It's too much. So self indulgent, it's a bit cringe. "Show them what dearhworlders are" "Show them how earth predators hunt" So many hyperbolies, metaphores, etc, no subtility whatsoever. It is generic and cliché. Yes there is a cool story, but it needs refining. Cool it on the superlatives. No one talks like that except supremacists. Space marines don't talk like that and they were literally engineered to be mostly unstoppable killing machines. It feels either like it's been AI-written, or like it's the first story OP ever wrote, with all the clichés and cool think they could fit in there.
That’s it!
Just as victory is won … suddenly a new menace arrives!
That’s how to use surprise!
I’m impressed
Excellent story thank you
that well known and scary Predetor Thunder scares even me
I have to wonder, using multi dimensions theory, if there are any dimensions where the Luminary are actually combative lol
The word 'debris' was originally from France and is pronounced ( di-bree ). The S is silent.
I keep forgetting to hit the 'thumbs up'. Sorry....
Good story , too wordy ,excessively repetitive, please proof read next time
It's too much.
So self indulgent, it's a bit cringe.
"Show them what dearhworlders are" "Show them how earth predators hunt"
So many hyperbolies, metaphores, etc, no subtility whatsoever.
It is generic and cliché.
Yes there is a cool story, but it needs refining.
Cool it on the superlatives. No one talks like that except supremacists. Space marines don't talk like that and they were literally engineered to be mostly unstoppable killing machines.
It feels either like it's been AI-written, or like it's the first story OP ever wrote, with all the clichés and cool think they could fit in there.