The reason I watched/looked at triggering things was because I wanted to trigger myself. In no way was I trying to get away from it or fight it. I wanted to trigger myself so I would be "better" at my eating disorder. It was like motivation.. if that makes sense..
my favorite thing about Kati is when she's describing how brains work and the reasons behind certain behaviors, she uses the word "we." never "you." she includes herself in the description, includes everybody, because everyone's brain is CAPABLE of acting like this or that. she doesn't single us out, or make us feel "other." she says "we" and it groups us in with her, and normalizes it. i don't really know what i'm rambling about, i just really like that she's subtly breaking down the stigma of mental illness in the casual way she talks. She reminds me of a quote that I can't quite remember correctly? it's like... Be so much of yourself that others feel comfortable to do the same. It might not be "comfortable," it might be inspired, or confident. but yeah, that's what she reminds me of.
I watch a lot of triggering thing or read a lot of triggering things because it is something I know. It feel kinda close to me, if that makes sense. Ive been trying to recover so by watching or reading it...it almost tricks my brain into thinking im the person thats doing it. Thats just me.
sometimes i watch things that trigger me or stay in triggering environments because otherwise i feel numb. for whatever reason i think that feeling triggered is better than feeling nothing. idk but ive gotten a lot better at leaving triggering situations and ignoring things that would set me off so that i dont have to respond negatively to those situations
Re: Triggering Stuff/Poking the Bruise. I alway like watching SVU, and even Kati-Vids, because it makes me feel like there are people out there, especially generally healthy and whole people, who care about people like me. It's not so much about watching the events that happen, it's about watching the aftermath and responses from caring people. I watch because I want to be seen.
There’s this book I always reread whenever I’m feeling more depressed. It’s about how the guy self harms. It’s very descriptive and triggering. I read it over and over again.
I'm from England and here you have to be referred and meet all the criteria to go to an NHS facility (NHS is England's free National Health Service for anyone wondering). Because funding is so tight (and the government are cutting NHS funding even more) you can only get referred if your case is really severe, so sometimes even if you meet all of the criteria you won't get into an inpatient facility and will have to wait months or even years. However if you go through private healthcare you can admit yourself to an inpatient facility, and it's pretty easy to get in because so few people actually have private healthcare.
Katie, I'm a quiet follower... this video was SO helpful. Your question #3 is me to a T. I appreciate your content so much. I'm working my way through each of your videos and watch them while I get ready in the mornings. Thank you for all you do!!
Wow! I am so happy you answered the question about watching triggering stuff! I find myself watching triggering things sometimes and I beat myself up about even clicking it because I know it will be triggering and make me feel even worse. But with your explanation it makes sense. I will still try to stop when I find myself watching it again, but I can now try to not beat myself up about it. Thank you!! (Sometimes I am afraid that watching your videos might be triggering, that I might want to be more sick again - like I used to be - just so I would belong somewhere and all your advice would still be applicable to me. I am happy to notice more and more that even without being sick again there are still things I can learn/consider/think about thanks to you(r channel)!!
I struggle with a mood disorder currently, bipolar, which I believe is just recurrent or chronic depression, and yeah I do watch or listen to triggering stuff so I don't feel alone in my suffering or to have a good cry because that's what I need.
In Sweden, you call the psychiatric emergency, you talk to a nurse and tell them you need help and wants to see a doctor right away. The nurse decides if they drive out to pick you up (in a normal car, not ambulance) or if you are in a state to get there by yourself. After you arrive, depending on the number of other patients, you sit down with a nurse that sits with you until you get to see the Dr. If the Dr, based on the conversation, think's you need inpatient care - she or he will ask you IF YOU want to be inpatient. They can't just lock you up without your consent (if there isn't a court order where the state thinks you are a danger to yourself, but that is a whole law regarding that.). If you want to be an outpatient, you just ask to see the Dr, and anyhow you can just walk away if you like. In Sweden, you pay about 8 dollars/day for inpatient care. Seeing a Dr/therapist about 10 dollars/each time, until you've reached a total amount of 95 dollars/year, then you get a "free card" for all your appointments. All drugs/pills you might need during 1 year will never be a total amount over 150 dollars (after you paid that amount, it's free too).
+Ecila xo SO MUCH CHEEPER THAN NORTH AMERICA :O Here in Canada there's sometimes government funding/insurance coverage, but that can come with being on a long waiting list. www.cbc.ca/news/health/eating-disorder-patient-seeks-60k-online-for-health-care-1.2497052
Such a relief to know that it's normal to suddenly start getting hungry when you start eating again. It's really been scaring me. Struggling with it a lot. Love your vids. Thanks Kati!
Okay here’s the info as far as my experience in Scotland, UK. You can book a GP appointment (at any age, parents don’t have to be notified) and you essentially tell them everything about your ED. They will mostly likely refer you to either SAMH or CAMHS which have a long waiting list, however this is all free on the NHS. You are assessed for your risk, but everyone does get an appointment with them. They then asses your situation and can either start you outpatient working at home alone, start working with a constant ED team whilst at home, or you may be sent to an inpatient unit - they only will do this for cases where they feel is a real risk to life as space is tight. Once again all on the NHS. You can also go private, and get private thearpy as well if you require it, or there are a few private ED facilities I think, however they will cost quite a bit. Hope this helps, this is just from my experience
In Canada, getting into a treatment facility is most always started by a. Family physician visit or Psychiatrist for a referral. Some will know of what programs are available, but its sometimes best to research them yourself. From there its a matter of meeting the criteria for admittance and wait lists.
I know that this probably sounds really crazy but I feel like I am addicted to SH so sometimes I dont actually feel that sad or desperate or whatever but I still feel the urge to cut and so I watch triggering videos/pictures that make me feel sad because seeing people self-harming makes me sad and because I then am sad, I have a reason to self harm...I know its dumb.
Omg. I am hungry ALL of the time now that ive started recovery. My mother tells me i eat too much. Im like, no, im trying to replenish my body. Ive found it best for me if i break meals down into 4 medium meals and a snack before work instead of 3 bigger meals.
In terms of inpatient treatment for Anorexia, it really depends on the place itself. For example, (i live in Australia) at the beginning of the year, i was admitted to an Anorexia Nervosa inpatient treatment program thing at a major hospital. I didn't meet the criteria as i wasn't underweight, but i was referred by my youth health nurse. The hospital kind of took me on as a "lets see if this helps even though we're not fit to properly help you". So even if you dont meet the criteria for the specific inpatient program, depending on how limited the beds are, they may still be able to take you on.
When I am with people who allow me to feel safe I watch things that trigger me as a way to allow myself to feel those things and be able to process it in a safe way. When I am alone I tend to watch it to still feel those things but also to know I am not alone in it.
Love your videos :) Your answer to the last question basically explained to me why I (and many others) like to watch documentaries and movies about eating disorders! I never realised why I really liked it but it is calming and it really does hit that reward part of the brain!!! :) :)
seeing abuse on tv or RUclips does trigger me reminds me of my past abuse and so does seeing people cutting does trigger me and makes me have intrusive thoughts thank you Kati for telling us why we watch it
when I go through refeeding, I always get this onset of pancreatic "overshooting" of insulin. From restricitng for so long, your pancreas reduces its output in insulin, and then when you refeed, it's like the pancreas overworks, which means I'd have a low blood sugar issue after 3-4 hours of eating. This usually happens within 3 to 4 weeks of treatment and can last a few months. So if some are hungry, it might be an actual low blood sugar issue and you do need to eat to correct that.
Thanks for covering this. I hate that I love reading triggering articles on facebook and yahoo, and I know why! It's why i take social media breaks. I have a lot of repressed feelings of anger and sadness when i encounter rude or unkind comments, a lot. And writing responses back alleviates those feelings and makes me feel heard, but only temporarily. The only thing that truly alleviates those feelings is when I try to take more control in my life in the areas that I can- creating new and positive influences and changes. Nothing I really do online will produce those same effects.
Thanks for all your help full videos. The headline of this video totally fits to me, I also often watch triggerging video about self harm but I never thought about it. Really good point.
I'm from Montreal, Quebec and to be an inpatient, it depends on where you want to go. Some places you can call and make a request whereas others it's only on referrals. :/ & thank you to whoever asked that 3rd questions ! I'm really glad you answered this! :) Great video!!
In the UK there is definitely no 'admit self' option. You go to your GP and they refer you to outpatient usually and then the ED clinic will decided if you need to go inpatient depending on how severe your ed is. I'm bulimic and was purging over 8 times a.day for over 6 months and still wasn't given inpatient. It is rare that you are admitted for any eating disorder other than Ana, you can be but it is rare. Most people with ed's also have other issues like depression and will mostly end up on psychiatric wards.
In the netherlands so far in my experience, you have to get a referal from your doctor, and before they really test you for one specific thing, you, your parents/family, and a teacher at your school have to fill in a form about your feelings and behaviour so that they can try to find out if other mental health disorders are going on aswell.
I found this video after going on a “triggering video spree.” It wasn’t quite what I was looking for. I have emetophobia (or at least I think I do) and recently I’ve been forcing myself to watch triggering videos or write triggering things as a form a self-harm. I do it similarly to the way I would with other forms of self-harm: as a punishment. Do you know why I do this? I want to stop but I can’t. I could very well not have a phobia at all and just be overreacting but it’s kind of an issue. Is there a way that I can stop it? Sorry for all the info.
I watch whatever my feelings crave because it’s cathartic and it’s easy. If it isn’t working though in a particular circumstance, I try relying on something spiritual that is more than just praying- a ritualistic cleansing shower with candles while praying. And then there is always arts and crafts and puzzles while listening to the right mood music or tv show.
I know this vid was awhile ago lol, but I constantly feel the need to watch triggering stuff, even when I’m not sad or anything at all, to trigger myself on purpose so I know that I actually have these things abs I’m not crazy and over exaggerating everything I’ve ever felt, and even when I’m not sad I feel the need to SH.. like what
In the UK you have to go to your GP for a referral to a clinic or an organisation that helps you. If your worried about someone who isn't eating and is seriously under weight and who doesn't want to help you can go on behalf of them and they can issue a sectioning order where they are put into a clinic until they are better
In the UK, you can ask to be admitted to an ED inpatient unit. You just have to ask your psychiatrist/CPN/doctor/social worker & explain why you think it will help.
In the UK, getting inpatient is a very rare and length process as there are so much criteria you have to fit. They only take in girls with anorexia and due to shortage of beds only the sickiest get in, your GP or ED Outpatient team won't consider inpatient unless you are below BMI 15 and have serious health complications as a result of it. It's all down to not enough government funding which is frustrating as there are so many other suffering just as much but because they aren't on death's door, the medical staff won't do anything. In Scotland there are only a handful of ED Units and in them there are only 10 beds and they can only provide refeeding and can't afford the resources to use psychological treatment for the girls in the unit. it's basically just focussed on gaining weight and that can feel overwhelming and triggering for people recovering. it's a mental illness and there needs to be more funding towards it so that care can improve!!
AshGrant This is so true although nearer london they do accept all eating disorders but it does tend to be anorexia simply because there are more physical complication attached to the illness (highest mortality rate) and I think the BMI is 16. But yh limited funding for mental health on NHS means ppl have to suffer far longer giving the eating disorder time to attach itself to the person and ingrain itself. Hope virgo is doing really well campaigning and speaking to the government about the issue of weight being an influence in diagnosis as so many have had serious consequences when turned away by doctors being told they are not sick enough!!
I like that you sometimes allude to your on "anxiety". Even you must cope with issues, like much of your audience :- ; it make people feel like they're not so different.
From my experience re: eating disorder treatment and or admission to an EDU in the UK the first person you see is your GP who, if you fit the criteria, refers you onto any of the following: Community Eating Disorder Services (CEDS), Community Mental Health Services (CMHS), Community Adolescence Mental Health Service (CAMHS), General/Acute hospital ward admission or mental health psychiatric ward admission, this is because most GPs don't have direct access to the admissions assessments required for direct admittance to an EDU, however the above services/hospitals do. Once you are under the above's care and they have carried out their assessments they will make a care plan which may involve admittance to an EDU. There is also an Urgent/Unplanned admissions provision for those with rapidly declining health to go either directly to an EDU or firstly to an Acute Medical Ward in a general hospital to stabilise your physical health before you are transferred/admitted to an EDU. These emergency admissions are usually instigated by CEDS/CMHS/CAMHS as you are most likely already under their services, however it can be via your GP who will send you immediately to A&E who then, in discussion with your health care professionals and provision directors, decide what the appropriate hospital provision for your immediate needs are: directly to an EDU or Physical health intervention at a general hospital and then an EDU. In the UK we are really fortunate to have free healthcare so I think thats why we seem to have a different means of access rather than contacting EDUs directly. I hope that it all makes sense!
Thanks! I loved the song when I was around 5th or 6th class, or maybe 7th, but my english was so bad that I only understood the words "am I wrong" but that was enough. But I forgot it when the radio stopped playing it often... I didn't have a Handy/Computer to play it, my parents' comuter was just for working. Wow, now I am at the end of school, just one year left if I don't want to repeat a schoolyear... And so much has changed in all this time... Much got better, some problems got dangerously worse. But I hope they'll vanish in 133 days when I get 18, but for that to happen, there's still some work to be done.
A lot of your hunger sensation is about habits and time-of-day rather than about your body being low on energy. If the time of day when you eat is variable enough across days, then you won't necessarily get the hunger signal to remind you if you skip a meal. That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on context. For someone with an ED it's probably very bad, but not having to deal with hunger signals during part of the day can be helpful for mentally healthy people who incorporate intermittent fasting into a diet to promote physical health.
David Tichborne I hope you’re seeing a therapist if things seem out of hand. I saw one and she was amazing. They do help, so much, especially if you find one you connect with.
I'm in Australia, and here apparently you are normally able to stay at home unless you have serious health complications such as deathly low weight, heart issues, in which case, you may be put under an ITO - involuntary treatment order.
Here in Sweden you just have to go to BUP if you are 18 or under and the Eating Disorder place and you can just say that you want to get inpatient and they have to let you
I never go to my therapist because I kind of hate her, but I'm only 14 so it's hard to get a new one without asking. And I have social anxiety so that's difficult... But now I'm not getting any help because I refuse to go. I don't know what to do.
I have struggled with severe depression and suicidal thoughts for several years, and theres a lot of times where I find myself binging videos on RUclips or TV shows that talk about the topic. If theres a show or a movie where some attempts suicide or thinks about it, I will almost always watch it. And I've always wondered why I did it, but I think for me it calms me down a little bit to see someone else do it so that I dont have to. Like living that action and that pain through someone else. And sometimes it's just to feel less alone. To know I'm not the only person that has ever felt this way.
I'm in Canada and I went in for really bad anxiety. the psychiatrist who saw me was really nice and made it so I would get help right away. He could see I couldn't wait months for help so he admitted me under suicide watch so I would get treatment right away. I was having suicidal ideation and was self-harming. I maybe didn't entirely meet the criteria for being admitted with suicide watch so I guess sometimes you have to just really emphasize how bad things are to get immediate help. Don't downplay it. You deserve help right away, and if you have to be blatantly honest about how bad things are to get help, then do it.
I often watch/listen to triggering things to get past an anxiety attack. I'll find myself super anxious but not anxious enough to start hyperventilating and such, so I'll find something to actually trigger that attack so it can happen and be over with so I can feel like I actually got through it.
if your in the UK your GP can refer you or you could refer yourself to mind or insight health care, there could be more but these are the ones that helped me it's free and funded by the NHS they will help you with ANYTHING and if they can't they will refer you to someone that can. hope your well.
I have such a problem with watching/looking at triggering things. I even made an Instagram account dedicated to self harm, it was mainly to document how my scars heal etc for myself and to see other people's self harm but then a lot of people started to follow me and I started getting comments like 'I wish I could cut that deep' and 'your scars are so pretty'. Honestly it just made things worse, it was the first time my scars felt validated and I felt kind of motivated to keep cutting because all these people liked seeing my posts. I also felt pressured to cut deeper because I was seeing all these people who had actually cut to the bone and my cuts seemed insignificant in comparison, I went from 3 years of shallowish cuts (they bled and everything but weren't really gaping) to suddenly cutting to the fat, sometimes hitting veins, within weeks of starting that account. I guess I liked the fact that everyone there was going through similar things as me, no one was particularly judgemental and would actually listen to you if you wanted to talk to them. I haven't really used the account since November which is the last time I cut and part of me is itching to go back to it and self harm again, but at the same time I don't want the toxicity and negativity it brings. Anyway, it makes me feel a lot better that I'm not the only one that looks at triggering things!
Similar to a lot of other people's comments, I also would purposefully watch things to push myself further into a disorder, one of the worst culprits are the many BBC docu-shows like "Super Size vs. Super Skinny" or "OCD Cleaners vs. Hoarders", literally watching things that would make me terrified of being (the supersized, and the hoarder) to watch the behaviours of the other side, and be better at taking those behaviours myself to further my ED and obsessiveness. I feel like it starts off innocently but it always ends up being bad in the end...
That hunger question. Oh man was that ever stressful when just starting to eat. I used to panic if I felt hunger Id go 2 days without eating anything but seeds just to feel in control again, So learning not to flee from the hunger was tough. I still detest how I am hungry. I miss the days of control, when I was repulsed by food. I have just learnt complacency in being bigger. Well mostly, I may be slipping.
In The Netherlands it is very hard to go inpatient. For anorexia or other mental illnesses. When your body is in danger (anorexia by example) you go to the GP first and then to the hospital. You stay there until you reached the safe critera. It can last 1 day until a couple of weeks. But not long. Then you go home and wait wait wait for help and have to call, email and do a lot to get yourself help from an help centre. Waiting list are very long here, so the most time you are stuck at home and become worse and then you finally get help. When your suicidal you call the GP and he sends you to the crisis centre. That can speeds things up a little... You are happy when you are 'in' the help centre, there are some more options to get helpt, but it is always hard to find 'your way' for help. Have a good day! #katifaq
I also watch films with emotional abuse which I used to think made me a "bad" person. Its actually to normalise our experience...*ugh abusive people do all the harm and the people who are abused get the pain a million times over". I feel sorry for my younger self..
In UK ,firstly you need to be referred by GP to shrink who then evaluates your weight . I believe you need to be below a certain weight. I was an nutty house on food disorders ward and no one was allowed to move unless everyone ate all their food ,which was an absurd amount of calories. That so called recovery breeds resentment from others .
In Norway: If it is acute you can go to the emergency room and then the doctor will examination you If you meet the createria and then you will go straight up to the acute psyc ward and be there for 24 hours for observasion. And after that they will decide If you get to go home or If you will be moved to another ward for konger stay! And how long you stay is very diffrent from person to person! Once i stand 4 months! If it’s not acute and you really need the help you can go to your GP and Ask for a planned intake😊 In Norway we have don’t pay anything to be in the hospital because everyone pay tax and have insurance , i won’t really know how to explain the tax thing good, but look it up om Google If your intressted! Hugs💙
I would like you to cover the same question about watching triggering things, but with PTSD & rape trauma. I see myself sometimes watching things that trigger me. Sometimes it's because i feel numb, and would rather re-live. Sometimes i just don't understand what it is I'm getting out of it, but i am.
Kati, in Scotland (so I assume UK) you have to have someone put, in my case I had to go into heart failure, survive (just), because of that I was sectioned, i was a general psych ward for 3mths in NG before they realised they were killing me and i was literally about to die, THEN they sent me to an EDU
In sweden you can talk to your therapist tell them that you suspect having an eating disorder , and she/he can move you to the right people after running tests for malnitrition and stuff ...
I watch triggering things for because I like to hurt myself and remind myself that the trauma I went through was real. But I don’t do it as much as I used to because my alters also get triggered and I don’t want to hurt them
Regarding your third question, the reason I like to read triggering things is because it lets me live vicariously and/or I don’t feel the urge to act upon the behaviors if I’m reading about somebody else doing them. I don’t know if any of what I said makes sense but hopefully it does somewhat.
Hi Kati, loving the videos please keep them coming! I've been having a really hard time recently and would like to chat to you about it, what is the best way to do that? Please respond to this! Thanks xx
This is a very old video but I'd still like to share my experience. [TRIGGER WARNING: (child) sexual assault] I'm CSA victim and since a few years I've started to moderately trigger myself to somewhat get used to it being a normal topic for other people. I wanted to prepare myself for that so I don't have a breakdown as soon as people talk about things like that. I've started with series like Law & Order special victims unit, where it's never really graphic, and now sometimes when I feel like I can take it (which is rare but yknow) I can watch videos of other sexual assault victims too. There's still a lot to work on, for example the harsh r word still brings me into a weird state of panic meanwhile for some reason the words "sexual assault" are fine for me. I'm kinda proud of myself to do this kind of.. DIY exposure therapy lmao, since I'm still not ready to talk about it to a therapist still. But I feel like this whole "moderately triggering myself" has been a big help and hope it continues to be.
I’m not surprised your a dbt therapist. You sound like one lol Nothing wrong just can tell Eating disorder others wise Not Specified (EDNOS) Sometimes we watch for an excuse to stay in the eating disorder. Sometimes we do it to further our obsession And other times it helps us explain it to other people who don’t understand it. Just when I did it when I had my ed(in recovery for 6 yrs!!) yay!
UGh! I don't wanta journal about how I feel! :P I saw a new therapist today who made me very distressed and who I will not be going back to, but who told me right off the bat in her long to-do list for me was to journal my feelings every day. I don't even know what my feelings are, I'm scared to find out! I think I only ever have 3 of them! Anxious, mad, and neutral. I know i need to work on this… but first, to find a good therapist..
I'm sorry the therapist distressed you :( hope tiu find a good one soon. And its normal to be scared of feelings and finding out how we feel means we have to deal with them and it can be triggering and hard but in my experience things have to get worse before it gets better. Take care Ari xo
M6BrokeMe Yes, because you are talking about intimate things and the doctor cares about your well being. It's a weird state, to reveal your secrets to someone you dont know, who will help you to address them in a kind manner. It tends to go away when you are better. By then, you realize that you know very little about them. They feel more like a teacher or a wizard goddess or something. Like Yoda, Obi Won, or Glinda, the Good Witch.
***** Hya. My question is so weird so apologies. I've had bulimia since I was 14 and binged/purged about 3-5 times a day, a lot more in uni. I had gastric bypass surgery at 25 years old and as a result, I can't purge anymore, unless I literally eat over the toilet and purge straight away. I thought the surgery would be a good way of getting over my ed but now I am desperate all the time to Purge again and my eating is still out of control. I still binge (on much smaller amounts) but struggle to Purge so I can't get any relief. I just finished 40 weeks of ED out patient therapy but don't seem any better. My self esteem is through the floor and I just want to be able to Purge again. I can't lose weight I can't do anything right? I don't know where to go from here?
Whenever I go back into a depressive state, I listen to sad music and watch videos about depression. I don’t know why but it’s calming.
i do the same thing talk about crazy
Maybe your life's a movie
I do it too but I end up having stronger self harm urges 😢
The reason I watched/looked at triggering things was because I wanted to trigger myself. In no way was I trying to get away from it or fight it. I wanted to trigger myself so I would be "better" at my eating disorder. It was like motivation.. if that makes sense..
Laura Faith me too
Me too
Same for me
Yess!! 😥
It’s why I do it too.
my favorite thing about Kati is when she's describing how brains work and the reasons behind certain behaviors, she uses the word "we." never "you." she includes herself in the description, includes everybody, because everyone's brain is CAPABLE of acting like this or that. she doesn't single us out, or make us feel "other." she says "we" and it groups us in with her, and normalizes it. i don't really know what i'm rambling about, i just really like that she's subtly breaking down the stigma of mental illness in the casual way she talks.
She reminds me of a quote that I can't quite remember correctly? it's like... Be so much of yourself that others feel comfortable to do the same. It might not be "comfortable," it might be inspired, or confident. but yeah, that's what she reminds me of.
Yeah I love that about her too. I think it’s also because (not sure if it’s true) I heard she used to have an ed herself :(
I think I watch triggering stuff as an excuse to do the behavior. An excuse to say "oh well now I'm teiggered. I have to do it now."
+Shelbi Rye I thnik I do it for the same reason.
Same here
I watch a lot of triggering thing or read a lot of triggering things because it is something I know. It feel kinda close to me, if that makes sense. Ive been trying to recover so by watching or reading it...it almost tricks my brain into thinking im the person thats doing it. Thats just me.
I can relate :)
Answer starts at 5:20
Thank youuuu
Thank you
sometimes i watch things that trigger me or stay in triggering environments because otherwise i feel numb. for whatever reason i think that feeling triggered is better than feeling nothing. idk but ive gotten a lot better at leaving triggering situations and ignoring things that would set me off so that i dont have to respond negatively to those situations
Re: Triggering Stuff/Poking the Bruise.
I alway like watching SVU, and even Kati-Vids, because it makes me feel like there are people out there, especially generally healthy and whole people, who care about people like me. It's not so much about watching the events that happen, it's about watching the aftermath and responses from caring people. I watch because I want to be seen.
Same thing about SVU!! It's comforting to see people like me/us get taken seriously and get justice and help.
People who are dismissive of other people's suffering are jackasses :- >
Out of the Dust yes this is exactly me :)
Omg, that's what I just wrote up above before I read yours....SUV
There’s this book I always reread whenever I’m feeling more depressed. It’s about how the guy self harms. It’s very descriptive and triggering. I read it over and over again.
The question in the title is at 5:19
I'm from England and here you have to be referred and meet all the criteria to go to an NHS facility (NHS is England's free National Health Service for anyone wondering). Because funding is so tight (and the government are cutting NHS funding even more) you can only get referred if your case is really severe, so sometimes even if you meet all of the criteria you won't get into an inpatient facility and will have to wait months or even years. However if you go through private healthcare you can admit yourself to an inpatient facility, and it's pretty easy to get in because so few people actually have private healthcare.
Katie, I'm a quiet follower... this video was SO helpful. Your question #3 is me to a T. I appreciate your content so much. I'm working my way through each of your videos and watch them while I get ready in the mornings. Thank you for all you do!!
Wow! I am so happy you answered the question about watching triggering stuff! I find myself watching triggering things sometimes and I beat myself up about even clicking it because I know it will be triggering and make me feel even worse. But with your explanation it makes sense. I will still try to stop when I find myself watching it again, but I can now try to not beat myself up about it. Thank you!! (Sometimes I am afraid that watching your videos might be triggering, that I might want to be more sick again - like I used to be - just so I would belong somewhere and all your advice would still be applicable to me. I am happy to notice more and more that even without being sick again there are still things I can learn/consider/think about thanks to you(r channel)!!
Have you heard about Mother Mother?
This band reflects everything I feel when I seek triggering stuff and feel depressed.
They are so passionate.
Omg omg omg thank you so much. I didn't know this band. But omg i love their music. I never knew i needed this.
Thank you for sharing
She said to exit out of triggering videos. Yet her I am watching her videos.
Same haha
I struggle with a mood disorder currently, bipolar, which I believe is just recurrent or chronic depression, and yeah I do watch or listen to triggering stuff so I don't feel alone in my suffering or to have a good cry because that's what I need.
In Sweden, you call the psychiatric emergency, you talk to a nurse and tell them you need help and wants to see a doctor right away. The nurse decides if they drive out to pick you up (in a normal car, not ambulance) or if you are in a state to get there by yourself. After you arrive, depending on the number of other patients, you sit down with a nurse that sits with you until you get to see the Dr.
If the Dr, based on the conversation, think's you need inpatient care - she or he will ask you IF YOU want to be inpatient. They can't just lock you up without your consent (if there isn't a court order where the state thinks you are a danger to yourself, but that is a whole law regarding that.). If you want to be an outpatient, you just ask to see the Dr, and anyhow you can just walk away if you like.
In Sweden, you pay about 8 dollars/day for inpatient care. Seeing a Dr/therapist about 10 dollars/each time, until you've reached a total amount of 95 dollars/year, then you get a "free card" for all your appointments. All drugs/pills you might need during 1 year will never be a total amount over 150 dollars (after you paid that amount, it's free too).
+Ecila xo SO MUCH CHEEPER THAN NORTH AMERICA :O Here in Canada there's sometimes government funding/insurance coverage, but that can come with being on a long waiting list. www.cbc.ca/news/health/eating-disorder-patient-seeks-60k-online-for-health-care-1.2497052
+Chanelle FT omg yeah
That is amazing. Anyone could afford to get help (Even a college student!!!) I pray that it will some day be like that everywhere.
Such a relief to know that it's normal to suddenly start getting hungry when you start eating again. It's really been scaring me. Struggling with it a lot. Love your vids. Thanks Kati!
Okay here’s the info as far as my experience in Scotland, UK. You can book a GP appointment (at any age, parents don’t have to be notified) and you essentially tell them everything about your ED. They will mostly likely refer you to either SAMH or CAMHS which have a long waiting list, however this is all free on the NHS. You are assessed for your risk, but everyone does get an appointment with them. They then asses your situation and can either start you outpatient working at home alone, start working with a constant ED team whilst at home, or you may be sent to an inpatient unit - they only will do this for cases where they feel is a real risk to life as space is tight. Once again all on the NHS. You can also go private, and get private thearpy as well if you require it, or there are a few private ED facilities I think, however they will cost quite a bit. Hope this helps, this is just from my experience
Oh and in Australia you have to have a referral from a doctor to get in to any form of treatment program for an ED
In Canada, getting into a treatment facility is most always started by a. Family physician visit or Psychiatrist for a referral. Some will know of what programs are available, but its sometimes best to research them yourself. From there its a matter of meeting the criteria for admittance and wait lists.
in England u have to go doctors and see what they say and if they don't do anything you just waight until you faint
+Sinead Baker Yeah..... the Doctors surgery's where I live in the UK are terrible.
I know that this probably sounds really crazy but I feel like I am addicted to SH so sometimes I dont actually feel that sad or desperate or whatever but I still feel the urge to cut and so I watch triggering videos/pictures that make me feel sad because seeing people self-harming makes me sad and because I then am sad, I have a reason to self harm...I know its dumb.
It's addictive! That's not strange at all.
Tabea Li I do that as well... I'm so glad I'm not the only one
Tabea Li While I don't self-harm, it does not sound that crazy. Cutting make you feel better, brings you relief, right? I think it's understandable.
It’s not dumb this is one of my biggest struggles with self harm and self harm recovery
Same... sameeeeeee
Can you move to Canada and be my psychologist? lol
Can she move to England?
And to the Netherlands???
Ireland too 😂😂
Rebecca Meade I second ireland 😉
It's 2am and I can't stop watching your videos
I watch your videos when I realize that I’m watching triggering videos
Omg. I am hungry ALL of the time now that ive started recovery. My mother tells me i eat too much. Im like, no, im trying to replenish my body. Ive found it best for me if i break meals down into 4 medium meals and a snack before work instead of 3 bigger meals.
How is it going?
In terms of inpatient treatment for Anorexia, it really depends on the place itself. For example, (i live in Australia) at the beginning of the year, i was admitted to an Anorexia Nervosa inpatient treatment program thing at a major hospital. I didn't meet the criteria as i wasn't underweight, but i was referred by my youth health nurse. The hospital kind of took me on as a "lets see if this helps even though we're not fit to properly help you". So even if you dont meet the criteria for the specific inpatient program, depending on how limited the beds are, they may still be able to take you on.
When I am with people who allow me to feel safe I watch things that trigger me as a way to allow myself to feel those things and be able to process it in a safe way. When I am alone I tend to watch it to still feel those things but also to know I am not alone in it.
Love your videos :) Your answer to the last question basically explained to me why I (and many others) like to watch documentaries and movies about eating disorders! I never realised why I really liked it but it is calming and it really does hit that reward part of the brain!!! :) :)
Yes, defiantly!!! I'm so relieved to know watching them is 'normal' phew. I feel much better ^-^
naaaaaahhhww don't shorten your videos they're perfect.. :D xo
seeing abuse on tv or RUclips does trigger me reminds me of my past abuse and so does seeing people cutting does trigger me and makes me have intrusive thoughts thank you Kati for telling us why we watch it
David Tichborne I do that too!
when I go through refeeding, I always get this onset of pancreatic "overshooting" of insulin. From restricitng for so long, your pancreas reduces its output in insulin, and then when you refeed, it's like the pancreas overworks, which means I'd have a low blood sugar issue after 3-4 hours of eating. This usually happens within 3 to 4 weeks of treatment and can last a few months. So if some are hungry, it might be an actual low blood sugar issue and you do need to eat to correct that.
Blessedmommy73 i think i get the same thing!!! often after i eat, i get the same sensation as i did when i would fast (dizzy, light headed, etc).
Thanks for covering this. I hate that I love reading triggering articles on facebook and yahoo, and I know why! It's why i take social media breaks. I have a lot of repressed feelings of anger and sadness when i encounter rude or unkind comments, a lot. And writing responses back alleviates those feelings and makes me feel heard, but only temporarily. The only thing that truly alleviates those feelings is when I try to take more control in my life in the areas that I can- creating new and positive influences and changes. Nothing I really do online will produce those same effects.
Thank you SO much for explaining number 3
Thanks for all your help full videos. The headline of this video totally fits to me, I also often watch triggerging video about self harm but I never thought about it. Really good point.
Title Q: 5:22
Thank you Kati for creating this wonderful video. Giving me some tools to use. This is helping me deal with being cyberbullying on a video.
I'm from Montreal, Quebec and to be an inpatient, it depends on where you want to go. Some places you can call and make a request whereas others it's only on referrals. :/ & thank you to whoever asked that 3rd questions ! I'm really glad you answered this! :) Great video!!
Hi Kati wanted to say thank you for all you do here on youtube you're helping alot of ppl!!!
In the UK there is definitely no 'admit self' option. You go to your GP and they refer you to outpatient usually and then the ED clinic will decided if you need to go inpatient depending on how severe your ed is. I'm bulimic and was purging over 8 times a.day for over 6 months and still wasn't given inpatient.
It is rare that you are admitted for any eating disorder other than Ana, you can be but it is rare. Most people with ed's also have other issues like depression and will mostly end up on psychiatric wards.
In the netherlands so far in my experience, you have to get a referal from your doctor, and before they really test you for one specific thing, you, your parents/family, and a teacher at your school have to fill in a form about your feelings and behaviour so that they can try to find out if other mental health disorders are going on aswell.
I found this video after going on a “triggering video spree.” It wasn’t quite what I was looking for. I have emetophobia (or at least I think I do) and recently I’ve been forcing myself to watch triggering videos or write triggering things as a form a self-harm. I do it similarly to the way I would with other forms of self-harm: as a punishment. Do you know why I do this? I want to stop but I can’t. I could very well not have a phobia at all and just be overreacting but it’s kind of an issue. Is there a way that I can stop it? Sorry for all the info.
I just spent my entire afternoon watching videos about anorexia nervosa and then this video is suggested to me haha thanks youtube
I watch whatever my feelings crave because it’s cathartic and it’s easy. If it isn’t working though in a particular circumstance, I try relying on something spiritual that is more than just praying- a ritualistic cleansing shower with candles while praying. And then there is always arts and crafts and puzzles while listening to the right mood music or tv show.
I really love your videos. I wish that I had a therapist. Someone like you. You're amazing!! 💜
I watch your videos and other documentaries. Thats so interesting, Now I know why I enjoy watching videos when I feel depressed!
Am I Wrong is an AWESOME song! I listen to it all the time.
I know this vid was awhile ago lol, but I constantly feel the need to watch triggering stuff, even when I’m not sad or anything at all, to trigger myself on purpose so I know that I actually have these things abs I’m not crazy and over exaggerating everything I’ve ever felt, and even when I’m not sad I feel the need to SH.. like what
In the UK you have to go to your GP for a referral to a clinic or an organisation that helps you. If your worried about someone who isn't eating and is seriously under weight and who doesn't want to help you can go on behalf of them and they can issue a sectioning order where they are put into a clinic until they are better
In the UK, you can ask to be admitted to an ED inpatient unit. You just have to ask your psychiatrist/CPN/doctor/social worker & explain why you think it will help.
In the uk you cannot admit yourself to hospital, there needs to be a referral however with privet care I'm sure you'd be able too.
In the UK, getting inpatient is a very rare and length process as there are so much criteria you have to fit. They only take in girls with anorexia and due to shortage of beds only the sickiest get in, your GP or ED Outpatient team won't consider inpatient unless you are below BMI 15 and have serious health complications as a result of it. It's all down to not enough government funding which is frustrating as there are so many other suffering just as much but because they aren't on death's door, the medical staff won't do anything. In Scotland there are only a handful of ED Units and in them there are only 10 beds and they can only provide refeeding and can't afford the resources to use psychological treatment for the girls in the unit. it's basically just focussed on gaining weight and that can feel overwhelming and triggering for people recovering. it's a mental illness and there needs to be more funding towards it so that care can improve!!
AshGrant This is so true although nearer london they do accept all eating disorders but it does tend to be anorexia simply because there are more physical complication attached to the illness (highest mortality rate) and I think the BMI is 16. But yh limited funding for mental health on NHS means ppl have to suffer far longer giving the eating disorder time to attach itself to the person and ingrain itself. Hope virgo is doing really well campaigning and speaking to the government about the issue of weight being an influence in diagnosis as so many have had serious consequences when turned away by doctors being told they are not sick enough!!
You are fantastic!!!! Thank you!!!
I like that you sometimes allude to your on "anxiety". Even you must cope with issues, like much of your audience :- ; it make people feel like they're not so different.
From my experience re: eating disorder treatment and or admission to an EDU in the UK the first person you see is your GP who, if you fit the criteria, refers you onto any of the following: Community Eating Disorder Services (CEDS), Community Mental Health Services (CMHS), Community Adolescence Mental Health Service (CAMHS), General/Acute hospital ward admission or mental health psychiatric ward admission, this is because most GPs don't have direct access to the admissions assessments required for direct admittance to an EDU, however the above services/hospitals do. Once you are under the above's care and they have carried out their assessments they will make a care plan which may involve admittance to an EDU.
There is also an Urgent/Unplanned admissions provision for those with rapidly declining health to go either directly to an EDU or firstly to an Acute Medical Ward in a general hospital to stabilise your physical health before you are transferred/admitted to an EDU. These emergency admissions are usually instigated by CEDS/CMHS/CAMHS as you are most likely already under their services, however it can be via your GP who will send you immediately to A&E who then, in discussion with your health care professionals and provision directors, decide what the appropriate hospital provision for your immediate needs are: directly to an EDU or Physical health intervention at a general hospital and then an EDU. In the UK we are really fortunate to have free healthcare so I think thats why we seem to have a different means of access rather than contacting EDUs directly. I hope that it all makes sense!
Hanna Carter Couldn’t have explained it better myself
Thanks! I loved the song when I was around 5th or 6th class, or maybe 7th, but my english was so bad that I only understood the words "am I wrong" but that was enough. But I forgot it when the radio stopped playing it often... I didn't have a Handy/Computer to play it, my parents' comuter was just for working. Wow, now I am at the end of school, just one year left if I don't want to repeat a schoolyear...
And so much has changed in all this time... Much got better, some problems got dangerously worse. But I hope they'll vanish in 133 days when I get 18, but for that to happen, there's still some work to be done.
A lot of your hunger sensation is about habits and time-of-day rather than about your body being low on energy. If the time of day when you eat is variable enough across days, then you won't necessarily get the hunger signal to remind you if you skip a meal. That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on context. For someone with an ED it's probably very bad, but not having to deal with hunger signals during part of the day can be helpful for mentally healthy people who incorporate intermittent fasting into a diet to promote physical health.
Ty Kati for making this video
I love all your videos. They make me feel so much better about things! :D
I struggle from emotional eating
David Tichborne I hope you’re seeing a therapist if things seem out of hand. I saw one and she was amazing. They do help, so much, especially if you find one you connect with.
I'm in Australia, and here apparently you are normally able to stay at home unless you have serious health complications such as deathly low weight, heart issues, in which case, you may be put under an ITO - involuntary treatment order.
Here in Sweden you just have to go to BUP if you are 18 or under and the Eating Disorder place and you can just say that you want to get inpatient and they have to let you
I never go to my therapist because I kind of hate her, but I'm only 14 so it's hard to get a new one without asking. And I have social anxiety so that's difficult... But now I'm not getting any help because I refuse to go. I don't know what to do.
+Adele Poling why do you hate her?
Are you with Camhs? Or another place or an independant therapist.
I have struggled with severe depression and suicidal thoughts for several years, and theres a lot of times where I find myself binging videos on RUclips or TV shows that talk about the topic. If theres a show or a movie where some attempts suicide or thinks about it, I will almost always watch it. And I've always wondered why I did it, but I think for me it calms me down a little bit to see someone else do it so that I dont have to. Like living that action and that pain through someone else. And sometimes it's just to feel less alone. To know I'm not the only person that has ever felt this way.
I'm in Canada and I went in for really bad anxiety. the psychiatrist who saw me was really nice and made it so I would get help right away. He could see I couldn't wait months for help so he admitted me under suicide watch so I would get treatment right away. I was having suicidal ideation and was self-harming. I maybe didn't entirely meet the criteria for being admitted with suicide watch so I guess sometimes you have to just really emphasize how bad things are to get immediate help. Don't downplay it. You deserve help right away, and if you have to be blatantly honest about how bad things are to get help, then do it.
In the UK once your BMI reaches around 13 you are usually admitted to the hospital
I often watch/listen to triggering things to get past an anxiety attack. I'll find myself super anxious but not anxious enough to start hyperventilating and such, so I'll find something to actually trigger that attack so it can happen and be over with so I can feel like I actually got through it.
if your in the UK your GP can refer you or you could refer yourself to mind or insight health care, there could be more but these are the ones that helped me it's free and funded by the NHS they will help you with ANYTHING and if they can't they will refer you to someone that can. hope your well.
I have such a problem with watching/looking at triggering things. I even made an Instagram account dedicated to self harm, it was mainly to document how my scars heal etc for myself and to see other people's self harm but then a lot of people started to follow me and I started getting comments like 'I wish I could cut that deep' and 'your scars are so pretty'. Honestly it just made things worse, it was the first time my scars felt validated and I felt kind of motivated to keep cutting because all these people liked seeing my posts. I also felt pressured to cut deeper because I was seeing all these people who had actually cut to the bone and my cuts seemed insignificant in comparison, I went from 3 years of shallowish cuts (they bled and everything but weren't really gaping) to suddenly cutting to the fat, sometimes hitting veins, within weeks of starting that account. I guess I liked the fact that everyone there was going through similar things as me, no one was particularly judgemental and would actually listen to you if you wanted to talk to them. I haven't really used the account since November which is the last time I cut and part of me is itching to go back to it and self harm again, but at the same time I don't want the toxicity and negativity it brings.
Anyway, it makes me feel a lot better that I'm not the only one that looks at triggering things!
Similar to a lot of other people's comments, I also would purposefully watch things to push myself further into a disorder, one of the worst culprits are the many BBC docu-shows like "Super Size vs. Super Skinny" or "OCD Cleaners vs. Hoarders", literally watching things that would make me terrified of being (the supersized, and the hoarder) to watch the behaviours of the other side, and be better at taking those behaviours myself to further my ED and obsessiveness. I feel like it starts off innocently but it always ends up being bad in the end...
That hunger question. Oh man was that ever stressful when just starting to eat. I used to panic if I felt hunger Id go 2 days without eating anything but seeds just to feel in control again, So learning not to flee from the hunger was tough. I still detest how I am hungry. I miss the days of control, when I was repulsed by food. I have just learnt complacency in being bigger. Well mostly, I may be slipping.
In The Netherlands it is very hard to go inpatient. For anorexia or other mental illnesses. When your body is in danger (anorexia by example) you go to the GP first and then to the hospital. You stay there until you reached the safe critera. It can last 1 day until a couple of weeks. But not long. Then you go home and wait wait wait for help and have to call, email and do a lot to get yourself help from an help centre. Waiting list are very long here, so the most time you are stuck at home and become worse and then you finally get help. When your suicidal you call the GP and he sends you to the crisis centre. That can speeds things up a little...
You are happy when you are 'in' the help centre, there are some more options to get helpt, but it is always hard to find 'your way' for help.
Have a good day!
#katifaq
The face at the end of the video is adorable XD
I also watch films with emotional abuse which I used to think made me a "bad" person. Its actually to normalise our experience...*ugh abusive people do all the harm and the people who are abused get the pain a million times over". I feel sorry for my younger self..
In UK ,firstly you need to be referred by GP to shrink who then evaluates your weight . I believe you need to be below a certain weight. I was an nutty house on food disorders ward and no one was allowed to move unless everyone ate all their food ,which was an absurd amount of calories. That so called recovery breeds resentment from others .
In Norway:
If it is acute you can go to the emergency room and then the doctor will examination you If you meet the createria and then you will go straight up to the acute psyc ward and be there for 24 hours for observasion. And after that they will decide If you get to go home or If you will be moved to another ward for konger stay! And how long you stay is very diffrent from person to person! Once i stand 4 months! If it’s not acute and you really need the help you can go to your GP and Ask for a planned intake😊 In Norway we have don’t pay anything to be in the hospital because everyone pay tax and have insurance , i won’t really know how to explain the tax thing good, but look it up om Google If your intressted! Hugs💙
I would like you to cover the same question about watching triggering things, but with PTSD & rape trauma. I see myself sometimes watching things that trigger me. Sometimes it's because i feel numb, and would rather re-live. Sometimes i just don't understand what it is I'm getting out of it, but i am.
When were you on TV?
Kati, in Scotland (so I assume UK) you have to have someone put, in my case I had to go into heart failure, survive (just), because of that I was sectioned, i was a general psych ward for 3mths in NG before they realised they were killing me and i was literally about to die, THEN they sent me to an EDU
In sweden you can talk to your therapist tell them that you suspect having an eating disorder , and she/he can move you to the right people after running tests for malnitrition and stuff ...
That's so weird, the "trying to reach things that I can't see" line from that song always spoke to me.
I watch triggering things for because I like to hurt myself and remind myself that the trauma I went through was real. But I don’t do it as much as I used to because my alters also get triggered and I don’t want to hurt them
Hey Kati I suffer with anxiety depression self harm anorexia and bulimia and suicidal thoughts is this considered mental health what should I do
Regarding your third question, the reason I like to read triggering things is because it lets me live vicariously and/or I don’t feel the urge to act upon the behaviors if I’m reading about somebody else doing them. I don’t know if any of what I said makes sense but hopefully it does somewhat.
Hi Kati, loving the videos please keep them coming! I've been having a really hard time recently and would like to chat to you about it, what is the best way to do that? Please respond to this! Thanks xx
This is a very old video but I'd still like to share my experience.
[TRIGGER WARNING: (child) sexual assault]
I'm CSA victim and since a few years I've started to moderately trigger myself to somewhat get used to it being a normal topic for other people. I wanted to prepare myself for that so I don't have a breakdown as soon as people talk about things like that. I've started with series like Law & Order special victims unit, where it's never really graphic, and now sometimes when I feel like I can take it (which is rare but yknow) I can watch videos of other sexual assault victims too. There's still a lot to work on, for example the harsh r word still brings me into a weird state of panic meanwhile for some reason the words "sexual assault" are fine for me. I'm kinda proud of myself to do this kind of.. DIY exposure therapy lmao, since I'm still not ready to talk about it to a therapist still. But I feel like this whole "moderately triggering myself" has been a big help and hope it continues to be.
I’m not surprised your a dbt therapist. You sound like one lol
Nothing wrong just can tell
Eating disorder others wise Not Specified (EDNOS)
Sometimes we watch for an excuse to stay in the eating disorder.
Sometimes we do it to further our obsession
And other times it helps us explain it to other people who don’t understand it.
Just when I did it when I had my ed(in recovery for 6 yrs!!) yay!
How about when I feel nothing? Or I feel empty? All the time...
I feel broken inside
And some time I feel sad al lot of the time
What about triggering yourself with your ptsd? Is it the same thing?
💕💕💕
This is why I watch pimple popping and it helps me not to pick at myself as much.
UGh! I don't wanta journal about how I feel! :P I saw a new therapist today who made me very distressed and who I will not be going back to, but who told me right off the bat in her long to-do list for me was to journal my feelings every day. I don't even know what my feelings are, I'm scared to find out! I think I only ever have 3 of them! Anxious, mad, and neutral. I know i need to work on this… but first, to find a good therapist..
I'm sorry the therapist distressed you :( hope tiu find a good one soon. And its normal to be scared of feelings and finding out how we feel means we have to deal with them and it can be triggering and hard but in my experience things have to get worse before it gets better. Take care Ari xo
Is it normal to be attracted to your psychologist?
M6BrokeMe Yes, because you are talking about intimate things and the doctor cares about your well being. It's a weird state, to reveal your secrets to someone you dont know, who will help you to address them in a kind manner. It tends to go away when you are better. By then, you realize that you know very little about them. They feel more like a teacher or a wizard goddess or something. Like Yoda, Obi Won, or Glinda, the Good Witch.
***** Hya. My question is so weird so apologies.
I've had bulimia since I was 14 and binged/purged about 3-5 times a day, a lot more in uni. I had gastric bypass surgery at 25 years old and as a result, I can't purge anymore, unless I literally eat over the toilet and purge straight away.
I thought the surgery would be a good way of getting over my ed but now I am desperate all the time to Purge again and my eating is still out of control. I still binge (on much smaller amounts) but struggle to Purge so I can't get any relief.
I just finished 40 weeks of ED out patient therapy but don't seem any better. My self esteem is through the floor and I just want to be able to Purge again. I can't lose weight I can't do anything right?
I don't know where to go from here?
Oh my god, you said ;happy thursday; so cute!
Kati, is there a difference between atypical anorexia and osfed? I was diagnosed with atypical anorexia... really confused!! thank you xxx
Teehee, Nico&Vinz are Norwegian (like me) and bc of that I'm feeling like yahaaas
How do I control my temper to the point where I want to eat alot more