Masha’Allah you guys smashed this! Looking forward to many more insha’Allah. I agree with a whole lot of what you all have discussed :) generally when you look at life through the lense of Deen, it makes logical sense. I’m all for traditional gender roles, and maintaining the rights and responsibilities of each person. The difficulty I have found in searching for a spouse is the western mindset and the lack of this trait of leadership. As a woman, I would agree with the notion of having a spouse making the decisions, some form of emotional connection/support and safety. In terms of status, I wouldn’t mind as long as I knew I could have an intelligent conversation or my spouse would teach me something I didn’t know? Muaz, you mentioned about women not wanting to admit they want a spouse smarter than them - I do! Haha. Saf, he mentioned in a previous video how Divorce was not even up for debate in the times our parents/grandparents were married. This is the outlook partners should have once compatibility is established for sure. If you work together and trust each other, the feeling of mercy and affection will be shared and natural. Also a point to recognise. Instead, you serve each other for the sake of Allah (swt). Another thought is to embody the notion of ‘what can I give’ not ‘what can I take’ in this relationship. This form of self-sacrifice is truly unconditional, honourable and comes from a place of good. When we come from a place of knowing who/what we are (soul, nafs) we can make better choices. Perhaps the biggest issue is some people haven’t even scratched the surface of knowing themselves! Again, living life for the sake of Allah (swt) has its perks in the modern world - especially when the list of requirements we are seeing to lock down a spouse is near impossible. All in all, God Fearing men are what women need in the 21st Century. I’m happy to run a household as long as we have each others backs.
@@sabr8399 Wow thank you for taking the time out to contribute your opinions and observations to our episode. It's very refreshing to see a Muslim sister in our society willing to stick to traditional gender roles which we believe ultimately leads to a more successful Muslim family dynamic - inshallah! Appreciate the support!
Guys if you want to see more of the gang and some personal stories then check out the latest episode 👇🏾 ruclips.net/video/okJIXTvmUYI/видео.htmlsi=MoPr0j8Z3mnnwGoG
As a wife I have enjoyed listening to the male persepective of marriage etc. Sometimes me and my husband dont communicate our needs the way we should. Maybe he just doesnt know how to express himself. I have picked up some good understanding from this podcast. Thank you
@@sammy6877 this comment is a breath of fresh air so thank you for sharing. Unfortunately many men struggle to express and articulate themselves - this can be for a number of reasons. Communication is very important. We look forward to addressing the topic of "challenges of married Muslim men" in a future episode
The one I never heard you guys mention is forgiveness. Marriage is a long journey and both sides are going to commit some mistakes along the way, so forgiveness is essential. On a technical note make sure you guys speak on the same level. It’s a long podcast and most people would listen while doing something else, so it’s vital that the volume is clear at all times.
I wanted to hear something refreshing on this topic. Some good points were made but lots of tired out stereotypes. Men should feel safe to be emotionally vulnerable with their Mrs and women should be factored into the question of “what do women want”. I look forward to the next episode
Constructive feedback- if I want advice on parenting, I will never go to someone with no children even if they had a pHD in child psychology. We can speak to our mothers, spouses, aunties, sisters etc to delve into what women want in a spouse. This is a delicate topic which needs to be delivered by experienced veterans with emotional intelligence, wisdom and knowledge. But still very good points were made Maa shaa Allah it’s good to hear what young Muslim brothers and sisters think as it opens up channels for healthy dialogues.
The final characteristics for both parties were good. When Islam is the criteria and followed properly, many of these things will come naturally, rightly so. But I think some points made, require nuanced discussions which I can appreciate is not possible with limited time. Also- Lool of course you knew ‘obedience’ would be a trigger word but I’d like to add that there is basis for why many women have despised that specific word (not because of the word itself) but unfortunately many men have abused their role and under the banner of Islam used this sentiment to oppress women not for their protection but for other reasons. A small disclaimer would have been nice to acknowledge but again I understand why it may not have been mentioned. Thank you.
Thank you for such great feedback. For the record we believe that the modern day husband is far more obedient than the modern day wife. Come on ladies you're falling behind😂
Guys if you want to see more of the gang and some personal stories then check out the latest episode 👇🏾 ruclips.net/video/okJIXTvmUYI/видео.htmlsi=MoPr0j8Z3mnnwGoG
Listened to the full podcast. May Allah bless you all Ameen. You are all married & sophisticated with your words Allahumma Barik. It’s refreshing because podcasts from males online who are mostly not married or bitterly divorced or experience with bitter ex girlfriend - not a marriage. The fact that you are all a living example of traditional home is great. The burn out of a male and being feminine was an interesting point. I don’t know if advising that husband not feeding his baby was a good thing if he doesn’t feel burnt out especially he wasn’t complaining and wants his wife to rest? I agree, why is the wife allowing him to eventually burn out by over functioning but maybe that’s works for them and it makes them happy? I guess there’s no rules to what works… What if it caused an unnecessary fight after what Mu’aaz said to him? This is why people shouldn’t share their marriages with others (fam/friends) because it’s their own personal journey of what works for them doesn’t work for everyone.
@@mufasahm8238 Muaz here, thank you bro for another great piece of feedback. I didn't mention it at on the pod but the guy I warned of burnt out unfortunately did really get burnt out and a few months later put on loads of weight and couldn't cope with the demands of work. This is why I'm passionate about each of the spouses having their role and thriving in it. A mother can't nurture, raise and provide for her child. It's too much. But the father also shouldn't do all of that. There needs to be balance and designated roles between them. In fact the ideal scenario really is to have a village style community where your sister, neighbour, friend, grandmother, aunty - can all chip in to help the mother raise her child. But we live in a society that promotes the polar opposite of this.
@@Triple-ATalksAsalamu Alaykum Muaz. Thank you for the full story. That in fact he was burnt out and stressed. I agree with you. Apologies that I made an assumption. May Allah bless you reward you Ameen.
It's usually the men that go around talking about their partner to others. Not the women, some women do, but it's a minority. Women are a lot more secretive when it comes to what's going on in their marriage.
@Triple-ATalks my life experience around women. Usually, women talk when it's a girlfriend boyfriend situation. However, when a woman is married, she won't open up. Unless the marriage is in destruction because some or most women like to show they're always happy and content in a marriage around others and later only to find out that she's been going through it for the past year or more.
Guys if you want to see more of the gang and some personal stories then check out the latest episode 👇🏾 ruclips.net/video/okJIXTvmUYI/видео.htmlsi=MoPr0j8Z3mnnwGoG
I think love does play a big part, because if you love someone you naturally would want to respect them and be loyal to them, cook for them and be their comfort. It comes with it and it comes from the heart !! Nothing wrong with a lil Disney fairytale 🥲
I find it interesting that men always think they demand so little from women but they think women demand so much more from men. Is this because you don’t value what women bring to the table? Cooking, cleaning, nurturing, raising a family, etc. It’s definitely not easy or simple and it should be valued and appreciated just as much as what men bring.
@@Triple-ATalks nope, I think that’s why so many muslim women are becoming feminists. When Muslim men themselves don’t even value what women bring to the table, why would young girls want to value it. It’s sad tbh, cooking, cleaning and nurturing children isn’t where it ends. I see Muslim girls and guys smoking and doing all sorts of stuff, I believe it’s because women stopped nurturing and started providing. If Muslim men don’t value what Muslim women do, then trust me all you’ll see are a bunch of young feminist Muslimahs. No one wants to be under appreciated, and if women feel they are under appreciated, they will run to what people think is worth honor, which is making money and providing. “Jannah is underneath a mother’s feet”, “mother, mother, mother then father” these are not just quotes and they have deep reasoning behind that. We see so many Muslim women doing what Muslim men do, so many women work and provide whilst taking care of the home. We never see Muslim men providing and helping around the house, look at our ummah today, do you think it’s functional?
Muaz you said if you can’t afford the rent bills etc then don’t get married (I agree) but what if you are married and then lose your wealth, health etc and have diffiuclty to afford the basics - what then?
@@user-zr6tw8jb8v Muaz here, interesting question. If I lost my wealth and health, I would borrow money to keep me going and do everything I can to earn halal money by any means. We live in the UK so we are still fortunate enough to find opportunities. But if I couldn't find work I would have an open chat with my wife about the situation and how we must adjust - eg move to an affordable accommodation, live with family, etc. But I will never ask her to pay the bills. If she offers to work and I am physically unable then I will make sure that when I get better I pay all of that back to her and gift her with even more for her sacrifice.
No we didn’t say that, we said the man will burn out. However, we do believe if a man is working full time and his wife’s duty is to look after the household (no work) it is unfair on the man.
@@Triple-ATalksI don’t see how a man helping to take care of his own child is unfair on him. I genuinely don’t get it!! Especially after the wife just gave birth and in some cases escaped death or had a tear, people need to have more compassion to be honest. Women labour for as long as 3 days at times, how would a woman do all that and then give birth just for the man to claim it’s “unfair” to help feed. Also paternity leave a thing!! This is why we see Muslim children loving their mothers more, providing isn’t all it takes to have your children’s love.
Men think them working means they can’t get up and help feed their babies! I work part time as a GP 3 children, look after the home, the children and the husband yet I get zero help around the home with even one night feed
Great ep brothers 👏🏾
@@poeticjustice9649 thank you! Is there anything that stood out for you? Or do you disagree with anything?
Masha’Allah you guys smashed this! Looking forward to many more insha’Allah. I agree with a whole lot of what you all have discussed :) generally when you look at life through the lense of Deen, it makes logical sense.
I’m all for traditional gender roles, and maintaining the rights and responsibilities of each person. The difficulty I have found in searching for a spouse is the western mindset and the lack of this trait of leadership.
As a woman, I would agree with the notion of having a spouse making the decisions, some form of emotional connection/support and safety. In terms of status, I wouldn’t mind as long as I knew I could have an intelligent conversation or my spouse would teach me something I didn’t know? Muaz, you mentioned about women not wanting to admit they want a spouse smarter than them - I do! Haha. Saf, he mentioned in a previous video how Divorce was not even up for debate in the times our parents/grandparents were married. This is the outlook partners should have once compatibility is established for sure. If you work together and trust each other, the feeling of mercy and affection will be shared and natural. Also a point to recognise. Instead, you serve each other for the sake of Allah (swt). Another thought is to embody the notion of ‘what can I give’ not ‘what can I take’ in this relationship. This form of self-sacrifice is truly unconditional, honourable and comes from a place of good. When we come from a place of knowing who/what we are (soul, nafs) we can make better choices. Perhaps the biggest issue is some people haven’t even scratched the surface of knowing themselves! Again, living life for the sake of Allah (swt) has its perks in the modern world - especially when the list of requirements we are seeing to lock down a spouse is near impossible. All in all, God Fearing men are what women need in the 21st Century. I’m happy to run a household as long as we have each others backs.
@@sabr8399 Wow thank you for taking the time out to contribute your opinions and observations to our episode. It's very refreshing to see a Muslim sister in our society willing to stick to traditional gender roles which we believe ultimately leads to a more successful Muslim family dynamic - inshallah!
Appreciate the support!
Guys if you want to see more of the gang and some personal stories then check out the latest episode 👇🏾
ruclips.net/video/okJIXTvmUYI/видео.htmlsi=MoPr0j8Z3mnnwGoG
As a wife I have enjoyed listening to the male persepective of marriage etc. Sometimes me and my husband dont communicate our needs the way we should. Maybe he just doesnt know how to express himself. I have picked up some good understanding from this podcast. Thank you
@@sammy6877 this comment is a breath of fresh air so thank you for sharing. Unfortunately many men struggle to express and articulate themselves - this can be for a number of reasons. Communication is very important. We look forward to addressing the topic of "challenges of married Muslim men" in a future episode
We do expect them to be mind readers 😊. "can't you tell I'm upset" 😂 they are clueless until we tell them..but we're also afraid to tell them... LOL
@@Lezlee-abcxyz exactly! And that's the conundrum
Back with a bang, glad to see you bring the Sunnah Treks convos onto the podcast 😂
@@ayoubelazrak2905 Hahaha oiii what happens on the treks stays on the treks...
The one I never heard you guys mention is forgiveness. Marriage is a long journey and both sides are going to commit some mistakes along the way, so forgiveness is essential.
On a technical note make sure you guys speak on the same level. It’s a long podcast and most people would listen while doing something else, so it’s vital that the volume is clear at all times.
@@arabicknight100 thank you for that audio feedback! Yes you are right forgiveness is crucial and we should've touched on that! Thank you
Amazing podcast guys!
Thanks for listening
I wanted to hear something refreshing on this topic. Some good points were made but lots of tired out stereotypes. Men should feel safe to be emotionally vulnerable with their Mrs and women should be factored into the question of “what do women want”. I look forward to the next episode
What are tired out stereotypes?
This was our view on what we think women want so we chose not to factor you in😅
Constructive feedback- if I want advice on parenting, I will never go to someone with no children even if they had a pHD in child psychology. We can speak to our mothers, spouses, aunties, sisters etc to delve into what women want in a spouse. This is a delicate topic which needs to be delivered by experienced veterans with emotional intelligence, wisdom and knowledge. But still very good points were made Maa shaa Allah it’s good to hear what young Muslim brothers and sisters think as it opens up channels for healthy dialogues.
The final characteristics for both parties were good.
When Islam is the criteria and followed properly, many of these things will come naturally, rightly so.
But I think some points made, require nuanced discussions which I can appreciate is not possible with limited time.
Also- Lool of course you knew ‘obedience’ would be a trigger word but I’d like to add that there is basis for why many women have despised that specific word (not because of the word itself) but unfortunately many men have abused their role and under the banner of Islam used this sentiment to oppress women not for their protection but for other reasons. A small disclaimer would have been nice to acknowledge but again I understand why it may not have been mentioned.
Thank you.
Thank you for such great feedback. For the record we believe that the modern day husband is far more obedient than the modern day wife. Come on ladies you're falling behind😂
@ 🤣💀
Guys if you want to see more of the gang and some personal stories then check out the latest episode 👇🏾
ruclips.net/video/okJIXTvmUYI/видео.htmlsi=MoPr0j8Z3mnnwGoG
Listened to the full podcast. May Allah bless you all Ameen. You are all married & sophisticated with your words Allahumma Barik. It’s refreshing because podcasts from males online who are mostly not married or bitterly divorced or experience with bitter ex girlfriend - not a marriage. The fact that you are all a living example of traditional home is great. The burn out of a male and being feminine was an interesting point. I don’t know if advising that husband not feeding his baby was a good thing if he doesn’t feel burnt out especially he wasn’t complaining and wants his wife to rest? I agree, why is the wife allowing him to eventually burn out by over functioning but maybe that’s works for them and it makes them happy? I guess there’s no rules to what works… What if it caused an unnecessary fight after what Mu’aaz said to him? This is why people shouldn’t share their marriages with others (fam/friends) because it’s their own personal journey of what works for them doesn’t work for everyone.
@@mufasahm8238 Muaz here, thank you bro for another great piece of feedback. I didn't mention it at on the pod but the guy I warned of burnt out unfortunately did really get burnt out and a few months later put on loads of weight and couldn't cope with the demands of work.
This is why I'm passionate about each of the spouses having their role and thriving in it. A mother can't nurture, raise and provide for her child. It's too much. But the father also shouldn't do all of that. There needs to be balance and designated roles between them.
In fact the ideal scenario really is to have a village style community where your sister, neighbour, friend, grandmother, aunty - can all chip in to help the mother raise her child. But we live in a society that promotes the polar opposite of this.
@@Triple-ATalksAsalamu Alaykum Muaz. Thank you for the full story. That in fact he was burnt out and stressed. I agree with you. Apologies that I made an assumption. May Allah bless you reward you Ameen.
@@mufasahm8238 no problem at all and thanks again for sharing your thoughts
It's usually the men that go around talking about their partner to others. Not the women, some women do, but it's a minority. Women are a lot more secretive when it comes to what's going on in their marriage.
@@Londz12 what are you basing this on?
@Triple-ATalks my life experience around women. Usually, women talk when it's a girlfriend boyfriend situation. However, when a woman is married, she won't open up. Unless the marriage is in destruction because some or most women like to show they're always happy and content in a marriage around others and later only to find out that she's been going through it for the past year or more.
@@Londz12 interesting. Thanks for sharing
Guys if you want to see more of the gang and some personal stories then check out the latest episode 👇🏾
ruclips.net/video/okJIXTvmUYI/видео.htmlsi=MoPr0j8Z3mnnwGoG
I think love does play a big part, because if you love someone you naturally would want to respect them and be loyal to them, cook for them and be their comfort. It comes with it and it comes from the heart !! Nothing wrong with a lil Disney fairytale 🥲
@@Dals.99 thanks for your opinion! You sound like a married woman that knows what she is doing... Apart from the Disney Fairytale bit! 😂
I find it interesting that men always think they demand so little from women but they think women demand so much more from men. Is this because you don’t value what women bring to the table? Cooking, cleaning, nurturing, raising a family, etc. It’s definitely not easy or simple and it should be valued and appreciated just as much as what men bring.
@@xhenetamehmeti6714 thanks for the feedback. But don't you think that because so many feel this way then...there's some truth to it?
@@Triple-ATalks nope, I think that’s why so many muslim women are becoming feminists. When Muslim men themselves don’t even value what women bring to the table, why would young girls want to value it. It’s sad tbh, cooking, cleaning and nurturing children isn’t where it ends. I see Muslim girls and guys smoking and doing all sorts of stuff, I believe it’s because women stopped nurturing and started providing. If Muslim men don’t value what Muslim women do, then trust me all you’ll see are a bunch of young feminist Muslimahs. No one wants to be under appreciated, and if women feel they are under appreciated, they will run to what people think is worth honor, which is making money and providing. “Jannah is underneath a mother’s feet”, “mother, mother, mother then father” these are not just quotes and they have deep reasoning behind that. We see so many Muslim women doing what Muslim men do, so many women work and provide whilst taking care of the home. We never see Muslim men providing and helping around the house, look at our ummah today, do you think it’s functional?
Muaz you said if you can’t afford the rent bills etc then don’t get married (I agree) but what if you are married and then lose your wealth, health etc and have diffiuclty to afford the basics - what then?
@@user-zr6tw8jb8v Muaz here, interesting question. If I lost my wealth and health, I would borrow money to keep me going and do everything I can to earn halal money by any means.
We live in the UK so we are still fortunate enough to find opportunities.
But if I couldn't find work I would have an open chat with my wife about the situation and how we must adjust - eg move to an affordable accommodation, live with family, etc. But I will never ask her to pay the bills. If she offers to work and I am physically unable then I will make sure that when I get better I pay all of that back to her and gift her with even more for her sacrifice.
A woman wants protection, respect love care and man should be mentally matured as well.
Great points 👌
It's crazy that you guys think helping your wife with night feeds is simping
No we didn’t say that, we said the man will burn out. However, we do believe if a man is working full time and his wife’s duty is to look after the household (no work) it is unfair on the man.
@@Triple-ATalksI don’t see how a man helping to take care of his own child is unfair on him. I genuinely don’t get it!! Especially after the wife just gave birth and in some cases escaped death or had a tear, people need to have more compassion to be honest. Women labour for as long as 3 days at times, how would a woman do all that and then give birth just for the man to claim it’s “unfair” to help feed. Also paternity leave a thing!! This is why we see Muslim children loving their mothers more, providing isn’t all it takes to have your children’s love.
Men think them working means they can’t get up and help feed their babies! I work part time as a GP 3 children, look after the home, the children and the husband yet I get zero help around the home with even one night feed
@@asophia5562 then you have to communicate that (calmly) to your husband as opposed to just simple vent out here
@@servantofAllah108 so much inaccuracies in this statement and it seems you misunderstood or misinterpreted the points made in the episode.
Please ask our Somali brother to stop banging his hand on the table… sounds bad to the ears and sounds like Pakistani Table 😂😂
@@shanaz3 😂😂😂