AUTISTIC MOTHER |Purple Ella
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- Опубликовано: 22 авг 2024
- Autistic mother. I am an autistic mother. In this video I talk about my experiences as an autistic mother. The difficulties I have and the strategies I use to overcome them. If you like my videos don't forget to SUBSCRIBE and ring the NOTIFICATION BELL.
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A little bit about me:
Hi I'm Purple Ella and my family is an autism family with three out of five of us on the autistic spectrum. So life can be a challenge but also a lot of fun.
Helpful links
The National Autistic Society - autism.org.uk
You are a great mother, with your validating techniques instead of trying to problem solve for your kids.
My dad's was diagnosed as autistic a few years back, so growing up none of us had any idea and a lot of his behaviors came off as callous or obsessive or cold, and it was very hard. I'm glad that there's more resources available now, and an actual word for the spectrum, and it's been very lovely and informative seeing so many young autistic parents explaining it from their side of the story. I'm glad to have seen this video, I feel like I understand my father a bit more. You are a wonderful mother, and I wish you and your family the best.
Nicol Valentina do your children have autism asswell ?
I have a girlfriend and I'm aspergers typical. For years I've been scolded on the thought of having children and being told I am not an adult yet (27 years old right now). I'm sick of it. My girlfriend wants children as much as I do and once I have a child I will be able to prove once and for all I will be a good mother at LEAST and everyone will have no choice but to hush and love the child I brought into this world. Its so sad when people think the worst just because you see the world and feel the world differently. It doesn't mean we're incapable of love and hard work.
Mason Nix it’s absolutely not true
Mason Nix And how do you now that?
@@masonnix9566 You know not everyone with ASD are the same...they have different issues and also different levels...for example I have Aspergers...high functioning...most people dont even know I have it...my cousin also has high functioning autism but you can tell slightly...so how can you say that every person with ASD would be a bad parent....
@@masonnix9566 And also I am wonderful with children...all of my nieces and nephews love me and Im the favorite aunt and I use to watch my nephew 5 or 6 days a week and did perfect he is a loveable and sensitive sweet child because of how I tool care of him...
@@masonnix9566 Jehovah is part of your religion, not everyone's. 🤦🏻♀️ "Labels" make no difference. And if you're discrediting the existence of autism, you're also discrediting your original comment. Quit being so hateful and assuming you know everything. If you can't be kind to a stranger and feel the need to tell them they don't deserve to be parents.... Maybe you should look in a mirror.
I struggle when my kids come up to me with whining and complaining, if I feel frustrated and know I don't have the energy to try to solve their problem, I've trained myself to say "do you need a hug?" which usually works. I'm not a big hugger so this prompt ensures I give more than I would left to my own devices. And thank you for the hand-over-fist suggestions, I will implement that immediately!
EastVanC I have a toddler and hate the constant whining and complaining. 🙈😅 She is nearing on two, but doesn't speak a lot of words. And just the level of frustration she experiences and I do are intense. I also don't like to be touched. She is often on me, still breastfeeding and I manage it, but then having to add words, it's all too much. Glad to know I'm not alone!!
@@HarrietFitzgerald580 It's called claustrophobia! Try to work in alone time as much as possible, it helps recharge the batteries when the clinging gets to be too much. In my 8 years as a parent, I have never taken my kids grocery shopping so at the very least, that's me time.
Good advice...maybe in a little while I'll be able to get alone time, for now they're both under 2 and I'm home alone with them, so I don't really get that. Evenings go by super fast and I get no alone time then. If I'm lucky husband will put toddler to bed and then I only have the baby to manage....as I keep reminding myself, daily, "this too shall pass." *Hopefully (Haha)
A friend of mine on the spectrum recently had a baby and tbh she’s on of the most gentle and caring mothers I’ve ever met. She never yells or gets upset, she’s always cuddling and loving on her baby and is always trying to make her as comfortable as possible, to the point where I’ve had to remind her she needs to care for herself too. As someone who’s also autistic I hope I can be as good a mom as she is one day
I have Aspergers. I loved the baby year! The toddler years are killing me..
Dokurochan85 toddlers are tough!! Hugs!! 💕
Wow, I hated the baby stuff, ick! - but *had* I known I had AS, instead of being hounded by well-meaning but unhelpful health workers, I would have been better, & put strategies in place. Older years are much better, for me; wouldn't be without them now..! Tho' I agree, 11-13 not good.. 😂
I was the same, my daughter is 5 now and I can find it very challenging but not as bad as when she was 2/3. It’ll get better x
I am autistic + bipolar disorder. I feel you
@@justhereforthe_comments8994 How does your daughter feel??
With all my heart I wish there had been a Mother and Baby unit where I was in America. I was overloaded with severe OCD(diagnosed at 16) and what I was unaware of was Autism. I'd always had a pretty controlled environment living with my Mom, and then living with my husband. We got pregnant after 7 months of marriage, and boy did the panic attacks take hold. They only got worse after I had my son. I went to the hospital and asked for help for "post partum problems", because emergency rooms are suspicious of everyone who looks anxious of being on drugs. They still kinda did, but they didn't do much. I had to wait 1-2 months PP to see a psychiatrist. Gabapentin helped me a little until we could move in with my sweet Mother in law. We drove from Illinois to Texas to live with her. 4 years later, my son is diagnosed with Autism and everything becomes very clear, and I'm watching all the "female autism" videos, and seeing myself in the list of symptoms. I would like to get assessed, but not sure how.
Well done! One of the best videos so far but I always love your videos! You described the experience of being an autistic mother to the tea. Much of my experiences were similar!
Bite Smaller thank you. It's affirming to me too that you shared similar experiences.
My mother was severely autistic and with an intelligence handicap. She lost custody of me way too late, I was emotionally damaged for life. My first suicide attempt was at 11 years old. Its like she didnt understand her words affected other peoples emotions. She had absolutely NO understanding of that.
I can relate.And I am so sorry that happened to you.
It is very difficult to find any information or online support for those of us who were severely damaged by undiagnosed autistic parents.
I am quite far down right now, just became mother of a boy. You gave me hope.... just a little bit. Deep depression has taken over my life since I gave birth... (yes, I am also a mother on the spectrum ) 🙂
TheMcLene sending positive thoughts. 💕 I suspect, highly, being on the spectrum. I now have 2 under 2, cosleeping, breastfeeding both, etc. Some days are really, really hard, but I am doing it one day at a time.
Hang in there! My first was a boy and just about killed me. This too shall pass.
@@HarrietFitzgerald580 Yes! And it does pass! The next thing you know, they don't suffer from sleepiness during the day or need a nap and the fun really begins. Or the quiet art projects in my case ;)
EastVanC quiet art projects! You speak to my soul! 💕😍
I hope you are getting treatment for the depression. I’ve been there, and please know that it WILL pass eventually, and you’ll enjoy that baby. Be gentle with yourself.
So refreshing to see and hear from another mother on the spectrum with spectrum and neurotypical children. I'm 34 and a mother of 3. 2 of which are autistic. Oldest girl and middle boy. My youngest is neurotypical. I have asd too, late diagnosed. Your experiences are so similar to mine! Have subscribed and look forward to seeing more videos!
What do you do to accommodate your NT child?
My mother's undiagnosed Autism led her to have highly explosive tantrums when I didn't perform tasks to the exact specs. Though my mother didn't believe in medicating me ever, she herself has been on as many meds as heth ledger. I grew up not knowing what was happening to my mom because I was terrified of her, so my Autistic mind was never able to notice the patterns of her behavior because I was left alone to stew a maddening brew of Fear/Sadness/ANGER. I grew up with more burning hatred no bit should have for his mother, but she never came to me afterward to explain the reasoning of her outbursts or my punishment. Nor did she seem interested in apologizing for taking things too far in scolding me, nor was my opinion or feelings on the matter asked for. So I made my own choice to turn myself into a Vulcan and keep anything I felt or thought to myself for about the 25 years of my life until her tantrums and unwillingness to let go of her title of MOM. It forced me to ghost my mom and all family members. Now here I am, having been on my own since I turned 19 or 20, and I am trying to figure out how to approach my mom and tell her she is autistic, tell her what she did wrong and tell her what needs to change if she wants me to be in her life. I survived Trump's presidency; I don't have anything to prove to her, but I do need my mom to do what She always told me to do growing up "Shut Up and just Stand there and look stupid."
Same in my case . My mom used to have a lot of anger issues and she would yell at me in her loudest voice for the smallest mistakes. She didn't express her sadness/fear/love/vulnerable emotions but she was great at expressing her anger and aggression. When I was a child I was terrified of her. Also, I guess she had very few maternal instincts and she misunderstood me frequently. She is kinda toxic and she doesn't realize herself being rude. If I confront her about her behaviour either she'll play a victim card or give excuses or sometimes even blame me for everything or get an angry outburst. She prefers being alone and she mimics her behaviour when someone else is around. She wasn't like other women who are great at managing the household and are emotionally available and attached to their kids. I had a lot of emotional problems while growing up and I still do and I'm looking forward to going to a therapy session. Also, she could be easily manipulated and she is not good at understanding social norms. As a result, I had to learn them all and it was hard since I am very sure that I'm also autistic. I was bullied a lot in primary and middle school and she didn't help me but told me to be strong and sometimes even yelled at me for being bullied. That was emotional abuse but if I tell her the same she'll ignore me at first and if I repeat it, again and again, she'll yell at me or throw something in anger. A lot of things have been broken in my house because of her inability to control her anger. Although she didn't hit me physically, the emotional scars are still there and it hurts a lot seeing other mums being loving to their children.
I really like your videos and you’re really brave to have 3 children 🖤
One thing I would really like to see is how to deal with in laws, being an autistic wife. I have so many difficulties, I got married recently and I still feel like a visitor in the house I live in and specially when my mother in law comes to visit her son. Like , she’ll move things and not put back ,and my husband becomes a different person hiding some habits that he normally has and I feel insulted and can’t say anything, I end up spending the whole time she’s there locked in a room and I have meltdowns and need time to recover after she goes away. I would have gone away if I had a job and money to pay for a hotel, but I don’t :/
Beatriz F oh my goodness can I relate to this. My mother in law is lovely and sooo helpful with the kids. But I feel like when she’s with us she’s the dominant woman (due to her age and position in the family) and I find that difficult. Sooo my advise is to be honest with her about your autism and how you need her not to move stuff in your house and any other needs you have. You should absolutely expect your husband to back you up. If this goes well brilliant. If it doesn’t I’d say that’s not your issue at all and it’s up to your husband to help you develop a positive relationship with his Mum 🙂 hope that’s helpful.
Wait, what exactly did you mean by "still feel like a visitor in the house I live in"? Because I'm currently in the diagnosing process, and I always felt like just a visitor even in my own apartments before I moved in with my now husband. The fact that he owns about 10 times the things I have and stuffs every corner with things just because he has them doesn't make it easier. When I lived on my own, I had a special irder of everything I owned, and I liked to reorganize it from time to time. Now I still have most of my things in order, and I will rearrange them every so often, but most of the time I just don't touch them and I don't even feel like they're mine anymore. Is that an autistic trait?
Great vlog! I have to say that I absolutely love your channel! My 3 year old daughter was just recently diagnosed with high functioning autism, and to be honest it is really hard to find resources on this topic because I could not seem to find anything that seemed relavent to my daughter.(I honestly thought she had a misdiagnosis) Until, I found your girl vs boy video about the different ways autism presents itself. It made so much more sense than anything else I have found. The most difficult thing about being a parent to an autistic child for me is the fact that I do not have autism,and she is at an age where she cannot yet explain how she feels or what her thought process is, and I have a hard time knowing 1.) what is “normal” autistic behavior. 2.) how to help her cope with the things she does not understand/understanding how her brain functions. And 3.) what I can do as her mom to give her the tools she needs to succeed. Again thank you so much for sharing your experiences it has given me great hope.
Kaye Teel big hugs and so good of you to try and understand your daughter. I suspect being on the spectrum and my daughter has similar traits as me, however some of them could easily just be her being an average toddler. Hard to know sometimes. I think the important thing is to try and be kind and supportive, which sounds like you already are!! 💕
I have autism and this video was amazing and gives me hope! Thank you Ella..
Amen, sister. I am an autistic mother of three children (2 boys and 1 girl; 2 autistic and 1 NT). I didn't know I was autistic until after they were born.
I found the baby years difficult but beautiful and the toddler years straight up hard.
Thank you for this video. My husband and I are preparing to start a family, and I'm currently researching what it's like to be an autistic mom. There is so little information available, so this video really helped get a perspective.
Pregnancy the first time around was the most invasive, scary and earth-shattering experience ever....however I did it again 😅 and second time around went much more smoothly, as I "knew" what to expect. It felt much less like being invaded by a little alien and a little more like a regular pregnancy. 🙈😂
What is your attitude now towards your first born?
@@mirandatarantella love her to bits! I now have 5 children.
You are doing great, better than lots of regular moms keep tge good job ☝
There is zero support for young people raised by mothers with undiagnosed autism spectrum. It all seems to focus on the autistic mother and not the way her autism effects her children. I had an incredibly difficult time growing up because my mother would just blow up whenever anything got stressful. I also feel massively disconnected from her as her autism means she cannot take others perspective.
The baby year was in the beginning so easy, but the more toddler my son got, the more exhausting it was and I went down into a burnout. I don't have an autism diagnosis, but I do relate to autistic people as if for the first time, I was "normal". Since two months, my now 3.6 years old has become easier to handle. I have a better understanding of avoiding triggers for meltdowns, I have learned that for my son, strictness is not working, giving respect and explaining circumstances is. And as Corona politics have become less fluctuating, we could finally establish routine, which feels great.
Great vlog, Ella. I'm Autistic Auntie. None of my nephews or my niece are on the spectrum. I had became one when I was a child myself since I have two older step-siblings. I struggle with them; especially when siblings fight. I need space when I'm overwhelmed - and I cannot escape until the coast is clear. We don't have routines but they always misbehave, which is hard for everybody in my family.
Yes, I'll be very interested to see a vlog about Autism and Pregnancy. :D x
Brilliant. I remember struggling more with nephews and nieces pre children just because I wasn't used to it or in a routine. Would love to do that video.
Me too; I've been thinking about doing one myself for a while. It's a great topic to discuss. :D x
I am on the spectrum and this has gave me a sense of closure on what if I decide to have a baby when I’m old enough
The thought and care you put into parenting is so lovely. I am neurotypical but have some auditory sensory sensitivities and the touching of the hand seems like t would be a great strategy for me as well. Thank you for sharing!
Had extreme meltdowns when my kid was resisting all sleeping schedules… but I also had no help with childcare and struggling with burnout. Sleep becomes a real issue then, a nightmare that was. I of course do not leave my kid crying alone when he doesn’t wanted to sleep, so I just tried to survive and not be a trauma to my child. 😢
Beautiful tips. 💕 Currently have two kids, under two, so massively, overwhelming chapter of parenthood, even if I were neurotypical, which I doubt I am. 🙈😅 Daily struggles occur. I feel so alone and constantly overwhelmed. My husband tries to be supportive, but doesn't understand me. I have no official diagnosis either and so my husband doesn't really "believe" this is what I have or could have...well he believes it's possible but hasn't really researched it since it might not be the fit diagnosis. It's tough. 😞😓 Been trying to do research on moms on the spectrum and my goodness there is very, very little information out there. I've been told that even if I get an autism diagnosis there is virtually no help or support for me afterwards, which makes this even more isolating. All this to say that I'm glad you're here, talking about this!! ❤️
I couldn't find anything apart from ella!
Thank you Ella. you are helping me to feel that by discovering im neurodiverse that i can still achieve my dream of being a SAHM. Thank you x
I have ADHD , I know some people with Autism and one of my birth dad ‘s older Cousin have a son with autism. I have some friends with ADHD and Autism. People can have a baby and autism is different for others . I do want some kids to and God / Jesus Christ knows the man for me . Some times the kids are not like their mom and dad . Thanks for the video and I love the 21 Century because the laws change for the best in America and some other Countries . People with disabilities can have their own family and kids. Everyone have disabilities ! I love your accent God bless and your family to .
I would say I can't believe the US doesn't offer the kind of specialist mother-baby unit you've described, but I'm definitely not surprised--we don't like to provide holistic healthcare here :)
I am so grateful for your videos Ella. Over the last few months I have gone from feeling I would never be able to have a child to actively planning and preparing to have a baby in the next 5 years. I am autistic with ADHD and have done a lot of work with my therapist on myself, and now I am going to work on re-parenting myself along with gentle parenting techniques for my future child. I am no longer terrified of parenting thanks to you and other neurodivergent parents on RUclips.
My mom(probably having undiagnosed autism) used to have a lot of anger issues and she would yell at me in her loudest voice for the smallest mistakes. She didn't express her sadness/fear/love/vulnerable emotions but she was great at expressing her anger and aggression. When I was a child I was terrified of her. Also, I guess she had very few maternal instincts and she misunderstood me frequently. She is kinda toxic and she doesn't realize herself being rude. If I confront her about her behavior either she'll play a victim card or give excuses or sometimes even blame me for everything or get an angry outburst. She prefers being alone and she mimics her behavior when someone else is around. She wasn't like other women who are great at managing the household and are emotionally available and attached to their kids. I had a lot of emotional problems while growing up and I still do and I'm looking forward to going to a therapy session. Also, she could be easily manipulated and she is not good at understanding social norms. As a result, I had to learn them all and it was hard since I am very sure that I'm also autistic. I was bullied a lot in primary and middle school and she didn't help me but told me to be strong and sometimes even yelled at me for being bullied. That was emotional abuse but if I tell her the same she'll ignore me at first and if I continue telling how it affects me she'll yell at me or throw something in anger. A lot of things have been broken in my house because of her inability to control her anger then. Although she didn't hit me physically and now things are better as she doesn't get angry outbursts a lot, the emotional scars are still there and it hurts a lot seeing other mums being loving to their children.
I'm so sorry you have had to endure what you have expressed.There is practically zero support or information for those of us who were "raised" by undiagnosed, unaware autistic mothers who caused us enormous,lasting harm.
My mom held my tongue in the proper place when I was a toddler in order to help me learn to speak properly. Every night, she would take a soft plastic brush and rub me down to desensitize my skin. I spent a large portion of my childhood in speech and occupational therapy. I can go pretty much anywhere. I can go places my mother could not go alone at my age, like the grocery store. Some of my shoes have laces on them. I wear my shirts and socks right-side in.
My mother has a lot of issues which made her very difficult to live with. But, she also made sure I was able to speak, write, and go into buildings. She didn't want me to experience the same things she experienced. I still have autism, and I go nonverbal sometimes, but I have the power of speech and language. I am saying this because even if someone is not always perfect as a mother, it's still a good thing for an autistic child to have an autistic mom. :)
I called my overwhelmed moments being Hulk Mommy. I would be very patient andsoft and quiet until I suddenly wasn’t.
I'm the dragon mommy
And what did you do???? My God.
Lots of people think people with autism lack empathy but I can hear the empathy in what you express about meeting your kids needs and from what i have heard other woman with autism express. I would love a video on emotions you feel towards other people. Are some emotions greater do believe? Maybe there is struggle when you can’t control them as they get older so you worry? And what emotions are difficult for you to relate to/understand? thank you so much for all your work
I'm afraid of getting children. I would be brilliant at it, but I would be judged cause of my label.... I've seen it happen. Rather than help they judge, and make it that much harder for them which they then use as an excuse to take the child rather than help them -_-
Finally I found another Mother who also has Autism,you talk very well,and have a wide range of words,I am totally in wow! I have moderate severe Autism with 2 boys,my oldest has more severe Autism than I have and my youngest has adhd,from what I have heard you say you seem to be doing very well.
I loved when mine were babies! External challenges were trying to relate to NT parents when my children were in school and made friends. I REALLY struggled with that whole aspect. Tried to get involved at school but found the women to be bitchy and nasty so this whole experience felt like High School all over again so I withdrew from that. Decades later my Husband was Assessed for ADHD which I suspected once I was kitted out with a Laptop and "Google" ; D Great for research !!! which explained the feeling I had of having another child to look after because he is chaos personified and has no concept of time, consistency or discipline ( consequences ) it's still a struggle to the point where I have ended up with Serious burnout. We found out over time all our kids ( two grown up now ) and our last on the verge of heading off to Uni in the next few years are Aspie and sprinkled with ADHD. Loved your advice Ella and so related to what you were saying. It makes me sad though that I felt so alone when my Husband was so "fun" and I felt like a Police Officer instead of having the room to be balanced for my kids as they were growing up. You remind of a cousin I have who devastatingly ended up in a tragic car accident. and passed away. Love your smile, your ability to convey so well for the Autistic community our struggles but also our success and strengths. I "garner" ( te he ) a lot of strategies from your content. You are a Blessing!!!
Great advises! Thank you
oh my days you understand! undiagnosed but believe i am on the ASD spectrum, thankyou so much for this video! x
Wow! Your approach of researching social situations and finding different perspectives is brilliant! It would be helpful for most people, neurodivergent or neurotypical, because social navigation is so easy to mess up. Often, neurotypical people feel confident they understand a situation, but are actually completely wrong.
I have CPTSD and that gives me some issues with sensory overload, mostly auditory. I will definitely try your hand-touch signal and decompressing methods.
Great channel.😌 you are amazing and an inspiration. 💕
This was really good, thank you.
I found out about me having autism after birthing my daughter. I’m terrible mother. Her father is taking care of her most of the time (now after break up)
Good for you,for recognizing your limitations. I hope you will be able to have a relationship with your daughter in future.
My oldest napped until my youngest stopped. I NEEDED that time during the day. And bed times were much stricter than any if our friends were.
Thank you for this video! You have shown that people who have autism can be perants. I have autism and i always wanted to be a mother someday, again thank you for this video.
This is kinda helpful with me and my younger siblings, I basically have to parent them and I’m autistic, I feel bad for having meltdowns around them and not getting all their needs met , they’re really good kids but my parents had done quite the damage on them and I want to help em as much as i can .
great channel. you're answering questions that are so important, while also being difficult & soul destroying to google, I hope you don't mind if I ask a few more. what about Mr Purple? are you in a neurologically mixed marriage? if so, how do you think that affects parenting?
(I'm in a neurologically mixed polyamorous relationship myself. me & metamor are autistic/dyspraxic, girlfriend is bipolar. we don't have kids yet, but we all want them some day. I'm worried we might end up with a perfect storm of "all 3 parents have executive functioning issues" and "we're trying to communicate with family members with different neurologies" and "we're dealing with prejudice because our family looks odd" so any insight to co-parenting with a neurotypical-or-other would be great)
Hi Jude, Yes my husband isn't autistic, so we are neurologically mixed I guess. I think this is great for parenting as I can be very sensitive to the needs of our autistic children. Whilst Mr Purple is able to help our children navigate the neurotypical world more easily than I can. Honestly I think the main and most important thing is that all and any parenting is coming from a place of love and respect and the rest just kinda falls into place. Hope thats helpful 🙂
Amazing thank you
I agree one of the things I love about parenting is the structure . However I only found out I was on the spectrum when I couldn’t take my daughter swimming because she needed to go to the doctor for some reason I was so upset . Of course I cared about her and as a mum I knew I had to take her but it was the catalyst that really added the dots - I crave knowing what’s going to happen and as long as I’ve planned it it’s good but if it’s not in my plan .
I’m learning to have compassion for myself and am finally seeking the resources and support needed to make it through . Btw I was diagnosed at 40 years old and have a 3 and 9 year old 😏
So glad I came across this! I recently found out about my ASD which has shed so much light on my struggles. But I am having a really difficult time trying to pin down a routine. I have 3 small children. 5, 3, and 1 and a half. They are all quite the handful and always end up straying way off the original plan. The biggest struggle is in the afternoon once I pick up the oldest from school. It all goes downhill from there 😕 and don't get me started in bedtime. They become wild animals. When my husband is home it's a little easier. But nights when he has class and I'm on my own I'm pretty much in tears by the time I finally get them all in bed. Any suggestions?
Griselle Zapata hi, I remember how difficult it was when my children were tiny. They’re now 6,8 and 10and believe me it gets a ton easier! For now I’d suggest you make a plan for after school, work out how long you have between pick up and giving them dinner. If you are low on energy or overwhelmed because of your autism the plan can be watch TV and cuddle up. If you’re feeling good and patient, then perhaps pull out some craft stuff and let them make a mess. Bedtime is hard on your own with such small children. I would either, put the older ones in front of the TV and put them to bed in age order. Or I’d do storytime on your bed with all three, then send the older two to bed to wait for you whilst you put the younger one down, then go to them to tuck them in. I hope this was helpful, and trust me when you’re at the stage I’m at it’s gonna be a lot less stressful.
I suspect being in the spectrum, but I've heard that even in neurotypical households, supper time and bedtime are the hardest part of the day, usually where meltdowns occur, sometimes for parents and kids. 😅🙈
You look like you would be a lot of fun as a mom. 😁
How did you get diagnosed and did that help your children get diagnosed or was it the other way around?
RELAX PEOPLE AUTISM IS NOT CONTAGIOUS! YOU NOT GONNA CATCH SOME DISEASE. NOW GO OUT THERE AND SHOW ASD FOLKS SOME LOVE!
Ella your so inspirational! I’m only 15 at the moment, but when I’m an adult, I would love to have a child, if my child turned out to have autism like me, I would make sure they get the support that they need!... I’ve heard from a few pupils that when your child is born they get a phew scans on them to see if they are neurotypical or non neurotypical, Is this true?
I have a while yet until motherhood, but when it comes to motherhood I will be full with lots of joy!
Best wishes 💕
I wish I had that help. I'm going through all that and not much help in America plus been working to get a diagnosis for a while. But I now know 100% that I'm autistic and they are in the 3&5 age at this point. And sounds like my sensory or needs as in autisic is very similar to my needs. At least I know I'm not completely crazy now. Doesnt make me feel better with all the struggles. I'm trying to get a routine and I keep failing at it but persevere somehow.
Im currently possibly getting an evaluation done for being autistic or having adhd.. im 29 with 3 kids.. I love the baby year but toddler years a big struggle.. I am currently constantly overstimulated with sounds and sight.. so much that I get stressed, clench my jaw and feel sick to my stomache.. and because of that and because i feel overstimulated and overwhelmed by the thought of everything that has to get done, all the mess, I cant even bring myself to do things like cutting and glueing things that I otherwise would love to do.. but knowing there will be tons of mess that I have to clean up becomes too big for me.. do you have any tips or ideas on how to do these things and enjoy the things I enjoy without it becoming an overload because of the aftermath?
Exactly my experience. Exactly.
Great video, I would love a video on the births of your children while also being on the spectrum. I know I too found it so important to have a bedtime routine. You are amazing. Love from america oxoxo
Shaunalea 82 thank you! I will work on that video.
I loved your video. I am 34 years old and I was diagnosed with autism when I was 31 years old. I'm also three months pregnant.right now there's not really a autism support system where I live at all not even any adults that I know have autism so I found your video very helpful hopefully we talk soon
Finally a mother who has autism instead of the other way around.
I had to give my son up because of my autism and I hope he does not have it either. I felt like a horrible parent from doing it but I am not sure if it was best for my son. I don't have much money but I sure the couple who adopted him did.
That was another reason, kids are very high maintenance (especially autistic or disabled ones). I hope my son is highly intelligent like my relatives.
Also when were you diagnosed? I was diagnosed back in 96 when I was around 4 or 5. It was a big hype in the 1990s. I even got a brain scan.
Thank you for loving your son enough to give him to people who can care for him.
Ur speech is very good level ...how? My daughter is 6 year and autistic but she is feeling very difficulty in this area...i m very worried
How do you talk to your children about your diagnosis in a way that they can understand? Do you always have open conversations about it since two of your littles are also on the spectrum? What does that look like?
Again,no answer.
Is there a Father/Husband in the picture to help share the load of parenting , providing for the family , taking the children on a outing so you can have some " Me " time ?
Hi Ella. Great video, thank you. I am interested to know what age your children were when you discovered you were on the autistic spectrum? How have you talked to your children about this. Did you tell them and do you think this helped them to understand you better? I am a nerotypical (I think?!) mum. My husband is our ‘stay-at-home’ Dad with our children (9 & 11yrs - both nerotypical, although they display similar traits to their dad - not as sociable as me!! But I think that is more nurture than nature..?) and he has coped brilliantly with their early years with super routines and discipline but life has its ups and huge downs and difficulties and for the past year we (my husband and I) have started to suspect he may be on the autistic spectrum. What advice would you give us and how can I find out more about being an autistic dad so that we can give him more support and also help the children understand what’s going on? There is SO much on the internet about parenting children with autism but SO LITTLE about supporting parents with autism. I think this is going to be so important as more adults get diagnosed after years of being misunderstood and labelled incorrectly as shy, unsociable, depressed, rude, lazy/unmotivated, with low self-esteem etc etc.. 😞. Thank you in advance. Kate
No answer.Interesting.
Were you a single mom? Some people are fortunate to have family around thar are eager to help with babies.
Hi, do you have a husband? If yes, is he autistic too? I'm asking you this question because every time I search about autistic parents, the subject is more focused on autistic mothers (even though the majority of the autism community is male). I don't hear a lot about autistic fathers. I feel that women on the spectrum have to choose between a childfree couple life or parenthood as a single mother. My boyfriend is an aspi and he admits that he has no patience towards children but you don't to be on the spectrum to be a childfree.
Would you potentially share a type of routine that might work for an Autistic mom with a new baby? Ie, one that would have worked for you had you known what to expect and that you’re on the spectrum. Thank you. And your channel is 10/10
If thus channel or anyone knows of ANY book or blog or vlog that details the answer to your question,that would be extremely helpful.
I am getting the impression that autistic mothers are still being left to their own devices to "just get on with it" in terms of being a mother and that simply is not sufficient.
I wonder if Mom had un-diagnosed ASD. She did not like touch.
Hereditary.🎵
Kinda sucks if you're a male person with autism, since you need to work and put bread on your families plate. I'm not autistic but I just kind of get it. Wait am I not autistic?
I am on the spectrum and I am scared to have children (scared that they will be on the spectrum too).
Don't have children. What she is doing is rare. Most undiagnosed moms have a lot of trouble controlling anger. At no fault to them, they just don't know. If I knew I was autistic before having children. I would have never had children.
I have autism
I just found out, our high functioning autism life expectancy is 54..
I WANT TO BE A GRANDMOTHER, I WANT TO WATCH MY GRANDCHILDREN GROW UP!!!
Do you mean that that's when the ability to function ends at 54?
@@tinachristine4573 well thats for the avrage