out. So, Thank-You! Your videos have helped me a lot.
He was more than a quadriplegic - he was essentially a vegetable. But he was self aware. His bottom jaw was GONE. His arms and legs had to be amputated. Blind and deaf. He was absolutely in a living hell.
@@Charlie_Alpha_Echo yeah I know, didn’t know about the bottom jaw part.
@@GreathSentina thats news to me. But that is why that device is covering most of his face. That explains alot.
@@dathorndike4908 yeah I never thought of it.
I don't know why the doctors would keep him alive, its inhumane. You would go insane in your own mind
Coincidentally you said "soldiers that feel disposable." They have a song called "Disposable Heroes."
On a lighter note. This tour was awesome. I got the same shirt Lars was wearing here. My Dad was a Vietnam vet as well. Still actually live by Camp Lejeune.
Dispolable Heroes is one of my favorite Metallica songs. The Message is just as clear as the Heavy Metal!
Isn’t it hard to believe she did that by accident?
Amazing coincidence
I immediately thought the same.
Thank you for your dad's service, making life better for me and my son.
I’m broken too by killswitch engage is song that talks about the singer’s struggles with depression
I'm a 59 year old combat vet...this song moves me to tears every time I watch it, and it was even a bit worse this time due to watching you holding on to your own emotions.
Thank you for your service sir. And may God help you with any trauma and PSTD haunting you.
Your sacrifice and service is greatly appreciated. My son and I have a safe place to live thanks to people like you.
I'm also in my 50's .. and even after all these years.. this song still hits my emotions... never gets old as I slowly do. :)
Thank you for your service and sacrifice. God bless you and I hope for the absolute best for you and yours. I can't imagine what you had to go through.
You need to remember who have fought these wars for centuries. There's a reason these people are refusing to join right now. @MentalAmanda
"He's a product of your profession, not mine" 👊👊👊
That line coming from the Padre (priest) is one of the hardest lines in any film ever.
It's a joint effort, let's be honest.
Which always makes my blood boil. For a normal priest, preacher, rabbi, whatever, that would be true. But military clergy convince young men that it's biblically acceptable to fight, to kill, to do horrendous things in service to their nation. But when it goes wrong and that kid is left a wreck and needs an explanation or comfort from the priest? "He's a product of your profession, not mine."
and for democracy every man will give his only forgotten son... and..... each man faces death by himself.... alone
Begotten son. Adam and Eve begott Cain and Able.
"i don't know the extent of his injuries"
Oh my sweet angel... you're bout to find out...
I had the same thought
Seeing others hearing one for the first time gives this old time Metallica fan an even more appreciation for this classic. I've been listening to Metallica since I was a teenager. And I get chills watching you hearing a song I've been listening to for decades
Me too, I still love this song.
I had to read "johnny got his gun" in high school. It was very close to a horror story. There is definitely a statement in the book about the horror of war. He lost most of his face, his arms and legs and could only communicate by bobbing his head in Morse Code. It takes them months to notice what he's doing.
I've watched the most brutal horror movies, that movie, though, that one haunted me a little
It's been 40 years since I read it, but if I remember right, the nurse used to be a telegraph operator before the war. They had to keep putting pillows around his head because he was hurting himself. But finally the nurse heard him banging and recognized it. I believe she started communicating with him by tapping on his chest?
@@gabby15107you are correct. I had to read it in high school and it was one of, if not, the most impactful story I’ve ever read. It’s the only book that’s ever made me cry.
The book and the movie are both creepy as hell. Definitely a horror story
My granny was the baby of 9 children. She had 3 brothers, all 3 served in WW2. My favorite uncle was on the beaches of Normandy on D day. I remember when we started learning about the war, my granny sat us down and told us that he had been on the beaches that day, and though we may want to, we were to NEVER ask him about what he had seen.
Thank you to you and your family for their service. My son and I have a home because of veterans like your family.
I myself did not and could not serve due to medical issues. But my whole family is military. I am so proud of all of them. Even my vietnam vet family.
My Opa told me and made jokes…my grandfather from Poland never said a word until he was 96…running between barns to see if they would shoot and fighting is obviously a lot different…my Opa died…luckily I still have 3 grandparents…
I am a veteran. Joined the US Navy in 1990. I had awareness of not only the anxiety of being in a war-zone, but also aware of what can happen at Sea. I learned early -on that the best achievement in any Military service: Go home in one piece and with a sound mind, Not all were so fortunate.
Thank you very much for your service.
41 year old GWOT combat veteran here, I came back with all my fingers and toes but lost a part of myself in both Afghanistan and Iraq. It has taken me almost 15 years to pull myself back together.
@@hodri13 🫡🇺🇸
When I first found your channel, I knew you would have to react to this song. But, I almost didn't want you to because I knew it could break you. I appreciate everything you do and send you a virtual hug for getting through this.
KoЯn Daddy would wreck her emotionally. Some other KoЯn songs would be interesting, just not Daddy.
seeing your demeanour change when the solo kicked in gave me chills
I know this song very well, Metallica is my favorite band. I have Asperger's, ADHD, Anxiety and Panic disorders with a side of depression. This is one thing I know from being around people with mental disorders. Talking about suicide is a health conversations that normal people don't understand and want to shut down. But for people like me, we have these thoughts, so having discussions about this, getting the thoughts out of our heads is healthy. Also, if someone takes their own life because of mental disabilities, they aren't cowards. They fought a fight we don't understand and couldn't fight no more. It's an exhausting battle to live this life everyday. The best thing to do when you have these thoughts, talk about them with someone. You aren't suicidal if you are just having thoughts.
You are absolutely right. And once we realize that those other people just don't understand, we can stop being upset when they don't give us the responses we are looking for and we can focus our energy on connecting with people we can relate to who will listen and hold space for us. I hope you've found that here!
Just bought the book, and am currently reading it every night. Its called Johnny Got His Gun. Sometimes, there are fates worse than death.
Powerful frickin' book. Banned back in the day of WWII. Check out the life of the author, Dalton Trumbo. They made it easy...the biopic is called "Trumbo." 😊 Amazing story.
This is one of the baddest ass heavy metal songs of all time.
Actually ONE is one of the best songs ever written..no matter the genre.
Será que te la pasas escuchando, no se, esa mugre auditiva mal llamada " Trap "
U r spot on. I'm a 51yr old metalhead. I appreciate ur honest interpretation of the this song. So thank you my dear
Ironic you mentioned "Disposable" about soldiers after the war is over. Metallica has a song called "Disposable Heroes" that is just about that.
This video was Metallica's very first music video. The video incorporates clips from the movie "Johnny Got His Gun" which Metallica bought the rights to so they didn't have to pay a royalty every time it played. The character, as mentioned in the lyrics, lost his arms, legs, sight and hearing and is unable to speak and uses Morse code by moving his head.
The line I like best is when the military officer asks the Padre "Don't you have some message Padre? and the Padre says "He's a product of your profession, not mine"
I like how you empathized with this victim Amanda, though it would be very difficult to truly know what it's like to be him.
Johnny Got His Gun. This movie was ahead of it's time and needs a reboot.
I could imagine a new version where he gets cybernetic implants so he has eyes, ears, hands and feet again
Apocalyptica released a cover of this yesterday featuring James Hetfield & Rob Trujillo of Metallica that's worth checking out. It gives a different feel to it, yet the message is just as powerful. This song still holds relevance to this day.
This song triggers my anxiety and PTSD and I cannot stop listening. It says exactly what I felt when I came home. and the trapped feeling.
James Hetfield will tell their fans and anyone that listens to their music will tell them that they can take these songs and take em in whatever direction they choose to. One person may get a certain perspective themselves, but someone else may get a totally different feeling from the songs. And I think that is so cool and ads a respect James Hetfield holds for the fans of MetallicA. I remember when I was 8 yrs old and watching this video, listening to this lyrical and musical masterpiece of a song. Chills up and down my spine, and still does to this day. James Hetfield doesn't get enough praise for his lyrics.
Hetfield is a lyrical genius.
This song always makes me think of Sophie Delezio. In Australia 2003, at 2 years old she was badly injured when a car crashed into her day care centre and caught fire on top of her. She suffered burns to 85% of her body, was hospitalised for several months, and lost both feet, one hand, and her right ear. I hate myself for thinking at the time that it would be kinder to let her pass. She faced another trial 3 years later when her wheelchair was hit by a car and thrown 18 metres. Delezio suffered a heart attack, a broken jaw, a broken shoulder, bruising to her head, numerous rib fractures and a tear to her left lung.
You will be happy to know she's doing well now she's engaged to be married , pregnant and working as a journalist.
Wow! Really hits home. I am a senior man. At age 64, I was violently attacked on my posted property, by my neighbors, David and Sage Elder. It started as an argument, but was later attacked.
A friend of mine stopped by as David was yelling at me. My friend is a disabled Navy Veteran. Walks with a cane. They told him to leave, or he would get his ass kicked. Threaten a 71 y o man, with a cane?
They attacked me, knocked me to the ground, got on top and slugged, kicked, me in the head and ribs! Almost lost my right eye, ribs on right side were fractured, had such a horrible concussion, my Dr. was concerned for my life!!!
End result is PTSD. Hate it.
That's horrible. Wish I was there...
@joeswofford8519 thanks Joe!
Hope they went to jail for that.
I'm truly sorry to hear about your traumatic experience. It's devastating to go through such an attack, especially on your own property and by those you might have known. The fact that they would threaten an elderly man with a cane and attack you is evidence that they are not well. I hope you took legal action against them. Your feelings are completely valid, and it's important to address the PTSD you are experiencing. Remember, you are not alone in this. There are many resources and people who can offer support and understanding as you navigate through this difficult time. If you need help finding some to connect with, please let me know.
Great Vid. This is about Physical Problems (from war) causing deep Mental anguish.
Don't take things for granted kids
That was not only the best reaction, but the best analysis of this song I've ever heard, excellent job!
Although this video intercuts scenes from the movie Johnny Got His Gun, and although the book served to flesh out the ideas and mold the song, the guys had the idea for this song before they ever heard of Dalton Trombaugh (sp?). This song started as a question - what would it be like to be incapable of communicating, unable to move, trapped inside yourself?
The title of the song is elucidated by the lyric "Now the world is gone, I'm just one . . ."
Lars Ulrich was watching the movie and came up with the idea for the song
@vinniedixon1140 - that's not what he said in an interview in 1988 on Radio One's Friday Rock Show. In my comment, I was paraphrasing what Lars said in that interview.
Dalton Trumbo wrote the book.
This song hits hard. Its a tough listen. The lyrics, the visuals, the movie lines, and the music all combine for a intense experience that i havent had since 30 yrs ago. But it is a truly amazing song by itself, one of my favorite Metallica songs
Thank you for your kind words for veterans. Although I was unable to serve myself, due to my asthma, I come from a family of military service. Both of my grandfathers, my dad, and the dad of my oldest half sister, all served in the Armed Forces. My grandfathers fought in World War II. My dad and my sisters dad were in Vietnam.
The soldier in this movie/video was blown up by a landmine according to the book and the lyrics (although the visual seemed to show a fiery rocket coming down from above). In the case of this character, he is not only rendered quadriplegic, but also rendered blind, deaf, and mute. So he's basically trapped in darkness and silence, not aware of where he is or if anyone else is even around. All he can sense is that something (life support/IV) is keeping him alive and he's in physical pain.
This is an extreme (and hypothetical/fictional) case. This character is basically never going to "live" again. Once again, I have to say that I appreciate that you have encouraged wounded veterans who are not quite that badly off to realize that they do still have hope, and to point them to resources to help them put their lives back together.
I always get a little bit choked up watching this video when I get to the point where the character is thinking, "Mother, where are you? Help me, mother, I'm having a nightmare and I can't wake up!" The despair and horror in his voice just haunt me.
Thank you for your families service, and your work in support as well.
Amanda, I already loved you, but seeing your reaction to this song really hit home with me! You are such an amazing person, and you bring so much insight and understanding to these tough subjects that very few people can even imagine! For that, I once again thank you for what you do! Such an amazing person! Much love!!!
This video hurts me so much every time I watch it, yet I watch it often just to remind myself that it can be worse, keep moving. And to listen to people, you might be the only one who care hear a plea for help.
Very well said
Probably the most important thing to take from the music video is actually from the movie.
This young man is experiencing the most horrific existence imaginable, and at the end while he's in the hospital bed feeling the sun on his face slowly wane as it sets, three wishes come to his mind.
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If I had arms I could kill myself
If I had legs I could run away
If I had a voice, I could talk and be some kind of company for myself
-
Here's the catch; in his mind, in the worst place possible, these are equivalents. Fight, flight, or humanity... communication, reason.
To be able to communicate and reason, even if it's just with one's self, is ultimately more powerful than any instinct. Inner knowledge is limited, outer knowledge is infinite, and communication is the key to utilizing the latter.
Tie that in to the current moment. We're all watching the exercise of power in 'defeating' these sorts of mental entropy.... by communication, by passing the knowledge in how to deal with the subterfuge the mind casts on itself.... by *you* helping spread the information of how and why.
Johnny has faith that therapy can aid him, even in this unimaginable situation.
My dad was a veteran but he never talked about it, in fact I didn't know he was a veteran until I was in college. My mom was a navy brat and grew up in Okinawa but again my mom and grandfather rarely talked about it. I was born disabled with spina bifida and have had dozens of surgeries as a result. My mom once told me that she wonders if my dad or grandfather was exposed to something that could have affected her to cause my birth defect. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 6 years old and diagnosed with CPTSD in my early twenties because of watching my mom get beat all the time. My mom has been divorced 3 times and her current marriage has been a happy one for her but not so much for me. My mom's current husband sexually abused me throughout my teens. As for how my mom treated me growing up, I feel like she had overly high expectations of me probably due to being raised a navy brat. The way my mom treated me growing up I felt like I was never good enough. Also my mom never let me do things other kids did and I was constantly being punished for things other kids got away with. In school I was constantly teased and harrassed all day long which made me feel even worse. On top of all this I was having surgery at least once a year and I even got held back twice for missing too much school. As an adult I've struggled keeping a job despite having a college education. Between the abuse I dealt with in my family and the difficulties of finding steady work I've spent most of my adult life homeless. I'm now currently in a nursing home in Texas and dealing with some of the nursing aides ignoring call lights and neglecting me and other patients so there's not a day that goes by that I'm not dealing with depression and anxiety and my only anger outlet is skyrim.
I'm sorry you went through this hell but I hope you'll find a way to slay these demons in your mind so you can find peace and happiness
I'm so sorry to hear about what you've gone through. 😢
Thank you for sharing your story with me. It's clear that you've faced a tremendous amount of adversity throughout your life, and I'm truly sorry for all the pain and challenges you've endured. You never deserved the abuse or neglect. I hope you know that. Your strength in continuing to move forward is incredibly inspiring. My dad was a Vietnam vet and I knew it all my life, but he never actually confirmed it until I was 20.
Given everything you've experienced, it's understandable that you're dealing with depression and anxiety. It's important to have an outlet like Skyrim, but it's also crucial to ensure you're receiving the care and support you need, especially in your current situation at the nursing home. Contacting a patient advocate through an external organization, can help address the neglect you're experiencing and ensure that your needs are met.
While therapy has its place, sometimes connecting with others who have faced similar challenges can provide a sense of community and understanding. There are many veterans, disabled individuals and abuse survivors here in our community on the channel, but you can also look for online support groups for individuals with PTSD, depression, or those who have experienced abuse. Given your family’s military background, there might be resources available through veterans' organizations that could provide support. Additionally, disability organizations can offer advocacy, resources, and community support tailored to your needs.
There are programs designed to help individuals with disabilities find and maintain employment. These resources can provide training, job placement, and ongoing support. Your story is a testament to your resilience and strength. Despite all the hardships, you're continuing to fight for a better life. Remember that there are people and organizations out there who care and can offer the help you need. If you need help finding one, please IG me @mentalamanda or email me (in video description).
Hi Amanda what u do for mental health is amazing your reaction when u were hear him say those words was true emotion sray strong and safe from New Zealand 🇳🇿
I've been a Metallica fan since the Ride the Lightning album. My oldest son was born twenty years ago, non-verbal, non-mobile and globally delayed. Since then, One has taken a different meaning to me and I often wonder what is going on in my boys head. I really hope it's nothing like this song or in Fade to Black, despite him seeming very happy. That's my anxiety, always striving to give him the best life possible and avoid dark thoughts or feelings of despair setting in him.
Thank you for sharing such a personal and heartfelt part of your life. Being a parent to a child with significant challenges is incredibly demanding and filled with emotional complexities. It’s evident how deeply you care for your son and strive to give him the best life possible.
Music can have a profound impact, and it’s understandable how songs like One and Fade to Black could evoke strong feelings given your circumstances. Your love for Metallica and the way their music has intertwined with your life’s experiences is powerful. It’s natural to worry about your son’s internal world, especially when you want so much to protect him from any suffering. Despite your anxiety, it sounds like your son’s happiness is a testament to the love and care you provide. His joy reflects the nurturing environment you’ve created for him. It’s important to remember that you’re doing everything you can to ensure his well-being and happiness.
If you ever feel overwhelmed by these thoughts, seeking support from others in similar situations might help. Connecting with other parents of non-verbal or globally delayed children can also provide a sense of community and shared understanding. I know that raisingspecialkids.org/ provides free support, but there are also support groups on Facebook where you could get more interaction with other families.
Your dedication to your son is evident, and your efforts are making a difference in his life. Your love and commitment shine through, and that's what truly matters.
The song "Disposable Heroes" is an amazing companion to this.
Metallica's music speaks to the soul. It's ok to cry Amanda 🙂
Always look forward to your reaction videos
The true meaning behind this song is really deep It's about a World War 1 veteran who was blown up. Buy a landmine and was kept alive by tubes, but was wanting to die because he didn't know whether or not he was alive or dead
The film the clips are from is very good. It's 1971's Johnny Got His Gun', which was based on a 1938 novel of the same name. It's about a WW1soldier that id hit by a shell and hr loses his eyes, ears, mouth, nose, and limbs, but remains conscious.
Im so glad I found your channel. Keep rockin' pretty lady!
I see this is emotional 4u. I'm proud of you. For listening and dealing with the emotions
Thank you very much for reacting to this song. I've enjoyed your channel forever & this song is maybe the Mt. Everest of musical heaviness & emotional deepness. So much so I assumed it was the very first reaction video you ever did back when you started your channel! Thanks again. There's truly no time like the present. XOXO Giovanni
Everything I hear this song it touches me so deeply to tears cause of what it stands and says love it
Seeing you visibly and physically react to this masterpiece made me see it and appreciate it in a while new light.
And I've seen this video countless times in my lifetime. Love your heart and how empathetic you are and I just discovered your channel today! ❤️
This song for many years didn't hit me as hard as it does now since my life threatening illness and the heavy part of his cries is what I endured for 2 and a half months,
Sending healing vibes to you Namaste
@@Samurai_StonerThe first month I was in a medically induced coma. But unbeknownst to the physicians treating me. I was lockedqa in a repeating cyclical nightmare. And after suffering that I then was awoken with a trach, unable to be heard, I had no voice to speak
Wow, me too, oct 2021, 5 wk coma
@@kellyk9429 damn, mine was just a month, like maybe 3-4 weeks, while on a ventilator so my lungs could heal. I still after two years remember the horrible nightmares
@@christamichelleortloff2195 was on vent first, first 48hrs I wasn’t expected to live, was found with 20% oxygen left, I had a vision of my spouse come down for me, died just 2yrs short of this happening, I said I’m not ready, the final thing to save me at 5 weeks, was the drug im allergic to, had to be given to me in small doses, when woke up had no clue where I was, only knew I went across country coast to coast and left kids back there, had a lot of mental breakdowns, finally out after 2 1/2 months, took about 3 months to get my walking back, still have lots of issues
Isn’t it amazing how a music video can spark so many feelings?
This song was inspired by Johnny Got A Gun a 1938 novel about a WWI American Veteran who wakes up to find out he is a prisoner of his own body after being hit by a shell.
Written by Dalton Trumbolt, it's a anti war book 📖. Dedicated to thoses who were killed and wounded in WWI.
This is a very powerful song. Thanks for reacting to it. Love you, sis.
First, thanks so much for your channel. Subscribed! I'm at 11:03, and you said a few times, "I don't know the extent of his injuries." I'm wringing my hands in anticipation for when you figure out the extent. Thanks again for this channel and for you. :)
Interesting and inspiring watching you act in spite of your emotions. It shows your inner strength has grown since you first started this channel. ❤
Got here after watching your "fire away" video. I lost someone very very close to my heart when she lost her battle with mental health. 4 years later and I still feel guilty that she is gone because I let her push me away. I hope you can see you're not only helping those with "mental" problems but also the "normal" people who are on your side and will always be.
Thank you!
After watching your reactions on this video alone i can see you are deeply passionate and i thank you for that. This is one of the true classics of metal.
Your explanation and comparison of lyrics to real life experiences make perfect sense. One of the many reasons i listen to your reactions. Thank you
Fun fact:
Every aspect of the song is designed to represent a descent into madness. From the vocals to the instruments.
Respect to you, young lady, for reviewing this song. This younger generation can't imagine how cruel this world can be. You can give it your all and just will not be seen.
I also saw your review of "Fade to black" from Metallica and felt your sorrow. I'm in that same team; I died to live another day. The neverending struggle to wake up, living another day full of mental and physical pain, screaming and crying in the void. Being the best dad I can be for my son.(Wife died 3,5 years ago) Just a couple more years till our son can take care of his own. Than I wil reunite with the love of my live. No more surgeries, no more exhausting medication. Just peace. Peace for me, peace for society to wich I'm a burden to.
Euthanasia is near and I'm looking forward to it. Peace at last.🌹
I want to take a moment to acknowledge the depth of the pain you're feeling. It takes incredible strength to carry on each day, especially when faced with such overwhelming challenges. Your love for your son and your commitment to being the best father you can be, despite everything, speaks volumes about your character. I also hear the weight of your sorrow and exhaustion, and I’m so sorry that you’ve had to endure such a difficult journey.
As someone who lost her mom at 22 and fell apart by turning to every addiction I could, becoming wildly suicidal and jumping into toxic relationships to try to feel the void, your son turning an arbitrary age does not mean that he will be able to thrive on his own. Suicide won't bring the freedom and peace you seek. It would leave behind even more pain for those who care about you, especially your son. Your life has value beyond the suffering, you deserve to find peace and comfort here WITH your son and there are people who want to support you through this, myself included. I care if your light goes out.
Most people who listen to this song or the music video don’t at all pay attention to the deep meaning of the lyrics and the video. It flies over so many people’s heads and it’s refreshing to see someone who actually understands what the song is about. You’re a great reactor and a great person, glad you stuck around! 👍
You took this in fewer segments than I thought you might. The panic was clearly rising several times, and you bravely worked longer through it. This is a tough one (no pun intended) to get through. As you said, it's an extreme example: through the sharing of the extreme we might be able to define what ethical care should be. The analysis uncovering the multiple layers is why I still listen to music i heard long ago: new understandings help get new meanings from pretty much everything. Thank you.
I haven't checked in for too long, but I remember recommending this a couple years ago.
The horror on your face as you watched is exactly on point for war, unfortunately.
Sending remote hugs. Anybody needs that on their first watch for this song. Crying for "One" is ok. We all do that the first time we understand it.
My late dad couldn't watch the video because of the war sound effects, he was a disabled Vietnam Vet. But this song cemented my love of metal. Pretty much metal is my only escape when my depression hits and the dark thoughts hit. I can hide in the music, the energy of metal.
Dad came home and alcoholic and the VA hooked him on drugs. It was before I was born, and I grew up seeing the effects of war on my dad. Was severely abused by him and mom, which lead to my depression, but he taught me respect, taught me how I should live, not like him. Like I said before, though, I still feel like I let him down and grew up to fail.
Bro don't be so hard on yourself. You were dealt a shit sandwich and still here to tell the story. Your dad did the best he could I'm sure, but war breaks many minds. I don't know you but you're not a failure. Stay strong, keep fighting, don't give up. You're in my thoughts and prayers brother 🙏
@@nobuddyimportant2106 thank you. But the way I was brought up, it may be ingrained in me, but whatever I do, I don't think it's good enough. I'm not a success, anything short of that I've failed them.
I know a girl who was in service in the Middle East all through the 2000s and she can't watch this video because it freaks her completely out within the first few seconds. Metallica were genius with this... A lot of metal bands were doing the fake Satanist goofy horror stuff and Metallica does this for a debut video. Horror based entirely on reality
I feel so bad for you, and part of that is from going through my own struggles with depression and inadequacy. Please give yourself some love. It only hurts you to hate yourself like that, and I get it, I really do, like nothing matters unless you succeed fully and without anybody's help. Putting that weight on yourself isn't healthy. Don't give up, and don't let it consume you. You're allowed to fall and get up again. You're allowed to make mistakes. Just learn and move on. There's no need to carry the guilt with you. My heart and prayers go out to you!
@@waynefinnicumbb7218 I can only try to understand how you feel, I was so lucky to have 2 loving parents growing up. I did so many things wrong and they still picked me up when I fell. I hope you have someone in your life to talk to, I don't anymore as my parents have passed on. It's very difficult, but I found Dr Jordan Peterson on RUclips and he has done so much for me and countless other men, just by listening to him talk. Check him out, maybe it'll help. Anyways, stay strong and don't give up brother, you are worth fighting for!!
My father wasn't killed instantly from a brainstem aneurysm back in 2005, and though he was in a coma doctors said there was considerable activity in his cerebrum. I asked if there was any chance he had any awareness of his state because of this song, and the doctors didnt know but conceded he could. We had him completely sedated immediately just in case. We removed life support the next day since we were well aware that he would never want to live like that. Horrific days.
I am sorry for your lose. You did the best you could, with love and compassion.
This is my all-time favorite song. Hats off to James, Kirk, Lars, and Jason for writing this masterpiece! 🤘🏻
I may have mentioned him in another thread, but there’s a former guitar player who contracted ALS (?) at 22. He wasn’t given much time to live when diagnosed, but he’s still alive at the age of 54. He can longer speak or move anything except maybe his eyes. His father helped develop computer technology to enable him to communicate and even compose music using his eye movement.
His name is Jason Becker. There are RUclips videos available to hear his story.
Seeing you react to some of my favorite Metallica songs really helped alleviate some pent up emotions I’ve had over the years. I haven’t heard these songs in awhile so this brought back many memories and emotions. Thank you for helping others. Consider watching “The day that never comes” by Metallica it was also another one of me and my older brothers favorites.
Based off the movie Johnney got his gun. A WW1 story where a solder is horribly wounded, loosing there eyes voice herring arms and legs. It was not based off any real person but my Mom was doing research for the CDC back in 98 on the Spanish flue outbake in ww1 and she ran across a file of a soldier who this fit to a tee. She was a mess after reading the file on him and I could not bring myself to.
There were people so horribly injured in WW1 that they were locked to distant rooms in hospitals. In some cases they even told their relatives they had died to spare them from the pain of seeing how little was left of their loved one. In which case there was absolutely no one visiting them.
So while the novel, movie and this song are not directly about any single real person, the themes certainly are based on real life.
Metallica does have songs that aren't depressing too.
I know it's sort of the basis of your channel, but you should check out their other awesome music too.
When i saw you were going to react to this, I was... very concerned, to say the least. After watching, I have to say, i am amazed at how much you've grown and learned. I am very inspired by the strength in vulnerability you displayed here, and if i may say, I am very proud of you for that. Thank you.
This was my first experience with Metallica as a teenager watching the video on MTV. Few songs have ever impacted me harder.The definition of living Hell. Now thirty years later as a Veteran who has fought in a war I am grateful for not having such a fate.
When I first chose to learn to play the electric guitar, I took on this song, today, my band & I cover this song to dedicate all veterans regardless of age, rank, alive or deceased. We play it every veterans day.
Great tribute!
@@MentalAmanda also Return To Serenity by Testament, you'll definitely love that one.
May you always be extraordinary Amanda
This is my favorite song from Metallica. Yes as others said, this is based off of Johnny Got His Gun, a book and movie (where this footage is from). Very tragic story, and quite real for anyone that's ever been in war... this stuff happens. This song came out in the late 1980s, and yes, was extremely powerful and real. I just found you on here and saw the "Fade To Black" video first. I too am one that has battled mental illness... over 43 years now, but I am still here. Thank you for all you do here, you are making a difference.
I am glad you are still here. Welcome to our community!!!!!
@@MentalAmanda awww... thank you dear Amanda. I appreciate you.
Just want to thank you for what you are doing to help people.
From the first time I heard this song, it was actually not as cliche as in the video about soldiers dying, maimed and suffering. but the song is about giving voice to frustrated people in their lives, depression who need mental help. Metallica's lyrics are mostly genius metaphors. Here, Amanda from the beginning of the song has been very intelligent and careful in capturing the meaning of this masterpiece. Welldone!
This song was my intro to metal, especially thrash. I love this song. I was in a very bad place when I first heard this song in the late 80's, and it is sad, but somehow it helped me.
A teacher of mine in high school was a Vietnam Veteran, and read us Jonny Get Your Gun. It has stuck with me for life. I highly recommend reading it.
Amanda , you need to stay with us . I need you. You are a beautiful person ❤
I just watched your reaction to 'Fade to Black.' I have now managed to wipe my eyes. Have a like and new sub. All hail Amanda. Cheers and thanks.
We fight still.
BTW the interspersed video bits are from the film 'Johnny Got His Gun' (the guy playing the father is Jason Robards). The screenwriter, Dalton Trumbo, based it on his own novel (an incredible anti-war screed) of the same name. Trumbo was blacklisted in Hollywood after he ran afoul of the House of Unamerican Activities in the 1950s.
The movie clips are from a movie based on the book Johnny Got His Gun.
This is very relevant today because the injuries sustained in today's conflicts would have been fatal in generations past, so now we have veterans with multiple amputation and traumatic brain injuries surviving with little to no VA care able to help.
Coming out of such a severe procedure as decerebration; he would have likely had emergence delirium; as I did earlier after a near-fatal transplant with complations: no concept of self, location, or awareness. I did 40+ days of this.
I think people really deepening the lyrics more than they really are. This song is about this feeling of disassociation, hatred, anger, fear, sadness, to a mind numbing effect of wanting to kill yourself. The man portrayed is suffering ptsd and is a state of paralysis and numbness that only other vets can understand
My dad was a WWII and Korea veteran. He had PTSD, but in the 70’s doctors didn’t know what it was and mental health was not discussed. My dad smoked for years, he had a heart attack and died. I was 17.
It's heartbreaking that it took so long as a society to recognize PTSD and all the loss that happened in the mean time. My dad was a veteran and smoker and died when I was 20 so, while I can't say I know how you feel, I can say that I know how earth shattering his death must have been for you. I know mine was for me. Feel free to share your favorite memories of him here so we can help keep his spirit alive.
The song is based on a movie which in turn is based on the book "Johnny Got His Gun" by Dalton Trumbo. Dalton was a Hollywood screenwriter who got blacklisted during the McCarthy era. His book was later banned from libraries and universities during the Vietnam War.
Johnny was hit by a landmine and lost his arms, legs, ears, eyes and face. He was presumed unconscious, but by banging the back of his head against his pillow, his nurse discovered that he was trying to communicate with morse code. She used her hand to tap back answers on his chest.
At the end of the book Johnny morse codes a request to be taken to Washington and shown to all the politicians and public so that the people who start wars can see what their decisions do to people. A general tells him no, that no one will learn he exists. The general then leaves him to remain alone in his inner prison for the rest of his life.
The lyrics are based on the 1939 novel Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo, which is about World War I. A specific passage that inspired the song is:
"How could a man lose as much of himself as I have and still live? When a man buys a lottery ticket you never expect him to win because it's a million to one shot. But if he does win, you'll believe it because one in a million still leaves one. If I'd read about a guy like me in the paper I wouldn't believe it, cos it's a million to one. But a million to ONE always leaves one. I'd never expect it to happen to me because the odds of it happening are a million to one. But a million to one always leaves one. One."
The scenes in this video are from the 1970's movie, "Johnny Got His Gun" and the associated book, originally written in 1938. James Hetfield was inspired to write this song after seeing the film.
Johnny was a soldier in World War One. He is caught in an explosion that leaves him with no arms, no legs, no face, no ears. He cannot speak, hear, or see - has no sense of time or where he is, and is fed through a tube and breathing through a respirator.
I have always interpreted the cut scenes within the song as what is happening to Johnny in the real world.
The moments of the song where Johnny is "thinking out loud" are his conscious mind, and James Hetfields voice is his subconscious mind. This was triggered - for me - by Johnny's thought, "I don't know if I'm alive and dreaming, or dead and remembering?"
From that point on, the music builds and builds, which - again, to me - signaled the growing conflict between the two sides of Johnny's mind as he dips further and further into insanity. By the time Kirk Hammett's guitar solo hits, (and hits hard), I've always pictured that as the final "battle" between Johnny's conscious and subconscious mind, with the final "S.O.S. Help me..." mantra at the conclusion signifying that Johnny's mind is the same as his body, reduced to "one" singular, autonomic thought.
Nothing else of him remains from that point forward. Johnny has gone, and only the breathing corpse remains until he would die of old age.
At the end, the crowd singing "Keep the Home Fires Burning" symbolizes how society went on and forgot about him, (and the veterans in general).
If you listen to this song from that perspective, you will be bawling by the end.
It is such a powerful video and song.
Oh WOW, I've heard that song alot but never watched the video. That just blew my mind. I'm sorry that you almost had a panic attack. It saddened my heart when the young man was sending an S.O.S for help and wanted them to end his life. The following statement was that he is a product of yours, not mine. It's really sad because that kind of mentality still goes on today. I really felt for the young man. Thank you again for your viewpoint on this video. ❤you Amanda and keep it coming. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I’m proud of you, You are super brave to make it through this song. I myself didn’t suffer through any of that but I tear up every time I listen to this song. It’s a hard song for me to me to listen to. But it’s an important song nonetheless. It shows the horrors of war.
4:31 Metallica also have a song called "Disposable Heroes", which hits pretty hard.
amazing song and reaction! feels like im listening for the first time again!
❤ I feel for you Amanda
Your videos have helped me "deal" with things. Keep up the good fight. You made me emotional too.
Try being paralyzed for the better part of two months and being in an induced coma. I was suffering from guilainne barre syndrome. It’s an autoimmune disorder and I felt as if my body was on fire. My nervous system was being attacked from my own body. This song sums up my feelings of isolation and not being able to communicate. Paralyzed and with a trach there was no talking for me. I ended up in icu psychosis. Terrible Hell of a place to be!
I can't imagine. My sympathies and I hope for a brighter future. Thanks for sharing.
It’s One of the best but heartbreaking songs next to Daddy by Korn which is about child SA and child abuse the Singer is a survivor telling his story about one of his babysitter/ family friend who was this women who did it to him multiple times but when he told his parents they diden’t believe him and at the end he breaks down crying everything comes flowing out poor guy i wanna hug him but i read after the song was done his bandmates did come in to the vocal booth for a group hug they were way before their time this was somewhere in the 90s and now we have artists like Melanie Martinez, NF, Conan Gray
Both the song and video are deep. Metallica and Sabaton are two of my favorite metal bands due to their deep lyrics.
I was living with no hope when I first heard Metallica. The emotional release their music gave me, and still gives me, put me on a path to healing.
But this song...to me One is two different songs. The album version and the video version. The album version is a powerful, strength enhancing, outlet for raging against the machine which leaves me feeling stronger and angrier at the injustices of the world. The music video though just make me cry, especially when I ponder the futile nature of war. Don't get me wrong, I still love both versions, but experiencing it Live is something else.
One of their most famous song but so touching it's take ptsd issues and level up to the extreme consequences saddenly nothing more to say that doesn't has say it about this song and video as well before i knew this would be hard to you listen to and visualize also but I think you're a strong woman at this point of ur life journey greetings Amanda keeps healthy 😊
This is an incredibly difficult song to analyze simply because of the subject matter. The movie “Johnny Got His Gun” is even darker than the clips shown in this video. I tip my hat to your bravery and intestinal fortitude in delving into it.
Mandy, I absolutely adore your kind, authentic soul and, your powerful insights regarding the music reactions you share with us.
Thanks for not being icky and cheating on me! ... !!! ... When this song was written, recorded, and performed in 1988, PTSD was still referred to as Shell Shock and/or Weakness while the term PTSD was still gaining ground, despite the fact that the movie clips are from the *1971* film *Johnny Got His Gun.* ... FYI, the Army Slogan during WWI was *Johnny Get Your Gun.* So, this is what happened when Johnny Got His Gun.
P.S. I understand that you're not a fan of Heavy Metal and I respect that. To each her own, but Heavy Metal is often about these emotions and disagreements that we have with that thing that we call *Society.*
P.P.S. The way you collected yourself at 8:18 is beyond admirable and what we should all be striving for. It's not always easy, and definitely exhausting, but something that we should strive and focus for. 🙂
Thank you. I am learning to really appreciate all music.
Its an extremely powerful filmclip. I remember watching this for the first time when i was in high school when it was first released and watching it again just now ...brilliant executed song, clip...amazing work from metallica at the same time very confronting and even somewhat disturbing.
James Hetfield said on the Howard Stern show that after his mom died when he was 13 he felt that he was the “one” all all alone in the world. Writing this song was like therapy later in life for him.
I was brought up like a lot of boys where of the era, play with your GI Joes, watch war movies, play "war" as kids, hear about do your duty as a good American patriot and enlist in the arm forces etc. I've had relatives who were in war, most notably my grandfather who was in World War 2. He ended up drinking himself to death. So I had the mindset to enlist when I graduated school. But as I became an older teenager, I listen to metal bands like Metallica and Slayer, who bring up war in their songs. So with some wisdom gains I started to look at war movies differently like Platoon and Full Metal Jacket and understand the message they are trying to tell the viewer. I graduated in 90 and the First Gulf War got under way. A lot of my friends enlisted and I'm like no, not me. I'm not going to put my life on the line for saving some rich man's oil. We've fought a lot of wars that we had no business getting into but that's what happens when you have politicians and having their agendas who make the decisions. Don't get me wrong, there comes a time when you do have to fight, like if someone invaded America, I'll be up front leading the charge or World War 2, that was a necessary involvement we needed to win.
I was 12 when this song came out, and just starting to accept thenot quite but still loss of my mother, who has been comatose since her brain tumor surgery just after my 9th birthday.
My dad always pointed out the obviously more depressing aspects, never once admitting his own anger about how we lost her, while i took the angry yet mournful tone to be theraputic for me in its own right. It really helped me process my feelings, which ran the gamut and thus needed addressing...
I share this with you because i appreciated your open struggle with the song, and how well you explained your interpretations as well as your not fully formed realization of just how trapped the man felt...
And once you mentioned that being a deep seeded fear of yours, i knew the next realizations would (forgive me) "rock you", and with every twitch and recoil, i literally felt your reaction, far more than any words could have covered, even if scripted by Shakespeare's Spokesman!
Thank you so much for sharing such a deeply personal story. Music can be such a powerful tool for navigating emotions, especially during difficult times like the one you faced with your mother.
It's understandable that your dad focused on the more depressing aspects, as everyone processes grief and loss differently. It sounds like you found a unique and therapeutic way to address your own feelings through the song's tone. Your words mean a lot to me, and I'm grateful for the connection we share through this experience. Music's ability to convey and evoke such deep emotions is truly incredible, and I'm honored that my exploration of the song had such an impact on you. Thank you again for opening up and for your kind words-they truly touch my heart.
Seeing your reaction felt like experiencing the song for the first time again.
There is another song with a theme of not being heard, not in a literal sense like this one, but more like a feeling of being trapped and ignored by people around you. Scream by Krypteria. It's one of those songs where the music has slightly different energy from the lyrics, but a couple of years ago, I found myself relating to that kind of feeling. Just a note if anyone wants to hear it, the pre-chorus (I guess that's what it is) goes by fast, and the singer does have an accent so it could be hard to understand, just going by the audio the first time.