If you’re autistic, you probably feel misunderstood often - and being labeled self centered or narcissistic is just one part of that. Here’s our video on the double empathy and miscommunication: ruclips.net/video/-a2O3bjLrsc/видео.html And don’t forget to share your experiences too! ⤵️ We learn a lot from everyone here in this awesome community
Side bar: I was in a situation recently, and unsurprisingly, I was experiencing social anxiety. My brain said, "SHYYYY!" and gave me a giggle and the ability to relax a little. Thanks, as always, for your thoughtful videos.
@@Stormbrise oh gosh yes! My mom was a narcissist with TBI. It was ROUGH growing up and I struggled to figure out what was true and what was her manipulated truth. She once (accidentally) slammed my fingers in the car door (I was 6 or 7 and afraid of a drs appt) because she was angry that I was scared. When I said OWWW too loudly for her liking, she said that was god punishing me. No ownership of her emotions or actions and never ever an ounce, a drip of empathy....yet SHE demanded it from us.
I got called a narcissist once when a friend told me her pet died. She told me over text when I was having a meltdown myself, and I remember that I didn't wanna let it out on her, but knew she would be upset if i wouldn't reply at all, so i said "I'm sorry for your loss but I'll talk to you later, i don't feel so good." A couple weeks later she ended the friendship when we had a big dispute because she said I'm never there when she needs me and always prioritize my own mental health over her feelings and even forgot about her birthday. Still to this day I'm so upset with how things ended because there was a lot more to that but in the end she made me look like the bad guy in front of our friends. Even though I was letting her live at my place for months when she had no where to go and even gave her a couple hundreds of starter money when she got an apartment. I don't know why people always forget the treatment over years when it comes to issues like that. I asked myself far too long if it was really all my fault since I didn't know that im autistic back then but eventually even if I knew and she knew, people always tell me she wasn't a real friend and just took advantage of me so I'll never truly know. Sorry for this long TMI 😅
Just wondering if you and Debby have ever considered writing a book? I Love your content. It is so relatable and I have learned so much about myself and my AUDHD. Thank you both for the content you share. 🙂
I can pay much more attention to people without eye contact. Eye contact makes me focus 100% on the eye contact. Is this okay? Isn't it too much? Am I not being creepy right now? How many times am I supposed to look away? There's so much to regulate that I CANNOT at the same time devote all my attention to what is being said.
I have actually had a relationship with someone who is on the spectrum and also is a narcissist. It's a VERY interesting combination. I'd say he was one of the vulnerable/covert types. Because of his autism, he lacked the "social smoothness" that many narcissists have and his socialization was/is rather clunky and hasn't given him many friends. But, boy oh boy, did he really treat people (including me) like objects for whatever use he saw fit. If you didn't do what he wanted, he'd just toss you out like an old appliance and then when he lost supply, he'd try to worm his way back in. It's kind of a dangerous combo because for people with AuDHD (newly diagnosed) like myself, you feel this deep kinship and connection with another neurodivergent person, yet they are actually very different and actually don't have empathy at all. It's wild and something I'm still recovering from. I think this video was very helpful and coming back to the key difference - narcissists lack empathy and that truly distinguishes them. Having seen both, I can attest to this.
I'm so sorry you went through this. Question, was your ex actually diagnosed with either or. I'm not doubting you at all but I commented above you and I went through a similar thing, he stole everything I ownd and I've been fighting my A hole for 5 years in court over custody matters. But in the court finding though all this it came to light that my ex lied about reviving a Asperger's diagnosis back in the 90s , he was not autistic at all and I was not his first or last autistic women victim. I got suckered for 6 years forgiving his autistic quirks that became abusive because he out up with my AÛDHD quirks and I thought we had a unique understanding of each other, both being on the spectrum but it turns out he is not. He has found another autistic women to torture since and I tried to warn her but I just found like a jilted ex. She have given everything up for him including her kid and now has her living in a isolated country town away from all her supports. It will end badly.
I've listened to so many videos about autism and, of course we resist change, but for some reason the clip of you and Debbie talking about which way to walk, reminded me of a time about 12 years ago when my ex tried to tell me I wasn't supposed to walk my dogs the same way every time and I was horrified by that concept. 😂😂😂 Looking back now, it makes so much sense that I literally laughed so hard that I cried! And PS, my current dog has walked the same walk everyday of her four years of life and she loves it! We go different places to explore when we're feeling up to it, but the tried and true always brings us back to ourselves. 😊💛💛💛
If you wanna hear from a person who’s been studying narcissism for literally years due to the fact that I was labeled a narcissist, then found out later that I was autistic, but I did have quite a bit of narcissistic tendencies, and some things that can be perceived as narcissistic tendencies. There’s a big overlap difference in a lot of areas. Narcissist: are not blind to their motives or emotions they can be in denial at times which is a form of blindness, but it’s the psyche blocking itself. Autistic people can have narcissistic tendencies, but that also comes from a lack of understanding of others in the social nuances that are expected from the social construct of what neurotic individuals have in mind . Autistic people might be limited in some areas where our emotions strongly understood by ourselves or our emotions stop at a certain point and they level off instead continuously growing up like other people we might have a monotone expression Narcissist manipulators Autistic people can also learn manipulative. Tactics not meant for malicious intent, but survival mechanisms. Usually it is from years of abuse they become codependent and no matter what codependent does not mean you are fragile victim codependent means that you can have some manipulative tendencies To it shortly, a narcissist from a artist person can be actually difficult at times, depending on the severity of the psychological issues autistic people are not genuinely trying to be narcissistic. They just don’t understand because they have a limited understanding in certain areas you have to approach each individual from a different angle to try to figure out. How can you reach that spot of logical understanding and emotional awareness. A narcissist unfortunately, is someone who is in literal law, law world, denial, and will not choose to go out of their grandiose personification of who they are or if they are a vulnerable narcissist then they will try to act like the victim become a master manipulator, and they will try to make you feel bad for them all the time . I could break down even more explained,
One thing I learned to pull myself away from things that look like narcissism is when you’re in a relationship and it’s either you’re right or you’re wrong sometimes being wrong in the argument as in letting the other person win is the better way to go about it, even if you know that they are factually wrong about a subject That you hundred percent know is true relationship dynamic you have to give up a certain form of correctness to be able to flow correctly with your partner sometimes you have to let someone else be wrong but still be right. It’s so that you can keep the relationship from having some major problems I figured out through my experiences.
The bloopers at the end is my new favorite thing ever. Watched it like 10 times already. Love it. I do the same heaps when I'm alone. I make weird noises and say things in funny ways to test how it sounds.
Hi, Chris and Debby Thanks to a certain political figure constantly being described as narcissistic I became interested in the subject. Thanks to the RUclips algorithms I quickly found all the videos that led to my self diagnosis as AuDhd (previously officially diagnosed ADHD). This is the first video I have come across that directly compares the two. Very relatable.Thank you.
Somehow the way Chris went "good god man" in the end with the British accent instead reminded of charles boyle from Brooklyn 99 going turkey day! "Gobble gobble!" 🙈🤣 this has nothing to do with anything but my brain made connections and now I am gobbling along. And on a more serious note, Thank you so so so much for wording this like you did. And this video couldn't have come to me at a more perfect time. I had a fight with one of my closest people because of being perceived self-centered and misunderstood and the whole double empathy of it and was spiraling and contemplating if our friendship is going to survive this fight. So, thank you for this. I really needed this. Definitely looking forward to the cognitive distortion video next!
@@jackluzzy When the video is programmed we can comment about it. And this topic is one of those I'm very concerned about. Because we are mostly good victims of narcissistic people.
I think one of the other reasons might be that people keep insisting on asking all these questions they never really wanted an actual answer to. So the, or so I was told, ritual words of 'Morning, how are you?' answered with a 5min explanation of how things are actually going - that's considered self-centered. BTW: so is just ignoring all the people in the hall who may or may not be attempting to use me in a ritual. I'm pretty sure I zoned out for a few days trying to fit this into the universe (and wondering why no one ever told me this before), and may have decided I don't care. People can either learn to not ask me questions they don't want answered, cut me off when I answer the non-questions, ignore me, put up with it, or go with the flow. But not answering questions makes my brain feel funny, and I don't like you enough to put up with that.
Meditation practices have been helpful with regards to turning down the volume on my monkey brain. And, I love the endings of these videos. This one in particular: I do accents too, repeating a phrase over and over with varying emphases. With no purpose, no reason, other than it's fun to do variations of a phrase, in life as in music.
When I want a good read of someone, i do make eye contact. Thats why I avoid it with my friends. I can't help but see every little emote peek through and I can see a lie before it leaves the mouth. It took me a while to realize this but now I know.
I was diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder because I chronically avoid so many things. But they discounted my autism because of my social engagement
I had no idea they all grouped under 'cognitive distortions' and yes I have them all, except what is wrong about it? if I did not, and it is hard to tell if I did not I would probably develop that kind of aptitude myself anyway, very rational, and logical. And ruminating over bad things people did/can do/might do/will do to us is not being paranoid if it is based on past events as basis for avoidance in the future What is wrong with the word they want to paint everything grey, sweep under carpet, and pretend it does not exist/affect them, so we have wars, hunger, children abused, and other things some people would do to other since they would avoid repercussions anyway easily, so yes I would rather go black and white thinking to have it straight
People tend to assume that all behavior is self directed and conscious, which is really not the case for anyone. But when I am behaving in ways that, I acknowledge, seem egocentric, and in some ways are - monologuing is my biggest issue - I’m anything but self directed. I really try to thwart that these days, but I never do great and sometimes cannot control myself. At those times, I’m engaging in addictive behavior, and my addiction is the little hit of dopamine I get from anticipating the next thing out of my mouth. I don’t say that it’s desirable behavior, or that it’s not difficult for other people to deal with. But it’s not because I’m full of myself: I hate the idea of being self aggrandizing, I’m very self critical, and I really can’t stand the idea of someone thinking they are better than other people, especially me. My desire not to do that has tended to drive down my self esteem. Of course, when I say that, it sounds self aggrandizing and self justifying to some people. But what I’m trying to do is what you described: explain how things actually work with me, the good and the bad. Or as I put it to someone who once accused me online of being a narcissist: “I am not the kind of sh*t you think I am. I am a different kind of sh*
Some are both. It is less likely, because autism implies that a person seeks relevance and logics, and narcissism is flawed and full of irrelevance. But doesn’t personality remain?
To be fair, ive never heard an autistic person suggest that someone could be both narcissistic and autistic. If ive learned anything, exclusive difference is a sign of dis-identification - whether that dis-identification exists for honest reasons or not
Cognitive distortions, I looked it up in a dictionary and they had my picture next to the words 😳. Oh my goodness, this is so me. But, I realize that there is another perspective I just don’t know how to have that other perspective. It just doesn’t come to my mind. I want to have another perspective, but NOTHING comes to mind in that situation, whatever it might be.
There are so many points that hit home for me in this video. I’m still reeling, like my brain can’t take it all in. For sure I do not have ADHD. I have a lot of learning difficulties. When I’m in my brain I don’t have a million thoughts going on, I just like it there because it’s a lot more peaceful than the world around me.
The comment about the conversations, when to say something and then it has changed, cracked me up. It’s ssssoooo accurate. Or the part about not being interested in the subject. Criticism oh yes, it’s so hard to hear, but I don’t even realize when I give it. And then people don’t tell me that they’re upset with me until they end up being really mad and nasty because they held it in too long.
Chris- do you really not know? Because I don’t have a good solution to offer but… guess you’re just being tactful but I was just trying to have a life I never did. This is a great video but does cover something up possibly via repetition sorry to get sad on this
Also, I wanna know where you got your factual evidence about only 3% of autistic people have been diagnosed with NPD and ASD. Where did you pull that information from? I wish to research.
NPD is one of the most stigmatized disorders on the planet and this video really does not help, it really comes across like rather than trying to dispel the stigma associated with autism, this video is about transferring that stigma to NPD. using "narcissist" as a synonym for "self-centered and abusive" is no different to using "psychotic" as a synonym for "violent sadist."
I see a lot of confusion about NPD and autism. Autistic folks (as I'm one) do not use folks for our benefit, but narcissists do, they have empathy, but chose to use it to manipulate folks, suck them dry and then discard, and find a "fresh kill", so to speak to retain their energies. Autism folks do not do this. We do have empathy, but do relate to others and try to help, if we can. However, we will not manipulate others for our gain. It's not in our nature. For a good example, just observe Donald Trump, he's undiagnosed most likely but every psychologist has possited, narcissism. That is, likely a malignant (the worst type) of narcissism. He shows very much the classic textbook signs of it, and perhaps sociapathy, as his father was a sociopath.
As someone who has suffered narcissistic abuse, it honestly should be stigmatized because those people can literally be diabolical - even dangerous. There's a reason it's part of the Cluster B personality types along with psychopaths and sociopaths. I think our society should stop labelling all "selfish" people as narcissists and throwing the term around casually, but people do need to learn what a true narcissist is because they are dangerous, toxic, and frankly can and do ruin lives. The point I thought was important that Chris made was that the biggest difference is that narcissists lack empathy, and autistic people don't. Autism is stigmatized enough so helping people to understand key differences like this is very important.
Those are not valid comparissons. Psychotic people are not completely in contact with reality. Narcissistics do and they get their shot of selfsteem by hurting others.
i think thats a pretty inaccurate takeaway from this video. i don’t think its really intended to “dispel the stigma” of anything. it’s basically just a video venn diagram between NPD and Autism, which seems reasonable to me considering the amount of overlap in symptoms between the two. i actually found this to be one of the more caring and informed discussions around NPD that i’ve encountered on youtube. I’m curious as to what gave you the impression that chris was using the term “narcissistic” as a synonym for “self centered and abusive”. he does state that autism can present in ways that may appear self centered then explains how that differs clinically from NPD symptoms. he never claims one is morally superior to the other, and there’s nothing that implies people with NPD don’t deserve the same love and care as everyone else. the ultimate goal is most likely to better understand autism, as that is what he has personal experience with and has centered the channel around, but stating truths about autism and truths about NPD and explaining how they are different doesn’t strike me as transferring stigma but rather providing clarity around two very misunderstood and stigmatized diagnoses.
If you’re autistic, you probably feel misunderstood often - and being labeled self centered or narcissistic is just one part of that. Here’s our video on the double empathy and miscommunication:
ruclips.net/video/-a2O3bjLrsc/видео.html
And don’t forget to share your experiences too! ⤵️ We learn a lot from everyone here in this awesome community
Elon Musk is almost certainly in that 6.4%.
Side bar: I was in a situation recently, and unsurprisingly, I was experiencing social anxiety. My brain said, "SHYYYY!" and gave me a giggle and the ability to relax a little. Thanks, as always, for your thoughtful videos.
love this! i found myself stimming with this word the other day after watching the video 🤣🤣🫶🫶🫶
Not to mention we are also scapegoated by Narcissists on a regular basis.
Targeted by them!!!
@@Stormbrise oh gosh yes! My mom was a narcissist with TBI. It was ROUGH growing up and I struggled to figure out what was true and what was her manipulated truth. She once (accidentally) slammed my fingers in the car door (I was 6 or 7 and afraid of a drs appt) because she was angry that I was scared. When I said OWWW too loudly for her liking, she said that was god punishing me. No ownership of her emotions or actions and never ever an ounce, a drip of empathy....yet SHE demanded it from us.
I was raised by a narcissist. Because of her I have zero struggles seeing lies. Even small ones make a change in someone's mannerisms.
No wait why is this true…and it’s so easy too 😭
It happened before I knew it.
I got called a narcissist once when a friend told me her pet died. She told me over text when I was having a meltdown myself, and I remember that I didn't wanna let it out on her, but knew she would be upset if i wouldn't reply at all, so i said "I'm sorry for your loss but I'll talk to you later, i don't feel so good." A couple weeks later she ended the friendship when we had a big dispute because she said I'm never there when she needs me and always prioritize my own mental health over her feelings and even forgot about her birthday. Still to this day I'm so upset with how things ended because there was a lot more to that but in the end she made me look like the bad guy in front of our friends. Even though I was letting her live at my place for months when she had no where to go and even gave her a couple hundreds of starter money when she got an apartment. I don't know why people always forget the treatment over years when it comes to issues like that. I asked myself far too long if it was really all my fault since I didn't know that im autistic back then but eventually even if I knew and she knew, people always tell me she wasn't a real friend and just took advantage of me so I'll never truly know. Sorry for this long TMI 😅
Just wondering if you and Debby have ever considered writing a book? I Love your content. It is so relatable and I have learned so much about myself and my AUDHD. Thank you both for the content you share. 🙂
I can pay much more attention to people without eye contact. Eye contact makes me focus 100% on the eye contact. Is this okay? Isn't it too much? Am I not being creepy right now? How many times am I supposed to look away? There's so much to regulate that I CANNOT at the same time devote all my attention to what is being said.
Do you want me to look at you or do you want me to actually hear what you are saying?
Same...
I have actually had a relationship with someone who is on the spectrum and also is a narcissist. It's a VERY interesting combination. I'd say he was one of the vulnerable/covert types. Because of his autism, he lacked the "social smoothness" that many narcissists have and his socialization was/is rather clunky and hasn't given him many friends. But, boy oh boy, did he really treat people (including me) like objects for whatever use he saw fit. If you didn't do what he wanted, he'd just toss you out like an old appliance and then when he lost supply, he'd try to worm his way back in. It's kind of a dangerous combo because for people with AuDHD (newly diagnosed) like myself, you feel this deep kinship and connection with another neurodivergent person, yet they are actually very different and actually don't have empathy at all. It's wild and something I'm still recovering from. I think this video was very helpful and coming back to the key difference - narcissists lack empathy and that truly distinguishes them. Having seen both, I can attest to this.
Ditto
I'm so sorry you went through this.
Question, was your ex actually diagnosed with either or.
I'm not doubting you at all but I commented above you and I went through a similar thing, he stole everything I ownd and I've been fighting my A hole for 5 years in court over custody matters.
But in the court finding though all this it came to light that my ex lied about reviving a Asperger's diagnosis back in the 90s , he was not autistic at all and I was not his first or last autistic women victim.
I got suckered for 6 years forgiving his autistic quirks that became abusive because he out up with my AÛDHD quirks and I thought we had a unique understanding of each other, both being on the spectrum but it turns out he is not.
He has found another autistic women to torture since and I tried to warn her but I just found like a jilted ex.
She have given everything up for him including her kid and now has her living in a isolated country town away from all her supports.
It will end badly.
Kinda new here and hooting and snorting at your clever insights …great…
I've listened to so many videos about autism and, of course we resist change, but for some reason the clip of you and Debbie talking about which way to walk, reminded me of a time about 12 years ago when my ex tried to tell me I wasn't supposed to walk my dogs the same way every time and I was horrified by that concept. 😂😂😂
Looking back now, it makes so much sense that I literally laughed so hard that I cried! And PS, my current dog has walked the same walk everyday of her four years of life and she loves it! We go different places to explore when we're feeling up to it, but the tried and true always brings us back to ourselves. 😊💛💛💛
If you wanna hear from a person who’s been studying narcissism for literally years due to the fact that I was labeled a narcissist, then found out later that I was autistic, but I did have quite a bit of narcissistic tendencies, and some things that can be perceived as narcissistic tendencies. There’s a big overlap difference in a lot of areas.
Narcissist: are not blind to their motives or emotions they can be in denial at times which is a form of blindness, but it’s the psyche blocking itself.
Autistic people can have narcissistic tendencies, but that also comes from a lack of understanding of others in the social nuances that are expected from the social construct of what neurotic individuals have in mind .
Autistic people might be limited in some areas where our emotions strongly understood by ourselves or our emotions stop at a certain point and they level off instead continuously growing up like other people we might have a monotone expression
Narcissist manipulators
Autistic people can also learn manipulative. Tactics not meant for malicious intent, but survival mechanisms. Usually it is from years of abuse they become codependent and no matter what codependent does not mean you are fragile victim codependent means that you can have some manipulative tendencies
To it shortly, a narcissist from a artist person can be actually difficult at times, depending on the severity of the psychological issues autistic people are not genuinely trying to be narcissistic. They just don’t understand because they have a limited understanding in certain areas you have to approach each individual from a different angle to try to figure out. How can you reach that spot of logical understanding and emotional awareness.
A narcissist unfortunately, is someone who is in literal law, law world, denial, and will not choose to go out of their grandiose personification of who they are or if they are a vulnerable narcissist then they will try to act like the victim become a master manipulator, and they will try to make you feel bad for them all the time .
I could break down even more explained,
2:41 I don’t know why, but this little clip totally disoriented my train of thought within this whole video
One thing I learned to pull myself away from things that look like narcissism is when you’re in a relationship and it’s either you’re right or you’re wrong sometimes being wrong in the argument as in letting the other person win is the better way to go about it, even if you know that they are factually wrong about a subject That you hundred percent know is true relationship dynamic you have to give up a certain form of correctness to be able to flow correctly with your partner sometimes you have to let someone else be wrong but still be right. It’s so that you can keep the relationship from having some major problems I figured out through my experiences.
The bloopers at the end is my new favorite thing ever. Watched it like 10 times already. Love it. I do the same heaps when I'm alone. I make weird noises and say things in funny ways to test how it sounds.
Hi, Chris and Debby Thanks to a certain political figure constantly being described as narcissistic I became interested in the subject. Thanks to the RUclips algorithms I quickly found all the videos that led to my self diagnosis as AuDhd (previously officially diagnosed ADHD). This is the first video I have come across that directly compares the two. Very relatable.Thank you.
🌻 All of this.
Yeah! All of them.
Somehow the way Chris went "good god man" in the end with the British accent instead reminded of charles boyle from Brooklyn 99 going turkey day! "Gobble gobble!" 🙈🤣 this has nothing to do with anything but my brain made connections and now I am gobbling along.
And on a more serious note, Thank you so so so much for wording this like you did. And this video couldn't have come to me at a more perfect time. I had a fight with one of my closest people because of being perceived self-centered and misunderstood and the whole double empathy of it and was spiraling and contemplating if our friendship is going to survive this fight. So, thank you for this. I really needed this. Definitely looking forward to the cognitive distortion video next!
All of this resonated with me. Thanks for the info Chris. 😊
We are very frequently mislead.
How did you post a comment before the post itself was posted? The vid was 20 mins ago and the comment is 7h???
@@jackluzzy When the video is programmed we can comment about it. And this topic is one of those I'm very concerned about.
Because we are mostly good victims of narcissistic people.
I think one of the other reasons might be that people keep insisting on asking all these questions they never really wanted an actual answer to. So the, or so I was told, ritual words of 'Morning, how are you?' answered with a 5min explanation of how things are actually going - that's considered self-centered. BTW: so is just ignoring all the people in the hall who may or may not be attempting to use me in a ritual.
I'm pretty sure I zoned out for a few days trying to fit this into the universe (and wondering why no one ever told me this before), and may have decided I don't care. People can either learn to not ask me questions they don't want answered, cut me off when I answer the non-questions, ignore me, put up with it, or go with the flow. But not answering questions makes my brain feel funny, and I don't like you enough to put up with that.
Thanks, I particularly enjoyed today's episode.
Do you find it's easier to look into the camera when making videos than it is when you are looking at someone's face? Just curious.
Meditation practices have been helpful with regards to turning down the volume on my monkey brain. And, I love the endings of these videos. This one in particular: I do accents too, repeating a phrase over and over with varying emphases. With no purpose, no reason, other than it's fun to do variations of a phrase, in life as in music.
Thank you for your very much for your very informative video.
great video!
lmao oh man that car skit cracked me up xD thank you
When I want a good read of someone, i do make eye contact. Thats why I avoid it with my friends. I can't help but see every little emote peek through and I can see a lie before it leaves the mouth. It took me a while to realize this but now I know.
I was diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder because I chronically avoid so many things. But they discounted my autism because of my social engagement
Sometimes we chew on ideas, and sometimes ideas seem to chew on us!
I had no idea they all grouped under 'cognitive distortions' and yes I have them all, except what is wrong about it? if I did not, and it is hard to tell if I did not I would probably develop that kind of aptitude myself anyway, very rational, and logical. And ruminating over bad things people did/can do/might do/will do to us is not being paranoid if it is based on past events as basis for avoidance in the future
What is wrong with the word they want to paint everything grey, sweep under carpet, and pretend it does not exist/affect them, so we have wars, hunger, children abused, and other things some people would do to other since they would avoid repercussions anyway easily, so yes I would rather go black and white thinking to have it straight
🏆 Great Video. Thank You.
Exactly 😫💔😢
People tend to assume that all behavior is self directed and conscious, which is really not the case for anyone. But when I am behaving in ways that, I acknowledge, seem
egocentric, and in some ways are - monologuing is my biggest issue - I’m anything but self directed. I really try to thwart that these days, but I never do great and sometimes cannot control myself. At those times, I’m engaging in addictive behavior, and my addiction is the little hit of dopamine I get from anticipating the next thing out of my mouth. I don’t say that it’s desirable behavior, or that it’s not difficult for other people to deal with. But it’s not because I’m full of myself: I hate the idea of being self aggrandizing, I’m very self critical, and I really can’t stand the idea of someone thinking they are better than other people, especially me. My desire not to do that has tended to drive down my self esteem.
Of course, when I say that, it sounds self aggrandizing and self justifying to some people. But what I’m trying to do is what you described: explain how things actually work with me, the good and the bad. Or as I put it to someone who once accused me online of being a narcissist: “I am not the kind of sh*t you think I am. I am a different kind of sh*
lol filming the pillowcase kidnapping scenes must have looked a tad bit weird to onlookers! Did anyone venture to enquire what was going on?
My thought too...
so there was a 6.4% chance for my odds for a narcissist autistic mother... amazing
Some are both. It is less likely, because autism implies that a person seeks relevance and logics, and narcissism is flawed and full of irrelevance. But doesn’t personality remain?
I am like my cat - I only want attention when I am in the mood for it or lonely.
To be fair, ive never heard an autistic person suggest that someone could be both narcissistic and autistic.
If ive learned anything, exclusive difference is a sign of dis-identification - whether that dis-identification exists for honest reasons or not
Tactfulness = honesty with empathy
Cognitive distortions, I looked it up in a dictionary and they had my picture next to the words 😳. Oh my goodness, this is so me. But, I realize that there is another perspective I just don’t know how to have that other perspective. It just doesn’t come to my mind. I want to have another perspective, but NOTHING comes to mind in that situation, whatever it might be.
There are so many points that hit home for me in this video. I’m still reeling, like my brain can’t take it all in. For sure I do not have ADHD. I have a lot of learning difficulties. When I’m in my brain I don’t have a million thoughts going on, I just like it there because it’s a lot more peaceful than the world around me.
The comment about the conversations, when to say something and then it has changed, cracked me up. It’s ssssoooo accurate. Or the part about not being interested in the subject. Criticism oh yes, it’s so hard to hear, but I don’t even realize when I give it. And then people don’t tell me that they’re upset with me until they end up being really mad and nasty because they held it in too long.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Chris- do you really not know? Because I don’t have a good solution to offer but… guess you’re just being tactful but I was just trying to have a life I never did. This is a great video but does cover something up possibly via repetition sorry to get sad on this
Also, I wanna know where you got your factual evidence about only 3% of autistic people have been diagnosed with NPD and ASD. Where did you pull that information from? I wish to research.
NPD is one of the most stigmatized disorders on the planet and this video really does not help, it really comes across like rather than trying to dispel the stigma associated with autism, this video is about transferring that stigma to NPD. using "narcissist" as a synonym for "self-centered and abusive" is no different to using "psychotic" as a synonym for "violent sadist."
I see a lot of confusion about NPD and autism. Autistic folks (as I'm one) do not use folks for our benefit, but narcissists do, they have empathy, but chose to use it to manipulate folks, suck them dry and then discard, and find a "fresh kill", so to speak to retain their energies. Autism folks do not do this. We do have empathy, but do relate to others and try to help, if we can.
However, we will not manipulate others for our gain. It's not in our nature.
For a good example, just observe Donald Trump, he's undiagnosed most likely but every psychologist has possited, narcissism. That is, likely a malignant (the worst type) of narcissism. He shows very much the classic textbook signs of it, and perhaps sociapathy, as his father was a sociopath.
As someone who has suffered narcissistic abuse, it honestly should be stigmatized because those people can literally be diabolical - even dangerous. There's a reason it's part of the Cluster B personality types along with psychopaths and sociopaths. I think our society should stop labelling all "selfish" people as narcissists and throwing the term around casually, but people do need to learn what a true narcissist is because they are dangerous, toxic, and frankly can and do ruin lives. The point I thought was important that Chris made was that the biggest difference is that narcissists lack empathy, and autistic people don't. Autism is stigmatized enough so helping people to understand key differences like this is very important.
Those are not valid comparissons. Psychotic people are not completely in contact with reality. Narcissistics do and they get their shot of selfsteem by hurting others.
I did not see that in this video at all.
i think thats a pretty inaccurate takeaway from this video. i don’t think its really intended to “dispel the stigma” of anything. it’s basically just a video venn diagram between NPD and Autism, which seems reasonable to me considering the amount of overlap in symptoms between the two. i actually found this to be one of the more caring and informed discussions around NPD that i’ve encountered on youtube. I’m curious as to what gave you the impression that chris was using the term “narcissistic” as a synonym for “self centered and abusive”. he does state that autism can present in ways that may appear self centered then explains how that differs clinically from NPD symptoms. he never claims one is morally superior to the other, and there’s nothing that implies people with NPD don’t deserve the same love and care as everyone else. the ultimate goal is most likely to better understand autism, as that is what he has personal experience with and has centered the channel around, but stating truths about autism and truths about NPD and explaining how they are different doesn’t strike me as transferring stigma but rather providing clarity around two very misunderstood and stigmatized diagnoses.
7:09 whoever edits these: your brain is especially special. 🫶🏼
I had to replay it a couple times, too good
& I love the kidnapping part