Consider this model of Grief to support your Grief Journey! 🙏🏻. Join The Grievolution Collective to support your Grief with likeminded Grievers. www.jomcrogers.com/grievolution-collective.html
I have three pictures of my husband that I talk to. The first is in the bedroom and I tell him good morning and good night. The second is in the den where I watch tv and sometimes feel he is there with me and the third is in my wallet so he goes with me wherever I go. I talk to him in the car. He has been gone almost 7 months. But we were blessed to be together for 40 years. I expect I will be taking to him for the rest of my life.
I can see a little more use for the "get through it, get over it and go on" idea with a grief of like a loss other than death. Like a divorce, job, finger, house fire.. etc because we possibly actually CAN go on to have a new job, new marriage, new house and stuff. But in the case of a death of someone very close you love you can never replace that person. And so for many of us yes, we can only move forward WITH that person. Not away from them.
I say goodnight every night to my husband,he passed 2-24-2023. We were married 54 years then I thank God for our love and years together. We grew up together raising our 2 children.
I write to my daughter on her Messenger account. I tell her stories about her little son, family news, about what's blooming in my garden, news of her friends, etc and I include photos. And sometimes I just tell her that I love her and miss her. 💔
I love this model. my son passed away a year ago from Cancer. I watch a missed call video from him, tell corny Dad Jokes, play his favorite music for him when I light a candle next to his ashes. I visit the beach where most of his ashes are spread in Santa Cruz
My husband has been gone a year. He took his life and I talk with him and share with him regularly. I keep an oral journal and it helps so much. Sometimes it is just a conversation with him. ❤️ I am not stuck or losing my sanity.
Jo each video you are talking to me..I lost my husband 3 years ago to lung cancer…since then life is a struggle however since I have joined your channel everything you say fits me …it is such a shame that grief bereavement is not taught at school because at some point in our lives we all experience grief love you xxxfrom Eileen in Northamptonshire UK👍❤️🙏
Thank you Jo, for you kind and insightful comments. I lost my wife 1 year and 5 months ago, we were together 33 years. She had lots of wonderful books, clothes, artwork she created, and artwork she collected. It's on ongoing process to either let go of something or to keep it. It helps to see connection as a healthy thing rather than an attachment to get over.
It helps me too at the 1 year landmark to see connection as a healthy thing rather than an attachment to get over…I find Jo so wise & comforting…it is too bad most everyone else looks at grief from the model of closure & move on…
My son passed last year and I received so much comfort and solace from talking with a good medium. I know he is around me all the time and he is not in pain anymore and just wants to see me happy. This has helped me more than anything else so far and I will continue to talk with a medium on a yearly basis. To honour him, I arranged for a maple tree to be planted in his favourite park and I go there every chance I get as well.
Oh my gosh Jo thank you for this video…I am at the 1 year landmark with the death of my longtime husband & best friend. I instinctively started using the Continuing Bonds model & I read a few popular grieving books that reflect this model. it brings me great comfort…then my family & friends started to encourage me to be with other grievers, so I attended an in-person grieving group that uses the Bible to cope with loss…they use the old model of detachment-absence-closure & move on…I was blindsided when they said things like don’t talk to your loved one etc….Not judging, just saying, it put me backwards for a bit, so I am warning others here to be careful & take what you like & leave the rest in all things & my experience is let your comfort be your guide…I love the Continuing Bonds model & have embraced it again…I feel better to cope & carry & I feel bone deep comfort to know he is with me…I am grateful for your helpful videos…blessings as we journey on together & alone
I lost my 33 year old son unexpectedly in November of last year. Some days the pain is so unbearable, my heart hurts. I have his ashes in the front room and before I leave I usually kiss my hand and place it on the top and say goodbye. I do want to see a medium because I want to know if he's really okay. I'm so glad I found your RUclips videos. I really appreciate you and your wisdom on Grief. Thanks
I’m so sorry for your loss. It hurts so much that I can’t breathe. I lost my husband a year and half ago. Look into the Bible. Your son is asleep and will be resurrected.😢
I'm glad to hear that what I have been embarrassing and finding the most comfort with has a name and a model. It suits me and even though I don't have support for it, I don't feel alone in it anymore, so thank you.
I have photos of my husband around my house and always talk to him. I place fresh flowers by the photo in the lounge plus I have candles which I use for anniversary’s. I say l love you every morning and every night. You don’t stop loving someone because they have died. My heart is very broken because of the loss of my dearest loving friend. Two years plus have passed and I’m still crying myself to sleep. My husband is the first person to die in my life as I didn’t know my grandparents and both parents are still alive. My parents never spoke of my grandparents deaths, we were told not to talk about it. Very sad indeed. We immigrated when I was four from England having now family here.
My continuing bond is visiting the cliffs at Davenport Beach CA where my son's ashes were released. Watching a movie we both liked, listening to a song we both liked, and wearing his favorite sweatshirt
Your videos have helped me so much. It has been almost a year since I lost my husband. I honor my loved one by recalling so many happy events, photos near me and remembering him at special events. I am who I am because he was a major part of my life. How could I not honor him? It is a challenging journey and I still find myself working thru the grief but am determined to make my life one that would make him happy for me. I have heard his voice, found things that meant alot to both of us, and felt him nearby. So very thankful for this.
I’m going through complicated grief since my Mom’s passing. There’s nothing easy about it. I cry 😢 daily + miss her terribly. Everyone else has moved on. I talk to her daily. Labels don’t help at all. It’s very personal. Grief is a thief + hides in the shadows.
I totally understand. My mom will be gone a year next month and everyone thinks that I should be over the grieving process. I feel like it happened yesterday. I cry everyday 😢.
@@Dana-jq2um I get it. I just passed the 1 year mark + it does feel like 2 weeks ago. Since we were close, it’s hitting me the hardest. I can’t quite get to the other side. There are grief triggers everywhere. I’m very sad underlying daily life. My sorrow runs deep. 😢 Life is very dull w/o her. // Hang in there. Cry if you need to. They are still w/us somehow.
@@Dana-jq2um 🤍 I understand. I have similar experience. Just devastating the idea that I have to get up every day for how many more years and my mom is not in the world. People are trying to help and want the best for us but it does NOT help to insist we must be done on their schedule. And forget.
@@raew5263 I'm so sorry. I know what you mean. I think it is ok to cry every day. I try to mix in a laugh or a smile about my mom each day with the cry. But it is still just yucky.
I wear his gifts, and the radio in the car is on his favourite broadcast ( the music he listened to and we danced on / good times and smiles) and eat his favorite cake on his birthday to celebrate his life and person/being
Your talk about the continuing grief model is so apposition. One of the reasons I love what you say is because it asks me to use my mind in a searching way and confront my symptoms of grief. I have always been religious. Spiritualism…don’t know, but I have just moved a lovely picture of my late wife to a table where I can see it all the time. We are still together because of you, kind Jo. I see it in your face. You care deeply about people. Thanks. Edward.
I am newly widowed. I miss my husband very much and since I come from a culture where women wore black clothes in remembrance of loved ones who died I have been wearing black since I lost him. I find this very comforting as it turns out it continues the bond I have with him. I have begun to understand why some women continue this custom for many years.
It has only been 4 months since I lost my Mom, but I too wanted to share bits of information as things happened, so I out loud tell her. As for Spirituality, it brings me comfort to think that she’s healthy and happy now, and with my Dad, and all her family and friends and animals we had. Knowing she’s not alone is very comforting. I also remember what a worrier she was, so I tell her I miss her, but I’ll be alright, and not to worry. I don’t quite believe that yet, but I’m trying. This talk you gave was very comforting Jo. Thank you. 🙏
I listen to songs my dad use to sing to me as a child. The songs we sang together and his favorite song at the final stages of his life. I look at photos of him and I talk to him quietly, when something occurs that I know I would talk to him about.
I love sharing my best friend's story to offer true hope to those suffering through grief and sorrow. Precious Memories-By Sonya Lakey Family Story Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day. My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening. That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are. Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you. His Story Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23) “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12) He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell. “For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price] “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8) Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today! “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him. “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b) Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour! “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28) Your Story What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son. The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven. “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6) We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready? “...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b) “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c) ****************************** This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless! Tribute to Ethan Lakey ruclips.net/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/видео.html
This was a wonderful , and compelling, video . One of the best while ALL of your videos have been the major source for me to understand how to navigate with my grief. Husband died three months ago after being on life support for a week. We were married for 54 years. He also was diagnosed with life threatening blood cancer and had colon cancer plus other health issues. He suffered so. I am very fortunate to have a large loving support system. But your advice videos have been significantly helpful. Thank you kindly.
Thank you for this affirmation of the way my own grieving has been unfolding. I have times and places where I go to particular places on my property to "run" back to the one I have depended upon for so many years, for the times when my love would bring me back to center with his profoundly simple wisdom. There, I draw upon my hope of seeing him again someday, and find comfort in thinking about what he would say. Sometimes I cry, and sometimes I laugh because his thinking can still be a part of my life.
I have my husband's urn on my nightstand. It's been over 7 months. I was talking to him and hugging him every day. I have slacked off a bit But the urn will be there when I need to talk.
I kiss his pillow good night every night and rub the pillow as if rubbing his hair that he loved. I lay on his pillow like I’m laying on his chest. His hat hangs on our bed post. I like it there!
My mother died fairly suddenly last month. She was 92 but it does not matter. It was still shocking and sudden to me. She did not want to die and if it were not for a sudden blockage that needed surgery she probably would have been here a year or 2 more to do the things she was excited to do when Covid was "over". She was in a wheelchair from a stroke years ago and needed help, had a bit of memory loss. She lived with me and along with wonderful caregivers I took care of her. I am devastated and heart broken. It feels like a nightmare to come home and she is not there to hug me. I have her ashes for now. Will be buried next month with my dad. I put the ashes in her bed each night and kiss her, leave bedroom TV on for a bit like I used to. Get her up every morning bc it just feels right . For now. A friend suggested I get a giant cut out -like they did for fake fans at NBA during Covid cloaures-and put the cut out in her wheelchair. For now. I will see.
Thank God there are people believing this attachment and honoring model to balance off the "now you can get on with your life" people who are -i guess- trying to be helpful but so NOT helpful.
My dog Zohey and I believed every day is Christmas, and to help and support myself after her passing; I have put sun powered fairy lights throughout my garden, every evening I look at them and remind myself tomorrow is Christmas make it beautiful, then I sit down and plan my tomorrow --- thank you for these amazing insightful content filled videos
Yes, I have been tempted to contact a medium! I’m not sure if I believe, but I’m desperate for a connection. I’m going to try to leave it a few more months as I think I’m too vulnerable and might end up feeling worse💔
God's word tells us to avoid spirit mediums because they are lures used by evil fallen angels to get into your life and torment. Please obey God and you will be safe.
My person was somebody who helped me overcome grief from another loss; it seems rather odd to break the connection with him following his death. He still shapes my life for the better, many years later.
Can you speak more about other kinds of grief? I lost everything in my life that was outside my home, spouse and kids. I also had to watch my children lose friends and school.
How long does this take? It’s 3 months for me since my husband died? It’s really painful thinking of him at the moment? Everything reminds me and everything is painful. I do have a picture up that I kiss and hold sometimes. 💔😭
Yeah I like this grief model I'm getting a lot of The Western cultures sense of just moving on. Comments like " I understand, Oh she was suffering she's not suffering anymore, shes gone now or in a better place," non of its very helpful. I do enjoy staying connected i miss her with all my heart.
I talk to my husband all the time and I feel better when I do, but now having lost mt dog who I talked to as well ...I jus feel so sad and depressed ...it was sudden and she was older but I wasn't ready
It is normal for immigrants to feel a sense of connection to their country of origin or graduates to feel a connection to the school they attended. It's a sense of identity. Perhaps this is somewhat the same.
She says it is a new model. I don't think it is new. I have seen continuing bonds, ongoing relationship and closeness as an approach to those passed over in my mother remembering her parents, my other grandma, people I know from other cultures. It has been with us for a long long time.
I light a candle at night and wish goodnight, in de morning I wish good morning. If things occeur that would be of interest I tell. Chat a bit but not all day
Consider this model of Grief to support your Grief Journey! 🙏🏻. Join The Grievolution Collective to support your Grief with likeminded Grievers. www.jomcrogers.com/grievolution-collective.html
I have a picture of my wife on my phone home page or “wallpaper.” So I greet my wife multiple times every day. This helps.
I have three pictures of my husband that I talk to. The first is in the bedroom and I tell him good morning and good night. The second is in the den where I watch tv and sometimes feel he is there with me and the third is in my wallet so he goes with me wherever I go. I talk to him in the car. He has been gone almost 7 months. But we were blessed to be together for 40 years. I expect I will be taking to him for the rest of my life.
I can see a little more use for the "get through it, get over it and go on" idea with a grief of like a loss other than death. Like a divorce, job, finger, house fire.. etc because we possibly actually CAN go on to have a new job, new marriage, new house and stuff. But in the case of a death of someone very close you love you can never replace that person. And so for many of us yes, we can only move forward WITH that person. Not away from them.
Continuing bonds is how I talk with my husband. I honor him by keeping him close.
Continuing Bonds helps me continue his legacy of love & let him live thru me ✨🦋✨
I say goodnight every night to my husband,he passed 2-24-2023. We were married 54 years then I thank God for our love and years together. We grew up together raising our 2 children.
I 😊still feel connected to my wife who recently passed, and it gives me a sense of ongoing connection that I love
I write to my daughter on her Messenger account. I tell her stories about her little son, family news, about what's blooming in my garden, news of her friends, etc and I include photos. And sometimes I just tell her that I love her and miss her. 💔
I love this model. my son passed away a year ago from Cancer. I watch a missed call video from him, tell corny Dad Jokes, play his favorite music for him when I light a candle next to his ashes. I visit the beach where most of his ashes are spread in Santa Cruz
My husband has been gone a year. He took his life and I talk with him and share with him regularly. I keep an oral journal and it helps so much. Sometimes it is just a conversation with him. ❤️ I am not stuck or losing my sanity.
Jo each video you are talking to me..I lost my husband 3 years ago to lung cancer…since then life is a struggle however since I have joined your channel everything you say fits me …it is such a shame that grief bereavement is not taught at school because at some point in our lives we all experience grief love you xxxfrom Eileen in Northamptonshire UK👍❤️🙏
Thank you Jo, for you kind and insightful comments. I lost my wife 1 year and 5 months ago, we were together 33 years. She had lots of wonderful books, clothes, artwork she created, and artwork she collected. It's on ongoing process to either let go of something or to keep it. It helps to see connection as a healthy thing rather than an attachment to get over.
It helps me too at the 1 year landmark to see connection as a healthy thing rather than an attachment to get over…I find Jo so wise & comforting…it is too bad most everyone else looks at grief from the model of closure & move on…
My son passed last year and I received so much comfort and solace from talking with a good medium. I know he is around me all the time and he is not in pain anymore and just wants to see me happy. This has helped me more than anything else so far and I will continue to talk with a medium on a yearly basis. To honour him, I arranged for a maple tree to be planted in his favourite park and I go there every chance I get as well.
Oh my gosh Jo thank you for this video…I am at the 1 year landmark with the death of my longtime husband & best friend. I instinctively started using the Continuing Bonds model & I read a few popular grieving books that reflect this model. it brings me great comfort…then my family & friends started to encourage me to be with other grievers, so I attended an in-person grieving group that uses the Bible to cope with loss…they use the old model of detachment-absence-closure & move on…I was blindsided when they said things like don’t talk to your loved one etc….Not judging, just saying, it put me backwards for a bit, so I am warning others here to be careful & take what you like & leave the rest in all things & my experience is let your comfort be your guide…I love the Continuing Bonds model & have embraced it again…I feel better to cope & carry & I feel bone deep comfort to know he is with me…I am grateful for your helpful videos…blessings as we journey on together & alone
I lost my 33 year old son unexpectedly in November of last year. Some days the pain is so unbearable, my heart hurts. I have his ashes in the front room and before I leave I usually kiss my hand and place it on the top and say goodbye. I do want to see a medium because I want to know if he's really okay. I'm so glad I found your RUclips videos. I really appreciate you and your wisdom on Grief. Thanks
I’m so sorry for your loss. It hurts so much that I can’t breathe. I lost my husband a year and half ago. Look into the Bible. Your son is asleep and will be resurrected.😢
I'm glad to hear that what I have been embarrassing and finding the most comfort with has a name and a model. It suits me and even though I don't have support for it, I don't feel alone in it anymore, so thank you.
Yes, I keep good memories of both my partner and my parents.
I have photos of my husband around my house and always talk to him. I place fresh flowers by the photo in the lounge plus I have candles which I use for anniversary’s. I say l love you every morning and every night. You don’t stop loving someone because they have died.
My heart is very broken because of the loss of my dearest loving friend. Two years plus have passed and I’m still crying myself to sleep.
My husband is the first person to die in my life as I didn’t know my grandparents and both parents are still alive. My parents never spoke of my grandparents deaths, we were told not to talk about it. Very sad indeed. We immigrated when I was four from England having now family here.
My continuing bond is visiting the cliffs at Davenport Beach CA where my son's ashes were released. Watching a movie we both liked, listening to a song we both liked, and wearing his favorite sweatshirt
Your videos have helped me so much. It has been almost a year since I lost my husband. I honor my loved one by recalling so many happy events, photos near me and remembering him at special events. I am who I am because he was a major part of my life. How could I not honor him? It is a challenging journey and I still find myself working thru the grief but am determined to make my life one that would make him happy for me. I have heard his voice, found things that meant alot to both of us, and felt him nearby. So very thankful for this.
I’m going through complicated grief since my Mom’s passing. There’s nothing easy about it. I cry 😢 daily + miss her terribly. Everyone else has moved on. I talk to her daily. Labels don’t help at all. It’s very personal. Grief is a thief + hides in the shadows.
I totally understand. My mom will be gone a year next month and everyone thinks that I should be over the grieving process. I feel like it happened yesterday. I cry everyday 😢.
@@Dana-jq2um I get it. I just passed the 1 year mark + it does feel like 2 weeks ago. Since we were close, it’s hitting me the hardest. I can’t quite get to the other side. There are grief triggers everywhere. I’m very sad underlying daily life. My sorrow runs deep. 😢 Life is very dull w/o her. // Hang in there. Cry if you need to. They are still w/us somehow.
@@Dana-jq2um 🤍 I understand. I have similar experience. Just devastating the idea that I have to get up every day for how many more years and my mom is not in the world. People are trying to help and want the best for us but it does NOT help to insist we must be done on their schedule. And forget.
@@raew5263 I'm so sorry. I know what you mean. I think it is ok to cry every day. I try to mix in a laugh or a smile about my mom each day with the cry. But it is still just yucky.
Im grieving too, I hope you are feeling better
I agree wholeheartedly with this model to many forget I believe in a daily ritual of setting aside time for them
I wear his gifts, and the radio in the car is on his favourite broadcast ( the music he listened to and we danced on / good times and smiles) and eat his favorite cake on his birthday to celebrate his life and person/being
Your talk about the continuing grief model is so apposition. One of the reasons I love what you say is because it asks me to use my mind in a searching way and confront my symptoms of grief. I have always been religious. Spiritualism…don’t know, but I have just moved a lovely picture of my late wife to a table where I can see it all the time. We are still together because of you, kind Jo. I see it in your face. You care deeply about people. Thanks. Edward.
Being a smart ass I mis-spelt apposite. Sorry. I will ‘try harder.’ Edward (again). Thank you.
I am newly widowed. I miss my husband very much and since I come from a culture where women wore black clothes in remembrance of loved ones who died I have been wearing black since I lost him. I find this very comforting as it turns out it continues the bond I have with him. I have begun to understand why some women continue this custom for many years.
It has only been 4 months since I lost my Mom, but I too wanted to share bits of information as things happened, so I out loud tell her. As for Spirituality, it brings me comfort to think that she’s healthy and happy now, and with my Dad, and all her family and friends and animals we had. Knowing she’s not alone is very comforting. I also remember what a worrier she was, so I tell her I miss her, but I’ll be alright, and not to worry. I don’t quite believe that yet, but I’m trying. This talk you gave was very comforting Jo. Thank you. 🙏
I listen to songs my dad use to sing to me as a child. The songs we sang together and his favorite song at the final stages of his life. I look at photos of him and I talk to him quietly, when something occurs that I know I would talk to him about.
I use dowel rods. He can answer my yes no questions and I love you. We saw these work together before he passed away
I love sharing my best friend's story to offer true hope to those suffering through grief and sorrow.
Precious Memories-By Sonya Lakey
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless!
Tribute to Ethan Lakey
ruclips.net/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/видео.html
This was a wonderful , and compelling, video . One of the best while ALL of your videos have been the major source for me to understand how to navigate with my grief. Husband died three months ago after being on life support for a week. We were married for 54 years. He also was diagnosed with life threatening blood cancer and had colon cancer plus other health issues. He suffered so. I am very fortunate to have a large loving support system. But your advice videos have been significantly helpful. Thank you kindly.
Thank you! I so needed this today.
Greetings from the Island of Java.
I post his photo every birthday and anniversary to honor his memory
Thank you for this affirmation of the way my own grieving has been unfolding. I have times and places where I go to particular places on my property to "run" back to the one I have depended upon for so many years, for the times when my love would bring me back to center with his profoundly simple wisdom. There, I draw upon my hope of seeing him again someday, and find comfort in thinking about what he would say. Sometimes I cry, and sometimes I laugh because his thinking can still be a part of my life.
I have my husband's urn on my nightstand. It's been over 7 months. I was talking to him and hugging him every day. I have slacked off a bit
But the urn will be there when I need to talk.
I kiss his pillow good night every night and rub the pillow as if rubbing his hair that he loved. I lay on his pillow like I’m laying on his chest. His hat hangs on our bed post. I like it there!
My mother died fairly suddenly last month. She was 92 but it does not matter. It was still shocking and sudden to me. She did not want to die and if it were not for a sudden blockage that needed surgery she probably would have been here a year or 2 more to do the things she was excited to do when Covid was "over". She was in a wheelchair from a stroke years ago and needed help, had a bit of memory loss. She lived with me and along with wonderful caregivers I took care of her. I am devastated and heart broken. It feels like a nightmare to come home and she is not there to hug me. I have her ashes for now. Will be buried next month with my dad. I put the ashes in her bed each night and kiss her, leave bedroom TV on for a bit like I used to. Get her up every morning bc it just feels right . For now. A friend suggested I get a giant cut out -like they did for fake fans at NBA during Covid cloaures-and put the cut out in her wheelchair. For now. I will see.
Thank God there are people believing this attachment and honoring model to balance off the "now you can get on with your life" people who are -i guess- trying to be helpful but so NOT helpful.
My dog Zohey and I believed every day is Christmas, and to help and support myself after her passing; I have put sun powered fairy lights throughout my garden, every evening I look at them and remind myself tomorrow is Christmas make it beautiful, then I sit down and plan my tomorrow --- thank you for these amazing insightful content filled videos
Yes, I have been tempted to contact a medium! I’m not sure if I believe, but I’m desperate for a connection. I’m going to try to leave it a few more months as I think I’m too vulnerable and might end up feeling worse💔
God's word tells us to avoid spirit mediums because they are lures used by evil fallen angels to get into your life and torment. Please obey God and you will be safe.
My person was somebody who helped me overcome grief from another loss; it seems rather odd to break the connection with him following his death. He still shapes my life for the better, many years later.
Can you speak more about other kinds of grief? I lost everything in my life that was outside my home, spouse and kids. I also had to watch my children lose friends and school.
How long does this take? It’s 3 months for me since my husband died? It’s really painful thinking of him at the moment? Everything reminds me and everything is painful. I do have a picture up that I kiss and hold sometimes. 💔😭
Yeah I like this grief model I'm getting a lot of The Western cultures sense of just moving on. Comments like " I understand, Oh she was suffering she's not suffering anymore, shes gone now or in a better place," non of its very helpful. I do enjoy staying connected i miss her with all my heart.
Absolutely pathological
I talk to my husband all the time and I feel better when I do, but now having lost mt dog who I talked to as well ...I jus feel so sad and depressed ...it was sudden and she was older but I wasn't ready
💕
I like to tell Dad Jokes, my son loved to tell Dad Jokes.
It is normal for immigrants to feel a sense of connection to their country of origin or graduates to feel a connection to the school they attended. It's a sense of identity. Perhaps this is somewhat the same.
YES. I kind of wonder too. Since my mom died I keep thinking about going back to where she was from not just to visit but to learn about the place.
To find a way to get through or through
She says it is a new model. I don't think it is new. I have seen continuing bonds, ongoing relationship and closeness as an approach to those passed over in my mother remembering her parents, my other grandma, people I know from other cultures. It has been with us for a long long time.
I light a candle at night and wish goodnight, in de morning I wish good morning. If things occeur that would be of interest I tell. Chat a bit but not all day
Kiss his pillow 3x each night to say good night and say it and I love you
ｐｒｏｍｏｓｍ 😌
NO SUPPORT JUST BAD ADVICE